December 16, 2024 • 12 mins
The holidays are here, and so is the potential for family drama, co-parenting conflicts, and way too much unsolicited advice. But before you reach for that spiked eggnog, tune in to this witty and heartfelt episode where Sherry shares her top tips for surviving holiday chaos with grace, humor, and faith.
From setting boundaries and managing tricky family dynamics to staying grounded when you’re doing it all solo, this episode is packed with practical strategies and spiritual encouragement to help you thrive this season.
🎄 Highlights include:
- Managing family drama without losing your cool
- Navigating co-parenting challenges with love and patience
- Handling holiday advice-givers like a pro
- Loving yourself well while holding it all together
✨ Plus: A powerful closing prayer, a reflective verse, and details about how to connect with our 24-hour prayer line for support this holiday season.
🎧 Listen now and reclaim your holiday joy—no eggnog required!
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Well, hello there, my beautifulwarriors, and welcome back to
another episode of it's a SingleMom Thing, where I keep it raw
(00:21):
and real and refreshingly honest, especially during the holidays
.
Today, I'm serving up a littleseasonal survival guide called
Don't Drink the Eggnog Survivingthe Holiday Drama.
Now, I'm not talking about theliteral eggnog, although we will
get to that.
I'm talking about thedrama-filled cocktail that comes
(00:43):
with family gatherings,co-parenting conflicts and, yeah
, those unsolicited life tipsfrom people who think they know
your best.
So, before you reach for thatspiked nog or get tempted to
stir the pot yourself, let'stalk about how to keep your
peace, protect your heart andmaybe even enjoy this holiday
(01:03):
season drama and trauma free.
So grab your cocoa girl andlet's do this.
How to keep your cool throughthe cold family holiday drama.
All right, let's kick this offby acknowledging something we
all know Family gatherings canbe a lot.
If you joined me back inNovember for our Thanksgiving
(01:25):
episode called it's All Relativewhen it comes to the relatives.
You already know the deal andthe deal breakers.
Consider this your holidayrefresher on surviving those
complicated family dynamics 2.0.
The holidays have a funny way ofbringing people together and
not always peace on earth.
Goodwill to all kind of way.
(01:46):
Sometimes it's more like passthe rolls and potatoes, please,
before this conversation getstoo real.
So here are some of my pro tipsto help you stay chill.
Number one adjust yourexpectations.
Not every holiday will looklike a hallmark movie, and
that's okay, except for the factthat family dynamics well like
(02:10):
your plate, they can often bemessy.
Go in expecting love, notperfection.
Give the gift of love even ifyou don't get it in return.
Number two pick your battles.
When Uncle Joe starts sharinghis very strong opinions about
your life choices, take a deepbreath, maybe a few more.
(02:30):
Then ask yourself is this worthmy energy?
For real, remember, yourresponse is your responsibility.
If not, smile politely, nod andwave and excuse yourself to
check out the Christmas crackthat Grandma Kate just put on
the dessert table.
Number three create adrama-free end zone.
(02:53):
Set a boundary for yourself.
If the conversation turns toxic, redirect or remove yourself.
Something like I'm going to gorefill my cocoa works Every time
, putting that conversation inthe end zone.
And number four script yourresponses.
(03:13):
Have a few go-to lines ready,like thanks for your concern.
But you know what I'm happywith how things are Keeping it
short and sweet.
Also, learn how to keep itlight like the Christmas trees.
I appreciate the advice.
We've got a system that worksgreat for us and our family.
But I'll keep that in mind,always have that one line
(03:36):
already, so when they try tocross it, you always have
something courteous yet cleverto say.
Co-parenting conflicts keepingthe kids first.
Now let's talk about theco-parenting juggling act.
That hits extra hard during theholidays.
You know split schedules, unmetexpectations and last minute
changes.
Well, they can make the seasonfeel more stressful than joyful.
(04:00):
Almost makes you want to deckthe halls with some duct tape.
So how are you going to thrivewhen things take a sudden deep
dive?
Well, girl, you're going to goto your co-parenting survival
tips.
And here you go.
We got your bags packed Ready.
Number one you're going to putthe kids first.
Remember, the holiday isn'tabout your ex, it's about the
(04:21):
extra attention your kids need,keeping their joy at the center
of every decision, even whenit's tougher than tinsel to get
off your Christmas tree.
Number two be flexible withinreason.
Life happens.
If there's room for flexibility, try to accommodate.
Do a little backbending if youwill.
If not, stick to the agreedplan and communicate clearly,
(04:46):
keeping it kind.
Number three no trash talk, nomatter what.
Avoid speaking negatively aboutthe other co-parent in front of
the kids.
If things get heated like afireplace, vent to a trusted
friend after the holiday orholiday gathering, not during it
.
Number four stay in control.
