June 23, 2025 • 20 mins
When the dust settles after divorce or loss, you're often left asking, "Who even am I now?" In this honest and hope-filled episode, Sherry walks with you through the sacred process of rebuilding confidence—not into who you were, but into who you’re becoming.
You’ll explore what it means to rediscover your voice, your preferences, your identity—and most importantly, your faith. From guarding your peace to grieving with purpose, setting new boundaries to re-rooting your relationship with God, this episode is your gentle yet powerful guide to bouncing back stronger.
Featuring:
- A Bounce Back Blueprint to help you reflect, anchor, and take action
- Encouragement for mamas wondering when it’s “okay” to love again
- Insight on how your healing impacts your kids
- A heartfelt prayer for those feeling pressed, but not crushed
- An invitation to our 24-hour prayer line: 855-822-PRAY
You’re not starting over—you’re starting stronger.
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Well, hey, hey, hey, and hellothere, my mamas.
So I'm going to open our timetogether with a little question
(00:21):
for you.
Have you ever stared in themirror and thought, well, who am
I now?
Well, you're not alone, whetheryou're walking through a
divorce, grieving a relationshipyou thought would last, or
feeling like you lost yourselfsomewhere along the way.
This episode is for you Because, listen, today I want to tell
(00:43):
you something true and tender.
Yes, I can be tender, believeit or not.
You can, my sister.
You can bounce back, and notjust back to who you were.
You can bounce forward into whoGod is making you to be.
Oh, that is so delicious, am Iright?
(01:03):
So today, let's talk about thistasty treat and that is how to
bounce back better, becausebroken doesn't mean done and
loss doesn't get the final word.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's a Single Mom Thing,
sing-a-mom thing.
When confidence crashes, lostin the mirror, who am I now
(01:27):
without him?
So let's be honest.
When the relationship ends, youknow it's not just the person
who's gone.
Sometimes it feels like you aretoo, am I right?
You know, when you look in themirror and the face staring back
(01:48):
at you seems unfamiliar, it'slike all the lines of who you
are got blurred over time.
You're not even sure what youlook like anymore.
Did you actually love that show,or did he, and so you watched
it too?
Did you really enjoy that sushispot every Friday night, or was
that just his favorite and youtagged along?
Were those your peeps at thebarbecue, or were they his
(02:11):
friends you learned to laughwith Somewhere along the way?
I wonder if you became anaccessory to someone else's
identity and now, without it,you're unsure.
Where he ends and you begin, amI hitting a hard spot there?
Good, then you need to stayhere, because listen, and maybe,
(02:34):
maybe, maybe it wasn't all bad.
Maybe it felt like love toshare his world.
But now, trying to live in yourown skin his world, but now
trying to live in your own skin,you're discovering how much of
your world was built on hispreferences, his priorities,
maybe even his presence.
Even your voice may sounddifferent, like you're speaking
(02:55):
in fragments.
Well, why is that?
Because maybe he alwaysfinished your sentences.
He filled in the blanks,answered the waiter for you,
explained your thoughts andconversations and now that he's
gone, well, now you're lefttrying to finish your own
sentences, literally andemotionally.
That can be a little janky.
(03:16):
It says you're trying to findyour voice again and listen.
That takes time.
So if you feel uncertain,awkward, even a little lost,
maybe I'm here to tell you thatthere is nothing, and hear my
words, nothing wrong with you.
So you need to give yourselfsome grace.
(03:37):
You're not broken.
You are becoming.
This season that you now findyourself in, this is the season
unlearning before therediscovery, the undoing before
the rebuilding.
And it's okay if you don't haveall the answers right now.
You're not who you used to beand you don't yet know who
(04:01):
you're becoming.
But here's my promise you willand she's going to be someone
you actually recognize, someonewho yes, her yes means yes whose
voice is steady and whosepreferences are her own.
So here is the pep talk thatyou need to have with yourself,
and maybe you could even writethis in your journal, if you
(04:22):
remember to bring it with you.
And that is, and write thisdown, I quote I may be
relearning who I am, but I amworth rediscovering.
Rebuilding starts with astronger foundation, so laying a
new ground after love is lost,that is where we're headed next.
(04:42):
So, now that the storm haspassed and you're standing on
what may be a cracked foundation, trying to figure out how to
rebuild it and let me tell youthis don't rush to build a tower
on top of rubble.
