April 21, 2025 • 68 mins
Take a wild ride through the chaotic minds of John and Jay as they navigate everything from indie horror films to metal music breakdowns in this unfiltered exploration of pop culture's strangest corners.
The hosts kick off with an enthusiastic analysis of "Finley," a short horror film featuring a hilariously incompetent killer puppet who struggles to murder his victims until they threaten his beloved cat. "I wanted more of this," John declares, praising the puppet's emotional expressiveness while lamenting the short's brevity. Their mutual excitement for this hidden gem reveals their appreciation for unique, creative approaches to familiar horror tropes.
When the conversation shifts to music, prepare for an authentic listening party as the duo introduces each other to metal bands like Wage War and Dead by April. Their genuine reactions—complete with air drumming and spontaneous commentary on pitch harmonics and electronic elements—create an intimate experience that feels like discovering new music with friends. John's confession about screaming along to metal songs in the shower adds a relatable, humorous dimension to their musical exploration.
Television and film recommendations round out the episode, with particular enthusiasm for "AP Bio," starring Glenn Howerton as a disgraced Harvard professor teaching in Toledo. "Dude, the show is so good," John insists, highlighting the similarities between Howerton's character and his iconic role as Dennis Reynolds in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." This leads to a highlight reel of Dennis's most unhinged moments, including his famous Range Rover meltdown.
Subscribe now for weekly doses of unfiltered commentary, unexpected pop culture discoveries, and the kind of inappropriate humor that will have you laughing despite your better judgment. Every day with John and Jay is guaranteed to be anything but ordinary.
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'Beavis and Butt-head' Cover art created by Joe Crawford
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
It's every day with John and Jay.
Comedy Skits, random bullshit,tim and Jerry, it's not your day
(01:02):
, it's not my day.
This is our day and it's my day.
This is our day, and it's everyday with John and Jay.
You like racy shit, you likeproblems going on.
You like sexual misconduct?
You're in the right fuckingplace.
Listen up, you fucking freaks.
(01:22):
It is time to get the show onthe road.
We're ready to hit this episodeof it's every day with john and
jay.
Let's rock.
Hey, everybody, welcome toanother episode of it's Every
(01:43):
Day with Jon and Jay.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yeah, what's up, howdy ho.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It's not about back in the day, it's about your day
it's, your day it's every day.
Go ahead and tell me about itTell us about your day Tell
Speaker 3 (01:54):
us about your day.
Please call us at Klondike.
555-232-421.
867-5309.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
867-309, and we'll be here To talk about your
feelings.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Jenny will be Awaiting your call.
You know that was actually Areal number.
I heard about that.
It was actually like An actualand then, I think it At one
point it went to like Some sortof automated deal After a while.
I don't know if it's even Stilla working number, because I
think you gotta dial an areacode now, right yeah, yeah, you
do, you won.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, well, no, you got 419.
Remember when our numbers usedto be like 447?
Whatever, yeah I did thiseverywhere I think it was 6251,
was my or fuck?
I remember yours, but I don'tremember mine growing up my
parents it wasn't 8735 orsomething like that yeah it was
uh 939-8735.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Hey, oh yeah, like what oh?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
so if you'd like to prank john and um john's parents
, go ahead and uh call 939-8735yeah, I wasn't, I don't.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
They don't even really use their home area code
567 because they they prettymuch transition to cell phones
now.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, so your dad can watch porn.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
He'd fall asleep during it.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
He's like John, if you're going to hit on my wife,
I might as well look atnoughties Boy, don't you put?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Pornhub on.
Boy, don't you hit on my wifewhile I'm looking up noughties
Boy, that's my woman.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Dude, it's so hilarious, it's so fucked up man
, it is dude.
If my wife and dad weretogether and they lived in Ohio,
dude, I'd totally make fun ofthem.
I would say the same shit.
The only problem is, well, I'mnot going there, I'm going to
let that go.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Yeah.
Boy, take a dream and turn itto reality what the fuck is a
dream nightmare or whatever thefrom that uh burt wonderstode.
Oh my god, take your dreams andturn them into reality
nightmares.
What the fuck is a realitynightmare, dude?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
okay.
So I went home after our lastpodcast showed Sarah Finley as
well, yeah, okay.
So just to let everybody know,john and I watched Finley.
It was amazing, it washilarious.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I wanted, I was, I wanted more.
I wanted 90 minutes of that Ofjust him trying to fuck up.
And they, just after a while,they're just like oh man, it's
just fiddly, he's just trying tokill us again and it's like
he's running dude, he's likehe's putting rat poison in there
.
I love the ominous ending of itlike spoiler I, it just sucked
(04:37):
my.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
My biggest thing is I didn't I.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I wanted him to keep being a fault like being stupid
at it, right well, I, I thinkfor a, for a 90, I think,
because maybe why you felt thatway?
Because it was such it was only25 minutes short, like if there
was 90 minutes of of characterbuilding, of that, and I would
laugh my fucking ass off.
Just him, just he, never madeit, and then what would be funny
(05:02):
?
He does it by accident at theend yeah, accident, he does it
at the end.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
He tries to hang himself, but he's wood.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
well, they can do that during the movie you can do
that during the movie, wherehe's just so upset at himself
that he can't kill anybody.
He tries to kill himself, buthe can't do it because he's he
can't do anything right, he's afucking, he's a puppet.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So he's actually just hanging there like oh yeah, and
that's how you end the movie.
Like he gets so depressed, hegoes up to the attic and he
hangs himself and that's it.
But they go up there to checkon him and he's just fucking
smiling and he's just sittingthere swinging dude.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I love the concept.
I did like the idea of you knowhim, him actually figuring it
out because they.
It's not because he wasthreatening or because these
these dudes came in and wereharming they, it's because they
threatened a cat yeah, becausehe loved the cat.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So that to me was so funny yeah, he was smiling when
they were doing it yeah, hedidn't care what they were doing
, but Susan the gun at the cathe's like.
Oh fuck His smile went away.
Yeah, and you know what myquestion is.
My question is did he know howto kill people the whole time?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Maybe, that's.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
That's the only answer question.
It just didn't really clickwith me.
It was like did he understandhow to kill the whole time and
he just was fucking off withthese people?
Or was he learning?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
how to kill.
I think with a full-lengthfeature he could have a little
bit more trial and error untilhe does figure it out.
I think somebody needs to pickthat up, Because it went
straight from him fucking up tofiguring it out, which it was
only a 25-minute short.
It went straight from himfucking up to figuring it out
which I it was only a 25 minuteshort and I get it.
You know there's a lot of stuffin between there that obviously
(06:49):
needed to be set.
It was loaded, yeah, 25 yeah,there was a lot of shit going on
, so it was I basically what mytakeaway from that is that I
wanted more.
that's, that's all I could.
It's like I wanted more of thisand it's just, you see, there's
the genre of puppets and dollscoming to life and being murder,
(07:10):
you know being, you knowsupernatural murderers and shit
that's been done.
But this was done in such areally fun and creative and
funny way, to the point whereit's like, okay, chucky's been
done, but you know people areknow people like, okay, all you
gotta do is kick him, and theydid that.
It's like he's like it comesout.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I mean she just goes, boom, just kicks all the things
that people say in these movies, like it's a doll.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
How the fuck can you like let a doll overpower you
and it's just.
And then you know when, whenfinley tries to wrap the bag
around, he's just like hisfucking facial expressions.
Heley tries to wrap the bagaround, he's just like his
fucking facial expressions.
He's like.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
He's like Finley Are you done, yet, you done, yet.
He stops for a second and hekeeps going.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
He's like it was so well done and, as I said, that
just it's stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You can watch it on YouTube.
And it's Finley F-I-N-L-E-Y.
Yeah, it's stuff like.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
You can watch it on youtube and it's finley
f-i-n-l-e y, yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I love shit like I love if you're in ohio, it's not
the same as finley finley, ohio.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
This was what I thought you said the last time.
But yeah, check it out becauseit's so fucking well made and I
mean even for like a small indiefilm like this.
The special effects wereactually practical.
Now I could tell at parts theacting was shit the acting was
not great but, like to me, thestar of the show was the doll
and they did really wellcapturing like emotions from a
(08:31):
fucking inanimate, you knowcreature or from a fucking
puppet.
So yeah, I bought it, I boughtinto it and it was.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It was fantastic if they made a whole movie.
I would buy, buy it.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Oh 100%.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
So okay.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Need more of those.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yes, definitely.
So you were talking aboutbefore we started talking about
Dana Carvey.
Speaker 10 (08:53):
Oh yeah Doing.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Biden oh yeah.
I want to see this because Idon't know if I've ever seen it
that dude's had a fall fromgrace.
Dana Carvey fuck.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
He has a podcast now.
It's him and um uh, not robschneider him and him and ours
no, uh, one of the other slpeople.
Uh, joe, dirt guy oh, davidspade yeah, him and david spade
have they look the same.
Yeah, him and david spade havea podcast oh my god, this is
(09:27):
gonna be good.
Speaker 6 (09:39):
Come on, come on.
Hello everybody, thank you forthe press for joining us to
document this very importantpresidential transition meeting.
I'm being serious right now.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Who's Trump?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
dude, it's one of just the big people I'm eager to
sit down for a respectfulconversation.
Speaker 11 (09:56):
Yeah, get a load of me.
Instead of being rude and crazylike usual, it's one of those
debate people Just like thatmeme.
Can we put it?
Speaker 6 (10:06):
up side by side, and this is fine.
Speaker 11 (10:22):
It does look like that we love.
This is fine dog, all right.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
We're going to ask you reporters to leave so we can
meet alone and we're going totalk details.
That's right.
We're going to have just twoboomers here talking about nukes
.
We lost some.
We don gonna have just twoboomers here talking about nukes
.
We lost some, we don't knowwhere they are.
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Anyway, have a good day.
Thank you everyone.
You can scream your questionson the way out.
What's going to happen?
How scared should we be?
Should I move to Canada?
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Alright, now that we're alone, let's get to work.
We're gonna go over that lastfew months of the NATO briefings
.
How does that sound?
Speaker 11 (10:58):
Ugh, I forgot how boring president is.
Love running, hate being, and Ihate the White House.
So old, so dated, so many ofthe carpets are stinky and
sticky at the same time.
Sort of like being at a RegalCinemas.
Oh my God, for the next fouryears possibly longer, possibly
(11:22):
longer.
Speaker 6 (11:22):
Come on, let's be real man.
This place is great.
I have so many wonderfulmemories here, dr dill, hosting
foreign leaders, my dogattacking every single one.
I brought my party together somuch they teamed up and kicked
me out.
Wait a minute, maybe I hate ithere too.
Speaker 11 (11:41):
No, joke, no, joke, no.
It's awful, but I can't go backto Mar-a-Lago Joe because Elon
is there and he will not leave.
It's like what about Bob?
He's walking around in hisbathing suit showing me videos
of rockets and monkeys withcomputers in their heads.
This guy's cringe AF.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Donald, you're the president now.
You can't just say anything youdon't want to say.
You got to watch how you talk,because you got a lot of power
Power pop, pop daddy, p-daddy,p-daddy Riding on a pony.
Call him macaroni.
Speaker 11 (12:16):
Wow, what the hell was that?
Did you just do the weave?
Speaker 6 (12:22):
No, oh, come on, man, it's my own version of the
weave.
I call it the wander.
The wander or I go there or Icome back, guess what no.
Speaker 11 (12:35):
All right.
Well, thanks for your advice,but I already know how to do.
President, it's all aboutsurrounding yourself with the
best people, and I am veryfastly picking the most epic
cabinet of all time.
They're some of the mostdynamic, free-thinking,
animal-killing, sexuallycriminal, medically-dirty people
in the country.
Who are you thinking about?
Well, we've got Elon and MattGates.
(12:57):
That's an alien versus predator.
Speaker 7 (13:00):
We've got.
Speaker 11 (13:05):
We've got Kristi Noem and RFK Jr.
They're killing the dogs,they're killing the bears and
Melania will be working remotelyfrom divorce.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
I see what you're doing with these nominations.
You're picking a bunch of wackojackos to test how compliant
the Senate will be with yourpolicies.
Speaker 11 (13:23):
Yep, that's what I'm doing.
It's all part of a very smartplan that I definitely thought
of before.
You just said that.
Speaker 8 (13:30):
Mr President, it's not on your agenda, but Matt
Gaetz is here to see Mr Trump,all right.
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Oh man, that looks just like him.
Who's that?
Amy Poehler?
Hello.
Speaker 10 (13:45):
Mr Trump, thank you for having me.
Yeah, thank you for seeing me,and might I say giggity, giggity
.
Speaker 11 (13:53):
Giggity to you as well, Matt.
Speaker 10 (13:55):
I don't want to bother you, you.
I just wanted to thank you fornominating me for attorney
general, I'm gonna do a greatjob if anyone tries I don't know
who the fuck says sarah shermanwhat?
Speaker 6 (14:05):
I told my eyebrows freeze come on, you're serious
with this guy's guys, give methe ick, I know me too, but too,
but I think he's going to beterrific.
Speaker 10 (14:18):
Of course I had to resign from Congress because the
confirmation process comes atthe busiest time of year for me
the holidays Girls' volleyballseason.
You've got another jacked kinghere to see you RFK Jr Bobby.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Alec Baldwin is RFK Jr.
Bobby oh, Alec Baldwin is JFKJr.
