Grieving the loss of a loved one or navigating the dark corridors of depression can feel like an isolating journey, but what if the key to healing lies in embracing our shared vulnerabilities? I, Hazel Brown, open up about my personal struggles with seasonal depression and the profound grief following my mother's death in 2022. Through candid storytelling, I invite you into the heart of my experiences, emphasizing the necessity of community and connection to break the cycle of isolation and despair. Discover how reaching out to loved ones during low moments can illuminate even the darkest paths, offering a beacon of hope and resilience.
In this heartfelt episode, we explore how resilience isn't a destination but a continuous journey shaped by our environments and the people around us. By cultivating supportive communities that celebrate vulnerability, we can redefine success through small daily victories and personal growth. Together, we'll unpack the complexities of self-worth, often tied to external factors, and learn how to build an authentic sense of identity and purpose. Join the conversation on building a mental toolkit that empowers you to face life's challenges with grace and grit, reminding us all that through connection and openness, we can truly thrive.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to the it's a Human
Experience podcast.
I'm your host, hazel Brown.
Today we're talking aboutsomething that hits close to
home for too many of us,especially when the days are
shorter, the season's colder.
Yes, I'm talking aboutdepression, seasonal depression,
feeling like you're down alone.
(01:34):
It really puts us in a space towhere we feel stuck, and I just
want to shed some additionalawareness.
About 5% of people within theUS, studies have shown suffers
from seasonal depression.
I wanted to point it outbecause the number seems very
low, but the symptoms can rangefrom feeling tired, moody, loss
(01:56):
of interest in activities thatyou typically would love, and
it's so similar to burnout thatit's like you really have to be
in the know of why am I feelinglike this to better understand
whether it's burning or truedepression or seasonal
(02:16):
depression, just not feelinggood.
Today is just an off day and Iwant you to be able to discern
between the four.
I've personally experiencedregular depression, seasonal
depression, burnout, just havingan off day, and they all do
feel a little bit different, andI'll talk about it till I'm
(02:37):
blue in the face.
It's so important to make surethat you are having that
community, those connections,because listen.
When we're feeling low down,just not here, burnt out,
depressed, seasonal or regular,off day or not, we have a
tendency to want to isolate.
(02:58):
I know I do.
When I'm not in the mood, nomatter what the reasoning is,
leave me alone.
And the reality is choosing tobe in a bubble on your own
really just makes symptoms worse.
Right, like, come out yourlittle shell, process what's
going on, but understand thatkeeping to yourself long-term
(03:23):
but short-term, you can go aheadand close the door, take a nap,
stay to yourself for a littlewhile so you can process what
you're going through and whatyou're feeling.
But if you see yourself days orweeks, months on out, you're
just self isolating yourselffrom other people.
I need you to reach out, I needyou to pick up the phone, have
a call with your rest, yourfriend, your family, your
(03:46):
neighbor, whatever that lookslike for you, so that they can
help to lift your spirits andjust make sure you're
surrounding yourself with peoplewho are going to lift you up.
They're going to lift youhigher, because it's really
those small things, thoseintentional moments of
connection, that really helps usbreak the cycle of loneliness
and allowing us to see like it'snot as bad as we feel like it
(04:09):
is, we can move on from this.
We're not alone on the journey,and that's really cultivating
resilience and rediscovering,like your purpose, and realizing
that life is so much biggerthan us and it's very important
for us to find our way andrealize that there's a crack in
everything.
That's how the light gets in,and I can say, being more
(04:31):
transparent when it comes to myexperience in regular depression
.
If you will, my non-clinicalterms It'd be a shame that I'm
in healthcare.
I'm just going to call itregular depression.
But after losing my mom in 2022,I was on the verge of giving up
Emotionally.
I just couldn't handle lifewithout her.
(04:52):
I literally thought that shewas my best friend.
I didn't want to take the timeto water other friendships
because I had her.
Listen, I had my mom.
So I really had to dig deep andask myself if I was going to
live or live.
And I'll say that again I hadto ask myself if I was going to
live or live because I was alive, I wasn't dead, I wasn't in the
(05:16):
ground, I wasn't cremated.
I was here but I wasn't living.
And I definitely give myselfgrace for how I process grief,
but there's just such a bigdifference between living or
living and sometimes, when youthink about the days, the months
, the years that pass by whereyou're grieving whatever that is
(05:39):
for you.
You could be grieving arelationship, you could be
grieving a career, simply movingchild, I just experienced that
for the first time.
I didn't even know you had togrieve and move.
As often as I've moved in thepast, I never grieved moving
from a city and that's how Iknow.
I really love that city and thepeople and community that I
(06:02):
built in that city.
But nonetheless I really wantedto make sure that I shed light
on.
Grief does not have to be simplyfrom the loss of someone
passing.
It can simply be just a changeand transition that you're going
through, that you have a directexperience with something that
(06:23):
you did not think was going tochange within that moment.
And for me, like specificallygoing back to my mom, just
understanding that I was thehappiest I've ever been months
and the year previous to herpassing.
My marriage was great, wetraveled, my job was good, my
business was growing, my kidswere well.
