Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Welcome to Islamic
Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Donald After.
SPEAKER_01 (00:15):
Hello, hello, hello
everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
The idea for today's podcastcame to me a long time ago
during a coaching program that Itook with Dr.
Hala Sabri.
She's one of those rare womenwho is multidimensional,
brilliant, an entrepreneur,community builder, a mother, a
friend, and she is all wrappedup in one powerhouse of a human
(00:38):
being, mashallah.
If you're not in the physicianworld, it's gonna be hard to
imagine the scope of herinfluence.
But she created Physicians Mom'sGroup, or PMG, which is now has
around 85,000 women.
They're all physicians, theylive across the globe.
When I first joined there wereonly around three to four
(00:58):
thousand of us.
Dr.
Sabri has created an incrediblesupport system through all of
her services, including thisFacebook group.
And over the years I've had achance to attend two of the PMG
retreats.
And Alhamdulillah, they've beenone of my best investments that
I've made.
During one of these retreats ora group coaching session with
her, someone brought up a topicfor coaching and then she
(01:20):
brought up the idea of being aCEO of your life.
And I don't remember if it wasme or somebody else being
coached, and I don't rememberwhen it was.
But the whole idea landed verydeep in my body, and I've been
massaging this concept in myhead all this time.
I've implemented it and I'veseen amazing results, and I do
think it's extremely replicablebecause I teach it to my clients
(01:44):
and they see results too.
So today I'm gonna break thisconcept down.
I'm gonna be creating twoepisodes for this podcast series
being a CEO of your life.
Today I will tell you about theimportance of the mindset, and
in the next one I will tell youabout the step by step framework
for how to practice and use it.
So first starting with somebasic definitions.
(02:06):
There are managers and thenthere are CEOs.
Managers are the guardians ofthe schedules, the deadlines,
the reminders.
They put procedures in.
They're like the tiny gears thatkeep the machine running.
Managers respond to whateverlands in front of them, a
crisis, a delay, a mistake, orany task that needs to be
(02:26):
carried out.
The mindset of a manager isanchored in the immediate and
here, making sure everythingfunctions as it is now.
And this is not an insult by anymean, I'm not trying to talk
down these responsibilities.
It's just a different job, adifferent description.
Managers maintain the order andCEOs create the order.
(02:48):
Managers run the system, CEOsdesign the system.
And when you live your lifethinking like a manager,
reacting, micromanaging,implementing, checking boxes,
you start believing that this isthe only way to live life.
You forget that you can build anamazing life through leadership,
(03:09):
strategy, and long term vision.
So CEOs on the other hand, livethrough an entirely different
attitude.
They operate from vision, longterm strategy, not from the
noise of the daily tasks.
And this is not to say thatyou're not going to be switching
your hats and going from amanager to a CEO within seconds
during the same day.
(03:31):
You are going to be doing that.
But the CEO is the one whodefines the mission.
She sets the direction anddecides what goals are important
and what are not for thiscompany.
As a CEO, you create the future,the culture, and create a vision
that everyone follows.
Managers worry about themechanics, the deadlines, the
(03:53):
to-do lists.
The CEO shape the meaning behindit, and they create the
frameworks.
They design the systems thatmake these mechanics easier,
faster, sustainable, andefficient.
Your job as a CEO is to befocused on future growth.
A CEO doesn't solve the problemtoday.
(04:14):
She asks how do I prevent thisproblem from becoming tomorrow's
problem?
Enforcing procedures is amanager's mindset.
Questioning them, creating newones, and learning strategies is
the CEO.
CEO does not micromanage thetiny details.
So to understand this shift evenbetter, we have to look at what
(04:36):
makes the CEO be at a completelydifferent altitude.
What is the energy of that role?
What is that mindset?
What makes a CEO operatedifferently compared to everyone
else?
And I'm going to be talkingabout this as it relates to your
daily life, not necessarily thecorporate world.
Although of course that mindsetapplies to the corporate world.
(04:57):
That's where the term chiefexecutive officer comes from.
But I want you to see how it'sapplicable to your life without
you ever carrying that title.
Now elaborating on thiscomparison, you might see that
your home is being run like achaotic startup.
No system, no onboarding, noclear roles, just you as an
(05:19):
exhausted woman going from onetask to another.
