Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
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(00:23):
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(00:46):
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Speaker 2 (01:12):
Hey, hey, hey.
You are now tuned in to theit's the Human Experience
podcast.
I'm your host, hazel Brown.
Today we're jumping into somethings.
We're talking about community,autonomy, self-worth.
I am a growth coach.
I'm an empowerment coach.
I create events for go-gettersthat are trying to grow into
(01:35):
their highest self withcommunity, with people around
them that really care about whothey are.
At core, there's somecommonality in the community to
where we are all authentic,heart-centered and really
betting on ourselves and eachother to win.
Before I start the episode, Iwanted to jump into the
(01:55):
definition of community, right?
So it's a group of peopleliving in the same place or
having a particularcharacteristic in common, and
then diving deeper into that,it's a feeling of fellowship
with others as a result ofsharing a common interest,
attitude, goals or what have you.
So this had me thinking.
(02:17):
It had me thinking like is itmore important to be in a space
where you're around people thatknow of you because they grew up
with you, they understand whoyou are based on your past, or
is it more important to bearound people who understand who
(02:39):
you are today and where you'regoing?
So it really had me really deepin thought, because it's
something I hadn't thought aboutbefore.
Right, I was thinking to myselfover time that in developing
community, I needed community ofhaving friends, family members,
people who have known methrough the years.
Right, and I think that reallycame up to play because of the
(03:03):
passing of my mom.
If you don't know, go back toepisode two.
I have a tribute to my mom.
Lessons from my Mother is whatthe episode is called.
But I really felt like afterlosing my mom, that the
connection to family and friendswas very important, because she
was my best friend, she was myfamily, she was my world, she
(03:24):
was my everything.
Because she was my best friend,she was my family, she was my
world, she was my everything.
And so, in thinking through howimportant it is to make sure you
have people around you thatreally care about you, it
automatically unfolds that maybethose people are family, maybe
those people are friends,long-term friends or what have
you.
But then it had me thinkingthat maybe those people are
(03:45):
people that share commoninterests with you, have the
same attitudes towards life andgoals as you do.
In terms of creating thatcommunity, it doesn't
necessarily have to be family,it doesn't necessarily have to
be long-term friends, and so Iwanted to preface with that so
that you could kind ofunderstand the mindset of this
(04:06):
episode.
And so having people around youthat truly understand you
really is goal, because it's sofunny how people say, like you
don't know me, but then otherpeople are like, well, I know
you.
And it's like, wait, hold on.
How can you say that you knowsomeone simply because you know
(04:27):
their temperament, you kind ofhave an understanding of some of
their likes and their dislikes,but you don't understand their
essence, who they are at core,their values, who they stand for
, what they stand for, thethings that are important to
them at core.
And so, without thatrelatability, you don't
(04:48):
necessarily know a person.
You know, oh, maybe they don'tlike talking about this, they
don't like going to this place,they don't like wearing this,
you know, or whatever the case,they don't like wasting time on
this or whatever the case may be, but you don't really
understand, like, thefoundational values that that
person has, and so, therefore,that commonality in terms of
(05:11):
interest, goals and justattitudes towards life is not
shared.
And so it was just like, oh, mygoodness, when I came to this
realization, I'm like, let'stalk about it, because I'm the
kind of person that trulydislikes being boxed in.
I don't like societalexpectations boxed in the end,
when you really think about it,if you are conforming to
(05:32):
society's expectations and whatother people are doing with
their lives, you are not livingout your true potential.
You're not unlocking thatpotential.
You're concerned with whatother people are thinking about
it, and the more that that is athing is, the more you move away
from who you are at heart andwho you're destined to be.
So in today's episode, we'regoing to push past surface level
(05:57):
in terms of how we explore lifeand really make sure that we're
changing lanes in a way thatshapes us into becoming the kind
of person that we're reallylooking to become.