He did Trump the last cycle 62degrees tomorrow, bro yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I don't mean to interrupt you.
I just wanted to tell you againI'm so honored to be the head
of the Health and human servicesDepartment of Americans needs
someone to teach them how to behealthy Someone like me, a 70
year old man with movie starlooks and a worm in his brain.
Speaker 11 (15:10):
Bobby, I love you.
I can't wait to see what you dowith this country in terms of
health and with regard tomeasles outbreak, I care deeply
about a woman's right to chooseto choose to give her child
polio.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
I just wish people would take my appointment more
seriously.
All right, I got to go.
I got a dead dolphin in my car.
I think I might saw it in halfand dump it in Central Park.
I'll let you know.
Hey, I'll let you know how itgoes.
Thanks for the job, man.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I wonder if this is before or after he accidentally
shot somebody on set.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
This is after the fact, yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Let's get serious for a second.
I've got to tell you something.
I know your campaign was allabout retribution, but think of
the opportunity you have to riseabove and reach across the
aisle and use your enormousforce of personality to better
the lives of all Americans.
Speaker 11 (16:02):
I think we'll be doing retribution, but that's
very interesting, you gottaremember this.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
You got off easy.
I think we both know if I wasin the race I would have beat
you like a drum.
Speaker 11 (16:12):
Joe, that's one of the craziest things I've ever
heard anyone say, and for thatreason I'd like to offer you a
position in my cabinet.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
No, can do jack.
Need to make uh take a littletime off from this place.
What do you think you'll donext, joe?
Will you retire?
I'll do whatever worn down oldguy does.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I'm gonna fight jack, paul dude and then, uh, I think
uh, mike myers does elon muskand that was fucking funny too.
That's crazy dude.
It's like they.
Finally, I'm glad they'rebringing like old sl people back
to do I kind of do these rolesso dude, okay, so stick on
(16:55):
YouTube.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I've been on a wage war kick, like I was telling you
the other night Check out DeathRoll by Wage War, wage War.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Death.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Roll.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
oh my, that looks good, check this song out.
This is my favorite song fromthese guys.
Oh, that's fucking nasty.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
This is my favorite song from these guys.
Oh yeah, that's fucking nasty.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I love a good pitch harmonic man.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I gotta text Sarah and see what that band was
called.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
She was telling me the other night, terrified In
darkness.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yeah, yeah, dude, I like it.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Dude I love these guys.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
I'm a huge into them and I get to see them next month
.
Oh, that's sweet dude.
I like it good.
I love these guys, I'm a hugeinto them, and I get to see them
next month.
Oh that's sweet dude.
I saw some fucks Swallow youall.
Speaker 7 (18:15):
Drinking you down in a death roll.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Dude, that pitch harmonics is so good.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Dude, I can listen to bands put pitch harmonics in
their shit all day.
It's after the burial shit, Iknow right, I can listen to that
shit all day long man.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Get down from birth Underneath the dying sun.
There can be no future here.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I got another new band to check out too.
Oh, all right.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Is this another one of the $5?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
No, this one my wife found she was listening to it in
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I'm like holy shit, this is hard as fuck.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Yeah, like, who is that?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
oh god, that's nasty oh dude, is wage war not badass?
They're playing with fuckingstained and um and breaking
benjamin.
Really.
Yeah, you know I'm getting aWage War shirt, dude, it's gonna
fucking happen Such a great dayfor a band-aid too, I guess.
(19:21):
I saw him at Ink, I don'tremember.
Oh, really Like last year.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I can listen to that breakdown when we're done that's
so nasty.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yes, dude that's sick okay so the new, the next one,
is called and after that I mightcall my brother.
We'll see what he wants to talkon the fucking podcast.
Dead by April.
My Light is the name of thesong that she had, but I want to
see what their best song is, soit's called Dead by April.
I love Wage War, though that'sbeen my.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Dude, I like it.
That's a good metalcore.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
What I like, okay, I don't know if anybody else does
this, and I want to see tonyanswer me and let me know if you
.
If you do this too, I'll listento metal in the shower, I'll
listen to wage war and I'll putfucking screaming like being
like I won't be screaming in theshower but I'll be like no shit
, dude.
Um, okay, so I want to see whattheir top song is.
(20:38):
Um, okay, all right.
So, um, let me see, herethey're, they're number one here
.
I'm gonna see what song shesuggests, because this is the
one she was like.
My light is, uh, the song thatshe had me or that was listening
(20:58):
to, and I think it's got.
Obviously it's got some postpart, but, dude, the heavy parts
are hard as fuck.
I never heard these guys.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
She found them I like the guitar tone.
I do too.
Speaker 7 (21:43):
Dead by April.
All right, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
I like that shit.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Gotta be a big chorus .
Usually it's followed up withsome heavy shit.
I'm falling faster and faster.
My life is crazy.
I'm weak, I'm not supposed tobe.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be, I'm notsupposed to be.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
I'm not supposed to be Speaker 2.
Speaker 7 (22:54):
Yeah, sarah was listening to it in the bathroom
Like good who the fuck is this?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
She goes.
This is the one I was tellingyou about.
I was like who is it?
Yeah, I just texted her and shesent this to me.
Oh, come on Breakdown.
This is where I'd be in theshower.
(23:21):
Just started doing screamingshit behind it, dude, oh man.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
You never know about bands like this which way
they're going to go with this.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I know that's what's exciting.
It's like Christmas.
They went a little softer.
Yeah, I was kind of hoping itwould do that.
Speaker 7 (24:06):
Yeah, just start fucking going nuts.
I like that.
Fucking elements in the dark.
Can I find the way out?
Oh, this life is a maze.
I'm afraid of All right dude.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
So now look up Outcome, outcome, outcome is
their number one.
Oh, from this band, from thatband, dead by April, outcome is
their number one song.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
It's probably your Dead by April.
That looks awesome Outcome.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Saw the two dudes fucking facing each other like
Mortal Kombat shit dude.
Yeah, I love their techno feel.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Yeah, I love the little electronica elements in
the battle.
Love shit.
That band's used that now.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Oh, Tokyo Drifting.
Speaker 9 (25:12):
Look at what drifted.
Ha ha, ha, ha, ha ha.
Looks like Seamus.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I work out where I wanna be the pain I'm getting.
(25:38):
Looks like Seamus.
Speaker 7 (25:41):
Change my outcome.
Change my outcome.
Change my outcome.
Never question my decisionmaking, never doubt myself.
I'm a beast in the making.
I keep my feet on the ground,but I observe the changing.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
People say I used to be humble Behind the scenes.
Damn, I work till I crumble.
The sacrifice is real.
What you feel is not alwaysreal.
A room for emotional fear.
I'm a beast in the making.
Sacrifice is real.
What you feel is not alwaysreal.
You're all for emotional fear.
I'm out of here.
The bass line is fuckingawesome.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I was going to say that bass line is meaty, Meaty
as fuck.
It reminds me of like Breaking.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Benjamin.
Linkin Park Meets Linkin Park.
Yeah, I feel it too Like thesinging sounds like Chester and
the rapping.
If you wouldn't Dude, if youwould have just played this for
me, I would have said LinkinPark.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
It feels old but new at the same time.
With the electronica, yeah,this feels old, but it has a new
.
It feels new, if that makessense.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I would think it was Linkin Park, but I would
question it when they startedjust basically singing Right.
Oh okay, kind of like a kidquestions his heterosexuality,
yeah.
Speaker 10 (27:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (27:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, I love that.
By the way, wage War, does thata lot?
What blacks.
Speaker 9 (27:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Black yeah, dude I love it.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
They're well-placed, dude.
I saw a shirt on Amazon thatsaid black in the death core
lettering, but it was on apicture of like flowers and
cutie, black, black uh this onehas three million views I want
to check that one.
I just want to hear one morefrom these guys because I'm on
board.
Oh, that's breaking.
(27:56):
Benjamin 100%, right there,just a little harder.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I'm fucking Terminator.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah it's like Linkin Park meets Breaking Bad.
Would you let go?
Speaker 10 (28:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Dude, these guys are awesome.
Big big course, big bigchoruses.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
yeah, I like it see, when I listen to these guys in
the shower, I'd be fucking doingthat like screaming behind them
yeah, like, yeah, yeah, I lovethat.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
Yeah, with the cleat vocals, with this screaming
behind him.
Yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Yeah, with the Khalid vocals,with this little screaming
behind it.
Yeah, that's so cool.
I like it because it's like thewhole Fast and Furious crew.
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (29:22):
You got Johnny Tran rapping.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
That's the guy that didn't like Paul Walker Right.
Yeah you're 100% correct onthat.
You didn't even have your car Igive a thumbs up to these guys
yes, dude, dead by april is thename of the first song.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Well, first song was probably my favorite to be
honest, first song was myfavorite, the one that sarah
pointed out.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, that's good, what was that one called?
It was called my light orsomething like that.
Here I'll pull it back upbecause I got fucking uh sarah's
text message my light by deadby april.
By April was the first song,the second one was Outcoming and
this one was probably thesecond Break, my.
Fall was this one.
It's the most popular.
But yeah, the first band welistened to was Wage War and
(30:10):
it's called Death Roll.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Oh man those guys are awesome.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Dude, and no joke if you get into Wage War and start
listening to their shit.
They do a lot of those Blah,blah Dude.
I fucking love it Blah Becausethey're well-placed and they
have the echo on the end of them, dude.
Blah.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
So I see Babymetal because it's in my
recommendations, because Ilisten to them a lot, but I saw
that Babymetal's going to do areally yeah that's gonna be epic
you know, I'd like to see, I'dlike to see this dude right here
.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Bring this to life.
Yeah, baby metal.
Collab with harabi yeah, that'dbe badass and alex terrible
everybody dude and then you knowwhat, let's throw eskimo cowboy
yeah, why not?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
let's bring them back .
Yeah, let's do it.
That is a turducken ofawesomeness right there, but we
got to take a break, though Damnalready Already, and we will be
right back and stay tuned formore goodies.
Listen, dumb fucks.
We love you.
Just kidding Assholes.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Damn, pull them covers out.
I smell a little something.
Smells like chicken in the seadown there.
Little poor moon coming uptonight shining through the
trees, crickets are singing, soare the crabs.
Everybody's got a breeze.
Baby, get ready.
(31:40):
Across your field where theyturn their crack by the old
stump row, I'm gonna lick you ina special place that nobody
knows.
Baby, get ready.
Speaker 7 (32:02):
Ooh.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
You and me we're going fishing in the dark.
Gonna stick my wiener in yourfucking dirt start.
It's cool, yeah, gross.
You flood like a river in thefull moonlight while I'm licking
your pussy in the middle of thenight, Just moving slow,
(32:29):
Staying all night through.
I can't wait till I fill thatpuss with goo.
God damn that's a stinky crotch.
Speaker 7 (32:39):
Spring is almost over and summer's coming, goo God
damn, that's a stinky crotch.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Spring is almost over and summer's coming, so will I.
I can't wait to cream me nudgesright in your pie.
Baby, get ready.
Yeah, hope you took your plan B, bitch, and it don't matter if
we sit forever and your fishdon't bite.
(33:04):
Jump in the river and coolourselves when I'm fucking you.
Right, baby, get ready.
What the fuck is this shit onmy tongue?
You and me, we're going fishingin the dark.
You lie on your back.
Let me lick your ass realquickly, slow.
(33:27):
I'll cream like a river in thefull moonlight.
You'll be moaning and a-honingin all the night.
Just move and eat.
Let's go Honing in all thenight.
Just moving in, let's go.
Staying all night through.
I'm not wasting any of thisnight With you and me.
(33:51):
We're gonna fishing in yourpussy.
In your pussy I'm sticking mypenis in.
You're gonna blow, god damn,that pussy tight, lickety,
splickety, stick in my dog.
I'll feed your ass.
I'll lick your bum.
It's probably cleaner anyway.
You and me go fishing in thatpuss.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Gonna get it all nice , wet and juicy and I can't wait
to fuck you later, bitch.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
You make me a river in a cold moonlight.
I can't wait to bend you over.
Fuck you right.
You get this dick First of all.
If you're gonna tell me I ain'tgetting no pussy after I ate
that dirty snatch, you'refucking crazy.
Speaker 9 (34:46):
Yo, what's up?
Welcome back to the BestFreaking Podcast.
It's Every Day with Jon and Jaybaby.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Listen, you don't keep listening.
I'm coming over to your houseand licking your wife's asshole,
sticking my tongue up on thedirt button.
Speaker 9 (35:04):
You got that motherfucker.
Now check it out welcome back.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Hope you enjoyed that fucking podge podge of shitness
, that chaotic chaosnessnessness.
Yes, and I tell you what, ifthat teaches you anything ladies
, clean that snizz, that is yourbiz.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
All right, that is your biz.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
It should not smell like fish or whiz.
You got to get down there andclean your snizz.
I like that so I can jizz, so Ican jizz, yes, okay, so as we
get into the second half of thismotherfucker, oh, oh yeah, go
ahead, dude.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
What's up?
So I I told you the other day Iwas watching felix the cat the
movie.
Yeah, horrible, it's a horrible.
I loved it as a kid, and I knowI don't.
I asked you if you ever watchedit as a kid.
I don't think you did.
Did you ever watch that as akid?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
uh, felix the cat I did not okay oh yes, I guess I
did yes, okay, if you've everseen felix the cat.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
What was the other one was it?
