December 2, 2024 • 12 mins
The holidays are here, and so is the pressure to make them magical! But single moms, let’s keep it real—Santa doesn’t pay child support, and the holiday magic doesn’t need to max out your wallet or your sanity.
In this episode, Sherry takes a humorous yet heartfelt look at the financial pressures of the season, sharing practical tips to create meaningful memories without going broke. From setting boundaries on gift-giving expectations (and handling those who don’t honor them) to keeping your focus on the greatest gift of all—Jesus—this episode is packed with wisdom, laughter, and a whole lot of love.
🎄 Highlights include:
✨ Fun, budget-friendly ideas for building holiday traditions
✨ How to gracefully handle over-the-top gift-givers
✨ A reminder that Jesus is the reason for the season—and He’s got your back in every season
Tune in for a mix of sass, encouragement, and hope that will leave you feeling uplifted, inspired, and ready to rock your crown this Christmas—tilts and all.
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
All right, my single peeps, let's have a little chat
about the holidays that are here, and so is the pressure to
deliver a picture-perfect seasonfor our kiddos.
And you know what?
As a single mama, I am here toremind you of, well, several
important truths.
But here's one Santa doesn'tpay your child support, heard.
(00:35):
Nope, not a dime, but I didn'thave to tell you that.
Just look at your checkingaccount balance.
But you know what I find worsethan a lump of coal in my
stocking?
That's that, this jolly guy.
Well, he gets all the creditwhile we're out here managing
budgets tighter than those elfleggings.
Sound familiar?
Well, stay tuned, because we'rediving into how to make this
(00:56):
holiday magical and miraculouswithout maxing out your credit
cards or your sanity.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's a Single Mom Thing the
holiday hang-up.
All right, so let's dive intowhat I like to call the holiday
hang-up that gets some singlepeeps hung up like a strand of
(01:16):
knotted Christmas lights thistime of year.
You know what I'm talking aboutthat pressure to make the
holidays bigger and brighterthan our budget, and it happens
every single year.
It's like the moment thecalendar flips to December.
Well, november.
These days, we're suddenlyexpected to turn into Martha
(01:38):
Stewart with a Beyonce-levelenergy and Elon Musk's bank
account.
Well, here's a spoiler alert.
We're not, and well, we don'tneed to be.
Here's bank account Well,here's a spoiler alert.
We're not, and well, we don'tneed to be.
Here's another truth, mama,listen.
The holidays, they weren'tmeant to be a competition or a
stress test for your sanity, butsomehow, isn't it funny?
(01:58):
Society has convinced us that,unless we're buying the biggest
gifts or recreating hallmarkmovie moments or somehow falling
short, and for single mama woof, that pressure hits even harder
than an ice snowball to theface.
Because, let's face it, we'realready doing the work of two
people, and now we're supposedto do it while wrapping gifts
(02:20):
and pretending we have it alland have it all together.
I don't think so.
The holiday hang up, it isn'tfor real.
But here's the good news.
We already have the good news,girl.
And his name is Jesus.
We know that girl, that he'sthe reason for the season, not
the gifts, the lights or thePinterest perfect decor.
(02:41):
Christmas isn't about how muchyou can give, and you know that,
but it's about celebrating howmuch was already given to us a
savior who came to bring hope,peace and joy.
So let's hang Santa's hat onthat one and let out the
pressure of our pressure cookerthat we are cooking ourselves in
(03:03):
.
You see, the season isn't aboutthe size of your tree or the
number of presents under it.
It's about the love you share,the laughter you create, the
present moments and the light ofJesus that should be filling
our homes.
You know that, girl.
And the best part, that kind ofjoy, oh that kind of joy,
(03:24):
doesn't come with a price tag.
It comes with a promise Makingmemories without breaking the
bank.
So, with our focus on the mainthing, we can flip the Christmas
light, switch to your holidayspending before it spends you.
So let's be real.
You know the holidays well.
They can feel like a financialmarathon with no finish line in
(03:46):
sight.
Between gifts, dinner, schoolevents and everything in between
, the to-do list grows fasterthan the Grinch's heart on
Christmas Day.
And when you're a single mom,ooh the weight of making it all
happen.
It can be a lot, but here's thething you don't have to go
broke to make it special.
Well now, your Discover carddoesn't want you to discover
(04:07):
that, but remember this.
Your kids they don't.
Card doesn't want you todiscover that, but remember this
, your kids.