If it's your first time tuninginto the podcast, go ahead and
scroll up to the top and hitthat follow button.
When you're done listening tothe episode, be sure to leave us
a comment so I can hear yourgreatest takeaways, but I'm
(06:19):
going to go ahead and jump rightback into the episode.
So, whether you're coming froma standpoint of like maybe
you've shipped careers, maybemotherhood, maybe relationships,
personal growth just kind ofunderstanding that those things
can either shake you.
They can strengthen you when itcomes to your self-worth and
the way that you move forwardwith going after your goals and
(06:42):
just feeling like you'redeserving of living the life
that you know you're deservingof living, because you know deep
down you're deserving of livingthat life.
And so some of the frustratingthings I feel like that really
minimizes our struggles orconcerns is when we're sharing
things with other people andthey may say things like oh,
(07:07):
it's going to be okay, it'sprobably not that bad.
And I feel like when people saythings like that, it's like
their way of trying to make youfeel not so bad about what
you're going through.
But in that moment you'reprobably just venting.
You just need to be able toshowcase what you're feeling,
and I think that people don'tunderstand how hard it is for
(07:29):
people to even open up and speakto someone else about their
struggles, about their concern.
And I just think it's soimportant for us to claim and
celebrate our uniqueness.
I don't think that we have todim other people's situations,
their light or what they'reexperiencing to make it feel
(07:54):
like something we can actuallydigest.
We should be able to hearsomeone out and just understand
that that's their truth and howthey're feeling, and not try to
get them to see things fromanother lens.
It's not okay for someone to bestuck in a mindset that's very
fixed or one that doesn't allowthem to grow and develop, while
(08:18):
at the same time, it's like soimportant that you're not over
here, like oh my God, hazel, Ithink that you should paint your
nails every three days, becauseI do it Like nah, I'm cool with
doing it every two weeks, likewho is to say that one person's
way's better than the nextperson?
(08:38):
Now, don't get me wrong.
If the person's toenails aregrowing out like rapidly, then
maybe we should right.
But if we're just doing thingsfor circumstance sake, because
of another person doing it oneway, we need to get to a point
where we can really celebrateour own uniqueness, because that
(08:58):
constant push towardsconformity instead of just
honoring your individuality,that is like not it Like very
suffocating, very stuck in a box, very crabs in a bucket, like
it's not cool.
We need to make sure that werealize that our strongest
desire is to break down societaltrends, barriers, and to really
(09:22):
elevate ourselves and be freeso that we can be the person
that we know we're destined tobe.
You have to reclaim yourautonomy and, knowing that you
get to make decisions about yourlife.
You get to live a life in theway that you want to live it,
because on judgment day, it ishow you chose to live your life.
You can't go back and be likeGod, but such and such that I
(09:45):
should be doing this and that'swhy I started doing this.
But what's in your gut?
What does your instincts tellyou you should do?
What do you feel like is rightfor you?
That is how you move forward,the way that you live your life,
not based on what Susie's doing, what Nancy's doing, what
anybody is doing.
It has to be based on whatmakes sense for you.
(10:07):
Actualize the life you wouldlike to live by analyzing the
way things are happening andunderstanding that the feedback
that you're getting, thecriticism that you're getting,
the positive feedback that youget, whatever noise you're
getting, good or bad you havegot to make sure that you are
tuning that noise out, good orbad, and thinking to yourself is
(10:31):
this the way that I want tolive my life?
Because you can't be a peoplepleaser, you can't be the kind
of person that's like oh well,everyone loves the way I'm
living my life, so I'm going tokeep living it this way, don't
nobody care if they love it,like that's cool, that's nice,
but do you love it If people aresaying, oh my God, like, why do
(10:51):
you live your life like that?
Like don't nobody care?
They're not living your life.
They don't cry to themselves tosleep.
They don't smile when you smile.
I know I talked about that in aprevious episode at some point,
but I always like to use thatas an example because it is so
true.