This, my sister, is your momentto pour a new and stronger
(05:03):
foundation, one that's not builton someone else's opinions or
the approval you used to chase,but on truth, identity and peace
.
You see, you don't owe theworld a quick fix.
You don't owe yourself adeadline.
What you do owe yourself,however, is time Time to heal,
(05:27):
to reflect and reclaim.
So, number one how do you dothat?
Well, you're going to do thatby pouring a new foundation.
You see, rebuilding confidenceafter a loss starts from the
ground up.
This time, though, however, weare pouring concrete with
intention.
You see, you are learning whatmatters to you.
(05:51):
You are deciding who getsaccess to your life and how much
.
You're not giving someone level10 access when they've only
earned level two clearance, justbecause someone shows up.
Listen, my girl, and I knowthis might sting.
It doesn't mean they get tosettle in.
That's not being guarded, it'sbeing wise.
(06:14):
You've lived through giving toomuch of yourself away, am I
right?
So this time, why don't you dothings differently this time?
Can you learn how to guard yourpeace like it's sacred?
Because, listen, it is Numbertwo grieve, don't grab.
I'm going to say that againGrieve, don't grab.
(06:36):
Sometimes we rush to find areplacement just to quiet the
ache.
I know I'm right, because Ihave done this too, you see, but
rebounding before rebuildingonly leads to another crash.
Ladies, let yourself grievewhat was lost.
Not just the person, though,however, but the promises, the
(07:00):
shared dreams, even the goodmemories.
You don't have to hate them toheal.
You just have to be honestabout that chapter and what it
taught you and why you'rechoosing not to reread it.
You see, I have found that everyrelationship comes with a
hidden gift.
Sometimes it's love, butsometimes it's a lesson, and
(07:24):
then sometimes it's both.
Number three love yourselffirst, so you don't lose
yourself again.
Now, there's a differencebetween loving someone deeply
and disappearing into themcompletely.
You may find yourself thereright now.
You may have loved them morethan you loved yourself.
(07:44):
Have you ever noticed that?
But now listen.
Now it's time to flip thatscript, as we do in every
podcast.
You see, you matter, your needsmatter and your boundaries
matter.
You were never meant to shrinkto fit someone else's life.
You were meant to grow intoyour own.
(08:05):
This is your season to love youbetter, stronger, deeper.
So the next time love comesalong, you don't vanish in its
shadow.
You shine.
Number four let's talk about thekids, because this is a truth.
Talk here If you're a mama andmost of you are this part is
(08:26):
sacred.
Maybe he was their dad, ormaybe he was a strong male
presence in their life for awhile.
Either way, this loss doesn'tjust echo in your heart, my dear
.
It ripples through theirs too.
So my advice to you while yourebuild is to let them see you
doing it with grace, notbitterness.
(08:48):
Talk with them, cry with them.
Let them feel safe in the truththat people may leave, but life
listen.
People may leave, listen, butI'm gonna go back, but love
doesn't have to.
And then let them witness yourbounce back, not into perfection
, but into peace, because,listen, what you do today we
(09:10):
have talked about this beforeimpacts their tomorrow.
So here's a little pep talk youneed to have with yourself and
maybe even with your kids, andyou might want to write this
down in your journal, and it'sI'm not rebuilding to be who I
was, I'm rebuilding to becomewho I was always meant to be.
(09:31):
Faith fueled confidence fromhurt to what I like to call
blessing, letting God rebuildwhat was torn down.
So if there's one thing thatI've learned through every
cracked heart and there havebeen many closed doors and a
season of silence it is this Godnever wastes a hurt, he
(09:51):
transforms it, and when we lethim, that pain becomes a
blessing.
And that is a lesson wrapped ina blessing we never saw coming.
You're crushed, but notdestroyed.
You may feel like the weight ofyour story has pressed you down
, and maybe it has.
But hear me, my sweet friend,pressed is not the same as
(10:14):
crushed.
In fact, you know that the bestolive oil only comes from an
olive that's been pressed thatpressure that breaking it was,
and it releases the richness,the anointing and the purpose.
So now you're not beingdestroyed, you're being poured,
(10:37):
you're being refined, you'rebeing prepared for something
that could never come withoutthe press Purpose in the pain.
Now I won't pretend.
God's plan always makes sense.
His ways are not our ways.
You know that, girl, and histhoughts they are way higher
than ours.
