January 13, 2025 • 27 mins
Tired of making New Year’s resolutions that fade faster than a load of laundry? In this episode of It’s A Single Mom Thing, we’re flipping the script and turning those fleeting resolutions into single mom solutions that actually work. Whether you’re looking to set realistic goals, embrace guilt-free progress, or find practical ways to thrive in 2025, this episode is packed with actionable advice tailored just for you.
Discover:
✅ How to redefine success as a single mom and celebrate small wins.
✅ Why flexible, realistic goals that bend with you are the key to crushing it this year.
✅ A step-by-step journal exercise to turn resolutions into solutions.
✅ Sassy scriptures and affirmations to silence the guilt and keep you inspired.
✅ Tools like the Pause App, LinkedIn Learning, and our exclusive "It’s A Single Mom Thing" Facebook group to keep you motivated all year long.
Join us as we unpack the truth about what it takes to thrive, not just survive, as a single mom. Don’t forget to check the show notes for your personalized Tool Chest filled with resources to make this your best year yet! 💪✨
Tool Chest:
Pause App
LinkedIn Learning
Coursera
Mint
Every Dollar
It's A Single Mom Thing Support Group/Class
It's A Single Mom Thing Facebook Group
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
So I want to start this podcast, my single peeps, with a little
hand clap for you.
We are the most successful,longest running, faith-filled
(00:24):
podcast for single moms, now inour fifth season, thanks to you.
So listen, don't keep us asecret.
You need to share us with asolo sister that you know who
needs a little additionalsupport.
Now let's get on to our show.
Let me ask you something.
Now let's get on to our show.
(00:45):
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever started and myguess is yes a resolution like
saving more money, gettinghealthier or even being nicer to
yourself, only to throw in thetowel a few weeks later, when
life as a single mom gotoverwhelming?
Maybe you felt the guilt of notsticking to a goal because
everything else in life demandedyour attention.
(01:05):
Sound familiar?
Well, today's episode, then, isfor you, girl.
We're diving into the deep endof the pool head first, into how
to crush your goals without theguilt, turning those New Year's
resolutions into real lifesolutions that actually work for
your life.
Ladies, you know, as we havetalked about this before, if you
(01:27):
want something different, youhave to do something different.
This year, I'm going to keepyou on track to your single mom
success.
So grab your Thriving 25journal and let's get started
Redefining success.
Small wins, bigger changes.
So, ladies, let's start byfirst redefining success,
(01:51):
putting it into practical termsfor your life as a single mama.
Now, like I said, get yourThriving 25 Journals out.
If you've missed last week'sepisode, ladies, I would
encourage you to start there.
Then come back to this episodeto catch up.
So, in thinking of success, itdoesn't have to look like
(02:11):
perfection and it certainlydoesn't have to mirror anyone
else's journey, especially amama who has a spouse.
For a single mom, success mightmean having dinner on the table
and your kids in bed on time,your kids helping I don't know
you clear the dinner table,finding five minutes to sit with
a cup of coffee in peace, tenminutes to prepare a grocery
(02:35):
list, or get this even 30minutes to pair that with a
weekly meal plan.
It's about creating simplesystems that simplify your life
while finding moments that bringjoy, no matter how small.
It doesn't take much to make asingle mama happy, right?
So here's my pro tip for you asyou start this journey don't
(03:00):
fall into the trap of comparison.
In my experience, I have foundthat society often tells us that
success is about climbing thecareer ladder or having a
picture-perfect family or figure, or what about reaching
financial milestones.
But let's get real.
For single moms, success isdeeply personal, am I right?
(03:24):
Let's use my life for exampleFor me.
I had to climb off that careerladder as I chose to be a
present parent.
When I became a single parent,putting my son's priorities, my
family and not my careeraspirations ahead of us, I
simply put those on pause.
(03:44):
So for me to be home for my boywell, that meant that I had to
look for jobs that afforded methat opportunity, but, if I'm
honest, it didn't always pay thehighest wage.
But time with my son well, thatwas priceless, no matter the
cost.
So listen, girl, give yourselfgrace with this.
It's about personal progressover perfection and learning to
(04:08):
celebrate the little wins thatbuild momentum for bigger,
lasting, impactful changes foryou and your family.
So let's do this.
Take a moment and ask yourselfwhat does success look like for
me in this season of life.
Now, listen, I want you to keepthis in the back of your mind
(04:29):
and remember that I said in thisseason of life, not the season
of life when you were withoutchild, or even maybe when you
had a spouse or a partner.
This is a solo season of lifethat I'm talking about, so maybe
it's spending more quality timewith the kids or taking steps
towards financial stability.
(04:50):
Whatever that is, I want you towrite it down in your journal
and own it.
Your definition of success isthe only one that matters.
Now, once you've redefined yoursuccess in your journal, create
another page and title it.
I don't know.
My Success Snapshot.
You got it.
(05:10):
Okay.
Now I want you to write downthree things that make you feel
successful right now, no matterhow small or silly they seem.
Maybe it's managing to pay thebills this month, flossing your
teeth, taking a shower today,getting your kids to school on
time, starting off your daywithout rushing or even yelling
(05:33):
at your kids, or maybe even notdoing a drive-thru dinner
tonight.
