Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to it's a
Single Mom Thing, the show for
single moms by single moms.
This is Sherri, your host, andI am happy you are here today.
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
So, hey, mamas,
welcome back to it's a Single
Mom Thing, where fierce faithmeets real life.
Now I know you've got a lot onyour plate, probably even more
than what's in your refrigerator, but today we're not talking
about what you're serving fordinner, oh no, we are talking
about who you're serving fromyour spirit and why.
(00:37):
It matters more than you thinkthis episode.
It is a big one because we'retackling something that's just
as important as the food you eator the sleep you don't get
enough of Serving others, oh yes, and since I'm not just talking
(01:01):
about draining yourself from aplace of overflow not obligation
can literally change your body,boost your mental health and
even fill your soul.
Now, who doesn't want some ofthat?
So here's what the research says.
Listen to this, check this out.
(01:21):
It says serving and giving toothers releases a feel good
chemical like oxytocin, boostsconnection, reduces stress,
lowers blood pressure and evenhelps you live longer.
Oh yes, even one Clevelandstudy said when it said it loud
volunteering helps decreaseanxiety, increases life
(01:45):
satisfaction and supports memoryand longevity.
So if you're thinking I don'thave time to serve, let me
reframe that for you you don'thave time not to Serving from
overflow.
Now, that is an extra, it'sessential, it's soul food and it
(02:07):
is also spiritual fuel.
And yes, we had so much funteaching this class that we
turned burnout into a buffet andgave fictional mom characters
like guilt, trip and gina andburnout be the stage and lopped
our way through some powerfultruth bombs.
(02:28):
So today, whether you'refolding clothes, running errands
or hiding in the pantry with agranola bar and get ready to
reset what's on your plate andreclaim what you're here to pour
out, let's serve with purpose,let's supercharge our spirit and
, most importantly, let's gowhat's really on your plate?
(02:50):
Let's talk plates, becauseyours it's not just holding
dinner I bet you didn't knowthis.
It's holding expectations,emotionsilts, responsibilities,
that never ending to-do list andmaybe a crusty juice box from
last week.
I know I see you no judgmentwhen we talk about serving
(03:15):
others.
Okay, this is what we'retalking about.
We've got to start with what'salready on your plate.
You can't serve with peace ifyou're living off of scraps.
You see, too often we'respooning on more and more and
more, thinking that it's a holyhustle.
I am so guilty of that.
But listen, mamas, when Godsays to serve well, he didn't
(03:40):
say to self-destruct.
He didn't say serve others andforget yourself.
No, on the contrary, he's a Godof order, not chaos, and let's
be honest, some of us are livingin full-blown cafeteria chaos.
I'm talking the kind of chaosthat is one scoop of mashed
potatoes away from a full-blownfood fight.
(04:02):
So, listen, you need to grabyour Thriving 25 journal and ask
yourself this okay, get it outand write this on the page
what's on my plate right nowthat's not feeding me?
What am I saying yes to?
That's draining me before Ieven get out the door.
So let me slow down a second,because we really need to digest
(04:25):
this thought before we moveforward.
Okay, think about this.
Just like you need protein,carbs and greens on your actual
plate, your spiritual plateneeds fuel too.
That might look like prayer, afive-minute reset or pouring
(04:45):
into someone who actually poursback.
Now there's a concept.
It's about putting thenourishing stuff back on your
plate and scraping off thespiritual junk food.
You're not supposed to be themain course on everyone else's
plate, okay?
Especially if you haven't evenfed yourself yet.
(05:08):
So let's get honest here.
What are you consuming?
That's consuming you the guilt,the shoulds, the noise.
This is where we start clearingour plate to make room for
peace, purpose and somesoul-filling service.
(05:30):
Now may I welcome you to thebuffet of burnout.
Now that you've taken a hardlook at what's on your plate,
let me welcome you to the buffetof burnout.
It's got everything guilt,overcommitment, mental
exhaustion and a side ofco-parenting chaos, with cold
(05:51):
fries and no ketchup.
Does that sound familiar?
You see, when I taught thislive in class, I introduced my
fabulous fictional friends.
These are mama personas whorepresent the real emotional
states we walk through Now.
You may laugh, but youdefinitely will relate.
So may I introduce you to myladies of the burnout buffet.
(06:18):
First off, I want to introducemy gal, busy buddy, brenda.
Let me talk to you about Brenda.
She is overscheduled, overcaffeinated and under rested.
She volunteers for everything,but can't remember the last time
she read a book that wasn't forhomework.
