August 25, 2025 • 21 mins
Mama, it’s time for some real talk—are you building yourself up or tossing shade at your own future without even realizing it? Every word you speak, every choice you make, and every person you let close can either lift you toward your goals or keep you stuck in the struggle.
In this episode of It’s A Single Mom Thing, we dive into how to stop aggravating yourself and start advocating for your healing, your kids, your finances, and your faith. From co-parenting struggles to daily habits, dating choices, and spiritual growth, you’ll learn how to make intentional moves that set your family and your future up for success.
💡 You’ll discover how to:
- Recognize when you’re advocating vs. aggravating in your daily life
- Take small, practical steps toward healing and growth
- Model strength, resilience, and faith for your kids
- Make big boss moves in your finances, parenting, and personal life
It’s time to stop the self-sabotage and start thriving, mama. One question can change everything: Are you advocating or aggravating?
🎧 Listen now on [Spotify/Apple/your platform link] and start taking your next boss move!
#ItsASingleMomThing #SingleMomLife #FaithAndParenting #MomPodcast #AdvocateVsAggravate #BounceBackBetter #BossMoves #SelfCareForMoms
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
So let me ask you somethingreal Are you your own biggest
supporter or your own biggestsaboteur?
(00:21):
Every day, in the choices youmake, the words you speak, the
people you allow close, you areeither advocating for your
future or you are aggravatingyour present.
Think about it.
Are you investing in yourhealing or are you reopening the
(00:41):
wound?
Are you setting your kids upfor peace or are you keeping
them stuck in drama with theirwound?
Are you setting your kids upfor peace or are you keeping
them stuck in drama with theirdad?
Are you building financialfreedom or are you buying
another temporary fix thatleaves you broke and frustrated?
And well, let's be real, whenit comes to dating, are you
choosing someone who adds valueto your life?
(01:04):
When it comes to dating, areyou choosing someone who adds
value to your life or are yourepeating an old pattern that
keeps you stuck in heartbreak?
Advocate or aggravate those areyour two options, and the truth
is you get to decide which onewill shape your story.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's Single Mom Thing.
(01:26):
So now that we have set thestage, let's break this thing
down, because it's one thing tohear the words advocate or
aggravate, but it is anotherthing to recognize where it's
actually showing up in yourdaily life.
So let's start with the firstplace that matters most, and
that's your healing.
(01:46):
Healing, advocating for yourwholeness.
You see, healing isn't optional, it's foundational.
But here's the truth.
Some of us are walking aroundwith open wounds while telling
ourselves I'm fine and listen.
Every time we avoid the work ofhealing, we're not just
(02:07):
standing still, we'reaggravating the pain.
So what does it mean toadvocate for your healing?
Well, this is what I'm talkingabout, girl.
It looks like giving yourselfpermission to rest.
I did say that rest.
So it means finding safe spacesto talk instead of bottling it
up.
It's leaning on prayer, therapy, journaling or even your
(02:31):
community.
Whatever girl helps you walktowards wholeness.
But now aggravating.
Let's talk about that.
Aggravating your healing.
Well, this is what that is.
That happens when you keeppicking at the scar, when you
replay the hurt over and overand over like a broken record,
or you even let bitterness,comparison or shame sit in your
(02:55):
heart.
It's like pouring salt in yourown wound.
Think of it like a brand newpair of shoes.
You love how they look.
Ooh, they're so cute, they feelgreat at first, but then that
blister starts rubbing.
You know what that feels like,and instead of stopping no, you
wouldn't do that.
Instead of changing your shoes,didn't do that.
(03:18):
Instead of tending to the wound, you just kept on walking.
And, girl, you know, the longeryou go, the worse it gets.
That's what happens when weaggravate our own healing.
We keep pushing, pretending,ignoring the pain and it only
grows, but advocating for yourhealing.
(03:39):
Well, this is what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about Sometimes itlooks like being vulnerable,
being okay with not being okay.
So recently I had a friend ofmine talk to me about a
miscarriage of 12 weeks that shejust had.
She is only two weeks out awayfrom her loss, but what she's
(03:59):
learning is so powerful andapplicable to all of us she's
learning to be okay with notbeing okay.
