June 16, 2025 • 19 mins
Feeling weighed down by past hurt, anger, or betrayal? In this powerful episode of It’s a Single Mom Thing, host Sherry Chandler unpacks the truth about forgiveness—what it really means, why it’s so hard, and how letting go can set you and your family free. With fierce faith and honest storytelling, Sherry shares what unforgiveness costs us—peace, healing, energy—and how it often gives the enemy a foothold in our lives.
You’ll learn how to:
✅ Identify hidden areas of unforgiveness
✅ Break generational patterns by “faithing it forward”
✅ Teach forgiveness to your kids (even littles and teens!) through practical conversations, color tools, and in-the-moment prayer
✅ Take real steps toward releasing what’s been festering so you can flourish
Whether you're dealing with a co-parent, a friend, yourself, or even God—this episode offers real talk, biblical truth, and spiritual tools that can transform your heart and home.
Mentioned in this episode:
– Ephesians 4:27
– Family forgiveness dinner table questions
– Color-coded emotion tool for kids
– Pocket prayers for littles and tough teens
– 24/7 prayer line: 855-822-PRAY
Subscribe, share, and join the conversation—because forgiveness isn't just for them, it's for you.
#Forgiveness #SingleMomPodcast #FaithHealing #ParentingWithGrace #LetGoAndGrow #ItsASingleMomThing
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's a Single Mom Thing,
(00:20):
where we walk and talk our toughtimes out with fierce faith,
never letting this single seasonstop us.
I'm your host, sherri, andtoday we're diving into one of
the most freeing yet mostchallenging truths forgiveness.
Let's call this episode Forgiveand Flourish.
What Letting Go Gives Back.
(00:42):
Because, listen, whileunforgiveness might feel like
protection, it's really a prisongirl.
So, before we get started, Ineed you to forgive me.
Forgive me for not being herewith you last Monday.
I totally forgot that I wasgoing to be out of town.
That is my bad.
So, moving on, are you ready toget on board with a new train
(01:05):
of thought what unforgivenesstakes from you?
We're going to start rightthere.
So, ladies, as I like to say,let's flip the script right away
on this.
Unforgiveness doesn't giveanything, but it certainly takes
a lot.
Now, from my experience, I havefound this.
(01:26):
I have found that unforgivenessdoes a few things.
It doesn't give you control, itactually takes your peace.
Unforgiveness doesn't protectyou, it prevents you from
healing.
Unforgiveness also doesn'tshield your heart, it shackles
it.
Sis, listen, unforgivenesswon't light your fire, it'll
(01:47):
burn you out.
It's an emotional debt kind oflike, with a compounding
interest, though.
So have you ever taken notice ofwhat it feels like?
That bitterness that bubblesunderneath your breath, anxiety
in certain conversations, angerthat erupts in places it doesn't
(02:07):
belong, or even that numbnesstowards the people or persons
who need your tenderness?
There it is.
So where does it show up?
How about in relationships?
As a short fuse, or even adistant heart?
How about even in yourparenting?
Oh yes, in the form ofovercompensating or under
(02:30):
connecting.
Even it shows up in yourspiritual walk, by staying busy
but feeling blocked.
And have you ever thought aboutwhy is it we do that?
We fill our calendars witheverything under the sun, right,
like Bible study, schoolactivities, a new workout plan,
maybe even a new boo,reorganizing the pantry again,
(02:52):
scrolling social, like it's ourjob Anything, just anything, to
stay and keep moving, so wedon't have to sit still with
what's really going on.
It's like we think if we justdo enough, we won't have to feel
too much.
That might hurt someone rightthere.
But busyness, it isn't healing,listen, it's just noise and a
(03:16):
very crowded heart.
And here's the hard part that Ihave found Sometimes
unforgiveness it is hidden.
It's not always the usualsuspect, like the ex or your
parents.
It could be towards yourself,oh yes, in the form of guilt or
shame.
