December 9, 2025 • 18 mins
What if the real problem isn’t your to-do list, but the culture around it? We dive into a practical, four-step framework that shifts you from exhausted micromanager to calm, capable leader....at home, with friends, at work, and in your marriage.
The move is simple and repeatable: identify the problem, get buy-in, allow mistakes, and repeat with steady leadership.
You’ll hear how to stop dramatizing missed chores, late plans, and clunky meetings, and start treating them as data. We walk through the home-chore bottleneck, showing why “they keep forgetting” often hides a skill gap you can teach with patience. In friendships, we co-create structures. At work, we trade reminders for root-cause questions: Is the time wrong? Is the agenda unclear? Does the team understand why the meeting matters?
We also bring this mindset into marriage, where many of us live in nonstop manager mode. Instead of tracking every task and nagging for compliance, we build culture together: shared expectations, weekly check-ins, and plans both partners help design.
Most partners don’t resist responsibility; they resist systems imposed without their voice.
If this resonates, follow the show, share this episode with someone who needs less chaos and more clarity, and leave a review to help others find these tools.
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, open the app and go to the show's page by searching for it or finding it in your library. Scroll down to the "Ratings & Reviews" section, tap "Write a Review," then give it a star rating, write your title and review, and tap "Send"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:04):
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Donald Abdar.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today I'm going to be buildingon my previous podcast,
Importance of a CEO Mindset andHow It Goes Beyond the Corporate
Title and how it's differentfrom that of a manager.
One is not more important thanthe other or superior than the
other, but the simple lack ofbeing in a CEO mindset creates
(00:39):
so many problems in your lifethat are otherwise very easily
fixable.
So today I'm going to be talkingabout the exact strategy to put
in place to make this changepractical.
For that to happen, inshallah,you're going to be putting in
four steps into place.
These are the four steps thattake the CEO mindset and
transform them into practicalreal life change.
(01:03):
Number one, identify theproblem.
Number two, get their buy-in.
Number three, let mistakeshappen.
Number four, repeat.
Okay, so now I'm gonna expand oneach, let you know what this
means.
So for number one, you have toidentify the problem to start
being able to think like a CEO.
(01:26):
Every transformation starts withan identification of a problem.
Because this is to be treated asinformation, not necessarily
dramatized into catastrophe fromthe beginning.
When something isn't working inyour life, as a CEO you step
back and you ask, what is theissue?
(01:46):
What is the problem that needsmy attention?
Instead of reacting emotionallyand drowning in guilt or
continuing to create resentment,you as a CEO analyze the weak
point and then you start todesign structures around it.
And don't worry, after I gothrough each step one by one in
detail, I'm gonna give youplenty of examples that it's
(02:07):
gonna make sense.
Step number two is you get theirbuy-in.
Because no one works towardsupholding the structures that
you envision if they don't thinkit's important.
You cannot run a householdwithout everyone's buy-in.
You cannot have a fun outingwith your friends without
everyone agreeing that it's funfor everyone.
(02:29):
Stakeholders are the peopleinvolved in your vision.
It can be employees, yourfriends, children, community
members.
They only follow the systemsthat you put in place when they
also believe in the outcome.
Employees might show up for apaycheck or because they believe
in their company's vision.
Children might show up becausethe system connects them to
(02:51):
personal benefit, a valuethey're learning.
Maybe they do their laundrybecause otherwise nothing clean
will magically appear in theircloset.
Maybe they participate becausethey're learning responsibility,
hygiene, social connection,teamwork.
Or because you're successfullyteaching them how a family
collaborative system works.
(03:12):
And if you have a kid thatgenuinely does not care whether
they wear their clothes dirty orclean, this is your reason to
teach, not to punish.
You teach values, you createmeaning for them, you teach them
around the basic concepts ofcleanliness.
Step number three is that youlet mistakes happen because
change in culture takes time.
(03:33):
And this is what most Muslimwomen struggle with.
At the first sign of mistake,you're gonna have a tendency to
throw your hands up and say, Oh,this doesn't work.
