What if the very essence of who you are has been muted by the pressure to conform? Step with me, Hazel Brown, into a space where authenticity reigns supreme and learn to navigate life unapologetically on your own terms. This episode is a heartfelt invitation for those, especially women, who find it challenging to maintain their true voice amidst societal expectations. Together, we unpack the vital practice of setting boundaries rooted in your values and discover the liberating power of owning your truth. We'll tackle the notion of being a "good girl" and how it often leads to an inauthentic existence, urging you to shine brightly without fear of discomforting others.
Join our vibrant community as we journey from Las Vegas to Atlanta and DC, fostering meaningful connections that inspire and elevate. We'll share insights on how to cultivate joy, peace, and fulfillment, while learning to say "no" to what doesn't serve you. This episode emphasizes the transformative power of surrounding yourself with people who respect and support your boundaries, nurturing mutual growth and understanding. Stay connected by subscribing and engaging with previous episodes, ensuring you never miss out on the inspiration that fuels our collective growth. Visit our website, itsthehumanexperience.com, and be a part of our ongoing evolution as we embrace authenticity together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience
podcast.
Today I wanted to dive intowhat it really means to live
authentically, unapologeticallyand on your terms.
I'm your host, hazel Brown.
In today's episode, we're goingto talk about something that
every one of us feel andexperience, especially as women.
(01:41):
It's really like the struggleto own your voice and stay true
to who you really are, even ifit gets people upset.
Here's the thing Life isdesigned for you to be able to
set boundaries based on yourvalues and yeah, it's going to
upset some people along the way,but guess what?
Your truth is yourresponsibility.
Staying true to who you are isyour responsibility.
Honoring your truth and livinga life that is meaningful to you
(02:03):
is your responsibility.
And using your voice justmatters.
How you stay grounded in yourauthenticity is using your voice
and making sure that, even whenthe world tries to tell you
otherwise, you honor your truthand you live in a way that makes
(02:24):
sense to you.
I want to dive a little bitdeeper, because there's the
power in using your voice, and Idon't mean just speaking up for
yourself, speaking up forothers, but I'm talking about
speaking your truth and notshrinking to fit in spaces
around you, like how many of youhave found yourself, like at
work with your friends or evenwith your family, biting your
(02:46):
tongue to avoid conflict or tomake people feel a little bit
more comfortable because youdon't want them to feel
uncomfortable.
And in certain instances youhave to be the bigger person,
right?
Sometimes, times when, like youhave that gut feeling and you
feel like you are really losingyourself from honoring someone
(03:10):
else's truth, you can't shrink,you shouldn't shrink right, you
shouldn't shrink to fit intospace, this pressure of being a
quote, unquote good girl toavoid confrontation at all costs
, just to maintain some kind ofharmony, that's going to have
you feeling like we're boxed inthese roles, these titles, this
(03:32):
identity of what a woman shouldbe and that suddenly causes you
to live a life that just doesn'tfeel like you're being true to
yourself.
It's more of a version ofyourself that's easy for other
people to digest and, I'm sorry,I'm not food.
I don't need to be digestible,right, I need you to like me
because of me.
I like you to like me for mysoul, for my values, for the
(03:56):
kind of person I am at heart,like it's my truth, it's my
being, it's who I am Not becauseI've dumbed down myself.
I've dimmed my light right sothat other people can feel like
I'm digestible, like I'm notfood.
I'm gonna need you to go getyou a steak and worry about how
digestible that is Not me.
(04:18):
Like those things, quietly eatat your spirit.
It quietly causes your bloodpressure to rise, right.
It quietly creates stress, andwe know that stress is a killer.
You might feel like there'ssome sense of resentment against
people, a career, yourrelationship, whatever the case
may be.
Because you're building up thatresentment, because you feel
(04:41):
like you're constantlyquestioning your thoughts around
people in a job, in a situation, in your relationship, whatever
the case may be.
Because maybe your opinions,your thoughts, your feelings are
never validated, they're nevervalid to someone else.
It always feels like somethingis wrong with you and you
shouldn't keep yourself insituations, relationships,
(05:03):
careers, places.
That really makes you feel likeyou are not deserving of
honoring your truth and livingthe life.