Was it a perverted?
Was it perverted?
Wasn't there wasn't felix thecat, kind of perverted and gross
you know, he tried to makejokes and they just never land
oh, okay, because I watchedanother one that was like it was
fits the cat, fits the cat.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
You remember that it was Fitz the Cat, fitz the Cat,
you remember that?
Yeah, it was really nasty, yeah, okay, so we had two different
movies that were on Twodifferent things, yeah.
Mine was more like deprived.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
I'll play a clip real quick from the movie.
It's bad, but I loved it as akid.
For some reason, I'll just playthe trailer.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Fuck it, he's the dreamer who charmed the world,
the hero who never gave up, theclown who became one of the most
beloved characters in animatedhistory.
And now Felix is a major motionpicture.
Speaker 11 (36:59):
The cat is back.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, the cat that made a clock.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Yeah, he made a clock .
Let me try to find a clip here.
Speaker 7 (37:11):
Okay, maybe this.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So the shitty cool world.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Look how bad the animation is.
Speaker 11 (37:20):
I always thought Felix should be on the stage,
the first stage out of town.
It's like shitty cool world.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Look how bad the animation is so bad I'm not
going to play this whole thing.
This is like if Power Rangerswere animated.
What year is this movie?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
though 1985, I think.
What year is this movie though?
1985, I think I don't believe Isaid that.
So anyway, my whole point isthat there's a song the
soundtrack is actually okaythere's a song that's been stuck
in my head and it's sodeliciously 80s, and I'm not
talking like good 80s, like sodeliciously bad, it's good 80s.
Which one is?
Is it Dude?
I don't know.
(38:00):
So this is like the villainentry, like.
So the main villain is thisDarth Vader fucking wannabe.
He's called the Duke of Zild,he's like the uncle of the
princess of this neighboringkingdom.
So his introduction to themovie was this just fucking song
, and it's so deliciously 80sthis is like porn music from the
(38:29):
80s.
It's so bad I, I love it, thetwo girls, still, of course, the
.
You know what this sounds likewhat's that?
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Dude?
This sounds like David Bowie'sfucking song.
It does.
From Inglourious Bastards.
Yes, yes, gasoline, hey dude,yo Pull Up Gasoline.
By David Bowie Dude fromInglourious Bastards.
It sounds just like, yeah,bowie dude from Inglourious
Bastards.
It sounds just like, yeah,putting out fire.
(39:05):
Yep, you're right and you'llhear it.
This is from InglouriousBastards.
When she's getting ready forthe Nazi party at the theater.
Speaker 5 (39:27):
And I like how it's called Cat People.
Speaker 11 (39:30):
I'm so green.
Speaker 4 (39:36):
I can stare for a thousand years.
Speaker 7 (39:44):
Colder than the moon.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Glenn Tarantino was genius putting this in there.
Dude, it's such a good song.
I mean obviously way past thattime.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
Yeah, and I've been putting out fire.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
With gasoline.
With gasoline.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Oh my God, it does.
Holy shit.
You're right, dude.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
See these eyes so red Dude it's wow, red, like jungle
, burning bright, dude, dude,it's Wow.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Dude, he's got the same melody.
Yeah, dude, that's crazy.
Duke of Zillow, of course, dude.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
That's fucking crazy, that's what I thought of when
you were showing it to me orshowing it to everybody.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yeah, so in the movie he introduced, like that's how
the villains introduced withthis really really fucking
crappy 80s song.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
I love that shit.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
I love it, though.
The more cheese, the better.
It was cheesy, I love it,though.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
That's all I know I'm more cheese the better.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
It was cheesy, I love it and it's just dude it's.
It's so good and it's like Iwant because my brother put it
on our movie server.
I'm like oh, felix the cat, themovie.
I haven't watched this in like30 years and I watched it like
man this.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
This was so much better than a hidden gem, dude.
And nobody talks about thebrave little toaster.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Nobody talks about that fucking movie, dude.
Justin put that on our servertoo.
I've been meaning to watch thatas well.
That movie is awesome.
That is a movie nobody reallytalks about.
There's some scary fuckingparts of that movie, dude.
There is, dude, the part wherehe jumps and he saves the master
and he gets crunched up in thefucking gears.
Dude, that's scary.
That was fucked up.
(41:42):
Sad as fuck.
And when the air conditionergoes fucking short circuits and
shit.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Or when kirby eats his own fucking cord oh, there's
so many fucking parts like that, a lot of product placement in
there.
Kirby, yeah, kirby yeah.
I remember we had one of thosefucking things.
Six, eighteen hundred.
Oh, did it the lamp?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
did the lamp get electrocuted?
His bulb fucking burns out orgets popped out and shit.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Then he got brought back as the Pixar.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Disney gave him a job as the Pixar.
He was out of work for a while.
Wow, you know what?
I never made that connection,and I'm glad you did.
Pixar was his grandkid.
Oh, okay, okay, I gotcha.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Made a bunch of nightlights and they grew up to
be lamps.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
You're worthless.
The song where, like, all thecars are getting compacted and
shit.
At the end, yeah, it's like ohman, there's so much crazy shit
in this movie.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
So, on another note, sarah and I watched a movie
together.
Okay, if you want to look upthe trailer for Mousetrap,
mousetrap the Mousetrap, is thisan 80s movie?
No, it is a 24 movie.
Speaker 10 (42:57):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
It's the Mickey Mouse one, oh shit, oh okay, it's the
mickey mouse one, oh shit, anduh.
Yeah, we watched that the othernight and it was actually.
I didn't think it was too bad.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
the ending kind of sucked oh because, is it mickey
mouse technically in the publicdomain?
Speaker 1 (43:13):
yes, and what's funny is okay.
The beginning sequence of themouse trap is hilarious because
they do the Star Wars fuckinglettering and it says we are in
no way shape or form involvedwith any Disney products.
We love Disney.
We really, really, really dolove Disney.
We would never, ever, everimpose on Disney None, I swear.
(43:37):
None of these things are withDisney.
And it keeps going and it goes.
Also, the scrolling text is inno way shape or form involved
with star wars dude, it is,that's hilarious.
Good, yeah, after this you wantto play that beginning part?
Speaker 11 (43:54):
these are the best party that we can throw the
acting again has to be horrible.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
I can already tell within 10 seconds of this
trailer.
Speaker 10 (44:08):
There's blood all over the jungle gym Blood.
Speaker 5 (44:12):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (44:14):
Acting.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Acting.
Speaker 7 (44:18):
I think they got.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Steamboat Willie.
They do.
They play Steamboat Willie onCarcino acting.
Haha, I think that's Steve OWillie.
They do they play Steve OWillie.
I don't like Steve O.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Willie guys, because that's that's what's, it's the
public domain, technically right, yeah, is that is this.
Speaker 10 (44:37):
Yeah, he's like completely in love with me
already.
It's totally disgusting.
Put the phone down.
Put the phone down, please.
Speaker 7 (44:44):
I was like dude, I've already started.
No, no Turn around, please, jen.
Speaker 9 (44:48):
No, no, oh, oh, die bitch oh oh, fanny's dead.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
What, Like if he was in a horror movie, he'd never
say I'll be right back.
So they're self-aware, so it isa horror movie.
Speaker 5 (45:27):
Where the hell did he go.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
I think he's Freddy Krueger or something.
Dude, I love it I thought itwas okay.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
It wasn't the best movie.
It got 2.5 out of 10.
I could see why, 19% RottenTomatoes 1 out of 5.
Dude, see if you can find thebeginning scroll.
The best movie.
It got 2.5 out of 10.
I could see why.
19% Rotten Tomatoes, 1 out of 5.
Dude, see if you can find thebeginning scroll of this movie,
like the scrolling letters ofthis movie.
See if it'll show it.
Yes, yes, it'll hear in asecond, it'll do the fucking, I
(46:00):
think.
Does it show in the preview anyof the scrolling letters?
Maybe it was at the very, verybeginning?
Yeah, it might be in the very,very beginning.
I think it's going to show theintro letters.
(46:20):
I think I'm going to show theintro letters.
God, that sucks, because, dude,it was funnier than hell.
(46:46):
Let me see, that's fucking greatbut uh, god, that sucks it's
almost like space balls soanother, another movie that
we're going to be watching.
It's called benny loves you.
Oh man, dude, you're gonna lovethis one dude.
(47:07):
Oh my god, I cannot wait.
I got this on our on our list.
What, yes, what, yes, dude,what is this?
Speaker 9 (47:20):
the bear, he'll kill you all wait, have we seen this
already?
Speaker 3 (47:26):
this is like a muppet , like murder movie or something
.
No, that's not happy time.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Oh, that's happy okay this is a horror movie.
This is benny with an almolooking just for you.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
As long as you have him by your side, nothing can
ever hurt you not even a demon'sthe hallway.
Speaker 9 (47:43):
Apart from them.
Speaker 11 (47:49):
My story begins when I turn 35.
Jack, the company wantforeclosure on the loan.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Repossess your house.
I have to get this finished.
Lots of people are sayingyou're already finished.
Speaker 11 (48:02):
If you bought this tape, you're a loser.
It's time to let go of the past.
Do not fear change.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Embrace it.
Oh, oh shit, oh shit, holy fuckdude, that is frightening 79
(49:19):
rotten tomatoes on that onereally dude.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
5.6 out of 10 imdb I love that yes, okay.
So here's another one, but it'snot a movie okay this is a show
we've been watching I knowyou're not huge on it's always
sunny.
It has nothing to do withalways, it's always sunny
besides the guy from it's alwayssunny, it's in it.
Okay, it's called ap bio.
(49:42):
Oh my god, okay, so let me fillyou in okay he's a harvard
philosophy philosophy professor,okay, who got ousted by another
philosophy guy and he hates himand he's pissed.
He's forced to teach in toledo,ohio, what he fucking hates it.
(50:04):
No joke, they go to a walleyegame.
They show the walleye on there.
Yeah, he goes.
Toledo is the scum of the earth.
He's pretty much talked shitabout Toledo the whole time.
Patton Oswalt is the principalof this high school.
Okay, and it's funny, dude.
Amazing show, dude.
I mean you could point onwhatever one you want, dude.
(50:27):
I've with sarah and I've beenwatching this and I don't know
it got canceled after fourseasons, so I don't know what
the fuck happened okay hilarious.
It's got a school of rock meetsfucking.
It's always sunny, I guess, Idon't know because it's got
glenn howardton in it.
Speaker 8 (50:47):
You almost killed me.
What are you doing?
So sorry?
Let me show you something.
Whoa, whoa, where are you going?
Alright, everybody, let's goahead and start to shut up now.
My name's Jack Griffin and Idon't want to be here.
I'm living in my dead mom'sapartment while teaching
advanced placement biology.
I am an award-winningphilosophy scholar, but here's
(51:09):
the deal we're not going to doany biology in here.
Are you seriously never goingto teach us biology at all?
Maybe Pablo Picasso can come inand teach driver's ed.
This week, we are devoting ourattention to the psychological
dismantling of my academic rival, miles Leonard.
Miles happens to be British.
He also happens to be adopted,so this week we will practice
British accents and whosoever isbest will call him, posing as
(51:32):
his biological birth mother, andtell him some sort of
devastating secret.
Go.
Speaker 5 (51:37):
The bookstore at the mall has good espresso milord,
hey, not bad.
What is this class?
Speaker 7 (51:43):
Hey, where are you going, my lord, hey, not bad.
Speaker 11 (51:46):
What is this class?
Hey, where are you going?
Speaker 8 (51:48):
You can't leave these students unattended.
These kids are old enough toget pregnant.
They can't be alone for twoseconds.
That's literally the reasonthey shouldn't be left alone.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
It's Jack, right From Harvard.
Speaker 8 (51:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
Harvard Jack, so it seems like you're enjoying
yourself here.
Speaker 8 (52:01):
God no Teaching high school in toledo why have I not
heard of this?
Speaker 1 (52:09):
dude, it's on it's on netflix.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
This was on abnbc, it's on netflix now.
I mean yeah, yeah dude, that'scrazy.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
um, no joke, sarah and I've been watching it.
We're still in the first season.
No, when I get home, that'swhat we're doing.
Um, dude, okay, so every day isa whole new.
It's like it's always something.
Every day is a new episode,okay, so every day he's got a
new agenda he puts on the boardand he's drawing stick figures
and all this other shit.
Like, first, we're going to dothis, like the one we just
(52:36):
watched a little bit ago.
He's living in his deadmother's house, okay, and it's
all filled with Jesus shit.
Oh man, virgin Mary's everywhereand all that stuff.
He finds out that she donatedthis Virgin Mary to a statue, or
$10,000 to this church forVirgin Mary statue, and he goes
that statue is mine, we're goingto steal it.
(53:00):
So he gets the driver's ed car,cause he doesn't have a car.
Yeah and uh, it becomes thedriver's ed instructor just to
get the car.
Pat oswald's like okay, hereyou go.
And he takes three students outof his class they go, steal
they steal it.
And he's sitting at home andhe's fucking eating food and he
looks up and he's like, yeah,you know what I'm talking about,
(53:22):
don't you?
And he looks over at the virginmary picture and he's like,
yeah, and then nothing.
Like dude, it's funnier now.