She told me that when she's inpublic and emotions rise, she
doesn't stuff them down anymore,she doesn't fake it or try to
hold it all together.
Instead, she has learned tostop pretending to understand
(04:23):
why this happened.
Instead, she's learning to justbe real.
That's a whole story in itself,but it gets better With her
relationship with God.
She's learning the same thing,being okay with not
understanding.
She doesn't have the answers,but she knows this he's still a
good father.
(04:43):
He's still faithful and stillable to use everything for his
glory.
That's what advocating lookslike.
It's choosing honesty overperformance.
It's tending to the woundinstead of ignoring the blister.
It's giving yourself permissionto feel, to grieve, to ask God
(05:05):
the hard questions, while stilltrusting that he's working it
out for your good.
So ask yourself this am Ispeaking life over my healing or
am I keeping myself stuck inthe same story?
Because here's the thing whenyou advocate for your healing,
(05:27):
you're not just investing in you, you're setting the stage for
your kids, your future and everyarea of your life to flourish.
Co-parenting and drama,advocating for peace.
Okay, so let's lighten the loadhere.
(05:48):
So let's just say thatco-parenting can sometimes feel
like a full-time job with nopaid vacation and, if we're
honest, there are days whenyou'd rather eat cold french
fries off your kid's plate thanhave another awkward
conversation with their dad Forreals.
So here's the thing.
(06:09):
Aggravating looks like pickingup every battle, keeping score
or letting his decisions dictateyour peace.
It's firing off that textmessage in all caps because he
forgot to pick up your kidsagain.
It's replaying the fight inyour head all night instead of
(06:31):
sleeping.
That's aggravating and trust me, girl, we have all been there.
But here's the reminder he hasfeelings too.
I know sometimes you tend towonder if he does, but listen,
he is part of the wholeness andhealing of your family, even if
sometimes feels like he put ahole in it.
(06:53):
Advocating doesn't meanpretending everything is perfect
.
No, on the contrary, it meansholding space for the humanity
on both sides.
And here's the sassy truthSometimes the best clap back is
no clap back.
Sometimes advocating meanshanding the whole situation to
(07:14):
Jesus Because, listen, he fightsbattles better than we do
anyways.
So let's flip to a littleExodus 14, 14 here.
That says the Lord will fightfor you.
You need only to be still, andsometimes mama.
That looks like saying I'mgoing to try to let Jesus win
here.
(07:34):
Remember what you put down infront of your kids your anger,
your frustration, your peace.
They're picking it up.
So make sure it's what you wantthem to carry Because, trust me
, they will carry it.
They're watching you when yousigh dramatically every time
their dad forgets pickup, whenyou roll your eyes at the text
(07:55):
you just got, or when you mutterunder your breath about how
adults should act like adults.
They're also watching when youlet a little drama steal your
joy, when you replay fights likea Netflix series in your head,
or when you stomp around thehouse slamming doors.
That's the baggage they pick up.
But on the flip side, when youmodel peace, taking a deep
(08:18):
breath Instead of sending thatall caps text, saying a quiet
prayer before responding,letting God handle the fight,
that is what they'll carry too.
They notice when you choosecalm over chaos, laughter over
frustration and Jesus overjudgment.
(08:41):
So, ladies, let's be intentional.
Be sassy if you must.
Oh yes, please do Laugh whenyou can.
Oh yes, please do Laugh whenyou can, but make sure the stuff
your kids carry is worth caring, finances and future goals,
advocating for your future.
So listen, ladies, let's talkmoney, goals and building the
(09:02):
life you deserve, because here'sthe truth.
Aggravating doesn't just show upin feelings or co-parenting
drama.
It also shows up in ourfinances and plans too.
Aggravating looks like buyingwhat you don't need, spending
out of stress or letting feardictate your decisions.
(09:23):
It's ignoring that savingsaccount, putting off budgeting
or thinking, yeah, I'll startthat tomorrow and then tomorrow
never comes.
That's aggravating.
That's setting yourself up forunnecessary stress and chaos.
Been there, done that way toomany times.
(09:43):
So then what does advocatinglook like?
Well, advocating that'schoosing your future over your
impulses.
That's saying I see the life Iwant for me and my kids and I'm
going to make choices to getthere.