Because, just to be honestlisten, spoiler alert they are
every single one of yourthoughts, your opinions, your
feelings, the real you.
(05:25):
It's valid.
I want you to honor that.
I want you to validate that inknowing that you are enough for
you to just live boldly byowning your voice, honoring your
truth and being your authenticself.
Here's what I had to learn.
Listen, I'm speaking from myown personal experience.
It's not just about findingyour voice, it's about trusting
(05:49):
it.
It's about knowing this camefrom God.
This is in my spirit.
This is who I am.
Everything about me aligns withthe younger me, before I got
programmed, before peoplestarted telling me this is the
way you should do things.
When I look back, I know thatI'm being so true to my younger
self.
(06:09):
I'm being so true to theevolved version of me Like they
align right.
Some healing occurred inbetween the two and some
evolution occurred in betweenthe two when I think about the
younger me and who I am today.
But I can tell you that this isme.
I'm trusting my voice, I'mowning my voice and I want you
(06:30):
to do that for you.
You know deep down inside whatreally feels right to you, what
aligns with your values, how youwant to live, and part of
living authentically meanscreating boundaries to protect
those values, no matter who getsupset.
The reality is you know that andmany times it's just like let's
(06:51):
be real.
It's like you don't want to berejected.
You don't want people to lookat you like, oh my God, she's a
mean person, oh my God, she saidthis, oh my God, she left that
job.
Oh my God, she left him.
Like, so what?
You can't leave yourself.
That's more important.
Are you going to leave you oryou leave the job, leave that
(07:11):
relationship, leave thatfriendship, leave that area,
leave whatever it is you need toleave behind, because rejecting
yourself is far worse thanrejecting anything else.
And I ain't talking about God,like, let's not reject God, okay
, but really, as humans, I feellike we belong to live, we want
(07:40):
to be loved, we want to beaccepted and all those things.
But I just want you to askyourself for real, for real,
like, do you want to be lovedfor the version of yourself
that's the real you, or theversion of yourself that's
shrinking, dimming your light sothat people could digest you?
Because I just want you to know, like, the right people, the
ones that are meant for you inyour life, they're going to
(08:01):
respect you.
They're going to respect yourboundaries.
They're for you in your life,they're gonna respect you.
They're gonna respect yourboundaries.
They're gonna love your life,they're.
When you talk your mess,they're gonna laugh, they're
gonna love it.
They're gonna love because theyunderstand that it's coming
from your heart.
They're not, yes, people, butthere are people who honor and
understand that this is the realyou and you're being true to
(08:21):
yourself.
Like, like they will say, hmm,maybe you should look at it from
this perspective when it comesto really allowing you to get
some form of positivereinforcement, constructive
criticism, if you will, butunderstand that they will
support you living in your truth, even if it makes them a little
(08:42):
uncomfortable at first, becausethey want to know that you're
being you.
They want you to honor yourtruth, they want you to live in
your life, and I want you toallow them to do the same,
because often we want people toaccept us, but we are super
critical of other people.
We want them to conform to ourtruth and I feel like it's just
(09:06):
so important that we allowpeople to show up as themselves,
both you allowing yourself tobe yourself, but you're doing
that for other people as well,because that's really how it's
meant to be in terms of peoplebeing a part of your life, and
you guys are building together.
You're growing together.
You're evolving together,whether it be a career you're
(09:29):
evolving in, where yourcoworkers and you are evolving
and all the things.
I just really want you to thinkabout that, and I know you're
probably thinking like girl.
You say it's so easy, like it'sso easy to do it, and it's not
easy.
It's not.
But you can start by reallystaying true to yourself in a
(09:49):
world where it's constantlypulling you to conform, by
getting clear about your values,like taking some time to really
think about what matters to you.
What are your non-negotiables?
What brings you joy, peace,fulfillment?
Sit in that I'm going to rewindwhat brings you joy, peace and
fulfillment.
(10:09):
Once you know that, it's goingto become so much easier to fill
out what doesn't.
You're going to filter out thethings that are not aligned to
you and I know you hear this allthe time but practice saying no
.
It's just so important for youto set boundaries to your
commitment so that things don'tdrain you, Saying no to
(10:31):
relationships that don't serveyou, no to things that pull you
away from the life you're tryingto build.
