July 14, 2025 • 19 mins
In this raw and revealing episode of It’s A Single Mom Thing, host Sherry kicks off a powerful new series: Looking Through Their Eyes: Parenting with Perspective.
Sis, before you react to your child’s behavior—what if you paused and asked: “Is this really about them… or is it a reflection of me?”
In Part 1: Slow Down, Mama: Seeing Yourself, Hearing Them, and Healing Together, Sherry gets honest about the triggers, the yelling, the "perfect mom" pressure, and the emotional baggage we sometimes pass on without even knowing it.
You’ll learn:
Why your child’s behavior might be mirroring your own
How to be present (not perfect)
What your reactions reveal—and how to shift them
How to begin healing so your child can too
PLUS: A journaling challenge, a soul-soothing prayer, and a reminder that it’s never too late to change the reflection in your parenting mirror.
💗 Need prayer or support? Don’t go through it alone—reach out through our prayer line (details in show notes).
🎧 It’s a single mom thing—and not the single thing that stops you.
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sheri, your host, and Iam happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hey, hey, hey girls, Welcome to another episode of
it's a Single Mom Thing, thepodcast for women doing it all
but learning they don't have todo it all alone.
So quick heads up.
Just in case you haven'tnoticed before we dive in, I'm
sounding a little sniffy todaySniffy, sniffles, whatever.
So apologies in advance if Istart sounding like a cartoon
(00:39):
elephant, let's blame it on.
Either I don't know the pollen,or maybe it's just the single
mom hustle catching up to me.
But never fear sniffles and all.
Your girl, sherry, is here, mommentor and your favorite
straight talker, with a softspot for second chances.
And if you already know thedeal, well, you do.
(01:00):
It's a single mom thing and notthe single thing that stops you
, sniffles included.
So today we're kicking off abrand new series that's really
close to my heart, calledLooking Through their Eyes
Parenting with Perspective andbaby.
We're going in Title of today'sepisode in our first part of
the series is called Slow Down,mama, seeing Yourself, hearing
(01:23):
them and Healing Together,because sometimes, before we can
fix what's happening with ourkids, we've got to get real
about what's happening in us.
We're talking about the mirrormoments, you know, when your
child is reflecting somethingback at you, and it's not always
pretty.
We'll dig into how we show up,how we listen or don't, and why
(01:47):
staying busy chasingdistractions or even rushing
into the next relationship mightactually be leaving our babies
emotionally bankrupt.
This ain't about guilt, though.
You know I ain't about thattrip, but it is about growth.
So go ahead, grab your coffee Igot mine, journal and don't
(02:08):
forget to take a moment to justbreathe, sis.
So let's get into this.
The mirror moment, seeingyourself in your child.
All right, ladies.
So let's talk about the mirror.
So listen, I don't mean the onein your bathroom that you
barely get time to look into.
No, I'm talking about thelittle mirror.
Yeah, the one that's walkingaround your house calling you
(02:31):
mommy.
You see, our kids have thiswild ability to reflect what's
really going on inside of us,even when we think we're holding
it all together.
Ever snapped at your child forbeing too emotional when you've
been stuffing yours for weeks?
Or maybe, just maybe they'vebeen super anxious or extra
(02:53):
clingy or lashing out for nogood reason, and then you
realize, oh shoot, that's howI've been feeling too that my
ladies is what I call the mirrormoment.
You see your reflections.
So listen, they don't needperfect, they need present.
But here's the thing Presencerequires well awareness and
(03:16):
listen.
And if you're running on fumes,stuck in survival mode or
avoiding your own healing, youmight be missing what your child
is really showing you.
So let me say it with a littlelove and some sniffles and a
little snap to it Sometimes thebehavior we want to correct in
our kids is the wound we need toaddress in ourselves.
(03:40):
I know that one slings andstings a little, but this is not
about shame, okay, so let'sbuild a bridge and get over that
.
It's about the shift.
You see, the goal isn't to feelguilty.
