February 25, 2025 • 22 mins
“What if the deepest truths you believe about yourself… aren’t actually true?”
Your reality isn’t shaped by conscious choices, t’s shaped by imprints. The beliefs you hold about love, money, confidence, and success aren’t objective truths. They’re just thoughts that have been repeated so many times, with enough emotion and reinforcement, that they no longer feel like thoughts… they feel like facts.
In this episode, we unravel the power of psychological imprinting:
- How your subconscious mind collects “evidence” to turn thoughts into hardwired beliefs
- Why you feel stuck in patterns that seem impossible to break
- How imprints shape your relationships, self-worth, and financial reality
- The hidden ways cultural conditioning has influenced your decisions
- How to reprogram your mind and rewrite the imprints that keep you trapped
If you’ve ever felt like you’re “just not that kind of person” or that certain things are simply true for you—this episode will challenge everything you think you know.
You'll learn in this deposits:
The Neuroscience of Change: How to Rewire an Imprint
- Spot it – Identify the belief that feels “true.”
- Question it – Where did this come from? Who told you this?
- Interrupt the loop – Say something new to yourself.
- Live the new reality – Embody the opposite belief in small ways.
Your brain is malleable. It wants to change. The same way an imprint was formed is the same way it can be undone, with repetition, emotion, and new experiences.
Your mind only works to prove what you already believe.
Let’s rewrite your story, together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, dr Kamal Aftar.
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today, we're going to be talkingabout imprints, so as Google
would describe it in psychology.
Going to be talking aboutimprints, so as Google would
(00:27):
describe it in psychology.
Imprinting refers to a rapidlearning process that occurs
during a critical period earlyin life.
Either an animal or a persondevelops a strong preference or
an attachment to the firstobject or stimulus they
encounter.
I want to take this definitionto the next level, something
that helps me describe asituation that happens in an
adult's life.
Imprints, as an adult, arebeliefs that are etched into you
(00:50):
over time by your family,societies, personal experiences
and mostly by yourself, and I'mgoing to give you more details
about why I'm describing it likethis.
Imprints are basically inherenttruths that we've started to
believe about ourselves, aboutthe world, and then we think
that these truths are the law,when they're not.
(01:12):
Some of the deepest truths youbelieve about yourself, who you
are, what you're capable of,what's possible for you, how the
world is like, aren't actuallytrue.
They are just thoughts, verywell repeated thoughts.
The way it works is that we'reconstantly imprinting ideas onto
our subconscious, reinforcingstories about who we are, what
(01:35):
we deserve.
We think that we're living lifebased on reality, but we're
actually living our life basedon our imprints, things that
we've believed to be true now.
And the thing is that someimprints are incredibly powerful
, extremely helpful.
They serve us, they make usstronger, they guide us towards
(01:55):
faith, purpose, love, success.
But others, they are the reasonyou feel stuck, the reason you
feel like you're not attractedto your husband anymore, or the
reason you keep telling yourselfI'm not that kind of a person
who can do that.
These are subconscious truthsthat you've hypnotized yourself
into believing.
(02:17):
The reason why this is a problemand why it should matter to you
is that a limiting imprint isdangerous, because when you
believe something as absolutetruth, you stop looking for a
way out, you stop questioning it, you accept limitations that
were never meant to be yours inthe first place.
Like I'm just not good at math,I'm not good with money, I
(02:38):
can't handle stress well.
Love fades away after a while.
Life is difficult.
So for you to pause andquestion is this really true?
It's going to ask you to startquestioning your imprints, these
psychological imprints that areongoing in your adulthood.
They're unknowingly shapingyour reality and all you have to
(03:02):
do is reprogram your mind soyou're no longer a prisoner to
these outdated beliefs.
Your imprints are not reality,they're just thoughts, and
thoughts can be changed.
But the difference here is thatimprint, by definition, is a
thought that no longer feelslike a thought.
It feels like the truth.
But an imprint always starts asa thought and, since the brain
(03:27):
is a very efficient machine,subconsciously it starts to
collect evidence for thatthought and eventually turns it
into a belief that then startsto seem like a fact.
When a thought in yoursubconscious is repeated over
and over again, it becomes animprint and then it starts to
feel like it's hardwired,genetic, undeniable truth about
(03:49):
you, about your preferences.
This is what's shaping yourfurther perceptions decisions
identity.
If you've been told that you'reshy since your childhood, then
you grow up avoiding eye contactand social settings, not
because you're inherently wiredto do so, not because there's a
genetic code for that, butbecause that identity has been
(04:11):
imprinted onto you so deeplythat it feels like an
unchangeable part of who you are.