And remember, saying no does notmean that you're being a bad
person.
You're being negative, you'resaying yes to you.
Being negative, you're sayingyes to you Every time you say no
to someone else or somethingelse.
(10:52):
You're saying yes to you notbecause they are a no, but
because the reason you're sayingno is it doesn't align to the
things that bring you joy, peaceand fulfillment.
And then I just want you toembrace that discomfort because
in got, in order to stay true toyourself, the inner voice and
(11:12):
the things that are aligned tothe person you're trying to
become, to the things thatyou're trying to do, sometimes
will upset other people, andthat's okay, because it's a part
of growth for you and them.
They're going to learn how tohear no.
Okay, you can't live your lifejust keeping everybody
comfortable and happy whileyou're suffocating who you
(11:33):
really are.
I don't know who this is for,but I need you to remember.
The life that you're living isyour life.
You only get one shot at it.
Even if we've had past lives,you don't even remember it.
You get little bits andglimpses and you're like maybe
this is deja vu or maybe I'vebeen here before, but we don't
(11:55):
remember enough about it toreally consider it a life we've
lived before.
So, yes, you only get one shotat it and it's really too short
for you to live it for anyoneelse, for other people's
standards for their expectations, the people that matter.
They're going to love you.
They're going to love the realyou.
I want you to show up for thereal you.
(12:15):
I want you to go after thosegoals.
I want you to stop letting fearhold you back from your goals.
I want you to stop letting fearhold you back from being your
true self, because all of thethings that you want truly
starts with you.
It starts with you using yourvoice, you setting your
boundaries and you livingauthentically.
(12:37):
Just challenge yourself tospeak up for you.
Stop being silent, stop dimmingyour light and say no to the
things that don't align to yourvalues.
Trust that living your truth isgoing to lead you to a life
that feels right for you.
Listen.
If you're not already followingthe podcast, I need you to
scroll up to the top if you'reon Apple and hit follow Spotify,
(12:59):
follow If it's Apple.
Go down to the bottom and hitthat five stars.
Share it with your bestie.
Post the podcast on socials.
Post it on Instagram.
I'm at.
It's a Human Experience.
Workplace Therapy ExperienceRedefine the Future.
You Definitely come to some ofour events.
Check out Workplace TherapyExperience so that you can check
out our upcoming events.
We're in Las Vegas, atlanta, dc.
(13:22):
Share it with someone who needsto hear it and let's just
continue creating a space wherewe're lifting each other up and
encouraging each other to be ourauthentic self.
Check out the other episodes ifyou haven't already, and
remember that I'm rooting foryou.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience
podcast.
Today I wanted to dive intowhat it really means to live
authentically, unapologeticallyand on your terms.
I'm your host, hazel Brown.
In today's episode, we're goingto talk about something that
every one of us feel andexperience, especially as women.
(01:41):
It's really like the struggleto own your voice and stay true
to who you really are, even ifit gets people upset.
Here's the thing Life isdesigned for you to be able to
set boundaries based on yourvalues and yeah, it's going to
upset some people along the way,but guess what?
Your truth is yourresponsibility.
Staying true to who you are isyour responsibility.
Honoring your truth and livinga life that is meaningful to you
(02:03):
is your responsibility.
And using your voice justmatters.
How you stay grounded in yourauthenticity is using your voice
and making sure that, even whenthe world tries to tell you
otherwise, you honor your truthand you live in a way that makes
(02:24):
sense to you.
I want to dive a little bitdeeper, because there's the
power in using your voice, and Idon't mean just speaking up for
yourself, speaking up forothers, but I'm talking about
speaking your truth and notshrinking to fit in spaces
around you, like how many of youhave found yourself, like at
work with your friends or evenwith your family, biting your
(02:46):
tongue to avoid conflict or tomake people feel a little bit
more comfortable because youdon't want them to feel
uncomfortable.
And in certain instances youhave to be the bigger person,
right?