It's creating a plan, stickingto a budget, setting small goals
, investing in your skills orcareer and even praying over
(10:07):
your financial decisions.
So let's make it real, okay.
One maybe it's passing on thatcute outfit on sale because you
know putting that money intoyour savings account will bring
more peace than instantgratification.
Two, maybe it's saying no tothe extra shift at work that
would leave you exhausted, soyou can spend quality time with
(10:30):
your kids and work on yourpersonal goals.
Or three maybe it's signing upfor that online course to
advance your career, even if itfeels uncomfortable, even if it
feels expensive or like youdon't have time.
Three or four I forget whatnumber I'm on Maybe it's praying
(10:51):
and journaling before making abig financial decision, instead
of buying something out of fear,stress or even comparison.
Maybe it's having the hardconversation with a family or a
friend about boundaries thatprotect your peace and your
priorities.
And maybe, just maybe, it'screating I don't know a weekly
(11:12):
financial plan telling yourmoney where to go, instead of
letting it tell you where itwent.
Snap, okay, but if that wasn'tsassy enough, let's take it up a
notch, because listen,advocating isn't just big moves,
it is the little choices too,like skipping that Frappuccino
you really don't need becauseyour savings account says thanks
(11:34):
, mama.
Avoiding retail therapy whenstress hits, even though that
cute top ooh, it's whisperingyour name by me.
Turning off social media envyinstead of comparing your life
to someone else's highlight reel.
Packing lunch instead ofordering takeout, because small
savings add up and your kids arelearning budgeting too.
Or saying no to a last minutefun plan that would wreck your
(11:59):
carefully laid schedule.
These, yes, they may seem small, but, ladies, they are total
power moves.
Each choice is a way of tellingyour future self I've got your
back, girl.
Each one is modelingintentionality and resilience
for your kids.
At the same time and if youhaven't listened to last week's
(12:23):
episode Backpacks, breakdownsand Boss Moves, girl, you need
to stop this and go back therefirst, because it is packed full
of strategies that we talkedabout, like prioritizing,
breaking goals into manageablesteps and building your support
system, which are incrediblyhelpful here too.
Remember how we flipped chaosinto competence, with small,
(12:43):
powerful shifts.
The same applies to yourfinances and goals Small,
intentional moves, like planningweekly expenses, teaching kids
to carry their share orreflecting on wins and next
steps.
It adds to freedom, stabilityand peace.
Yes, that simple, posted onyour fridge weekly meal planner.
That is all advocating for yourfree and flourishing future.
(13:08):
So here's a little reflectiontime.
Ask yourself in this situation,am I making a choice that sets
my future self up for success,or am I reaching out of impulse
or pressure?
Am I modeling intentionalityfor my kids or am I leaving them
to figure it all out on theirown?
You see, advocating isn't aboutperfection at all.
(13:32):
We've said that before.
It's about small, consistentsteps.
Remember I like to say babysteps.
Make big dreams that compoundinto a life of freedom,
stability and peace for you andyour family.
Faith, purpose and daily walkingwith God, advocating
(13:52):
spiritually Now, mamas, we'vetalked about healing,
co-parenting and finances, buthere's the foundation that ties
it all together your faith anddaily walk with God.
Advocating for yourselfspiritually is the most
important thing, even more thanadvocating in the other areas of
(14:13):
your life.
Aggravating spiritually well,it looks like trying to do it
all on your own, rushing throughprayer, skipping time in God's
word or pretending you've got itall together when really you
don't.
You're just a hot mess.
It's forcing yourself toperform, comparing your walk to
someone else's, or even holdingresentment instead of releasing
(14:35):
it.
It's letting your morning slipaway, scrolling, scrolling,
scrolling or worrying instead ofstarting with God, which listen
ladies often sets the tone fora very aggravating day spent on
things that don't matter.
Very aggravating day spent onthings that don't matter.
But advocating spiritually, onthe other hand, well, it's being
(14:55):
honest with God and yourself.
It's showing up even whenyou're tired, frustrated or even
confused.
It's saying Lord, I don'tunderstand, but I trust you.
It's giving him your hurts,your questions and even your
dreams and letting him lead theway.
