December 23, 2025 • 20 mins
Devotion is the engine that powers your life.
We take a clear-eyed look at devotion as both an inner state and a behavior, an intentional choice that activates purpose, steadies the nervous system, and fuels consistent action.
By separating devotion from obligation, we expose the quiet harm of narratives that call loyalty weakness and effort suffering, especially for Muslim women who carry the emotional labor of family, faith, and community.
You’ll hear why devotion functions like a high-value currency and how to protect it with boundaries that honor your time, energy, and sincerity. Rather than feeding overgiving or enmeshment, healthy devotion creates interdependence,connection with clear edges...so your care lifts others without erasing you.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs the reframe, and leave a review so more listeners can reclaim devotion with intention.
To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, open the app and go to the show's page by searching for it or finding it in your library. Scroll down to the "Ratings & Reviews" section, tap "Write a Review," then give it a star rating, write your title and review, and tap "Send"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:04):
Welcome to Islamic Life Code School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Donald Abdur.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today I'm gonna be talking aboutthe topic of devotion.
And this has been on my mind fora long, long, long time, and I'm
surprised it's just making itinto a podcast topic now.
But here we are.
I think the language and theconcepts I'm about to give you
around devotion are absolutelylife-changing, so be prepared.
(00:38):
The first order of business isjust a simple, plain Google
definition of devotion.
It's defined as love, loyalty,enthusiasm for a person,
activity, or a cause.
To me, devotion is a highvibration emotion.
It is a commitment born fromlove, loyalty, sincerity, and
above all it's born fromconscious choice.
(01:00):
So for me, I define devotion asboth an internal state of
emotion and a behavior.
You feel devoted and dedicatedto a cause and you act devoted
to that cause.
Both an inner state and abehavior.
Devotion means both.
So as an inner state, it's yourpurpose, your direction, your
(01:21):
meaning, your intention.
It is a high energy state that'sfelt in the body that activates
your nervous system into action,steadiness.
It gives you consistency and itgives you purpose.
It is a chosen form ofrelational and personal loyalty
that elevates your life.
Now the unfortunate state ofevents is that the colonized
(01:44):
form of devotion looks likeweakness for a Muslim woman.
Most of your negativeinternalized beliefs about
devotion come fromhyperindividualism and toxic
feminism of the West.
All of that says that devotionas it relates to being loyal to
your marriage, to your kids, toyour deen, to your community, it
(02:06):
says that somehow that devotionproves that you're oppressed or
incapable of independentthought.
Like a woman enjoying thefreedom of choice would never
choose to have obligationstowards her family, which is
obviously not the case.
What I want to tell you is thatyour devotion is a choice, and
you're making it on a dailybasis, and that it's the most
(02:29):
powerful, expensive, high demandcurrency in the world.
And it's entirely possible thateveryone else around you knows
that except you.
Your devotion is what employersbuild companies on.
Your family survives because ofit.
Men marry you for it, and it'sentirely possible that you're
walking around subconsciouslybelieving that it's some sort of
(02:51):
a tragic burden because itcauses a lot of mental and
emotional pain.
So what I'm here to do is toexpose to you how your devotion
got colonized.
How if you're feeling burdenedby your obligations, it might be
because you've absorbed the liethat obligation being same as
devotion, you don't have achoice in it.
(03:11):
Obligation overall is somethingthat you're entrapped by, that
your nervous system goes intosurvival mode around, and your
devotion is something youchoose.
And the moment you see thatdifference, your entire life
immediately starts to feellighter.
You might have had a tendency toconfuse devotion with
obligation, but there isabsolutely a need to
(03:32):
differentiate between the twobecause one implies choice and
the other one doesn't.
Devotion is intentional,energized, it's chosen.
Obligation is forced.
And yet somewhere along the way,especially for Muslim women,
devotion was repackaged as aburden.
All of your acts of loyalty,cooking, caregiving, praying,
(03:53):
showing up, constantly trying,became something that you have
to do instead of something thatyou're choosing to do.
