Broad Radio - Stories By Women For Women | 052 - It Has to Be Me

Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:01):
Oh, Joe, I'm so excited to talk to you and be part of the broad radio family now. So thank you so much for bringing me into your world. I'm just so excited that we're connected. I've been a fan for such a long time. So can I just say

Jo Stanley (00:14):
I'm I'm absolutely thrilled too that you're a part of the broad radio family. And you know, I always say, I don't know if you've ever I have a Labrador. And when Labradors meet each other in a park, they recognize, like, for like, right? Yeah, do this little like, their bums go kind of really sort of crazy, and they're just like, you're a Labrador. Oh, Labrador. Get that feeling when you connect with another woman who's like, yes, we're here to uplift. We're here to support. We're here to change the world. Let's do it together,

Unknown (00:46):
feeling that energy right now. We're spirit animals. This is so great. So I want to go back a bit and just trace the evolution of this incredible network that you're creating. So what was your it has to be me moment, you know, as a child where you wanted to be a performer and be part of storytelling. Oh,

Jo Stanley (01:08):
I couldn't say that. I made a conscious decision around that. It has to be me. I just really loved that sense of play that came from, you know, being in front of people and just sort of like exploring other characters. I loved singing. I grew up in a Christian family and in the church, so I loved the hymns. I loved the, you know, Sunday school and all of that, kind of just the joy that comes from feeling music in you. And it just started, I guess, with music and singing and then exploring characters, and always just loved the sense of being on stage, even though I am an introvert, and I'm sure that there are many examples of people who are introverts who actually also love being on the stage. It's an

Unknown (01:54):
introvert. Yeah, there you

Jo Stanley (01:55):
go. I didn't recognize that. Well, can you then explain what it is about the difference between being an introvert and being on stage? Yeah? Well,

Unknown (02:04):
I mean, for me, this is just my, my interpretation of it, but I didn't actually know that I was an introvert until probably the last 10 years, where I realized it's what you recharge as, yeah. So I don't recharge from other people. I very much go into my cocoon. I recharge it that way. And then when I want to come out and be part of story and reveal something, then I use performance as one conduit or connection with others in relationship or through work to do that. So that would be my, my, yeah,

Jo Stanley (02:36):
I mean, I'm most definitely exactly that, like I just for me, my favorite thing is to be at home by myself, literally looking at a window. Me too. Me too. We do that all day, right? However, perhaps, and I love story, exploring people and what make people tick. And I think that's some of the things about performers that really kind of fascinates me. But I love being a clown, like I'm I'm someone for me, I just it is enjoyable to make people laugh and laugh at myself, laugh at the world, and that sense of just going playfully, you know what? There are no boundaries to how stupid and silly we can be, because there's so much we can learn about self and each other in play. I

Unknown (03:16):
love that, yes, exactly, and that sense of play. That is what is so great about performance, is you're encouraged to do that. You have to do that in order to story delight. Actually,

Jo Stanley (03:27):
yeah, literally, do not censor yourself in any way. Go there. Follow impulse. And I think that that's one of the things that's really fascinated me in recent years about myself and about the journey of who I'm becoming as I build broad radio, I say, as I build broad radio, broad radio is building me, because we're all becoming, right. You're never too old to become the person that you are meant to be or want to be. And the notion of play in that, I just find so fascinating, where you just follow the heart of your impulse. And we all have a calling. We all have a heart, a heart voice that is leading us forward, but we silence that constantly. Or we say, Oh no, that's too extreme, or that sounds that's that's insane. What, what, what that voice is telling me is impossible, or I'm going to upset people. Or, you know, it's too big or too hard, and we silence it. And for me, in recent years, broad radio has taught me, Oh, listen to that voice, follow that voice, because you just have no idea where it's going to take you. And it's exciting and it grows you as a person, yes,

Unknown (04:36):
but you had that ability early on. So tell me about how being in a Christian family, you said, and I would imagine that there were certain ideas of what was accepted, or what was kind of going to be the path for you, or whatever. And you decided to go into theater and then go into stand up comedy. So you were listening to that voice. Way back then, I

Jo Stanley (05:01):
don't think I was listening to it. I just couldn't not follow that path, you know, like, I think actually, I felt a lot of, you know, this shame culture in every family, and not intentionally. I don't think not always. I was lucky enough earlier this year to do the two day workshop with Elizabeth Gilbert in Sydney, and she Oh, my God, Tess, I can't

Unknown (05:29):
even was that like chocolate? It

Jo Stanley (05:32):
was like the warmest hug that just stays with you, emotionally and psychologically and in your heart, in your core, like I just feel like I've been lifted. My feet have been lifted higher since then, from all the things I learned and the things that Liz, she's Liz to me now,

(05:54):
the things that Liz said to us and told us and led us to explore within ourselves, and one of the things that she really delved into was shame culture that we largely come it comes from family, friends, work, society, and we all have it to a degree, like in a Christian environment that is in doc indoctrination, right? But I think all families have it, had the totallings and sometimes unintentionally, you know, it's like, oh, you she spoke about that must be nice for you, you know, just to be doing something that's a little bit out of the ordinary. Oh, that must be nice, you know, the sarcasm comments, you know. So for me, within our family, there was definitely an expected path, because my parents were missionaries, my grandparents were missionaries, and my great grandparents were missionaries, and my father was a sorry, my grandfather was an Anglican minister, and my father died in a plane crash in Papua, New Guinea being a missionary. And so, you know, there was just this expected pathway. And, yeah, it was difficult for me, because I just didn't ever feel like that was true for me. So all I could do was follow one foot in front of the other, and that led me to doing an Arts degree with a drama major, so sort of a drama degree, I guess not performance technically, although at that time that course was evolving into a performance course, I was too scared to audition for a VCA or a nighter. It was just way too much for me. I was a very, very, very naturally I'm a very naturally scared person like I'm literally terrified all the time. So that led me to the arts degree, because it was one foot in front of the other, which led me to drama, which led me to student theater at Monash, which led me to a comedy troop because my boyfriend was a comedian, and so I joined a comedy troop because I wanted to perform and I wanted to write and I couldn't find any other way, which led me to the Melbourne comedy scene, which was thriving in the 90s,