(15:20):
Sometimes I have found thatadvocating spiritually looks
like getting up early andgetting good with God before the
chaos starts.
That quiet time with him beforethe rest of the world wakes up,
praying, reading his word,journaling it all builds your
armor for the day ahead.
It's asking God for thestrength to do something
differently than you did before,like enjoying being single and
(15:42):
getting to know yourself,without rushing into dating,
choosing leftovers overunnecessary spending, skipping
that new outfit you don't need,or responding with patience
instead of frustration.
Those intentional choices,albeit they may seem small,
compound into peace, clarity andeven purpose.
(16:04):
So think about it like thisyour purpose, your peace and
your resilience are nurturedevery day in small, consistent
moments of faith.
Maybe it's, I don't know.
Maybe it's like this praying inthe car before school drop off,
or reading a verse while makingdinner, or asking God for
(16:25):
wisdom before a difficultconversation.
Maybe, just maybe, it's sharinga real raw moment with your
kids about trusting God evenwhen life feels very messy.
Ladies, your daily walk with God.
It is also a model for yourchildren.
They're learning how to lean onhim by watching you do it
(16:47):
Through your prayers whisperedin the quiet, songs sung in
chaos and trust placed in themidst of uncertainty.
So, yes, I got anotherreflection time and I want you
to ask yourself am I showing upfor my faith even when it's hard
?
Am I trusting God with theareas that I can't control?
(17:09):
Am I making intentional choicestoday that my future self and
my kids will thank me for.
It's pretty powerful, right,when you think about it.
So remember advocatingspiritually.
It doesn't require perfection,it requires presence, honesty
and consistency.
Those small steps of faith,repeated daily, compound into a
(17:33):
life filled with purpose, peaceand power that no circumstance
can shake.
So, as I close, we have walkedthrough, like I've said, healing
, co-parenting, finances and nowyour daily walk with God.
You've seen the differencebetween advocating and
aggravating.
And now, girls, it is time toput all of this into action.
(17:55):
So here's my challenge for youI am double dog, daring you yes,
double dog, daring you to makeat least one big boss move this
week, a boss move that pushesyou closer to the life you and
your kids deserve.
Not a tiny shuffle, not a maybeI'll do it move.
(18:15):
No, girl, I am talking about amove that matters, that
challenges you and that yourfuture self will high five you
for.
Like, I don't know, maybe it'sfinally setting a boundary with
someone who drains your energy.
Getting serious about afinancial goal, like I don't
know, setting up that weeklyplan or investing in your energy
.
Getting serious about afinancial goal, like I don't
know, setting up that weeklyplan or investing in your skills
, prioritizing your healing,therapy, journaling or that
(18:39):
tough conversation you've beenavoiding.
Starting a new spiritual habitgetting up early, spending
focused time with God, askinghim to guide your choices for
the day and then actuallyletting him do it, teaching your
kids something real aboutresponsibility, budgeting or
resilience.
So let's make this impossibleto forget.
(19:02):
I am Double Dog, daring you topost it on your fridge, write it
on your mirror and hot pinklipstick Stick a post-it note to
your steering wheel, or set itas a reminder notification on
your phone.
Three times a day for sevendays.
Make it visible and make itreal.
And then, when you reach thatgoal this week, give yourself a
(19:24):
little attagirl, celebrate it.
Then next week, set a slightlybigger goal.
Keep building, keep moving andthen keep advocating, keep
flexing that new muscle that youare developing.
And I don't know even do this.
Go as far as posting it onsocial and get your girls, your
gal pals, on board to do thesame thing.
(19:44):
Make it a movement, cheer eachother on, hold each other
accountable, share the wins, thestruggles, and the big boss
moves.
It is always better when we dothis and rise together.
And here's a little extra tip,mama, okay.
So sometimes we need a physicalcue to break the cycle.
So I'm going to call this alittle snap to it, and I want
(20:07):
you to keep a rubber band onyour wrist or even just snap
your fingers when you catchyourself aggravating yourself,
complaining, stressing or evenrepeating old patterns.
Let that snap be your reminderto pivot and advocate for
yourself instead.
Small actions like this, ladies, are going to help you train
(20:29):
your mind and your heart tochoose progress over frustration
.