But mistakes are not foreverfailures, they're data points.
They show you where the systemneeds tweaking.
If you let your perfectionismrun the show, you will burn out.
(03:54):
Because it's gonna seem likenothing is moving, not even two
inches.
A CEO expects mistakes.
She knows that culture changetakes time.
You're training a skill set intopeople, shaping new habits,
building responsibility,teaching delayed gratification.
Mistakes or delays all mean thatthe system is changing at the
(04:18):
pace of people's nervoussystems.
Step four is implementing thelather, rinse and repeat
process.
This is the most unglamorouspart, the repetition, the
consistency, the implementationagain and again with calm
leadership.
If you roll out a system and youmonitor it without
micromanaging, your adjustmentis going to take multiple
(04:41):
repetitions.
You revisit the buy-in frompeople, you re-explain, you
reground yourself.
And when I say it like this, itstarts to sound like that this
will be a forever cycle of workon your part.
It's really not.
When you repeat these steps witha very coherent and evolved
energy, it takes a very shortperiod of time to start to see
(05:04):
the change in the culture.
Over time, the new systembecomes the new normal, and
everyone within the unit startsto function inside the culture
that you created.
So let's start with someexamples.
If you identify the problem asyou're doing all of the chores
around the house and workinginside and outside of the home,
(05:26):
or you're a stay at home mom andyou want to delegate more, step
one is to identify the problemat hand.
Then comes their buy-in.
Making sure that everyone you'retrying to get in on the system
you're building actually wantsto be there.
If not, then how are you gonnaget their buy-in?
What's going to incentivizethem?
(05:47):
What's going to magnetize them?
Let's say after all of thatyou've decided that child number
one is gonna do laundry onThursdays and child number two
is gonna do dishes.
Thursday arrives and childnumber one completely forgets.
Your unregulated manager brainis gonna want to scream.
See, this is why nothing worksin this house.
(06:09):
I should have just done itmyself.
It's so much faster.
I don't have the bandwidth foreveryone forgetting.
This is the overfunctioningmicromanager talking.
A well grounded manager mightsay, Of course they forgot the
laundry.
Laundry is the least excitingtask on planet Earth.
Forgetting might be normal,nothing has gone wrong.
(06:30):
And with that one thought, it'sgoing to move you from
frustration into leadership.
As a CEO, you create thestrategy, as a manager you
implement it, and in thebeginning, implementation will
not look clean.
It will not align with your CEOvision.
It won't go the way yourehearsed it in your mind.
(06:51):
This is not a sign of failure.
This is literally the part ofthe process.
If your brain immediately offersyou dramatic conclusions about
how irresponsible your childrenare or how bad you are as a mom
or this whole process isuseless, and if you believe
those thoughts, you will staytrapped in constant
(07:11):
micromanagement and overworking.
And this right here makes orbreaks your CEO mindset.
When the strategy you envisiondoes not go as planned, most
women throw it out.
Your job there is not to scrapthe system, it's to refine it
slowly, patiently,strategically.
(07:33):
You're moving at the pace of thechange of your own nervous
system, going from let me fixeverything myself to let me help
the people in my life grow intotheir responsibilities.
Asking these questions isleadership.
This is how you build systems inreal life, not systems that are
(07:53):
working only in your fantasy,not constantly rescuing them,
not constantly rebuking them,just focusing on building
capacity, both theirs and yours.
In this case, what will comeinto your vision that the
irresponsibility wasn't an issueat all?
Maybe the child didn't actuallyknow how to do the laundry and
(08:14):
you assumed that it was commonsense because let's say they're
thirteen.
Your mismanaged mind offers thatthey should know.
How is that possible that ateenager doesn't know how to do
laundry?
Step out of the dramaticinternal monologue.
As a CEO, you put the drama intosilent mode and come into a more
(08:34):
evolved self of okay, my childdoesn't actually know how to do
the laundry.
This is the missing skill.
This is the gap that I realizedafter I started to implement
this strategy.
Maybe they've never been shownthe cycle settings.
