Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a
Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Okay, ladies, I got a
podcast pop quiz.
It's 7.32 in the morning, thebus comes in three minutes and
one kid can't find a shoe,another's crying because their
hair looks weird and your coffee, yeah, it's ice cold.
Question are you about to havea breakdown or a total boss move
(00:35):
?
You see, mornings, in myopinion, well, they should come
with a warning label that saysmay cause excessive coffee
consumption, high stress levelsand unexplained tears.
Yeah, back to school.
Mornings, those are total chaos, girl on steroids.
But let me pause right herebecause all is not lost.
Listen, this isn't just aboutmoms.
(00:56):
For those listening.
This isn't just for the momswith the ones with pigtails and
paw patrol backpacks.
Nope, okay, if you're a singlemom of littles, middles, teens
trying to pass algebra, or evena young adult juggling part-time
work and college classes whilestill living at home, you know
the chaos.
Different ages and stages, samestress.
(01:16):
This podcast is for you.
So here's the thing.
Chaos doesn't have to be theboss.
No, you do.
And today, ladies, I'm going toshow you how to flip those
breakdowns into total boss moves.
So welcome back to anotherepisode of it's a Single Mom
Thing.
I'm your girl, sherri, andwe're going to keep it sassy.
We're going to keep it movingforward.
(01:38):
In today's episode calledBackpacks, breakdowns and Boss
Moves, you see, we're going tobe talking about making your
kids part of the win, tamingdinnertime panic with a simple
weekly plan and grabbing backyour peace, your time and your
money, one small shift at a time.
So you ready, girl, let's makemornings your territory From
(02:02):
chaos to crew, making your kidspart of the win.
All right, boss lady, take adeep breath.
If chaos isn't the boss, well,who is?
We are okay.
But here's the twist we're notdoing it solo.
This isn't a one woman show.
Okay, we're gone of those days.
You are a household and that isa team.
(02:24):
So think of yourself as the CEOof Home Inc.
And here's the good news yourstaff already lives with you the
littles, the middles, the teens, even that young adult still
living at home, yeah, well, theyare all part of the household
team and everybody's got a role.
(02:45):
You see, we are moving from Ido it all to no, we do it
together, you see, because we'renot just running a house, we
are raising humans who can fly,not failure to launch.
Okay.
So let me break it down.
For example, when my son waslittle.
His jobs were simple Pick asnack for your lunch, put your
(03:06):
shoes in the same spot by thedoor, help with a two-minute
tidy up after dinner.
You see, it wasn't perfection,that's not what I was looking
for, but it was ownership, wasthe buy-in I was looking for.
So, ladies, as your kids getolder, their roles should grow
too.
You see, middles well, they cando a quick night before check.
(03:27):
Make sure the water bottles arefilled, the Chromebooks are
charged and the outfit is laidout.
They can even help pack luncheswhile you're cooking, and
they're responsible for emptyingnot only their backpack, but
maybe the dishwasher too.
And, of course, don't forgetand you probably should have
this it is putting papers in.
What I like to call.
The mom needs to see this pile.
(03:49):
Okay, by the time they're teens, though, however, listen ladies
you need to hand them thecalendar.
Let them add their practices,their tests, their work shifts
to the family schedule, so it'snot all on you and their alarm
clock yeah, that's theirs, notyours.
Laundry day, there's two, and ifthey've got younger siblings,
(04:10):
well, they can help quiz them onvocab while dinner cooks.
You see, if they can marathonan entire Netflix season, trust
me, they can master a checklist.
And then there's the youngadults that are still at home.
I see you, you're not off thehook either.
Listen, this is where moms,you're going to really shift
some gears here.
Okay, you see, they are eatingat your table.
(04:33):
They are carrying part of theload too.
That means one night a week,dinner is theirs.
They have to plan it, shop it,cook it and clean it.
Oh, yes, they do.
They have to plan it, shop it,cook it and clean it.
Oh, yes, they do.
And if life gets a little wildand they can't cook, well, then
cover, take out from theirpaycheck, because, listen, if
(04:55):
you're earning in my household,you are also learning to
contribute.
Listen, this is a family, not afree hotel.
So maybe that looks like, Idon't know, $50 to $200 a month
toward groceries or evencovering one shared bill, like I
don't know, wi-fi streaming orgas for the carpool line.
May I suggest that, you see,living at home means we share
(05:16):
the load, and that includes timetasks and little financial
piece too.
Well, why?
