September 30, 2025 • 18 mins
What if the fastest way to your goals is to slow down first? We unpack a filtered approach to productivity that keeps your peace intact while you do big, meaningful work...at home, in your career, and in your worship.
We begin by separating self-worth from achievement so your ambition runs on clean fuel, not self-defense. Then we embrace the 50/50 nature of life: joy and frustration, ease and difficulty, all baked into the human design. Finally, we elevate intentions.
Two people can run the same playbook...workshops, client work, meal plans, training sessions, yet get opposite experiences based on their why. Comparison, proving, and approval-seeking burn hot and fast. Service, faith, and legacy burn steady and long.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs calmer productivity, and leave a review to help more listeners find these tools. Your reflections fuel future episodes—what goal will you run through the filters this week?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Tamil Astar.
SPEAKER_01 (00:15):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today I'm going to take youthrough what I call a filtered
approach to productivity.
How you keep moving towards yourgoal while actually enjoying
your life during the process.
I love productivity.
Alhamdulillah.
I love checking something off mylist and thinking, yes, that
came from my brain, from myeducation, from my capacity that
(00:37):
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gaveme.
It came from my experience.
I love creating something thatwasn't here before and knowing
that it's adding value in a waythat only I can, specifically
unique to me.
And the same applies to you.
I love the feeling of thatcontribution in a way that feels
unique and purposeful.
But the differentiation that Ihad to learn is that I don't
(00:59):
make any of that mean somethingabout my inherent worth.
My self worth is alreadycomplete, whether I achieve a
goal or not, whether Icontribute or not, whether the
project turns out to be perfector not.
My worth does not change.
That part is settled.
So when I strive, it's not toprove that I'm good enough, it's
(01:20):
because I'm ambitious, becauseI'm creative, because Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala gave me theresources, because there's
something inside of me thatwants to contribute, that wants
to see what's possible when Ireally lean in into all of the
discomforts.
At the same time I'm also human,and I fall into the trap just
like everyone else, the trap ofhustle, the trap of moving so
(01:43):
fast that you don't even noticethat you're sprinting past the
joy.
And every time I catch myself inthat sprint because somewhere
under the surface I've slippedback into chasing my worth
through accomplishment, then Iredirect and I come back to the
purpose.
And I see this all of the timein the women that I coach.
They're brilliant, capable, highstandard women, but their
(02:06):
nervous systems are running onfumes because their goals are
laced with self-criticism.
They're in regret, constantanxiety, guilt, and that taints
the process, that takes theenjoyment out of the process of
achieving the goal.
It's like driving a beautifulluxury car but driving it with
the parking brake on.
The effort is exhausting and theengine's going to be damaged in
(02:29):
the process.
So today I want you guys to turntowards your goals through a
simple set of filters.
Three filters that clean up thegoal, like filtering muddy water
until it's clear enough todrink.
Once you run your goals throughthese filters, you'll notice
that the urgency behind themdrops.
You will have at your hands asustainable process to achieve
(02:52):
the goals that's even enjoyable.
So some of the reasons why youmight be rushing through life
trying to push and hurry towardsa goal is because knowingly or
unknowingly, you've made thegoal mean something about you,
about your worth, about youridentity, whether you're a good
mother, a successfulprofessional, a valuable person
(03:13):
to the world.
And the moment your brain linksachievement to worth, it turns
up the urgency.
And in that case, you're nottrying to complete a task,
you're trying to defend yourright to feel good about
yourself.
And that's filter number one,self-worth.
You are not going to get marriedbecause you're more valuable or
more worthy.
You're not going to get divorcedfor that reason either.
(03:34):
You're going to work towardsthese goals not because they're
attached to your worth, becauseyou have other reasons behind
it.
Number two filter is other timesthe reason of rushing is because
you've convinced yourself thatlife will be better over there
than it is here.
That once you have hit the goal,you'll finally feel calm, happy,
(03:55):
confident, or whatever it isthat you're craving the goal
for.