Sometimes, I have found hisplan doesn't show up in a neat
(11:01):
bow, sometimes it looks like astorm or silence or even
surrender, but even when youdon't see it, he's still working
.
If you let him, god will usethis pain to rebuild and
refortify the most importantrelationship you have and that's
(11:21):
the one you have with him,because he doesn't want you just
patched up, girl, please.
He wants you anchored, rooted,secure in him.
You see, a love story thatstays.
The world may have taught youthat love leaves, that it pulls
away when you need it most, butGod, he stays, he holds and he
(11:46):
restores.
Sometimes he removes what wethought we couldn't live without
, to show us we were never aloneto begin with.
So this season listen, ladies, Iknow the season is hard it's a
hard, holy rebuild.
It isn't just about healingfrom the loss of him, though.
It's about reconnecting withthe greater him your father,
(12:09):
your sustainer, your safe place.
You see, he's not asking forperfection, he's asking for
presence, yours for perfection.
He's asking for presence, yoursTo sit at his feet, to let him
be the balm to your bruisedheart, to let his love reshape
your identity, because when theconfidence of this world fails
(12:30):
you, the confidence in Christwill fill you.
So I got a little scripture toanchor that in, and it's from 2
Corinthians 4, 8, and it saysthis we are hard pressed on
every side, but not crushed.
Perplexed but not in despair.
Ladies, let that wash over you.
(12:50):
Today You're not crushed,you're being crafted.
So here's a little pep talk Ihave for you, before we're going
to go into a little bit ofprayer I have for you, and
that's God's not just using thepain, he's producing something
precious in me because of it.
So pressed but not crushed,let's take a moment just to
(13:13):
breathe, wherever you aredriving, walking, folding
laundry even.
Let this be a pause, a reset, aconversation with your Holy
Father, who's never far away butright there with you.
Lord Jesus, father, god, I'mtired, I'm hurting.
Sometimes I feel like I'mlosing more than I am learning.
(13:36):
But today and in this moment, Ichoose to believe you don't
waste a single tear, that everyache in my chest is being used,
shaped and redeemed.
Even when I don't understandyour ways, I want to trust your
heart.
Help me stop clinging to thebroken pieces of what was and
(13:57):
start leaning into the beauty ofwhat could be.
God, I feel the press, but Ithank you that I'm not crushed.
I thank you that what the enemymeant to destroy me you are
using to develop me.
Help me to love you more, notjust when things are good, but
here, in the hard, in thein-between, in the rebuilding,
(14:20):
in the quiet, even.
And, lord, as I rebuild myconfidence, help me first to
rebuild my connection with you.
Remind me, I'm not forgotten,I'm not too much, I'm not too
broken.
I'm not too broken, I'm notalone.
You are near to thebrokenhearted and I'm ready to
feel you near me now, in Jesus'name, amen.
(14:43):
So I got a bounce backblueprint for you, and that
might be so.
What now?
You might be there right nowsaying what now?
You've cried, you question, youfelt the press, but not the
crush.
Ladies, now it's time to rise.
But before you add anyone newto your life, let me say
something tender but true.
(15:04):
You don't need a newrelationship to validate your
healing.
You need time.
Give healing a holy pause.
Now I know loneliness canwhisper all kinds of things,
especially late at night.
I certainly understand that,but I also understand that
rushing into something newbefore the old wound has even
(15:24):
scabbed over that's likepainting over a cracked wall
It'll only crumble again.
So here's a good rule of thumbGive yourself a season, not a
weekend, not just enough time tofeel better, but enough to get
better, to know your triggers,to rewrite your patterns, to
(15:45):
recognize the red flags and, yes, to fall in love with your own
company again.
Learn how to be your own bestfriend.
You're not on a timeline,you're not on a healing track.
So I ask you, can you honor it?
How will you know when you'reready for something new?
You might even be askingyourself that, well, here are
(16:06):
some things that you will lookfor when you're not looking for
someone to complete you but tocompliment the whole person
you've become.
When your peace isn't sofragile that one text message
can shatter it.
Or even when your identitydoesn't depend on someone else's
interest, that's a good one.
Or when your standards arerooted in your healing, not your
(16:30):
hurting.
But what about the kids?
Well, this part, it is sacredand you have to honor it.
If you got little ones watchingyou and you do, because you're
single mamas here your healing,I have to tell you isn't just
about you.
It's about showing them thatlove doesn't mean losing
yourself.