Actually, it's to get a littlecurious.
Curious about what?
Well, ask yourself, what partof me is my child mirroring
(04:03):
right now?
Is it fear?
Is it frustration?
Is it the hustle that youhaven't paused since the breakup
?
Because, ladies, listen, yourchild might not know the words
for what they're feeling, butthey sure know how to show it.
I mean, look if you've got oneof them in a timeout right now
for an outburst.
Sis, I see you.
(04:24):
So you need to stay tunedbecause we are all in this
together the power of presence,not performance.
All right, ladies, now thatwe've seen how our children can
be a mirror to what's going oninside of us.
Let's talk about how we show upfor them.
So here's a question for you.
(04:46):
Okay, I want you to think aboutthis for a moment.
Are you trying to be theperfect mom or the present mom?
Because, listen, perfectionit's exhausting and, honey, your
kids don't need a Pinterestworthy mom or a flawless routine
.
Now, yes, I have said thatbefore in other podcasts and
I'll say it again, because italways bears repeating, you see,
(05:09):
because what they really needis you fully there, fully
present, even if you're runningon three hours of sleep and
prayer and sniffles.
Now, if I'm honest okay, listen,your girl Sherry, I am not
always present.
I have many what I like to callsquirrel moments, and here's
how I know when I'm not present.
(05:29):
One, if I find myself walkingfast just to get to the next
thing on my to-do list.
Two, if I'm staring off intospace.
Three, if I'm slouching in mychair, as my teacher in school
used to say get off your spine.
You're sitting on your spine.
Or let's say, I have five tabsopen on my computer, or maybe
(05:50):
I'm even thinking about what Ihave to do next.
Well, here's another one.
Have you ever done this For me?
I'll be in a conversation withsomeone, but I'm thinking more
about my reply than whatactually the other person is
saying.
Does any of that sound familiarto y'all?
You see, I'm telling you, mama,that, listen, if you do this
too, can't you see that you arein some good company here?
(06:12):
But here's the thing.
You can't you see that you arein some good company here, but
here's the thing I'm talkingabout those moments when you
drop the phone.
This is what I want you tothink about.
I want you to drop the phone,silence the notifications and
actually listen, but listen notto just hear their words, but to
actually hear them.
You see, your child might sayI'm fine, but, girl, you know
(06:35):
that their body language, theirlittle size or the way they
cling to you might say somethingelse entirely different.
Hmm, gee, do you ever do that?
I mean, I don't know where theyget it from.
Seriously, I get it because youlisten.
So much of parenting as a singlemom is about juggling.
(06:57):
It's a full-time circussometimes, and sometimes you're
the ring master and the clownall at once.
But if you're so busyperforming the perfect act for
everyone else, well, girl, youare going to miss the real show,
the real needs of your kids.
So here's my challenge for you,right here, straight up in the
middle of the podcast Put downthe shoulds and pick up your
(07:21):
presents Presents, okay, listen,there are presents in the
present moment, when you'represent, because, the truth is,
your kids aren't looking for asuperhero.
That's what cartoons are for.
They're looking for a safeplace to just land, and that
safe place it's you, not yourschedule, not your job, not your
(07:46):
next relationship.
Okay, they want the you that'shere right now.
And here's the good news.
You know that their attentionspan can be as short as your
patience sometimes, andsometimes all they need from you
is a quick grab and go, whileother times they may need a
little more of you.
(08:07):
The snap out of it challenge.
All right, ladies, now thatwe're seeing the mirror and
owning our presence or our notso present moments, let's get
real with a snap out of itchallenge.
This one's not about judgment,though Okay, listen, I hope you
never feel that for me.
Nope, it's about owning what'sreally going on so you can start
(08:28):
shifting it for you and yourbabies.
So here's what I want you toask yourself and your babies.
So here's what I want you toask yourself when are you
reacting instead of responding?
Okay, so, maybe your kiddothrows a tantrum and you find
yourself yelling back orshutting down.