Help.
(06:38):
She read a book that wasn't forhomework.
Help.
Serving strategy for Brenda.
Brenda doesn't need a newproject.
No, no, no.
This girl.
Well, she needs a nap and a no.
Teaching her that margin isn'tlaziness.
On the contrary, it isleadership.
And then there is martyr Mindy.
(07:00):
Well, she believes she isn'tsacrificing, she isn't just
doing it right.
She is convinced beingmiserable makes her a better mom
.
Well, here's a serving strategyfor her.
So my girl Mindy she needs totrade martyrdom for modeling
healthy boundaries.
(07:21):
Service doesn't meanself-erasure.
Then there is guilt-tripping,gina.
She can't say no without afive-minute apology speech.
Probably know somebody likethat.
Instead, she signs up, shows upand shuts down emotionally.
So a proposed serving strategyfor her would look like I don't
(07:44):
know.
Gina needs to know that no is aholy word.
You can serve well when youdon't serve everything.
And then, of course, well, thisis going to tie into overload.
Olivia, this girl.
She works full time, raisesthree kids and still thinks she
should be doing more.
She's running on fumes and thefumes are fried.
So a serving strategy forOlivia goes like this she needs
(08:09):
to hear what you're doing isenough and you are enough.
My girl Olivia.
And next there's our girlnegative, nancy.
You know her.
She's mad at the world andcarrying a chip on both her
shoulders, but underneath thathurt is a world of exhaustion
and disappointment.
So a serving strategy for Nancyneeds compassion, not conflict.
(08:36):
So pour the girl someencouragement in her cup, but
protect your own peace.
And then let me introduce mygirl burnt out B.
She's emotionally fried fromteen drama, no sleep and no
support.
Every day feels like a firedrill with no exit plan.
Serving strategy B needspermission to rest before the
(08:58):
breakdown, not after.
And then finally we're going toclose with jobless Jenny.
Recently unemployed anddoubting her worth, she feels
disqualified from servingbecause she's not in a good
place.
A good serving strategy forJenny is that she needs
reminders that purpose isn'ttied to a paycheck.
(09:20):
She still has somethingpowerful to give.
Now here's the real deal.
You might recognize one ofthese moms, or you might even
recognize yourself.
I know I did Some days.
I was Brenda and Bea in thesame hour.
But here's the shift.
What if we stopped serving fromscraps and started serving from
(09:43):
strategy?
What if we paused to ask well,what fills my cup and who am I
called to pour into today?
Not because I should, butbecause I can.
So here's a little truth bombI'm going to drop on you.
You see, burnout doesn't makeyou holy, it makes you hidden.
(10:06):
And you weren't created todisappear in your service.
You were created to shine.
You glow, girl.
So why?
Serving from overflow fills youand it fills your body, mind
and your soul.
Let's set the record straight.
You see, serving others well,it isn't supposed to break you,
(10:29):
it's meant to build you, butonly when you serve from the
right source, and that'soverflow, not obligation.
And just in case you think thisis just some kind of spiritual
fluff, well, let me hit you withsome truth that's backed both
by scripture and some science.
Because, girl, you see, godwired your body to light up.
(10:50):
When you pour out with somepurpose, can you say glow up.
Now the science.
Okay, this is where we're goingto go first, and I'm going to
start with the NationalInstitutes of Health, which
found out that acts of serviceand generosity trigger the
brain's pleasure centers andboost oxytocin, a chemical that
(11:13):
increases trust, reduces stressand promotes heart health.
And then there's the ClevelandClinic, which revealed that
volunteering can actually getthis.
Check this, lower anxiety,reduce depression, increase
memory retention and evenprolong your life.
Let that sink in, so servingothers well, actually, it can
(11:38):
help you live well and longer.
So to me, I think that not onlyare you blessing someone else,
but then it blesses you inreturn.
So add that multivitamin toyour mix.
Now, scripturally, in 1 Peter4.10, it says each of you should
use whatever gift you havereceived to serve others as
(12:00):
faithful stewards of God's grace.
And then, in Acts 20, 35, itsays it's more blessed to give
than receive.
Now I wonder if that's whererandom acts of kindness came
from.
So here is some real talk.
You see, you were created witha gift girl, not to keep it
(12:22):
tucked under guilt or fear, butto give it away.
And every time you do everykind word, meal, shared, prayer,
lifted, ride given, toy donatedGod's power runs through you.
It's like plugging into thesource and lighting someone
(12:44):
else's darkness without dimmingyour own.