Boundaries are beautiful andmama is whole on her own.
(16:55):
You see, before you invitesomeone new into your home, you
probably need to ask yourselfcan they carry the weight of my
kids' hearts too?
Because, listen, your childrenaren't just spectators, their
participants and their readinessmatters just as much as yours.
So give them time to grieve, torecalibrate, to ask their
(17:20):
questions, to feel safe in thisnew version of your family,
before bringing in someone new.
And listen when you're ready,you'll know, because you won't
be searching to fill a void.
Listen when you're ready,you'll know, because you won't
be searching to fill a void.
You'll be walking in fullnessand you'll have the wisdom to
protect what you've worked sohard to rebuild.
(17:41):
Now, before I close, let's goback to that blueprint that I
promised you.
You see, better doesn't meanshiny, it means stronger.
You see, you didn't bounce backinto who you were, you bounced
forward into who you're becoming.
Let's build your bounce backblueprint by doing this.
Number one I hope you got yourjournal ready, because we're
going to do a journal prompthere, and I want you to write
(18:03):
three questions.
Number one what did I lose, whatdid I learn and what am I ready
to gain?
Then, two, I want you to dowhat I'm calling is an anchor
check and write down who are mythree lifelines and have I
reached out to them lately?
And then number three, there'san action step and you need to
(18:26):
write what one brave thing can Ido this week?
And two, even if it's scary,can I do it scared?
And, ladies, my advice to youis, when the day feels heavy and
it will speak this overyourself, even when I'm knocked
down, I'm not knocked out,ladies, you're not broken,
(18:49):
you're being rebuilt.
You're not behind, you're beingaligned.
You're not just bouncing back,you are bouncing forward.
And, mama, that bounce back, itlooks so beautiful on you.
So if you're in the middle of arebuild, if you're sorting
through what was lost, whatstill hurts and who you're
(19:09):
becoming, please know you don'thave to do it alone.
We are here for you and, moreimportantly, god is here for you
.
He sees every tear, holds everypiece and is already working a
bounce back better than you canimagine.
And if today just feels heavy,if you need someone to believe
with you, to pray with you, tosimply stand in the gap.
(19:30):
Call our 24-hour prayer lineanytime at 855-822-PRAY that's
855-822-7729.
We're not just on the other end.
We're ready to lift you up andspeak hope over your life,
because we know healing is hard.
But with God and with a villageof support, you don't have to
(19:52):
do it alone Until next time.
Keep rebuilding, keep believingand always remember your
comeback's already in progress.
It may be a single mom thing,but it is not the single thing
that's going to stop you.
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether, our time together.
(20:14):
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Well, hey, hey, hey, and hellothere, my mamas.
So I'm going to open our timetogether with a little question
(00:21):
for you.
Have you ever stared in themirror and thought, well, who am
I now?
Well, you're not alone, whetheryou're walking through a
divorce, grieving a relationshipyou thought would last, or
feeling like you lost yourselfsomewhere along the way.
This episode is for you Because, listen, today I want to tell
(00:43):
you something true and tender.
Yes, I can be tender, believeit or not.
You can, my sister.
You can bounce back, and notjust back to who you were.
You can bounce forward into whoGod is making you to be.
Oh, that is so delicious, am Iright?
(01:03):
So today, let's talk about thistasty treat and that is how to
bounce back better, becausebroken doesn't mean done and
loss doesn't get the final word.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's a Single Mom Thing,
sing-a-mom thing.
When confidence crashes, lostin the mirror, who am I now
(01:27):
without him?
So let's be honest.
When the relationship ends, youknow it's not just the person
who's gone.
Sometimes it feels like you aretoo, am I right?
You know, when you look in themirror and the face staring back
(01:48):
at you seems unfamiliar, it'slike all the lines of who you
are got blurred over time.
You're not even sure what youlook like anymore.
Did you actually love that show,or did he, and so you watched
it too?
Did you really enjoy that sushispot every Friday night, or was
that just his favorite and youtagged along?
Were those your peeps at thebarbecue, or were they his
(02:11):
friends you learned to laughwith Somewhere along the way?
I wonder if you became anaccessory to someone else's
identity and now, without it,you're unsure.
Where he ends and you begin, amI hitting a hard spot there?
Good, then you need to stayhere, because listen, and maybe,
(02:34):
maybe, maybe it wasn't all bad.