I get it, that's the easy thingto do.
Maybe your parents did it toyou too.
(08:48):
And let me tell you somethingvery important about all this
Yelling is often to me a clearsign you are not present.
You just want to take charge,make things, stop and move on.
I know, I know in that momentyou may be busy or overwhelmed
yourself no blame in this game,okay, and slowing down to
redirect their steps actuallymight feel impossible or like
(09:11):
the last thing that you have todo or have time to do.
So I get it.
But listen, here's what's funnyIf you take a minute and think
about the little you for amoment, that's the when you were
a kid moment.
That's where we're going backto the old school.
So I want to ask you what didyou do when your parents or
parent flew off the handle?
(09:32):
Did you tune them out, mockthem in your mind, yell back at
them, even cover your ears?
Did you even take themseriously?
Or were you just waiting forthat moment to pass so you could
get back to what you were doingand tell me this was the
yelling.
Was it even effective, or didit just make you want to yell
(09:54):
back too?
The yelling was it eveneffective, or did it just make
you want to yell back too?
You see, that's real talk,because listen, oftentimes I
have found that yelling onlyteaches our kids how to raise
their voices louder, not how tolisten or heal, but responding
hmm, now listen, that's where wecan get some work done.
That's a whole different vibe.
It's when you pause, take abreath and choose a calm way to
(10:17):
handle what's happening.
Honestly, you will be glad youdid.
Oddly enough, you may find thatnipping it in the butt sooner
than later actually saves youtime and possibly a headache too
.
So now let's talk about thosetriggers, because we all have
them.
You see, maybe it's your kid'sselfishness that gets under your
(10:37):
skin, or the way they avoidresponsibility.
Maybe they're always blamingsomeone else for their problems,
or that stubborn pouting thatjust won't quit.
So now pause for a second.
Do they see you doing this?
Do you catch yourself sometimesacting the same way, maybe
(11:01):
blaming, maybe avoiding, mayberetreating into a pity party?
You see, our kids are watchingus all the time.
They're learning how to be bywatching how we be.
So when you see those behaviorsdriving you nuts squirrel, it's
worth asking what part of thatis really a mirror of what's
(11:26):
inside me.
This isn't about blamingyourself okay, so that's not
where we're going but it isabout noticing and taking back
your power.
That's not where we're going,but it is about noticing and
taking back your power, becausewhen you start healing those
parts in you, you're going togive your kids permission to do
the same.
So finally, think about this.
What emotions in you arespilling over into your child's
(11:49):
heart and mind?
Is it fear, anxiety, anger,exhaustion?
And then ask yourself where arethose feely bleh?
What are those feelies?
Where are those feelings reallycoming from?
Is it because anotherrelationship didn't work out and
now your heart's in piecesagain, ooh, okay.
(12:10):
Or is it a financial shortfallrobbing you of peace and sleep?
Might be that Maybe you've beencarrying resentment.
That's a heavy load becauseboundaries with their father
keep getting crossed or, worse,they were never communicated in
the first place.
Oh, snap, or maybe, just maybe,it was just a bad day at work
(12:35):
and you're barely holding it alltogether.
Sis, listen, all of that isvalid.
You're human.
But just know, those emotionsdon't stay bottled up.
No, instead, they drip like aleaky faucet and sometimes they
flood.
And our kids?
Well, they feel it, even ifthey can't name that tomb.
(13:00):
And listen, if you're a solomama of a teen and you're
thinking, well, damage is done.
Hear me out, listen, it isnever too late.
Teens may not always say itWell, they're not going to say
what you want to hear, but theyare still watching, they're
still learning and they're stillwaiting for something solid to
model Snap.
(13:21):
And one of the most powerfulthings that you can show them
right now is how to own yourstuff.
Am I right?
So don't be afraid to look yourteen in the eye and say I'm
sorry, I didn't get that right.
I'm learning too.
You see that right there iskeeping it real.