Because of this colonized lens,you stop seeing the strength
behind the devotion.
The world is benefiting fromyour devotion while you're
labeling it as oppression.
You're doing the hard work andhanding away the credit by
(04:17):
calling it pressure.
Devotion is your power, andreclaiming that power begins
with the understanding that youalways have agency of who or
what you choose to devoteyourself to.
Somewhere along the lines ofintellectual colonization,
devotion was rebranded assomething inferior to
(04:37):
independence.
As if loyalty, faithfulness, andconsistency are somehow signs of
your weakness, when they'reactually signs of incredible
emotional intelligence.
Western thought teaches you thatreal power looks like radical
individualism and totaldetachment.
Doing everything for yourself sothat the moment you as a Muslim
(05:00):
woman show devotion to anythingin your life, your husband, your
religion, your family, it getsinterpreted as a lack of freedom
instead of presence of purpose.
That's what devotion is, yourpurpose, if you choose to accept
it like that.
So if you think about it likethis, devotion is a high
currency emotion that sustainslong-term relationships that
(05:24):
hyperindependence can't do.
If you have internalized theidea that devotion equals
weakness on a subconsciouslevel, you will be mistrusting
that very part of you that isresponsible for your deepest
strength.
You'll start to shame yourselffor qualities that make your
life meaningful.
And that is exactly howcolonization works, by making
(05:46):
you doubt the brilliance of yourown emotional architecture.
Sometimes colonization alsoworks by taking your land and
your resources, but here I'mtalking about intellectual
colonization.
Devotion is one of the highestvibrational emotional states a
human being can access.
It moves you, it gives youstamina, it gives you direction,
(06:07):
purpose, internal power, itmakes you get up day after day
and show up for your purpose.
When devotion is chosen, itenergizes you, it organizes your
priorities, it sharpens yourintentions, it creates a strong
sense of meaning that randombursts of motivation can't even
come close to.
(06:28):
This is why the woman whodevotes herself to the purpose
she's chosen is extremelypowerful, purposeful, and
anchored.
The biggest tragedy ofintellectual colonization is
that it teaches women tointerpret their devotion as
suffering.
You could be showing up everyday with sincerity, loyalty,
(06:49):
intention, but instead of seeingit as strength, you label it as
self sacrifice.
Not because that's what itactually is, it can be self
sacrifice, especially when it'sextended really far, but mostly
you're labeling it devotion astoxic self sacrifice because
colonized mind is trained tomistrust anything relational,
(07:11):
anything long term, anythingthat's communal and looks like
commitment.
So when you're staying committedto the people you love, to your
marriage, to your children, toyour Deen, a point comes when
you stop seeing your devotion asa conscious choice and you start
seeing it as stuckness.
You are gonna be waking up earlyto care for your home.
(07:31):
You're going to be makingcontinued dua for healing your
relationships.
You're going to be dedicatingyourself to the people around
you, but you're going to see itas burden, but you're not going
to see it as purpose.
You're going to start seeing allof it as burden.
The colonized lens of devotionsays effort is suffering.
When effort is what gives youthe beautiful outcome of
(07:53):
relationships, love, nurturing,it gives you the outcomes of the
values that you embody.
Once devotion gets mislabeled assuffering, you lose access to
the pride and honor that yougive to the family, that you
bring to your society.
It washes away your effort intonothing and makes your effort
sound meaningless.
(08:13):
So reclaim devotion fromcolonization that will help you
retrieve your own interpretationof your life.
There's going to be aninterpretation that the
worldview gives you, and thatworldview doesn't understand
your emotional architecture, andthere is an interpretation that
you have available to you howyou define your own devotion.
(08:34):
And this is where you're goingto start to reclaim your agency.
When you recognize yourself as adevoted woman, you immediately
put your choice back into theplaces that were otherwise
looking like inescapableobligations.
Obligations say I have to stay.
Devotion says I am choosing tostay.