You just can't shake, eventowards God, over something you
(03:39):
felt he could have stopped, oreven and you may not see this
one coming even your kids, forwhat you feel you missed, lost
or endured.
Now that's a tough one.
Here's a hard truth for us toconsider.
We can't flourish while holdingon to what's festering.
I know that's good.
(04:00):
Unforgiveness as a foothold.
Have you ever had those momentswhere you felt like you lost
your footing, slipped or evenfell without not knowing what
you tripped over?
Sometimes that unseen tripwireis unforgiveness.
It's like a giant bit of rootjust under the surface, one you
(04:21):
didn't realize was still there,ready to snare you and throw you
off course.
And even worse, it gives theenemy access.
You see, unforgiveness isn'tjust a heart issue.
It's a foothold and a stepstool, a crack in the door that lets
in chaos and confusion.
Ephesians 4.27 even goes as faras to warn us, and I quote do
(04:47):
not give the devil a foothold.
And unforgiveness, ladies,listen, it is one of the easiest
footholds he uses.
Why?
Because it one, keeps you stuckin the past.
Two, it fuels lies like, forexample, they don't deserve it
or I'll never get over this.
Three, it also distracts youfrom the healing God wants to do
(05:12):
in you and not just around you.
You see, bitterness, let's thinkof it this way.
Bitterness is a bait and theenemy is counting on you to bite
.
So, listen, I think we need totake that worm, that bait, off
the hook, because here's thegood news, and I got lots of it
(05:33):
Forgiveness shuts that door, itsevers the stronghold, it roots
out the tripwire and it clearsthe path for healing and peace.
Who doesn't need some of that?
Isn't that, honestly?
Let's think about it.
Isn't that, honestly, what weare really after?
Maybe not for them, the otherperson right now, but for you
(05:56):
and even your kids.
Listen, I know forgiveness isn'tthe thing we want to do.
I get it totally, but it shouldbe the thing we choose to do to
free our families and theirfuture.
So hear me out.
You could be the hero or theshero in your family right now,
(06:18):
the one who breaks the pattern,ends the cycle and faiths it
forward.
So why would you want to dothat, you may be asking yourself
.
Well, here's what forgivenessgives back.
Forgiveness isn't about beingokay with what happened.
Some of you listening havewalked through some deep trauma
(06:40):
things done to you that shouldnever have happened and can't be
undone.
Some wounds require stitchesand, yes, they leave scars, but
unforgiveness, it, keeps thosewounds wide open.
So hear me clearly Forgivenessis not saying it was okay.
It's choosing to no longer letit have power over you, and I'm
(07:04):
going to say that again it'schoosing to no longer let it
have what Power over you.
So if it no longer has powerover you, then what does
forgiveness give in return?
How about your peace back, yourpower, back your identity back,
(07:27):
not as a victim but as a victor, your joy, freedom and
wholeness?
And how about some clarity ofthought?
I would like some of that.
Yes, and let's be real,forgiving doesn't mean being
buddies with the offender.
In no way am I suggesting that.
So let's be clear.
But let's also be clear aboutthis.
Boundaries are biblical.
(07:49):
Forgiveness is about release,not let me say it right
reconciliation.
There we go.
So let's take the bait off thehook and release the fish that
is on, throw it back in thewater and then reel in your line
, girl, and then, when youforgive even before you feel
(08:13):
like it, because you're notgoing to always feel like you
want to do this this is what itdoes.
It creates a space for God todo what only he can do Heal.
That's a yes and an amen.
So, okay, how do we do thiswhen we don't want to?
Well, here are some practicalways that I have found to
(08:34):
forgive and listen.
You don't need to feel it to doit.
Faith isn't a feeling, andneither is forgiveness, despite
what we may believe.
So here are some practicalsteps.
I have found in my own life thatyou too can take One, name it
and like this who or what do youneed to forgive?
Think about that Now.
(08:55):
Remember also that some thingsmay be hidden, so you may need
to pray about this, allowing Godto shine a light on what is not
seen or in plain view.