These are your wins, and listen, girl, they matter.
From resolution to singlesolutions Okay, you've lived on
this planet for a while, so youare no stranger to resolutions,
(05:53):
but how about single mamasolutions?
Let's talk about the big reasonwhy New Year's resolutions
often fail.
That's well, because they'retemporary fixes to your fixes.
You see, we promise ourselvesthat we'll eat healthier, save
more money or exercise every day, but then life happens and
(06:14):
those goals, yeah, they fadeaway.
You see, in that moment, we getso focused on the feeling and
the fix it gives us in thatmoment that we never make them
the new standard we decree tolive by.
So listen, what if we stopthinking about our resolutions
as short term challenges andmaybe instead saw them as long
(06:36):
term, single solutions for ourlives?
Maybe we'd stick to it.
Maybe we'd stick to it Like,instead of thinking as I don't
know, you've heard this before adiet which has the root word
die in it, let's think of theseas lifestyle changes, right?
So let's start with a reframegoal.
(06:59):
Okay, for example, instead ofsetting a goal like I want to
lose weight, think about thedeeper purpose behind it.
What problem are you trying tosolve?
Maybe you want to feelhealthier?
Your complexion, you want yourcomplexion to be brighter.
You want to eat cleaner, reduceinflammation, maybe even change
the way you eat so you havemore energy to keep up with your
(07:20):
kids or even feel moreconfident in your skin.
By focusing on the why, you canturn a resolution into a single
solution that truly fits yourlife.
So write it down.
What is my why?
Listen, and this is where Ireally want you to focus.
When you know the why behindsomething, you make that your
(07:42):
new standard for your life.
So when it gets hard or youwant to quit, or listen to what,
and when all the why nots wantto show up, you can remind
yourself well, what's my why?
Then my guess is you will wantto win at all costs.
When you know your why andhere's what I mean that by that.
(08:02):
Going back to me, for example,getting down off that career
ladder.
When it came to times that myson wanted to do things that
were outside of my budget whichwould lead to single mom guilt,
if I let it I'd ask myself well,what's my why?
Why did I put myself on thistight budget and why did I
(08:23):
choose to step off the careerladder?
Oh yeah, my why was being apresent parent at all cost.
You see, I didn't want someoneelse raising my kid.
I didn't want him at home aloneeither, nor in extended daycare
while I focused on climbing acareer ladder in extended
(08:47):
daycare.
While I focused on climbing acareer ladder let's be honest,
though, that would have had myincome climb, but at what price?
So instead, my single solutionwas to look for free and fun
events in my area that I plannedon the weekends ahead of time
of when I had him and I wouldpack our lunches and off we'd go
.
But it was definitely free andit had to be fun.
(09:07):
So, listen, your why has to bebig enough, impactful enough, so
when the why nots come for you,you don't let them in.
Instead, you remind yourselfwhy you closed the door on those
opportunities.
So let's get practical here andturn a resolution into a single
(09:28):
solution.
Right here.
Resolution let's say you have aresolution of I want to save
more money.
Well, that's a really broadgeneral goal that your brain
can't follow.
But if you adapted that to asingle solution, like, I'll
create a meal plan every Sundayso I stop overspending on
takeout during the week.
(09:48):
The single solution well, thatis actionable and it's actually
sustainable.
It solves the problem insteadof just scratching the surface.
It's something that you canactually see.
It's a stepping stone that you,my friend, put down on your
path to single success.
Now listen, single solutions.
(10:10):
They aren't about perfection,so you're going to have to throw
that one out the window.
They're about creating small,simple, sustainable habits that
grow over time.
Think of it like planting seedsEach small step you take
becomes part of a bigger, morefulfilling lifestyle.
(10:32):
That happens over time.
So in your Thrive in 25 journal, I want you to create another
page titled Resolutions toSingle Solutions.
Okay, you're with me Now writedown one resolution that you've
made in the past and askyourself what problem was I
(10:55):
trying to solve?
Then rewrite it as a singlesolution that feels actionable
and realistic for you right nowin your life.
Remember, it's going to beabout progress and not
perfection, so don't be socritical here.
So, as your success, it'simportant.
Please take a moment and pauseand really think about this and
then come back.
(11:15):
I'll be right here waiting foryou, setting realistic and
flexible goals that bend withyou.
Let's face it life as a singlemom is anything but predictable
that we can predict.
That's why setting rigid goalswell, they can sometimes feel
like setting yourself up forfailure.
(11:36):
They're not flexible.
Instead, let's talk aboutcreating realistic, flexible
goals that adjust with yourseason of life, so you're not
constantly battling guilt orfeeling overwhelmed.
You ready, okay?
So we're going to introducewhat I'm calling the SMART.
So let's do something smart.
(11:59):
Okay, seriously, I hope you gotyour pen in handy and you're
going to write this acronym downin your journal SMART S-M-A-R-T
.
The S is for specific, m ismeasurable, a is achievable, r
is relevant and T is time bound.
(12:23):
Now think about your goals likea GPS on your path to success.
If you don't have a specificdirection, you'll never reach
your destination.