They don't need a pile ofpresents to feel loved.
Honestly, what they'll rememberis the time spent together, not
the money spent that you don'thave.
It's about the giggles and thewiggles and the love and the
laughter and the traditions.
Trust me, that's worth way morethan anything you could wrap up
(04:29):
with a giant bow, and it'sinterest free.
So how can a parent createthose Pinterest worthy moments
without the price tag?
Let's get a little creativehere, ladies.
Here are a few ideas to sparksome holiday magic without
burning like a yuletide logthrough your wallet.
Number one DYI gifts and crafts.
(04:51):
Turn on some Christmas musicand grab some glitter and get
crafty with your kids.
Handmade gifts, whether it'spaper ornaments or pinch pottery
, ooh decorations they're notonly budget friendly but they
are also full of heart.
You know, I actually have allof the decorations my son made
over the years and I hang themall on what I like to call the
(05:11):
mini max tree.
It's a smaller scale, pre-litChristmas tree full of all the
ages and Christmas stages of myson that I put out every year,
and it is my favorite tree overthe big Douglas fir.
Traditions over transactionsthis is number two.
Start simple traditions likeChristmas PJs and pizza,
(05:33):
christmas movie night, car ridesand carols while driving around
to look at holiday lights orbaking cookies with their
besties.
These are the things your kidswill remember long after the
toys are forgotten and broken.
Give the gift of experiencesNow.
Listen.
Instead of spending big buckson gifts, plan a special outing
(05:53):
or activity, something as simpleas picnic at the park or a game
night.
Listen, ladies, memories aregreater than material things.
Every time, in fact, it is atime-honored tradition in my
house.
Now that my boy is full-timeand employed, we have agreed to
spend time together overspending money on gifts.
(06:14):
We pick either a trip or anexperience we want to share
together and we book it, Settingboundaries with gift-giving
expectations.
Okay, so now it's time to talkabout those well-meaning but
sometimes overstepping relativesand co-parents.
You know, the ones who want tooutdo everyone else or load your
(06:35):
kids up with gifts that don'talign with your values or your
budget.
The ones who don't realize yeah, the Santa doesn't pay your
child support.
We need to wrap up thoseexpectations early.
So, one, we're going tocommunicate them.
It's okay to set boundariespolitely, by letting others know
what's helpful versus what'soverwhelming, maybe suggest a
(06:59):
gift limit or encourageexperiences over excess.
And here's another thing youcould do you can stay in your
lane.
Don't let anyone guilt you intofeeling like you're not doing
enough.
You are a woman of worth, as amom, and it's not measured by
how many presents are under thetree.
It's in the love you pour intoyour kids every single day.
(07:22):
So, with that, though, youmight be thinking to yourself
yeah, but what if the othergrandparents took what I
suggested and then they threw itout the window?
Okay, first of all, you need toslow your roll and listen to
this pro tip You're going tolearn to flip the script with
some gratitude and redirection.
Now, when someone rolls in witha gift that's way outside of
(07:45):
what you discussed, it's easy tofeel frustrated or undermined,
right.
But here's the deal Instead ofletting it steal your peace,
flip the script, thank themgraciously, because their heart
was probably in the right place,and then use the moment to
redirect the focus.
So, when someone doesn't honorthe gift giving boundaries you
(08:06):
set and shows up with a big,expensive gift anyway.
Well, yeah, it can feelfrustrating, but here's the key
Respond with grace, not guilt.
So you might say something likethank you so much, this was
incredibly thoughtful of you.
You see, I'm teaching the kidsto appreciate experiences and
(08:27):
the value of thoughtful, simplegifts, so this is a great
opportunity to talk aboutgratitude with them.
And then this showsappreciation while subtly
reinforcing your values, withoutcreating tension.
Then you can take it up a stepfurther have the kids send the
gift giver a handwritten thankyou card.
Not only is this a great lessonin gratitude for your kids, but
(08:50):
it also gives you the chance toinclude a gentle note of your
own, something like why thankyou so much for your generosity?
I'm trying to keep Christmassimple and focus on meaningful
moments, so next year I'd loveto stick to smaller gifts or
experiences.
So I truly appreciate yourunderstanding.
(09:12):
God bless you.
You see, this keeps the tonepositive while reinforcing the
boundary for the future.
You want to create the heart andhope of the holidays.