(08:56):
It's the same action, the sameroutines, the same
responsibilities, but they feelcompletely different because
there's a different mental load.
The emotional framework isdifferent.
It's like when you say I have totake care of my home, your body
will feel burdened, versus whenyou say I choose to take care of
my home because I'm devoted tothe life I'm building, your body
(09:19):
will feel purposeful andenergized and lighter at the
same time.
Devotion as I want you guys tosee it is what gives you the
internal authority toreinterpret your life through
the lens of meaning instead ofcompulsion.
And once you understand thatyour devotion is a chosen
emotional power, you willfinally get to see why everyone
(09:43):
around you depends on it.
Your devotion is an absolutecommodity.
Your employer, your business,your family, your religion
depends on your devotion.
It depends on your consistency,your reliability, your
willingness and agreement toshow up with excellence in
Hassan.
(10:04):
Your husband depends on yourdevotion for emotional
intelligence that you bring, theway you handle conflict, the way
you keep the home regulated.
Your children rely on yourdevotion for their stability,
their identity, their sense ofbeing held in the world.
Your parents, your extendedfamily, your masjid, all of the
(10:24):
people in your life depend onyour devotion as a currency to
sustain themselves.
And connection is the naturalproduct of this level of
emotional labor of devotion.
When you subconsciously believethat your devotion is a burden
under the unrecognized beliefsof colonization, then you don't
get to find out how valuableyour devotion actually is, and
(10:48):
you don't protect it.
You overgive, you overfunction.
You let people take it as adefault setting instead of the
profound gift it is.
This awareness alone is a strongboundary.
When you understand that yourdevotion is a resource, not an
obligation, you begin toallocate it very intentionally,
(11:09):
and you stop pouring it intopeople who don't honor it.
You stop letting other peopletreat it as a bottomless supply.
You start to give your devotionto places where it actually
elevates your life.
Recognizing that your devotionis a commodity does not make you
less loving.
It makes you wiser about whereyou pour your heart.
(11:31):
Interdependence in relationshipsis the most beautiful outcomes
of devotion.
It means your life is connectedto others in ways that create
support and shared meaning, andthis is a healthy
interdependence.
Devotion naturally feeds thisecosystem of give and take, but
when you allow your devotion tobe taken for granted because you
(11:54):
don't value it because you'vebeen believing the colonized
version of devotion, that's whenyou fall into the trap of
enmeshment.
That's when you lose allpersonal boundaries where your
responsibility ends and someoneelse's responsibility begins.
So what I want to be clear aboutis in your choice of devotion,
you don't choose enmeshment ifyou're coming from an empowered
(12:18):
definition of devotion.
Enmeshment and devotion aredefinitely not the same thing.
The real definition of devotionis extremely powerful.
It's love, loyalty, enthusiasmfor a person, activity, or a
cause, and it is your choice.
And through that choice,devotion becomes an emotion that
(12:38):
produces a large amount ofenergy in you, that creates
aligned action.
Muslim women excel in theirdevotion, but they don't
recognize it as a power.
Every Muslim woman feels deeplyresponsible for how she shows up
for family, work, and hercommitments, but she rarely
celebrates it as a strength.
(13:01):
Devotion is only a highvibrational energetic emotion if
it does not cross over into selfabandonment.
I describe devotion asenergizing only if you're
devoted to yourself as well.
Devotion does not mean that youdon't set any personal goals or
you don't rest or you are onlyabout a hundred percent self
(13:22):
sacrifice.
A frame of healthy balance isfifty percent devotion to
yourself and fifty percentdevotion to the world.
So I said it just now and I'mgonna say it again.
Muslim women excel in theirdevotion, but they do not
recognize it as a strength.
Also partially because theythink devotion is only external
(13:43):
and always to be given outwards.
But when you apply the sameframework of devotion that
you've been applying externallyand you start to apply it
internally, devotion is anabsolute unshatterable power.
