February 10, 2025 • 13 mins
🎙️ Finding Joy When Love Looks Different 💖
Feeling the Valentine’s Day blues? Struggling with love after a breakup, divorce, or toxic relationship? You’re not alone, Queen! In this episode of It’s a Single Mom Thing, we’re flipping the script on love and discovering how to embrace joy when love looks different than expected.
💡 What You’ll Learn:
✅ Why grief, loneliness, and frustration are normal—but not the end of your story
✅ How to recognize red flags vs. green flags in dating (because settling isn’t an option!)
✅ How to find love in unexpected places—faith, friendships, kids, and even new experiences
âś… The mindset shift that will help you step into a season of confidence and fulfillment
🚨 Plus, we’re playing a Red Flag or Green Flag Dating Game to help sharpen your relationship radar!
đź“– Scripture Encouragement: Romans 8:38-39 | Psalm 34:18 | Isaiah 43:4
👑 Challenge: Love isn’t just something you wait for—it’s something you create. What’s one way you can experience love in a new form this season?
🔗 Tune in now and let’s find joy—together. 🎧
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back to another episode of it's a Single
Mom Thing.
So if, like me, you've everfound yourself feeling a little
meh about love whether it'sbecause of a breakup, a toxic
relationship or just watchinganother Valentine's Day roll
around while scrolling througheveryone else's perfect love
stories then this episode is foryou.
(00:37):
So why this topic?
Well, love doesn't always looklike we thought it would.
Love doesn't always look likewe thought it would.
Whether you're newly single,divorced, healing or just tired
of waiting, this season canbring up all kinds of emotions.
But here's the good news Justbecause love looks different
doesn't mean it's gone.
Love is still here, and todaywe're going to talk about how to
(01:00):
see it, embrace it and walkconfidently in it.
So here's what you can expecttoday We'll name the hard stuff,
because, listen, pretendingdoesn't help.
We'll reframe what loveactually is Hint, it's not just
about romance.
And we'll play a little game ofred flag or green flag, because
(01:22):
, listen, dating today can bewild and we need to talk about
it.
And then, finally, we'll wrapup with a powerful shift in how
we can experience love movingforward.
So grab your coffee, put inyour earbuds or keep driving
that minivan.
We're about to dig in deep girlwhat we're feeling when love
(01:43):
doesn't look like you expected.
So let's be real.
Nobody enters into arelationship thinking, oh I hope
this crashes and burns.
I mean, I certainly don'tremember divorce being something
I said I do to when I stood atthe altar, nor the woman
listening who said in sicknessand health and then it took her
loved one away too soon.
(02:05):
How we got there is differentfor each of us, but we do share
these common feelings when lovelooks different.
Grief I thought we'd grow oldtogether, but now I'm here and
he's not.
Loneliness Everyone else seemsto have someone, but what about
me?
Frustration I did the work, Igave my best and now I have to
(02:32):
start over.
Comparison it just feels likeeveryone on my feed is getting
engaged or celebratinganniversaries or temptation to
settle.
Maybe he's not perfect, but atleast I won't be alone.
Do you find yourself saying oneof these things as Valentine's
Day approaches?
(02:52):
Here's the reality check.
One, being single is betterthan being in the wrong
relationship.
I mean, we are single parentsand in most cases that process
of how we got there to be asingle parent was painful.
Just saying do you really wantto go through that all over
again now with someone who isn'teven your kiddo's father.
(03:14):
Two there's no love moredamaging than the kind you force
yourself into just to avoidbeing alone.
You see, if the door is shut,don't waste your time and those
pretty fingernails trying toopen a door that was meant to
remain closed.
Three, and this is the bestreality check God's love never
(03:38):
leaves even when people do so.
Here's a little scripture dropfor you Romans 8, 38 through 39,
and I'm going to paraphrasethis Nothing can separate us
from the love of God.
Psalms 34, 18,.
God is close to thebrokenhearted Ladies.
You are deeply loved, not justsomeday when the right person
(04:02):
comes along, but right now,today, in this very moment, as
we speak with one another, as wego through this podcast.
Listen, we will discover anduncover, maybe in ways you have
forgotten, that you are loved orcan even experience love.
But before we do, I want us tohave a little fun together and
(04:23):
do something I've never donebefore on this podcast, and
that's play a game with youcalled red flag or green flag.
It's a dating game.
I'll throw out a datingscenario and then you decide in
your head or out loud in yourcar Is this a red flag or a
green flag?