Sometimes, times when, like youhave that gut feeling and you
feel like you are really losingyourself from honoring someone
(03:10):
else's truth, you can't shrink,you shouldn't shrink right, you
shouldn't shrink to fit intospace, this pressure of being a
quote, unquote good girl toavoid confrontation at all costs
, just to maintain some kind ofharmony, that's going to have
you feeling like we're boxed inthese roles, these titles, this
(03:32):
identity of what a woman shouldbe and that suddenly causes you
to live a life that just doesn'tfeel like you're being true to
yourself.
It's more of a version ofyourself that's easy for other
people to digest and, I'm sorry,I'm not food.
I don't need to be digestible,right, I need you to like me
because of me.
I like you to like me for mysoul, for my values, for the
(03:56):
kind of person I am at heart,like it's my truth, it's my
being, it's who I am Not becauseI've dumbed down myself.
I've dimmed my light right sothat other people can feel like
I'm digestible, like I'm notfood.
I'm gonna need you to go getyou a steak and worry about how
digestible that is Not me.
(04:18):
Like those things, quietly eatat your spirit.
It quietly causes your bloodpressure to rise, right.
It quietly creates stress, andwe know that stress is a killer.
You might feel like there'ssome sense of resentment against
people, a career, yourrelationship, whatever the case
may be.
Because you're building up thatresentment, because you feel
(04:41):
like you're constantlyquestioning your thoughts around
people in a job, in a situation, in your relationship, whatever
the case may be.
Because maybe your opinions,your thoughts, your feelings are
never validated, they're nevervalid to someone else.
It always feels like somethingis wrong with you and you
shouldn't keep yourself insituations, relationships,
(05:03):
careers, places.
That really makes you feel likeyou are not deserving of
honoring your truth and livingthe life.
Because, just to be honestlisten, spoiler alert they are
every single one of yourthoughts, your opinions, your
feelings, the real you.
(05:25):
It's valid.
I want you to honor that.
I want you to validate that inknowing that you are enough for
you to just live boldly byowning your voice, honoring your
truth and being your authenticself.
Here's what I had to learn.
Listen, I'm speaking from myown personal experience.
It's not just about findingyour voice, it's about trusting
(05:49):
it.
It's about knowing this camefrom God.
This is in my spirit.
This is who I am.
Everything about me aligns withthe younger me, before I got
programmed, before peoplestarted telling me this is the
way you should do things.
When I look back, I know thatI'm being so true to my younger
self.
(06:09):
I'm being so true to theevolved version of me Like they
align right.
Some healing occurred inbetween the two and some
evolution occurred in betweenthe two when I think about the
younger me and who I am today.
But I can tell you that this isme.
I'm trusting my voice, I'mowning my voice and I want you
(06:30):
to do that for you.
You know deep down inside whatreally feels right to you, what
aligns with your values, how youwant to live, and part of
living authentically meanscreating boundaries to protect
those values, no matter who getsupset.
The reality is you know that andmany times it's just like let's
(06:51):
be real.
It's like you don't want to berejected.
You don't want people to lookat you like, oh my God, she's a
mean person, oh my God, she saidthis, oh my God, she left that
job.
Oh my God, she left him.
Like, so what?
You can't leave yourself.
That's more important.
Are you going to leave you oryou leave the job, leave that
(07:11):
relationship, leave thatfriendship, leave that area,
leave whatever it is you need toleave behind, because rejecting
yourself is far worse thanrejecting anything else.
And I ain't talking about God,like, let's not reject God, okay
, but really, as humans, I feellike we belong to live, we want
(07:40):
to be loved, we want to beaccepted and all those things.
But I just want you to askyourself for real, for real,
like, do you want to be lovedfor the version of yourself
that's the real you, or theversion of yourself that's
shrinking, dimming your light sothat people could digest you?
Because I just want you to know, like, the right people, the
ones that are meant for you inyour life, they're going to
(08:01):
respect you.
They're going to respect yourboundaries.
They're for you in your life,they're gonna respect you.
They're gonna respect yourboundaries.
They're gonna love your life,they're.
When you talk your mess,they're gonna laugh, they're
gonna love it.
They're gonna love because theyunderstand that it's coming
from your heart.
They're not, yes, people, butthere are people who honor and
understand that this is the realyou and you're being true to
(08:21):
yourself.