So nuns, come in to the schoolbecause they saw the fucking
driver's head car take off yeahnuns come into school and they
float by the door oh shit, it'sscary he goes you think they saw
(53:43):
me and he speaks out the doorand the one nun goes and then,
like they're checking everything, he just like they got him
breaking down he decides to giveit back because they found a
retainer from one of the kidsand they're going one by one
through each kid.
So if they find this kid it's,the jig is up.
(54:05):
So, dude, it is amazing.
So if you want something tolike for you and your wife to
watch, or whatever dude, funnierthan a fuck dude you're
checking out, bro, that I I likethat.
Speaker 3 (54:21):
That's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
God, dude, it does have like reoccurring roles,
like there's Patton Oswalt.
Patton Oswalt's a goober in it.
Dude, it's funny becausethere's one part he goes he's
got like a little keyboard.
He's principal, so he's got akeyboard in his little office,
yeah, and they come over to himand they give him some bad news
(54:46):
I can't remember what it is andhe goes over to the piano and he
goes dun, dun, I'm like he'sall happy Sarah and I bust out
laughing, but he becomes one ofToledo's most sought after
bachelors.
like number eight on the list ofa hundred.
Speaker 3 (54:59):
Which one's this Best moments from season one.
Speaker 8 (55:05):
I can't, I can't, damn it, sarika.
Speaker 1 (55:10):
He picks on that kid all the time.
Speaker 8 (55:16):
I do not care about biology.
We're not going to do anybiology in here.
Let's go toss them guys.
This won't be one of thosethings where, over the course of
a year, I secretly teach it toyou Stop writing that down,
don't write that down.
It won't be one of those thingswhere I end up learning more
from you than you do from me.
I know more than all of youcombined, so that doesn't make
(55:36):
any sense.
Welcome to AP Bio.
Speaker 2 (55:39):
This is Jack right From Harvard.
Yeah, Ooh, Harvard Jack.
All right well have you beenout on any dates lately?
Speaker 8 (55:46):
Funny, you should ask .
I've actually got firm plans tobang my high school ex as hard
as I can tonight so he's gonnabang her as hard as he can
tonight, not regular hard,aggressively hard.
Speaker 2 (55:58):
So it seems like you're enjoying yourself here.
God, no, I'm not.
Speaker 8 (56:05):
I went in high school in Toledo.
Sweet bizarre car you gonna beokay, not with that name on it
no Ah.
How'd you know?
I didn't.
I didn't Hand to God, I did notknow.
Oh man, I could really, Icoulda really hurt you Woo.
Oh man, all right, I could getarrested for something like that
.
Dude.
(56:27):
Shut up immediately, quicklyfinish shutting up everybody.
All right guys.
Great update.
No, you only care aboutyourself, jack.
Technically, deep down, we allonly care about ourselves.
Psychological egoism.
Well, you know what I happen tocare about this school.
Speaker 9 (56:48):
But yeah, you don't respect that and frankly, I
don't think you respect me.
Oh, come on, ralph, you know wecool?
Speaker 8 (56:54):
No, I don't do that Are we cool, are we cool?
It's not like I don't know whatyou guys are thinking.
Anyway, Anthony's over there.
Like I'm judging Anthony, youknow Victor's sitting there,
like.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
I think this may have gotten out of hand, Mr Griffin
I think it has, at the risk ofbeing a permanent virgin.
Speaker 8 (57:13):
don't you think you should come clean and tell Miles
it wasn't Devin's fault andSarika's like?
Speaker 9 (57:16):
I think I speak on behalf of all the nerds in the
whole wide world and I sayyou're a bad guy.
Mr Griffin.
Sarika's right, as usual.
Speaker 8 (57:23):
Jack, take it easy.
Oh, go easy, let's go.
Everybody go easy, you know?
No, I'm sorry, ralph, but I'mtrying to play the game.
Isn't that why we're here, toplay the game?
All right, you know what?
You guys are just jealousbecause I'm going to bring you
back.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
We're on that episode right now.
Speaker 8 (57:46):
That's what it stickers out of your buttholes.
This week, we will practice andperfect British accents, and
whosoever is best will call him,posing as his biological birth
mother, who he's never met, andtell him some sort of
devastating secret.
Focus on taking down the milesdisplay.
You will infiltrate the storeby getting jobs there and
(58:06):
changing the staff pick, therebygiving me some.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
Is this every week?
Yes, with these cocky babies.
Yes, every episode.
So I wasn't able to hitEggleston, but.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
Dude that's fucking hilarious.
He has all these cocky babiesfucking ideas.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
They look like James Bond.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
It's so funny.
I love the illustrations of theBlackboard Dude.
Speaker 1 (58:25):
he does this every week, every time he makes one of
the kids pretend to be his kid,to devastate him because he's
like and then the guy's like ohmy son, I can't believe it.
Blah, blah, blah.
So he ends up hanging out withhim at a walleye game.
Dude, that's where you see thewalleye Okay.
Yeah, they dude, that's whereyou see the wall.
(58:47):
Okay, yeah, they talk about thetoledo zoo and everything else.
Dude, I love the like placement.
They did film a little bit intoledo, which is kind of cool.
That's sweet, that's so funnydude I'm not kidding dude, the
show is so good, so good and, ifyou like, if you, if you do end
up liking him okay he acts alot like his character in it's
always sunny I'm not gonna liedude yeah, he acts just like um
(59:10):
dennis reynolds and then fucking.
Speaker 3 (59:12):
It's always the first comment.
Speaker 1 (59:13):
Jack griffin is just dennis reynolds from another
universe who's allowed to eatapple skin oh, that's right,
dude, okay, so if you want tosee that dude, look up fucking
Dennis, dennis.
Not allowed to eat apple skins,dude.
And then I'm not kidding, heflips out.
I'm not allowed to eat themwith the skin on it, I'm not
(59:34):
allowed Right here.
Oh, my God, oh, do me a favor.
Speaker 8 (59:38):
Peel this apple for me.
Please Watch this.
Speaker 9 (59:40):
No, no, I'm not going to peel an apple for you.
Speaker 8 (59:43):
But Mac always does it for me.
Why does Mac peel your applesfor you?
He doesn't like for me to eatthe apples with the skin on it.
He says the skin's loaded withtoxins.
Okay, well, good news, mac'snot here, I know he's not here,
and that's why I need you to doit for me, Please, please, oh
Jesus.
Speaker 9 (59:59):
Just eat it with the skin.
I'm not allowed.
I'm not allowed.
If you just shut up, I willpeel the apple for you the way
that Mac likes you to eat it.
Give it to me, give it to me,I'll do it the way that Mac
insists.
Okay, I'm not allowed.
Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
I'm not kidding, dude .
Some of the shit, okay, so likejust a prerequisite on that,
Our Mac and Dennis were ourroomies and they're really close
.
Mac becomes gay.
So he hits on Dennis and Dennisis like no dude, I'm not gay,
leave me alone.
But the roomies in this episodethey end up breaking up because
D, his sister, is like do youever think that it's weird that
(01:00:38):
you guys can't go an hourwithout saying anything to each
other?
You guys are codependent oneach other and they think about
it and it gets in their headsand they're like break up.
So he ends up living with Deeand then right after this part,
charlie comes in and Dennis isall excited because he's got
somebody to hang out with.
He's like Charlie's in thehouse, charlie's in the house.
(01:00:59):
They start dancing toward eachother and he's like, hey, you
want an apple with no skin.
He's like, yeah, sure, I'lltake an apple.
And he goes d one more appleskinless.
And she goes you make your owngoddamn apple, charlie.
Some of this shit's so good,dude, I'm not allowed to have it
.
Dude, it's so good I'm notallowed to have it with the skin
on.
(01:01:19):
I'm not allowed.
I'm not allowed dennis like, ifyou watch the show, dennis would
be your favorite, because he isa skit, he's a psycho and
there's a part where he driveshis Range Rover.
Oh dude, do me a solid Look up,dennis Rain flipping out on
(01:01:39):
Range Rover.
Flip out, oh my.
God dude Yep, there it is.
Watch this, this is great.
Speaker 8 (01:01:49):
Bob, I want to thank you for answering my ad so
quickly.
Speaker 11 (01:01:51):
Well, I really needed a car, and I always
wanted a.
Speaker 8 (01:01:53):
Range Rover, yeah Well, hey, I got to tell you,
though, it's not just a car,this is a lifestyle.
This is an Eddie Bauer editiontortoise shell interior,
supercharged, twin cam, europeanluxury sports utility vehicle.
My friend, wow, yeah, it's aclassic.
Okay, the only reason I'mgiving her up is because I'm
ready to turn a page, thinkingabout getting out for romeo.
What do you think?
Two seats me and a babe likebabes.
(01:02:15):
Bob, oh, yeah, sure, yeah, whodoesn't like babes?
Yeah, yeah, it's a wonderfulmachine.
I used it to traverse theplains of the serengeti of my
life.
Now I want that for you, bob.
Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
That's a great sales pitch right, I'm sorry, are you?
Speaker 6 (01:02:31):
talking about the car in the river.
Speaker 8 (01:02:33):
Yeah, Well, it's an amphibious exploring vehicle, so
what?
You think you can pull it outof the river?
No, no, what fun would that be?
Right, that's not my job,that's your job.
I don't want to take that fromyou.
You're gonna love it, yeah,right, but I just I didn't bring
a change of clothes or anything.
That's not really my fault, isit?
You know, I gotta say your lineof questioning's starting to
annoy me.
(01:02:53):
Oh no, I'm sorry, I just.
You know, I thought I was gonna.
The car has spoken.
I have spoken.
You obviously don't get what'shappening here, so be gone with
you, alright.
Alright, there's that anchorcoming up again, getting weird
and arched.
There's another one.
Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
Another guy comes up and he's like oh, it's a Phoebus
vehicle.
He's like oh great.
Speaker 8 (01:03:17):
I'm cool as a cucumber.
It's all good.
Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
He's trying to be calm like keep his pressure down
, but he loses his shit.
This is the best part righthere, excuse me, hi.
Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
You guys selling the car oh yeah, yes, hi, hi, yeah,
I might like to buy it.
What do you want for it?
Speaker 8 (01:03:39):
Well, I was thinking somewhere in the ballpark of the
original price, but consideringthe circumstances I'm open to a
reasonable discussion, Allright, I mean it is an
amphibious exploring vehicle, soit should be fine, right.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
It's nice to talk to areasonable man.
Now you're a sportsman becauseyou look very fit.
(01:04:00):
Oh, I ski, you ski.
Oh, excellent, love skiing.
Yeah, do you travel a lot Forwork?
Speaker 3 (01:04:06):
yeah, europe, eastern Europe, all over, really, and I
assume you'll be taking the carwith you on these trips, me.
Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm lookingfor something for my daughter.
Your daughter.
Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
You see her change.
Speaker 7 (01:04:28):
Safe slow vehicle Starter car Starter.
Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Car Starter car he's fucking flipping right now.
Speaker 8 (01:04:34):
I have contained my rage for as long as possible,
but I shall unleash my fury uponyou like the crashing of a
thousand waves.
Speaker 9 (01:04:43):
Be gone, vile man.
Be gone from me.
A starter car, this car is afinisher car, a transporter of
gods, the golden god.
I am untethered and my rageknows no bounds.
Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
What a weirdo.
He is nuts, he is nuts.
And there's a part where theygo to a fucking high school
reunion.
He calls himself the golden godand he goes.
You were just weird.
You called yourself the goldengod and you referred to us as
all your minions and shit.
Dude like he's pretends he'shigh and mighty and everybody
else is a piece of shit dennisreynolds is amazing and I
(01:05:22):
learned to appreciate him a lotmore watching these shows.
Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
It's a finisher car.
Be gone, my old man.
Be gone, my old man.
That is funny, dennis.
Reynolds, I think you wouldlove him, dude, but with that
said, we are out of time for theday.
Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to soak up that last half
hour.
Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
It's okay, it's all good, dude, you know what?
Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
By showing you AP Bio and hopefully you get to watch
that dude.
Oh my God, dude, it's so funny.
Yeah, Dude, that does look good.
I just listened to it, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
so, with that said, thanks for everybody for
listening all across the world.
You can catch us on Spotify,apple Music, amazon.
Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Especially Tony, because he always answers all of
our questions.
Yeah appreciate you, bud, and Ihope you enjoyed skittles, yeah
, last week I love skittles mandude, I want to make a whole
album of we should, skittles do.
Speaker 3 (01:06:14):
We should, I tell you what here?
Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
I want to know if we made a whole skittles album,
would anybody be interested inhaving it?
What would be funny is if wedid it and we put it on amazon
yeah, and just have peoplelisten to listen to it.
Speaker 3 (01:06:29):
Yeah, yeah, dude, that'd be so fucking epic.
Uh.
Any other departing wordsbefore we leave the sea vidig uh
, no, I uh.
Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
I would just like to say, like john said, thank you
everybody for listening.
Hope you guys got someinformative things, especially
if you're into metal music anduh, movies and video and stuff.
Um, so do we just, I don't knowwe love doing this is so much
easier to talk yeah, doing thisformat.
Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
Yeah, so you get a little bit of everything from us
.
You get a little life updates,you get a little perspective on
our on cultures did you ever,dude?
Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
I was thinking, man, and this is just popped in my
head and you know I haven't saidanything remotely horrible in a
while.
Okay, and I'm just kind ofwondering do you think there
were any Negro Jews that wereput into the gas chambers, or do
you think they thought theywere cooked already?
Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
Like they were like already, they're just pre-cooked
.
We left this one in too longalready.
Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
This is like a chicken tender.
We left in the air fryer toolong, so, uh, this one's good,
so what?
Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
what if he wasn't done all?
The way, and then like oh well,oh nope, put it back in.
It's a little raw still see thewhites still see the whites of
his tongue.
God people people talk aboutpeople, talk about people uh,
(01:07:52):
with that said, we're gonnaleave you this evening just run
it together right at the endyeah, fuck all
Speaker 9 (01:08:00):
you call you.
Speaker 7 (01:08:05):
We appreciate everybody and if you're.
Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
If you were here after that one, then you are
awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
So well, if you're after that one, you got like 10
seconds and then you're fuckinggood to go, yeah you're good to
go, so we'll see.
Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
On the next rip, I'm john brittner and I'm jason.
See you later.
Later, guys.
It's every day with John and Jay.
Comedy Skits, random bullshit,tim and Jerry, it's not your day
(01:02):
, it's not my day.
This is our day and it's my day.
This is our day, and it's everyday with John and Jay.
You like racy shit, you likeproblems going on.
You like sexual misconduct?
You're in the right fuckingplace.
Listen up, you fucking freaks.
(01:22):
It is time to get the show onthe road.
We're ready to hit this episodeof it's every day with john and
jay.
Let's rock.
Hey, everybody, welcome toanother episode of it's Every
(01:43):
Day with Jon and Jay.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yeah, what's up, howdy ho.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It's not about back in the day, it's about your day
it's, your day it's every day.
Go ahead and tell me about itTell us about your day Tell
Speaker 3 (01:54):
us about your day.
Please call us at Klondike.
555-232-421.
867-5309.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
867-309, and we'll be here To talk about your
feelings.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Jenny will be Awaiting your call.
You know that was actually Areal number.
I heard about that.
It was actually like An actualand then, I think it At one
point it went to like Some sortof automated deal After a while.
I don't know if it's even Stilla working number, because I
think you gotta dial an areacode now, right yeah, yeah, you
do, you won.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, well, no, you got 419.
Remember when our numbers usedto be like 447?
Whatever, yeah I did thiseverywhere I think it was 6251,
was my or fuck?
I remember yours, but I don'tremember mine growing up my
parents it wasn't 8735 orsomething like that yeah it was
uh 939-8735.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Hey, oh yeah, like what oh?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
so if you'd like to prank john and um john's parents
, go ahead and uh call 939-8735yeah, I wasn't, I don't.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
They don't even really use their home area code
567 because they they prettymuch transition to cell phones
now.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, so your dad can watch porn.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
He'd fall asleep during it.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
He's like John, if you're going to hit on my wife,
I might as well look atnoughties Boy, don't you put?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Pornhub on.
Boy, don't you hit on my wifewhile I'm looking up noughties
Boy, that's my woman.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Dude, it's so hilarious, it's so fucked up man
, it is dude.
If my wife and dad weretogether and they lived in Ohio,
dude, I'd totally make fun ofthem.
I would say the same shit.
The only problem is, well, I'mnot going there, I'm going to
let that go.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Yeah.
Boy, take a dream and turn itto reality what the fuck is a
dream nightmare or whatever thefrom that uh burt wonderstode.
Oh my god, take your dreams andturn them into reality
nightmares.
What the fuck is a realitynightmare, dude?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
okay.
So I went home after our lastpodcast showed Sarah Finley as
well, yeah, okay.
So just to let everybody know,john and I watched Finley.
It was amazing, it washilarious.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I wanted, I was, I wanted more.
I wanted 90 minutes of that Ofjust him trying to fuck up.
And they, just after a while,they're just like oh man, it's
just fiddly, he's just trying tokill us again and it's like
he's running dude, he's likehe's putting rat poison in there
.
I love the ominous ending of itlike spoiler I, it just sucked
(04:37):
my.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
My biggest thing is I didn't I.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I wanted him to keep being a fault like being stupid
at it, right well, I, I thinkfor a, for a 90, I think,
because maybe why you felt thatway?
Because it was such it was only25 minutes short, like if there
was 90 minutes of of characterbuilding, of that, and I would
laugh my fucking ass off.
Just him, just he, never madeit, and then what would be funny
(05:02):
?
He does it by accident at theend yeah, accident, he does it
at the end.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
He tries to hang himself, but he's wood.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
well, they can do that during the movie you can do
that during the movie, wherehe's just so upset at himself
that he can't kill anybody.
He tries to kill himself, buthe can't do it because he's he
can't do anything right, he's afucking, he's a puppet.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So he's actually just hanging there like oh yeah, and
that's how you end the movie.
Like he gets so depressed, hegoes up to the attic and he
hangs himself and that's it.
But they go up there to checkon him and he's just fucking
smiling and he's just sittingthere swinging dude.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I love the concept.
I did like the idea of you knowhim, him actually figuring it
out because they.
It's not because he wasthreatening or because these
these dudes came in and wereharming they, it's because they
threatened a cat yeah, becausehe loved the cat.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So that to me was so funny yeah, he was smiling when
they were doing it yeah, hedidn't care what they were doing
, but Susan the gun at the cathe's like.
Oh fuck His smile went away.
Yeah, and you know what myquestion is.
My question is did he know howto kill people the whole time?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Maybe, that's.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
That's the only answer question.
It just didn't really clickwith me.
It was like did he understandhow to kill the whole time and
he just was fucking off withthese people?
Or was he learning?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
how to kill.
I think with a full-lengthfeature he could have a little
bit more trial and error untilhe does figure it out.
I think somebody needs to pickthat up, Because it went
straight from him fucking up tofiguring it out, which it was
only a 25-minute short.
It went straight from himfucking up to figuring it out
which I it was only a 25 minuteshort and I get it.
You know there's a lot of stuffin between there that obviously
(06:49):
needed to be set.
It was loaded, yeah, 25 yeah,there was a lot of shit going on
, so it was I basically what mytakeaway from that is that I
wanted more.
that's, that's all I could.
It's like I wanted more of thisand it's just, you see, there's
the genre of puppets and dollscoming to life and being murder,
(07:10):
you know being, you knowsupernatural murderers and shit
that's been done.
But this was done in such areally fun and creative and
funny way, to the point whereit's like, okay, chucky's been
done, but you know people areknow people like, okay, all you
gotta do is kick him, and theydid that.
It's like he's like it comesout.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I mean she just goes, boom, just kicks all the things
that people say in these movies, like it's a doll.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
How the fuck can you like let a doll overpower you
and it's just.
And then you know when, whenfinley tries to wrap the bag
around, he's just like hisfucking facial expressions.
Heley tries to wrap the bagaround, he's just like his
fucking facial expressions.
He's like.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
He's like Finley Are you done, yet, you done, yet.
He stops for a second and hekeeps going.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
He's like it was so well done and, as I said, that
just it's stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You can watch it on YouTube.
And it's Finley F-I-N-L-E-Y.
Yeah, it's stuff like.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
You can watch it on youtube and it's finley
f-i-n-l-e y, yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I love shit like I love if you're in ohio, it's not
the same as finley finley, ohio.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
This was what I thought you said the last time.
But yeah, check it out becauseit's so fucking well made and I
mean even for like a small indiefilm like this.
The special effects wereactually practical.
Now I could tell at parts theacting was shit the acting was
not great but, like to me, thestar of the show was the doll
and they did really wellcapturing like emotions from a
(08:31):
fucking inanimate, you knowcreature or from a fucking
puppet.
So yeah, I bought it, I boughtinto it and it was.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It was fantastic if they made a whole movie.
I would buy, buy it.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Oh 100%.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
So okay.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Need more of those.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yes, definitely.
So you were talking aboutbefore we started talking about
Dana Carvey.
Speaker 10 (08:53):
Oh yeah Doing.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Biden oh yeah.
I want to see this because Idon't know if I've ever seen it
that dude's had a fall fromgrace.
Dana Carvey fuck.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
He has a podcast now.
It's him and um uh, not robschneider him and him and ours
no, uh, one of the other slpeople.
Uh, joe, dirt guy oh, davidspade yeah, him and david spade
have they look the same.
Yeah, him and david spade havea podcast oh my god, this is
(09:27):
gonna be good.
Speaker 6 (09:39):
Come on, come on.
Hello everybody, thank you forthe press for joining us to
document this very importantpresidential transition meeting.
I'm being serious right now.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Who's Trump?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
dude, it's one of just the big people I'm eager to
sit down for a respectfulconversation.
Speaker 11 (09:56):
Yeah, get a load of me.
Instead of being rude and crazylike usual, it's one of those
debate people Just like thatmeme.
Can we put it?
Speaker 6 (10:06):
up side by side, and this is fine.
Speaker 11 (10:22):
It does look like that we love.
This is fine dog, all right.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
We're going to ask you reporters to leave so we can
meet alone and we're going totalk details.
That's right.
We're going to have just twoboomers here talking about nukes
.
We lost some.
We don gonna have just twoboomers here talking about nukes
.
We lost some, we don't knowwhere they are.
Speaker 10 (10:42):
Anyway, have a good day.
Thank you everyone.
You can scream your questionson the way out.
What's going to happen?
How scared should we be?
Should I move to Canada?
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Alright, now that we're alone, let's get to work.
We're gonna go over that lastfew months of the NATO briefings
.
How does that sound?
Speaker 11 (10:58):
Ugh, I forgot how boring president is.
Love running, hate being, and Ihate the White House.
So old, so dated, so many ofthe carpets are stinky and
sticky at the same time.
Sort of like being at a RegalCinemas.
Oh my God, for the next fouryears possibly longer, possibly
(11:22):
longer.
Speaker 6 (11:22):
Come on, let's be real man.
This place is great.
I have so many wonderfulmemories here, dr dill, hosting
foreign leaders, my dogattacking every single one.
I brought my party together somuch they teamed up and kicked
me out.
Wait a minute, maybe I hate ithere too.
Speaker 11 (11:41):
No, joke, no, joke, no.
It's awful, but I can't go backto Mar-a-Lago Joe because Elon
is there and he will not leave.
It's like what about Bob?
He's walking around in hisbathing suit showing me videos
of rockets and monkeys withcomputers in their heads.
This guy's cringe AF.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Donald, you're the president now.
You can't just say anything youdon't want to say.
You got to watch how you talk,because you got a lot of power
Power pop, pop daddy, p-daddy,p-daddy Riding on a pony.
Call him macaroni.
Speaker 11 (12:16):
Wow, what the hell was that?
Did you just do the weave?
Speaker 6 (12:22):
No, oh, come on, man, it's my own version of the
weave.
I call it the wander.
The wander or I go there or Icome back, guess what no.
Speaker 11 (12:35):
All right.
Well, thanks for your advice,but I already know how to do.
President, it's all aboutsurrounding yourself with the
best people, and I am veryfastly picking the most epic
cabinet of all time.
They're some of the mostdynamic, free-thinking,
animal-killing, sexuallycriminal, medically-dirty people
in the country.
Who are you thinking about?
Well, we've got Elon and MattGates.
(12:57):
That's an alien versus predator.
Speaker 7 (13:00):
We've got.
Speaker 11 (13:05):
We've got Kristi Noem and RFK Jr.
They're killing the dogs,they're killing the bears and
Melania will be working remotelyfrom divorce.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
I see what you're doing with these nominations.
You're picking a bunch of wackojackos to test how compliant
the Senate will be with yourpolicies.
Speaker 11 (13:23):
Yep, that's what I'm doing.
It's all part of a very smartplan that I definitely thought
of before.
You just said that.
Speaker 8 (13:30):
Mr President, it's not on your agenda, but Matt
Gaetz is here to see Mr Trump,all right.
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Oh man, that looks just like him.
Who's that?
Amy Poehler?
Hello.
Speaker 10 (13:45):
Mr Trump, thank you for having me.
Yeah, thank you for seeing me,and might I say giggity, giggity
.
Speaker 11 (13:53):
Giggity to you as well, Matt.
Speaker 10 (13:55):
I don't want to bother you, you.
I just wanted to thank you fornominating me for attorney
general, I'm gonna do a greatjob if anyone tries I don't know
who the fuck says sarah shermanwhat?
Speaker 6 (14:05):
I told my eyebrows freeze come on, you're serious
with this guy's guys, give methe ick, I know me too, but too,
but I think he's going to beterrific.
Speaker 10 (14:18):
Of course I had to resign from Congress because the
confirmation process comes atthe busiest time of year for me
the holidays Girls' volleyballseason.
You've got another jacked kinghere to see you RFK Jr Bobby.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Alec Baldwin is RFK Jr.
Bobby oh, Alec Baldwin is JFKJr.
He did Trump the last cycle 62degrees tomorrow, bro yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I don't mean to interrupt you.
I just wanted to tell you againI'm so honored to be the head
of the Health and human servicesDepartment of Americans needs
someone to teach them how to behealthy Someone like me, a 70
year old man with movie starlooks and a worm in his brain.
Speaker 11 (15:10):
Bobby, I love you.
I can't wait to see what you dowith this country in terms of
health and with regard tomeasles outbreak, I care deeply
about a woman's right to chooseto choose to give her child
polio.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
I just wish people would take my appointment more
seriously.
All right, I got to go.
I got a dead dolphin in my car.
I think I might saw it in halfand dump it in Central Park.
I'll let you know.
Hey, I'll let you know how itgoes.
Thanks for the job, man.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I wonder if this is before or after he accidentally
shot somebody on set.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
This is after the fact, yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Let's get serious for a second.