Maybe they've never even touchedthe washing machine.
Maybe they don't even know wherethe laundry detergent is or what
(08:55):
it looks like.
All of this is just data.
So now you implement a microstrategy that supports your
long-term vision.
You teach them.
Not once, not angrily, nothuffing and puffing, just
consistently and patiently.
It's like you're onboarding anew employee into their first
(09:15):
week of training.
In their little laundryinternship, if you will, and
suddenly the system's gonnastart to make more sense, it's
gonna become stronger.
Or as an example, in yourfriendships, you have a close
friend and you genuinely lovespending time with her.
But every time the two of youtry to make plans, either one of
(09:36):
you forgets, or the other onedouble books, or someone is
running late, the restaurant istoo noisy, and everything just
feels unsatisfactory.
The manager mindset reacts toevery misstep.
But pulling back and coming intothe CEO mindset, you're gonna
start to recognize the patternsthat are the weak links.
(09:58):
You're going to ask yourselfwhat system can I put into place
that makes this wholeinteraction smoother?
Maybe you both agree on astanding day each month, so
you're not planning everythinglast minute and you're not
forgetting it.
Maybe you agree to FaceTimeuntil you can meet in person.
Maybe you switch from longdinners to a quick catch up
(10:22):
coffee break.
Maybe you set a shared remindertwenty four hours before.
In any of this, you're notcontrolling your friendship or
your friend.
You're creating a structure.
And because this is a systemthat you both built together
with both of your shared visionsof having fun together, any
mistake that might have feltpersonal in the past is going to
(10:45):
become neutral, and suddenly thefriendship goals are gonna
become clearer and stronger andmore achievable.
This is your CEO mindset andfriendship.
Or let's just say you're anactual manager in your
professional job.
You have a real team, aschedule, deliverables, and your
responsibility is to manage dayto day rules of the company.
(11:08):
You make sure people show up tothe meeting, submitting their
reports, they follow thepolicies, and you are good at
this.
You know how to manage tasks.
But even in that case, you canstep into your CEO mindset that
is still available to you.
If you see a problem, you voiceit out.
(11:28):
You ask questions like why arewe always scrambling at the last
minute?
What is the missing piece here?
Maybe the team is always late tomeetings, and as a manager you
have to keep sending reminders,keep taking attendance like
kindergarten.
The CEO mindset in your managerposition is going to look
deeper.
Is the meeting time unrealistic?
(11:50):
Is the agenda unclear?
Does everyone have the buy-in tobe able to attend the meeting
with the same enthusiasm?
Do people understand why thismeeting matters?
You're shifting from reaction toinquiry.
And enough of that is going tochange the entire culture.
You are working as a manager,being paid as a manager, but
(12:11):
your CEO mindset is gonna ask,where is the bottleneck?
Where is the workflow broken?
And in that case also, you'regoing to bring the same
four-step framework into yourprofessional world.
You're gonna start seeing theproblem, you're gonna define it
clearly, you're gonna involvethe people who are affected by
(12:32):
it, you're gonna allow themistakes to show you where the
system is weak, and you willkeep refining the structure
until it works.
Your CEO mindset is neverlimited to your job title or the
life's function that you'reperforming.
It is available to you all thetime.
Now let's bring the CEO mindsetto your relationship with your
(12:55):
husband, because that's one ofthe places where it becomes
very, very transformative.
No matter how loving yourmarriage is, most of you are
defaulting to the manager modewith your husband.
You manage the schedule, theemotional temperature of the
house, the dentist'sappointments, the in-law
expectations, everything andanything.
(13:18):
And when you're mostly in thatmode, you start to manage your
husband also.
Did you call the plumber?
Did you remember to pick up thekids?
How many reminders do I have tosend you in order for you to
remember to pick up the kids?
Did you remember to call yourmom for her birthday?
All of this is a mental to-dolist, a managerial mindset.
(13:40):
A CEO mindset invites you tostep out of this exhausted
posture because even inmarriage, and maybe especially
in marriage, the CEO mindset isavailable to you.