If your child overhears youtalking about her as shy, then
in her mind she's going toautomatically go into the mode
of collecting evidence for thatbelief and then that will be
imprinted onto her.
There is a role of natureversus nurture, and this is not
(04:35):
to blame you as a mother forcreating an imprint on the child
.
Human beings of all differentages collect sources of imprints
from all different places inthe world.
But I'm giving this example toidentify that.
If you are somebody, or if youhave a daughter who is somebody,
who grew up with this imprintand now you walk with a slumped
(04:55):
posture and you're unable tospeak up in meetings and you
think you're unconfident andbecause of that you lose
opportunities, it is not yourgenetic makeup.
It's been an imprint that'sgoing on undetected for a very
long time and that's what'sharming your goals.
Imprints are sort of formed in alinear process.
(05:15):
They start at simple thoughts,become reinforced through
repetition and then theysolidify into a subconscious
belief system.
Repetition and then theysolidify into a subconscious
belief system.
If as a child you heard moneyis hard to come by and as an
adult you're having a hard timeearning money, that's a direct
result of an imprint A lot ofcultural beliefs, especially
(05:38):
around colonized Muslimcountries, have these limited
money mindsets.
The most mind-blowing part ofall of this is that financial
struggles are created by thesubconscious mind and when it
collects evidence of the imprintthat money is hard to earn or
money is hard to find.
Do you think anybody who becamewealthy that did not come from
(06:01):
money continued to believe thethought that money is hard to
come by?
That did not come from moneycontinued to believe the thought
that money is hard to come by?
Of course the answer is no.
Once a belief reaches a stageof an imprint, it stops feeling
optional and you will movethrough the world assuming that
money will always be difficultto earn, making the choices that
(06:21):
will reinforce that struggle,never taking financial risks,
undervaluing your own skill oravoiding wealth-building
opportunities.
Your mind will only work toprove what you already believe
to be true, and what juststarted as a thought will now
(06:44):
shape your entire reality.
If a thought absolutely feelstrue in your entire body, with
every fiber of your being,you're dealing with an imprint.
Imprint is the natural outcomeof prolonged conditioning.
This is the end point ofself-hypnosis that you're
naturally constantly engaging in.
That's why I wanted to expandthe definition of imprints to
(07:05):
include an adult's experience,because it's not just childhood
experiences that are leaving amark.
You are constantly,continuously engraving your own
minds with thoughts and everytime you repeat a thought or a
version of that thought, itbecomes a little bit more
believable to you Meaning you'rerecruiting a little bit more of
(07:25):
your brain's content and yourinherent emotional response as a
result of it.
You're recruiting more of yourmind and your body towards that
thought and now you're in aconstant emotional loop that, of
course, eventually becomes yourtruth, which is not the truth,
not the truth with a capital T,but it's a truth, your truth,
(07:48):
your felt truth.
And I've told you guys multipletimes, just because it's your
subjective truth does not meanit's any less important than the
ultimate truth.
It's just that your subjectivetruth is changeable if you allow
it, but the ultimate truth, thebig truth, is unchangeable.
(08:08):
It always remains unchangeable.
So if you think to yourself andkeep telling yourself I'm just
not attracted to my husbandanymore, that thought alone over
time imprints itself as anundeniable truth.
So for anybody to start workingon this thought, either a coach
or a therapist who comes alongand says but that's just your
(08:32):
thought, you can just change it,saying that is not taking into
account the baggage ofimprinting that you're already
carrying.
That has to be undone,depending how much evidence
you've gathered towards thistruth.
That's what will determine howeasily or not easily you're able
to rewire it, or if you're ableto rewire it at all.
(08:54):
But if it is the truth that'snot helping you, then it's in
your favor to try and rewire it.
Imprinting is how we create ourpersonal reality.
You think you're responding tolife as is, but really you're
mostly responding to yourimprints.
Your preference of differentcuisines, of what you find
(09:15):
physically attractive all ofthese are not inherent, fixed
traits, they're imprints.
What you're preferring rightnow has been imprinted onto you
through years of exposure,experiences, subconscious
conditioning, the movies youwatch, the compliments you heard
growing up and the way yourculture idealized certain
(09:37):
features All of it shapes whatyou believe, quote-unquote,
attractive is.
And since your brain is wiredto seek patterns, it
continuously reinforces thatimprint, making you believe your
preferences are natural ratherthan learned.
But attraction as a feature isfluid.