A smart goal that's going togive you clarity and that makes
your goal feel less like a pipedream and more like a plan, but
a plan that is actuallyactionable because you can see
(12:46):
the steps.
For example, instead of sayingI wanna be more organized, try,
I will spend 15 minutes everyevening prepping for the next
day.
Now for you, I don't know.
What does that look like?
Is that maybe having thelunches pre-made coffee,
pre-programmed clothes pickedout for the next day, backpacks
(13:08):
at the front door with all thehomework assignments checked,
dinner thawing in the fridge?
I don't know.
Ladies, you know what prep todo to give your tomorrow some
pep in the right step.
So think about that.
And here's why flexibility iskey, as your goals will bend
with you.
As a single mom, you know.
(13:29):
We know that life can throw uscurveballs out of nowhere A sick
kid, an unexpected expense likegoing to the doctor and now
having to pay for medicine, oreven just an exhausting day that
can derail the best laid plans.
I know you've been there andthat's okay.
Flexibility, see, that's goingto give us some grace to adjust
(13:53):
our goals without feeling likewe failed, and that, my dear,
also gives you grit.
So here's a quick journalexercise.
And listen, I know I'm givingyou quite the workout here, so I
appreciate your flexibility.
So, on this page, I want you totitle this my Flexible Goals
(14:15):
Plan, and I want you to do this.
I want you to write down onelong term goal you have for this
year, for example, like saving$1,000 for an emergency fund.
Now step two.
I want you to break that downinto smaller, flexible steps,
like save $20 each week.
Add a backup plan, because youknow life happens when things
(14:39):
don't go as expected, and thatcan say if I can't save one week
, I will double up the next week.
See, you have to remember hereand this is where grace is going
to be so important.
You need to remember thatprogress is progress, no matter
how small it may seem.
The key here is to keep movingforward, even if the pace
(15:02):
changes along the way, alsobeing mindful to celebrate your
failures, as we discussed lastweek, as your success.
It's near Small wins, bigchanges, practical resolutions,
slash solutions for single momsNow here's where we're going to
get a little practical forsingle moms.
(15:25):
Now here's where we're going toget a little practical.
What are some resolutions orsolutions that can make your
life as a single mom easier,more joyful and more manageable?
I have a few ideas of my own,from my own experience.
Number one, may I suggeststreamline your finances.
The resolution could be createa weekly budget and stick to it.
(15:46):
In fact, have fun with it.
If you are a competitive personlike me, I like to use this as
a self-challenge to see if Icould actually do it.
When I go to the grocery store,knowing how much money I have
planned to spend, I get excitedto see if, how good I can get at
doing just that.
So when I come home, I look atmy budget and we compare it to
(16:07):
my receipt and I would see whereeither I save some Benjamins or
needed to reallocate some.
I prefer for me and this isjust a pro tip a digital version
like Google Sheets or Excel,because it's easily accessible
and it does the math for me.
So that was one long-windedresolution.
So here's the solution Set upautomatic savings transfers or
(16:30):
try a budgeting tool like Mintor EveryDollar.
I will have that link in theshow notes.
Number two prioritize self-care.
Here's the resolution.
Take 10 minutes a day torecharge.
That was the resolution, buthere's the solution.
Whether it's a walk, journaling, breath work or even a cup of
(16:51):
tea, make it a non-negotiablepart of your day and remember
your why.
Number three how about do youhave a goal as declutter your
home?
Well, maybe your resolution waslike organize one area of your
home each month, but here's asolution Break it into small
tasks, like a drawer or a closet, to avoid overwhelm and
(17:16):
feelings of having to do it allin one day.
Number four strengthen yourfaith.
Your resolution might have beento start each morning with five
minutes of prayer or scripturereading, but here's a solution
Use a devotional app or keepyour Bible right there in your
nightstand for easy access.
Consider downloading the Pauseapp, which, again, I will have
(17:37):
in the link in the show noteswhich offers a one minute yes, I
said one minute guided pausewith God daily.
It's about building yourspiritual stillness muscle to
sit quietly and connect with him.
How about number five?
Do you have one that says buildyour support network?
Your resolution might havesounded like connect with one
(17:58):
single mom or community groupthis month, but here's a
solution Join a local single momsupport group.
I know of one.
Stay tuned to the end of thepodcast for more information, or
start by reaching out to afriend.
Remember this is support, sothere are sisters.
They have to be sisters thatare going to hold you up, not
(18:20):
hold you down.
Number six learn a new skill.
The resolution may have soundedlike take one free online
course this year, but thesolution platforms like Coursera
, linkedin Learning or YouTubeare great for affordable
learning and I will have thoselinks in the show notes.
(18:41):
Overcoming guilt and pressure.
So let's ditch the guilt thatcomes with feeling like we're
not doing enough.
Your resolution should serveyou, not the other way around.
So here are some declarationsfor a guilt-free mindset and
again you may need to pause andcome back to these.
(19:02):
Number one I'm doing the best Ican and that's more than enough
.
Number two God's got my back soI can give myself grace where I
fall short.
Three progress, not perfection,is what matters, and I'm moving
forward one step at a time.