I've got to tell you something.
I know your campaign was allabout retribution, but think of
the opportunity you have to riseabove and reach across the
aisle and use your enormousforce of personality to better
the lives of all Americans.
Speaker 11 (16:02):
I think we'll be doing retribution, but that's
very interesting, you gottaremember this.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
You got off easy.
I think we both know if I wasin the race I would have beat
you like a drum.
Speaker 11 (16:12):
Joe, that's one of the craziest things I've ever
heard anyone say, and for thatreason I'd like to offer you a
position in my cabinet.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
No, can do jack.
Need to make uh take a littletime off from this place.
What do you think you'll donext, joe?
Will you retire?
I'll do whatever worn down oldguy does.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I'm gonna fight jack, paul dude and then, uh, I think
uh, mike myers does elon muskand that was fucking funny too.
That's crazy dude.
It's like they.
Finally, I'm glad they'rebringing like old sl people back
to do I kind of do these rolesso dude, okay, so stick on
(16:55):
YouTube.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I've been on a wage war kick, like I was telling you
the other night Check out DeathRoll by Wage War, wage War.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Death.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Roll.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
oh my, that looks good, check this song out.
This is my favorite song fromthese guys.
Oh, that's fucking nasty.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
This is my favorite song from these guys.
Oh yeah, that's fucking nasty.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I love a good pitch harmonic man.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I gotta text Sarah and see what that band was
called.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
She was telling me the other night, terrified In
darkness.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yeah, yeah, dude, I like it.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Dude I love these guys.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
I'm a huge into them and I get to see them next month
.
Oh, that's sweet dude.
I like it good.
I love these guys, I'm a hugeinto them, and I get to see them
next month.
Oh that's sweet dude.
I saw some fucks Swallow youall.
Speaker 7 (18:15):
Drinking you down in a death roll.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Dude, that pitch harmonics is so good.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Dude, I can listen to bands put pitch harmonics in
their shit all day.
It's after the burial shit, Iknow right, I can listen to that
shit all day long man.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Get down from birth Underneath the dying sun.
There can be no future here.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I got another new band to check out too.
Oh, all right.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Is this another one of the $5?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
No, this one my wife found she was listening to it in
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I'm like holy shit, this is hard as fuck.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Yeah, like, who is that?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
oh god, that's nasty oh dude, is wage war not badass?
They're playing with fuckingstained and um and breaking
benjamin.
Really.
Yeah, you know I'm getting aWage War shirt, dude, it's gonna
fucking happen Such a great dayfor a band-aid too, I guess.
(19:21):
I saw him at Ink, I don'tremember.
Oh, really Like last year.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I can listen to that breakdown when we're done that's
so nasty.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yes, dude that's sick okay so the new, the next one,
is called and after that I mightcall my brother.
We'll see what he wants to talkon the fucking podcast.
Dead by April.
My Light is the name of thesong that she had, but I want to
see what their best song is, soit's called Dead by April.
I love Wage War, though that'sbeen my.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Dude, I like it.
That's a good metalcore.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
What I like, okay, I don't know if anybody else does
this, and I want to see tonyanswer me and let me know if you
.
If you do this too, I'll listento metal in the shower, I'll
listen to wage war and I'll putfucking screaming like being
like I won't be screaming in theshower but I'll be like no shit
, dude.
Um, okay, so I want to see whattheir top song is.
(20:38):
Um, okay, all right.
So, um, let me see, herethey're, they're number one here
.
I'm gonna see what song shesuggests, because this is the
one she was like.
My light is, uh, the song thatshe had me or that was listening
(20:58):
to, and I think it's got.
Obviously it's got some postpart, but, dude, the heavy parts
are hard as fuck.
I never heard these guys.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
She found them I like the guitar tone.
I do too.
Speaker 7 (21:43):
Dead by April.
All right, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
I like that shit.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Gotta be a big chorus .
Usually it's followed up withsome heavy shit.
I'm falling faster and faster.
My life is crazy.
I'm weak, I'm not supposed tobe.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be.
I'm not supposed to be, I'm notsupposed to be.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
I'm not supposed to be Speaker 2.
Speaker 7 (22:54):
Yeah, sarah was listening to it in the bathroom
Like good who the fuck is this?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
She goes.
This is the one I was tellingyou about.
I was like who is it?
Yeah, I just texted her and shesent this to me.
Oh, come on Breakdown.
This is where I'd be in theshower.
(23:21):
Just started doing screamingshit behind it, dude, oh man.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
You never know about bands like this which way
they're going to go with this.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I know that's what's exciting.
It's like Christmas.
They went a little softer.
Yeah, I was kind of hoping itwould do that.
Speaker 7 (24:06):
Yeah, just start fucking going nuts.
I like that.
Fucking elements in the dark.
Can I find the way out?
Oh, this life is a maze.
I'm afraid of All right dude.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
So now look up Outcome, outcome, outcome is
their number one.
Oh, from this band, from thatband, dead by April, outcome is
their number one song.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
It's probably your Dead by April.
That looks awesome Outcome.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Saw the two dudes fucking facing each other like
Mortal Kombat shit dude.
Yeah, I love their techno feel.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Yeah, I love the little electronica elements in
the battle.
Love shit.
That band's used that now.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Oh, Tokyo Drifting.
Speaker 9 (25:12):
Look at what drifted.
Ha ha, ha, ha, ha ha.
Looks like Seamus.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I work out where I wanna be the pain I'm getting.
(25:38):
Looks like Seamus.
Speaker 7 (25:41):
Change my outcome.
Change my outcome.
Change my outcome.
Never question my decisionmaking, never doubt myself.
I'm a beast in the making.
I keep my feet on the ground,but I observe the changing.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
People say I used to be humble Behind the scenes.
Damn, I work till I crumble.
The sacrifice is real.
What you feel is not alwaysreal.
A room for emotional fear.
I'm a beast in the making.
Sacrifice is real.
What you feel is not alwaysreal.
You're all for emotional fear.
I'm out of here.
The bass line is fuckingawesome.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I was going to say that bass line is meaty, Meaty
as fuck.
It reminds me of like Breaking.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Benjamin.
Linkin Park Meets Linkin Park.
Yeah, I feel it too Like thesinging sounds like Chester and
the rapping.
If you wouldn't Dude, if youwould have just played this for
me, I would have said LinkinPark.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
It feels old but new at the same time.
With the electronica, yeah,this feels old, but it has a new
.
It feels new, if that makessense.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I would think it was Linkin Park, but I would
question it when they startedjust basically singing Right.
Oh okay, kind of like a kidquestions his heterosexuality,
yeah.
Speaker 10 (27:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (27:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, I love that.
By the way, wage War, does thata lot?
What blacks.
Speaker 9 (27:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Black yeah, dude I love it.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
They're well-placed, dude.
I saw a shirt on Amazon thatsaid black in the death core
lettering, but it was on apicture of like flowers and
cutie, black, black uh this onehas three million views I want
to check that one.
I just want to hear one morefrom these guys because I'm on
board.
Oh, that's breaking.
(27:56):
Benjamin 100%, right there,just a little harder.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I'm fucking Terminator.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah it's like Linkin Park meets Breaking Bad.
Would you let go?
Speaker 10 (28:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Dude, these guys are awesome.
Big big course, big bigchoruses.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
yeah, I like it see, when I listen to these guys in
the shower, I'd be fucking doingthat like screaming behind them
yeah, like, yeah, yeah, I lovethat.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
Yeah, with the cleat vocals, with this screaming
behind him.
Yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Yeah, with the Khalid vocals,with this little screaming
behind it.
Yeah, that's so cool.
I like it because it's like thewhole Fast and Furious crew.
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (29:22):
You got Johnny Tran rapping.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
That's the guy that didn't like Paul Walker Right.
Yeah you're 100% correct onthat.
You didn't even have your car Igive a thumbs up to these guys
yes, dude, dead by april is thename of the first song.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Well, first song was probably my favorite to be
honest, first song was myfavorite, the one that sarah
pointed out.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, that's good, what was that one called?
It was called my light orsomething like that.
Here I'll pull it back upbecause I got fucking uh sarah's
text message my light by deadby april.
By April was the first song,the second one was Outcoming and
this one was probably thesecond Break, my.
Fall was this one.
It's the most popular.
But yeah, the first band welistened to was Wage War and
(30:10):
it's called Death Roll.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Oh man those guys are awesome.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Dude, and no joke if you get into Wage War and start
listening to their shit.
They do a lot of those Blah,blah Dude.
I fucking love it Blah Becausethey're well-placed and they
have the echo on the end of them, dude.
Blah.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
So I see Babymetal because it's in my
recommendations, because Ilisten to them a lot, but I saw
that Babymetal's going to do areally yeah that's gonna be epic
you know, I'd like to see, I'dlike to see this dude right here
.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Bring this to life.
Yeah, baby metal.
Collab with harabi yeah, that'dbe badass and alex terrible
everybody dude and then you knowwhat, let's throw eskimo cowboy
yeah, why not?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
let's bring them back .
Yeah, let's do it.
That is a turducken ofawesomeness right there, but we
got to take a break, though Damnalready Already, and we will be
right back and stay tuned formore goodies.
Listen, dumb fucks.
We love you.
Just kidding Assholes.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Damn, pull them covers out.
I smell a little something.
Smells like chicken in the seadown there.
Little poor moon coming uptonight shining through the
trees, crickets are singing, soare the crabs.
Everybody's got a breeze.
Baby, get ready.
(31:40):
Across your field where theyturn their crack by the old
stump row, I'm gonna lick you ina special place that nobody
knows.
Baby, get ready.
Speaker 7 (32:02):
Ooh.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
You and me we're going fishing in the dark.
Gonna stick my wiener in yourfucking dirt start.
It's cool, yeah, gross.
You flood like a river in thefull moonlight while I'm licking
your pussy in the middle of thenight, Just moving slow,
(32:29):
Staying all night through.
I can't wait till I fill thatpuss with goo.
God damn that's a stinky crotch.
Speaker 7 (32:39):
Spring is almost over and summer's coming, goo God
damn, that's a stinky crotch.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Spring is almost over and summer's coming, so will I.
I can't wait to cream me nudgesright in your pie.
Baby, get ready.
Yeah, hope you took your plan B, bitch, and it don't matter if
we sit forever and your fishdon't bite.
(33:04):
Jump in the river and coolourselves when I'm fucking you.
Right, baby, get ready.
What the fuck is this shit onmy tongue?
You and me, we're going fishingin the dark.
You lie on your back.
Let me lick your ass realquickly, slow.
(33:27):
I'll cream like a river in thefull moonlight.
You'll be moaning and a-honingin all the night.
Just move and eat.
Let's go Honing in all thenight.
Just moving in, let's go.
Staying all night through.
I'm not wasting any of thisnight With you and me.
(33:51):
We're gonna fishing in yourpussy.
In your pussy I'm sticking mypenis in.
You're gonna blow, god damn,that pussy tight, lickety,
splickety, stick in my dog.
I'll feed your ass.
I'll lick your bum.
It's probably cleaner anyway.
You and me go fishing in thatpuss.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Gonna get it all nice , wet and juicy and I can't wait
to fuck you later, bitch.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
You make me a river in a cold moonlight.
I can't wait to bend you over.
Fuck you right.
You get this dick First of all.
If you're gonna tell me I ain'tgetting no pussy after I ate
that dirty snatch, you'refucking crazy.
Speaker 9 (34:46):
Yo, what's up?
Welcome back to the BestFreaking Podcast.
It's Every Day with Jon and Jaybaby.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Listen, you don't keep listening.
I'm coming over to your houseand licking your wife's asshole,
sticking my tongue up on thedirt button.
Speaker 9 (35:04):
You got that motherfucker.
Now check it out welcome back.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Hope you enjoyed that fucking podge podge of shitness
, that chaotic chaosnessnessness.
Yes, and I tell you what, ifthat teaches you anything ladies
, clean that snizz, that is yourbiz.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
All right, that is your biz.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
It should not smell like fish or whiz.
You got to get down there andclean your snizz.
I like that so I can jizz, so Ican jizz, yes, okay, so as we
get into the second half of thismotherfucker, oh, oh yeah, go
ahead, dude.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
What's up?
So I I told you the other day Iwas watching felix the cat the
movie.
Yeah, horrible, it's a horrible.
I loved it as a kid, and I knowI don't.
I asked you if you ever watchedit as a kid.
I don't think you did.
Did you ever watch that as akid?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
uh, felix the cat I did not okay oh yes, I guess I
did yes, okay, if you've everseen felix the cat.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
What was the other one was it?
Was it a perverted?
Was it perverted?
Wasn't there wasn't felix thecat, kind of perverted and gross
you know, he tried to makejokes and they just never land
oh, okay, because I watchedanother one that was like it was
fits the cat, fits the cat.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
You remember that it was Fitz the Cat, fitz the Cat,
you remember that?
Yeah, it was really nasty, yeah, okay, so we had two different
movies that were on Twodifferent things, yeah.
Mine was more like deprived.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
I'll play a clip real quick from the movie.
It's bad, but I loved it as akid.
For some reason, I'll just playthe trailer.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Fuck it, he's the dreamer who charmed the world,
the hero who never gave up, theclown who became one of the most
beloved characters in animatedhistory.
And now Felix is a major motionpicture.