It can change, expand, evolveover time.
(10:00):
Your preference for cozy socks,warm weather over cold weather,
the way you feel about travelall of them are imprints.
They're mental associationsshaped by repeated experiences
and emotional reinforcements.
If you grew up in a home wherewinter meant cold feet, heavy
blankets and you feel likeyou're stuck indoors, you have
(10:23):
imprinted upon you thediscomfort of cold weather.
But if, on the other hand, youspent childhood with winter,
sipping hot chocolate, playingin the snow, creating amazing
memories, your imprint mighttell you that cold weather is
magical.
This is what's now dictatingwhat feels right and what feels
wrong, what's pleasurable andwhat's not.
(10:44):
And the same thing applies tolove.
You love your children becausethe deep imprinting that began
before they were even born, theemotional and biological
conditioning that reinforces,through thousands and thousands
of micro moments, how you'regoing to love them, how you're
going to shower them with yourlove, these are the imprints
that might be aligned with yourvalues as a parent, and they are
(11:07):
incredibly powerful.
These are the types of imprintsthat do not need to be rewired.
They shape your reality in away that makes your parenting
life much easier.
It makes it seamless, it makesit intuitive and deeply
connected.
But just as positive imprintsexist.
I've given you multiple examplesof what negative imprints are,
(11:28):
and the key to real freedom isto learn to recognize which
imprints are serving you andwhich ones are keeping you
trapped?
A woman who's always busy andsays I don't have time for
myself.
It's an imprint, not a factbased on the ideas of busyness.
Imprint is an outcome ofrepeated conditioning.
(11:50):
When an opinion stops to feellike an opinion, it is an
imprint.
It starts to feel like a factof life, like that's just how
things are.
I'm bad at public speaking, soif you were to write this down
and put it in a formula, animprint is a thought plus
(12:10):
emotion plus repetition.
That equals a deep subconsciousbelief, and enough of these
beliefs towards the same ideaequals an imprint.
Now, I've been using these twoterms interchangeably deep
subconscious beliefs andimprints but I think imprint is
(12:31):
a nice concise way of describingwhat I'm talking about.
Because if you tell yourselfenough times that I love sunny
days over rainy days, your brainwould gather enough data to
create that reality where youwill feel more happy on sunny
days and you'll find yourself tobe more energetic, more social,
more powerful, more productive,more of anything that fits your
(12:56):
idea of loving a sunny day, andthis, for you, might be a very
well-serving imprint.
So you get to keep it.
But if you tell yourself I'mnot confident enough times, your
brain will believe it and yourbody will respond with anxiety
and hesitation and gatherevidence of the like every time
(13:17):
there is a situation that callsfor you to have even slight bit
of confidence.
The biggest problems in yourlife are related to your
negative imprints, not lifeitself.
Some other examples of damagingimprints might be I'm just not
in love anymore when it comes toyour marriage.
Be I'm just not in love anymorewhen it comes to your marriage.
(13:40):
Versus I've imprinted a beliefthat I've fallen out of love,
which at least gives you achoice of starting to create
love for your spouse.
Again, about money, thedamaging imprint might be I just
don't know how to manage money.
Versus I've absorbed theconditioning that money is
confusing and overwhelming.
The latter gives you a choiceof trying to create a change.
(14:02):
If you wanted to, for the sakeof this podcast and the work
related to it, ask yourselfwhat's something you believe
about yourself that feels 100%true?
And then ask yourself did youalways believe this true?
And then ask yourself did youalways believe this?
What if that wasn't the truthbut just an imprint?
And if you go to enough therapy, think about or you're past
(14:24):
enough you might be able totrace back exactly where your
imprint originated when in yourchildhood either a very specific
date or an incident or ageneral time period where you
might have adopted the initialthought of this imprint.
But recognizing where itoriginated is not as important
as working on rewiring it now.
(14:46):
The origin of a deep-seatedcore belief like that is
important, especially when itcomes to trauma, but you can do
a lot with rewiring it withoutgoing to the past.
One of my imprints that caused alot of damage in my life and I
didn't even recognize it untilmuch later in my coaching
journey had to do with meunderstanding complicated issues
(15:09):
and creating outcomes.
Something that I alwaysbelieved about myself deeply was
that I create complicatedoutcomes, and I highly valued
creating these complicatedoutcomes because I believed
everyone needed them and I heldthat belief with pride.