Tess Masters (07:55):
thriving even more now. Yeah, back

Jo Stanley (07:58):
there it was. It was a really exciting time in comedy in Melbourne. It was how so scene, well, it was the first time so out of venues like or theaters like La MaMa and the last laugh and a joke. It was a time where people were Australian comedy was developing a voice that the country had never seen before. And, you know, we had, we had people like Wendy Harmer and, yeah, so Peter rose Horner, Greg fleet and, you know, Barry Humphries, and people doing things that had never been done before, like Andrew Denton and like, there were people who were creating an Australian voice. And I came in on the back end of that. Like, those people had been around for for a while, but there were tryout venues in every pub, anybody could get up anybody and people were doing really interesting things you haven't done. Anthony, all stars, like, yes, what were they? Hilarious and unique you had like LAN Woodley, and you know, it was such an exciting time. Some of these people are dear friends of mine now, which I just still pinch myself. That happened. I was literally a groupie following Doug Anthony, all stars around, and now here I am. Life is amazing, right? So I just fell into it because it was there. And wait

Unknown (09:18):
a second, I'm not going to let you just slide that under the rug here. Hang on a second. So you know they say public speaking is the number one fear above death. I'm going to tell you that I would rather public speak to 25,000 people than do stand up comedy. That is like my idea of the most terrifying thing on earth is just standing there with a microphone trying to make people laugh. And you say that you're scared or you're terrified all the time. So when you said before, well, I didn't listen to it, I just couldn't not do it. So you asked me about how I interpreted it, being an introvert and performing. How do you differentiate the listening and giving yourself permission? And to follow it, it has to be me in as opposed to I just couldn't not do it. Can you explain to me how you reconcile that? I mean,

Jo Stanley (10:11):
this was sort of, I was, sounds so wanky.

Go and be a wanker. Oh well, you know, I'm

Jo Stanley (10:18):
very woo, woo. And I think I would say I just wasn't evolved and enlightened enough to understand that I had a hard voice. I was following. I hadn't I hadn't discovered meditation. I hadn't discovered mindfulness. I was deeply disconnected with self, so like most people in their 20s, I, you know, did lots of drinking and lots of partying, and didn't really sit with myself and understand why I was drawn to do something. I just kind of blindly went on because it felt like there was opportunity there. Yeah, I think actually what it was was my my instinct telling me that's where I needed to go and now I wouldn't be doing broad radio without having done that stand up, because that stand up got me into radio. And so I really do believe it was the universe's path for me, but I didn't know that I wasn't connected with self or universe or my heart at that point. Yeah,

Unknown (11:16):
I want to ask you about that opportunity you saw opportunity there. So when you say that you're somebody who feels terrified all the time, is that your antidote to fear is embracing the opportunity, diving into the opportunity, maximizing your opportunities. Would you say that?

(11:37):
Hmm,

Jo Stanley (11:40):
I, in recent years have identified as an antidote to fear, passion. I think passion counterats Anxiety every time.

Unknown (11:51):
What are you passionate about?

Jo Stanley (11:52):
Well, for me, it has in the last 2015, 20 years, it's been about shifting gender inequality, basically being what I can doing what I can to support women to to be their largest version of self and and really, it's because that's what I've explored in myself. It's been my own path, and I'm like, Yes, I have made myself small. I have made myself silent. I have made myself a lesser version of who I really am, or I've shape shifted, or I've been too amenable or and I've been deeply unhappy. And now I want to help women, other women, young and old and teenagers, oh, you know. And I want this for everyone on the planet, but I think that it's a distinctly female experience to be told to be small. So that's that's been my passion for the last 20 years, and every time, particularly around building a startup like that, is getting terrifying, essentially, especially in an industry where you have been known for achieving quite a lot, but you know, then you're going to do something completely different within that industry. And I was terrified of what people within radio might say. Now, I don't fucking care.

Unknown (13:09):
I want to get to this kernel of this. I don't fucking care so. So what was the first invitation that you recall to this self awareness path. I'm playing too small. You say you weren't self aware back in your 20s, when I know now you're very deep into meditation and self awareness, and you're very much on that path. What was that first invitation that you remember to opening yourself up in that way?

Jo Stanley (13:39):
Yeah, I mean, it probably came from therapy. Doesn't all good, all good things come from therapy. Yeah,

in my life, too, 100% like hard

Unknown (13:47):
things and important things. What
prompted you to go into therapy?

Jo Stanley (13:55):
I was deeply unhappy. Didn't know why, I think, and again had sort of, it's so it's sort of a bit of a blur to me. Now I don't have a very good memory test, so I have this desire to write a memoir, and then I go what actually has happened in my life. I don't recall, but I think, I think what it was I'd spent my 20s aware that I was very disconnected from who I was, but didn't quite understand what that meant. Just was unhappy, lots of anxiety. Didn't know how to settle very sad. I mean, sad. I was very sad. And I think when you experience childhood trauma. You do carry a sadness with you. I'm just at peace with that now. I don't think you'll ever anybody who's sort of gone through something like I was four when my father died, and then you know that that led to a pretty difficult childhood, not just the grief of that loss and my mother's grief, but the poverty and. That. And you know the sadness in our house, so that that shifts you, that sits in yourselves. And the other thing is fear, like I when I say I'm always frightened, it's because in my cells I learned that think the world would disappear like that in a heartbeat, it can and will.

Unknown (15:21):
Yeah, your central nervous system is wired to receive that next tragedy. Yeah,

Jo Stanley (15:26):
exactly. And so I think I was led to therapy because I just knew that I could live a better way somehow. And I I've had lots of different kinds of therapy and different about six different therapists, maybe seven broke them. A lot of them retired. But I have kind of, you know, gone from, you know, I as I learn and, you know, life is sort of about plateaus. I think you scale and plateau, scale and plateau. And so I, I, in that first iteration of therapy, it was really just understanding the vocabulary of what feels wrong and what can feel better, essentially. And in that process, that particular therapist led me to mindfulness and meditation and changed my life absolutely.