Because, remember, we arepreparing them to fly, and
ladies, flying starts bycarrying their own weight now,
not watching mom carry it justbecause she loves them.
Listen, I've been there, donethat.
You don't need to.
(05:36):
So listen if you're wonderingwell, okay, sherry, that sounds
great, but what about when theydon't do it?
Well, I got you boo, okay.
So here's what naturalconsequences come in Now.
In my household, I didn'tnecessarily do punishments, I
did preparation.
That helped with my mom guiltthat was about to follow.
You see, my job isn't to carryyour consequences, neither is
(06:00):
yours to carry theirs.
It is to coach them throughthem.
So let's say, for an example,let's say, if a little forgets
to clean out their backpack thatalmost never happens, right.
Tomorrow, well then, your toytime or coloring time starts
five minutes later.
Shoes left out Well, they notonly put them away, they get to
(06:21):
lay out tomorrow's shoes too.
And here's how I got yourmiddle schooler boo.
Well, if they forget theirfolder, well then you get to
explain it to your teacherbecause, listen, mom's not
driving across town to rescuethem, didn't pack their lunch
when it was their turn.
Well, let's say they get PB andJ and an apple today.
(06:41):
Teens who slept through theiralarm that never happens, right.
Well, guess what?
You get to handle the latecheck-in and makeup chores
before you see your friends.
Laundry ignored Well, you getto wear what's clean and mom
doesn't rewash at 10 pm.
Okay, and for those youngadults still living at home,
well, if they skipped yourdinner night, you are now either
(07:02):
going to cover takeout for thewhole family or you are going to
cook twice.
Sorry to me, cook twice nextweek.
Don't contribute to the agreedamount.
Well, wi-fi pauses until it'spaid.
Leave a mess all over theshared place.
Well, wi-fi pauses until it'spaid.
Leave a mess all over theshared place.
Well, guess what?
It gets moved to your room fora week.
Are you seeing the pattern here?
Ladies, these aren'tpunishments, these are life
(07:26):
lessons and lessons that theyneed to learn.
This is preparation Because,listen, the goal isn't, like I
said, it isn't just aboutgetting through today.
The goal is raising kids whoknow how to handle tomorrow.
It's the small shifts to bigwins.
That's how we fly Dinnerwithout the meltdown.
(07:49):
The fridge plan that savessanity and some cash.
Now, nothing wrecks a good dayfaster than a five o'clock with
a no plan.
You know the drill Everyone'shangry, you're tired and
suddenly, well, fast food or afrozen pizza feels like the only
option.
But it doesn't happen to bethat way, right?
Listen, I learned as a singlemom, real quick a simple, fridge
(08:13):
friendly system that both meand my son could survive the
week without losing our sanity.
Okay, and here's what workedfor us.
We started out every Fridaynight we would do what I call a
quick huddle 10 minutes top weare not doing an hour and got
time for that.
We would scan the week aheadfor practices, school projects,
(08:34):
bible studies, church events, mywork schedule, his homework
load, and that all got added tothis fridge-friendly plan that
I'm going to link to later.
Then for me, I would plan outthe meals for that week based on
the ease and events in theupcoming week.
Then on Saturday, after usuallysome sporting event that we
attended, for him someextracurricular activity, I then
(08:56):
placed a grocery order and thenSunday after church we would
pick it up.
Boom done, shakalaka done.
That little rhythm.
Yeah, it saved me and it keptme organized because I only
bought what matched the plan.
And it kept me sane because Ididn't have to drag them all
through the store aisles beggingfor candy at the checkout line.
(09:17):
You know what I'm talking about.
And here's what it also did itkept us on a budget because I
wasn't stuck running into theyou know the pricier store
option that just happens to beon every other corner.
So it is convenient.
And then came Sunday.
Sunday was afternoon meal prepday.
I would chop, cook and getproteins ready for the week.
(09:39):
He'd help where he could,setting out fruit stirring a pot
, packing snacks.
But he also had his ownresponsibilities because he had
homework he had to finish.
He had to get his schoolplanner ready.
Listen, I wasn't caring at alljust because I was mom.
Oh no, remember, I waspreparing him to fly.
So here's how we made it simpleand you can do this too.
(10:02):
I followed what I call a 2-1-1formula Two, call my easy wins.
Crock pot, chicken or sheet panmeal covered those crazy nights
.
And one night I chose somethingactually that I wanted to cook
(10:25):
because, listen, ladies, Iwanted to feed my soul too and I
always made extra portions.