Then, two, once you've named it, write it down, journal your
hurt and then cross it out andwrite I quote I release this in
Jesus name out and write, Iquote, I release this in Jesus
(09:18):
name.
Then, number three pray throughit, daily breath prayer.
Like God, I give you what Icannot carry.
Four speak it aloud like thisSay I don't know, I choose to
forgive, and then fill in theblank for blank offense.
Even if it hurt, I will not letit harden me.
And then five bless it insteadof bash it like a pinata.
Ask God to bless them.
(09:40):
Yep, even them.
Now, I know this last one feelscompletely counterintuitive,
but remember, god's ways are notour ways right.
And here's the kicker Blessingthem just might bless you too.
So I'm going to go ahead andI'm going to double dog, dare
(10:01):
you Yep, I said it to write downthe date in your journal when
you ask God to bless that person.
Then be on the lookout, watchhow he moves, because when you
pay attention with intention,you just might get a front row
seat to see how God shows up.
And when he does go back tothat journal, highlight it,
(10:21):
circle it, draw stars around it.
Let it become a signpost, abold reminder of where God has
been faithful.
When you gave a littleforgiveness, teaching
forgiveness at the table.
Now, forgiveness shouldn't justbe something you practice, it
should be something you pass on.
Let's be the generation thatraises kids who learn early how
(10:47):
to release, not rehearse, theirpain.
That, my friend, is some realhead start education.
So here's how to get theconversation going, but first,
phones down, no swiping,scrolling or side texting.
Okay, sister and you, mama, bepresent at the dinner table like
it's sacred, because it is.
(11:09):
Start with a simple,open-hearted question like did
anything happen at school orwith a friend this week that
made you feel sad, left out ormad?
For example, did someone leaveyou out at recess or say
something mean?
Two, is there anyone you'restill upset with, maybe a
teacher, a classmate or even me?
Here's another question how doyou know the difference between
(11:33):
wanting something to be maderight and just wanting to get
back at someone?
This is going to help themunderstand justice versus
revenge.
For example, you can say at thetable okay, let's say someone
at school broke your favoritepencil on purpose, wanting them
to say sorry, or tell theteacher that's wanting it to be
(11:53):
made right.
Them to say sorry, or tell theteacher that's wanting it to be
made right, but if you decide tobreak their pencil later just
to get even now, that's revenge.
One brings healing and theother brings more hurt.
Then you can follow up thatthought or example with a so
what do you think Jesus wouldwant us to do and how could we
(12:14):
handle it differently next time?
Then you can also ask questionslike okay, why do you think
forgiving someone is hard, butwhat can it do for our hearts?
Now, this might be a littlehard for them, so let's, let's
explore this a little.
So this question is what it'sgoing to do.
It's going to allow them toexplore how forgiveness can make
(12:34):
them feel lighter, freer, oreven the hurt that was so big.
Now, for younger kids, who mightnot have words yet, you could
try a color feelings activity.
You could say let's play acolor game.
If your heart feels happy, whatcolor would it be?
What about mad or sad, orconfused?
Then let them point to crayonsor color swatches, or even draw
(12:57):
it on paper.
Then say now, if someone hurtsyour heart, what color do you
think it turns?
Let them answer this freely,okay, even if it's dark, like
black or red.
Then you can even ask if weforgive them and let God help us
.
What color do you think ourheart becomes again?
You see, what this does is.
This opens the door toconversations about emotional
(13:19):
healing in a way that kids getto use their imagination and our
visual elements.
Then finish it with thisForgiveness helps our hearts
change color again back to peaceand joy, and God can help us do
that even when it's hard.
So let's not forget who alsomight be sitting at your table
and that might be your troubledteen, the ones that don't say
(13:41):
much but are feeling so much.
Right, hormones are real andemotions are high, and sometimes
they just are mad or sad andthey don't even know why.
That doesn't make them broken,ladies, it makes them human,
kind of like.
We are every 28 days on ourcycle, right, just saying so?
Try saying something like thishey, I've noticed you seem a
(14:02):
little off this week Mad, quiet,maybe even sad, and you might
not even know why.