Speaker 11 (36:59):
The cat is back.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, the cat that made a clock.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Yeah, he made a clock .
Let me try to find a clip here.
Speaker 7 (37:11):
Okay, maybe this.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So the shitty cool world.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Look how bad the animation is.
Speaker 11 (37:20):
I always thought Felix should be on the stage,
the first stage out of town.
It's like shitty cool world.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Look how bad the animation is so bad I'm not
going to play this whole thing.
This is like if Power Rangerswere animated.
What year is this movie?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
though 1985, I think.
What year is this movie though?
1985, I think I don't believe Isaid that.
So anyway, my whole point isthat there's a song the
soundtrack is actually okaythere's a song that's been stuck
in my head and it's sodeliciously 80s, and I'm not
talking like good 80s, like sodeliciously bad, it's good 80s.
Which one is?
Is it Dude?
I don't know.
(38:00):
So this is like the villainentry, like.
So the main villain is thisDarth Vader fucking wannabe.
He's called the Duke of Zild,he's like the uncle of the
princess of this neighboringkingdom.
So his introduction to themovie was this just fucking song
, and it's so deliciously 80sthis is like porn music from the
(38:29):
80s.
It's so bad I, I love it, thetwo girls, still, of course, the
.
You know what this sounds likewhat's that?
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Dude?
This sounds like David Bowie'sfucking song.
It does.
From Inglourious Bastards.
Yes, yes, gasoline, hey dude,yo Pull Up Gasoline.
By David Bowie Dude fromInglourious Bastards.
It sounds just like, yeah,bowie dude from Inglourious
Bastards.
It sounds just like, yeah,putting out fire.
(39:05):
Yep, you're right and you'llhear it.
This is from InglouriousBastards.
When she's getting ready forthe Nazi party at the theater.
Speaker 5 (39:27):
And I like how it's called Cat People.
Speaker 11 (39:30):
I'm so green.
Speaker 4 (39:36):
I can stare for a thousand years.
Speaker 7 (39:44):
Colder than the moon.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Glenn Tarantino was genius putting this in there.
Dude, it's such a good song.
I mean obviously way past thattime.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
Yeah, and I've been putting out fire.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
With gasoline.
With gasoline.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Oh my God, it does.
Holy shit.
You're right, dude.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
See these eyes so red Dude it's wow, red, like jungle
, burning bright, dude, dude,it's Wow.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Dude, he's got the same melody.
Yeah, dude, that's crazy.
Duke of Zillow, of course, dude.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
That's fucking crazy, that's what I thought of when
you were showing it to me orshowing it to everybody.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yeah, so in the movie he introduced, like that's how
the villains introduced withthis really really fucking
crappy 80s song.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
I love that shit.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
I love it, though.
The more cheese, the better.
It was cheesy, I love it,though.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
That's all I know I'm more cheese the better.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
It was cheesy, I love it and it's just dude it's.
It's so good and it's like Iwant because my brother put it
on our movie server.
I'm like oh, felix the cat, themovie.
I haven't watched this in like30 years and I watched it like
man this.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
This was so much better than a hidden gem, dude.
And nobody talks about thebrave little toaster.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Nobody talks about that fucking movie, dude.
Justin put that on our servertoo.
I've been meaning to watch thatas well.
That movie is awesome.
That is a movie nobody reallytalks about.
There's some scary fuckingparts of that movie, dude.
There is, dude, the part wherehe jumps and he saves the master
and he gets crunched up in thefucking gears.
Dude, that's scary.
That was fucked up.
(41:42):
Sad as fuck.
And when the air conditionergoes fucking short circuits and
shit.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Or when kirby eats his own fucking cord oh, there's
so many fucking parts like that, a lot of product placement in
there.
Kirby, yeah, kirby yeah.
I remember we had one of thosefucking things.
Six, eighteen hundred.
Oh, did it the lamp?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
did the lamp get electrocuted?
His bulb fucking burns out orgets popped out and shit.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
Then he got brought back as the Pixar.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Disney gave him a job as the Pixar.
He was out of work for a while.
Wow, you know what?
I never made that connection,and I'm glad you did.
Pixar was his grandkid.
Oh, okay, okay, I gotcha.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Made a bunch of nightlights and they grew up to
be lamps.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
You're worthless.
The song where, like, all thecars are getting compacted and
shit.
At the end, yeah, it's like ohman, there's so much crazy shit
in this movie.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
So, on another note, sarah and I watched a movie
together.
Okay, if you want to look upthe trailer for Mousetrap,
mousetrap the Mousetrap, is thisan 80s movie?
No, it is a 24 movie.
Speaker 10 (42:57):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
It's the Mickey Mouse one, oh shit, oh okay, it's the
mickey mouse one, oh shit, anduh.
Yeah, we watched that the othernight and it was actually.
I didn't think it was too bad.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
the ending kind of sucked oh because, is it mickey
mouse technically in the publicdomain?
Speaker 1 (43:13):
yes, and what's funny is okay.
The beginning sequence of themouse trap is hilarious because
they do the Star Wars fuckinglettering and it says we are in
no way shape or form involvedwith any Disney products.
We love Disney.
We really, really, really dolove Disney.
We would never, ever, everimpose on Disney None, I swear.
(43:37):
None of these things are withDisney.
And it keeps going and it goes.
Also, the scrolling text is inno way shape or form involved
with star wars dude, it is,that's hilarious.
Good, yeah, after this you wantto play that beginning part?
Speaker 11 (43:54):
these are the best party that we can throw the
acting again has to be horrible.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
I can already tell within 10 seconds of this
trailer.
Speaker 10 (44:08):
There's blood all over the jungle gym Blood.
Speaker 5 (44:12):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (44:14):
Acting.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Acting.
Speaker 7 (44:18):
I think they got.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Steamboat Willie.
They do.
They play Steamboat Willie onCarcino acting.
Haha, I think that's Steve OWillie.
They do they play Steve OWillie.
I don't like Steve O.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Willie guys, because that's that's what's, it's the
public domain, technically right, yeah, is that is this.
Speaker 10 (44:37):
Yeah, he's like completely in love with me
already.
It's totally disgusting.
Put the phone down.
Put the phone down, please.
Speaker 7 (44:44):
I was like dude, I've already started.
No, no Turn around, please, jen.
Speaker 9 (44:48):
No, no, oh, oh, die bitch oh oh, fanny's dead.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
What, Like if he was in a horror movie, he'd never
say I'll be right back.
So they're self-aware, so it isa horror movie.
Speaker 5 (45:27):
Where the hell did he go.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
I think he's Freddy Krueger or something.
Dude, I love it I thought itwas okay.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
It wasn't the best movie.
It got 2.5 out of 10.
I could see why, 19% RottenTomatoes 1 out of 5.
Dude, see if you can find thebeginning scroll.
The best movie.
It got 2.5 out of 10.
I could see why.
19% Rotten Tomatoes, 1 out of 5.
Dude, see if you can find thebeginning scroll of this movie,
like the scrolling letters ofthis movie.
See if it'll show it.
Yes, yes, it'll hear in asecond, it'll do the fucking, I
(46:00):
think.
Does it show in the preview anyof the scrolling letters?
Maybe it was at the very, verybeginning?
Yeah, it might be in the very,very beginning.
I think it's going to show theintro letters.
(46:20):
I think I'm going to show theintro letters.
God, that sucks, because, dude,it was funnier than hell.
(46:46):
Let me see, that's fucking greatbut uh, god, that sucks it's
almost like space balls soanother, another movie that
we're going to be watching.
It's called benny loves you.
Oh man, dude, you're gonna lovethis one dude.
(47:07):
Oh my god, I cannot wait.
I got this on our on our list.
What, yes, what, yes, dude,what is this?
Speaker 9 (47:20):
the bear, he'll kill you all wait, have we seen this
already?
Speaker 3 (47:26):
this is like a muppet , like murder movie or something
.
No, that's not happy time.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Oh, that's happy okay this is a horror movie.
This is benny with an almolooking just for you.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
As long as you have him by your side, nothing can
ever hurt you not even a demon'sthe hallway.
Speaker 9 (47:43):
Apart from them.
Speaker 11 (47:49):
My story begins when I turn 35.
Jack, the company wantforeclosure on the loan.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Repossess your house.
I have to get this finished.
Lots of people are sayingyou're already finished.
Speaker 11 (48:02):
If you bought this tape, you're a loser.
It's time to let go of the past.
Do not fear change.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Embrace it.
Oh, oh shit, oh shit, holy fuckdude, that is frightening 79
(49:19):
rotten tomatoes on that onereally dude.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
5.6 out of 10 imdb I love that yes, okay.
So here's another one, but it'snot a movie okay this is a show
we've been watching I knowyou're not huge on it's always
sunny.
It has nothing to do withalways, it's always sunny
besides the guy from it's alwayssunny, it's in it.
Okay, it's called ap bio.
(49:42):
Oh my god, okay, so let me fillyou in okay he's a harvard
philosophy philosophy professor,okay, who got ousted by another
philosophy guy and he hates himand he's pissed.
He's forced to teach in toledo,ohio, what he fucking hates it.
(50:04):
No joke, they go to a walleyegame.
They show the walleye on there.
Yeah, he goes.
Toledo is the scum of the earth.
He's pretty much talked shitabout Toledo the whole time.
Patton Oswalt is the principalof this high school.
Okay, and it's funny, dude.
Amazing show, dude.
I mean you could point onwhatever one you want, dude.
(50:27):
I've with sarah and I've beenwatching this and I don't know
it got canceled after fourseasons, so I don't know what
the fuck happened okay hilarious.
It's got a school of rock meetsfucking.
It's always sunny, I guess, Idon't know because it's got
glenn howardton in it.
Speaker 8 (50:47):
You almost killed me.
What are you doing?
So sorry?
Let me show you something.
Whoa, whoa, where are you going?
Alright, everybody, let's goahead and start to shut up now.
My name's Jack Griffin and Idon't want to be here.
I'm living in my dead mom'sapartment while teaching
advanced placement biology.
I am an award-winningphilosophy scholar, but here's
(51:09):
the deal we're not going to doany biology in here.
Are you seriously never goingto teach us biology at all?
Maybe Pablo Picasso can come inand teach driver's ed.
This week, we are devoting ourattention to the psychological
dismantling of my academic rival, miles Leonard.
Miles happens to be British.
He also happens to be adopted,so this week we will practice
British accents and whosoever isbest will call him, posing as
(51:32):
his biological birth mother, andtell him some sort of
devastating secret.
Go.
Speaker 5 (51:37):
The bookstore at the mall has good espresso milord,
hey, not bad.
What is this class?
Speaker 7 (51:43):
Hey, where are you going, my lord, hey, not bad.
Speaker 11 (51:46):
What is this class?
Hey, where are you going?
Speaker 8 (51:48):
You can't leave these students unattended.
These kids are old enough toget pregnant.
They can't be alone for twoseconds.
That's literally the reasonthey shouldn't be left alone.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
It's Jack, right From Harvard.
Speaker 8 (51:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
Harvard Jack, so it seems like you're enjoying
yourself here.
Speaker 8 (52:01):
God no Teaching high school in toledo why have I not
heard of this?
Speaker 1 (52:09):
dude, it's on it's on netflix.
Speaker 3 (52:11):
This was on abnbc, it's on netflix now.
I mean yeah, yeah dude, that'scrazy.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
um, no joke, sarah and I've been watching it.
We're still in the first season.
No, when I get home, that'swhat we're doing.
Um, dude, okay, so every day isa whole new.
It's like it's always something.
Every day is a new episode,okay, so every day he's got a
new agenda he puts on the boardand he's drawing stick figures
and all this other shit.
Like, first, we're going to dothis, like the one we just
(52:36):
watched a little bit ago.
He's living in his deadmother's house, okay, and it's
all filled with Jesus shit.
Oh man, virgin Mary's everywhereand all that stuff.
He finds out that she donatedthis Virgin Mary to a statue, or
$10,000 to this church forVirgin Mary statue, and he goes
that statue is mine, we're goingto steal it.
(53:00):
So he gets the driver's ed car,cause he doesn't have a car.
Yeah and uh, it becomes thedriver's ed instructor just to
get the car.
Pat oswald's like okay, hereyou go.
And he takes three students outof his class they go, steal
they steal it.
And he's sitting at home andhe's fucking eating food and he
looks up and he's like, yeah,you know what I'm talking about,
(53:22):
don't you?
And he looks over at the virginmary picture and he's like,
yeah, and then nothing.
Like dude, it's funnier now.
So nuns, come in to the schoolbecause they saw the fucking
driver's head car take off yeahnuns come into school and they
float by the door oh shit, it'sscary he goes you think they saw
(53:43):
me and he speaks out the doorand the one nun goes and then,
like they're checking everything, he just like they got him
breaking down he decides to giveit back because they found a
retainer from one of the kidsand they're going one by one
through each kid.
So if they find this kid it's,the jig is up.
(54:05):
So, dude, it is amazing.
So if you want something tolike for you and your wife to
watch, or whatever dude, funnierthan a fuck dude you're
checking out, bro, that I I likethat.
Speaker 3 (54:21):
That's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
God, dude, it does have like reoccurring roles,
like there's Patton Oswalt.
Patton Oswalt's a goober in it.
Dude, it's funny becausethere's one part he goes he's
got like a little keyboard.