The ultimate truth is that lifeis always fifty fifty.
Half the time it feels light,easy, and full of joy.
The other half it's messy,frustrating, and uncomfortable.
Reaching a goal, big or small,does not take you out of this
ratio.
(04:15):
It does not erase the humanexperience.
It just swaps one set ofchallenges for the other.
Your brain is literally designedto interpret life 50% negative
and 50% positive.
It's built into your inherentsystem, so no matter how fast
you try to achieve a goal, nomatter how noble or ambitious
your goals are, you cannotoutrun this design.
(04:38):
If anything, the faster youchase the goal, the more you
miss the opportunity to actuallylive your life.
And this is just as true forspiritual goals as well.
You may feel moments of deeppeace and serenity when you're
focusing on the quality of yourworship, no matter what form
your worship takes, and thesemoments are absolutely real and
(04:59):
beautiful, but your brain isstill human.
Your life will still be the mixof ease and difficulty outside
of those moments.
Even in your season of spiritualgrowth, there will be
distractions, doubts,frustrations, days that you
don't feel at the spiritualhigh.
And all of that does not meanyou're failing, it just means
(05:19):
that you're living a humandesign created by Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala, where boththe comfort and the challenge
exist side by side.
So that was filter number two.
Filter number three is abouthigher intentions.
What are your intentions behindyour goals?
Are you achieving your goalbecause you're in the spirit of
loving productivity?
(05:40):
Or for the sake of your higherintentions?
Which might be that I'm doingthis for the sake of Allah.
I'm doing this because I'mblessed with resources.
I'm doing this because it makesme a better person.
I'm doing this because I want tobe of service, because I want to
leave a legacy for fellow Muslimwomen and my children.
I'm doing this because I want toraise the level of consciousness
(06:03):
of the Muslim Uma.
And what better way to do thatthan through the coaching and
through this podcast?
Because when I speak to a Muslimwoman, I'm influencing the
entire household, hercolleagues, the next generation,
and there's no better supportthat I can provide this world
with the resource that I've beengiven.
And the goal itself is not theproblem, it's the intention
(06:26):
underneath it.
You can have the most beautiful,outwardly noble goal, but if
it's powered by a low levelintention, you'll burn out long
before you arrive at the goal.
So take the same coaching careergoal that I have, that I give
you very elevated intentionsbehind.
On the surface, the goal canlook identical.
(06:48):
Same workshops, same podcasts,same client work.
But if the intention was I needto prove I'm not a failure,
there will be pressure behindevery task I do in this process.
Every setback is going to feelpersonal.
Any week that's slower thanusual is going to feel like
evidence that I'm not goodenough.
And instead of enjoying my work,I'd be white knuckling my way
(07:10):
through it, trying to outrun myself-doubt.
Or maybe another low level ofintention I might have is I have
to keep up with everyone else.
Now my nervous system is runningin comparison mode.
Every time another coachlaunches something or posts
something that goes viral, Ifeel invisible.
I feel the push to work harderand faster.
(07:31):
Not because it's coming for myhigher intentions, but because
I'm afraid I'll be behind.
This fear-based fuel burns hotand fast and it empties the tank
quickly.
Or let's say my other low levelintention is that if I make this
successful, finally people willrespect me.
Now the goal is tied to otherpeople's opinions, which I can't
(07:53):
control anyways.
I'd be constantly scanning forsigns for approval or
disapproval.
Any neutral or negative feedbackwould hit me hard, and this kind
of emotional roller coastermakes it impossible to stay
consistent without crashing.
Makes it impossible for me toenjoy the process.
Low level intentions make thegoal unsustainable because they
(08:16):
add a second hidden job toeverything you do.
Not only are you doing the hardwork of working towards the
goal, you're also trying toprotect your ego.
You're trying to outrun yourinsecurities, you're trying to
keep up with your sense ofself-worth.