Listen, I made extra portionsbecause that then later got
packed for our lunches tomorrow.
And on the side, I always keptan emergency list that had two
freezer meals, two pantrybackups and one store deli night
.
Because, listen, chaos doesn'tget to surprise us.
(10:47):
No, girl, I came ready.
So we use what I call thisfridge friendly plan.
Who say that real fast.
It was a weekly meal andactivity planner okay, and
you're going to be able to grabyours in the show notes.
It had four simple columns onethat include the day of the week
, the activities, the dinner Iwas going to prepare and the
(11:08):
prep time.
For example, day I put MondayUnder the activity section.
Let's say there was soccer atsix.
Under the dinner section I hadplanned chicken rice, broccoli
bowls, and then in the prep timeI could see 25 minutes.
I could clearly glaze and gazeat it and see ahead of the week
(11:28):
what I needed to do to keep mysanity and keep my family on
track.
Now, if it wasn't on the fridge, it didn't exist.
So post it, highlight the crazydays and match your meals to
the madness.
So here's a rule that you canadopt for your family.
Everybody eats and everybodyhelps.
That means littles can pick upthe fruit and set out napkins,
(11:51):
middles can pack tomorrow'slunch and load the dishwasher,
teens can chop, stir, update thecalendar and lead cleanup.
And young adults living at homeyes, well, they get a full
dinner night, plan, shop, cookclean, or they'd find a takeout
night out of their paycheck.
Because, listen, like I saidbefore, if you're earning, you
are learning also to contribute.
This is not a free hotel.
(12:12):
Something else that I mightsuggest as well is something
that you could put on the fridgewith post-it notes for when
things run low in the middle ofthe week, because sometimes you
might need to do a little topoff, and you could post that on
the fridge and if mom's got time, she can go pick it up.
Now listen, when your kidsbecome teens, well, give them a
list and a dollar amount thatthey could add to your grocery
(12:32):
weekly meal plan list.
Okay, keep it under, let's say,$50.
Now, in my opinion, that's notjust grocery shopping.
You are giving them a lifeskill and, remember, we're
teaching them how to fly.
So here's how all this prepprepared us, though, for a day,
for example, in the morning,this is what I do I pull the
(12:52):
protein out to thaw, that's,let's say, monday After school,
my son.
He would empty his backpack andget his lunches ready while I
started dinner, and then, afterdishes, we would set out the
coffee, fill the water bottlesand set out tomorrow's shoes.
You see, we landed today, sotomorrow we could take off.
You see, we didn't just makedinner, we made margin, time
(13:16):
margin, money margin, peacemargin.
Those small shifts, they turnedinto big wins, and that's what
you want too, ladies.
That's what I want for you.
So grab that planner, post itwhere your eyeballs live.
Let your kids, whether they'relittle, middle teen or young
adult, carry their piece of theload.
Whether they're little, middleteen or young adult, carry their
(13:37):
piece of the load, becauseyou're not running a restaurant,
you're running a family, andwhen everybody plays their part,
chaos doesn't get the last word.
You do.
Total boss moves, mind-blowingtruth why these small shifts are
a big deal.
All right, ladies, let's getreal.
These little systems that we'rebuilding, they're not just cute
ideas on Pinterest, they'repowerful and there's stats that
(13:58):
prove it.
First, the time factor.
Okay, so there are studies thatsay that the average American
spends about two and a half daysa year just looking for
misplaced stuff shoes, keys orhomework.
That's half a work week lost tochaos.
And added up a backpack spot bythe door.
Well, it isn't just tidy, it'stime strategy that literally
(14:20):
gives you days of life back.
And second, what about theroutines that don't make you a
drill sergeant?
Well, they make you calmer.
Research shows that familieswith consistent routines report
lower stress for parents andbetter behavior in kids.
Translation.
When your crew knows what'shappening, their nervous systems
(14:42):
settle and so does yours.
Rhythm equals peace.
And third, the dinner plan.
Well, that's not just aboutbroccoli, oh no, it's about
money.
Right now, the average familyspends around $480 a month
eating out.
That's nearly six grand a year.
Even if you trim that by twomeals a week, you're talking
(15:07):
hundreds back in your pocketevery month, girl.
That's gas money, sports feesor that's the family trip you've
been putting off.
Now here's what I want you to do, and I want you to grab your
pen or paper right now.
Because, listen, this is thereflection that hit me hard as a
single mom.
Break it down.
(15:28):
Think about this for a moment.
How much do you actually makean hour?