And before we go, rememberyou're not alone.
If you need prayer,encouragement or just someone to
walk with you, call our prayerline at 855-822-PRAYER.
Share this episode with a solosister who needs to hear it too,
with a solo sister who needs tohear it too, and because you
(20:52):
know, girl, advocating foryourself every single day is how
you set the stage to flourish.
So go ahead, advocate versusaggravate the daily choice that
shapes your life.
Make your move, own your momentand show up like the boss you
were created to be.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
(21:13):
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Thanks for listening to it's aSingle Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
(21:35):
notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
So let me ask you somethingreal Are you your own biggest
supporter or your own biggestsaboteur?
(00:21):
Every day, in the choices youmake, the words you speak, the
people you allow close, you areeither advocating for your
future or you are aggravatingyour present.
Think about it.
Are you investing in yourhealing or are you reopening the
(00:41):
wound?
Are you setting your kids upfor peace or are you keeping
them stuck in drama with theirwound?
Are you setting your kids upfor peace or are you keeping
them stuck in drama with theirdad?
Are you building financialfreedom or are you buying
another temporary fix thatleaves you broke and frustrated?
And well, let's be real, whenit comes to dating, are you
choosing someone who adds valueto your life?
(01:04):
When it comes to dating, areyou choosing someone who adds
value to your life or are yourepeating an old pattern that
keeps you stuck in heartbreak?
Advocate or aggravate those areyour two options, and the truth
is you get to decide which onewill shape your story.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's Single Mom Thing.
(01:26):
So now that we have set thestage, let's break this thing
down, because it's one thing tohear the words advocate or
aggravate, but it is anotherthing to recognize where it's
actually showing up in yourdaily life.
So let's start with the firstplace that matters most, and
that's your healing.
(01:46):
Healing, advocating for yourwholeness.
You see, healing isn't optional, it's foundational.
But here's the truth.
Some of us are walking aroundwith open wounds while telling
ourselves I'm fine and listen.
Every time we avoid the work ofhealing, we're not just
(02:07):
standing still, we'reaggravating the pain.
So what does it mean toadvocate for your healing?
Well, this is what I'm talkingabout, girl.
It looks like giving yourselfpermission to rest.
I did say that rest.
So it means finding safe spacesto talk instead of bottling it
up.
It's leaning on prayer, therapy, journaling or even your
(02:31):
community.
Whatever girl helps you walktowards wholeness.
But now aggravating.
Let's talk about that.
Aggravating your healing.
Well, this is what that is.
That happens when you keeppicking at the scar, when you
replay the hurt over and overand over like a broken record,
or you even let bitterness,comparison or shame sit in your
(02:55):
heart.
It's like pouring salt in yourown wound.
Think of it like a brand newpair of shoes.
You love how they look.
Ooh, they're so cute, they feelgreat at first, but then that
blister starts rubbing.
You know what that feels like,and instead of stopping no, you
wouldn't do that.
Instead of changing your shoes,didn't do that.
(03:18):
Instead of tending to the wound, you just kept on walking.
And, girl, you know, the longeryou go, the worse it gets.
That's what happens when weaggravate our own healing.
We keep pushing, pretending,ignoring the pain and it only
grows, but advocating for yourhealing.
(03:39):
Well, this is what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about Sometimes itlooks like being vulnerable,
being okay with not being okay.
So recently I had a friend ofmine talk to me about a
miscarriage of 12 weeks that shejust had.
She is only two weeks out awayfrom her loss, but what she's
(03:59):
learning is so powerful andapplicable to all of us she's
learning to be okay with notbeing okay.
She told me that when she's inpublic and emotions rise, she
doesn't stuff them down anymore,she doesn't fake it or try to
hold it all together.
Instead, she has learned tostop pretending to understand
(04:23):
why this happened.
Instead, she's learning to justbe real.
That's a whole story in itself,but it gets better With her
relationship with God.
She's learning the same thing,being okay with not
understanding.
She doesn't have the answers,but she knows this he's still a
good father.
(04:43):
He's still faithful and stillable to use everything for his
glory.
That's what advocating lookslike.
It's choosing honesty overperformance.
It's tending to the woundinstead of ignoring the blister.