And listen, that's okay.
I just want you to know thatyou don't have to figure it all
out alone.
We can talk about this, we canpray, or we can even just sit.
You're not a problem to fix youand talk about this.
(14:25):
We can pray or we can even justsit.
You're not a problem to fix,you're a person I love.
Then follow up with somethinglike you know, sometimes when we
carry unforgiveness, I havefound that, even if it's just
heavy feelings, we thinkignoring it will make it go away
, but usually it just builds up.
You don't have to carry thatstuff alone and I'm here when
you're ready.
You can even offer them ajournal or safe space or place
to write, draw or even ventSomething private between them
(14:45):
and God.
If they don't want to talk yetand here's a teachable moment
straight from mom this is alwaysa great one to do at the table,
so they get to experience andsee you as a human being as well
.
And maybe you say somethinglike this you know what guys?
Mommy had to forgive someonetoday too.
I was driving and someone cutme off and I got so mad I wanted
(15:07):
to yell, even give him theuniversal hand wave, but instead
I asked God to help me forgivethem, because you know, I don't
know what kind of day they mightbe having.
Maybe they're rushing to thehospital, or maybe they're just
late for a Chick-fil-A milkshake.
Either way, praying helped mecalm down and it helped me
(15:28):
breathe again.
That's the power of prayer.
It shifts our focus from whatsomeone did to us to what God
can do in us.
So let's ask ourselves is thereanyone and this is you guys at
the table again is there anyonewe need to forgive today, at
school, at home or even righthere at this table, let's say a
(15:51):
prayer together.
And because listen when we prayand I want you to emphasize
this because when we pray, whenwe bring forgiveness into our
prayer life, we don't just letgo, we let God in.
That's where the peace comesfrom, that's where the healing
begins.
Ladies, let forgiveness be apart of your daily rhythm, not
(16:12):
just a reaction.
Make it a family culture, notjust a personal struggle.
Daily and in the moment,prayers for forgiveness.
So here's the truth Forgivenessdoesn't have to wait until
bedtime, and these are thingsyou want to emphasize with your
kids.
It doesn't have to wait untilbedtime prayers your bedtime
prayers is what I mean or whenyou finally calm down.
(16:34):
You and your kids can talk toGod right now, in the moment, on
the playground, in school, inthe hallway, during a car ride
or even while someone is stillhurting your feelings.
These are important things toemphasize with your kids.
You want to teach them that youdon't have to wait to get home,
to get it off your chest.
What you want to do is you wantto get it to God right away and
(16:56):
right then and right there.
Now, for the little ones, it'seasy to remember, to say out
loud or whisper to God this iswhat you could tell them, like
things like Jesus, help me notto be mad.
I want to forgive like you orGod, take this yucky feeling.
I don't want to keep it.
Or help my heart.
Be kind, even when peoplearen't.
(17:19):
Now for your strong-willed,emotional or hurting teens that
are real and raw, here are someprayers that they can shout out
to God.
Listen, god, I'm mad, you seeit.
Help me not stay stuck here,jesus, help me, let go before it
eats me up.
Or I don't feel like forgiving,but I choose to try.
Meet me in the trying, and hereare prayers for both you and
(17:42):
your kids to pray together.
This is great.
God, help me forgive like you.
Do Not because they deserve it,because I need the freedom.
Jesus, heal what I can't fix.
Help me let go of what hurts,even when I don't feel ready.
Holy Spirit, fill the placeswhere bitterness has been.
I choose peace.
(18:03):
You can even write one of theseon a sticky note and put it in
a backpack, a lunchbox or amirror, mama, anywhere they'll
see it in the middle of theirday.
Because, listen, forgivenessisn't just something we learn.
It is something we live outmoment by moment, one prayer at
(18:24):
a time.
So, as I close, my hope is thatyour greatest takeaway today is
that forgiveness is not aweakness.
It is a spiritual strength.
It doesn't erase the past.