Like, like they will say, hmm,maybe you should look at it from
this perspective when it comesto really allowing you to get
some form of positivereinforcement, constructive
criticism, if you will, butunderstand that they will
support you living in your truth, even if it makes them a little
(08:42):
uncomfortable at first, becausethey want to know that you're
being you.
They want you to honor yourtruth, they want you to live in
your life, and I want you toallow them to do the same,
because often we want people toaccept us, but we are super
critical of other people.
We want them to conform to ourtruth and I feel like it's just
(09:06):
so important that we allowpeople to show up as themselves,
both you allowing yourself tobe yourself, but you're doing
that for other people as well,because that's really how it's
meant to be in terms of peoplebeing a part of your life, and
you guys are building together.
You're growing together.
You're evolving together,whether it be a career you're
(09:29):
evolving in, where yourcoworkers and you are evolving
and all the things.
I just really want you to thinkabout that, and I know you're
probably thinking like girl.
You say it's so easy, like it'sso easy to do it, and it's not
easy.
It's not.
But you can start by reallystaying true to yourself in a
(09:49):
world where it's constantlypulling you to conform, by
getting clear about your values,like taking some time to really
think about what matters to you.
What are your non-negotiables?
What brings you joy, peace,fulfillment?
Sit in that I'm going to rewindwhat brings you joy, peace and
fulfillment.
(10:09):
Once you know that, it's goingto become so much easier to fill
out what doesn't.
You're going to filter out thethings that are not aligned to
you and I know you hear this allthe time but practice saying no
.
It's just so important for youto set boundaries to your
commitment so that things don'tdrain you, Saying no to
(10:31):
relationships that don't serveyou, no to things that pull you
away from the life you're tryingto build.
And remember, saying no does notmean that you're being a bad
person.
You're being negative, you'resaying yes to you.
Being negative, you're sayingyes to you Every time you say no
to someone else or somethingelse.
(10:52):
You're saying yes to you notbecause they are a no, but
because the reason you're sayingno is it doesn't align to the
things that bring you joy, peaceand fulfillment.
And then I just want you toembrace that discomfort because
in got, in order to stay true toyourself, the inner voice and
(11:12):
the things that are aligned tothe person you're trying to
become, to the things thatyou're trying to do, sometimes
will upset other people, andthat's okay, because it's a part
of growth for you and them.
They're going to learn how tohear no.
Okay, you can't live your lifejust keeping everybody
comfortable and happy whileyou're suffocating who you
(11:33):
really are.
I don't know who this is for,but I need you to remember.
The life that you're living isyour life.
You only get one shot at it.
Even if we've had past lives,you don't even remember it.
You get little bits andglimpses and you're like maybe
this is deja vu or maybe I'vebeen here before, but we don't
(11:55):
remember enough about it toreally consider it a life we've
lived before.
So, yes, you only get one shotat it and it's really too short
for you to live it for anyoneelse, for other people's
standards for their expectations, the people that matter.
They're going to love you.
They're going to love the realyou.
I want you to show up for thereal you.
(12:15):
I want you to go after thosegoals.
I want you to stop letting fearhold you back from your goals.
I want you to stop letting fearhold you back from being your
true self, because all of thethings that you want truly
starts with you.
It starts with you using yourvoice, you setting your
boundaries and you livingauthentically.
(12:37):
Just challenge yourself tospeak up for you.
Stop being silent, stop dimmingyour light and say no to the
things that don't align to yourvalues.
Trust that living your truth isgoing to lead you to a life
that feels right for you.
Listen.
If you're not already followingthe podcast, I need you to
scroll up to the top if you'reon Apple and hit follow Spotify,
(12:59):
follow If it's Apple.
Go down to the bottom and hitthat five stars.
Share it with your bestie.
Post the podcast on socials.
Post it on Instagram.
I'm at.
It's a Human Experience.
Workplace Therapy ExperienceRedefine the Future.
You Definitely come to some ofour events.
Check out Workplace TherapyExperience so that you can check
out our upcoming events.
We're in Las Vegas, atlanta, dc.
(13:22):
Share it with someone who needsto hear it and let's just
continue creating a space wherewe're lifting each other up and
encouraging each other to be ourauthentic self.
Check out the other episodes ifyou haven't already, and
remember that I'm rooting foryou.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
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