(13:41):
That is a healing moment, thatis a new mirror, because when
you make it normal yes, normalto apologize, you teach your
child how to be human with somegrace.
That's a mirror habit worthreflecting.
So how to heal and deal withthe difficulties.
(14:02):
Journal, pray, shift Journal isin there, so I hope you have
yours handy.
So, ladies, I want to invite youto take a moment for yourself,
just five quiet minutes, maybeafter the kids are in bed,
before the chaos of your daybegins, or even during a quick
break when you can catch yourbreath.
Okay, and again you're going towant to grab your journal and
(14:24):
have a pen in hand, or even justa piece of paper.
And let's get real.
It is time to get real withyourself.
So I'm going to guide youthrough four powerful questions
to help you reflect on what'striggering you and your child
and what it might be revealingabout you.
Okay, so listen before we go on.
Feel free to pause the podcastafter each question, because
(14:46):
sometimes I know I can getrambling on and you lose track.
So if you have time to jot yourthoughts down, no rush, listen.
There's no rush to this.
This is your time.
So are you ready?
Okay?
So I want you to write down thefirst question, number one, okay
, and it is this what is onebehavior in my child that
(15:06):
triggers me and what might thatbe revealing about me?
Pause here to journal Now.
Feel free to come back as soonas you're done.
And when you're back, let'sthen dive into a little deeper
one with three more questions.
Okay, here's another one.
Where did I learn this behavioror feeling?
(15:26):
Was it from your own parent,teacher, a past relationship?
You see, because sometimes Ihave found that the roots, they
go way back and knowing where itcame from.
Well, that can help youunderstand it better.
Feel free to pause here tojournal.
Okay, here's another one.
How did or does this make youfeel?
(15:48):
Does it make you anxious, angry, sad or maybe even a little
numb?
You see, when we recognizethose feelings, we spot it, got
it.
We don't push them away.
They have something to teachyou.
Okay, pause, and then I'll beright here.
And then the next one is that apattern I want you to continue
(16:09):
for me and my children.
Ladies, this is your chance tochoose differently.
Healing means breaking cyclesand creating new, healthier ways
to respond.
Okay, sorry, I have one morequestion I forgot.
Okay, so the last question Ihave for you is can I extend
myself some grace right now?
(16:29):
Because, ladies, you're doingyour best, you're growing and
sometimes the most importantstep is just to be gentle with
yourself in the process.
So, remember, this isn't aboutperfection or judgment.
This is about honesty, andhonesty with yourself, and
healing will start from there.
And here's a little secret themore you are willing to look
(16:53):
inward with kindness and courage, honestly, the more space you
will create for your child toheal alongside you.
You see, you're not justchanging their world, you're
changing yours too.
So, before we go, I want to havea little reflection and prayer.
Now that you've taken this timeto be honest and real with
(17:13):
yourself, let's pause and invitesome peace and strength to fill
your heart.
Bow your heads and, if you'redriving, well, just Keep looking
at the road, but listen to meclearly.
Father God, I want to thank youfor this moment of quiet and
truth over my ladies andlisteners.
Thank you for revealing what'shidden beneath their service,
(17:34):
both in them and in theirchildren.
Help them to accept themselveswith grace, even in the messy
parts.
Give them patience when they'retriggered, courage when they
need to respond with loveinstead of reaction and wisdom
to break old patterns.
May their healing become a pathfor their child's or children's
healing.
Teach them to be present, tolisten deeply and to love fully,
(17:56):
even when it's hard.
Lord, I know that they willtrust you with the journey,
knowing that they don't have todo it alone.
In your name, we pray Amen.
So, as I recap and close here,today we took a deep breath, an
honest look in the mirror, andwe saw how our kids well, they
reflect parts of us, how beingtruly present is better than
(18:18):
perfection and why our reactionsmatter more than we realize.
We've uncovered those triggersand emotions that spill over and
started even thinking about howto heal ourselves so we can
heal our kids.
Now, ladies, don't forget, takethese journal questions one at
a time.