In your saddest moments, whereare these people?
In your happiest moments, theydon't even understand how happy
(11:13):
you are.
So why are you conforming tothe way that other people think
you should live your life?
You have to reclaim yourconfidence, your self-worth,
autonomy and live life.
Every season is not going to bethe season of harvest.
Every season is not going to bethe season where everything
feels right.
Sometimes things are going tobe uncomfortable.
Sometimes things are not goingto make a lot of sense.
(11:34):
Sometimes things are going tobe cloudy.
Sometimes you're going to befollowing trends that you're
going to have to realize thatyou're following.
That's why journaling is soimportant, so you can recognize
like, ooh, it's a real trendy.
This is not even in line withmy values.
This is not even in line withthe way I want to live my life,
and I want you to really reallythink hard about the way that
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you are living your life.
Does it align to you?
Does it align to the kind ofperson that you know you are at
heart, at core?
Your value system, yourprinciples, the way that you're
living your life Does't align.
(12:15):
You cannot be concerned withwhat anyone else has to say
about the way that you're livingyour life.
When it is time for us to go onup to heaven, up to yonder, you
have got to be able to lookback and know that it was worth
it, know that you've doneeverything that you can to be
(12:36):
able to live a fulfilling life.
It's all about evolvingevolving in your relationship
with self, with self-love, howyou're prioritizing self-care,
how you're empowering yourselfto just be the version of
yourself that you know you areat core.
You're embracing your flaws,you're embracing everything and
(13:00):
you're honoring your truth.
That's where the autonomy comesin.
You're honoring your truth,your self-worth, you're claiming
your confidence and going afterthe life that you know you
should be living, not no oneelse's life.
You're not looking at everybodyelse's lanes.
You're really trying to makesure you understand that, and I
(13:21):
want you to recognize that youmay have to do this multiple
times.
It is not just a one and done.
Sometimes things change.
Your career may change.
Your situation may change.
Your location may change.
Your situation may change.
Your location may change.
Your relationships may change.
Personal growth is just alittle different based on your
season.
Motherhood may be mothering.
(13:41):
Whatever the case may be, I justreally need you to think about
what that looks like for you andmake shifts to live the life
that you know you deserve tolive.
Live the life that you know youdeserve to live.
Give yourself permission totake up space and to rewrite
your self-worth on your terms.
It's time to reclaim theautonomy and step boldly into
(14:05):
your power, free from the limitsof others that the people try
to place on us.
I need you to claim it, I needyou to go after it.
I need you to live your life.
That's why I talk aboutcommunity so much, because, with
community of fellowheart-centered go-getters that
are betting on themselves,they're doing the work, they're
(14:28):
healing, they're rooting for youto win as well.
And you may not always findthat in the community that you
share through family, friendsand loved ones.
When we do, we are blessed tofind it, but most of the times
you have to create thatcommunity for yourself so that
life is worth living, so thatyou can feel like you have
people that get you.
(14:49):
And so don't feel alone, don'tdo the journey alone.
If you happen to be in asituation to where you don't
have a set of family, friends,loved ones who get you, find a
community, go on Meetup, go onEventbrite, come to one of our
events Workplace TherapyExperience.
It is a thing.
(15:10):
We are in Atlanta.
We are in Vegas, in DC.
Listen, if you know of a citythat you want us to come to, let
me know in the comments.
We are all about making surethat you are growing into your
highest self with people who arededicated to helping you see
your self-worth, to helping youwin.
(15:31):
It is our passion, it is whatwe do, because it's in our
hearts to do it.
It's who we are at core.
Our foundational value systemis helping other people embrace
their light, go after theirgoals and live the life that
they're called to live.
Now I need you to bet onyourself.
I need you to do it.
(15:51):
I need you to get out your wayand know that the life that you
want is yours to live.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
We hope you caught
all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online at itst, the human experiencecom, to
keep up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.