Unknown (16:19):
Yeah, and so when you walked through and this door of opportunity, starting in radio, what did you learn from being in radio, and what do you love about it so much like, how did you just take to that after being on the stage and then being in an audio medium, what was that shift like for you?

Jo Stanley (16:41):
It was like coming home because, I mean, about that, I mean, because I, and everyone, everyone says, when I say I was a stand up comic, and I still, you know, in in if I was to describe myself, I would describe myself as a comedian, even though I don't do stand up anymore. I, I, you know, I do lots of keynotes and MCs, and it's very informed by the need to write a joke and it to land and get people to laugh like that is kind of where I start whenever I write something and perform something. But I was never very comfortable, and I because I hadn't done the work on self, so I wasn't able to sit in the moment and let the connection between performer and audience happen in a way that you really need to if you're going to thrive as a comedian. So the anxiety around being on the stage was crippling, and people, everyone says, Oh, I could never be a stand up. It's got to be the most courageous thing. I'm like, well, it is very sick, very scary, but I was never particularly good at it. So perhaps I also that anxiety, and to be honest, the green room was even worse. Like standing in that green green room, and the feeling that I didn't belong and that I wasn't good enough, was so pervasive and so overwhelming in myself, in my body, that I would feel like I want to vomit before I walked into the green room, but radio I just immediately understood. You bring very crafted, like it's intended to sound spontaneous, but you write what you're going to talk about pretty much, and then you forget it. It's connection with your teammates. It's that fun play that we spoke about, of keeping the ball in the air and going anywhere and being vulnerable and being very, very in the moment, present moment, aware. It's a connection with an audience that is so beautiful, because as you build trust and relationship with audience, you can fail, you can be flawed. You can share, you know, hilarious things, but really sad things, with that audience, and they then, as they trust you, they share themselves with you as well. They're funny and clever and moving. You become a part of their lives. They become part of your life. It's so beautiful in it as a medium, and also it allows you to be angry about what's happened in the world, to be sad, to be deeply, to find something hilarious, the silliness of life. It's just such a perfect microcosm of understanding humanity that I just instantly fell in love with it. I love the connection with audience. I miss that so much speaking with audience every day and hearing them relate back to you, and that you kind of get this sense that we're in it together and we're helping each other get through the day, because days are hard. Yes,

Unknown (19:40):
days are hard, and you were in morning radio, so just knowing you're helping someone start their day off with a laugh on a good note, feeling part of community, feeling a sense of belonging, I imagine, was deeply fulfilling. So great, yeah,
so

great. What did you learn about yourself? 40

Unknown (19:58):
5am certainly. To be good.
What did you learn about yourself
inside of that interaction with others? Yeah, I mean,

Jo Stanley (20:11):
I learned that I was shape shifting. I learned that I wanted to be happy with who I was and that I needed to work on, that I learned very, you know, very, because I'd come from the arts, right? So before I was in radio, my day job was theater producing and venue managing theaters. So you would, know, test the arts. Everybody is a certain kind of person. They're kind of eclectic, eccentric, very accepting of every kind of personality, you know, really just a beautiful, warm, kind of lovely space. And then I found myself in the media. I was like, what kind of people are these? And I realized that the arts was such a little bubble, you know, that you've got your sales team and you've got your management and you've got people in media, particularly very male dominated industry, who are all extremely alpha and ego driven. And I just was like, what world is this? And then I realized that is the world. Oh, my God, that's not like comedy and theater, that's not the world. That's a beautiful part of interpreting the world. But and then I started understand the gender disparity and gender inequality, which I just I knew intellectually, like my mom, single mom, she taught me to be a feminist. Like, you know, I was reading Simone bivare, mangria at age 12, but I didn't quite understand the reality of it, like I went to a girls school and kids just never it wasn't real. And then I was in radio, and I was like, Whoa, hang on a minute. There is such a difference in the way they treat women and the way they treat men. There is such disparity in numbers, there is, again, I just started to kind of form myself as a feminist that's quite angry, and yes, so I learned that. I learned how to be, how to be resilient, no matter what turn up, bring your best self, how to be kind and patient with others. I learned I learned teamwork. I learned brand, personal, brand, business, brand, like so much, every single thing that I do now is because I was lucky enough to be in that show well,

Unknown (22:39):
and it was the number one show. What was that like, being on the top?
What was that like for you pretty I mean, it was, it

Jo Stanley (22:51):
was amazing because it meant that I had a job. But it was, you know it, I always used to say, well, you know, being number one doesn't get up and write the jokes for you in the morning, and it doesn't put you in the right head space to be doing what you're doing. That means that you have this beautiful, enormous, very large audience. It was exciting and it was joyous and it was terrifying, because if you if your ratings dropped, then you knew that, you know your job was on the line. You had a lot of people wanted to ride you for performance at times when sometimes you weren't you were doing your best, like the amount of times less so as we rated really well. But over the years, you know, they had, they do this thing in radio called Air Checks, where you would sit in a room, and they would play back the show that morning, and there could be anywhere between two and eight people in that room telling you what you did wrong minute by minute. You know, crazy stuff like that. And but the amount of times I'd say, Well, you showed me the part where I wasn't trying my hardest, sometimes things don't land right. You kind of so it's very, very high pressure, very, very and I drank a lot, and I was, I cried a lot, and, you know, was pretty probably dysfunctional during that time, but also was the greatest joy of, like, the best 10 years of my life, doing the Matt and Joe Show, we had a little family, you know, on air and off. And I've never felt since before or since, that sense of belonging and that sense where I was able to be truly in that performance space, in that family, in that little bubble that is a glass studio, literally a glass bubble, you I was completely and utterly just being me and being following that instinct that you know, I'm going to say this now, I'm going to interact in this way. I'm going to just really not question the voice and yeah, that was incredible.