I thought it was a very goodtalent to have Until I stepped
into a life where I wanted toadopt multiple roles, where I
(15:34):
wanted to perform at a highlevel in each of those roles,
and whenever I continued tocreate complicated solutions for
these complicated problems, thework in my life continued to
pile up, and it built up so muchthat the amount of work was
exponentially higher than theamount of time I had.
I could not keep up with all ofthe roles that I wanted to
(15:56):
perform as a mother, as a wife,as a coach, physician, volunteer
, as a muslima and currently, asan author.
Alhamdulillah, I am in themiddle of writing a book and you
guys will soon find out aboutit, inshallah.
But my imprint that was it'shard to create solutions without
complications.
My imprint that it's hard tocreate simplicity out of
(16:19):
complexity was not serving me.
Create simplicity out ofcomplexity was not serving me.
Not only my imprint told methat I can create highly complex
solutions, it told me that Ican only get there in
complicated ways.
What that meant was if I wasjust to host a party, then I
would over-plan it, over-orderfood, over-decorate, over-cook,
(16:42):
over-do with all of theactivities, and that's what I
would end up calling myselfhaving a high level of
functioning.
And of course, if I traced itback, it goes back to my
childhood.
High level of functioningrequired complexity and it
required for everything to beperfect.
Fast forward to now.
That took a toll on my psyche,on my mental and emotional
(17:05):
well-being.
So my imprint was that acomplicated person could not
think simply.
And since my inner landscapewas complicated, with
hyperactivity of thoughts andsubsequent complex emotional
world, then I was not supposedto be the person who could live
with simplicity.
I could not create a simplesolution in my life and this is
(17:28):
an imprint that I broke.
It took me some time, it took alot of coaching, but now I
create simple solutions insimple ways out of very
complicated situations and,alhamdulillah, I'm able to
perform high in all areas of mylife.
If you believe you have to worktwice as hard to be taken
seriously in the world, it's animprint.
(17:50):
All it will do is prove to youhow hard you have to work,
because your brain will ignoreevidence to the contrary.
Now, even if you've provenyourself with hard work, you
will continue to overwork,overthink and struggle to take
breaks, because the imprint willtell you that slowing down
(18:10):
means falling behind Again.
In this case, all you have todo is to work on rewiring that
imprint.
First, start to recognize itand then start to tell yourself
a different story.
If you believe that you willnever be good enough in your
spirituality, that's an imprint.
If you believe it to be a fact.
If you believe that success indeen and dunya, in religion and
(18:34):
in the world are opposites, thatthey cannot be achieved at the
same time.
This might be an imprint.
Maybe you grew up hearing thatambition is dangerous, that
financial success will lead toarrogance, that truly pious
people only live simply withoutany wealth.
Over time, this becomes asubconscious imprint and that's
(18:57):
what will make you hesitate topursue any success because it
will quote-unquote feelun-Islamic, even when you know
that many of the wealthiestsahaba, who were the most
generous and were the most pious, or negative imprint in your
life.
As a mother who wants to studyand be financially independent
(19:18):
but thinks she can't do thatbecause your primary identity as
a woman is tied to yourmotherhood, your belief that
financial independence isselfish Imprint.
Maybe you were taught that thehusband's role is to provide and
the wife's role is to receive,and if you out earn your husband
, that's disrespectful.
But what if these were allimprints?
(19:39):
And what if your financialindependence had nothing to do
with rejecting anyone, but ithad to do with securing yourself
?
The hardest part of breaking animprint is recognizing that it's
not a fact.
It's a thought you've beenrepeating until it started to
feel like your truth.
And the moment you question it,the moment you ask yourself
(20:02):
truth.
And the moment you question it,the moment you ask yourself
what if this isn't reality, whatif this is conditioning, you
create the first crack in itsfoundation and from there,
everything can change.
How used to believe that you'rea complicated person and
couldn't think simply to how younow lead your life in the most
simplistic fashion possible, andyour brain offers you evidence
(20:26):
for exactly that.
Easiest way to get started isspot it.
Name the belief that feels likea truth, question it.
Who told you this?
Why do you believe it?
Where did it start from?
Who would you be without thisbelief?
Interrupt the loop.
Say something new to yourself,embody a different reality, live
(20:47):
as if a new belief is also true, slightly different than before
.
If your imprints are harming you, I'm gonna say you have every
right.
Actually, I'm gonna say youhave every obligation to rewire
them.
You are not stuck.
You're hypnotized by your mind,and now you have a choice to
wake up.
Inshallah, I pray this episodewere powerful enough for you to
(21:09):
question everything that youassume to be true.
With that, I pray to Allah.
Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Ya Allah, you're the turner ofhearts, the one who guides us to
truth and wisdom.
I ask you to grant me and allof us the clarity to recognize
the imprints that no longerserve us, the courage to rewrite
them and the strength to stepinto the reality that you
(21:32):
created for me.
Ya Allah, let my thoughts alignwith your guidance, my beliefs
with your mercy and my actionswith my highest potential.
Remove from me any conditioningthat keeps me small, the fear
that keeps me stuck and anythoughts that keep me away from
(21:52):
the life that I am meant to live.
Ya Allah, make my heart open tochange, my mind open to growth
and my soul open to becoming theperson you intended me to be.
Ameen, ya Rabbul Ameen, pleasekeep me in your du'as.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, dr Kamal Aftar.
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today, we're going to be talkingabout imprints, so as Google
would describe it in psychology.
Going to be talking aboutimprints, so as Google would
(00:27):
describe it in psychology.
Imprinting refers to a rapidlearning process that occurs
during a critical period earlyin life.
Either an animal or a persondevelops a strong preference or
an attachment to the firstobject or stimulus they
encounter.
I want to take this definitionto the next level, something
that helps me describe asituation that happens in an
adult's life.
Imprints, as an adult, arebeliefs that are etched into you
(00:50):
over time by your family,societies, personal experiences
and mostly by yourself, and I'mgoing to give you more details
about why I'm describing it likethis.
Imprints are basically inherenttruths that we've started to
believe about ourselves, aboutthe world, and then we think
that these truths are the law,when they're not.
(01:12):
Some of the deepest truths youbelieve about yourself, who you
are, what you're capable of,what's possible for you, how the
world is like, aren't actuallytrue.
They are just thoughts, verywell repeated thoughts.
The way it works is that we'reconstantly imprinting ideas onto
our subconscious, reinforcingstories about who we are, what
(01:35):
we deserve.
We think that we're living lifebased on reality, but we're
actually living our life basedon our imprints, things that
we've believed to be true now.
And the thing is that someimprints are incredibly powerful
, extremely helpful.
They serve us, they make usstronger, they guide us towards
(01:55):
faith, purpose, love, success.
But others, they are the reasonyou feel stuck, the reason you
feel like you're not attractedto your husband anymore, or the
reason you keep telling yourselfI'm not that kind of a person
who can do that.
These are subconscious truthsthat you've hypnotized yourself
into believing.
(02:17):
The reason why this is a problemand why it should matter to you
is that a limiting imprint isdangerous, because when you
believe something as absolutetruth, you stop looking for a
way out, you stop questioning it, you accept limitations that
were never meant to be yours inthe first place.
Like I'm just not good at math,I'm not good with money, I
(02:38):
can't handle stress well.
Love fades away after a while.
Life is difficult.
So for you to pause andquestion is this really true?
It's going to ask you to startquestioning your imprints, these
psychological imprints that areongoing in your adulthood.
They're unknowingly shapingyour reality and all you have to
(03:02):
do is reprogram your mind soyou're no longer a prisoner to
these outdated beliefs.
Your imprints are not reality,they're just thoughts, and
thoughts can be changed.
But the difference here is thatimprint, by definition, is a
thought that no longer feelslike a thought.
It feels like the truth.
But an imprint always starts asa thought and, since the brain
(03:27):
is a very efficient machine,subconsciously it starts to
collect evidence for thatthought and eventually turns it
into a belief that then startsto seem like a fact.
When a thought in yoursubconscious is repeated over
and over again, it becomes animprint and then it starts to
feel like it's hardwired,genetic, undeniable truth about
(03:49):
you, about your preferences.
This is what's shaping yourfurther perceptions decisions
identity.
If you've been told that you'reshy since your childhood, then
you grow up avoiding eye contactand social settings, not
because you're inherently wiredto do so, not because there's a
genetic code for that, butbecause that identity has been
(04:11):
imprinted onto you so deeplythat it feels like an
unchangeable part of who you are.
If your child overhears youtalking about her as shy, then
in her mind she's going toautomatically go into the mode
of collecting evidence for thatbelief and then that will be
imprinted onto her.
There is a role of natureversus nurture, and this is not
(04:35):
to blame you as a mother forcreating an imprint on the child
.
Human beings of all differentages collect sources of imprints
from all different places inthe world.
But I'm giving this example toidentify that.
If you are somebody, or if youhave a daughter who is somebody,
who grew up with this imprintand now you walk with a slumped
(04:55):
posture and you're unable tospeak up in meetings and you
think you're unconfident andbecause of that you lose
opportunities, it is not yourgenetic makeup.