Through this level of devotion,you're gonna stay committed
through difficulty, throughdiscomfort, through uncertainty,
(14:03):
and your survival-based nervoussystem is gonna want to tell you
that you're trapped, but you'redevoted through this long-term
cause because you care, becauseyou've chosen.
So if you've been taught todownplay this quality and you
don't recognize your devotion asa strength, then it's time you
internalize the message in thispodcast and start to recognize
(14:24):
how strong of a power devotionactually is.
Under the colonized definitionof devotion, this power is going
to be invisible to you evenwhile everyone around you is
going to be benefiting from it.
The colonized interpretationsplits your devotion from
yourself.
You love showing up, but youfeel guilty for loving it.
(14:44):
You value your family, but youfeel embarrassed for valuing it.
You want to nurture, but you areafraid that you're going to be
labeled as a trad wife.
You want connection, but youworry that you're going to lose
your independence.
So you live in this mental tugof war.
Your highest values want to findmeaning in devotion, but your
(15:05):
primal mind that is conditionedby external narratives will keep
labeling it as weakness.
This is why so many Muslim womenfeel absolutely exhausted in
their commitments, because theyare doing the hard work of
commitment to a relationship anda cause that it requires, and
they're fighting the endlessmental tug of war.
(15:26):
The mental burden does not comefrom showing up and doing the
hard work.
It comes from believing thatshowing up means that you're not
free.
Reclaiming your devotion as yourchoice is your only path to
spiritual and psychologicalhealing, especially since you're
already devoted to so manycauses in your life.
Reclaiming devotion the way itwas meant for you as a
(15:48):
successful Muslim woman is oneof the fastest ways to regulate
your nervous system and reclaimyour spiritual authority.
In that case, devotion becomes asignal to your body that you're
living in accordance to yourvalues.
That way you can stop livingfrom survival.
This reclaimed definition ofdevotion gives you an immense
(16:10):
sense of freedom, becausefreedom is not defined by the
absence of responsibility.
It is defined by your ability tochoose the responsibilities that
matter to you.
And most importantly, above all,reclaiming devotion returns you
to your spiritual authority.
Devotion is an act of your bada,your worship, the level of
(16:32):
sincerity and the alignment youbring that has been Allah's
design of your soul for you.
When you choose this devotion,you're choosing to center your
values instead of externalnoise.
Protecting your devotion is oneof the most important skills you
can learn as a Muslim woman.
And it begins with boundariesand self devotion rituals.
(16:53):
Devotion is powerful, but it isnot infinite.
It has to be protected,allocated wisely.
And this is what we learn insidemy coaching program.
We treat devotion as a valuablecurrency, something that is
sacred and not being handed outrecklessly.
And boundaries are the gatesthat guard this sacred trust.
When you set boundaries, you'renot withdrawing love, you are
(17:18):
preserving the integrity of yourdevotion.
A boundary simply says I choosewhere my energy goes and I
choose the rhythm of my giving.
I choose the terms on which Ishow up.
Because without boundaries, yourdevotion is gonna leak.
Remember, this is valuablecurrency.
You don't want it leaking, youwant to preserve it.
(17:38):
And as I've already described,self devotion is another aspect
that is supremely importanthere.
Because devotion to otherscannot be healthy unless
devotion to the self isestablished first.
And this is what we practiceinside my program.
Women learning strategies thatanchor their nervous system into
reconnecting to themselves intheir own devotion.
(18:02):
When a woman practices thislevel of self-devotion, she
knows where her limits are.
She recognizes when her devotionis becoming self-abandonment and
she quickly adjusts.
And inside my coaching program,this is a lived practice,
something that we do every day.
Women learn to hold devotion andboundaries as a pair, not as
(18:26):
opposites that are competingwith each other.
If devotion is the emotionalpower that gives your life
purpose, boundaries is the powerthat give your devotion
structure.
Devotion gives your relationshipmeaning and integrity.
Boundaries give yourrelationships balance.
They both go hand in hand.
(18:47):
A woman who protects herdevotion becomes unstoppable.