Number four I choose to speaklife over myself and my
(19:26):
situation because God's promisesare bigger than my problems.
Number five guilt has no roomin my heart, only faith,
strength and the joy of God'slove.
Now for my sisters that like alittle scripture.
Here's a little sassy twistwith Sherry.
Philippians 4.13 says I can doall things through Christ, who
(19:48):
strengthens me, said Sherry,mama, you're unstoppable because
Christ has your back.
So toss that guilt and own yourstrength.
Number two how about Isaiah40.31?
But those who hope in the Lordwill renew their strength.
They will soar on wings likeeagles.
They will run and not growweary.
They will walk and not be faint.
(20:10):
A sassy Sherry twist to that isgirl, you're an eagle, not a
chicken.
Hope in the Lord and keepsoaring.
Romans 8, 1.
Therefore, there is now nocondemnation for those who are
in Christ.
Said differently with Sherry noguilt, no shame, just grace.
You're rocking this single mom.
(20:30):
Life under God's love.
Just thought we'd have a littlefun there with scripture as
well.
Accountability without overwhelm.
Now, this is going to beimportant because, listen, your
success is going to be importantand accountability is going to
be a big key to that.
Now, accountability doesn'tmean pressure.
It does mean support, just that.
So you want to find someone whowill cheer you on, not judge
(20:53):
you.
A sister, maybe, who has walkedthe season as a solo mama,
maybe a few steps ahead of youor even alongside you right now,
a confidant that you canconfide in, who will not always
tell you what you want to hear,but what you need to hear.
A sister or a mentor who cansit down with you and that you
can share your solutions for theyear with, who can check on you
(21:15):
to see how you're doing andeven remind you of your why.
A sister who will pray for youin this single season of life,
pray for your transformation andyour single success.
A sister, when you areoverwhelmed, will overwhelm you
with her love in return.
Interactive journal exercise.
(21:37):
So we are gonna turn someresolutions into solutions and
this is where we're going toclose.
So I'm gonna leave you withsome homework and this is a
little interactive journalexercise of turning our
resolutions into solutions.
So, warning, you may need tostop and pause this podcast to
get it on paper, but for yourease, I will also include it as
(21:59):
a link in the it's a Single MomThing Facebook group, where I
will post a podcast episode post.
Ah, you're not a part of thatgroup?
Well, be sure to check out myshow notes, as I will give you a
link on how to subscribe.
So step number one we're goingto reflect on the past and we're
going to take five minutes here.
Title a journal page calledLessons from Last Year.
(22:22):
And then what I want you to dois write down what worked well
last year.
For example, I started a mealprepping plan and it saved me
time.
What didn't work?
Example I joined the gym butstopped going after February.
What made me feel mostfulfilled, for example, was it
spending quality time with mykids?
(22:43):
Then number two.
Step number two I want you toidentify a resolution and turn
it into a solution, and you wantto take about 10 minutes here.
Title a new page in yourjournal called my Solution for
Thrive in 25.
And think of one resolutionyou've had in the past.
For example, was it losingweight, saving money or being
(23:06):
more organized?
Now ask yourself what problemdoes this resolution solve in my
life?
For example, losing weightgives me more energy to play
with my kids.
And then I want you to thinkabout how can I make this
resolution a lifestyle solutioninstead of a one-time goal, for
example.
Solution instead of a one-timegoal.
(23:29):
For example, instead offocusing on weight loss, I'll
commit to taking a 15-minutewalk every evening with my kids.
Number three you're going tocreate a mini action plan and
you want to spend maybe justabout five minutes here.
On the same page, jot down onesmall, actionable step you can
take this week, for example,putting sneakers by the door to
remind yourself to take a walkafter dinner.
(23:50):
Remember, it's about keeping itsimple here.
Step four speak life into yourgoals and, again, just take five
minutes.
This is five minutes of yourtime and on a new page in your
journal, right at the top, wordsof life for my solution.
Then write down a positiveaffirmation, declaration or
prayer to encourage yourself.
(24:10):
For example, it could saysomething like I'm capable of
making small changes that leadto big results.
Or God guide me as I makechoices that bring joy and
balance to my life.
Step five track your progress,and this is going to be ongoing,
so you're going to want tocreate a section in your journal
for the wins of the week andthat's what you want to title it
(24:32):
Each week.
Get excited and write down onesuccess, no matter how small,
related to your solution.
It could be.
I don't know, I walked threetimes this week.
So, as I close, I'm going to askyou, ladies, can we make a new
year, single solution this year?
Let's make this year the yearthat we stop starting and
(24:52):
stopping resolutions and insteadfocus on solutions that truly
transform our lives, small stepsthat lead into big changes.
And remember we've got this.
Remember it's not aboutperfection.
It's about showing up foryourself and your family, and
here's some ways that you coulddo that right now, and I've
(25:14):
included the links and what I'mcalling the tool chest in our
show notes.
You can join our private it's aSingle Mom Thing Facebook group
where I will share weeklyMonday Mindsets and Thursday
Think Through it posts to keepyou inspired and grounded.
If you live in the Tampa Bayarea, you can check out our it's
a Single Mom Thing class thatmeets the second and fourth
(25:36):
Tuesday of each month.