All of this extra weight slowsyou down and makes even small
bumps feel like completeroadblocks.
(08:36):
You can take any goal, whetherit's worldly, like building your
career, buying a home, reachinga fitness milestone, or it's
spiritual and otherworldly, likememorizing the Quran or
improving your salah ordeepening your sadqa.
If it doesn't pass through thesefilters, you will almost always
(08:56):
end up with carrying the hustleand anxiety behind them.
You'll push yourself withself-punishment instead of
self-respect, and when you thinkyou've reached that finish line,
you'll feel drained and thegoalpost will move five feet
further.
Without these filters, the goalis ever elusive and always
running away from you.
(09:17):
So maybe you're reaching forproductivity, maybe finally
you're making up with yourin-laws, maybe you're starting
your business, maybe you'rebecoming more serious about your
health, lifting weights, maybeyou're becoming more serious
about your parenting, doing itthrough more thoughtfulness and
more presence.
Whatever your goal is, big orsmall, personal or professional,
(09:40):
worldly or spiritual, take thegoal and run it through these
filters.
Because the way you relate tothe goal before you start will
decide whether you approach itwith calm and confidence or you
approach it with hustle,anxiety, and self-criticism.
And that difference in itselfwill decide if you achieve it at
all.
The reason these filters work issimple.
(10:03):
They clean up the emotional fuelbehind your goal.
When you put your goal throughthese filters, you stop dragging
yourself forward withself-criticism.
Your body is not designed tostay in a high alert mode for
months and years on end.
The fight or flight chemistryeats up your mental focus, your
creative and your physicalenergy.
(10:25):
That's why people burn out.
This is why there are poorerhealth outcomes because when
you're trying to achievesomething through stress, your
health declines.
Filtering your goals throughthis layered approach keeps your
worth and identity off thetable.
So your well-being doesn'tbecome collateral damage in the
(10:46):
process of your growth.
It allows you to pursue big,ambitious things without
sacrificing your peace, yourhealth, your presence along the
way.
So Alhamdulillah, the next goalthat I've created for myself
personally is in the field offitness and it's weight
training, lifting heavier,building more muscle mass, and
(11:08):
I've already accomplished a lotin the area of fitness, but my
next challenge is this, and thisis what I'm excited about.
And because through experience Iknow how easy it is for even the
most exciting goal to turn intohustle and pressure and burnout,
I'm going to take this goalthrough the same filters I'm
teaching you today.
That way I'm not chasingresults, I'm making sure the way
(11:29):
I get there is sustainable andenjoyable.
Paradoxically, your performanceactually improves when you slow
down.
When you filter your goalthrough these layers, you remove
the hustle and the rush.
These are the things that drainthe energy right out of you.
This is what improvesperformance.
If you know how to slow down,put your goals through these
(11:52):
filters, you will access yourgoals through your full
capacity.
You will be removing fear fromthe equation, you will be taking
out the mental noise, the noisethat you're behind, you're not
enough, or you have to earnyourself worth.
When you slow down, your nervoussystem slows down.
That's when everything changes.
(12:12):
The same goal that requires thesame energy creates compounded
results, more creativity, morefocus.
You stop leaking your resourcesinto panic and pressure.
And this is why I run every goalI set through my this layered
approach.
Before I take a single steptowards a goal, I make sure that
the reason of me pursuing thisgoal, that it's coming from
(12:35):
ambition, creativity, service,highest intention.
It's detached from my worth.
I'm not doing it to prove myworth, to outrun the parts of
the human experience that Idon't like.
So I'm gonna give you someexamples.
Let's say you want to get thehouse ready before guests
arrive.
And this seems like a surfacesuperficial goal, but let's see
(12:58):
what it looks like after we putit through the filters.
Filter number one, self worth.
Is my self worth tied to howspoutless the house is or how
perfectly the evening goes?
If yes, it will feel like thatmy identity is on the line, and
the pressure will turn thissimple task into a high stakes
performance.
