Rewind Episode: "It’s All Relative When It Comes to the Relatives"

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🎄 Rewind Episode: "It’s All Relative When It Comes to the Relatives" 🎄

Ah, the holidays! A time for joy, togetherness, and… navigating the delightful dynamics of family gatherings. Whether it’s Uncle Joe’s unsolicited advice, Aunt Karen’s casserole critiques, or co-parenting complexities, the holidays can sometimes feel more like a battlefield than a feast. Sound familiar? 🙃

As we gear up to gather with friends, family, and e-v-e-n the extended crew, let’s chew on this:
“Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.” – Proverbs 17:1 (NLT) 🍞💨

The holidays are meant to be holy, harmonious, and full of love and laughter—but let’s face it, sometimes they come with a side of stress, a pinch of anxiety, and a dollop of drama. Whether you’re balancing relatives or co-parenting with an ex, setting healthy boundaries is the secret sauce to keeping your sanity and your peace. 🧘‍♀️✨

💡 In this episode, we’re rewinding to some timeless wisdom on:
👉 Keeping your perspective on point
👉 Maintaining harmony (even when the family group text is exploding)
👉 Setting boundaries that honor your well-being and your joy

So, grab your plate (even if it’s just dry crust—peace tastes better anyway), and tune in for tips to make your holidays lifted in love, laughter, and just enough grace to get through that second helping of awkward small talk. You’ve got this! 💪

🎧 Listen now and share with someone who could use a little extra peace on earth this holiday season.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
So as we get ready in thecoming weeks to gather with
friends, family and evenextended family, I want us to

(00:22):
feast on this.
Better a dry crust eaten inpeace than a house filled with
feasting and conflict.
Now I wish I could take creditfor this morsel of wisdom, but
the only credit I could take isfor finding it the other morning
when I was reading in Proverbs17.1 in the NLT, which
coincidentally pairs well with ablank podcast page I've had on

(00:46):
my laptop for several months now, called it's All Relative when
it Comes to the Relatives.
Welcome to another episode ofit's a Single Mom Thing.
I just love, love, love whenthe Lord puts a podcast topic on
my heart but doesn't give methe words to be spoken until his

(01:06):
timing has come to pass.
So, ladies and gents, thismessage has specifically been
prepared for us as we prepareour dinner tables, our hearts,
our gifts, our giving and ourtime this holiday season.
So if you are listening in theUnited States, you still may be
getting over the Thanksgivingleftovers and the hangovers from

(01:29):
time spent with, yes, yourfamily.
Now let me digress here.
Not the hangover that comesfrom glasses that runneth over,
but more your patience that gotrunneth over from time spent
with your relatives.
Same pain, but without thebottle, but it may have left you
bottled up.

(01:50):
The holiday and holy season is atime meant to be filled with
cheer, celebration, joy andtogetherness.
However, it can also be aperiod of stress, anxiety and
strained relationships,especially when managing family
dynamics that don't include yourimmediate family.

(02:11):
As the holidays approach, ourto-do lists grow longer, our
time and energy become shorterand our patience can wear thin,
like our hairline, whetherdealing with relatives or
co-parenting with an ex-partner.
Setting healthy boundaries iscrucial to ensuring that the
holidays remain holy, harmonious, lifted in love and laughter

(02:36):
and balanced emotionalwell-being for all beings
involved.
So, having said that, howexactly do we do that, you may
ask?
You haven't had a seat at myturbulent and tumultuous turkey
table.
Now have you For me?
This is my advice to you.
I like to keep my perspectiveon point when it comes to the

(02:57):
holidays, and that is, it is allrelative when it comes to the
relatives Managing expectationswith boundaries.
So let me start with this secondpiece of advice that I have
learned over the years,particularly when it comes to
the other family boundaries.
You see, boundaries play apivotal role in maintaining

(03:20):
peace and balance during theholidays.
So listen, as a solo, you donot want to be outnumbered by
the number of people in a roomor in your kids holiday plans
that may have plans of their ownfor how you or they spend it.
Boundaries are a healthy andhelpful way of creating a

(03:40):
harmonious holiday experiencewhile keeping it holy.
Now, trust me, this is not oneof those times when it's better
to have let some things unsaid.
You want to speak your peace,to keep the peace and a silent
night.
What's so awesome aboutboundaries, I have learned, is
that they help manageexpectations, time and emotions,

(04:04):
and they should be communicatedto both the other parent as
well as your children inage-appropriate manners.
So here are just six thingsthat I have come up with for you
to consider in implementingthem.
One the handoff.
Agree on where, when and whattimes for holiday gatherings and