At the end of the day, you knowit, the holidays aren't about
keeping up with Santa, or anyoneelse for that matter.
They're about what we talkedabout earlier, celebrating love,
(09:32):
joy and togetherness.
Your kids will treasure thememories of the moments you
shared, not the price tag ontheir gifts.
So when you feel the pressurecreeping in, take a deep breath
and remind yourself.
Santa may not pay your childsupport, but you're the one who
brings the real magic to yourfamily and that, my friend, ooh,
(09:53):
that is priceless.
So, as we wrap up this episode,let's take a moment to reflect
on what the holidays are trulyabout, and I like to call them
the holy days.
They're not about maxing outyour credit cards or creating a
picture perfect scene straightout of the holiday commercial.
The real heart of the season,yeah, it is found in the love we
share, the joy we nurture andthe hope we hold on to, not just
(10:17):
during Christmas season, but inevery season of life.
And that hope it's found inJesus.
Christmas is a reminder thatwe've already been given the
greatest gift of all a Saviorwho stepped into our messy,
imperfect world to bring peace,joy and an everlasting love.
The decorations, the presents,the festivities yeah, they're
(10:38):
just extras.
The real reason we celebrate isthe light of Christ shining
brighter than any string ofholiday lights ever could.
So when the pressure of theseason starts to weigh heavy.
Girl, remember this the joy ofthe Lord is your strength, and
you find that in Nehemiah 8.10.
Let that joy guide you, comfortyou and fill your home with
(11:00):
peace.
The holidays, they may comewith their challenges, listen,
but the good news is is thatJesus brings hope, not just in
this season, but in every seasonof your life.
So how about we go ahead andmake a pack and let's focus on
what matters most?
Let's slow our roll and savorthe miraculous moments Reading a
Christmas story with your kids,laughing over hot cocoa printed
(11:23):
pajamas, or just taking a quietmoment to thank God for the
blessings in your life.
These are the moments thatmatter, the ones that remind us
of the heart and the hope of theholidays.
So, mama, as you go into theseason, hold on to that hope.
Let it guide you, lift you andremind you that you're never
alone.
Jesus is with you through everychallenge, every joy and every
(11:48):
imperfect moment.
The heart and hope of Christmasisn't found in what you can
give, but it is in what'salready been given to you.
Isn't found in what you cangive, but it is in what's
already been given to you.
Rest in that truth and let itfill your heart with peace and
joy.
And remember, queen, we know itisn't Santa who pays you the
child support Jesus does.
He's got your back, your frontand everything in between.
(12:09):
Until next week, keep thatcrown steady and your hopes high
.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
(12:40):
notes.
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
All right, my single peeps, let's have a little chat
about the holidays that are here, and so is the pressure to
deliver a picture-perfect seasonfor our kiddos.
And you know what?
As a single mama, I am here toremind you of, well, several
important truths.
But here's one Santa doesn'tpay your child support, heard.
(00:35):
Nope, not a dime, but I didn'thave to tell you that.
Just look at your checkingaccount balance.
But you know what I find worsethan a lump of coal in my
stocking?
That's that, this jolly guy.
Well, he gets all the creditwhile we're out here managing
budgets tighter than those elfleggings.
Sound familiar?
Well, stay tuned, because we'rediving into how to make this
(00:56):
holiday magical and miraculouswithout maxing out your credit
cards or your sanity.
Welcome back to another episodeof it's a Single Mom Thing the
holiday hang-up.
All right, so let's dive intowhat I like to call the holiday
hang-up that gets some singlepeeps hung up like a strand of
(01:16):
knotted Christmas lights thistime of year.
You know what I'm talking aboutthat pressure to make the
holidays bigger and brighterthan our budget, and it happens
every single year.
It's like the moment thecalendar flips to December.
Well, november.
These days, we're suddenlyexpected to turn into Martha
(01:38):
Stewart with a Beyonce-levelenergy and Elon Musk's bank
account.
Well, here's a spoiler alert.
We're not, and well, we don'tneed to be.
Here's bank account Well,here's a spoiler alert.
We're not, and well, we don'tneed to be.
Here's another truth, mama,listen.
The holidays, they weren'tmeant to be a competition or a
stress test for your sanity, butsomehow, isn't it funny?
(01:58):
Society has convinced us that,unless we're buying the biggest
gifts or recreating hallmarkmovie moments or somehow falling
short, and for single mama woof, that pressure hits even harder
than an ice snowball to theface.