Visit shepherdsvillagecomforward slash classes to view
our year-long class schedule andto see the road to success that
we are paving for you.
Never miss an episode.
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts,iheartradio or Spotify, and if
you love this podcast, pleaseleave a review on Apple Podcasts
(25:58):
.
It certainly helps us reachmore single moms just like you.
And don't forget to check outthe Pause app, a quick and
powerful way to take aone-minute guided pause with God
.
It's an incredible tool to helpyou build your spiritual
stillness muscle and find peacein your day.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
(26:18):
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
(26:40):
notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
So I want to start this podcast, my single peeps, with a little
hand clap for you.
We are the most successful,longest running, faith-filled
(00:24):
podcast for single moms, now inour fifth season, thanks to you.
So listen, don't keep us asecret.
You need to share us with asolo sister that you know who
needs a little additionalsupport.
Now let's get on to our show.
Let me ask you something.
Now let's get on to our show.
(00:45):
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever started and myguess is yes a resolution like
saving more money, gettinghealthier or even being nicer to
yourself, only to throw in thetowel a few weeks later, when
life as a single mom gotoverwhelming?
Maybe you felt the guilt of notsticking to a goal because
everything else in life demandedyour attention.
(01:05):
Sound familiar?
Well, today's episode, then, isfor you, girl.
We're diving into the deep endof the pool head first, into how
to crush your goals without theguilt, turning those New Year's
resolutions into real lifesolutions that actually work for
your life.
Ladies, you know, as we havetalked about this before, if you
(01:27):
want something different, youhave to do something different.
This year, I'm going to keepyou on track to your single mom
success.
So grab your Thriving 25journal and let's get started
Redefining success.
Small wins, bigger changes.
So, ladies, let's start byfirst redefining success,
(01:51):
putting it into practical termsfor your life as a single mama.
Now, like I said, get yourThriving 25 Journals out.
If you've missed last week'sepisode, ladies, I would
encourage you to start there.
Then come back to this episodeto catch up.
So, in thinking of success, itdoesn't have to look like
(02:11):
perfection and it certainlydoesn't have to mirror anyone
else's journey, especially amama who has a spouse.
For a single mom, success mightmean having dinner on the table
and your kids in bed on time,your kids helping I don't know
you clear the dinner table,finding five minutes to sit with
a cup of coffee in peace, tenminutes to prepare a grocery
(02:35):
list, or get this even 30minutes to pair that with a
weekly meal plan.
It's about creating simplesystems that simplify your life
while finding moments that bringjoy, no matter how small.
It doesn't take much to make asingle mama happy, right?
So here's my pro tip for you asyou start this journey don't
(03:00):
fall into the trap of comparison.
In my experience, I have foundthat society often tells us that
success is about climbing thecareer ladder or having a
picture-perfect family or figure, or what about reaching
financial milestones.
But let's get real.
For single moms, success isdeeply personal, am I right?
(03:24):
Let's use my life for exampleFor me.
I had to climb off that careerladder as I chose to be a
present parent.
When I became a single parent,putting my son's priorities, my
family and not my careeraspirations ahead of us, I
simply put those on pause.
(03:44):
So for me to be home for my boywell, that meant that I had to
look for jobs that afforded methat opportunity, but, if I'm
honest, it didn't always pay thehighest wage.
But time with my son well, thatwas priceless, no matter the
cost.
So listen, girl, give yourselfgrace with this.
It's about personal progressover perfection and learning to
(04:08):
celebrate the little wins thatbuild momentum for bigger,
lasting, impactful changes foryou and your family.
So let's do this.
Take a moment and ask yourselfwhat does success look like for
me in this season of life.
Now, listen, I want you to keepthis in the back of your mind
(04:29):
and remember that I said in thisseason of life, not the season
of life when you were withoutchild, or even maybe when you
had a spouse or a partner.
This is a solo season of lifethat I'm talking about, so maybe
it's spending more quality timewith the kids or taking steps
towards financial stability.
(04:50):
Whatever that is, I want you towrite it down in your journal
and own it.
Your definition of success isthe only one that matters.
Now, once you've redefined yoursuccess in your journal, create
another page and title it.
I don't know.
My Success Snapshot.
You got it.
(05:10):
Okay.
Now I want you to write downthree things that make you feel
successful right now, no matterhow small or silly they seem.
Maybe it's managing to pay thebills this month, flossing your
teeth, taking a shower today,getting your kids to school on
time, starting off your daywithout rushing or even yelling
(05:33):
at your kids, or maybe even notdoing a drive-thru dinner
tonight.
These are your wins, and listen, girl, they matter.
From resolution to singlesolutions Okay, you've lived on
this planet for a while, so youare no stranger to resolutions,
(05:53):
but how about single mamasolutions?
Let's talk about the big reasonwhy New Year's resolutions
often fail.
That's well, because they'retemporary fixes to your fixes.
You see, we promise ourselvesthat we'll eat healthier, save
more money or exercise every day, but then life happens and
(06:14):
those goals, yeah, they fadeaway.