The manager focuses on the chorechart of the relationship, the
CEO focuses on the culture ofthe relationship.
(14:01):
The manager asks why didn't hedo what I asked him to do?
The CEO asks what are theexpectations that I set in place
and what conversation ismissing?
Maybe he does forget things.
A manager's gonna nag.
A CEO is gonna look at the routeand find out what she can do to
support him.
(14:21):
Is it timing?
Is it mental load imbalances?
Is it his executive functioning?
Is it his lack of buy-in intothe plan?
He doesn't even care what youthink is very important.
A CEO asks what structure do weneed to place to have better
conversations?
Is it weekly check-ins?
Is it less check-ins?
(14:43):
Is it clearer expectations andthen releasing yourself from
those expectations?
What environment is going tohelp your connection grow?
All of these questions make youvery intentional.
It take you out of micromanagingyour husband and into leadership
positions where you believe inhis capacity and you lead with
(15:04):
compassion and long-term vision.
Honestly, the truth is mosthusbands don't resist
responsibility.
The only thing they're resistingis your inner chaos, the forced
expectations that you place onthem.
And they resist a system if theyhad no part in creating it.
If you tell him and show him howthe current system is affecting
(15:28):
you, more than likely he willopt in to help you.
This is exactly why the CEOframework works here as well.
You identify the issue withoutpointing fingers or without
creating blame.
You create the plan with him,you don't throw it at him.
This is you getting the buy-in.
You allow the mistakes and thebumps to be the part of the
(15:51):
process without making it meanthat your marriage is doomed to
fail, or without falling intoany other catastrophizing
language.
And you continue to refine,refine it together, calmly,
lovingly, consistently.
This is how marriage is apartnership and not a project.
This is how you shift from Ihave to carry everything and do
(16:14):
everything in this house to webuilt this life together.
So Inshallah, by now you've beenable to see that leaders are
women that practice their CEOmindset and put infrastructures
into place.
And you can choose any goal inyour life to practice the CEO
mindset on.
(16:34):
It can be outings, family trips,play dates.
It could be your role in thecorporate world, it could be
your role as a community leader.
The four steps to take the CEOmindset to strategy is
identifying the problem, gettingbuy-in, letting mistakes happen,
(16:55):
and repeating the processwithout drama.
With that I pray to AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'ala, Ya Allah,
guide me and all of us towardswise decisions and clear
systems.
Bless our efforts withsincerity.
Help me lead my life with calmpurpose and spaciousness.
(17:15):
Ya Allah, let every challengebecome an insight.
Make my leadership a form ofworship, and create my clarity a
source of mercy for peoplearound me.
Amin Yarabul Amin.
Please keep me in your du'as.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Donald Abdar.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today I'm going to be buildingon my previous podcast,
Importance of a CEO Mindset andHow It Goes Beyond the Corporate
Title and how it's differentfrom that of a manager.
One is not more important thanthe other or superior than the
other, but the simple lack ofbeing in a CEO mindset creates
(00:39):
so many problems in your lifethat are otherwise very easily
fixable.
So today I'm going to be talkingabout the exact strategy to put
in place to make this changepractical.
For that to happen, inshallah,you're going to be putting in
four steps into place.
These are the four steps thattake the CEO mindset and
transform them into practicalreal life change.
(01:03):
Number one, identify theproblem.
Number two, get their buy-in.
Number three, let mistakeshappen.
Number four, repeat.
Okay, so now I'm gonna expand oneach, let you know what this
means.
So for number one, you have toidentify the problem to start
being able to think like a CEO.
(01:26):
Every transformation starts withan identification of a problem.
Because this is to be treated asinformation, not necessarily
dramatized into catastrophe fromthe beginning.
When something isn't working inyour life, as a CEO you step
back and you ask, what is theissue?
(01:46):
What is the problem that needsmy attention?
Instead of reacting emotionallyand drowning in guilt or
continuing to create resentment,you as a CEO analyze the weak
point and then you start todesign structures around it.
And don't worry, after I gothrough each step one by one in
detail, I'm gonna give youplenty of examples that it's
(02:07):
gonna make sense.