The laundry, the dinner, thebedtime, they're all crises in
management.
And as a manager, you're notgonna have a chance to zoom out
and see what solves thisproblem?
How can I improve the companyculture?
If you stay in the manager'smindset, you're gonna continue
(05:40):
to stay at the level of tryingto put out daily fires.
As a CEO, your responsibility isto ask questions like what does
this household exactly need?
What kind of organization andstructure does it need?
What will make it sustainable?
And I'm gonna give you a lotmore language around it because
I'm not asking you to be givingorders or enforcing orders.
(06:04):
I'm not asking you that peoplethat you're trying to create
these frameworks for follow youblindly.
I'm asking you to be a visionaryand become comfortable in that
role.
When you do that, you're gonnabecome a woman who leads with
intention instead of adrenaline.
Most of the women are operatingas managers inside their homes.
(06:25):
They're running on urgency,juggling tasks.
Who didn't eat, who didn'tshower, who packed their bags
and how much stuff did theyleave out?
Who didn't flush the toilet?
Who needs a ride next?
Whose homework is due when?
You as a manager are respondingto everyone's needs in real
(06:45):
time, like a walking customerservice department, and that's
very draining.
Society overall trains you tobelieve that this is normal and
even admirable, and if you'renot burned out to this level as
a mother, you might not even bea good mother.
This is rather unfortunatebecause that's not what good
motherhood means.
If that was the case, you wouldconstantly be feeling irritated
(07:09):
and resentful.
Now a woman who runs a householdas a startup versus a
multimillion dollar enterprise,she is going from the mindset of
a middle manager to a mindset ofa CEO.
When you as a woman step intothe CEO role of your own life,
you rise above the constantnoise of getting things done.
(07:33):
You become the one who decidesthe culture of your home.
And this is not done bycontrolling everyone, it's done
by anchoring yourself in yourown vision and clarity and
purpose.
That way you're gonna stopdrowning in the daily mechanics
of things, meals, laundry,bedtime, carpool.
And from this mindset you'regonna start asking questions
(07:55):
that are gonna change your life.
What kind of home do I want?
What values do I want mychildren to embody?
What systems will support mysanity five years from now?
And not just today.
That way instead of reacting toevery spill and every argument
and running after your kidsbecause of their forgotten
assignments like a policeofficer, you anticipate this
(08:18):
future and start solving for it.
This is much more sustainable,this is much more strategic,
this is where your authority hasa completely different aura.
You're much more coherent, muchmore magnetic.
This way you're becoming aperson who leads your life, not
somebody who wants to controleveryone and everything because
(08:38):
she's always so frustrated.
What I really want you to takefrom this is the mindset behind
all of these roles.
The manager and a CEO movethrough the world with two
completely different internalpostures.
One is reactionary, one isdirectional.
One is how do I handle what isin front of me, which has a time
(09:01):
and a place, and the other oneis how do I design what's ahead
of me?
This is a real multifaceted,multitasking Muslim woman.
Someone who can jugglemotherhood, marriage, career,
community, herdeen, friendships,aging parents, everything with
sustainability and joy.
(09:21):
You are performing both roles ofa manager and a CEO every day,
but you're leaning into yourmanager mindset a lot more than
the CEO mindset.
You already do it all.
As a manager, you're thescheduler, the cook, the crisis
intervention team, the householdtherapist, the Uber driver.
(09:43):
You're already doing themanagerial tasks.
What you're not doing or barelydoing is tapping into the CEO
mindset, and that is the partthat will save you.
That's the mindset that willpull you out of your burnout.
This podcast is your invitationto step out of micromanagement,
out of the endless cycles ofputting out fires, and step more
(10:06):
and more into the long-termvision of leadership.
When you start to treat yourlife the way a CEO treats her
company, the managers that carryout the routines, all of the
people around you, theyautomatically start organizing
themselves.
The managers come into place.
More and more people start tofill the role of managers.
(10:28):
Everything from your home to anyother single one of your goals
start to fall into structure.
The husband becomes moreaccountable, the kids become
more responsible, the friendsbecome more responsive.
When you shift into the CEOenergy, the mechanics of your
life fall into placeautomatically.
So then you don't have to worryabout micromanagement because
(10:52):
that automatically starts tohappen.