It's been an imprint that'sgoing on undetected for a very
long time and that's what'sharming your goals.
Imprints are sort of formed in alinear process.
(05:15):
They start at simple thoughts,become reinforced through
repetition and then theysolidify into a subconscious
belief system.
Repetition and then theysolidify into a subconscious
belief system.
If as a child you heard moneyis hard to come by and as an
adult you're having a hard timeearning money, that's a direct
result of an imprint A lot ofcultural beliefs, especially
(05:38):
around colonized Muslimcountries, have these limited
money mindsets.
The most mind-blowing part ofall of this is that financial
struggles are created by thesubconscious mind and when it
collects evidence of the imprintthat money is hard to earn or
money is hard to find.
Do you think anybody who becamewealthy that did not come from
(06:01):
money continued to believe thethought that money is hard to
come by?
That did not come from moneycontinued to believe the thought
that money is hard to come by?
Of course the answer is no.
Once a belief reaches a stageof an imprint, it stops feeling
optional and you will movethrough the world assuming that
money will always be difficultto earn, making the choices that
(06:21):
will reinforce that struggle,never taking financial risks,
undervaluing your own skill oravoiding wealth-building
opportunities.
Your mind will only work toprove what you already believe
to be true, and what juststarted as a thought will now
(06:44):
shape your entire reality.
If a thought absolutely feelstrue in your entire body, with
every fiber of your being,you're dealing with an imprint.
Imprint is the natural outcomeof prolonged conditioning.
This is the end point ofself-hypnosis that you're
naturally constantly engaging in.
That's why I wanted to expandthe definition of imprints to
(07:05):
include an adult's experience,because it's not just childhood
experiences that are leaving amark.
You are constantly,continuously engraving your own
minds with thoughts and everytime you repeat a thought or a
version of that thought, itbecomes a little bit more
believable to you Meaning you'rerecruiting a little bit more of
(07:25):
your brain's content and yourinherent emotional response as a
result of it.
You're recruiting more of yourmind and your body towards that
thought and now you're in aconstant emotional loop that, of
course, eventually becomes yourtruth, which is not the truth,
not the truth with a capital T,but it's a truth, your truth,
(07:48):
your felt truth.
And I've told you guys multipletimes, just because it's your
subjective truth does not meanit's any less important than the
ultimate truth.
It's just that your subjectivetruth is changeable if you allow
it, but the ultimate truth, thebig truth, is unchangeable.
(08:08):
It always remains unchangeable.
So if you think to yourself andkeep telling yourself I'm just
not attracted to my husbandanymore, that thought alone over
time imprints itself as anundeniable truth.
So for anybody to start workingon this thought, either a coach
or a therapist who comes alongand says but that's just your
(08:32):
thought, you can just change it,saying that is not taking into
account the baggage ofimprinting that you're already
carrying.
That has to be undone,depending how much evidence
you've gathered towards thistruth.
That's what will determine howeasily or not easily you're able
to rewire it, or if you're ableto rewire it at all.
(08:54):
But if it is the truth that'snot helping you, then it's in
your favor to try and rewire it.
Imprinting is how we create ourpersonal reality.
You think you're responding tolife as is, but really you're
mostly responding to yourimprints.
Your preference of differentcuisines, of what you find
(09:15):
physically attractive all ofthese are not inherent, fixed
traits, they're imprints.
What you're preferring rightnow has been imprinted onto you
through years of exposure,experiences, subconscious
conditioning, the movies youwatch, the compliments you heard
growing up and the way yourculture idealized certain
(09:37):
features All of it shapes whatyou believe, quote-unquote,
attractive is.
And since your brain is wiredto seek patterns, it
continuously reinforces thatimprint, making you believe your
preferences are natural ratherthan learned.
But attraction as a feature isfluid.
It can change, expand, evolveover time.
(10:00):
Your preference for cozy socks,warm weather over cold weather,
the way you feel about travelall of them are imprints.
They're mental associationsshaped by repeated experiences
and emotional reinforcements.
If you grew up in a home wherewinter meant cold feet, heavy
blankets and you feel likeyou're stuck indoors, you have
(10:23):
imprinted upon you thediscomfort of cold weather.
But if, on the other hand, youspent childhood with winter,
sipping hot chocolate, playingin the snow, creating amazing
memories, your imprint mighttell you that cold weather is
magical.
This is what's now dictatingwhat feels right and what feels
wrong, what's pleasurable andwhat's not.