Because, let's face it, we'realready doing the work of two
people, and now we're supposedto do it while wrapping gifts
(02:20):
and pretending we have it alland have it all together.
I don't think so.
The holiday hang up, it isn'tfor real.
But here's the good news.
We already have the good news,girl.
And his name is Jesus.
We know that girl, that he'sthe reason for the season, not
the gifts, the lights or thePinterest perfect decor.
(02:41):
Christmas isn't about how muchyou can give, and you know that,
but it's about celebrating howmuch was already given to us a
savior who came to bring hope,peace and joy.
So let's hang Santa's hat onthat one and let out the
pressure of our pressure cookerthat we are cooking ourselves in
(03:03):
.
You see, the season isn't aboutthe size of your tree or the
number of presents under it.
It's about the love you share,the laughter you create, the
present moments and the light ofJesus that should be filling
our homes.
You know that, girl.
And the best part, that kind ofjoy, oh that kind of joy,
(03:24):
doesn't come with a price tag.
It comes with a promise Makingmemories without breaking the
bank.
So, with our focus on the mainthing, we can flip the Christmas
light, switch to your holidayspending before it spends you.
So let's be real.
You know the holidays well.
They can feel like a financialmarathon with no finish line in
(03:46):
sight.
Between gifts, dinner, schoolevents and everything in between
, the to-do list grows fasterthan the Grinch's heart on
Christmas Day.
And when you're a single mom,ooh the weight of making it all
happen.
It can be a lot, but here's thething you don't have to go
broke to make it special.
Well now, your Discover carddoesn't want you to discover
(04:07):
that, but remember this.
Your kids they don't.
Card doesn't want you todiscover that, but remember this
, your kids.
They don't need a pile ofpresents to feel loved.
Honestly, what they'll rememberis the time spent together, not
the money spent that you don'thave.
It's about the giggles and thewiggles and the love and the
laughter and the traditions.
Trust me, that's worth way morethan anything you could wrap up
(04:29):
with a giant bow, and it'sinterest free.
So how can a parent createthose Pinterest worthy moments
without the price tag?
Let's get a little creativehere, ladies.
Here are a few ideas to sparksome holiday magic without
burning like a yuletide logthrough your wallet.
Number one DYI gifts and crafts.
(04:51):
Turn on some Christmas musicand grab some glitter and get
crafty with your kids.
Handmade gifts, whether it'spaper ornaments or pinch pottery
, ooh decorations they're notonly budget friendly but they
are also full of heart.
You know, I actually have allof the decorations my son made
over the years and I hang themall on what I like to call the
(05:11):
mini max tree.
It's a smaller scale, pre-litChristmas tree full of all the
ages and Christmas stages of myson that I put out every year,
and it is my favorite tree overthe big Douglas fir.
Traditions over transactionsthis is number two.
Start simple traditions likeChristmas PJs and pizza,
(05:33):
christmas movie night, car ridesand carols while driving around
to look at holiday lights orbaking cookies with their
besties.
These are the things your kidswill remember long after the
toys are forgotten and broken.
Give the gift of experiencesNow.
Listen.
Instead of spending big buckson gifts, plan a special outing
(05:53):
or activity, something as simpleas picnic at the park or a game
night.
Listen, ladies, memories aregreater than material things.
Every time, in fact, it is atime-honored tradition in my
house.
Now that my boy is full-timeand employed, we have agreed to
spend time together overspending money on gifts.
(06:14):
We pick either a trip or anexperience we want to share
together and we book it, Settingboundaries with gift-giving
expectations.
Okay, so now it's time to talkabout those well-meaning but
sometimes overstepping relativesand co-parents.
You know, the ones who want tooutdo everyone else or load your
(06:35):
kids up with gifts that don'talign with your values or your
budget.
The ones who don't realize yeah, the Santa doesn't pay your
child support.
We need to wrap up thoseexpectations early.
So, one, we're going tocommunicate them.
It's okay to set boundariespolitely, by letting others know
what's helpful versus what'soverwhelming, maybe suggest a
(06:59):
gift limit or encourageexperiences over excess.
And here's another thing youcould do you can stay in your
lane.
Don't let anyone guilt you intofeeling like you're not doing
enough.
You are a woman of worth, as amom, and it's not measured by
how many presents are under thetree.
It's in the love you pour intoyour kids every single day.