It releases its hold on yourfuture, though.
It's not about excusing theoffense.
It's about choosing your ownfreedom.
(18:44):
It's your choice whether youwant to be a prisoner to to it
or live as you are free.
Indeed, listen, my friends, youcan flourish, but not while
your hands are full ofbitterness.
You got to let it go, girl, andwatch God grow something new.
If you need prayer or someone towalk with you in this season of
(19:04):
unforgiveness, call 24-7 ourprayer line at 855-822-PRAY.
We are here to help you getthrough some unforgiveness, girl
, and on to your healing.
Until next time, walk in grace,live in truth and remember.
It's a single mom thing, but itdoesn't have to be the thing
that stops you.
Thanks for listening to.
(19:25):
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer.
Visit us atwwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer For moreinformation and resources.
Check out our show notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's a Single Mom Thing,
(00:20):
where we walk and talk our toughtimes out with fierce faith,
never letting this single seasonstop us.
I'm your host, sherri, andtoday we're diving into one of
the most freeing yet mostchallenging truths forgiveness.
Let's call this episode Forgiveand Flourish.
What Letting Go Gives Back.
(00:42):
Because, listen, whileunforgiveness might feel like
protection, it's really a prisongirl.
So, before we get started, Ineed you to forgive me.
Forgive me for not being herewith you last Monday.
I totally forgot that I wasgoing to be out of town.
That is my bad.
So, moving on, are you ready toget on board with a new train
(01:05):
of thought what unforgivenesstakes from you?
We're going to start rightthere.
So, ladies, as I like to say,let's flip the script right away
on this.
Unforgiveness doesn't giveanything, but it certainly takes
a lot.
Now, from my experience, I havefound this.
(01:26):
I have found that unforgivenessdoes a few things.
It doesn't give you control, itactually takes your peace.
Unforgiveness doesn't protectyou, it prevents you from
healing.
Unforgiveness also doesn'tshield your heart, it shackles
it.
Sis, listen, unforgivenesswon't light your fire, it'll
(01:47):
burn you out.
It's an emotional debt kind oflike, with a compounding
interest, though.
So have you ever taken notice ofwhat it feels like?
That bitterness that bubblesunderneath your breath, anxiety
in certain conversations, angerthat erupts in places it doesn't
(02:07):
belong, or even that numbnesstowards the people or persons
who need your tenderness?
There it is.
So where does it show up?
How about in relationships?
As a short fuse, or even adistant heart?
How about even in yourparenting?
Oh yes, in the form ofovercompensating or under
(02:30):
connecting.
Even it shows up in yourspiritual walk, by staying busy
but feeling blocked.
And have you ever thought aboutwhy is it we do that?
We fill our calendars witheverything under the sun, right,
like Bible study, schoolactivities, a new workout plan,
maybe even a new boo,reorganizing the pantry again,
(02:52):
scrolling social, like it's ourjob Anything, just anything, to
stay and keep moving, so wedon't have to sit still with
what's really going on.
It's like we think if we justdo enough, we won't have to feel
too much.
That might hurt someone rightthere.
But busyness, it isn't healing,listen, it's just noise and a
(03:16):
very crowded heart.
And here's the hard part that Ihave found Sometimes
unforgiveness it is hidden.
It's not always the usualsuspect, like the ex or your
parents.
It could be towards yourself,oh yes, in the form of guilt or
shame.
You just can't shake, eventowards God, over something you
(03:39):
felt he could have stopped, oreven and you may not see this
one coming even your kids, forwhat you feel you missed, lost
or endured.
Now that's a tough one.
Here's a hard truth for us toconsider.
We can't flourish while holdingon to what's festering.
I know that's good.
(04:00):
Unforgiveness as a foothold.
Have you ever had those momentswhere you felt like you lost
your footing, slipped or evenfell without not knowing what
you tripped over?
Sometimes that unseen tripwireis unforgiveness.
It's like a giant bit of rootjust under the surface, one you
(04:21):
didn't realize was still there,ready to snare you and throw you
off course.