Maybe it felt like love toshare his world.
But now, trying to live in yourown skin his world, but now
trying to live in your own skin,you're discovering how much of
your world was built on hispreferences, his priorities,
maybe even his presence.
Even your voice may sounddifferent, like you're speaking
(02:55):
in fragments.
Well, why is that?
Because maybe he alwaysfinished your sentences.
He filled in the blanks,answered the waiter for you,
explained your thoughts andconversations and now that he's
gone, well, now you're lefttrying to finish your own
sentences, literally andemotionally.
That can be a little janky.
(03:16):
It says you're trying to findyour voice again and listen.
That takes time.
So if you feel uncertain,awkward, even a little lost,
maybe I'm here to tell you thatthere is nothing, and hear my
words, nothing wrong with you.
So you need to give yourselfsome grace.
(03:37):
You're not broken.
You are becoming.
This season that you now findyourself in, this is the season
unlearning before therediscovery, the undoing before
the rebuilding.
And it's okay if you don't haveall the answers right now.
You're not who you used to beand you don't yet know who
(04:01):
you're becoming.
But here's my promise you willand she's going to be someone
you actually recognize, someonewho yes, her yes means yes whose
voice is steady and whosepreferences are her own.
So here is the pep talk thatyou need to have with yourself,
and maybe you could even writethis in your journal, if you
(04:22):
remember to bring it with you.
And that is, and write thisdown, I quote I may be
relearning who I am, but I amworth rediscovering.
Rebuilding starts with astronger foundation, so laying a
new ground after love is lost,that is where we're headed next.
(04:42):
So, now that the storm haspassed and you're standing on
what may be a cracked foundation, trying to figure out how to
rebuild it and let me tell youthis don't rush to build a tower
on top of rubble.
This, my sister, is your momentto pour a new and stronger
(05:03):
foundation, one that's not builton someone else's opinions or
the approval you used to chase,but on truth, identity and peace
.
You see, you don't owe theworld a quick fix.
You don't owe yourself adeadline.
What you do owe yourself,however, is time Time to heal,
(05:27):
to reflect and reclaim.
So, number one how do you dothat?
Well, you're going to do thatby pouring a new foundation.
You see, rebuilding confidenceafter a loss starts from the
ground up.
This time, though, however, weare pouring concrete with
intention.
You see, you are learning whatmatters to you.
(05:51):
You are deciding who getsaccess to your life and how much
.
You're not giving someone level10 access when they've only
earned level two clearance, justbecause someone shows up.
Listen, my girl, and I knowthis might sting.
It doesn't mean they get tosettle in.
That's not being guarded, it'sbeing wise.
(06:14):
You've lived through giving toomuch of yourself away, am I
right?
So this time, why don't you dothings differently this time?
Can you learn how to guard yourpeace like it's sacred?
Because, listen, it is Numbertwo grieve, don't grab.
I'm going to say that againGrieve, don't grab.
(06:36):
Sometimes we rush to find areplacement just to quiet the
ache.
I know I'm right, because Ihave done this too, you see, but
rebounding before rebuildingonly leads to another crash.
Ladies, let yourself grievewhat was lost.
Not just the person, though,however, but the promises, the
(07:00):
shared dreams, even the goodmemories.
You don't have to hate them toheal.
You just have to be honestabout that chapter and what it
taught you and why you'rechoosing not to reread it.
You see, I have found that everyrelationship comes with a
hidden gift.
Sometimes it's love, butsometimes it's a lesson, and
(07:24):
then sometimes it's both.
Number three love yourselffirst, so you don't lose
yourself again.
Now, there's a differencebetween loving someone deeply
and disappearing into themcompletely.
You may find yourself thereright now.
You may have loved them morethan you loved yourself.
(07:44):
Have you ever noticed that?
But now listen.
Now it's time to flip thatscript, as we do in every
podcast.
You see, you matter, your needsmatter and your boundaries
matter.
You were never meant to shrinkto fit someone else's life.
You were meant to grow intoyour own.
(08:05):
This is your season to love youbetter, stronger, deeper.
So the next time love comesalong, you don't vanish in its
shadow.
You shine.
Number four let's talk about thekids, because this is a truth.
Talk here If you're a mama andmost of you are this part is
(08:26):
sacred.
Maybe he was their dad, ormaybe he was a strong male
presence in their life for awhile.
Either way, this loss doesn'tjust echo in your heart, my dear
.