Step number two is you get theirbuy-in.
Because no one works towardsupholding the structures that
you envision if they don't thinkit's important.
You cannot run a householdwithout everyone's buy-in.
You cannot have a fun outingwith your friends without
everyone agreeing that it's funfor everyone.
(02:29):
Stakeholders are the peopleinvolved in your vision.
It can be employees, yourfriends, children, community
members.
They only follow the systemsthat you put in place when they
also believe in the outcome.
Employees might show up for apaycheck or because they believe
in their company's vision.
Children might show up becausethe system connects them to
(02:51):
personal benefit, a valuethey're learning.
Maybe they do their laundrybecause otherwise nothing clean
will magically appear in theircloset.
Maybe they participate becausethey're learning responsibility,
hygiene, social connection,teamwork.
Or because you're successfullyteaching them how a family
collaborative system works.
(03:12):
And if you have a kid thatgenuinely does not care whether
they wear their clothes dirty orclean, this is your reason to
teach, not to punish.
You teach values, you createmeaning for them, you teach them
around the basic concepts ofcleanliness.
Step number three is that youlet mistakes happen because
change in culture takes time.
(03:33):
And this is what most Muslimwomen struggle with.
At the first sign of mistake,you're gonna have a tendency to
throw your hands up and say, Oh,this doesn't work.
But mistakes are not foreverfailures, they're data points.
They show you where the systemneeds tweaking.
If you let your perfectionismrun the show, you will burn out.
(03:54):
Because it's gonna seem likenothing is moving, not even two
inches.
A CEO expects mistakes.
She knows that culture changetakes time.
You're training a skill set intopeople, shaping new habits,
building responsibility,teaching delayed gratification.
Mistakes or delays all mean thatthe system is changing at the
(04:18):
pace of people's nervoussystems.
Step four is implementing thelather, rinse and repeat
process.
This is the most unglamorouspart, the repetition, the
consistency, the implementationagain and again with calm
leadership.
If you roll out a system and youmonitor it without
micromanaging, your adjustmentis going to take multiple
(04:41):
repetitions.
You revisit the buy-in frompeople, you re-explain, you
reground yourself.
And when I say it like this, itstarts to sound like that this
will be a forever cycle of workon your part.
It's really not.
When you repeat these steps witha very coherent and evolved
energy, it takes a very shortperiod of time to start to see
(05:04):
the change in the culture.
Over time, the new systembecomes the new normal, and
everyone within the unit startsto function inside the culture
that you created.
So let's start with someexamples.
If you identify the problem asyou're doing all of the chores
around the house and workinginside and outside of the home,
(05:26):
or you're a stay at home mom andyou want to delegate more, step
one is to identify the problemat hand.
Then comes their buy-in.
Making sure that everyone you'retrying to get in on the system
you're building actually wantsto be there.
If not, then how are you gonnaget their buy-in?
What's going to incentivizethem?
(05:47):
What's going to magnetize them?
Let's say after all of thatyou've decided that child number
one is gonna do laundry onThursdays and child number two
is gonna do dishes.
Thursday arrives and childnumber one completely forgets.
Your unregulated manager brainis gonna want to scream.
See, this is why nothing worksin this house.
(06:09):
I should have just done itmyself.
It's so much faster.
I don't have the bandwidth foreveryone forgetting.
This is the overfunctioningmicromanager talking.
A well grounded manager mightsay, Of course they forgot the
laundry.
Laundry is the least excitingtask on planet Earth.
Forgetting might be normal,nothing has gone wrong.
(06:30):
And with that one thought, it'sgoing to move you from
frustration into leadership.
As a CEO, you create thestrategy, as a manager you
implement it, and in thebeginning, implementation will
not look clean.
It will not align with your CEOvision.
It won't go the way yourehearsed it in your mind.
(06:51):
This is not a sign of failure.
This is literally the part ofthe process.