And even worse, it gives theenemy access.
You see, unforgiveness isn'tjust a heart issue.
It's a foothold and a stepstool, a crack in the door that lets
in chaos and confusion.
Ephesians 4.27 even goes as faras to warn us, and I quote do
(04:47):
not give the devil a foothold.
And unforgiveness, ladies,listen, it is one of the easiest
footholds he uses.
Why?
Because it one, keeps you stuckin the past.
Two, it fuels lies like, forexample, they don't deserve it
or I'll never get over this.
Three, it also distracts youfrom the healing God wants to do
(05:12):
in you and not just around you.
You see, bitterness, let's thinkof it this way.
Bitterness is a bait and theenemy is counting on you to bite
.
So, listen, I think we need totake that worm, that bait, off
the hook, because here's thegood news, and I got lots of it
(05:33):
Forgiveness shuts that door, itsevers the stronghold, it roots
out the tripwire and it clearsthe path for healing and peace.
Who doesn't need some of that?
Isn't that, honestly?
Let's think about it.
Isn't that, honestly, what weare really after?
Maybe not for them, the otherperson right now, but for you
(05:56):
and even your kids.
Listen, I know forgiveness isn'tthe thing we want to do.
I get it totally, but it shouldbe the thing we choose to do to
free our families and theirfuture.
So hear me out.
You could be the hero or theshero in your family right now,
(06:18):
the one who breaks the pattern,ends the cycle and faiths it
forward.
So why would you want to dothat, you may be asking yourself
.
Well, here's what forgivenessgives back.
Forgiveness isn't about beingokay with what happened.
Some of you listening havewalked through some deep trauma
(06:40):
things done to you that shouldnever have happened and can't be
undone.
Some wounds require stitchesand, yes, they leave scars, but
unforgiveness, it, keeps thosewounds wide open.
So hear me clearly Forgivenessis not saying it was okay.
It's choosing to no longer letit have power over you, and I'm
(07:04):
going to say that again it'schoosing to no longer let it
have what Power over you.
So if it no longer has powerover you, then what does
forgiveness give in return?
How about your peace back, yourpower, back your identity back,
(07:27):
not as a victim but as a victor, your joy, freedom and
wholeness?
And how about some clarity ofthought?
I would like some of that.
Yes, and let's be real,forgiving doesn't mean being
buddies with the offender.
In no way am I suggesting that.
So let's be clear.
But let's also be clear aboutthis.
Boundaries are biblical.
(07:49):
Forgiveness is about release,not let me say it right
reconciliation.
There we go.
So let's take the bait off thehook and release the fish that
is on, throw it back in thewater and then reel in your line
, girl, and then, when youforgive even before you feel
(08:13):
like it, because you're notgoing to always feel like you
want to do this this is what itdoes.
It creates a space for God todo what only he can do Heal.
That's a yes and an amen.
So, okay, how do we do thiswhen we don't want to?
Well, here are some practicalways that I have found to
(08:34):
forgive and listen.
You don't need to feel it to doit.
Faith isn't a feeling, andneither is forgiveness, despite
what we may believe.
So here are some practicalsteps.
I have found in my own life thatyou too can take One, name it
and like this who or what do youneed to forgive?
Think about that Now.
(08:55):
Remember also that some thingsmay be hidden, so you may need
to pray about this, allowing Godto shine a light on what is not
seen or in plain view.
Then, two, once you've named it, write it down, journal your
hurt and then cross it out andwrite I quote I release this in
Jesus name out and write, Iquote, I release this in Jesus
(09:18):
name.
Then, number three pray throughit, daily breath prayer.
Like God, I give you what Icannot carry.
Four speak it aloud like thisSay I don't know, I choose to
forgive, and then fill in theblank for blank offense.
Even if it hurt, I will not letit harden me.
And then five bless it insteadof bash it like a pinata.
Ask God to bless them.
(09:40):
Yep, even them.
Now, I know this last one feelscompletely counterintuitive,
but remember, god's ways are notour ways right.