(05:10):
You can't control the otherco-parents actions, only your
responses to them.
So handle your business girlwith grace, and then erase and
replace what he just said,letting the rest go.
Handling unsolicited advice likea boss.
Let's talk about everyone'sfavorite holiday tradition
unsolicited advice.
Something about Christmasdinner, I don't know.
(05:32):
It turns people into certifiedlife coaches, even when their
own is one flush away from goingdown the toilet bowl.
So how to handle unsolicitedholiday advice?
Gift givers, you know the giftyou don't want to receive of day
advice.
Gift givers, you know the giftyou don't want to receive.
Number one smile and deflectwhen someone chimes in with you
(05:52):
with a you should really, youshould really mom.
Then just smile and say well,thanks for the suggestion, but
we've got it under control.
Then change the subject.
You see, this is another timethat I like to say to have those
one-liners ready so that youcan draw a line around your own
two feet.
Number two redirect theconversation.
(06:14):
Ask them I don't know abouttheir life.
You know people love talkingabout themselves.
It's a quick way to shift thespotlight off of you or even put
the spotlight, maybe, on yourkiddos.
Have handy the many high fivesthey got this year and spotlight
even some of their schoolsuccess.
Maybe even have some of theirhighlighted moments on your
(06:34):
phone ready to share.
Number three set a firm butkind boundary If it gets too
much.
Be direct and say somethinglike I appreciate your concern,
but you know I'm happy with howI'm handling things.
Then exit stage left when it'sjust you holding it all together
(06:55):
.
All right, this section is to myfull-time single moms who, well
, it's just you and you.
You're not handing off the kidsfor a holiday break.
It's all you all season longNow.
I know it can feel overwhelmingwhen the holiday magic and
miracles seem like it's all onyour shoulders.
But hear me on this You'redoing more than enough.
(07:16):
Every moment of love, laughterand togetherness you create is a
gift far more valuable thananything that could be wrapped
up with a bow.
You might not have someone toshare the load, but you do have
strength beyond your measure.
You're making memories,building traditions and showing
your kids what resilience, joyand unconditional love looks
(07:38):
like, even when you're runningon fumes.
So when the holiday hustlefeels relentless, remember this.
Holiday hustle feels relentless.
Remember this.
You are seen, you are valuedand you are loved.
You're writing a legacy of love, one imperfectly perfect
(07:58):
holiday moment at a time.
So before you even think aboutadding one more thing to your
holiday to-do list, girl, youneed to take a breath.
You've already given your kidsthe best gift possible, and you
know what that is.
That's your love, your time andsimply your presence.
But even superheroes need aplan right.
So let's talk about somesurvival tips to help you, my
(08:19):
sweet friend, navigate theseason with less stress and more
joy.
Solo mom.
Survival tip number onesimplify the season.
Pick a few of your specialtraditions that matter and focus
on the meaningful over thePinterest.
Perfect Two create a newtradition for you.
After the kids are in bed, pourcocoa or something stronger,
(08:42):
just not with alcohol.
Preferably.
Watch a holiday movie, write ina journal or I don't know,
focus on the fun that you'relooking forward to having in the
new year and then just simplybreathe.
Three ask for help and acceptit.
Lean on friends, family orchurch for babysitting, shopping
help or just someone to talk to.
(09:03):
Number four make time for rest.
Schedule a stay-home day, havea PJ day, bake cookies and relax
.
And number five, and this is themost important in my book love
yourself well.
Remember you can't pour from anempty cup, so you need to
prioritize yourself, even ifit's just 10 minutes of quiet
(09:24):
with your favorite holidaycandle or walk around the block
Loving your kids well.
Well, it starts with you lovingyou well.
So, as I close, remember thisyou don't have to drink the
eggnog or the drama that comeswith the holidays.
You can choose peace, joy andgrace, even when things get a
little messy.
(09:45):
So get ready and get set to setyour boundaries, hold your head
high and remember that you arethe queen of your story, not
anyone else.
When it gets tough, sip yourcocoa, say a prayer, invite
Jesus into the moment and keepon shining, girl.
You see, you know he is thereason for the season and he
(10:08):
already gave you the greatestgift of all his peace.
Mama.
Even when it feels likeeverything is on your shoulders,
remember you are never trulyalone.
Matthew 28, 20 reminds us.
I am with you always, to thevery end of the age.
Jesus is with you in the busy,the quiet and every moment in
(10:32):
between.
You're doing enough, you areenough and your love is the
greatest gift your kids couldever receive.
So, before we go, I would liketo close us in prayer.
Lord, thank you for being ourpeace in every season.
Bless these strong, beautifulmoms as they navigate the
holidays, surround them withyour love, strengthen them in
(10:55):
their weariness and fill theirhomes with joy, laughter and
hope.
