A Fast Pass To Heaven (Terms and Conditions Apply)

Ancient Aliens loves to portray angels not as divine messengers, but as heavenly soldiers armed with advanced weaponry, turning biblical stories into "battle reports" of alien soldiers. But this isn't just a weird sci-fi twist; it taps into a much older, darker tradition. We trace the long, strange history of how Christianity, a religion born from oppressed people, was transformed into a tool for imperial conquest. It's a journey that starts with a Roman emperor seeing a cross in the sky and hearing the words "by this sign, conquer," leads directly to the Crusades, and helps justify centuries of colonization. Finally, we explore how this ancient ideology of holy war echoes in the chants of the modern far-right and gets a secular facelift in the pseudo-history of warrior aliens. 

Stuff mentioned in the episode:

• Tom Lehrer
• "Wernher von Braun" song by Tom Lehrer
• The Bible, Annotated Beyond All Possible Usefulness by Zach Weinersmith
• Emperor Constantine
• Battle of the Milvian Bridge
• Chi-Rho symbol
• Council of Clermont
• Pope Urban II's call for the First Crusade
• Dum Diversus (1452)
• Doctrine of Discovery
• Liberation Theology
• The Art of Not Being Governed by James C. Scott
• José's video on Tucker Carlson and UFO documentaries

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Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube

Scott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch

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