With that I pray to Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala, Yallah,
return me to the devotion thatis mine by design.
Anchor my heart in what youlove.
Protect my energy from beingmisused.
Give me the wisdom to choosewhere I pour my devotion and the
(19:10):
strength to honor myself as Ihonor others.
Yallah, fill my life withintentional devotion that
regulates me and draws me closerto you.
Make my devotion a source ofspiritual authority and
uplifting.
Amin Ya Rabul Alameen.
Please keep me in your du'az.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
Welcome to Islamic Life Code School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Donald Abdur.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today I'm gonna be talking aboutthe topic of devotion.
And this has been on my mind fora long, long, long time, and I'm
surprised it's just making itinto a podcast topic now.
But here we are.
I think the language and theconcepts I'm about to give you
around devotion are absolutelylife-changing, so be prepared.
(00:38):
The first order of business isjust a simple, plain Google
definition of devotion.
It's defined as love, loyalty,enthusiasm for a person,
activity, or a cause.
To me, devotion is a highvibration emotion.
It is a commitment born fromlove, loyalty, sincerity, and
above all it's born fromconscious choice.
(01:00):
So for me, I define devotion asboth an internal state of
emotion and a behavior.
You feel devoted and dedicatedto a cause and you act devoted
to that cause.
Both an inner state and abehavior.
Devotion means both.
So as an inner state, it's yourpurpose, your direction, your
(01:21):
meaning, your intention.
It is a high energy state that'sfelt in the body that activates
your nervous system into action,steadiness.
It gives you consistency and itgives you purpose.
It is a chosen form ofrelational and personal loyalty
that elevates your life.
Now the unfortunate state ofevents is that the colonized
(01:44):
form of devotion looks likeweakness for a Muslim woman.
Most of your negativeinternalized beliefs about
devotion come fromhyperindividualism and toxic
feminism of the West.
All of that says that devotionas it relates to being loyal to
your marriage, to your kids, toyour deen, to your community, it
(02:06):
says that somehow that devotionproves that you're oppressed or
incapable of independentthought.
Like a woman enjoying thefreedom of choice would never
choose to have obligationstowards her family, which is
obviously not the case.
What I want to tell you is thatyour devotion is a choice, and
you're making it on a dailybasis, and that it's the most
(02:29):
powerful, expensive, high demandcurrency in the world.
And it's entirely possible thateveryone else around you knows
that except you.
Your devotion is what employersbuild companies on.
Your family survives because ofit.
Men marry you for it, and it'sentirely possible that you're
walking around subconsciouslybelieving that it's some sort of
(02:51):
a tragic burden because itcauses a lot of mental and
emotional pain.
So what I'm here to do is toexpose to you how your devotion
got colonized.
How if you're feeling burdenedby your obligations, it might be
because you've absorbed the liethat obligation being same as
devotion, you don't have achoice in it.
(03:11):
Obligation overall is somethingthat you're entrapped by, that
your nervous system goes intosurvival mode around, and your
devotion is something youchoose.
And the moment you see thatdifference, your entire life
immediately starts to feellighter.
You might have had a tendency toconfuse devotion with
obligation, but there isabsolutely a need to
(03:32):
differentiate between the twobecause one implies choice and
the other one doesn't.
Devotion is intentional,energized, it's chosen.
Obligation is forced.
And yet somewhere along the way,especially for Muslim women,
devotion was repackaged as aburden.
All of your acts of loyalty,cooking, caregiving, praying,
(03:53):
showing up, constantly trying,became something that you have
to do instead of something thatyou're choosing to do.
Because of this colonized lens,you stop seeing the strength
behind the devotion.
The world is benefiting fromyour devotion while you're
labeling it as oppression.
You're doing the hard work andhanding away the credit by
(04:17):
calling it pressure.
Devotion is your power, andreclaiming that power begins
with the understanding that youalways have agency of who or
what you choose to devoteyourself to.
Somewhere along the lines ofintellectual colonization,
devotion was rebranded assomething inferior to
(04:37):
independence.