In which case I'll end uprushing, snapping at everyone,
(13:20):
and when I remove my worth fromthe outcome, it's just cleaning.
It's not whether I'm a good hostor a good wife or a good human.
Filter number two intention.
Why am I doing this?
If the intention is so they'llthink well of me, or so no one
can criticize me, then I'm goingto be constantly working from
(13:41):
anxiety and defensiveness.
But if the intention is that Iwant to create a warm, welcoming
space where the people feelcomfortable and cared for, then
the energy shifts.
I will be efficient.
I will be more likely to pacemyself and focus on what
actually matters into creatingthat space.
Filter number three the humanexperience.
(14:01):
Am I expecting this to goperfectly and feel stress free
before and after?
Or once I get to the goal I willbelieve that the evening will
only be successful and nothingwill go wrong.
In all of that, I'm settingmyself up for failure and
disappointment.
There will be small hiccups, andmaybe a dish is not prepared in
(14:22):
time, maybe a guest arrivesearly, maybe there's a spill in
the room.
Accepting that some chaos isnormal will keep you from
spiraling when it does happen.
When you put your goal no matterhow big or small through these
filters, you will have moreoxygen to run on.
Another example let's say you'retrying to prepare yourself for
(14:44):
Ramadan with detailed mealplans, Drawi schedule, Quran
recitation timelines and charts.
Filter number one, self worth.
Am I making my worth as a Muslimdepend on how perfectly I
execute this plan?
If that's the case, every missedpage or every script night of
Drawi, no matter how good yourreason, is gonna feel like proof
(15:06):
that you're failing spiritually,that pressure will drain the joy
out of worship.
Filter number two intention.
Why am I doing this?
If the intention is that so Ican finally have a perfect
Ramadan like other people, likeInstagram, so that I can prove
that I'm disciplined, this isthe feeling of the comparison in
the ego.
(15:26):
But if the intention is todeepen my connections with Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala, to bringmore barakah into my home and in
my life, then even smaller,slower effort is going to feel
meaningful and satisfying.
Filter number three, humanexperience.
Am I expecting to feelspiritually high and energized
the entire time?
(15:47):
If I believe that I should be ina consistent state of spiritual
bliss, then the first low energyday will feel like a failure.
But if you accept the Ramadanlike all of life, like it's
fifty fifty, moments of peaceand moments of struggle, and
they're all a blessing, you'regoing to stop resisting the
design.
Let's say the next goal iscreating your own business.
(16:09):
Filter number one, is itattached to your self-worth?
Are you making it mean that youvalue more as a human being just
because your business takes offquickly?
It's going to drain you.
Filter number two, why are youcreating the business?
Is the intention so that younever depend on anyone so that
you can prove to everyone thatyou're capable?
(16:30):
Then the approach will be filledwith defensiveness and urgency.
Filter number three, humanexperience.
Are you expecting the journey tobe constantly smooth and
encouraging?
If that's the case, then thefirst glitch, the first hiccup,
any unhappy client, any dry saleperiod is going to feel
catastrophic, that's going todrain you.
(16:53):
Put your goals through thesefilters.
This approach is not going tofail you.
And the highest intention youcan ever place behind any goal,
whether building a business,improving your health, repairing
a relationship, memorizingQuran, the highest intention you
can have is I'm doing this forthe sake of Allah.
(17:13):
Any or all of these filtersaren't here to tell you to
change your goal.
You can keep the exact sametarget.
What changes is yourrelationship with it.
And that shift changeseverything.
Because when your relationshipis clean, when your worth isn't
on the line, when your intentionis high, and when you accept the
(17:34):
fifty fifty nature of life, youstop chasing the goal from fear
and scarcity.
You start walking towards itwith steadfastness.
That way the goal doesn't justget accomplished, it gets
accomplished in a way thatleaves you whole, and you
absolutely enjoy the process.