It's giving yourself permissionto feel, to grieve, to ask God
(05:05):
the hard questions, while stilltrusting that he's working it
out for your good.
So ask yourself this am Ispeaking life over my healing or
am I keeping myself stuck inthe same story?
Because here's the thing whenyou advocate for your healing,
(05:27):
you're not just investing in you, you're setting the stage for
your kids, your future and everyarea of your life to flourish.
Co-parenting and drama,advocating for peace.
Okay, so let's lighten the loadhere.
(05:48):
So let's just say thatco-parenting can sometimes feel
like a full-time job with nopaid vacation and, if we're
honest, there are days whenyou'd rather eat cold french
fries off your kid's plate thanhave another awkward
conversation with their dad Forreals.
So here's the thing.
(06:09):
Aggravating looks like pickingup every battle, keeping score
or letting his decisions dictateyour peace.
It's firing off that textmessage in all caps because he
forgot to pick up your kidsagain.
It's replaying the fight inyour head all night instead of
(06:31):
sleeping.
That's aggravating and trust me, girl, we have all been there.
But here's the reminder he hasfeelings too.
I know sometimes you tend towonder if he does, but listen,
he is part of the wholeness andhealing of your family, even if
sometimes feels like he put ahole in it.
(06:53):
Advocating doesn't meanpretending everything is perfect
.
No, on the contrary, it meansholding space for the humanity
on both sides.
And here's the sassy truthSometimes the best clap back is
no clap back.
Sometimes advocating meanshanding the whole situation to
(07:14):
Jesus Because, listen, he fightsbattles better than we do
anyways.
So let's flip to a littleExodus 14, 14 here.
That says the Lord will fightfor you.
You need only to be still, andsometimes mama.
That looks like saying I'mgoing to try to let Jesus win
here.
(07:34):
Remember what you put down infront of your kids your anger,
your frustration, your peace.
They're picking it up.
So make sure it's what you wantthem to carry Because, trust me
, they will carry it.
They're watching you when yousigh dramatically every time
their dad forgets pickup, whenyou roll your eyes at the text
(07:55):
you just got, or when you mutterunder your breath about how
adults should act like adults.
They're also watching when youlet a little drama steal your
joy, when you replay fights likea Netflix series in your head,
or when you stomp around thehouse slamming doors.
That's the baggage they pick up.
But on the flip side, when youmodel peace, taking a deep
(08:18):
breath Instead of sending thatall caps text, saying a quiet
prayer before responding,letting God handle the fight,
that is what they'll carry too.
They notice when you choosecalm over chaos, laughter over
frustration and Jesus overjudgment.
(08:41):
So, ladies, let's be intentional.
Be sassy if you must.
Oh yes, please do Laugh whenyou can.
Oh yes, please do Laugh whenyou can, but make sure the stuff
your kids carry is worth caring, finances and future goals,
advocating for your future.
So listen, ladies, let's talkmoney, goals and building the
(09:02):
life you deserve, because here'sthe truth.
Aggravating doesn't just show upin feelings or co-parenting
drama.
It also shows up in ourfinances and plans too.
Aggravating looks like buyingwhat you don't need, spending
out of stress or letting feardictate your decisions.
(09:23):
It's ignoring that savingsaccount, putting off budgeting
or thinking, yeah, I'll startthat tomorrow and then tomorrow
never comes.
That's aggravating.
That's setting yourself up forunnecessary stress and chaos.
Been there, done that way toomany times.
(09:43):
So then what does advocatinglook like?
Well, advocating that'schoosing your future over your
impulses.
That's saying I see the life Iwant for me and my kids and I'm
going to make choices to getthere.
It's creating a plan, stickingto a budget, setting small goals
, investing in your skills orcareer and even praying over
(10:07):
your financial decisions.
So let's make it real, okay.
One maybe it's passing on thatcute outfit on sale because you
know putting that money intoyour savings account will bring
more peace than instantgratification.
Two, maybe it's saying no tothe extra shift at work that
would leave you exhausted, soyou can spend quality time with
(10:30):
your kids and work on yourpersonal goals.
Or three maybe it's signing upfor that online course to
advance your career, even if itfeels uncomfortable, even if it
feels expensive or like youdon't have time.