Yeah, God, that's a beautiful feeling. So rare.

Jo Stanley (24:59):
Like I just, I just feel so fortunate. And it was I was gifted that experience by the universe, not to suggest I didn't work really hard, and not to suggest there's no talent there. But it was the universe just kind of gave me that privilege. And I will forever to go to my grave being so deeply grateful for that.

Unknown (25:23):
Yeah, I want to ask you about this sense of belonging and this sense that I'm enough, you know, I worked for it. You talked before about standing there in the green room or backstage in the stand up comedy clubs, going, I'm not good enough. You know, I'm not as good as some of these. You know, people that are truly gifted at this, and then when you went into radio realized I'm actually really good at this, and got to the top of your game. How did you harness that, or hold on to that, or hold it differently and let it keep you buoyant when that chapter ended? Um,

Jo Stanley (26:04):
yeah. I mean, it's it. So, you know, I went from the Matt and Joe Show to then over to gold one of 4.3 and did Joe and limo for two years,

Unknown (26:12):
yeah? Well, you then had another great show, yeah? So we took that to number one

Jo Stanley (26:17):
for the first time in 10 years, yeah. And then we got sacked, like at number one.

Unknown (26:21):
So talk about what that felt like, pretty

Jo Stanley (26:26):
surreal. Like, I think I'm pretty good at disassociating. It tends to be my reaction to any kind of trauma or challenge. I less so now, but I kind of tend to just disassociate from body and just kind of let it happen and then sit in shock for a bit. I was absolutely devastated, because that show was brilliant and was heading towards some greatness, like it was only it takes two years for a show to like that breakfast show, to really hit its straps, and they we've been two years and never, ever had a conversation with the person who sacked us. He wouldn't return our calls, and never, he never, kind of gave us an explanation. So that was difficult to get some closure around that. But then I you know, the lesson in that is that shit, things happen, and you can't get closure sometimes from the the way, like, you know, there's no explanation, and you can't, you just can't. You just got to find peace with it in yourself, right? That sense of being enough. It's interesting, because even when I was doing the Matt and Joe Show, I look back now and still, there's a part of me that goes I wanted, I wanted to get a foothold of feeling like I belonged in that industry that I never got, like I felt like I was always only just sort of hanging on to my

Unknown (27:52):
my position in the industry,

Jo Stanley (27:57):
even though we were so successful, Even though, you know, it was just felt really like I was just standing a little in the shadows all the time. I don't know if that's the right analogy, but just a little bit left of the main stage, I guess you could say, and where the people that were fully accepted and enough got to stand, even though I was on a number one show, and even though I know that I was integral to that successful show. And so when we got sacked, it basically reinforced the fears that I had, I think, been carrying, that I wasn't ever, I never really had the right to take up space in that industry. And I think that was part of the grief, that was part of the grief to kind of sit with. Well, who are you now that they've taken a job that I was pretty much defined by, that's gone, and how are you enough without it? Probably you were never enough. That's, I guess, the voice that I had to sit with. And I really did sit for a year and look out the window. I mean, I did work, but just kind of cried and lot and sat and looked out the window trying to work out, what, what am I? Who am I? But thankfully, I, you know, I had discovered mindfulness and meditation by then, and journaling. And, you know you recover, or I recovered through sitting with me and and I, you know, I love affirmations, just telling myself that I I love you and you are enough. You have enough. That's kind of Yeah, the healing. You have to kind of be your own healer.

Unknown (29:55):
Yeah. So as you were sitting out the window, just you. Thinking, receiving, listening to your heart, saying your affirmations, being your best friend, and whatever you know terms we want to we want to put to this, what were some of the things that were coming up for you that then invited you to step into this next iteration of your career.

(30:28):
I think I've always felt like I had more in me. I think I,

Jo Stanley (30:33):
you know, in that fear of not being enough, or that sense that people didn't think I was enough,

Unknown (30:42):
I think I realized that I had

Jo Stanley (30:46):
made myself smaller like I had not, you know, I think people pick up on the energy that is around you, and if I'm presenting myself as inside thinking I don't really belong here, even regarding regardless, regardless of whatever success. You know, if I'm energetically saying that, is there a sense that people are picking up on that and feeding that back to me? And so I really kind of had to sit with, what is it that I want to project who actually am? What are the energetically, what am I carrying around with me? What do I need to release, and what is not serving me anymore? And as I did that, I really spent a lot of time journaling around what you know, what is something that I know to be true about myself, and that is I'm really passionate about, you know, basically sharing the path that I'm experiencing so that other women can share this same path of like, discovering your the glory of you, you know, the beautiful parts of you that the world don't get, world doesn't get to see. And so as I kind of sat with that, I really just felt like, well, let's release the need to be what other people want you to be on how you have projected yourself to be. Let's release that and just follow maybe a quieter path, a different path, just I don't even know what I'm going to do. The world will show me. The universe will show me, and eventually it showed me broad radio. So I just kind of felt like I had to sit and be quiet. You know, when you work so very hard and radio is brutal, breakfast radio is brutal, and you are so tired and all you can do is keep the work the one foot in front of the other that like the activity you don't ever sit with self. You're just too busy doing rather than being. And so that year was an incredible gift, because I was forced to sit and be and and that's where I was like, Okay, let's release that,

Unknown (32:55):
that ego version of you.
Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? When you get older, you just become less interested in the Persona construction and more interested in the sense of self.

Jo Stanley (33:08):
But you know that, don't you think? Though I I've reflected upon that, and I think I couldn't have come to this version of me earlier, because it's in the doing that you have the life lessons. 100%

Unknown (33:21):
yes. So

Jo Stanley (33:23):
we could say, oh, I wish my 20 year old self had more wisdom and was more connected and less and I do, but at the same time, it was all that mad, completely chaotic, frenetic, paced activity that where you make the mistakes and when you do the things, we go, Holy shit. Who was I why? And we're

Unknown (33:44):
going to keep making mistakes in this version of ourselves today, tomorrow.