It ripples through theirs too.
So my advice to you while yourebuild is to let them see you
doing it with grace, notbitterness.
(08:48):
Talk with them, cry with them.
Let them feel safe in the truththat people may leave, but life
listen.
People may leave, listen, butI'm gonna go back, but love
doesn't have to.
And then let them witness yourbounce back, not into perfection
, but into peace, because,listen, what you do today we
(09:10):
have talked about this beforeimpacts their tomorrow.
So here's a little pep talk youneed to have with yourself and
maybe even with your kids, andyou might want to write this
down in your journal, and it'sI'm not rebuilding to be who I
was, I'm rebuilding to becomewho I was always meant to be.
(09:31):
Faith fueled confidence fromhurt to what I like to call
blessing, letting God rebuildwhat was torn down.
So if there's one thing thatI've learned through every
cracked heart and there havebeen many closed doors and a
season of silence it is this Godnever wastes a hurt, he
(09:51):
transforms it, and when we lethim, that pain becomes a
blessing.
And that is a lesson wrapped ina blessing we never saw coming.
You're crushed, but notdestroyed.
You may feel like the weight ofyour story has pressed you down
, and maybe it has.
But hear me, my sweet friend,pressed is not the same as
(10:14):
crushed.
In fact, you know that the bestolive oil only comes from an
olive that's been pressed thatpressure that breaking it was,
and it releases the richness,the anointing and the purpose.
So now you're not beingdestroyed, you're being poured,
(10:37):
you're being refined, you'rebeing prepared for something
that could never come withoutthe press Purpose in the pain.
Now I won't pretend.
God's plan always makes sense.
His ways are not our ways.
You know that, girl, and histhoughts they are way higher
than ours.
Sometimes, I have found hisplan doesn't show up in a neat
(11:01):
bow, sometimes it looks like astorm or silence or even
surrender, but even when youdon't see it, he's still working
.
If you let him, god will usethis pain to rebuild and
refortify the most importantrelationship you have and that's
(11:21):
the one you have with him,because he doesn't want you just
patched up, girl, please.
He wants you anchored, rooted,secure in him.
You see, a love story thatstays.
The world may have taught youthat love leaves, that it pulls
away when you need it most, butGod, he stays, he holds and he
(11:46):
restores.
Sometimes he removes what wethought we couldn't live without
, to show us we were never aloneto begin with.
So this season listen, ladies, Iknow the season is hard it's a
hard, holy rebuild.
It isn't just about healingfrom the loss of him, though.
It's about reconnecting withthe greater him your father,
(12:09):
your sustainer, your safe place.
You see, he's not asking forperfection, he's asking for
presence, yours for perfection.
He's asking for presence, yoursTo sit at his feet, to let him
be the balm to your bruisedheart, to let his love reshape
your identity, because when theconfidence of this world fails
(12:30):
you, the confidence in Christwill fill you.
So I got a little scripture toanchor that in, and it's from 2
Corinthians 4, 8, and it saysthis we are hard pressed on
every side, but not crushed.
Perplexed but not in despair.
Ladies, let that wash over you.
(12:50):
Today You're not crushed,you're being crafted.
So here's a little pep talk Ihave for you, before we're going
to go into a little bit ofprayer I have for you, and
that's God's not just using thepain, he's producing something
precious in me because of it.
So pressed but not crushed,let's take a moment just to
(13:13):
breathe, wherever you aredriving, walking, folding
laundry even.
Let this be a pause, a reset, aconversation with your Holy
Father, who's never far away butright there with you.
Lord Jesus, father, god, I'mtired, I'm hurting.
Sometimes I feel like I'mlosing more than I am learning.
(13:36):
But today and in this moment, Ichoose to believe you don't
waste a single tear, that everyache in my chest is being used,
shaped and redeemed.
Even when I don't understandyour ways, I want to trust your
heart.
Help me stop clinging to thebroken pieces of what was and
(13:57):
start leaning into the beauty ofwhat could be.
God, I feel the press, but Ithank you that I'm not crushed.
I thank you that what the enemymeant to destroy me you are
using to develop me.
Help me to love you more, notjust when things are good, but
here, in the hard, in thein-between, in the rebuilding,
(14:20):
in the quiet, even.
And, lord, as I rebuild myconfidence, help me first to
rebuild my connection with you.
Remind me, I'm not forgotten,I'm not too much, I'm not too
broken.