At this point I've given youmultiple household examples.
And all this time you mightalready be a CEO of a
corporation and not even actinglike one.
You may or may not have thattitle in the most commonly
understood sense of things, butyou can act like one.
(11:12):
Where are the possibilities foryou to exist as a CEO in your
life, but you're not reallytapping into that?
Is it your workplace?
Is it your voluntaryorganization?
Is it your education?
Is it your spiritual journey?
What I'm trying to do here isshow you that CEO has nothing to
do with a job that you interviewfor or you get accepted for.
(11:36):
It's just a mindset.
Where in your life are youapplying the CEO mindset?
As a CEO, you're gonna be cominginto a problem with solution
mode.
You're gonna lock in at theproblem in front of you and
you're gonna put systems intoplace that help you solve that
problem.
Not only once, but over and overso that the problem doesn't even
(11:58):
exist anymore.
And the system stop the problemfrom recurring.
Maybe you have a title in theformal linkeded approved sense,
but even without that title, youhave the option to function like
a CEO in so many places.
This also begs the question,where in your life are you a CEO
(12:19):
and have the opportunity to doso, but still continuing to show
up as a manager?
Your responsibility is gonnastart to shift.
You're gonna start askingquestions like what systems do I
need to put in place for thishousehold to run smoothly?
What will make this sustainablefor me and everyone else?
What structure supports the kindof family culture I want to
(12:42):
raise my kids in?
When you start asking thesequestions then your CEO brain is
gonna start creating frameworks.
Maybe it's gonna look like theone child is fully responsible
for the laundry, while the otherone handles dishes, or maybe it
looks like that each child isgonna do their own laundry and
their own dishes, or they'regonna rotate each responsibility
(13:04):
weekly, or you're gonna assigndays.
Or you're working on creating asystem where everyone shares a
task.
The point is the CEO does notcling to one right way.
The CEO designs the way thatworks.
And the more and more you leaninto this, the more you allow
this, the CEO mindset will showyou that the inspiration for
(13:28):
your system can come fromanywhere.
Something that you read in aparenting book, something that
you heard on this podcast,something that a friend
mentioned in passing andsuddenly it made a lot of sense
to you.
Or something that is entirelyyour own, unique and custom
tailored to your family'spersonality and your goals.
(13:49):
The origin of where theinspiration or where the
framework came from doesn't evenmatter.
What matter is that youintentionally chose that
strategy that solves the problemand prevents it from repeating.
In a friendship, this might looklike looking forward to a fun
outing, but it turns out thatthere are scheduling conflicts
(14:11):
and everyone's very busy.
Instead of trying to micromanagethings or silently resenting
that you can't hang out withyour girlfriends, you create a
simple structure that works foreveryone and starts by asking if
your friends share your visionwith you.
And if someone forgets or showsup late, you let that be a part
of the learning curve instead oftaking it personally.
(14:34):
In business, it might look likefinally recognizing that your
burnout isn't coming from thework itself, but from the lack
of systems.
So you clarify your vision, youreorganize the workflow, and you
allow the mistakes to sharpen astronger and stronger future
structure.
In community spaces it mightlook like seeing the same
(14:56):
problem repeat for years, andinstead of complaining about the
people, you shift the culture atyour own level, you invite
others into the vision, and youunderstand that consistency is
what transforms the group.
I'm going to be breaking downthis strategy in much more
detail in the next episode, butthis is all about keeping it
(15:18):
simple.
The framework I give you in thenext podcast is going to take
you step by step and make itvery applicable and easy to
follow.
This week you're going to putinto practice being the CEO of
your life without being rigidabout having a title or a corner
office.
Having this mindset, this innerposition that lets you lead all
(15:42):
aspects of your life, yourrelationships, your work, your
friendships, or whatever youwant to succeed in.
You're becoming a person who'sdesigning systems that support
your own well-being, andeverything starts to reorganize
itself around your leadership.
With that, I pray to Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala.
(16:02):
O Allah, grant me and all of usthe clarity to see our life with
vision, the strength to lead itwith wisdom.
Ya Allah, open our hearts toyour guidance and make us a
leader of our lives with yourmercy alone.
Amin Ya Rabul Al Amin.
Please keep me in your draas.
I'll talk to you guys next time.