May they feel your presence inevery moment In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Until next time and next year,when I return on January 6th,
stay strong, stay grounded andkeep that crown oh yes steady,
even if it's tilted from dodgingsome holiday nonsense.
(11:17):
Need prayer and care thisholiday season.
My faith-filled friends arehere for you.
If you need some prayer or justsomeone to talk to, call our
24-hour prayer line at855-822-PRAY.
We are here for you, day ornight.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you.
(11:38):
Thanks for listening to.
It's a single mom thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Well, hello there, my beautifulwarriors, and welcome back to
another episode of it's a SingleMom Thing, where I keep it raw
(00:21):
and real and refreshingly honest, especially during the holidays
.
Today, I'm serving up a littleseasonal survival guide called
Don't Drink the Eggnog Survivingthe Holiday Drama.
Now, I'm not talking about theliteral eggnog, although we will
get to that.
I'm talking about thedrama-filled cocktail that comes
(00:43):
with family gatherings,co-parenting conflicts and, yeah
, those unsolicited life tipsfrom people who think they know
your best.
So, before you reach for thatspiked nog or get tempted to
stir the pot yourself, let'stalk about how to keep your
peace, protect your heart andmaybe even enjoy this holiday
(01:03):
season drama and trauma free.
So grab your cocoa girl andlet's do this.
How to keep your cool throughthe cold family holiday drama.
All right, let's kick this offby acknowledging something we
all know Family gatherings canbe a lot.
If you joined me back inNovember for our Thanksgiving
(01:25):
episode called it's All Relativewhen it comes to the relatives.
You already know the deal andthe deal breakers.
Consider this your holidayrefresher on surviving those
complicated family dynamics 2.0.
The holidays have a funny way ofbringing people together and
not always peace on earth.
Goodwill to all kind of way.
(01:46):
Sometimes it's more like passthe rolls and potatoes, please,
before this conversation getstoo real.
So here are some of my pro tipsto help you stay chill.
Number one adjust yourexpectations.
Not every holiday will looklike a hallmark movie, and
that's okay, except for the factthat family dynamics well like
(02:10):
your plate, they can often bemessy.
Go in expecting love, notperfection.
Give the gift of love even ifyou don't get it in return.
Number two pick your battles.
When Uncle Joe starts sharinghis very strong opinions about
your life choices, take a deepbreath, maybe a few more.
(02:30):
Then ask yourself is this worthmy energy?
For real, remember, yourresponse is your responsibility.
If not, smile politely, nod andwave and excuse yourself to
check out the Christmas crackthat Grandma Kate just put on
the dessert table.
Number three create adrama-free end zone.
(02:53):
Set a boundary for yourself.
If the conversation turns toxic, redirect or remove yourself.
Something like I'm going to gorefill my cocoa works Every time
, putting that conversation inthe end zone.
And number four script yourresponses.
(03:13):
Have a few go-to lines ready,like thanks for your concern.
But you know what I'm happywith how things are Keeping it
short and sweet.
Also, learn how to keep itlight like the Christmas trees.
I appreciate the advice.
We've got a system that worksgreat for us and our family.
But I'll keep that in mind,always have that one line
(03:36):
already, so when they try tocross it, you always have
something courteous yet cleverto say.
Co-parenting conflicts keepingthe kids first.
Now let's talk about theco-parenting juggling act.
That hits extra hard during theholidays.
You know split schedules, unmetexpectations and last minute
changes.
Well, they can make the seasonfeel more stressful than joyful.
(04:00):
Almost makes you want to deckthe halls with some duct tape.
So how are you going to thrivewhen things take a sudden deep
dive?
Well, girl, you're going to goto your co-parenting survival
tips.
And here you go.
We got your bags packed Ready.
Number one you're going to putthe kids first.
Remember, the holiday isn'tabout your ex, it's about the
(04:21):
extra attention your kids need,keeping their joy at the center
of every decision, even whenit's tougher than tinsel to get
off your Christmas tree.
Number two be flexible withinreason.
Life happens.
If there's room for flexibility, try to accommodate.
Do a little backbending if youwill.
If not, stick to the agreedplan and communicate clearly,
(04:46):
keeping it kind.
Number three no trash talk, nomatter what.
Avoid speaking negatively aboutthe other co-parent in front of
the kids.
If things get heated like afireplace, vent to a trusted
friend after the holiday orholiday gathering, not during it
.
Number four stay in control.
(05:10):
You can't control the otherco-parents actions, only your
responses to them.
So handle your business girlwith grace, and then erase and
replace what he just said,letting the rest go.
Handling unsolicited advice likea boss.
Let's talk about everyone'sfavorite holiday tradition
unsolicited advice.
Something about Christmasdinner, I don't know.
(05:32):
It turns people into certifiedlife coaches, even when their
own is one flush away from goingdown the toilet bowl.
So how to handle unsolicitedholiday advice?