(07:22):
So, with that, though, youmight be thinking to yourself
yeah, but what if the othergrandparents took what I
suggested and then they threw itout the window?
Okay, first of all, you need toslow your roll and listen to
this pro tip You're going tolearn to flip the script with
some gratitude and redirection.
Now, when someone rolls in witha gift that's way outside of
(07:45):
what you discussed, it's easy tofeel frustrated or undermined,
right.
But here's the deal Instead ofletting it steal your peace,
flip the script, thank themgraciously, because their heart
was probably in the right place,and then use the moment to
redirect the focus.
So, when someone doesn't honorthe gift giving boundaries you
(08:06):
set and shows up with a big,expensive gift anyway.
Well, yeah, it can feelfrustrating, but here's the key
Respond with grace, not guilt.
So you might say something likethank you so much, this was
incredibly thoughtful of you.
You see, I'm teaching the kidsto appreciate experiences and
(08:27):
the value of thoughtful, simplegifts, so this is a great
opportunity to talk aboutgratitude with them.
And then this showsappreciation while subtly
reinforcing your values, withoutcreating tension.
Then you can take it up a stepfurther have the kids send the
gift giver a handwritten thankyou card.
Not only is this a great lessonin gratitude for your kids, but
(08:50):
it also gives you the chance toinclude a gentle note of your
own, something like why thankyou so much for your generosity?
I'm trying to keep Christmassimple and focus on meaningful
moments, so next year I'd loveto stick to smaller gifts or
experiences.
So I truly appreciate yourunderstanding.
(09:12):
God bless you.
You see, this keeps the tonepositive while reinforcing the
boundary for the future.
You want to create the heart andhope of the holidays.
At the end of the day, you knowit, the holidays aren't about
keeping up with Santa, or anyoneelse for that matter.
They're about what we talkedabout earlier, celebrating love,
(09:32):
joy and togetherness.
Your kids will treasure thememories of the moments you
shared, not the price tag ontheir gifts.
So when you feel the pressurecreeping in, take a deep breath
and remind yourself.
Santa may not pay your childsupport, but you're the one who
brings the real magic to yourfamily and that, my friend, ooh,
(09:53):
that is priceless.
So, as we wrap up this episode,let's take a moment to reflect
on what the holidays are trulyabout, and I like to call them
the holy days.
They're not about maxing outyour credit cards or creating a
picture perfect scene straightout of the holiday commercial.
The real heart of the season,yeah, it is found in the love we
share, the joy we nurture andthe hope we hold on to, not just
(10:17):
during Christmas season, but inevery season of life.
And that hope it's found inJesus.
Christmas is a reminder thatwe've already been given the
greatest gift of all a Saviorwho stepped into our messy,
imperfect world to bring peace,joy and an everlasting love.
The decorations, the presents,the festivities yeah, they're
(10:38):
just extras.
The real reason we celebrate isthe light of Christ shining
brighter than any string ofholiday lights ever could.
So when the pressure of theseason starts to weigh heavy.
Girl, remember this the joy ofthe Lord is your strength, and
you find that in Nehemiah 8.10.
Let that joy guide you, comfortyou and fill your home with
(11:00):
peace.
The holidays, they may comewith their challenges, listen,
but the good news is is thatJesus brings hope, not just in
this season, but in every seasonof your life.
So how about we go ahead andmake a pack and let's focus on
what matters most?
Let's slow our roll and savorthe miraculous moments Reading a
Christmas story with your kids,laughing over hot cocoa printed
(11:23):
pajamas, or just taking a quietmoment to thank God for the
blessings in your life.
These are the moments thatmatter, the ones that remind us
of the heart and the hope of theholidays.
So, mama, as you go into theseason, hold on to that hope.
Let it guide you, lift you andremind you that you're never
alone.
Jesus is with you through everychallenge, every joy and every
(11:48):
imperfect moment.
The heart and hope of Christmasisn't found in what you can
give, but it is in what'salready been given to you.
Isn't found in what you cangive, but it is in what's
already been given to you.
Rest in that truth and let itfill your heart with peace and
joy.
And remember, queen, we know itisn't Santa who pays you the
child support Jesus does.
He's got your back, your frontand everything in between.
(12:09):
Until next week, keep thatcrown steady and your hopes high
.
Have a wonderful week andremember it's a single mom thing
and not the single thing thatstops you.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Thanks for listening to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
(12:40):
notes.
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