As if loyalty, faithfulness, andconsistency are somehow signs of
your weakness, when they'reactually signs of incredible
emotional intelligence.
Western thought teaches you thatreal power looks like radical
individualism and totaldetachment.
Doing everything for yourself sothat the moment you as a Muslim
(05:00):
woman show devotion to anythingin your life, your husband, your
religion, your family, it getsinterpreted as a lack of freedom
instead of presence of purpose.
That's what devotion is, yourpurpose, if you choose to accept
it like that.
So if you think about it likethis, devotion is a high
currency emotion that sustainslong-term relationships that
(05:24):
hyperindependence can't do.
If you have internalized theidea that devotion equals
weakness on a subconsciouslevel, you will be mistrusting
that very part of you that isresponsible for your deepest
strength.
You'll start to shame yourselffor qualities that make your
life meaningful.
And that is exactly howcolonization works, by making
(05:46):
you doubt the brilliance of yourown emotional architecture.
Sometimes colonization alsoworks by taking your land and
your resources, but here I'mtalking about intellectual
colonization.
Devotion is one of the highestvibrational emotional states a
human being can access.
It moves you, it gives youstamina, it gives you direction,
(06:07):
purpose, internal power, itmakes you get up day after day
and show up for your purpose.
When devotion is chosen, itenergizes you, it organizes your
priorities, it sharpens yourintentions, it creates a strong
sense of meaning that randombursts of motivation can't even
come close to.
(06:28):
This is why the woman whodevotes herself to the purpose
she's chosen is extremelypowerful, purposeful, and
anchored.
The biggest tragedy ofintellectual colonization is
that it teaches women tointerpret their devotion as
suffering.
You could be showing up everyday with sincerity, loyalty,
(06:49):
intention, but instead of seeingit as strength, you label it as
self sacrifice.
Not because that's what itactually is, it can be self
sacrifice, especially when it'sextended really far, but mostly
you're labeling it devotion astoxic self sacrifice because
colonized mind is trained tomistrust anything relational,
(07:11):
anything long term, anythingthat's communal and looks like
commitment.
So when you're staying committedto the people you love, to your
marriage, to your children, toyour Deen, a point comes when
you stop seeing your devotion asa conscious choice and you start
seeing it as stuckness.
You are gonna be waking up earlyto care for your home.
(07:31):
You're going to be makingcontinued dua for healing your
relationships.
You're going to be dedicatingyourself to the people around
you, but you're going to see itas burden, but you're not going
to see it as purpose.
You're going to start seeing allof it as burden.
The colonized lens of devotionsays effort is suffering.
When effort is what gives youthe beautiful outcome of
(07:53):
relationships, love, nurturing,it gives you the outcomes of the
values that you embody.
Once devotion gets mislabeled assuffering, you lose access to
the pride and honor that yougive to the family, that you
bring to your society.
It washes away your effort intonothing and makes your effort
sound meaningless.
(08:13):
So reclaim devotion fromcolonization that will help you
retrieve your own interpretationof your life.
There's going to be aninterpretation that the
worldview gives you, and thatworldview doesn't understand
your emotional architecture, andthere is an interpretation that
you have available to you howyou define your own devotion.
(08:34):
And this is where you're goingto start to reclaim your agency.
When you recognize yourself as adevoted woman, you immediately
put your choice back into theplaces that were otherwise
looking like inescapableobligations.
Obligations say I have to stay.
Devotion says I am choosing tostay.
(08:56):
It's the same action, the sameroutines, the same
responsibilities, but they feelcompletely different because
there's a different mental load.
The emotional framework isdifferent.
It's like when you say I have totake care of my home, your body
will feel burdened, versus whenyou say I choose to take care of
my home because I'm devoted tothe life I'm building, your body
(09:19):
will feel purposeful andenergized and lighter at the
same time.
Devotion as I want you guys tosee it is what gives you the
internal authority toreinterpret your life through
the lens of meaning instead ofcompulsion.