And here's the kicker Blessingthem just might bless you too.
So I'm going to go ahead andI'm going to double dog, dare
(10:01):
you Yep, I said it to write downthe date in your journal when
you ask God to bless that person.
Then be on the lookout, watchhow he moves, because when you
pay attention with intention,you just might get a front row
seat to see how God shows up.
And when he does go back tothat journal, highlight it,
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circle it, draw stars around it.
Let it become a signpost, abold reminder of where God has
been faithful.
When you gave a littleforgiveness, teaching
forgiveness at the table.
Now, forgiveness shouldn't justbe something you practice, it
should be something you pass on.
Let's be the generation thatraises kids who learn early how
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to release, not rehearse, theirpain.
That, my friend, is some realhead start education.
So here's how to get theconversation going, but first,
phones down, no swiping,scrolling or side texting.
Okay, sister and you, mama, bepresent at the dinner table like
it's sacred, because it is.
(11:09):
Start with a simple,open-hearted question like did
anything happen at school orwith a friend this week that
made you feel sad, left out ormad?
For example, did someone leaveyou out at recess or say
something mean?
Two, is there anyone you'restill upset with, maybe a
teacher, a classmate or even me?
Here's another question how doyou know the difference between
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wanting something to be maderight and just wanting to get
back at someone?
This is going to help themunderstand justice versus
revenge.
For example, you can say at thetable okay, let's say someone
at school broke your favoritepencil on purpose, wanting them
to say sorry, or tell theteacher that's wanting it to be
(11:53):
made right.
Them to say sorry, or tell theteacher that's wanting it to be
made right, but if you decide tobreak their pencil later just
to get even now, that's revenge.
One brings healing and theother brings more hurt.
Then you can follow up thatthought or example with a so
what do you think Jesus wouldwant us to do and how could we
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handle it differently next time?
Then you can also ask questionslike okay, why do you think
forgiving someone is hard, butwhat can it do for our hearts?
Now, this might be a littlehard for them, so let's, let's
explore this a little.
So this question is what it'sgoing to do.
It's going to allow them toexplore how forgiveness can make
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them feel lighter, freer, oreven the hurt that was so big.
Now, for younger kids, who mightnot have words yet, you could
try a color feelings activity.
You could say let's play acolor game.
If your heart feels happy, whatcolor would it be?
What about mad or sad, orconfused?
Then let them point to crayonsor color swatches, or even draw
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it on paper.
Then say now, if someone hurtsyour heart, what color do you
think it turns?
Let them answer this freely,okay, even if it's dark, like
black or red.
Then you can even ask if weforgive them and let God help us
.
What color do you think ourheart becomes again?
You see, what this does is.
This opens the door toconversations about emotional
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healing in a way that kids getto use their imagination and our
visual elements.
Then finish it with thisForgiveness helps our hearts
change color again back to peaceand joy, and God can help us do
that even when it's hard.
So let's not forget who alsomight be sitting at your table
and that might be your troubledteen, the ones that don't say
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much but are feeling so much.
Right, hormones are real andemotions are high, and sometimes
they just are mad or sad andthey don't even know why.
That doesn't make them broken,ladies, it makes them human,
kind of like.
We are every 28 days on ourcycle, right, just saying so?
Try saying something like thishey, I've noticed you seem a
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little off this week Mad, quiet,maybe even sad, and you might
not even know why.
And listen, that's okay.
I just want you to know thatyou don't have to figure it all
out alone.
We can talk about this, we canpray, or we can even just sit.
You're not a problem to fix youand talk about this.
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We can pray or we can even justsit.
You're not a problem to fix,you're a person I love.
Then follow up with somethinglike you know, sometimes when we
carry unforgiveness, I havefound that, even if it's just
heavy feelings, we thinkignoring it will make it go away
, but usually it just builds up.
You don't have to carry thatstuff alone and I'm here when
you're ready.
You can even offer them ajournal or safe space or place
to write, draw or even ventSomething private between them
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and God.