I'm not too broken, I'm notalone.
You are near to thebrokenhearted and I'm ready to
feel you near me now, in Jesus'name, amen.
(14:43):
So I got a bounce backblueprint for you, and that
might be so.
What now?
You might be there right nowsaying what now?
You've cried, you question, youfelt the press, but not the
crush.
Ladies, now it's time to rise.
But before you add anyone newto your life, let me say
something tender but true.
(15:04):
You don't need a newrelationship to validate your
healing.
You need time.
Give healing a holy pause.
Now I know loneliness canwhisper all kinds of things,
especially late at night.
I certainly understand that,but I also understand that
rushing into something newbefore the old wound has even
(15:24):
scabbed over that's likepainting over a cracked wall
It'll only crumble again.
So here's a good rule of thumbGive yourself a season, not a
weekend, not just enough time tofeel better, but enough to get
better, to know your triggers,to rewrite your patterns, to
(15:45):
recognize the red flags and, yes, to fall in love with your own
company again.
Learn how to be your own bestfriend.
You're not on a timeline,you're not on a healing track.
So I ask you, can you honor it?
How will you know when you'reready for something new?
You might even be askingyourself that, well, here are
(16:06):
some things that you will lookfor when you're not looking for
someone to complete you but tocompliment the whole person
you've become.
When your peace isn't sofragile that one text message
can shatter it.
Or even when your identitydoesn't depend on someone else's
interest, that's a good one.
Or when your standards arerooted in your healing, not your
(16:30):
hurting.
But what about the kids?
Well, this part, it is sacredand you have to honor it.
If you got little ones watchingyou and you do, because you're
single mamas here your healing,I have to tell you isn't just
about you.
It's about showing them thatlove doesn't mean losing
yourself.
Boundaries are beautiful andmama is whole on her own.
(16:55):
You see, before you invitesomeone new into your home, you
probably need to ask yourselfcan they carry the weight of my
kids' hearts too?
Because, listen, your childrenaren't just spectators, their
participants and their readinessmatters just as much as yours.
So give them time to grieve, torecalibrate, to ask their
(17:20):
questions, to feel safe in thisnew version of your family,
before bringing in someone new.
And listen when you're ready,you'll know, because you won't
be searching to fill a void.
Listen when you're ready,you'll know, because you won't
be searching to fill a void.
You'll be walking in fullnessand you'll have the wisdom to
protect what you've worked sohard to rebuild.
(17:41):
Now, before I close, let's goback to that blueprint that I
promised you.
You see, better doesn't meanshiny, it means stronger.
You see, you didn't bounce backinto who you were, you bounced
forward into who you're becoming.
Let's build your bounce backblueprint by doing this.
Number one I hope you got yourjournal ready, because we're
going to do a journal prompthere, and I want you to write
(18:03):
three questions.
Number one what did I lose, whatdid I learn and what am I ready
to gain?
Then, two, I want you to dowhat I'm calling is an anchor
check and write down who are mythree lifelines and have I
reached out to them lately?
And then number three, there'san action step and you need to
(18:26):
write what one brave thing can Ido this week?
And two, even if it's scary,can I do it scared?
And, ladies, my advice to youis, when the day feels heavy and
it will speak this overyourself, even when I'm knocked
down, I'm not knocked out,ladies, you're not broken,
(18:49):
you're being rebuilt.
You're not behind, you're beingaligned.
You're not just bouncing back,you are bouncing forward.
And, mama, that bounce back, itlooks so beautiful on you.
So if you're in the middle of arebuild, if you're sorting
through what was lost, whatstill hurts and who you're
(19:09):
becoming, please know you don'thave to do it alone.
We are here for you and, moreimportantly, god is here for you
.
He sees every tear, holds everypiece and is already working a
bounce back better than you canimagine.
And if today just feels heavy,if you need someone to believe
with you, to pray with you, tosimply stand in the gap.
(19:30):
Call our 24-hour prayer lineanytime at 855-822-PRAY that's
855-822-7729.
We're not just on the other end.
We're ready to lift you up andspeak hope over your life,
because we know healing is hard.
But with God and with a villageof support, you don't have to
(19:52):
do it alone Until next time.
Keep rebuilding, keep believingand always remember your
comeback's already in progress.
It may be a single mom thing,but it is not the single thing
that's going to stop you.
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether, our time together.
(20:14):
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
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