With that I pray to AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'ala, O Allah,
(17:56):
purify my intentions behind mygoals, steady my heart, and fill
my efforts with barakah and yourblessing.
Let every goal I set to bepleasing to you, O Allah.
Grant me patience, presence, andtrust to complete it with
excellence and ihan.
Amin Ya Rabul Amin.
Please keep me in your du'az.
(18:17):
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Tamil Astar.
SPEAKER_01 (00:15):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today I'm going to take youthrough what I call a filtered
approach to productivity.
How you keep moving towards yourgoal while actually enjoying
your life during the process.
I love productivity.
Alhamdulillah.
I love checking something off mylist and thinking, yes, that
came from my brain, from myeducation, from my capacity that
(00:37):
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gaveme.
It came from my experience.
I love creating something thatwasn't here before and knowing
that it's adding value in a waythat only I can, specifically
unique to me.
And the same applies to you.
I love the feeling of thatcontribution in a way that feels
unique and purposeful.
But the differentiation that Ihad to learn is that I don't
(00:59):
make any of that mean somethingabout my inherent worth.
My self worth is alreadycomplete, whether I achieve a
goal or not, whether Icontribute or not, whether the
project turns out to be perfector not.
My worth does not change.
That part is settled.
So when I strive, it's not toprove that I'm good enough, it's
(01:20):
because I'm ambitious, becauseI'm creative, because Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala gave me theresources, because there's
something inside of me thatwants to contribute, that wants
to see what's possible when Ireally lean in into all of the
discomforts.
At the same time I'm also human,and I fall into the trap just
like everyone else, the trap ofhustle, the trap of moving so
(01:43):
fast that you don't even noticethat you're sprinting past the
joy.
And every time I catch myself inthat sprint because somewhere
under the surface I've slippedback into chasing my worth
through accomplishment, then Iredirect and I come back to the
purpose.
And I see this all of the timein the women that I coach.
They're brilliant, capable, highstandard women, but their
(02:06):
nervous systems are running onfumes because their goals are
laced with self-criticism.
They're in regret, constantanxiety, guilt, and that taints
the process, that takes theenjoyment out of the process of
achieving the goal.
It's like driving a beautifulluxury car but driving it with
the parking brake on.
The effort is exhausting and theengine's going to be damaged in
(02:29):
the process.
So today I want you guys to turntowards your goals through a
simple set of filters.
Three filters that clean up thegoal, like filtering muddy water
until it's clear enough todrink.
Once you run your goals throughthese filters, you'll notice
that the urgency behind themdrops.
You will have at your hands asustainable process to achieve
(02:52):
the goals that's even enjoyable.
So some of the reasons why youmight be rushing through life
trying to push and hurry towardsa goal is because knowingly or
unknowingly, you've made thegoal mean something about you,
about your worth, about youridentity, whether you're a good
mother, a successfulprofessional, a valuable person
(03:13):
to the world.
And the moment your brain linksachievement to worth, it turns
up the urgency.
And in that case, you're nottrying to complete a task,
you're trying to defend yourright to feel good about
yourself.
And that's filter number one,self-worth.
You are not going to get marriedbecause you're more valuable or
more worthy.
You're not going to get divorcedfor that reason either.
(03:34):
You're going to work towardsthese goals not because they're
attached to your worth, becauseyou have other reasons behind
it.
Number two filter is other timesthe reason of rushing is because
you've convinced yourself thatlife will be better over there
than it is here.
That once you have hit the goal,you'll finally feel calm, happy,
(03:55):
confident, or whatever it isthat you're craving the goal
for.
The ultimate truth is that lifeis always fifty fifty.
Half the time it feels light,easy, and full of joy.
The other half it's messy,frustrating, and uncomfortable.
Reaching a goal, big or small,does not take you out of this
ratio.
(04:15):
It does not erase the humanexperience.
It just swaps one set ofchallenges for the other.