Gift givers, you know the giftyou don't want to receive of day
advice.
Gift givers, you know the giftyou don't want to receive.
Number one smile and deflectwhen someone chimes in with you
(05:52):
with a you should really, youshould really mom.
Then just smile and say well,thanks for the suggestion, but
we've got it under control.
Then change the subject.
You see, this is another timethat I like to say to have those
one-liners ready so that youcan draw a line around your own
two feet.
Number two redirect theconversation.
(06:14):
Ask them I don't know abouttheir life.
You know people love talkingabout themselves.
It's a quick way to shift thespotlight off of you or even put
the spotlight, maybe, on yourkiddos.
Have handy the many high fivesthey got this year and spotlight
even some of their schoolsuccess.
Maybe even have some of theirhighlighted moments on your
(06:34):
phone ready to share.
Number three set a firm butkind boundary If it gets too
much.
Be direct and say somethinglike I appreciate your concern,
but you know I'm happy with howI'm handling things.
Then exit stage left when it'sjust you holding it all together
(06:55):
.
All right, this section is to myfull-time single moms who, well
, it's just you and you.
You're not handing off the kidsfor a holiday break.
It's all you all season longNow.
I know it can feel overwhelmingwhen the holiday magic and
miracles seem like it's all onyour shoulders.
But hear me on this You'redoing more than enough.
(07:16):
Every moment of love, laughterand togetherness you create is a
gift far more valuable thananything that could be wrapped
up with a bow.
You might not have someone toshare the load, but you do have
strength beyond your measure.
You're making memories,building traditions and showing
your kids what resilience, joyand unconditional love looks
(07:38):
like, even when you're runningon fumes.
So when the holiday hustlefeels relentless, remember this.
Holiday hustle feels relentless.
Remember this.
You are seen, you are valuedand you are loved.
You're writing a legacy of love, one imperfectly perfect
(07:58):
holiday moment at a time.
So before you even think aboutadding one more thing to your
holiday to-do list, girl, youneed to take a breath.
You've already given your kidsthe best gift possible, and you
know what that is.
That's your love, your time andsimply your presence.
But even superheroes need aplan right.
So let's talk about somesurvival tips to help you, my
(08:19):
sweet friend, navigate theseason with less stress and more
joy.
Solo mom.
Survival tip number onesimplify the season.
Pick a few of your specialtraditions that matter and focus
on the meaningful over thePinterest.
Perfect Two create a newtradition for you.
After the kids are in bed, pourcocoa or something stronger,
(08:42):
just not with alcohol.
Preferably.
Watch a holiday movie, write ina journal or I don't know,
focus on the fun that you'relooking forward to having in the
new year and then just simplybreathe.
Three ask for help and acceptit.
Lean on friends, family orchurch for babysitting, shopping
help or just someone to talk to.
(09:03):
Number four make time for rest.
Schedule a stay-home day, havea PJ day, bake cookies and relax
.
And number five, and this is themost important in my book love
yourself well.
Remember you can't pour from anempty cup, so you need to
prioritize yourself, even ifit's just 10 minutes of quiet
(09:24):
with your favorite holidaycandle or walk around the block
Loving your kids well.
Well, it starts with you lovingyou well.
So, as I close, remember thisyou don't have to drink the
eggnog or the drama that comeswith the holidays.
You can choose peace, joy andgrace, even when things get a
little messy.
(09:45):
So get ready and get set to setyour boundaries, hold your head
high and remember that you arethe queen of your story, not
anyone else.
When it gets tough, sip yourcocoa, say a prayer, invite
Jesus into the moment and keepon shining, girl.
You see, you know he is thereason for the season and he
(10:08):
already gave you the greatestgift of all his peace.
Mama.
Even when it feels likeeverything is on your shoulders,
remember you are never trulyalone.
Matthew 28, 20 reminds us.
I am with you always, to thevery end of the age.
Jesus is with you in the busy,the quiet and every moment in
(10:32):
between.
You're doing enough, you areenough and your love is the
greatest gift your kids couldever receive.
So, before we go, I would liketo close us in prayer.
Lord, thank you for being ourpeace in every season.
Bless these strong, beautifulmoms as they navigate the
holidays, surround them withyour love, strengthen them in
(10:55):
their weariness and fill theirhomes with joy, laughter and
hope.
May they feel your presence inevery moment In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Until next time and next year,when I return on January 6th,
stay strong, stay grounded andkeep that crown oh yes steady,
even if it's tilted from dodgingsome holiday nonsense.
(11:17):
Need prayer and care thisholiday season.
My faith-filled friends arehere for you.
If you need some prayer or justsomeone to talk to, call our
24-hour prayer line at855-822-PRAY.
We are here for you, day ornight.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you.
(11:38):
Thanks for listening to.
It's a single mom thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
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