If your brain immediately offersyou dramatic conclusions about
how irresponsible your childrenare or how bad you are as a mom
or this whole process isuseless, and if you believe
those thoughts, you will staytrapped in constant
(07:11):
micromanagement and overworking.
And this right here makes orbreaks your CEO mindset.
When the strategy you envisiondoes not go as planned, most
women throw it out.
Your job there is not to scrapthe system, it's to refine it
slowly, patiently,strategically.
(07:33):
You're moving at the pace of thechange of your own nervous
system, going from let me fixeverything myself to let me help
the people in my life grow intotheir responsibilities.
Asking these questions isleadership.
This is how you build systems inreal life, not systems that are
(07:53):
working only in your fantasy,not constantly rescuing them,
not constantly rebuking them,just focusing on building
capacity, both theirs and yours.
In this case, what will comeinto your vision that the
irresponsibility wasn't an issueat all?
Maybe the child didn't actuallyknow how to do the laundry and
(08:14):
you assumed that it was commonsense because let's say they're
thirteen.
Your mismanaged mind offers thatthey should know.
How is that possible that ateenager doesn't know how to do
laundry?
Step out of the dramaticinternal monologue.
As a CEO, you put the drama intosilent mode and come into a more
(08:34):
evolved self of okay, my childdoesn't actually know how to do
the laundry.
This is the missing skill.
This is the gap that I realizedafter I started to implement
this strategy.
Maybe they've never been shownthe cycle settings.
Maybe they've never even touchedthe washing machine.
Maybe they don't even know wherethe laundry detergent is or what
(08:55):
it looks like.
All of this is just data.
So now you implement a microstrategy that supports your
long-term vision.
You teach them.
Not once, not angrily, nothuffing and puffing, just
consistently and patiently.
It's like you're onboarding anew employee into their first
(09:15):
week of training.
In their little laundryinternship, if you will, and
suddenly the system's gonnastart to make more sense, it's
gonna become stronger.
Or as an example, in yourfriendships, you have a close
friend and you genuinely lovespending time with her.
But every time the two of youtry to make plans, either one of
(09:36):
you forgets, or the other onedouble books, or someone is
running late, the restaurant istoo noisy, and everything just
feels unsatisfactory.
The manager mindset reacts toevery misstep.
But pulling back and coming intothe CEO mindset, you're gonna
start to recognize the patternsthat are the weak links.
(09:58):
You're going to ask yourselfwhat system can I put into place
that makes this wholeinteraction smoother?
Maybe you both agree on astanding day each month, so
you're not planning everythinglast minute and you're not
forgetting it.
Maybe you agree to FaceTimeuntil you can meet in person.
Maybe you switch from longdinners to a quick catch up
(10:22):
coffee break.
Maybe you set a shared remindertwenty four hours before.
In any of this, you're notcontrolling your friendship or
your friend.
You're creating a structure.
And because this is a systemthat you both built together
with both of your shared visionsof having fun together, any
mistake that might have feltpersonal in the past is going to
(10:45):
become neutral, and suddenly thefriendship goals are gonna
become clearer and stronger andmore achievable.
This is your CEO mindset andfriendship.
Or let's just say you're anactual manager in your
professional job.
You have a real team, aschedule, deliverables, and your
responsibility is to manage dayto day rules of the company.
(11:08):
You make sure people show up tothe meeting, submitting their
reports, they follow thepolicies, and you are good at
this.
You know how to manage tasks.
But even in that case, you canstep into your CEO mindset that
is still available to you.
If you see a problem, you voiceit out.
(11:28):
You ask questions like why arewe always scrambling at the last
minute?
What is the missing piece here?
Maybe the team is always late tomeetings, and as a manager you
have to keep sending reminders,keep taking attendance like
kindergarten.
The CEO mindset in your managerposition is going to look
deeper.
Is the meeting time unrealistic?
(11:50):
Is the agenda unclear?
Does everyone have the buy-in tobe able to attend the meeting
with the same enthusiasm?
Do people understand why thismeeting matters?
You're shifting from reaction toinquiry.
And enough of that is going tochange the entire culture.