Pause this episode when youneed and be gentle with yourself
(18:39):
as you reflect, and if you'refeeling like you need a little
extra support, listen.
Remember you're never alone andreach out to our prayer line at
855-822-PRAY.
We have a team of ladies andmentors ready to lift you up,
listen and pray with you throughthose tough moments, because
listen, my sister's healing andstrength well, it comes in
community and we've got yourback.
(19:00):
So come back next week for parttwo, called Looking Through
their Eyes, listening BeyondWords, how to Hear what your
child isn't saying.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sheri, your host, and Iam happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hey, hey, hey girls, Welcome to another episode of
it's a Single Mom Thing, thepodcast for women doing it all
but learning they don't have todo it all alone.
So quick heads up.
Just in case you haven'tnoticed before we dive in, I'm
sounding a little sniffy todaySniffy, sniffles, whatever.
So apologies in advance if Istart sounding like a cartoon
(00:39):
elephant, let's blame it on.
Either I don't know the pollen,or maybe it's just the single
mom hustle catching up to me.
But never fear sniffles and all.
Your girl, sherry, is here, mommentor and your favorite
straight talker, with a softspot for second chances.
And if you already know thedeal, well, you do.
(01:00):
It's a single mom thing and notthe single thing that stops you
, sniffles included.
So today we're kicking off abrand new series that's really
close to my heart, calledLooking Through their Eyes
Parenting with Perspective andbaby.
We're going in Title of today'sepisode in our first part of
the series is called Slow Down,mama, seeing Yourself, hearing
(01:23):
them and Healing Together,because sometimes, before we can
fix what's happening with ourkids, we've got to get real
about what's happening in us.
We're talking about the mirrormoments, you know, when your
child is reflecting somethingback at you, and it's not always
pretty.
We'll dig into how we show up,how we listen or don't, and why
(01:47):
staying busy chasingdistractions or even rushing
into the next relationship mightactually be leaving our babies
emotionally bankrupt.
This ain't about guilt, though.
You know I ain't about thattrip, but it is about growth.
So go ahead, grab your coffee Igot mine, journal and don't
(02:08):
forget to take a moment to justbreathe, sis.
So let's get into this.
The mirror moment, seeingyourself in your child.
All right, ladies.
So let's talk about the mirror.
So listen, I don't mean the onein your bathroom that you
barely get time to look into.
No, I'm talking about thelittle mirror.
Yeah, the one that's walkingaround your house calling you
(02:31):
mommy.
You see, our kids have thiswild ability to reflect what's
really going on inside of us,even when we think we're holding
it all together.
Ever snapped at your child forbeing too emotional when you've
been stuffing yours for weeks?
Or maybe, just maybe they'vebeen super anxious or extra
(02:53):
clingy or lashing out for nogood reason, and then you
realize, oh shoot, that's howI've been feeling too that my
ladies is what I call the mirrormoment.
You see your reflections.
So listen, they don't needperfect, they need present.
But here's the thing Presencerequires well awareness and
(03:16):
listen.
And if you're running on fumes,stuck in survival mode or
avoiding your own healing, youmight be missing what your child
is really showing you.
So let me say it with a littlelove and some sniffles and a
little snap to it Sometimes thebehavior we want to correct in
our kids is the wound we need toaddress in ourselves.
(03:40):
I know that one slings andstings a little, but this is not
about shame, okay, so let'sbuild a bridge and get over that
.
It's about the shift.
You see, the goal isn't to feelguilty.
Actually, it's to get a littlecurious.
Curious about what?
Well, ask yourself, what partof me is my child mirroring
(04:03):
right now?
Is it fear?
Is it frustration?
Is it the hustle that youhaven't paused since the breakup
?
Because, ladies, listen, yourchild might not know the words
for what they're feeling, butthey sure know how to show it.
I mean, look if you've got oneof them in a timeout right now
for an outburst.
Sis, I see you.
(04:24):
So you need to stay tunedbecause we are all in this
together the power of presence,not performance.