Now, that's a dimmer switch, inmy opinion, but here's the key
you can't give from empty.
You've got to feed your soulfirst because, listen, service
from overflow is strength.
Service from depletion, however, is a setup for burnout.
(13:06):
So maybe you can power up withthis thought Serving from
overflow well, it's worship, butserving from emptiness, well.
That, my girl, is a warning.
Everyone gets a different plate.
Stop comparing servings.
So let's go ahead and releasethis myth right now.
(13:26):
You don't have to serve likeher.
To be successful, you don'thave to be the PTA president,
the small group leader or theone that always says yes, friend
, to live out your calling.
Here's what you want to know,mama.
You see, god gave you a platedesigned for your portion, not
(13:48):
hers, not your sister's and notInstagram's.
Roman 12, 6 says this we havedifferent gifts according to the
grace given to each of us.
So, said differently, likeSherry would say, is that some
of y'all have china platter big,bold, beautiful and built to
carry a lot.
And well, some of you, you gota cute little dessert plate and
(14:11):
it's enough.
It's your dessert plate andwhen you use it with intention
and love, it's all holy.
You see, faithful serving.
It isn't flashy.
Just because your servicedoesn't make headlines doesn't
mean it doesn't make heavenstand up Washing dishes.
It counts.
Praying over your kids in thecar counts Texting a mom, friend
(14:35):
, encouragement, a major kingdomimpact and, well, major
girlfriend glow up.
So if you've been looking overyour shoulder at someone else's
portion and guilty, stop Eyesforward, plate up.
God's got something made justfor you, girl.
So listen, you don't need asilver platter to serve with
(14:58):
purpose, just a faith filledplate.
And when you fill that platewith God's word, your identity,
your peace and your passion,you'll serve from a plate and a
place that nourishes you and allthose around you.
So as I close, I have to ask asksis, what's on your plate, not
(15:22):
just your dinner plate, but yourdaily life plate.
And are you serving from aplace of overflow or are you
just scraping from the bottom ofthe cast iron skillet?
Maybe today's episode hit alittle too close to home.
Maybe you saw yourself in busybody, brenda, or guilt tripping
Gina.
Maybe you realized you've beenshowing up empty and wondering
(15:44):
why you're still so tired.
Let this be your reminder youare not selfish for refilling
your soul.
You are strategic when youserve from strength, not stress.
You show your kids what itmeans to live on purpose.
You light up the kingdom.
You model grace, grit andoverflow.
(16:06):
So you want to go deeper?
Here's how Well one you canjoin our private Facebook
community.
Come hang out with other singlemoms like you inside our it's a
Single Mom Thing Facebook group.
Share your journey, your prayerrequests and even your wins.
This week even post a pictureof what's on your plate
literally or figuratively, Idon't know.
You just do it and use thehashtag FullPlateFaith.
(16:30):
Number two come to a class.
Listen.
If you live in the Tampa Bayarea, you need to join me and my
friends, for it's a Single MomThing class and support group at
Starkey Road Baptist Church.
We meet the second and fourthTuesday of every month from 6 to
730.
There's a free meal and freechild care, real life tools and
definitely some sisterhood.
And let me tell you, we do fillup fast, so register right away
(16:55):
.
More info can be found atShepherdsvillagecom.
Forward slash classes.
Number three you thought Iforgot the journal, but no, I
did not.
So I am asking you to use yourThriving 25 journal to write
down one thing to take off yourplate, one thing that fills your
cup and one way you'll servesomeone else this week from a
(17:18):
place of peace and not pressure.
Number four need prayer.
Well, you don't have to walkthis alone.
Call our 24-hour prayer line at855-822-PRAY.
Someone is always there to liftyou up.
And number four and hey, don'tforget to subscribe.
Listen.
If today encouraged you, likeit did me, make sure you
(17:40):
subscribe on Apple Podcasts,spotify or iHeartRadio so you
never miss an episode.
And if this fills up your cup,you know what I'm going to ask
you to do.
I'm going to ask you to leave areview and share it with
another mama who needs thisreminder too.
So with that, I want to wishyou a wonderful week and I want
you to come back next week.
(18:00):
Remember it's a single momthing and not the single thing
that stops you.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Thanks for listening
to.
It's a Single Mom Thing.
I hope you enjoyed our timetogether.
If you have more questions onhow to have a relationship with
Jesus or need prayer, visit usat wwwshepherdsvillagecom.
Backslash prayer.
For more information andresources, check out our show
notes.