Your brain is literally designedto interpret life 50% negative
and 50% positive.
It's built into your inherentsystem, so no matter how fast
you try to achieve a goal, nomatter how noble or ambitious
your goals are, you cannotoutrun this design.
(04:38):
If anything, the faster youchase the goal, the more you
miss the opportunity to actuallylive your life.
And this is just as true forspiritual goals as well.
You may feel moments of deeppeace and serenity when you're
focusing on the quality of yourworship, no matter what form
your worship takes, and thesemoments are absolutely real and
(04:59):
beautiful, but your brain isstill human.
Your life will still be the mixof ease and difficulty outside
of those moments.
Even in your season of spiritualgrowth, there will be
distractions, doubts,frustrations, days that you
don't feel at the spiritualhigh.
And all of that does not meanyou're failing, it just means
(05:19):
that you're living a humandesign created by Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala, where boththe comfort and the challenge
exist side by side.
So that was filter number two.
Filter number three is abouthigher intentions.
What are your intentions behindyour goals?
Are you achieving your goalbecause you're in the spirit of
loving productivity?
(05:40):
Or for the sake of your higherintentions?
Which might be that I'm doingthis for the sake of Allah.
I'm doing this because I'mblessed with resources.
I'm doing this because it makesme a better person.
I'm doing this because I want tobe of service, because I want to
leave a legacy for fellow Muslimwomen and my children.
I'm doing this because I want toraise the level of consciousness
(06:03):
of the Muslim Uma.
And what better way to do thatthan through the coaching and
through this podcast?
Because when I speak to a Muslimwoman, I'm influencing the
entire household, hercolleagues, the next generation,
and there's no better supportthat I can provide this world
with the resource that I've beengiven.
And the goal itself is not theproblem, it's the intention
(06:26):
underneath it.
You can have the most beautiful,outwardly noble goal, but if
it's powered by a low levelintention, you'll burn out long
before you arrive at the goal.
So take the same coaching careergoal that I have, that I give
you very elevated intentionsbehind.
On the surface, the goal canlook identical.
(06:48):
Same workshops, same podcasts,same client work.
But if the intention was I needto prove I'm not a failure,
there will be pressure behindevery task I do in this process.
Every setback is going to feelpersonal.
Any week that's slower thanusual is going to feel like
evidence that I'm not goodenough.
And instead of enjoying my work,I'd be white knuckling my way
(07:10):
through it, trying to outrun myself-doubt.
Or maybe another low level ofintention I might have is I have
to keep up with everyone else.
Now my nervous system is runningin comparison mode.
Every time another coachlaunches something or posts
something that goes viral, Ifeel invisible.
I feel the push to work harderand faster.
(07:31):
Not because it's coming for myhigher intentions, but because
I'm afraid I'll be behind.
This fear-based fuel burns hotand fast and it empties the tank
quickly.
Or let's say my other low levelintention is that if I make this
successful, finally people willrespect me.
Now the goal is tied to otherpeople's opinions, which I can't
(07:53):
control anyways.
I'd be constantly scanning forsigns for approval or
disapproval.
Any neutral or negative feedbackwould hit me hard, and this kind
of emotional roller coastermakes it impossible to stay
consistent without crashing.
Makes it impossible for me toenjoy the process.
Low level intentions make thegoal unsustainable because they
(08:16):
add a second hidden job toeverything you do.
Not only are you doing the hardwork of working towards the
goal, you're also trying toprotect your ego.
You're trying to outrun yourinsecurities, you're trying to
keep up with your sense ofself-worth.
All of this extra weight slowsyou down and makes even small
bumps feel like completeroadblocks.
(08:36):
You can take any goal, whetherit's worldly, like building your
career, buying a home, reachinga fitness milestone, or it's
spiritual and otherworldly, likememorizing the Quran or
improving your salah ordeepening your sadqa.
If it doesn't pass through thesefilters, you will almost always
(08:56):
end up with carrying the hustleand anxiety behind them.