(10:44):
And the same thing applies tolove.
You love your children becausethe deep imprinting that began
before they were even born, theemotional and biological
conditioning that reinforces,through thousands and thousands
of micro moments, how you'regoing to love them, how you're
going to shower them with yourlove, these are the imprints
that might be aligned with yourvalues as a parent, and they are
(11:07):
incredibly powerful.
These are the types of imprintsthat do not need to be rewired.
They shape your reality in away that makes your parenting
life much easier.
It makes it seamless, it makesit intuitive and deeply
connected.
But just as positive imprintsexist.
I've given you multiple examplesof what negative imprints are,
(11:28):
and the key to real freedom isto learn to recognize which
imprints are serving you andwhich ones are keeping you
trapped?
A woman who's always busy andsays I don't have time for
myself.
It's an imprint, not a factbased on the ideas of busyness.
Imprint is an outcome ofrepeated conditioning.
(11:50):
When an opinion stops to feellike an opinion, it is an
imprint.
It starts to feel like a factof life, like that's just how
things are.
I'm bad at public speaking, soif you were to write this down
and put it in a formula, animprint is a thought plus
(12:10):
emotion plus repetition.
That equals a deep subconsciousbelief, and enough of these
beliefs towards the same ideaequals an imprint.
Now, I've been using these twoterms interchangeably deep
subconscious beliefs andimprints but I think imprint is
(12:31):
a nice concise way of describingwhat I'm talking about.
Because if you tell yourselfenough times that I love sunny
days over rainy days, your brainwould gather enough data to
create that reality where youwill feel more happy on sunny
days and you'll find yourself tobe more energetic, more social,
more powerful, more productive,more of anything that fits your
(12:56):
idea of loving a sunny day, andthis, for you, might be a very
well-serving imprint.
So you get to keep it.
But if you tell yourself I'mnot confident enough times, your
brain will believe it and yourbody will respond with anxiety
and hesitation and gatherevidence of the like every time
(13:17):
there is a situation that callsfor you to have even slight bit
of confidence.
The biggest problems in yourlife are related to your
negative imprints, not lifeitself.
Some other examples of damagingimprints might be I'm just not
in love anymore when it comes toyour marriage.
Be I'm just not in love anymorewhen it comes to your marriage.
(13:40):
Versus I've imprinted a beliefthat I've fallen out of love,
which at least gives you achoice of starting to create
love for your spouse.
Again, about money, thedamaging imprint might be I just
don't know how to manage money.
Versus I've absorbed theconditioning that money is
confusing and overwhelming.
The latter gives you a choiceof trying to create a change.
(14:02):
If you wanted to, for the sakeof this podcast and the work
related to it, ask yourselfwhat's something you believe
about yourself that feels 100%true?
And then ask yourself did youalways believe this true?
And then ask yourself did youalways believe this?
What if that wasn't the truthbut just an imprint?
And if you go to enough therapy, think about or you're past
(14:24):
enough you might be able totrace back exactly where your
imprint originated when in yourchildhood either a very specific
date or an incident or ageneral time period where you
might have adopted the initialthought of this imprint.
But recognizing where itoriginated is not as important
as working on rewiring it now.
(14:46):
The origin of a deep-seatedcore belief like that is
important, especially when itcomes to trauma, but you can do
a lot with rewiring it withoutgoing to the past.
One of my imprints that caused alot of damage in my life and I
didn't even recognize it untilmuch later in my coaching
journey had to do with meunderstanding complicated issues
(15:09):
and creating outcomes.
Something that I alwaysbelieved about myself deeply was
that I create complicatedoutcomes, and I highly valued
creating these complicatedoutcomes because I believed
everyone needed them and I heldthat belief with pride.
I thought it was a very goodtalent to have Until I stepped
into a life where I wanted toadopt multiple roles, where I
(15:34):
wanted to perform at a highlevel in each of those roles,
and whenever I continued tocreate complicated solutions for
these complicated problems, thework in my life continued to
pile up, and it built up so muchthat the amount of work was
exponentially higher than theamount of time I had.
I could not keep up with all ofthe roles that I wanted to
(15:56):
perform as a mother, as a wife,as a coach, physician, volunteer
, as a muslima and currently, asan author.
Alhamdulillah, I am in themiddle of writing a book and you
guys will soon find out aboutit, inshallah.
But my imprint that was it'shard to create solutions without
complications.
My imprint that it's hard tocreate simplicity out of
(16:19):
complexity was not serving me.
Create simplicity out ofcomplexity was not serving me.