All right, ladies, now thatwe've seen how our children can
be a mirror to what's going oninside of us.
Let's talk about how we show upfor them.
So here's a question for you.
(04:46):
Okay, I want you to think aboutthis for a moment.
Are you trying to be theperfect mom or the present mom?
Because, listen, perfectionit's exhausting and, honey, your
kids don't need a Pinterestworthy mom or a flawless routine
.
Now, yes, I have said thatbefore in other podcasts and
I'll say it again, because italways bears repeating, you see,
(05:09):
because what they really needis you fully there, fully
present, even if you're runningon three hours of sleep and
prayer and sniffles.
Now, if I'm honest okay, listen,your girl Sherry, I am not
always present.
I have many what I like to callsquirrel moments, and here's
how I know when I'm not present.
(05:29):
One, if I find myself walkingfast just to get to the next
thing on my to-do list.
Two, if I'm staring off intospace.
Three, if I'm slouching in mychair, as my teacher in school
used to say get off your spine.
You're sitting on your spine.
Or let's say, I have five tabsopen on my computer, or maybe
(05:50):
I'm even thinking about what Ihave to do next.
Well, here's another one.
Have you ever done this For me?
I'll be in a conversation withsomeone, but I'm thinking more
about my reply than whatactually the other person is
saying.
Does any of that sound familiarto y'all?
You see, I'm telling you, mama,that, listen, if you do this
too, can't you see that you arein some good company here?
(06:12):
But here's the thing.
You can't you see that you arein some good company here, but
here's the thing I'm talkingabout those moments when you
drop the phone.
This is what I want you tothink about.
I want you to drop the phone,silence the notifications and
actually listen, but listen notto just hear their words, but to
actually hear them.
You see, your child might sayI'm fine, but, girl, you know
(06:35):
that their body language, theirlittle size or the way they
cling to you might say somethingelse entirely different.
Hmm, gee, do you ever do that?
I mean, I don't know where theyget it from.
Seriously, I get it because youlisten.
So much of parenting as a singlemom is about juggling.
(06:57):
It's a full-time circussometimes, and sometimes you're
the ring master and the clownall at once.
But if you're so busyperforming the perfect act for
everyone else, well, girl, youare going to miss the real show,
the real needs of your kids.
So here's my challenge for you,right here, straight up in the
middle of the podcast Put downthe shoulds and pick up your
(07:21):
presents Presents, okay, listen,there are presents in the
present moment, when you'represent, because, the truth is,
your kids aren't looking for asuperhero.
That's what cartoons are for.
They're looking for a safeplace to just land, and that
safe place it's you, not yourschedule, not your job, not your
(07:46):
next relationship.
Okay, they want the you that'shere right now.
And here's the good news.
You know that their attentionspan can be as short as your
patience sometimes, andsometimes all they need from you
is a quick grab and go, whileother times they may need a
little more of you.
(08:07):
The snap out of it challenge.
All right, ladies, now thatwe're seeing the mirror and
owning our presence or our notso present moments, let's get
real with a snap out of itchallenge.
This one's not about judgment,though Okay, listen, I hope you
never feel that for me.
Nope, it's about owning what'sreally going on so you can start
(08:28):
shifting it for you and yourbabies.
So here's what I want you toask yourself and your babies.
So here's what I want you toask yourself when are you
reacting instead of responding?
Okay, so, maybe your kiddothrows a tantrum and you find
yourself yelling back orshutting down.
I get it, that's the easy thingto do.
Maybe your parents did it toyou too.
(08:48):
And let me tell you somethingvery important about all this
Yelling is often to me a clearsign you are not present.
You just want to take charge,make things, stop and move on.
I know, I know in that momentyou may be busy or overwhelmed
yourself no blame in this game,okay, and slowing down to
redirect their steps actuallymight feel impossible or like
(09:11):
the last thing that you have todo or have time to do.
So I get it.
But listen, here's what's funnyIf you take a minute and think
about the little you for amoment, that's the when you were
a kid moment.
