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It’s not you - it’s your family system.
But it’s you, too. It’s time to talk about the necessity of weaning off external validation and learning to live a life aligned with one’s true self.
To heal, you need to do two things—learn to be okay with disappointing people and leave home emotionally. The rage that’s been building for all this time is ready to be released, and now you have to learn to live with it. All I can tell you is that your hurt, anger, and resentment hurt you, and you put way too much value in the people who raised you.
After this realization, loneliness will shine through, but you have to embrace it. If you need to find a surrogate family somewhere with somebody who'll better mirror you, do it. You must start living your life your way and find the places important to you.
Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions? Do they not like me? What's it going to be like when I show up? How are they going to guilt me and shame me? Then, you need to get a handle on those emotions of shame and guilt and start cutting emotional ties with toxic family systems.
It’s time to work through the impacts of generational trauma and learn the importance of developing self-love and independence. It’s time to achieve a fulfilled and authentic life built for you.
00:00 Introduction to Hard Truths of Recovery
00:21 Dealing with Family and Emotional Separation
05:17 Understanding and Managing Anger
08:04 The Loneliness of Recovery
08:55 Breaking Free from Family Expectations
15:41 Investing in Yourself
25:06 Conclusion and Personal Reflections
Host: Joe Ryan
Producer: Shelby Buckler
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Dateline NBC
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!