You'll push yourself withself-punishment instead of
self-respect, and when you thinkyou've reached that finish line,
you'll feel drained and thegoalpost will move five feet
further.
Without these filters, the goalis ever elusive and always
running away from you.
(09:17):
So maybe you're reaching forproductivity, maybe finally
you're making up with yourin-laws, maybe you're starting
your business, maybe you'rebecoming more serious about your
health, lifting weights, maybeyou're becoming more serious
about your parenting, doing itthrough more thoughtfulness and
more presence.
Whatever your goal is, big orsmall, personal or professional,
(09:40):
worldly or spiritual, take thegoal and run it through these
filters.
Because the way you relate tothe goal before you start will
decide whether you approach itwith calm and confidence or you
approach it with hustle,anxiety, and self-criticism.
And that difference in itselfwill decide if you achieve it at
all.
The reason these filters work issimple.
(10:03):
They clean up the emotional fuelbehind your goal.
When you put your goal throughthese filters, you stop dragging
yourself forward withself-criticism.
Your body is not designed tostay in a high alert mode for
months and years on end.
The fight or flight chemistryeats up your mental focus, your
creative and your physicalenergy.
(10:25):
That's why people burn out.
This is why there are poorerhealth outcomes because when
you're trying to achievesomething through stress, your
health declines.
Filtering your goals throughthis layered approach keeps your
worth and identity off thetable.
So your well-being doesn'tbecome collateral damage in the
(10:46):
process of your growth.
It allows you to pursue big,ambitious things without
sacrificing your peace, yourhealth, your presence along the
way.
So Alhamdulillah, the next goalthat I've created for myself
personally is in the field offitness and it's weight
training, lifting heavier,building more muscle mass, and
(11:08):
I've already accomplished a lotin the area of fitness, but my
next challenge is this, and thisis what I'm excited about.
And because through experience Iknow how easy it is for even the
most exciting goal to turn intohustle and pressure and burnout,
I'm going to take this goalthrough the same filters I'm
teaching you today.
That way I'm not chasingresults, I'm making sure the way
(11:29):
I get there is sustainable andenjoyable.
Paradoxically, your performanceactually improves when you slow
down.
When you filter your goalthrough these layers, you remove
the hustle and the rush.
These are the things that drainthe energy right out of you.
This is what improvesperformance.
If you know how to slow down,put your goals through these
(11:52):
filters, you will access yourgoals through your full
capacity.
You will be removing fear fromthe equation, you will be taking
out the mental noise, the noisethat you're behind, you're not
enough, or you have to earnyourself worth.
When you slow down, your nervoussystem slows down.
That's when everything changes.
(12:12):
The same goal that requires thesame energy creates compounded
results, more creativity, morefocus.
You stop leaking your resourcesinto panic and pressure.
And this is why I run every goalI set through my this layered
approach.
Before I take a single steptowards a goal, I make sure that
the reason of me pursuing thisgoal, that it's coming from
(12:35):
ambition, creativity, service,highest intention.
It's detached from my worth.
I'm not doing it to prove myworth, to outrun the parts of
the human experience that Idon't like.
So I'm gonna give you someexamples.
Let's say you want to get thehouse ready before guests
arrive.
And this seems like a surfacesuperficial goal, but let's see
(12:58):
what it looks like after we putit through the filters.
Filter number one, self worth.
Is my self worth tied to howspoutless the house is or how
perfectly the evening goes?
If yes, it will feel like thatmy identity is on the line, and
the pressure will turn thissimple task into a high stakes
performance.
In which case I'll end uprushing, snapping at everyone,
(13:20):
and when I remove my worth fromthe outcome, it's just cleaning.
It's not whether I'm a good hostor a good wife or a good human.
Filter number two intention.
Why am I doing this?
If the intention is so they'llthink well of me, or so no one
can criticize me, then I'm goingto be constantly working from
(13:41):
anxiety and defensiveness.