That's where we're going backto the old school.
So I want to ask you what didyou do when your parents or
parent flew off the handle?
(09:32):
Did you tune them out, mockthem in your mind, yell back at
them, even cover your ears?
Did you even take themseriously?
Or were you just waiting forthat moment to pass so you could
get back to what you were doingand tell me this was the
yelling.
Was it even effective, or didit just make you want to yell
(09:54):
back too?
The yelling was it eveneffective, or did it just make
you want to yell back too?
You see, that's real talk,because listen, oftentimes I
have found that yelling onlyteaches our kids how to raise
their voices louder, not how tolisten or heal, but responding
hmm, now listen, that's where wecan get some work done.
That's a whole different vibe.
It's when you pause, take abreath and choose a calm way to
(10:17):
handle what's happening.
Honestly, you will be glad youdid.
Oddly enough, you may find thatnipping it in the butt sooner
than later actually saves youtime and possibly a headache too
.
So now let's talk about thosetriggers, because we all have
them.
You see, maybe it's your kid'sselfishness that gets under your
(10:37):
skin, or the way they avoidresponsibility.
Maybe they're always blamingsomeone else for their problems,
or that stubborn pouting thatjust won't quit.
So now pause for a second.
Do they see you doing this?
Do you catch yourself sometimesacting the same way, maybe
(11:01):
blaming, maybe avoiding, mayberetreating into a pity party?
You see, our kids are watchingus all the time.
They're learning how to be bywatching how we be.
So when you see those behaviorsdriving you nuts squirrel, it's
worth asking what part of thatis really a mirror of what's
(11:26):
inside me.
This isn't about blamingyourself okay, so that's not
where we're going but it isabout noticing and taking back
your power.
That's not where we're going,but it is about noticing and
taking back your power, becausewhen you start healing those
parts in you, you're going togive your kids permission to do
the same.
So finally, think about this.
What emotions in you arespilling over into your child's
(11:49):
heart and mind?
Is it fear, anxiety, anger,exhaustion?
And then ask yourself where arethose feely bleh?
What are those feelies?
Where are those feelings reallycoming from?
Is it because anotherrelationship didn't work out and
now your heart's in piecesagain, ooh, okay.
(12:10):
Or is it a financial shortfallrobbing you of peace and sleep?
Might be that Maybe you've beencarrying resentment.
That's a heavy load becauseboundaries with their father
keep getting crossed or, worse,they were never communicated in
the first place.
Oh, snap, or maybe, just maybe,it was just a bad day at work
(12:35):
and you're barely holding it alltogether.
Sis, listen, all of that isvalid.
You're human.
But just know, those emotionsdon't stay bottled up.
No, instead, they drip like aleaky faucet and sometimes they
flood.
And our kids?
Well, they feel it, even ifthey can't name that tomb.
(13:00):
And listen, if you're a solomama of a teen and you're
thinking, well, damage is done.
Hear me out, listen, it isnever too late.
Teens may not always say itWell, they're not going to say
what you want to hear, but theyare still watching, they're
still learning and they're stillwaiting for something solid to
model Snap.
(13:21):
And one of the most powerfulthings that you can show them
right now is how to own yourstuff.
Am I right?
So don't be afraid to look yourteen in the eye and say I'm
sorry, I didn't get that right.
I'm learning too.
You see that right there iskeeping it real.
(13:41):
That is a healing moment, thatis a new mirror, because when
you make it normal yes, normalto apologize, you teach your
child how to be human with somegrace.
That's a mirror habit worthreflecting.
So how to heal and deal withthe difficulties.
(14:02):
Journal, pray, shift Journal isin there, so I hope you have
yours handy.
So, ladies, I want to invite youto take a moment for yourself,
just five quiet minutes, maybeafter the kids are in bed,
before the chaos of your daybegins, or even during a quick
break when you can catch yourbreath.
Okay, and again you're going towant to grab your journal and
(14:24):
have a pen in hand, or even justa piece of paper.