You are working as a manager,being paid as a manager, but
(12:11):
your CEO mindset is gonna ask,where is the bottleneck?
Where is the workflow broken?
And in that case also, you'regoing to bring the same
four-step framework into yourprofessional world.
You're gonna start seeing theproblem, you're gonna define it
clearly, you're gonna involvethe people who are affected by
(12:32):
it, you're gonna allow themistakes to show you where the
system is weak, and you willkeep refining the structure
until it works.
Your CEO mindset is neverlimited to your job title or the
life's function that you'reperforming.
It is available to you all thetime.
Now let's bring the CEO mindsetto your relationship with your
(12:55):
husband, because that's one ofthe places where it becomes
very, very transformative.
No matter how loving yourmarriage is, most of you are
defaulting to the manager modewith your husband.
You manage the schedule, theemotional temperature of the
house, the dentist'sappointments, the in-law
expectations, everything andanything.
(13:18):
And when you're mostly in thatmode, you start to manage your
husband also.
Did you call the plumber?
Did you remember to pick up thekids?
How many reminders do I have tosend you in order for you to
remember to pick up the kids?
Did you remember to call yourmom for her birthday?
All of this is a mental to-dolist, a managerial mindset.
(13:40):
A CEO mindset invites you tostep out of this exhausted
posture because even inmarriage, and maybe especially
in marriage, the CEO mindset isavailable to you.
The manager focuses on the chorechart of the relationship, the
CEO focuses on the culture ofthe relationship.
(14:01):
The manager asks why didn't hedo what I asked him to do?
The CEO asks what are theexpectations that I set in place
and what conversation ismissing?
Maybe he does forget things.
A manager's gonna nag.
A CEO is gonna look at the routeand find out what she can do to
support him.
(14:21):
Is it timing?
Is it mental load imbalances?
Is it his executive functioning?
Is it his lack of buy-in intothe plan?
He doesn't even care what youthink is very important.
A CEO asks what structure do weneed to place to have better
conversations?
Is it weekly check-ins?
Is it less check-ins?
(14:43):
Is it clearer expectations andthen releasing yourself from
those expectations?
What environment is going tohelp your connection grow?
All of these questions make youvery intentional.
It take you out of micromanagingyour husband and into leadership
positions where you believe inhis capacity and you lead with
(15:04):
compassion and long-term vision.
Honestly, the truth is mosthusbands don't resist
responsibility.
The only thing they're resistingis your inner chaos, the forced
expectations that you place onthem.
And they resist a system if theyhad no part in creating it.
If you tell him and show him howthe current system is affecting
(15:28):
you, more than likely he willopt in to help you.
This is exactly why the CEOframework works here as well.
You identify the issue withoutpointing fingers or without
creating blame.
You create the plan with him,you don't throw it at him.
This is you getting the buy-in.
You allow the mistakes and thebumps to be the part of the
(15:51):
process without making it meanthat your marriage is doomed to
fail, or without falling intoany other catastrophizing
language.
And you continue to refine,refine it together, calmly,
lovingly, consistently.
This is how marriage is apartnership and not a project.
This is how you shift from Ihave to carry everything and do
(16:14):
everything in this house to webuilt this life together.
So Inshallah, by now you've beenable to see that leaders are
women that practice their CEOmindset and put infrastructures
into place.
And you can choose any goal inyour life to practice the CEO
mindset on.
(16:34):
It can be outings, family trips,play dates.
It could be your role in thecorporate world, it could be
your role as a community leader.
The four steps to take the CEOmindset to strategy is
identifying the problem, gettingbuy-in, letting mistakes happen,
(16:55):
and repeating the processwithout drama.
With that I pray to AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'ala, Ya Allah,
guide me and all of us towardswise decisions and clear
systems.
Bless our efforts withsincerity.
Help me lead my life with calmpurpose and spaciousness.
(17:15):
Ya Allah, let every challengebecome an insight.
Make my leadership a form ofworship, and create my clarity a
source of mercy for peoplearound me.
Amin Yarabul Amin.
Please keep me in your du'as.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
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