You see, in that moment, we getso focused on the feeling and
the fix it gives us in thatmoment that we never make them
the new standard we decree tolive by.
So listen, what if we stopthinking about our resolutions
as short term challenges andmaybe instead saw them as long
(06:36):
term, single solutions for ourlives?
Maybe we'd stick to it.
Maybe we'd stick to it Like,instead of thinking as I don't
know, you've heard this before adiet which has the root word
die in it, let's think of theseas lifestyle changes, right?
So let's start with a reframegoal.
(06:59):
Okay, for example, instead ofsetting a goal like I want to
lose weight, think about thedeeper purpose behind it.
What problem are you trying tosolve?
Maybe you want to feelhealthier?
Your complexion, you want yourcomplexion to be brighter.
You want to eat cleaner, reduceinflammation, maybe even change
the way you eat so you havemore energy to keep up with your
(07:20):
kids or even feel moreconfident in your skin.
By focusing on the why, you canturn a resolution into a single
solution that truly fits yourlife.
So write it down.
What is my why?
Listen, and this is where Ireally want you to focus.
When you know the why behindsomething, you make that your
(07:42):
new standard for your life.
So when it gets hard or youwant to quit, or listen to what,
and when all the why nots wantto show up, you can remind
yourself well, what's my why?
Then my guess is you will wantto win at all costs.
When you know your why andhere's what I mean that by that.
(08:02):
Going back to me, for example,getting down off that career
ladder.
When it came to times that myson wanted to do things that
were outside of my budget whichwould lead to single mom guilt,
if I let it I'd ask myself well,what's my why?
Why did I put myself on thistight budget and why did I
(08:23):
choose to step off the careerladder?
Oh yeah, my why was being apresent parent at all cost.
You see, I didn't want someoneelse raising my kid.
I didn't want him at home aloneeither, nor in extended daycare
while I focused on climbing acareer ladder in extended
(08:47):
daycare.
While I focused on climbing acareer ladder let's be honest,
though, that would have had myincome climb, but at what price?
So instead, my single solutionwas to look for free and fun
events in my area that I plannedon the weekends ahead of time
of when I had him and I wouldpack our lunches and off we'd go
.
But it was definitely free andit had to be fun.
(09:07):
So, listen, your why has to bebig enough, impactful enough, so
when the why nots come for you,you don't let them in.
Instead, you remind yourselfwhy you closed the door on those
opportunities.
So let's get practical here andturn a resolution into a single
(09:28):
solution.
Right here.
Resolution let's say you have aresolution of I want to save
more money.
Well, that's a really broadgeneral goal that your brain
can't follow.
But if you adapted that to asingle solution, like, I'll
create a meal plan every Sundayso I stop overspending on
takeout during the week.
(09:48):
The single solution well, thatis actionable and it's actually
sustainable.
It solves the problem insteadof just scratching the surface.
It's something that you canactually see.
It's a stepping stone that you,my friend, put down on your
path to single success.
Now listen, single solutions.
(10:10):
They aren't about perfection,so you're going to have to throw
that one out the window.
They're about creating small,simple, sustainable habits that
grow over time.
Think of it like planting seedsEach small step you take
becomes part of a bigger, morefulfilling lifestyle.
(10:32):
That happens over time.
So in your Thrive in 25 journal, I want you to create another
page titled Resolutions toSingle Solutions.
Okay, you're with me Now writedown one resolution that you've
made in the past and askyourself what problem was I
(10:55):
trying to solve?
Then rewrite it as a singlesolution that feels actionable
and realistic for you right nowin your life.
Remember, it's going to beabout progress and not
perfection, so don't be socritical here.
So, as your success, it'simportant.
Please take a moment and pauseand really think about this and
then come back.
(11:15):
I'll be right here waiting foryou, setting realistic and
flexible goals that bend withyou.
Let's face it life as a singlemom is anything but predictable
that we can predict.
That's why setting rigid goalswell, they can sometimes feel
like setting yourself up forfailure.
(11:36):
They're not flexible.
Instead, let's talk aboutcreating realistic, flexible
goals that adjust with yourseason of life, so you're not
constantly battling guilt orfeeling overwhelmed.
You ready, okay?
So we're going to introducewhat I'm calling the SMART.
So let's do something smart.
(11:59):
Okay, seriously, I hope you gotyour pen in handy and you're
going to write this acronym downin your journal SMART S-M-A-R-T
.
The S is for specific, m ismeasurable, a is achievable, r
is relevant and T is time bound.
(12:23):
Now think about your goals likea GPS on your path to success.
If you don't have a specificdirection, you'll never reach
your destination.
A smart goal that's going togive you clarity and that makes
your goal feel less like a pipedream and more like a plan, but
a plan that is actuallyactionable because you can see
(12:46):
the steps.
For example, instead of sayingI wanna be more organized, try,
I will spend 15 minutes everyevening prepping for the next
day.
Now for you, I don't know.
What does that look like?
Is that maybe having thelunches pre-made coffee,
pre-programmed clothes pickedout for the next day, backpacks
(13:08):
at the front door with all thehomework assignments checked,
dinner thawing in the fridge?
I don't know.
Ladies, you know what prep todo to give your tomorrow some
pep in the right step.