Three or four I forget whatnumber I'm on Maybe it's praying
(10:51):
and journaling before making abig financial decision, instead
of buying something out of fear,stress or even comparison.
Maybe it's having the hardconversation with a family or a
friend about boundaries thatprotect your peace and your
priorities.
And maybe, just maybe, it'screating I don't know a weekly
(11:12):
financial plan telling yourmoney where to go, instead of
letting it tell you where itwent.
Snap, okay, but if that wasn'tsassy enough, let's take it up a
notch, because listen,advocating isn't just big moves,
it is the little choices too,like skipping that Frappuccino
you really don't need becauseyour savings account says thanks
(11:34):
, mama.
Avoiding retail therapy whenstress hits, even though that
cute top ooh, it's whisperingyour name by me.
Turning off social media envyinstead of comparing your life
to someone else's highlight reel.
Packing lunch instead ofordering takeout, because small
savings add up and your kids arelearning budgeting too.
Or saying no to a last minutefun plan that would wreck your
(11:59):
carefully laid schedule.
These, yes, they may seem small, but, ladies, they are total
power moves.
Each choice is a way of tellingyour future self I've got your
back, girl.
Each one is modelingintentionality and resilience
for your kids.
At the same time and if youhaven't listened to last week's
(12:23):
episode Backpacks, breakdownsand Boss Moves, girl, you need
to stop this and go back therefirst, because it is packed full
of strategies that we talkedabout, like prioritizing,
breaking goals into manageablesteps and building your support
system, which are incrediblyhelpful here too.
Remember how we flipped chaosinto competence, with small,
(12:43):
powerful shifts.
The same applies to yourfinances and goals Small,
intentional moves, like planningweekly expenses, teaching kids
to carry their share orreflecting on wins and next
steps.
It adds to freedom, stabilityand peace.
Yes, that simple, posted onyour fridge weekly meal planner.
That is all advocating for yourfree and flourishing future.
(13:08):
So here's a little reflectiontime.
Ask yourself in this situation,am I making a choice that sets
my future self up for success,or am I reaching out of impulse
or pressure?
Am I modeling intentionalityfor my kids or am I leaving them
to figure it all out on theirown?
You see, advocating isn't aboutperfection at all.
(13:32):
We've said that before.
It's about small, consistentsteps.
Remember I like to say babysteps.
Make big dreams that compoundinto a life of freedom,
stability and peace for you andyour family.
Faith, purpose and daily walkingwith God, advocating
(13:52):
spiritually Now, mamas, we'vetalked about healing,
co-parenting and finances, buthere's the foundation that ties
it all together your faith anddaily walk with God.
Advocating for yourselfspiritually is the most
important thing, even more thanadvocating in the other areas of
(14:13):
your life.
Aggravating spiritually well,it looks like trying to do it
all on your own, rushing throughprayer, skipping time in God's
word or pretending you've got itall together when really you
don't.
You're just a hot mess.
It's forcing yourself toperform, comparing your walk to
someone else's, or even holdingresentment instead of releasing
(14:35):
it.
It's letting your morning slipaway, scrolling, scrolling,
scrolling or worrying instead ofstarting with God, which listen
ladies often sets the tone fora very aggravating day spent on
things that don't matter.
Very aggravating day spent onthings that don't matter.
But advocating spiritually, onthe other hand, well, it's being
(14:55):
honest with God and yourself.
It's showing up even whenyou're tired, frustrated or even
confused.
It's saying Lord, I don'tunderstand, but I trust you.
It's giving him your hurts,your questions and even your
dreams and letting him lead theway.
(15:20):
Sometimes I have found thatadvocating spiritually looks
like getting up early andgetting good with God before the
chaos starts.
That quiet time with him beforethe rest of the world wakes up,
praying, reading his word,journaling it all builds your
armor for the day ahead.
It's asking God for thestrength to do something
differently than you did before,like enjoying being single and
(15:42):
getting to know yourself,without rushing into dating,
choosing leftovers overunnecessary spending, skipping
that new outfit you don't need,or responding with patience
instead of frustration.
Those intentional choices,albeit they may seem small,
compound into peace, clarity andeven purpose.