He's principal, so he's got akeyboard in his little office,
yeah, and they come over to himand they give him some bad news
(54:46):
I can't remember what it is andhe goes over to the piano and he
goes dun, dun, I'm like he'sall happy Sarah and I bust out
laughing, but he becomes one ofToledo's most sought after
bachelors.
like number eight on the list ofa hundred.
Speaker 3 (54:59):
Which one's this Best moments from season one.
Speaker 8 (55:05):
I can't, I can't, damn it, sarika.
Speaker 1 (55:10):
He picks on that kid all the time.
Speaker 8 (55:16):
I do not care about biology.
We're not going to do anybiology in here.
Let's go toss them guys.
This won't be one of thosethings where, over the course of
a year, I secretly teach it toyou Stop writing that down,
don't write that down.
It won't be one of those thingswhere I end up learning more
from you than you do from me.
I know more than all of youcombined, so that doesn't make
(55:36):
any sense.
Welcome to AP Bio.
Speaker 2 (55:39):
This is Jack right From Harvard.
Yeah, Ooh, Harvard Jack.
All right well have you beenout on any dates lately?
Speaker 8 (55:46):
Funny, you should ask .
I've actually got firm plans tobang my high school ex as hard
as I can tonight so he's gonnabang her as hard as he can
tonight, not regular hard,aggressively hard.
Speaker 2 (55:58):
So it seems like you're enjoying yourself here.
God, no, I'm not.
Speaker 8 (56:05):
I went in high school in Toledo.
Sweet bizarre car you gonna beokay, not with that name on it
no Ah.
How'd you know?
I didn't.
I didn't Hand to God, I did notknow.
Oh man, I could really, Icoulda really hurt you Woo.
Oh man, all right, I could getarrested for something like that
.
Dude.
(56:27):
Shut up immediately, quicklyfinish shutting up everybody.
All right guys.
Great update.
No, you only care aboutyourself, jack.
Technically, deep down, we allonly care about ourselves.
Psychological egoism.
Well, you know what I happen tocare about this school.
Speaker 9 (56:48):
But yeah, you don't respect that and frankly, I
don't think you respect me.
Oh, come on, ralph, you know wecool?
Speaker 8 (56:54):
No, I don't do that Are we cool, are we cool?
It's not like I don't know whatyou guys are thinking.
Anyway, Anthony's over there.
Like I'm judging Anthony, youknow Victor's sitting there,
like.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
I think this may have gotten out of hand, Mr Griffin
I think it has, at the risk ofbeing a permanent virgin.
Speaker 8 (57:13):
don't you think you should come clean and tell Miles
it wasn't Devin's fault andSarika's like?
Speaker 9 (57:16):
I think I speak on behalf of all the nerds in the
whole wide world and I sayyou're a bad guy.
Mr Griffin.
Sarika's right, as usual.
Speaker 8 (57:23):
Jack, take it easy.
Oh, go easy, let's go.
Everybody go easy, you know?
No, I'm sorry, ralph, but I'mtrying to play the game.
Isn't that why we're here, toplay the game?
All right, you know what?
You guys are just jealousbecause I'm going to bring you
back.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
We're on that episode right now.
Speaker 8 (57:46):
That's what it stickers out of your buttholes.
This week, we will practice andperfect British accents, and
whosoever is best will call him,posing as his biological birth
mother, who he's never met, andtell him some sort of
devastating secret.
Focus on taking down the milesdisplay.
You will infiltrate the storeby getting jobs there and
(58:06):
changing the staff pick, therebygiving me some.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
Is this every week?
Yes, with these cocky babies.
Yes, every episode.
So I wasn't able to hitEggleston, but.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
Dude that's fucking hilarious.
He has all these cocky babiesfucking ideas.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
They look like James Bond.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
It's so funny.
I love the illustrations of theBlackboard Dude.
Speaker 1 (58:25):
he does this every week, every time he makes one of
the kids pretend to be his kid,to devastate him because he's
like and then the guy's like ohmy son, I can't believe it.
Blah, blah, blah.
So he ends up hanging out withhim at a walleye game.
Dude, that's where you see thewalleye Okay.
Yeah, they dude, that's whereyou see the wall.
(58:47):
Okay, yeah, they talk about thetoledo zoo and everything else.
Dude, I love the like placement.
They did film a little bit intoledo, which is kind of cool.
That's sweet, that's so funnydude I'm not kidding dude, the
show is so good, so good and, ifyou like, if you, if you do end
up liking him okay he acts alot like his character in it's
always sunny I'm not gonna liedude yeah, he acts just like um
(59:10):
dennis reynolds and then fucking.
Speaker 3 (59:12):
It's always the first comment.
Speaker 1 (59:13):
Jack griffin is just dennis reynolds from another
universe who's allowed to eatapple skin oh, that's right,
dude, okay, so if you want tosee that dude, look up fucking
Dennis, dennis.
Not allowed to eat apple skins,dude.
And then I'm not kidding, heflips out.
I'm not allowed to eat themwith the skin on it, I'm not
(59:34):
allowed Right here.
Oh, my God, oh, do me a favor.
Speaker 8 (59:38):
Peel this apple for me.
Please Watch this.
Speaker 9 (59:40):
No, no, I'm not going to peel an apple for you.
Speaker 8 (59:43):
But Mac always does it for me.
Why does Mac peel your applesfor you?
He doesn't like for me to eatthe apples with the skin on it.
He says the skin's loaded withtoxins.
Okay, well, good news, mac'snot here, I know he's not here,
and that's why I need you to doit for me, Please, please, oh
Jesus.
Speaker 9 (59:59):
Just eat it with the skin.
I'm not allowed.
I'm not allowed.
If you just shut up, I willpeel the apple for you the way
that Mac likes you to eat it.
Give it to me, give it to me,I'll do it the way that Mac
insists.
Okay, I'm not allowed.
Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
I'm not kidding, dude .
Some of the shit, okay, so likejust a prerequisite on that,
Our Mac and Dennis were ourroomies and they're really close
.
Mac becomes gay.
So he hits on Dennis and Dennisis like no dude, I'm not gay,
leave me alone.
But the roomies in this episodethey end up breaking up because
D, his sister, is like do youever think that it's weird that
(01:00:38):
you guys can't go an hourwithout saying anything to each
other?
You guys are codependent oneach other and they think about
it and it gets in their headsand they're like break up.
So he ends up living with Deeand then right after this part,
charlie comes in and Dennis isall excited because he's got
somebody to hang out with.
He's like Charlie's in thehouse, charlie's in the house.
(01:00:59):
They start dancing toward eachother and he's like, hey, you
want an apple with no skin.
He's like, yeah, sure, I'lltake an apple.
And he goes d one more appleskinless.
And she goes you make your owngoddamn apple, charlie.
Some of this shit's so good,dude, I'm not allowed to have it
.
Dude, it's so good I'm notallowed to have it with the skin
on.
(01:01:19):
I'm not allowed.
I'm not allowed dennis like, ifyou watch the show, dennis would
be your favorite, because he isa skit, he's a psycho and
there's a part where he driveshis Range Rover.
Oh dude, do me a solid Look up,dennis Rain flipping out on
(01:01:39):
Range Rover.
Flip out, oh my.
God dude Yep, there it is.
Watch this, this is great.
Speaker 8 (01:01:49):
Bob, I want to thank you for answering my ad so
quickly.
Speaker 11 (01:01:51):
Well, I really needed a car, and I always
wanted a.
Speaker 8 (01:01:53):
Range Rover, yeah Well, hey, I got to tell you,
though, it's not just a car,this is a lifestyle.
This is an Eddie Bauer editiontortoise shell interior,
supercharged, twin cam, europeanluxury sports utility vehicle.
My friend, wow, yeah, it's aclassic.
Okay, the only reason I'mgiving her up is because I'm
ready to turn a page, thinkingabout getting out for romeo.
What do you think?
Two seats me and a babe likebabes.
(01:02:15):
Bob, oh, yeah, sure, yeah, whodoesn't like babes?
Yeah, yeah, it's a wonderfulmachine.
I used it to traverse theplains of the serengeti of my
life.
Now I want that for you, bob.
Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
That's a great sales pitch right, I'm sorry, are you?
Speaker 6 (01:02:31):
talking about the car in the river.
Speaker 8 (01:02:33):
Yeah, Well, it's an amphibious exploring vehicle, so
what?
You think you can pull it outof the river?
No, no, what fun would that be?
Right, that's not my job,that's your job.
I don't want to take that fromyou.
You're gonna love it, yeah,right, but I just I didn't bring
a change of clothes or anything.
That's not really my fault, isit?
You know, I gotta say your lineof questioning's starting to
annoy me.
(01:02:53):
Oh no, I'm sorry, I just.
You know, I thought I was gonna.
The car has spoken.
I have spoken.
You obviously don't get what'shappening here, so be gone with
you, alright.
Alright, there's that anchorcoming up again, getting weird
and arched.
There's another one.
Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
Another guy comes up and he's like oh, it's a Phoebus
vehicle.
He's like oh great.
Speaker 8 (01:03:17):
I'm cool as a cucumber.
It's all good.
Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
He's trying to be calm like keep his pressure down
, but he loses his shit.
This is the best part righthere, excuse me, hi.
Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
You guys selling the car oh yeah, yes, hi, hi, yeah,
I might like to buy it.
What do you want for it?
Speaker 8 (01:03:39):
Well, I was thinking somewhere in the ballpark of the
original price, but consideringthe circumstances I'm open to a
reasonable discussion, Allright, I mean it is an
amphibious exploring vehicle, soit should be fine, right.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
It's nice to talk to areasonable man.
Now you're a sportsman becauseyou look very fit.
(01:04:00):
Oh, I ski, you ski.
Oh, excellent, love skiing.
Yeah, do you travel a lot Forwork?
Speaker 3 (01:04:06):
yeah, europe, eastern Europe, all over, really, and I
assume you'll be taking the carwith you on these trips, me.
Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm lookingfor something for my daughter.
Your daughter.
Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
You see her change.
Speaker 7 (01:04:28):
Safe slow vehicle Starter car Starter.
Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Car Starter car he's fucking flipping right now.
Speaker 8 (01:04:34):
I have contained my rage for as long as possible,
but I shall unleash my fury uponyou like the crashing of a
thousand waves.
Speaker 9 (01:04:43):
Be gone, vile man.
Be gone from me.
A starter car, this car is afinisher car, a transporter of
gods, the golden god.
I am untethered and my rageknows no bounds.
Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
What a weirdo.
He is nuts, he is nuts.
And there's a part where theygo to a fucking high school
reunion.
He calls himself the golden godand he goes.
You were just weird.
You called yourself the goldengod and you referred to us as
all your minions and shit.
Dude like he's pretends he'shigh and mighty and everybody
else is a piece of shit dennisreynolds is amazing and I
(01:05:22):
learned to appreciate him a lotmore watching these shows.
Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
It's a finisher car.
Be gone, my old man.
Be gone, my old man.
That is funny, dennis.
Reynolds, I think you wouldlove him, dude, but with that
said, we are out of time for theday.
Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to soak up that last half
hour.
Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
It's okay, it's all good, dude, you know what?
Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
By showing you AP Bio and hopefully you get to watch
that dude.
Oh my God, dude, it's so funny.
Yeah, Dude, that does look good.
I just listened to it, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
so, with that said, thanks for everybody for
listening all across the world.
You can catch us on Spotify,apple Music, amazon.
Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Especially Tony, because he always answers all of
our questions.
Yeah appreciate you, bud, and Ihope you enjoyed skittles, yeah
, last week I love skittles mandude, I want to make a whole
album of we should, skittles do.
Speaker 3 (01:06:14):
We should, I tell you what here?
Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
I want to know if we made a whole skittles album,
would anybody be interested inhaving it?
What would be funny is if wedid it and we put it on amazon
yeah, and just have peoplelisten to listen to it.
Speaker 3 (01:06:29):
Yeah, yeah, dude, that'd be so fucking epic.
Uh.
Any other departing wordsbefore we leave the sea vidig uh
, no, I uh.
Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
I would just like to say, like john said, thank you
everybody for listening.
Hope you guys got someinformative things, especially
if you're into metal music anduh, movies and video and stuff.
Um, so do we just, I don't knowwe love doing this is so much
easier to talk yeah, doing thisformat.
Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
Yeah, so you get a little bit of everything from us
.
You get a little life updates,you get a little perspective on
our on cultures did you ever,dude?
Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
I was thinking, man, and this is just popped in my
head and you know I haven't saidanything remotely horrible in a
while.
Okay, and I'm just kind ofwondering do you think there
were any Negro Jews that wereput into the gas chambers, or do
you think they thought theywere cooked already?
Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
Like they were like already, they're just pre-cooked
.
We left this one in too longalready.
Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
This is like a chicken tender.
We left in the air fryer toolong, so, uh, this one's good,
so what?
Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
what if he wasn't done all?
The way, and then like oh well,oh nope, put it back in.
It's a little raw still see thewhites still see the whites of
his tongue.
God people people talk aboutpeople, talk about people uh,
(01:07:52):
with that said, we're gonnaleave you this evening just run
it together right at the endyeah, fuck all
Speaker 9 (01:08:00):
you call you.
Speaker 7 (01:08:05):
We appreciate everybody and if you're.
Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
If you were here after that one, then you are
awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
So well, if you're after that one, you got like 10
seconds and then you're fuckinggood to go, yeah you're good to
go, so we'll see.
Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
On the next rip, I'm john brittner and I'm jason.
See you later.
Later, guys.
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