But if the intention is that Iwant to create a warm, welcoming
space where the people feelcomfortable and cared for, then
the energy shifts.
I will be efficient.
I will be more likely to pacemyself and focus on what
actually matters into creatingthat space.
Filter number three the humanexperience.
(14:01):
Am I expecting this to goperfectly and feel stress free
before and after?
Or once I get to the goal I willbelieve that the evening will
only be successful and nothingwill go wrong.
In all of that, I'm settingmyself up for failure and
disappointment.
There will be small hiccups, andmaybe a dish is not prepared in
(14:22):
time, maybe a guest arrivesearly, maybe there's a spill in
the room.
Accepting that some chaos isnormal will keep you from
spiraling when it does happen.
When you put your goal no matterhow big or small through these
filters, you will have moreoxygen to run on.
Another example let's say you'retrying to prepare yourself for
(14:44):
Ramadan with detailed mealplans, Drawi schedule, Quran
recitation timelines and charts.
Filter number one, self worth.
Am I making my worth as a Muslimdepend on how perfectly I
execute this plan?
If that's the case, every missedpage or every script night of
Drawi, no matter how good yourreason, is gonna feel like proof
(15:06):
that you're failing spiritually,that pressure will drain the joy
out of worship.
Filter number two intention.
Why am I doing this?
If the intention is that so Ican finally have a perfect
Ramadan like other people, likeInstagram, so that I can prove
that I'm disciplined, this isthe feeling of the comparison in
the ego.
(15:26):
But if the intention is todeepen my connections with Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala, to bringmore barakah into my home and in
my life, then even smaller,slower effort is going to feel
meaningful and satisfying.
Filter number three, humanexperience.
Am I expecting to feelspiritually high and energized
the entire time?
(15:47):
If I believe that I should be ina consistent state of spiritual
bliss, then the first low energyday will feel like a failure.
But if you accept the Ramadanlike all of life, like it's
fifty fifty, moments of peaceand moments of struggle, and
they're all a blessing, you'regoing to stop resisting the
design.
Let's say the next goal iscreating your own business.
(16:09):
Filter number one, is itattached to your self-worth?
Are you making it mean that youvalue more as a human being just
because your business takes offquickly?
It's going to drain you.
Filter number two, why are youcreating the business?
Is the intention so that younever depend on anyone so that
you can prove to everyone thatyou're capable?
(16:30):
Then the approach will be filledwith defensiveness and urgency.
Filter number three, humanexperience.
Are you expecting the journey tobe constantly smooth and
encouraging?
If that's the case, then thefirst glitch, the first hiccup,
any unhappy client, any dry saleperiod is going to feel
catastrophic, that's going todrain you.
(16:53):
Put your goals through thesefilters.
This approach is not going tofail you.
And the highest intention youcan ever place behind any goal,
whether building a business,improving your health, repairing
a relationship, memorizingQuran, the highest intention you
can have is I'm doing this forthe sake of Allah.
(17:13):
Any or all of these filtersaren't here to tell you to
change your goal.
You can keep the exact sametarget.
What changes is yourrelationship with it.
And that shift changeseverything.
Because when your relationshipis clean, when your worth isn't
on the line, when your intentionis high, and when you accept the
(17:34):
fifty fifty nature of life, youstop chasing the goal from fear
and scarcity.
You start walking towards itwith steadfastness.
That way the goal doesn't justget accomplished, it gets
accomplished in a way thatleaves you whole, and you
absolutely enjoy the process.
With that I pray to AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'ala, O Allah,
(17:56):
purify my intentions behind mygoals, steady my heart, and fill
my efforts with barakah and yourblessing.
Let every goal I set to bepleasing to you, O Allah.
Grant me patience, presence, andtrust to complete it with
excellence and ihan.
Amin Ya Rabul Amin.
Please keep me in your du'az.
(18:17):
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
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