Then what I want you to do islook at how much you spend on
food in a week.
Let's say you're working 80hours in two weeks.
Are you spending more on foodthan you're making in that time?
And if you are and my guess alot of you are what is that
(15:51):
really costing you?
Because, listen, it's costingyou something, not just
financially, but physically,emotionally and spiritually, for
example.
Physically, are you exhaustedbecause you're always scrambling
.
Emotionally, are you stressedbecause money's slipping through
your fingers?
Spiritually, are you distractedfrom what matters most, because
survival mode is draining?
(16:12):
You See, this isn't about beinga perfect meal prep mom,
although it is an importantdetail.
This is about alignment, makingsure your time, your money and
your energy they are actuallyworking for you and not against
you.
And the crazy thing, it doesn'ttake massive change.
It takes small shifts,10-minute huddles, a fridge plan
(16:35):
, everybody owning their role.
That is total boss moves.
So here's a simple check-inthat you could do every Sunday.
I call it the win learn.
Next, ask your crew what's onewin from this week?
Two, what did we learn?
What tripped us up this week?
(16:56):
And three, what's one thingwe'll try next week?
That's it.
Spend, say, 30 seconds.
You see these changes.
They will change the gamebecause suddenly your family is
now noticing wins, naming gapsand choosing next steps.
And you, mama, listen, you'renot the lone hero anymore,
(17:17):
you're leading a crew, reflect,reset and rise.
So listen, my boss.
Ladies, before you race offinto the next thing in your day,
let's slow your roll down for aminute.
I want you to take thesequestions with you this week.
They're in the show notes soyou don't have to remember them
all right now.
Okay, but here's how I will usethem in my upcoming week and
(17:40):
how you should use them in yourupcoming week.
So, for example, I want you towrite down and think about one
boss move, what's one smallshift you made?
And this is for the upcomingweek?
Okay, this is something you'regoing to reflect on.
What's one small shift you madeor you're about to make, that
bought back time, peace or evena little money?
(18:00):
Two, one sticky spot.
I want you to identify that.
Where did chaos sneak in?
Was it time, money or energy?
And then three one next step.
For example, what tiny tweak areyou going to try this week?
I don't know, maybe it's shoesby the door a Friday night,
huddle, grocery pickup afterchurch or handing your teen a
(18:21):
dinner night.
Now, if you've got teens oryoung adults in your house,
invite them to play along.
Have them write down in theirown journal my win what
responsibility do I own thisweek?
My learn what is one thing thatI'm going to do differently
this next week and my next Onweek?
My learn what is one thing thatI'm going to do differently
this next week and my next Onwhich day will I take the lead,
whether it's dinner laundry orupdating the family calendar.
(18:43):
Forgive me.
And here's the money andmeaning reflection that hits
hard.
And this is for your ownjournal, and maybe your young
adults can do this too.
What is my hourly rate?
I want you to write that downand what did I actually spend on
food the last week and thenidentify am I spending more in
those same hours that I'm making?
And if I am, what is it costingme?
(19:06):
I mean not just financially, butphysically.
Am I fatigued?
Emotionally, am I stressed?
And spiritually, am Idistracted?
Am I not in the word enough?
So then, what's a change that Ican do to test this week to
bring my money and my valuesback into alignment?
So, ladies, I know we'vecovered a lot and my brain is
hurting right now.
(19:26):
I'm sure yours is too.
So let's take a deep breath andremember small shifts lead to
big wins.
You're not running a restaurant, you're leading a crew.
Post that weekly meal andactivity planner on the fridge
Place, that Saturday order Swingthrough Sunday pickup and let
the whole house carry the loadwith you and, mama, if you feel
(19:52):
like you're still carrying morethan you can hold, please call
our 24-hour prayer line at855-822-PRAY.
You don't have to do this alone.
There's someone ready to liftyou up any time, day or night.
So here's my prayer for you,father, thank you for this mom
listening right now.
Strengthen her when she feelsweak.
(20:12):
Remind her she's never aloneand give her the wisdom to lead
her family with grace and somegrit.
Teach her kids to step up, tocarry their part and to see what
it means to live as a team.
Multiply her time.
Stretch her dollars and pourout peace in her home In Jesus'
name amen.
All right, ladies, that is awrap for today.
(20:34):
Remember when the breakdownsshow up, you've got what it
takes to turn them intobackpacks, breakdowns and total
boss moods.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you Thanks for listening
to.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
It's a Single Mom
Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.