Jo Stanley (33:52):
I can't say I wish I hadn't been those, but I do now know identify behaviors in myself. Or I go, Oh, you're falling into that again, you're falling into it. Because for me, productivity is an addiction, and it's Oh,

Unknown (34:07):
you and I again, spirit animals. Hello. You know what

Jo Stanley (34:10):
it means. So you would understand that when you are anxious, when you don't want to sit with self, you don't want to sit with fear, you don't want to sit with sadness, you go, Oh, I know. I'll just fill that with doo. Doo. Doo doo until you fall over in a complete, you know, burnout, you know, mess like a pile of laundry on the couch. That's all you are. And then you're too tired to actually sit with those darker parts of self as well. So, you know, it's, it's now I can recognize that behavior and go, Oh, it's time to maybe not do so much today and face whatever the fuck is going on in your mind and heart today. Yeah, you know, yeah. So what's where I'm so wise now test,

Unknown (34:54):
I know me too, wise about some things and really dumb about other things. But that's okay. Hey,
I'm on the path.
So this, this, this whisper, these, these, these, these, the story. This, this idea of broad radio. I mean, not everybody decides they're going to start a network. I mean, that's, that's a big, beautiful thing, you know? So this, this idea you were talking about before, about passion being the antidote to fear, and you realizing that your passion was that you wanted to empower women, and you wanted to be part of correcting the gender imbalance and so forth. There are a lot of ways that you could be doing that you're a patron of different organizations and a supporter and a speaker, and a lot of different ways that you could have been part of that change, and I know continue to be in those parts of your career, why start a network?

Jo Stanley (35:55):
And trust me, I've asked myself that because it is really hard. Turns out it's really hard. And you know the amount of times I thought to myself, why didn't I just do a fucking podcast?

Unknown (36:11):
Well, you did
many me, and in fact, I'm about to launch another one.
Oh, I can't wait.

Jo Stanley (36:17):
Yeah, but why did I start the network? It was, and this was literally, this is probably the first moment where I can actually consciously say, I thought it had to be me.

Unknown (36:32):
Oh, great. I'm so glad we got to a conscious it has to be me, yes,

Jo Stanley (36:38):
um, because so a lot of people had said to me, strangely, like, who says to someone, oh, you've just been sacked. Why don't you should just start your own radio network? It kept, it kept being said to me, and I kept saying, I don't think you understand radio. You don't just start a network. And then, because it kept being said, I was like, oh, that's kind of weird. Why do people keep saying that? And then I was meditating, and I kept having this image. It started very small, this image of the women outside of myself, you know, the women that we all are a collective women, womanhood, I guess you'd say. But like, you know, when I meditate often, and one of the things that really when I'm feeling extremely sad or anxious, I my visualization is around the golden energy within ourselves, reaching out within me, reaching out into the universe, and sort of just going on forever, infinite. And that's that's for me, that's my limitless potential, right? And as I was having that visualization, it became really clear that it was to women. This connection was to women. And so, you know, most things, most ideas, come to me as pictures, and I have to try and work out what that picture is. And then, as people kept saying to me, Radio Network, Radio Network. And I'm like, okay, that's really interesting. And I kind of was tracking my in my own work, as I was, you know, doing the practical things of trying to get my next job. Fuck sake. What am I going to fucking what is the money going to be? So I paid a mortgage. I was tracking, you know, what have I done, and who am I, and all that sort of practical stuff you're supposed to do, and I realized I had been driven with my work in radio, around elevating women and being a voice for women. And you know, this is a thing that I often do. I sometimes do mentoring and coaching, and often I talk about, well, you gotta take an audit of your life, and you gotta sort of see where are the patterns. I'm like, Okay, so I'm an ambassador for these charities, and that's all women focused. And now I'm on this ministerial council for women's equality, and that's incredible room of very, very full on and depressive feminists who were terrifying. And so all of that was happening, and then I'm having this meditation. And then I was sitting in this room with these, this ministerial council, and I saw just, I don't know, it's like, you know, what do they say when the the blinkers fall away from your eyes. And I was like, okay, so I know that. I've been in radio the only, you know, it's always two men to one woman, and I've done the research of the voices you hear in radio. Only 27% of female. I know all this, and like, I've been, you know, fighting the women's fight. Whenever the microphone has been on, I've been representing all the women, and then I'm in this room with these incredible feminists and diversity just is hitting me in the face, and I've gone, oh my God, even though I've only been one out of two in the room, women, all the women have looked like me. All the women are white, cisgender, middle class, yeah. I'm like, hang on. And it just kind of was just this, like. Uh, like, oh, I don't Oprah would say an aha moment. I guess I should not be speaking on behalf of women. I need to make my one microphone into hundreds of microphones. That needs to happen, because the thing that is the problem in media generally, is the numbers. It's a numbers game. We just need more women, more voices, diverse voices, like I was at VicRoads yesterday, and I looked around and I went, this is Australia, the diversity in that space, yeah, the people working there and the customers. PS, could not speak more highly of Vic Roads. They're incredible. So quick, my daughter got her learners yesterday. I just was like, What am I speaking on behalf of the you do not see here, the diversity of those people, that kind of that you know, the the Australia that you know you go to footy training or school pickup or Vick roads, that's just non existent, and it has a detrimental effect on the stories we tell ourselves. Oh my God, that's that. It just became so clear, and I knew it had to be me, because I'm the one who has that extremely successful radio experience. I'm the one that has the privilege of knowing so many people and my networks. I'm the one who can put myself on the line and do that. And I guess I'm the one now who's done the work itself to do it as well. And it just I'm the only one that has this vision. And then the meditation became, quite clearly, the broad radio now became, I see the business, I see the the platform. I see everything about it is so clear to me. I see it five years from now, when we have 2 million listeners a week, which is to me, that's the tipping point when we will actually affect societal change. Because the voices are there, you know, I see that so clearly, and I didn't know how I was going to do it, but then universe provides, unfortunately and very tragically, we all went into lockdown and suddenly streaming just exploded. And this what we're doing now, became so easy. The technology caught up with the idea. And I had been speaking with networks about the idea, and they liked it, but no one wants to put money into this sort of thing. And I was like, Well, fuck it. I'll do it myself, which I think is I realize is sort of a pattern of my life. I'm a very much a fuck it. I'll just do it myself, kind of person to my detriment,

Unknown (42:41):
back to your success as well. Oh yes,

Jo Stanley (42:44):
yes. I mean, I could save you to come in and go. I'll do that for you.