(06:44):
I talked to my mom five or sixtimes a week, listen, sometimes
two times a day, and losing herjust felt like I had lost a big
part of my identity.
I just had to learn a newmeaning of resilience.
When I talk about emotionalresilience, I talked about that
on a previous episode and herpassing truly changed the
trajectory of my life to whereit connected me more to my
(07:07):
purpose.
I really started becomingheavily focused on the concept
of living.
Now to my point before of if Iwas going to live or I was going
to live, and the point ofsharing that is for you to take
that time to ask yourself areyou going to live or are you
going to live?
In a recent study by theAmerican Psychological
(07:30):
Association, they share thatover 70% of adults report
experiencing significant stressregularly.
So you might've heard all mylittle dirt a little while ago,
but this is not an anomaly forme and it really requires
resilience and your ability tobounce back so that that could
(07:51):
transform you from that life ofstress to where you're motivated
by the power within you.
That hope and resilience istruly like the cornerstone of
living, like a purpose-drivenlife.
It's learned behavior thatcomes through facing and just
reframing those challenges.
Like Brene Brown talks a lotabout vulnerability, and it's
(08:14):
how it's a birthplace forinnovation, creativity, change
and all the things.
And that resilience reallycomes up to ask yourself like am
I brave enough to be vulnerable, like coming out my shell
instead of self-isolating myselfto where I am not getting help?
I'm not getting that connection, I'm not getting that sunlight,
you're not able to grow becauseyou're hiding and you're not
(08:37):
being vulnerable about whatyou're currently experiencing.
And I will say, before I moveon, that you have to make sure
you're developing relationshipswhere you could be emotionally
vulnerable.
I know for me, I sometimesself-isolate because I don't
necessarily want to share thingswith certain people, and what I
(08:58):
found is that I had to makesure that I start developing
friendships, relationships thatallow me to just be my authentic
self, that allow me to just say, hey, I'm just not feeling good
today, I'm just not with it, Ijust don't care about anything
that I have going on right nowI'm not feeling my best.
And being around people thatallow you to hold space for
(09:22):
whatever it is that you'refeeling, to just vent and not
judge you, really is likewinning.
People talk about how peace iswinning.
Interesting A peace of mind isthis shiny object we're all
reaching for, right, butseparate from peace is the
ability to really have peoplearound you, that you don't have
(09:44):
to pretend you're good.
It's okay to not be okay butseparate from that.
It's okay to just vent and saywhat you're saying without being
judged or being corrected aboutwhat you're saying, because the
reality is no one has itfigured out.
Everyone is trying to figureout who they are, where they're
trying to go and every daythey're growing into a different
(10:07):
person, whether it's for thebetter or for the worse, and
most of the times we're notnecessarily the same person we
were yesterday, becausesomething happens within the day
that kind of pulls you orpushes you in one direction or
the other.
So it's just so important thatwe build that community, we
create connections that reallysupport us and allows us to be
(10:30):
vulnerable, because when we'reable to be vulnerable with
someone else, that really trulyhelps you recognize what your
true feelings are.
And maybe you can't do thatwith a friend or your spouse or
a family member or a coworker,but you can get a therapist so
(10:50):
that you can be able to open upand be your authentic self.
That way you can see what yourground zero is and you can
continue to grow and developinto the person that you know
you're deserving of being.
Grit is really a significantpredictor in success, and we
know we describe success as inwhatever it looks like for you.
(11:11):
Listen, if you've got up andbrush your teeth, especially
after depression or when you'regoing through it.
Listen, home, run for you.
Today, you done brushed yourteeth, you done took your shower
.
You done got out the house.
You done made a phone call.
You are just winning all daylong.
It's the small things and whenyou think about success and you
(11:32):
think about grit, understandingthat even the most talented
people, if they cannot move pastthe obstacles that happen, the
setbacks that are taking place,and view them as learning
opportunities to push forward,they often end up being further
(11:54):
behind than someone who has lessnatural talent than they do.
Because you have to putyourself in a position to where
you look at things as I'm goingto go ahead and just look at
what I learned from this.
I'm going to go ahead and viewthis as an opportunity for
(12:16):
growth, and that's what I wantyou to do.
I want you to write down threethings that go well for you each
day and reinforcing your brain.
That child, it's not as bad asyou think.
It is you sitting here tellingme that I didn't do nothing, but
actually I relaxed.
Maybe the reason I didn't wantto do anything is because I
(12:37):
needed to take some time to rest.
I watched a show and furtherrelaxed.
I cleaned up my home and now Ifeel better.
In my home I ordered groceries,I cooked dinner, I picked up my
kids, I walked with my kids, Italked with my kids.
(12:57):
Listen, whatever you did doyour day, you rake the lawn.
Those are wins, especially ifyou've been self-isolating prior
to that.
I hear people that talk abouthow, when they were laid off,
they felt like theirself-identity had been
completely taken away becausetheir self-worth was tied to a
(13:20):
job title.
Their self-worth could possiblybe tied to a relationship,
could be tied to the area thatthey've grown up in.
It could be tied to thefriendships that they've had.
But you have to recognize thatthat resilience is going to
separate you.