Is this a red flag or a greenflag?
Now, listen, I want you to havesome fun with this, to the
(04:44):
point that the person in the carnext to you has some serious
questions.
So here's the first set ofscenarios in texting and
communication.
He only texts quote WYD, endquote late at night and never
(05:05):
makes real plans.
Okay, I did say that we weregoing to have a little bit of
fun here, so stick with me.
Okay, number two he texts yougood morning and good night
every day, but hasn't taken youon an actual date.
Oh, that's a red flag.
And number three he respondsconsistently and communicates
(05:25):
clearly, without making youguess where you stand.
Yeah, that boy needs to get ahand clap.
Okay, our next set of scenariosand faith and values.
He says he believes in God butdoesn't think church is
necessary.
Oh, you need to throw baby outwith the bathwater right there.
(05:46):
That's a total red flag.
He prays with you before mealsand talks about his relationship
with God.
Oh, yes, that's a green.
That's a go.
He asked you to go to churchbefore he asked you to Netflix
and chill.
Okay, wait a minute.
He said what he asked you to goto church before he asked you
to Netflix and chill.
Okay, wait a minute.
He said what he asked you to goto church before he asked you
to Netflix and chill.
He better not be asking you toNetflix and chill either.
(06:09):
So I'm going to say that's ared.
Okay, that boo was, becausewhat he was talking about is a
total boo.
Okay, next section kids andfamily.
He tells you he wants to waitbefore meeting your kids and
respects your decisions to takethings slow.
Oh, yes, you get a green, go.
(06:29):
He never introduces you to hisfriends and has no interest in
meeting yours.
Oh, you can take that red andgo.
He introduces you to his kidson the second date.
Uh, no Red flag.
Okay, here's where it's going toget a little hot and steamy
here.
Yes, we're going to go to sex,intimacy and commitment
(06:50):
scenarios.
He makes sexual jokes early on,even after you expressed you're
not comfortable with it.
Oh, that's a red flag.
He says let's take things slow,baby.
But after six months he stillwon't call you his girlfriend.
Oh, you got to go to.
That's a red flag.
I hope you, girl, you're goingto kick that boy out the door.
(07:12):
Let's see.
He openly talks about waitingfor sex until marriage and
respects your stance on intimacy.
Well, that's a green light.
And where do we find one ofthose kind of guys?
That's a green flag, not agreen light.
Okay.
Next scenario control andmanipulation.
He tells you baby, I just don'twant to see you get hurt.
But starts isolating you fromyour friends and family.
(07:36):
Red flag he gets mad if youhave guy friends, but he, he has
plenty of female friends forhimself.
Red flag he guilt trips you forhaving standards and says
you're too picky, that's whyyou're single.
Oh, you're lucky if that's.
All you get is a red flag fromme.
So listen, ladies, I hope youhad some fun.
(07:58):
You did a great job.
You did a great job.
So here's a few takeaways thatyou can take with you.
Some red flags are obvious, butsome they're just sneaky.
You need to trust your gut, Agood man.
(08:19):
He will bring peace, notconfusion, and you should have
faith, not fear, when you'redating a man.
Now, if you got a little checkin your spirit about someone you
are dating who is seriouslywaving a lot of red flags, even
though it's painful, you maywant to move on from this
partner or at least, at the veryleast girl, talk to someone
(08:39):
about these red flags whom youtrust.
Again, this statement bearsrepeating.
Being single is better thanbeing in the wrong relationship
and possibly keeping you fromthe right one, Embracing love in
a new way.
If love is more than romance,where else is it showing up in
(08:59):
your life and how can you simplylove it?
So let's look around.
Number one you'll find love inyour kids.
So maybe this Valentine's Dayyou can plan a special outing,
write them notes, make themtheir favorite meal, create a
new tradition or do somethingthey love to do or something so
unexpected.
(09:19):
You'll find love in yourfriendships.
So, girls, schedule some timewith your friends who pour into
you Breakfast, lunch or tea time, Watch a funny flick, catch a
sunset or pop some tags at thethrift store.
Number three the greatest love,and that's your love for God.
Spend time in prayer, Listenfor his voice, Lean into his
(09:43):
love, Start a new Bible study,Write in your Thriving 25
journal insight he gives you inquiet time together, Look for
him in nature.
He is all around you, girl, andget down to a worship song.
Number four, and here's onethat often gets overlooked, and
that's simply love for yourself.