(04:27):
celebrations.
Clearly define the schedule toprevent misunderstandings and
ensure a smooth transitionbetween parents or family
members and or new partners whomay be joining in the reindeer
games this holiday season.
Gift giving.
This boundary will be a giftthat keeps on giving through the
years.
If you present it now, it mayseem trivial, but it is

(04:51):
important to discuss how mucheach parent will spend on gifts
for the children.
Yes, girl, yes, you see.
A set budget is especiallyimportant if there is a
significant income disparitybetween co-parents, ensuring
fairness and preventingcompetition, especially in this

(05:11):
inflationary economy.
Access to children Determineahead of time who can be around
your children during theholidays.
Protect them from unsafe, toxicor emotionally triggering
individuals.
Your children's physical andemotional well-being should
always come first, even overyour own Bedtime.

(05:35):
Although it may seem petty,helping your children get
adequate sleep is crucial fortheir emotional stability, even
during the holidays, when schoolis out.
You know your kids and you knowhow much sleep they need to be
successful.
But maybe the other parent orthe relatives don't.
Don't be quiet on the amount ofquiet time your kids need.

(05:58):
Screen time.
Set agreed upon limits onscreen time, especially as kids
who may move between two or morehomes during the holiday.
Screen time limits helpmaintain consistency and online
safety.
Now don't assume that everyonewill screen what your little see
, so it's great to share withothers maybe some of the filters

(06:20):
, parental controls, apps orrestrictions you have found that
have protected what thoselittle eyes see and hear.
You see, we want to keep sugarplums dancing in their head and
not somebody else.
Lastly, number sixcommunication.
If one parent spends more timewith the other child or children

(06:41):
during the holidays, establisha predetermined daily time for
the other parent and children toconnect via text, facetime,
phone or video calls.
This is great, especially ifyour kids are going to go out of
town for the holidays with theother parent.
Having a dedicated time allowsyour kids to enjoy the best of

(07:01):
both worlds while they are worldtravelers Communicating
boundaries.
So now that we have discussedhow to manage the expectations
using boundaries, we now mustdiscuss the key to effective
boundary setting throughcommunication.
Now, ideally, co-parents shouldalready have a parenting plan

(07:21):
that outlines these boundaries.
Additionally, regularco-parenting meetings can be
arranged to discuss children'sschedules, life details,
discipline, approaches andfinances related to the
children's needs.
However, if the co-parentingrelationship is strained,
several parenting apps cansimplify communication and

(07:43):
planning.
If you don't have a parentingplan in place, then gift
yourself this holiday season byputting one together.
So what if boundaries are broken?
What happens when yourboundaries aren't respected?
This is new and chances arethis is going to happen until it
becomes a habit.
So it is essential to addressit constructively, and the

(08:08):
sooner the better.
You wanna first acknowledge it.
Recognize the broken boundarywith love and truth.
Ignoring broken boundarieslisten, girl is only going to
enable bad behavior.
Number two effectivecommunication.
Approach the issue to improvethe relationship, not prove
yourself right.
Choose a suitable time for aproductive conversation, ideally

(08:32):
when both parties are calm andthe children are away.
Number three we're going forprogress, not perfection.
Understand that you can'tchange another person.
Focus rather on making progressin the relationship rather than
seeking perfection.
Overcoming guilt Settingboundaries can sometimes trigger

(08:56):
guilt, but it's important toremember that limits set in love
protect and promote healthyrelationships.
They provide a safe place foreveryone to go and grow.
Guilt is more, I don't know,likely to arise when boundaries
aren't set, potentially thenleading to dysfunction.
Instead, this holiday, let'skeep the fun in our functions.

(09:20):
So embrace those boundaries, asthey will foster strength, more
loving relationships that will,I promise you, gift you beyond
this holiday season.
So, as I close, let's rememberthe motive is love and respect
Healthy family boundaries duringthe holidays are not about

(09:42):
control, but about fosteringlove, respect and emotional
well-being for everyone involved.
As the holiday seasonapproaches, take the time to
discuss now and establishhealthy boundaries with your
co-parent, your loved ones, evenif that's immediate and or

(10:03):
extended family.
Doing so, I promise, you willcreate the foundation for a
joyful, harmonious and a holyholiday season for you and your
family, as is all relative whenit comes to the relatives.
As you enter this holiday seasonas a solo, whether this is your

(10:23):
first holiday alone with yourchildren or you've done this
multiple times take it from methis season can be challenging.
Let God meet you in each moment, starting now, and let us meet
you in your need via prayer bycalling us at 855-822-PRAY.
No matter the day, even if it'sa holiday, we are here for you.

(10:47):
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Thanks for listening to it's asingle mom thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.

(11:07):
Backslash prayer for moreinformation and resources.
Check out our show notes.