Unknown (42:52):
Well. I mean, I kind of feel like our superpower is our Achilles heel. We're not held in balance. So when you're in balance, or somewhat, you know, on the spectrum of balance, it is an absolute superpower, and then it's to your detriment when it's out of balance. Is how I interpret it. What you're saying, if that

Jo Stanley (43:13):
I am writing that down, Tess, that is so, that is so valuable for me to hear. Yeah, and this is the thing that I love about the space we're in at our age, which is the thing I love about broad radio women are fucking wise. Yes, you get little if you're open hearted to it, which I am, because I meditate every day. So my I'm lucky that I have this muscle now where I hear the little I hear the little wisdoms, but women are full of them. And when we we have conversations like broad radio is about it's women and we are distinctly women over 35 is our is our target audience. Of course, we go beyond that to younger women, but it's women in our life stage who they just bring the nuggets, and it just goes, Oh, yes, oh, I'm gonna lock that away for me today. Yeah, that's so true. What you said

Unknown (44:08):
delicious, and it's so activating. Is that how I feel? Because you've got so many fantastic shows, and there's just some just brilliant people that are part of this family. I'm so honored to be a part of it. Thank you so much. I'm so excited. Like, Oh no, it's, it's just so you just, I mean, I just, kind of, I kind of just, I get activated, you know, on a cellular, energetic, kinesthetic level, you know, and then on a soul, heart level, like you were saying before one of your big goals is for women to feel like they're not alone, that you've got support. You're not the only person who's experienced this, who's felt this, who is feeling this, and that you know like you were saying, it's never too late to have another dream, to take action, to become the person you want. Be to take ownership of who you are and to use your voice. And I think that like you were saying, one microphone into 100 into 2 million listeners, into 4 million listeners, and let's keep going, right? So in terms of you curating your content and your personalities, you know, because there's so many people that you could choose to be part of the family. You know, when you gathered your tribe, so to speak, of people, of trusted people, personalities, advisors and so forth, when you were looking at this vision and then bringing it to life, where you had to have other people help you, even though it has to be me to do it. How did you choose those people, what was your barometer

Jo Stanley (45:46):
love, which is really probably the opposite to what you imagine in a business. But I think when you are in a creative space, it has to be love driven, heart LED. And what's interesting is you can there are a lot of people who are doing incredibly great creative things. And I, my instinct is they're not love or heart LED. And I don't want that. I don't want a space in which there is anything that is from a I guess we have a 00 tolerance for hate, is what I would say. And that doesn't mean you can't be disruptive. That doesn't mean you can't be confronting or confrontational, because we are here to change gender inequality, right? And that does require, sometimes anger and sometimes to say some really difficult truths. But I think everyone that we approached and invited to join us in this incredible adventure have are doing the work, keen to evolve as people and to help other people evolve and and that's again, not to say we have unified policy like, like political views. We don't, you know, we have people from all the spectrums, deliberately. That's not to suggest that we sit around in a love circle agreeing with each other. That's really fucking boring radio. You know, it's about, though, understanding that there is a open hearted belief in each other and in allowing each other to be the most beautiful, big version of each other. And we will help each other do that, and there's no place for being deliberately divisive or being,

(47:51):
yeah, I guess in a way that actually hurts people. We don't want to hurt people. And I mean, an example is that we are women led, and it's by women for women, however, we love men, and we would never, ever, ever, you know, be in a space where we are creating an us and them situation that we have. We've had men on the shows. We will continue to have men on as a part of the content. It's just that we center female voices and gender diverse voices. So, yeah, I guess it was at the heart of it. It's love. It's just going okay, this is a person who I can connect with and understand that we are on the same we have the same vision for the planet and for each other. I guess that's Yeah,

Unknown (48:36):
but no, but I felt that. I felt that when you and I met, you know, when, when we were thinking of collaborating, and I very much knew that you were taking the temperature, as was I, as should anybody when you have an initial meeting with somebody, you know, and,

Jo Stanley (48:53):
and it's interesting, because it's hard sometimes, because People use really good words, and people are good people, yeah. So at times you can be having a conversation, you know? You can go, it sounds like a really interesting thing to explore, and then two or three meetings, Ian, I can be or I feel like there's something just not right. I don't have to define it, though, for me to go, that's not right. I don't have to actually have the answer for myself. It can be enough for me to go, I'm a little not sure. So if in doubt, leave it out. It's one of 100% I call

that. It does not have to be me. Moment

Jo Stanley (49:35):
is what I call those moments, right? It's just as important, isn't it?

Unknown (49:40):
There's only so many yeses to give, and they have to be your yeses and your nos based on your mission, your feelings, your gut, your they have to be aligned with your values, you know. So
what's the biggest challenge that you face with broad radio? I.