(10:04):
What if you took yourself on adate, set some boundaries or
even spoke life over yourself?
And number four and I'm goingto throw this one in love for a
new experience.
Try something you've alwayswanted to do.
You see, love doesn't have tocome in the way of the form of a
(10:24):
person, it can come from anexperience.
Take that pottery class.
Book the solo weekend trip,train for the 5k.
Start that side hustle orcreative project you've always
wanted to do.
Go to a concert, try a newrestaurant, or explore a hobby
that simply just brings you joy.
So do something you alwayswanted to do or said you would
(10:47):
do and you didn't.
Even if you do it, scared girl,you're doing it with him,
meaning Jesus.
So here's my challenge to you.
I want you to think about this.
So what would it feel like ifyou started living like you're
already deeply loved Because youare Got it?
So what would that feeling looklike on you?
(11:09):
Would it say content, confident, peace, trust or even joy?
Would you stand up straighter,Talk to people you normally
wouldn't talk to?
Would you take more risk, Laughwith your kids more, Look
people in the eye or even smileat a stranger?
And here's what's strange whenyou find love and people and
(11:37):
places and experiences, youactually begin to start loving
your life, even as a singleparent.
And here is my best guess.
And that's when you learn tolove yourself right where you
are.
Here is my best guess.
And that's when you learn tolove yourself right where you
are, Either the right guy comesalong or you may even forget
about finding a guy becauseyou're having fun finding
yourself.
And here's another scripturedrop for you, and that's Isaiah
(11:57):
43, 4.
You are precious and honored inmy sight and I love you.
As I close, here are a few finalthoughts of encouragement to
take into your week and rock outthis Valentine's Day and, well,
every day.
Number one love isn't justcoming, it's already here.
(12:18):
Two God's love is constant andyou are already enough, is
constant and you are alreadyenough.
And three no more settling.
No more second guessing yourworth Dust settles, you don't.
So here is my CTA to you andthat's call to action.
(12:38):
Number one it's a journalchallenge.
So get that Thriving 25 journalout and write down three ways
love is already showing up inyour life today and I want you
to thank God for each and everyone of them.
Number two tag you are it.
Tag me at at SV-Moms on Instaor, if you're on the it's a
(12:58):
Single Mom Thing privateFacebook group, and share your
biggest takeaway from thisepisode.
And three I want you to sharethis episode.
Listen, if this episode hasencouraged you, you need to send
it to another single mom whoneeds it before this Valentine's
Day.
Okay, so, mama, be gone and bedone with the Valentine's Day
(13:19):
blue for this girl knows what todo, she experiences and finds
her joy even when love looksdifferently.
Have a wonderful week and ahappy Galentine's Day,
remembering it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Thanks for listening to it's a.
Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back to another episode of it's a Single
Mom Thing.
So if, like me, you've everfound yourself feeling a little
meh about love whether it'sbecause of a breakup, a toxic
relationship or just watchinganother Valentine's Day roll
around while scrolling througheveryone else's perfect love
stories then this episode is foryou.
(00:37):
So why this topic?
Well, love doesn't always looklike we thought it would.
Love doesn't always look likewe thought it would.
Whether you're newly single,divorced, healing or just tired
of waiting, this season canbring up all kinds of emotions.
But here's the good news Justbecause love looks different
doesn't mean it's gone.
Love is still here, and todaywe're going to talk about how to
(01:00):
see it, embrace it and walkconfidently in it.
So here's what you can expecttoday We'll name the hard stuff,
because, listen, pretendingdoesn't help.
We'll reframe what loveactually is Hint, it's not just
about romance.
And we'll play a little game ofred flag or green flag, because
(01:22):
, listen, dating today can bewild and we need to talk about
it.
And then, finally, we'll wrapup with a powerful shift in how
we can experience love movingforward.
So grab your coffee, put inyour earbuds or keep driving
that minivan.
We're about to dig in deep girlwhat we're feeling when love
(01:43):
doesn't look like you expected.
So let's be real.
Nobody enters into arelationship thinking, oh I hope
this crashes and burns.
I mean, I certainly don'tremember divorce being something
I said I do to when I stood atthe altar, nor the woman
listening who said in sicknessand health and then it took her
loved one away too soon.
(02:05):
How we got there is differentfor each of us, but we do share
these common feelings when lovelooks different.
Grief I thought we'd grow oldtogether, but now I'm here and
he's not.