So think about that.
And here's why flexibility iskey, as your goals will bend
with you.
As a single mom, you know.
(13:29):
We know that life can throw uscurveballs out of nowhere A sick
kid, an unexpected expense likegoing to the doctor and now
having to pay for medicine, oreven just an exhausting day that
can derail the best laid plans.
I know you've been there andthat's okay.
Flexibility, see, that's goingto give us some grace to adjust
(13:53):
our goals without feeling likewe failed, and that, my dear,
also gives you grit.
So here's a quick journalexercise.
And listen, I know I'm givingyou quite the workout here, so I
appreciate your flexibility.
So, on this page, I want you totitle this my Flexible Goals
(14:15):
Plan, and I want you to do this.
I want you to write down onelong term goal you have for this
year, for example, like saving$1,000 for an emergency fund.
Now step two.
I want you to break that downinto smaller, flexible steps,
like save $20 each week.
Add a backup plan, because youknow life happens when things
(14:39):
don't go as expected, and thatcan say if I can't save one week
, I will double up the next week.
See, you have to remember hereand this is where grace is going
to be so important.
You need to remember thatprogress is progress, no matter
how small it may seem.
The key here is to keep movingforward, even if the pace
(15:02):
changes along the way, alsobeing mindful to celebrate your
failures, as we discussed lastweek, as your success.
It's near Small wins, bigchanges, practical resolutions,
slash solutions for single momsNow here's where we're going to
get a little practical forsingle moms.
(15:25):
Now here's where we're going toget a little practical.
What are some resolutions orsolutions that can make your
life as a single mom easier,more joyful and more manageable?
I have a few ideas of my own,from my own experience.
Number one, may I suggeststreamline your finances.
The resolution could be createa weekly budget and stick to it.
(15:46):
In fact, have fun with it.
If you are a competitive personlike me, I like to use this as
a self-challenge to see if Icould actually do it.
When I go to the grocery store,knowing how much money I have
planned to spend, I get excitedto see if, how good I can get at
doing just that.
So when I come home, I look atmy budget and we compare it to
(16:07):
my receipt and I would see whereeither I save some Benjamins or
needed to reallocate some.
I prefer for me and this isjust a pro tip a digital version
like Google Sheets or Excel,because it's easily accessible
and it does the math for me.
So that was one long-windedresolution.
So here's the solution Set upautomatic savings transfers or
(16:30):
try a budgeting tool like Mintor EveryDollar.
I will have that link in theshow notes.
Number two prioritize self-care.
Here's the resolution.
Take 10 minutes a day torecharge.
That was the resolution, buthere's the solution.
Whether it's a walk, journaling, breath work or even a cup of
(16:51):
tea, make it a non-negotiablepart of your day and remember
your why.
Number three how about do youhave a goal as declutter your
home?
Well, maybe your resolution waslike organize one area of your
home each month, but here's asolution Break it into small
tasks, like a drawer or a closet, to avoid overwhelm and
(17:16):
feelings of having to do it allin one day.
Number four strengthen yourfaith.
Your resolution might have beento start each morning with five
minutes of prayer or scripturereading, but here's a solution
Use a devotional app or keepyour Bible right there in your
nightstand for easy access.
Consider downloading the Pauseapp, which, again, I will have
(17:37):
in the link in the show noteswhich offers a one minute yes, I
said one minute guided pausewith God daily.
It's about building yourspiritual stillness muscle to
sit quietly and connect with him.
How about number five?
Do you have one that says buildyour support network?
Your resolution might havesounded like connect with one
(17:58):
single mom or community groupthis month, but here's a
solution Join a local single momsupport group.
I know of one.
Stay tuned to the end of thepodcast for more information, or
start by reaching out to afriend.
Remember this is support, sothere are sisters.
They have to be sisters thatare going to hold you up, not
(18:20):
hold you down.
Number six learn a new skill.
The resolution may have soundedlike take one free online
course this year, but thesolution platforms like Coursera
, linkedin Learning or YouTubeare great for affordable
learning and I will have thoselinks in the show notes.
(18:41):
Overcoming guilt and pressure.
So let's ditch the guilt thatcomes with feeling like we're
not doing enough.
Your resolution should serveyou, not the other way around.
So here are some declarationsfor a guilt-free mindset and
again you may need to pause andcome back to these.
(19:02):
Number one I'm doing the best Ican and that's more than enough
.
Number two God's got my back soI can give myself grace where I
fall short.
Three progress, not perfection,is what matters, and I'm moving
forward one step at a time.
Number four I choose to speaklife over myself and my
(19:26):
situation because God's promisesare bigger than my problems.
Number five guilt has no roomin my heart, only faith,
strength and the joy of God'slove.
Now for my sisters that like alittle scripture.
Here's a little sassy twistwith Sherry.
Philippians 4.13 says I can doall things through Christ, who
(19:48):
strengthens me, said Sherry,mama, you're unstoppable because
Christ has your back.
So toss that guilt and own yourstrength.
Number two how about Isaiah40.31?
But those who hope in the Lordwill renew their strength.
They will soar on wings likeeagles.
They will run and not growweary.