And once you understand thatyour devotion is a chosen
emotional power, you willfinally get to see why everyone
(09:43):
around you depends on it.
Your devotion is an absolutecommodity.
Your employer, your business,your family, your religion
depends on your devotion.
It depends on your consistency,your reliability, your
willingness and agreement toshow up with excellence in
Hassan.
(10:04):
Your husband depends on yourdevotion for emotional
intelligence that you bring, theway you handle conflict, the way
you keep the home regulated.
Your children rely on yourdevotion for their stability,
their identity, their sense ofbeing held in the world.
Your parents, your extendedfamily, your masjid, all of the
(10:24):
people in your life depend onyour devotion as a currency to
sustain themselves.
And connection is the naturalproduct of this level of
emotional labor of devotion.
When you subconsciously believethat your devotion is a burden
under the unrecognized beliefsof colonization, then you don't
get to find out how valuableyour devotion actually is, and
(10:48):
you don't protect it.
You overgive, you overfunction.
You let people take it as adefault setting instead of the
profound gift it is.
This awareness alone is a strongboundary.
When you understand that yourdevotion is a resource, not an
obligation, you begin toallocate it very intentionally,
(11:09):
and you stop pouring it intopeople who don't honor it.
You stop letting other peopletreat it as a bottomless supply.
You start to give your devotionto places where it actually
elevates your life.
Recognizing that your devotionis a commodity does not make you
less loving.
It makes you wiser about whereyou pour your heart.
(11:31):
Interdependence in relationshipsis the most beautiful outcomes
of devotion.
It means your life is connectedto others in ways that create
support and shared meaning, andthis is a healthy
interdependence.
Devotion naturally feeds thisecosystem of give and take, but
when you allow your devotion tobe taken for granted because you
(11:54):
don't value it because you'vebeen believing the colonized
version of devotion, that's whenyou fall into the trap of
enmeshment.
That's when you lose allpersonal boundaries where your
responsibility ends and someoneelse's responsibility begins.
So what I want to be clear aboutis in your choice of devotion,
you don't choose enmeshment ifyou're coming from an empowered
(12:18):
definition of devotion.
Enmeshment and devotion aredefinitely not the same thing.
The real definition of devotionis extremely powerful.
It's love, loyalty, enthusiasmfor a person, activity, or a
cause, and it is your choice.
And through that choice,devotion becomes an emotion that
(12:38):
produces a large amount ofenergy in you, that creates
aligned action.
Muslim women excel in theirdevotion, but they don't
recognize it as a power.
Every Muslim woman feels deeplyresponsible for how she shows up
for family, work, and hercommitments, but she rarely
celebrates it as a strength.
(13:01):
Devotion is only a highvibrational energetic emotion if
it does not cross over into selfabandonment.
I describe devotion asenergizing only if you're
devoted to yourself as well.
Devotion does not mean that youdon't set any personal goals or
you don't rest or you are onlyabout a hundred percent self
(13:22):
sacrifice.
A frame of healthy balance isfifty percent devotion to
yourself and fifty percentdevotion to the world.
So I said it just now and I'mgonna say it again.
Muslim women excel in theirdevotion, but they do not
recognize it as a strength.
Also partially because theythink devotion is only external
(13:43):
and always to be given outwards.
But when you apply the sameframework of devotion that
you've been applying externallyand you start to apply it
internally, devotion is anabsolute unshatterable power.
Through this level of devotion,you're gonna stay committed
through difficulty, throughdiscomfort, through uncertainty,
(14:03):
and your survival-based nervoussystem is gonna want to tell you
that you're trapped, but you'redevoted through this long-term
cause because you care, becauseyou've chosen.
So if you've been taught todownplay this quality and you
don't recognize your devotion asa strength, then it's time you
internalize the message in thispodcast and start to recognize
(14:24):
how strong of a power devotionactually is.
Under the colonized definitionof devotion, this power is going
to be invisible to you evenwhile everyone around you is
going to be benefiting from it.