Loneliness Everyone else seemsto have someone, but what about
me?
Frustration I did the work, Igave my best and now I have to
(02:32):
start over.
Comparison it just feels likeeveryone on my feed is getting
engaged or celebratinganniversaries or temptation to
settle.
Maybe he's not perfect, but atleast I won't be alone.
Do you find yourself saying oneof these things as Valentine's
Day approaches?
(02:52):
Here's the reality check.
One, being single is betterthan being in the wrong
relationship.
I mean, we are single parentsand in most cases that process
of how we got there to be asingle parent was painful.
Just saying do you really wantto go through that all over
again now with someone who isn'teven your kiddo's father.
(03:14):
Two there's no love moredamaging than the kind you force
yourself into just to avoidbeing alone.
You see, if the door is shut,don't waste your time and those
pretty fingernails trying toopen a door that was meant to
remain closed.
Three, and this is the bestreality check God's love never
(03:38):
leaves even when people do so.
Here's a little scripture dropfor you Romans 8, 38 through 39,
and I'm going to paraphrasethis Nothing can separate us
from the love of God.
Psalms 34, 18,.
God is close to thebrokenhearted Ladies.
You are deeply loved, not justsomeday when the right person
(04:02):
comes along, but right now,today, in this very moment, as
we speak with one another, as wego through this podcast.
Listen, we will discover anduncover, maybe in ways you have
forgotten, that you are loved orcan even experience love.
But before we do, I want us tohave a little fun together and
(04:23):
do something I've never donebefore on this podcast, and
that's play a game with youcalled red flag or green flag.
It's a dating game.
I'll throw out a datingscenario and then you decide in
your head or out loud in yourcar Is this a red flag or a
green flag?
Is this a red flag or a greenflag?
Now, listen, I want you to havesome fun with this, to the
(04:44):
point that the person in the carnext to you has some serious
questions.
So here's the first set ofscenarios in texting and
communication.
He only texts quote WYD, endquote late at night and never
(05:05):
makes real plans.
Okay, I did say that we weregoing to have a little bit of
fun here, so stick with me.
Okay, number two he texts yougood morning and good night
every day, but hasn't taken youon an actual date.
Oh, that's a red flag.
And number three he respondsconsistently and communicates
(05:25):
clearly, without making youguess where you stand.
Yeah, that boy needs to get ahand clap.
Okay, our next set of scenariosand faith and values.
He says he believes in God butdoesn't think church is
necessary.
Oh, you need to throw baby outwith the bathwater right there.
(05:46):
That's a total red flag.
He prays with you before mealsand talks about his relationship
with God.
Oh, yes, that's a green.
That's a go.
He asked you to go to churchbefore he asked you to Netflix
and chill.
Okay, wait a minute.
He said what he asked you to goto church before he asked you
to Netflix and chill.
Okay, wait a minute.
He said what he asked you to goto church before he asked you
to Netflix and chill.
He better not be asking you toNetflix and chill either.
(06:09):
So I'm going to say that's ared.
Okay, that boo was, becausewhat he was talking about is a
total boo.
Okay, next section kids andfamily.
He tells you he wants to waitbefore meeting your kids and
respects your decisions to takethings slow.
Oh, yes, you get a green, go.
(06:29):
He never introduces you to hisfriends and has no interest in
meeting yours.
Oh, you can take that red andgo.
He introduces you to his kidson the second date.
Uh, no Red flag.
Okay, here's where it's going toget a little hot and steamy
here.
Yes, we're going to go to sex,intimacy and commitment
(06:50):
scenarios.
He makes sexual jokes early on,even after you expressed you're
not comfortable with it.
Oh, that's a red flag.
He says let's take things slow,baby.
But after six months he stillwon't call you his girlfriend.
Oh, you got to go to.
That's a red flag.
I hope you, girl, you're goingto kick that boy out the door.
(07:12):
Let's see.
He openly talks about waitingfor sex until marriage and
respects your stance on intimacy.
Well, that's a green light.
And where do we find one ofthose kind of guys?
That's a green flag, not agreen light.
Okay.
Next scenario control andmanipulation.
He tells you baby, I just don'twant to see you get hurt.
But starts isolating you fromyour friends and family.
(07:36):
Red flag he gets mad if youhave guy friends, but he, he has
plenty of female friends forhimself.
Red flag he guilt trips you forhaving standards and says
you're too picky, that's whyyou're single.