They will walk and not be faint.
(20:10):
A sassy Sherry twist to that isgirl, you're an eagle, not a
chicken.
Hope in the Lord and keepsoaring.
Romans 8, 1.
Therefore, there is now nocondemnation for those who are
in Christ.
Said differently with Sherry noguilt, no shame, just grace.
You're rocking this single mom.
(20:30):
Life under God's love.
Just thought we'd have a littlefun there with scripture as
well.
Accountability without overwhelm.
Now, this is going to beimportant because, listen, your
success is going to be importantand accountability is going to
be a big key to that.
Now, accountability doesn'tmean pressure.
It does mean support, just that.
So you want to find someone whowill cheer you on, not judge
(20:53):
you.
A sister, maybe, who has walkedthe season as a solo mama,
maybe a few steps ahead of youor even alongside you right now,
a confidant that you canconfide in, who will not always
tell you what you want to hear,but what you need to hear.
A sister or a mentor who cansit down with you and that you
can share your solutions for theyear with, who can check on you
(21:15):
to see how you're doing andeven remind you of your why.
A sister who will pray for youin this single season of life,
pray for your transformation andyour single success.
A sister, when you areoverwhelmed, will overwhelm you
with her love in return.
Interactive journal exercise.
(21:37):
So we are gonna turn someresolutions into solutions and
this is where we're going toclose.
So I'm gonna leave you withsome homework and this is a
little interactive journalexercise of turning our
resolutions into solutions.
So, warning, you may need tostop and pause this podcast to
get it on paper, but for yourease, I will also include it as
(21:59):
a link in the it's a Single MomThing Facebook group, where I
will post a podcast episode post.
Ah, you're not a part of thatgroup?
Well, be sure to check out myshow notes, as I will give you a
link on how to subscribe.
So step number one we're goingto reflect on the past and we're
going to take five minutes here.
Title a journal page calledLessons from Last Year.
(22:22):
And then what I want you to dois write down what worked well
last year.
For example, I started a mealprepping plan and it saved me
time.
What didn't work?
Example I joined the gym butstopped going after February.
What made me feel mostfulfilled, for example, was it
spending quality time with mykids?
(22:43):
Then number two.
Step number two I want you toidentify a resolution and turn
it into a solution, and you wantto take about 10 minutes here.
Title a new page in yourjournal called my Solution for
Thrive in 25.
And think of one resolutionyou've had in the past.
For example, was it losingweight, saving money or being
(23:06):
more organized?
Now ask yourself what problemdoes this resolution solve in my
life?
For example, losing weightgives me more energy to play
with my kids.
And then I want you to thinkabout how can I make this
resolution a lifestyle solutioninstead of a one-time goal, for
example.
Solution instead of a one-timegoal.
(23:29):
For example, instead offocusing on weight loss, I'll
commit to taking a 15-minutewalk every evening with my kids.
Number three you're going tocreate a mini action plan and
you want to spend maybe justabout five minutes here.
On the same page, jot down onesmall, actionable step you can
take this week, for example,putting sneakers by the door to
remind yourself to take a walkafter dinner.
(23:50):
Remember, it's about keeping itsimple here.
Step four speak life into yourgoals and, again, just take five
minutes.
This is five minutes of yourtime and on a new page in your
journal, right at the top, wordsof life for my solution.
Then write down a positiveaffirmation, declaration or
prayer to encourage yourself.
(24:10):
For example, it could saysomething like I'm capable of
making small changes that leadto big results.
Or God guide me as I makechoices that bring joy and
balance to my life.
Step five track your progress,and this is going to be ongoing,
so you're going to want tocreate a section in your journal
for the wins of the week andthat's what you want to title it
(24:32):
Each week.
Get excited and write down onesuccess, no matter how small,
related to your solution.
It could be.
I don't know, I walked threetimes this week.
So, as I close, I'm going to askyou, ladies, can we make a new
year, single solution this year?
Let's make this year the yearthat we stop starting and
(24:52):
stopping resolutions and insteadfocus on solutions that truly
transform our lives, small stepsthat lead into big changes.
And remember we've got this.
Remember it's not aboutperfection.
It's about showing up foryourself and your family, and
here's some ways that you coulddo that right now, and I've
(25:14):
included the links and what I'mcalling the tool chest in our
show notes.
You can join our private it's aSingle Mom Thing Facebook group
where I will share weeklyMonday Mindsets and Thursday
Think Through it posts to keepyou inspired and grounded.
If you live in the Tampa Bayarea, you can check out our it's
a Single Mom Thing class thatmeets the second and fourth
(25:36):
Tuesday of each month.
Visit shepherdsvillagecomforward slash classes to view
our year-long class schedule andto see the road to success that
we are paving for you.
Never miss an episode.
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts,iheartradio or Spotify, and if
you love this podcast, pleaseleave a review on Apple Podcasts
(25:58):
.
It certainly helps us reachmore single moms just like you.
And don't forget to check outthe Pause app, a quick and
powerful way to take aone-minute guided pause with God
.
It's an incredible tool to helpyou build your spiritual
stillness muscle and find peacein your day.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
(26:18):
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
(26:40):
notes.
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