(16:04):
So think about it like thisyour purpose, your peace and
your resilience are nurturedevery day in small, consistent
moments of faith.
Maybe it's, I don't know.
Maybe it's like this praying inthe car before school drop off,
or reading a verse while makingdinner, or asking God for
(16:25):
wisdom before a difficultconversation.
Maybe, just maybe, it's sharinga real raw moment with your
kids about trusting God evenwhen life feels very messy.
Ladies, your daily walk with God.
It is also a model for yourchildren.
They're learning how to lean onhim by watching you do it
(16:47):
Through your prayers whisperedin the quiet, songs sung in
chaos and trust placed in themidst of uncertainty.
So, yes, I got anotherreflection time and I want you
to ask yourself am I showing upfor my faith even when it's hard
?
Am I trusting God with theareas that I can't control?
(17:09):
Am I making intentional choicestoday that my future self and
my kids will thank me for.
It's pretty powerful, right,when you think about it.
So remember advocatingspiritually.
It doesn't require perfection,it requires presence, honesty
and consistency.
Those small steps of faith,repeated daily, compound into a
(17:33):
life filled with purpose, peaceand power that no circumstance
can shake.
So, as I close, we have walkedthrough, like I've said, healing
, co-parenting, finances and nowyour daily walk with God.
You've seen the differencebetween advocating and
aggravating.
And now, girls, it is time toput all of this into action.
(17:55):
So here's my challenge for youI am double dog, daring you yes,
double dog, daring you to makeat least one big boss move this
week, a boss move that pushesyou closer to the life you and
your kids deserve.
Not a tiny shuffle, not a maybeI'll do it move.
(18:15):
No, girl, I am talking about amove that matters, that
challenges you and that yourfuture self will high five you
for.
Like, I don't know, maybe it'sfinally setting a boundary with
someone who drains your energy.
Getting serious about afinancial goal, like I don't
know, setting up that weeklyplan or investing in your energy
.
Getting serious about afinancial goal, like I don't
know, setting up that weeklyplan or investing in your skills
, prioritizing your healing,therapy, journaling or that
(18:39):
tough conversation you've beenavoiding.
Starting a new spiritual habitgetting up early, spending
focused time with God, askinghim to guide your choices for
the day and then actuallyletting him do it, teaching your
kids something real aboutresponsibility, budgeting or
resilience.
So let's make this impossibleto forget.
(19:02):
I am Double Dog, daring you topost it on your fridge, write it
on your mirror and hot pinklipstick Stick a post-it note to
your steering wheel, or set itas a reminder notification on
your phone.
Three times a day for sevendays.
Make it visible and make itreal.
And then, when you reach thatgoal this week, give yourself a
(19:24):
little attagirl, celebrate it.
Then next week, set a slightlybigger goal.
Keep building, keep moving andthen keep advocating, keep
flexing that new muscle that youare developing.
And I don't know even do this.
Go as far as posting it onsocial and get your girls, your
gal pals, on board to do thesame thing.
(19:44):
Make it a movement, cheer eachother on, hold each other
accountable, share the wins, thestruggles, and the big boss
moves.
It is always better when we dothis and rise together.
And here's a little extra tip,mama, okay.
So sometimes we need a physicalcue to break the cycle.
So I'm going to call this alittle snap to it, and I want
(20:07):
you to keep a rubber band onyour wrist or even just snap
your fingers when you catchyourself aggravating yourself,
complaining, stressing or evenrepeating old patterns.
Let that snap be your reminderto pivot and advocate for
yourself instead.
Small actions like this, ladies, are going to help you train
(20:29):
your mind and your heart tochoose progress over frustration
.
And before we go, rememberyou're not alone.
If you need prayer,encouragement or just someone to
walk with you, call our prayerline at 855-822-PRAYER.
Share this episode with a solosister who needs to hear it too,
with a solo sister who needs tohear it too, and because you
(20:52):
know, girl, advocating foryourself every single day is how
you set the stage to flourish.
So go ahead, advocate versusaggravate the daily choice that
shapes your life.
Make your move, own your momentand show up like the boss you
were created to be.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
(21:13):
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Thanks for listening to it's aSingle Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
(21:35):
notes.
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