Oh, you're lucky if that's.
All you get is a red flag fromme.
So listen, ladies, I hope youhad some fun.
(07:58):
You did a great job.
You did a great job.
So here's a few takeaways thatyou can take with you.
Some red flags are obvious, butsome they're just sneaky.
You need to trust your gut, Agood man.
(08:19):
He will bring peace, notconfusion, and you should have
faith, not fear, when you'redating a man.
Now, if you got a little checkin your spirit about someone you
are dating who is seriouslywaving a lot of red flags, even
though it's painful, you maywant to move on from this
partner or at least, at the veryleast girl, talk to someone
(08:39):
about these red flags whom youtrust.
Again, this statement bearsrepeating.
Being single is better thanbeing in the wrong relationship
and possibly keeping you fromthe right one, Embracing love in
a new way.
If love is more than romance,where else is it showing up in
(08:59):
your life and how can you simplylove it?
So let's look around.
Number one you'll find love inyour kids.
So maybe this Valentine's Dayyou can plan a special outing,
write them notes, make themtheir favorite meal, create a
new tradition or do somethingthey love to do or something so
unexpected.
(09:19):
You'll find love in yourfriendships.
So, girls, schedule some timewith your friends who pour into
you Breakfast, lunch or tea time, Watch a funny flick, catch a
sunset or pop some tags at thethrift store.
Number three the greatest love,and that's your love for God.
Spend time in prayer, Listenfor his voice, Lean into his
(09:43):
love, Start a new Bible study,Write in your Thriving 25
journal insight he gives you inquiet time together, Look for
him in nature.
He is all around you, girl, andget down to a worship song.
Number four, and here's onethat often gets overlooked, and
that's simply love for yourself.
(10:04):
What if you took yourself on adate, set some boundaries or
even spoke life over yourself?
And number four and I'm goingto throw this one in love for a
new experience.
Try something you've alwayswanted to do.
You see, love doesn't have tocome in the way of the form of a
(10:24):
person, it can come from anexperience.
Take that pottery class.
Book the solo weekend trip,train for the 5k.
Start that side hustle orcreative project you've always
wanted to do.
Go to a concert, try a newrestaurant, or explore a hobby
that simply just brings you joy.
So do something you alwayswanted to do or said you would
(10:47):
do and you didn't.
Even if you do it, scared girl,you're doing it with him,
meaning Jesus.
So here's my challenge to you.
I want you to think about this.
So what would it feel like ifyou started living like you're
already deeply loved Because youare Got it?
So what would that feeling looklike on you?
(11:09):
Would it say content, confident, peace, trust or even joy?
Would you stand up straighter,Talk to people you normally
wouldn't talk to?
Would you take more risk, Laughwith your kids more, Look
people in the eye or even smileat a stranger?
And here's what's strange whenyou find love and people and
(11:37):
places and experiences, youactually begin to start loving
your life, even as a singleparent.
And here is my best guess.
And that's when you learn tolove yourself right where you
are.
Here is my best guess.
And that's when you learn tolove yourself right where you
are, Either the right guy comesalong or you may even forget
about finding a guy becauseyou're having fun finding
yourself.
And here's another scripturedrop for you, and that's Isaiah
(11:57):
43, 4.
You are precious and honored inmy sight and I love you.
As I close, here are a few finalthoughts of encouragement to
take into your week and rock outthis Valentine's Day and, well,
every day.
Number one love isn't justcoming, it's already here.
(12:18):
Two God's love is constant andyou are already enough, is
constant and you are alreadyenough.
And three no more settling.
No more second guessing yourworth Dust settles, you don't.
So here is my CTA to you andthat's call to action.
(12:38):
Number one it's a journalchallenge.
So get that Thriving 25 journalout and write down three ways
love is already showing up inyour life today and I want you
to thank God for each and everyone of them.
Number two tag you are it.
Tag me at at SV-Moms on Instaor, if you're on the it's a
(12:58):
Single Mom Thing privateFacebook group, and share your
biggest takeaway from thisepisode.
And three I want you to sharethis episode.
Listen, if this episode hasencouraged you, you need to send
it to another single mom whoneeds it before this Valentine's
Day.
Okay, so, mama, be gone and bedone with the Valentine's Day
(13:19):
blue for this girl knows what todo, she experiences and finds
her joy even when love looksdifferently.
Have a wonderful week and ahappy Galentine's Day,
remembering it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Thanks for listening to it's a.
Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
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