Jo Stanley (50:02):
Uh, well, I mean, with any startup, the biggest challenge is commercializing it that that's is really, really hard, and for us it's a numbers game again. So in the media space, commercializing anything requires a certain amount of of ears or eyes, and you got to start from ground zero. So of course, as we grow, we haven't quite hit, you know, that level at which people would want to commercialize what we're doing to a degree that we're as sustainable as we need to be, so that that's really, really challenging. You what you need to grow. You need audience. You need to make content. Content costs money, like it's all that sort of kind of catch 22 that you find yourself in there every business finds themselves in. So for me, it's understanding to see abundance in a different way. And Oh, tell

me about that, yes, because

Jo Stanley (50:59):
you could spend your whole time in a scarcity mindset, because you have bills to pay, because your revenue might not be where it needs to be. Like that. That is really crippling. It removes that blue sky thinking that is critical to building a business. And for me as a you know, I've got many hats. One of the hats, of course, is to commercialize and be sustainable financially. But my other hat, many, when many, is the creativity of going, what do we need to create? Content wise, that's not being done, that's going to capture an audience and grow and you know, so if I'm only thinking about the scarcity, I'm not going to have that, that blue sky thinking that I need to have. So abundance comes in many different ways, and we are as rich as any person, any business can be for support, for connections, for people who want to hear our story, who want to help us grow. For, you know, just a passion for not just the idea people, of course, want to elevate women's voices, but for our idea, that's that's been quite distinct. Yes, I want, I want there to be gender equality. Who doesn't? I mean, I guess some arseholes don't, but I don't care about those. I

don't, but the majority

Jo Stanley (52:20):
of Australians actually, they have a majority of Australians. They've been they've done research, like the recent gender compass report, that plan INTERNATIONAL REPORTER, the majority of Australians want what gender equality, but people have connected with us. When people connect with broad radio, there's that support as well. So it feels very personal, and the abundance that I focus on is transformative. On days when you're like, oh my god, I'm so tired and I just, why can't I just get more revenue? It's like, you'll get there. It's, you know, you can't go from two to 10 without all the numbers between,

Unknown (52:58):
yeah. And I'm a big believer, the cream rises, you know. And if you just focus on the quality of the content and the quality of the connections and the quality of the network, it gets noticed, and people are drawn to it, which I so feel with broad radio. So I think it's so exciting and so beautiful. What you really you've created so far, and what you continue to create and will do in the future. I'm really proud to be a part of it, so listener, you can be part of this mission and come to broad radio and be part of the family you talked before about women have so much wisdom, and there's just, oh, there's so many great shows that are part of the network. You know, what? What are some of the pearls that you've gotten from connecting with the personalities and the family members of broad radio and some of the shows?

Jo Stanley (53:50):
Well, let me say, I mean, I hear from, you know, don't you think that when you listen to, whether it's radio or podcast, it's like you get the opportunity to live vicariously in someone else's ah, it's Fauci

Unknown (54:05):
without the risk.

Jo Stanley (54:08):
But also you can't live 10 lives. I wish I could, I wish I could be all those other lives as well. Because I think I would, I would have a real crack at it, and I'd love it, right? But I can't. So I get to listen to Nelly Thomas talk about being a queer woman with just exploring what it is to be over 50 and single and kind of that really fun, sexual version of yourself and and just hearing like that, that freedom and like that inspires me to kind of just be A be a version of that 25 year marriage, that's another thing, but I love the wisdom of really just owning yourself as a sexual being. We are sex positive on broad radio. That's the joy of being internet radio, like streaming. Yeah, have adult conversations and. You can be really kind of fun. And like recently, we just did a show that was a Saturday morning sports show called play big. And Rana Hussain told us that her first she had her first orgasm at Fernwood when she was a teenager. She discovered her core, right? We had a sex therapist call into the show and say, that's called a co orgasm. And it's a real thing of self that usually women are scared to talk about, because there's a stigma around being sexual. Stigma around, you know, like, yeah, so that, that kind of thing. It's also having my eyes opened to to incredible things, like, there's a little podcast that you know is an independent podcast by Dr Ruth de Souza, who's PhD in nursing and midwifery, and her podcast is around multi like women of color and culturally linguistically diverse women and birthing stories. So it's basically about colonialism and how that's impacted birthing. Yeah, that blew my mind to really just and again, you would never hear that on main people, yeah, that women's birthing experiences are so impacted by the fact that they are a woman of color, in a in a white hospital, or in a white experience, you know, white medical system, that kind of thing, you know, just blows your mind. It's it's stories of chronic illness. It's stories of like, comedy as well. I mean, like, yeah, it's everything. It's everything that just makes you go, I can't live 10 lives, but I want to understand other people's lives. Because I always, you can always take a nugget from that for yourself, absolutely, absolutely say that sense that you're not alone is, is just, I mean, the only thing that gets you through the day, it's gold. It's gold.

So you're the mother of a 16 year old daughter. Do you think of this as sort of a love letter to her?

Unknown (57:20):
Um, I guess I I've

Jo Stanley (57:26):
not been asked that question before. I, I mean it, I have sometimes felt that mother guilt around the fact that I worked 24/7 and maybe that's kept me not as connected to her as I would like to be as a parent. But at the same time. I mean, I'm lucky enough I can, whilst I work 24/7 I can also drop everything and go to the school musical or whatever, right? And I think it's really valuable for her to see industry in her house, and creativity and the fearlessness that comes with just going, fuck it, I'll do it myself. So that's a valuable thing. I think generally, I want broad radio to be a safe space. And it is, we people. That is the number one comment. People say, Thank you for creating a safe space. So it is intended to be a safe space for all women and gender diverse folk who just want to feel they can be who they are. So I guess it's a love letter to everyone. I don't I hadn't sort of identified it as attaching it to Willow. I think that's because when you're raising a 16 year old, you just, you just hope that she might eat lunch.

Unknown (58:40):
Oh, I suppose, I suppose where I was going with the question, I guess what was coming up in my heart was just this, you know, you being in radio where there wasn't gender equality, and wanting willows, generation and generations to follow, to be living in a world where women are free to use their voices and can take up space in ways that they previously have not been able to,

Jo Stanley (59:05):
yeah, and that is definitely, that's the change I want to see. That's, you know, that that is, if, with our theory of change, societal change is the end result that we're working for. And so for her, definitely, I would have heard a better. Do you know what? Though, that generation, they are miles ahead.