And let's get real.
It is time to get real withyourself.
So I'm going to guide youthrough four powerful questions
to help you reflect on what'striggering you and your child
and what it might be revealingabout you.
Okay, so listen before we go on.
Feel free to pause the podcastafter each question, because
(14:46):
sometimes I know I can getrambling on and you lose track.
So if you have time to jot yourthoughts down, no rush, listen.
There's no rush to this.
This is your time.
So are you ready?
Okay?
So I want you to write down thefirst question, number one, okay
, and it is this what is onebehavior in my child that
(15:06):
triggers me and what might thatbe revealing about me?
Pause here to journal Now.
Feel free to come back as soonas you're done.
And when you're back, let'sthen dive into a little deeper
one with three more questions.
Okay, here's another one.
Where did I learn this behavioror feeling?
(15:26):
Was it from your own parent,teacher, a past relationship?
You see, because sometimes Ihave found that the roots, they
go way back and knowing where itcame from.
Well, that can help youunderstand it better.
Feel free to pause here tojournal.
Okay, here's another one.
How did or does this make youfeel?
(15:48):
Does it make you anxious, angry, sad or maybe even a little
numb?
You see, when we recognizethose feelings, we spot it, got
it.
We don't push them away.
They have something to teachyou.
Okay, pause, and then I'll beright here.
And then the next one is that apattern I want you to continue
(16:09):
for me and my children.
Ladies, this is your chance tochoose differently.
Healing means breaking cyclesand creating new, healthier ways
to respond.
Okay, sorry, I have one morequestion I forgot.
Okay, so the last question Ihave for you is can I extend
myself some grace right now?
(16:29):
Because, ladies, you're doingyour best, you're growing and
sometimes the most importantstep is just to be gentle with
yourself in the process.
So, remember, this isn't aboutperfection or judgment.
This is about honesty, andhonesty with yourself, and
healing will start from there.
And here's a little secret themore you are willing to look
(16:53):
inward with kindness and courage, honestly, the more space you
will create for your child toheal alongside you.
You see, you're not justchanging their world, you're
changing yours too.
So, before we go, I want to havea little reflection and prayer.
Now that you've taken this timeto be honest and real with
(17:13):
yourself, let's pause and invitesome peace and strength to fill
your heart.
Bow your heads and, if you'redriving, well, just Keep looking
at the road, but listen to meclearly.
Father God, I want to thank youfor this moment of quiet and
truth over my ladies andlisteners.
Thank you for revealing what'shidden beneath their service,
(17:34):
both in them and in theirchildren.
Help them to accept themselveswith grace, even in the messy
parts.
Give them patience when they'retriggered, courage when they
need to respond with loveinstead of reaction and wisdom
to break old patterns.
May their healing become a pathfor their child's or children's
healing.
Teach them to be present, tolisten deeply and to love fully,
(17:56):
even when it's hard.
Lord, I know that they willtrust you with the journey,
knowing that they don't have todo it alone.
In your name, we pray Amen.
So, as I recap and close here,today we took a deep breath, an
honest look in the mirror, andwe saw how our kids well, they
reflect parts of us, how beingtruly present is better than
(18:18):
perfection and why our reactionsmatter more than we realize.
We've uncovered those triggersand emotions that spill over and
started even thinking about howto heal ourselves so we can
heal our kids.
Now, ladies, don't forget, takethese journal questions one at
a time.
Pause this episode when youneed and be gentle with yourself
(18:39):
as you reflect, and if you'refeeling like you need a little
extra support, listen.
Remember you're never alone andreach out to our prayer line at
855-822-PRAY.
We have a team of ladies andmentors ready to lift you up,
listen and pray with you throughthose tough moments, because
listen, my sister's healing andstrength well, it comes in
community and we've got yourback.
(19:00):
So come back next week for parttwo, called Looking Through
their Eyes, listening BeyondWords, how to Hear what your
child isn't saying.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.
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