Not only my imprint told methat I can create highly complex
solutions, it told me that Ican only get there in
complicated ways.
What that meant was if I wasjust to host a party, then I
would over-plan it, over-orderfood, over-decorate, over-cook,
(16:42):
over-do with all of theactivities, and that's what I
would end up calling myselfhaving a high level of
functioning.
And of course, if I traced itback, it goes back to my
childhood.
High level of functioningrequired complexity and it
required for everything to beperfect.
Fast forward to now.
That took a toll on my psyche,on my mental and emotional
(17:05):
well-being.
So my imprint was that acomplicated person could not
think simply.
And since my inner landscapewas complicated, with
hyperactivity of thoughts andsubsequent complex emotional
world, then I was not supposedto be the person who could live
with simplicity.
I could not create a simplesolution in my life and this is
(17:28):
an imprint that I broke.
It took me some time, it took alot of coaching, but now I
create simple solutions insimple ways out of very
complicated situations and,alhamdulillah, I'm able to
perform high in all areas of mylife.
If you believe you have to worktwice as hard to be taken
seriously in the world, it's animprint.
(17:50):
All it will do is prove to youhow hard you have to work,
because your brain will ignoreevidence to the contrary.
Now, even if you've provenyourself with hard work, you
will continue to overwork,overthink and struggle to take
breaks, because the imprint willtell you that slowing down
(18:10):
means falling behind Again.
In this case, all you have todo is to work on rewiring that
imprint.
First, start to recognize itand then start to tell yourself
a different story.
If you believe that you willnever be good enough in your
spirituality, that's an imprint.
If you believe it to be a fact.
If you believe that success indeen and dunya, in religion and
(18:34):
in the world are opposites, thatthey cannot be achieved at the
same time.
This might be an imprint.
Maybe you grew up hearing thatambition is dangerous, that
financial success will lead toarrogance, that truly pious
people only live simply withoutany wealth.
Over time, this becomes asubconscious imprint and that's
(18:57):
what will make you hesitate topursue any success because it
will quote-unquote feelun-Islamic, even when you know
that many of the wealthiestsahaba, who were the most
generous and were the most pious, or negative imprint in your
life.
As a mother who wants to studyand be financially independent
(19:18):
but thinks she can't do thatbecause your primary identity as
a woman is tied to yourmotherhood, your belief that
financial independence isselfish Imprint.
Maybe you were taught that thehusband's role is to provide and
the wife's role is to receive,and if you out earn your husband
, that's disrespectful.
But what if these were allimprints?
(19:39):
And what if your financialindependence had nothing to do
with rejecting anyone, but ithad to do with securing yourself
?
The hardest part of breaking animprint is recognizing that it's
not a fact.
It's a thought you've beenrepeating until it started to
feel like your truth.
And the moment you question it,the moment you ask yourself
(20:02):
truth.
And the moment you question it,the moment you ask yourself
what if this isn't reality, whatif this is conditioning, you
create the first crack in itsfoundation and from there,
everything can change.
How used to believe that you'rea complicated person and
couldn't think simply to how younow lead your life in the most
simplistic fashion possible, andyour brain offers you evidence
(20:26):
for exactly that.
Easiest way to get started isspot it.
Name the belief that feels likea truth, question it.
Who told you this?
Why do you believe it?
Where did it start from?
Who would you be without thisbelief?
Interrupt the loop.
Say something new to yourself,embody a different reality, live
(20:47):
as if a new belief is also true, slightly different than before
.
If your imprints are harming you, I'm gonna say you have every
right.
Actually, I'm gonna say youhave every obligation to rewire
them.
You are not stuck.
You're hypnotized by your mind,and now you have a choice to
wake up.
Inshallah, I pray this episodewere powerful enough for you to
(21:09):
question everything that youassume to be true.
With that, I pray to Allah.
Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Ya Allah, you're the turner ofhearts, the one who guides us to
truth and wisdom.
I ask you to grant me and allof us the clarity to recognize
the imprints that no longerserve us, the courage to rewrite
them and the strength to stepinto the reality that you
(21:32):
created for me.
Ya Allah, let my thoughts alignwith your guidance, my beliefs
with your mercy and my actionswith my highest potential.
Remove from me any conditioningthat keeps me small, the fear
that keeps me stuck and anythoughts that keep me away from
(21:52):
the life that I am meant to live.
Ya Allah, make my heart open tochange, my mind open to growth
and my soul open to becoming theperson you intended me to be.
Ameen, ya Rabbul Ameen, pleasekeep me in your du'as.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
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