If they don't want to talk yetand here's a teachable moment
straight from mom this is alwaysa great one to do at the table,
so they get to experience andsee you as a human being as well
.
And maybe you say somethinglike this you know what guys?
Mommy had to forgive someonetoday too.
I was driving and someone cutme off and I got so mad I wanted
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to yell, even give him theuniversal hand wave, but instead
I asked God to help me forgivethem, because you know, I don't
know what kind of day they mightbe having.
Maybe they're rushing to thehospital, or maybe they're just
late for a Chick-fil-A milkshake.
Either way, praying helped mecalm down and it helped me
(15:28):
breathe again.
That's the power of prayer.
It shifts our focus from whatsomeone did to us to what God
can do in us.
So let's ask ourselves is thereanyone and this is you guys at
the table again is there anyonewe need to forgive today, at
school, at home or even righthere at this table, let's say a
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prayer together.
And because listen when we prayand I want you to emphasize
this because when we pray, whenwe bring forgiveness into our
prayer life, we don't just letgo, we let God in.
That's where the peace comesfrom, that's where the healing
begins.
Ladies, let forgiveness be apart of your daily rhythm, not
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just a reaction.
Make it a family culture, notjust a personal struggle.
Daily and in the moment,prayers for forgiveness.
So here's the truth Forgivenessdoesn't have to wait until
bedtime, and these are thingsyou want to emphasize with your
kids.
It doesn't have to wait untilbedtime prayers your bedtime
prayers is what I mean or whenyou finally calm down.
(16:34):
You and your kids can talk toGod right now, in the moment, on
the playground, in school, inthe hallway, during a car ride
or even while someone is stillhurting your feelings.
These are important things toemphasize with your kids.
You want to teach them that youdon't have to wait to get home,
to get it off your chest.
What you want to do is you wantto get it to God right away and
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right then and right there.
Now, for the little ones, it'seasy to remember, to say out
loud or whisper to God this iswhat you could tell them, like
things like Jesus, help me notto be mad.
I want to forgive like you orGod, take this yucky feeling.
I don't want to keep it.
Or help my heart.
Be kind, even when peoplearen't.
(17:19):
Now for your strong-willed,emotional or hurting teens that
are real and raw, here are someprayers that they can shout out
to God.
Listen, god, I'm mad, you seeit.
Help me not stay stuck here,jesus, help me, let go before it
eats me up.
Or I don't feel like forgiving,but I choose to try.
Meet me in the trying, and hereare prayers for both you and
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your kids to pray together.
This is great.
God, help me forgive like you.
Do Not because they deserve it,because I need the freedom.
Jesus, heal what I can't fix.
Help me let go of what hurts,even when I don't feel ready.
Holy Spirit, fill the placeswhere bitterness has been.
I choose peace.
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You can even write one of theseon a sticky note and put it in
a backpack, a lunchbox or amirror, mama, anywhere they'll
see it in the middle of theirday.
Because, listen, forgivenessisn't just something we learn.
It is something we live outmoment by moment, one prayer at
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a time.
So, as I close, my hope is thatyour greatest takeaway today is
that forgiveness is not aweakness.
It is a spiritual strength.
It doesn't erase the past.
It releases its hold on yourfuture, though.
It's not about excusing theoffense.
It's about choosing your ownfreedom.
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It's your choice whether youwant to be a prisoner to to it
or live as you are free.
Indeed, listen, my friends, youcan flourish, but not while
your hands are full ofbitterness.
You got to let it go, girl, andwatch God grow something new.
If you need prayer or someone towalk with you in this season of
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unforgiveness, call 24-7 ourprayer line at 855-822-PRAY.
We are here to help you getthrough some unforgiveness, girl
, and on to your healing.
Until next time, walk in grace,live in truth and remember.
It's a single mom thing, but itdoesn't have to be the thing
that stops you.
Thanks for listening to.
(19:25):
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer.
Visit us atwwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer For moreinformation and resources.
Check out our show notes.
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