Unknown (59:27):
Yeah, they go getters, and they, they think they deserve it. It's, it's awesome.

Jo Stanley (59:32):
It's really, you know, and they don't, you know. Here's an example, right? So interesting. She's not, unlike a lot of her friends, you know, she hasn't had her first boyfriend or girlfriend, right? So she's sort of not at that space. And we were talking about wedding dresses the other day, and she was talking about, oh, when I get married. And in that conversation, at no point did she identify the gender of the person she might be getting married. Two Yeah. Yeah, my

Unknown (01:00:00):
niece and nephew are like that too. Yep. Just didn't, you know, it's not, it doesn't even come into their head. Yeah, the non issue

Jo Stanley (01:00:07):
I was like, That is profoundly different to my generation. Because if it was a woman, we'd have to make the point it was a woman, you know, like, it's not like a It's not inherent in that way. Now it's, it's just, and I see that as a because language is the way you view the world. Right? Language is, you know, articulation of how of your worldview. And so I was like, oh, that's that is the way equality and equity is so inherent in them. And I don't think that her generation are going to find themselves, most definitely, they are going to have the same challenges around feeling enough as we have. But I don't think they're going to find themselves in a room thinking I'm the only woman here, therefore I shouldn't speak up as much. Firstly, I don't think they'll be in as many rooms where they're the only woman. I hope. Thanks. We believe work. We're doing the work to share that. But secondly, I think, if that were to happen, I hope that they've seen enough examples now where they don't have it's just, it's just not their worldview that they don't have a right to speak up. I think, yeah,

Unknown (01:01:14):
yeah. Oh gosh, it's exciting. It's an exciting time, for sure.

I mean, it is an exciting time because we are changing selves like I just think there's a movement. Don't you think, Tess, when we get to have these conversations, you and I, they are delicious, but I have these with girlfriends when I'm having a coffee. Totally, absolutely. Movement is personal. It's not just in the media, and it's not just in the books we read. And, you know, it's not just adolescence. And, you know, wow, the incredible TV series, like, it's not just podcasters. It's in our lives. Yes, in the gyms we go to and the the spaces we take up. It's so exciting. It's so

Unknown (01:01:54):
exciting. And to your point about turning one microphone into 100 microphones, listener, you don't need to be on the radio to use your voice affect change in your relationships in your community. Just have an open conversation with a friend in a coffee shop. So

true Tess and and I think it's a muscle like I'm very good at it now, because I've been doing it for 20 years, and the first time you have a conversation where you might be sharing a bit of yourself and a bit a sense of like, oh, you know, I'm feeling a little bit this, and you're hoping your friend might bring some wisdom. And you're kind of, that's a muscle that can be hard, but you, you, you know, be courageous around that, because you will never, ever, it would never be a you always get a positive result out of that, and the result is great. Yes,

Unknown (01:02:46):
yes, I know you love quotes. My favorite quote is the Nelson Mandela one, I never lose. I either win or I learn, oh, that's a ripper. It's a ripper. And it's my favorite. I mean, I love me some quotes, and I love Rumi and all kinds of amazing stuff, right? But I just always come back to that one. What? What about, you know, when we think we're not enough moving through the world where there's only winning and learning, it

all serves us well, yeah, because, and for me that's around releasing outcome, because process is everything, and that has really helped me with broad radio, because I didn't know how to build a startup. I have no I'm completely self taught. But every time I go, Oh my God, will I get to the you know, will this result in the success that I am after? Whether it's this stage or the end stage, I'm like, but it's, it's all just a hypothesis that's just

Unknown (01:03:44):
right way,

just experimenting. So just experiment, have a go, and the process is what matters, because you're winning or learning so beautiful. I have this one of the things that I remind myself of, which is from that beautiful letter from Martha Graham, to act as, yeah, DeMille, a Blessed Unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive. So it's just, you know, you just gotta keep marching, because it will make you live, even though it's hard, even though you know you don't know what the fuck you're doing, you just, you gotta follow that Blessed Unrest.

Unknown (01:04:23):
I mean, I was going to ask you the final question that I ask every guest, but I think you just answered it because you're because you're because you're you, because you're you. Well, I close every episode with
the same question, which is,
when you have a dream in your heart and you don't feel like you have what it takes to make it happen. What do you say to yourself,

(01:04:50):
hmm,
when I don't feel like I have
i i. I I kind of

say I love you, and today, all you have to do is this one thing. You actually don't even have to think about that dream, the dream, you know, it's like when you're when you want the solution to a question, don't meditate on trying to find the solution. Meditate on the question, right? So I just go, Well, I don't think I can do this, but it's not really up to me to decide just do the one thing that you need to do today, and it will, the outcome will look after itself, because, you know what? Even, and again, it's like that, what you say about winning and learning, right? I have no idea, no idea the impact that broad radio is having on the people that hear it. And I can't possibly know. I might, I might completely change someone's life and not know that. But I don't need to know that. All I know is that I'm going to do this one thing today, and as you interact with people, and as you do that one thing, you have no idea, the universe looks after that.

Unknown (01:06:12):
I'm so excited about broad Radio. Thank thank you for this delicious conversation. I'm so excited to to have more of them and listener Come join us at Broad radio. Super

Yes, yeah, download the app to listen when we're live, but also the podcast that our beautiful, you know, collection of podcasts are there on the app. And if you really love us and you really feel called to be helping us get to that 2 million you know, women, which that's a long way away. But if you really want to support us elevating women's voices, and, you know, just shifting the conversation so that more women are heard, you can become a broader member, $8 a month or $80 a year to be a part of that.

Unknown (01:06:59):
And that's Australian dollars, dear listeners in the United States and other countries, which makes it even better for you. So yeah, it's a great investment so many wonderful shows. Thank you for the way that you show up in the world. Oh

Tess, I've loved this so much. I feel so completely lifted. I feel like my my feet are going to be walking much lighter today. Thank you. Oh, me too. You.

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