The colonized interpretationsplits your devotion from
yourself.
You love showing up, but youfeel guilty for loving it.
(14:44):
You value your family, but youfeel embarrassed for valuing it.
You want to nurture, but you areafraid that you're going to be
labeled as a trad wife.
You want connection, but youworry that you're going to lose
your independence.
So you live in this mental tugof war.
Your highest values want to findmeaning in devotion, but your
(15:05):
primal mind that is conditionedby external narratives will keep
labeling it as weakness.
This is why so many Muslim womenfeel absolutely exhausted in
their commitments, because theyare doing the hard work of
commitment to a relationship anda cause that it requires, and
they're fighting the endlessmental tug of war.
(15:26):
The mental burden does not comefrom showing up and doing the
hard work.
It comes from believing thatshowing up means that you're not
free.
Reclaiming your devotion as yourchoice is your only path to
spiritual and psychologicalhealing, especially since you're
already devoted to so manycauses in your life.
Reclaiming devotion the way itwas meant for you as a
(15:48):
successful Muslim woman is oneof the fastest ways to regulate
your nervous system and reclaimyour spiritual authority.
In that case, devotion becomes asignal to your body that you're
living in accordance to yourvalues.
That way you can stop livingfrom survival.
This reclaimed definition ofdevotion gives you an immense
(16:10):
sense of freedom, becausefreedom is not defined by the
absence of responsibility.
It is defined by your ability tochoose the responsibilities that
matter to you.
And most importantly, above all,reclaiming devotion returns you
to your spiritual authority.
Devotion is an act of your bada,your worship, the level of
(16:32):
sincerity and the alignment youbring that has been Allah's
design of your soul for you.
When you choose this devotion,you're choosing to center your
values instead of externalnoise.
Protecting your devotion is oneof the most important skills you
can learn as a Muslim woman.
And it begins with boundariesand self devotion rituals.
(16:53):
Devotion is powerful, but it isnot infinite.
It has to be protected,allocated wisely.
And this is what we learn insidemy coaching program.
We treat devotion as a valuablecurrency, something that is
sacred and not being handed outrecklessly.
And boundaries are the gatesthat guard this sacred trust.
When you set boundaries, you'renot withdrawing love, you are
(17:18):
preserving the integrity of yourdevotion.
A boundary simply says I choosewhere my energy goes and I
choose the rhythm of my giving.
I choose the terms on which Ishow up.
Because without boundaries, yourdevotion is gonna leak.
Remember, this is valuablecurrency.
You don't want it leaking, youwant to preserve it.
(17:38):
And as I've already described,self devotion is another aspect
that is supremely importanthere.
Because devotion to otherscannot be healthy unless
devotion to the self isestablished first.
And this is what we practiceinside my program.
Women learning strategies thatanchor their nervous system into
reconnecting to themselves intheir own devotion.
(18:02):
When a woman practices thislevel of self-devotion, she
knows where her limits are.
She recognizes when her devotionis becoming self-abandonment and
she quickly adjusts.
And inside my coaching program,this is a lived practice,
something that we do every day.
Women learn to hold devotion andboundaries as a pair, not as
(18:26):
opposites that are competingwith each other.
If devotion is the emotionalpower that gives your life
purpose, boundaries is the powerthat give your devotion
structure.
Devotion gives your relationshipmeaning and integrity.
Boundaries give yourrelationships balance.
They both go hand in hand.
(18:47):
A woman who protects herdevotion becomes unstoppable.
With that I pray to Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala, Yallah,
return me to the devotion thatis mine by design.
Anchor my heart in what youlove.
Protect my energy from beingmisused.
Give me the wisdom to choosewhere I pour my devotion and the
(19:10):
strength to honor myself as Ihonor others.
Yallah, fill my life withintentional devotion that
regulates me and draws me closerto you.
Make my devotion a source ofspiritual authority and
uplifting.
Amin Ya Rabul Alameen.
Please keep me in your du'az.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
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