Who you are at heart really hasa lot to do with your purpose
(13:41):
and your purpose with hope andresilience.
It truly takes you through thetough times.
Back to some statistics.
Listen, psychology today saysthat 30% more satisfaction and
energy is brought on by peoplewho have a broader sense of
purpose by 30%.
(14:03):
They have more satisfaction andenergy 30%.
Listen, on days where mybattery is at 70%.
That 30% comes in handy.
Guys, I know life, lifesometimes and we can talk so
much about the things we can doto be our best self, but we have
to really take some time to behonest with ourselves, to
(14:26):
recognize that we're not goingto always feel like we have the
energy to do all the things.
We're not going to always be inthe mood to do what it is that
we need to do as opposed to whatwe want to do.
We're not going to always havethe motivation to be committed
to our goals and when the timescome that have you down, it's
(14:48):
really important that you anchorto your truth, recognize who
you are, give yourself grace,really reflect in that moment
Like, how do you feel in thatmoment?
Really pull from moments, fromspecific memories or moments in
your life where you feltfulfilled.
I talked about how, before mymom passed, I felt the happiest
(15:13):
I had felt in my adult life thatI can remember.
We were just really living ourbest life.
Listen, we were definitelydoing that and you have to
really think about beingintentional about the things
that you were doing in that timethat made you feel whole, to
make sure that you can recognizewhat really lights you up, what
(15:34):
makes you happy, what makeslife worth living, helps us get
closer to who we are as people,to where we want to get up and
do the things necessary to getus closer to feeling like we are
living a life that is alignedto our purpose, so we can
actually push forward and carrysome value to the life that
(15:57):
we're living and take thosesmall actions.
That's really going toreinforce our sense of purpose.
How do you stay resilient wheneverything seems stacked against
you?
I know for me it was veryimportant to build my mental
toolkit, so having strategiesthat work for me.
I want you to build your mentaltoolkit and have strategies
(16:19):
that work for you when life getstough.
I want you to take it a day ata time and remind yourself that
resilience isn't a destination.
It's a practice that you haveto continuously do.
Set your day up with smallthings that you need to do,
maybe just two, three things, soyou could have some small wins,
and if you're feeling like achampion, you could add a few
(16:40):
more things there.
But that just helps theresilience come easy.
Don't create these long to-dolists that feels like, oh my God
, I can't.
If you're working on a goal, ifyou're working on becoming a
better person, finding a job,moving, building a friendship,
building a relationship, findingcommunities that align, find
(17:02):
two to three action items thatyou need to do on that given day
and do it.
Take the first step.
Do it If you're simply tryingto get out of feeling, of
feeling like you are holdingonto that burden, that heaviness
, not knowing if you're burntout, just having a bad day,
(17:22):
suffering from depression.
Just take some time to yourselfto be still and really get into
the hearts of how you'refeeling and once you do that,
phone a friend, someone youtrust, and say, hey, how are you
?
Give me a joke and tell mesomething funny and go from
(17:43):
there and just simply pullingyourself out of the situation
and recognizing that you createyour life.
Even when we feel bummed, wefeel burnt out and we want to
know how we're going torediscover who we are.
We have to understand that wehave to take that first step.
We can't wait for life tostraighten things out for us.
(18:06):
We have to be intentional abouthow we go about our day and the
thoughts we create to be ableto live the life we're deserving
of living.
I am rooting for you and withrooting for you, I'm going to
encourage you to take a stepback, see what parts of your
life you want to realign withyour values.
(18:28):
When your values align with thelife that you're living and what
matters the most to you, thenresilience becomes like a
natural part of bouncing backfrom all of the things all of
the hard things, the challenges,the obstacles because even in
those hard times, you're readyto get back to the life that you
(18:48):
once loved.
Yesterday, a week ago, twomonths ago, a year ago, five
years ago, 10 years ago,whatever that looks like for you
.
But remember, time is notpromised, so we can't keep
waiting to bounce back.
We have to make a decision toreflect and use today as a
starting point for cultivatingresilience.
(19:10):
Have that hope and knowing thatyou've got to believe in
yourself.
Tap into the version of youthat goes after the things, that
does the things, that commitsto what they say they're going
to do, admits to what they saythey're going to do, that level
of self-respect to understandthat if I say I'm going to do
something, I'm going to do itbecause I owe it to myself to
respect the future me, torespect the growth that I want
(19:32):
to see in my life and to livethe life that feels right to me.
It's really more than justbalancing back.
It's about using thesechallenges to become better
versions of ourselves.
So ask yourself what's onesmall action you could take
today so that your future selfwill thank you for it.
I appreciate you listening tothe podcast.
(19:53):
If you're not alreadysubscribed, make sure you hit
that subscribe button and followus.
If you're listening from Apple,scroll down to the bottom and
rate the episode five stars.
Be sure to leave comments.
Also, share the episodes withyour besties.
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(20:14):
Listen, sharing is caring.
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So remember we're rooting foryou and I'll a difference in the
lives of others, and that isthe intention of the podcast.
So remember we're rooting foryou and I'll see you in the next
episode.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to the it's a Human
Experience podcast.
I'm your host, hazel Brown.
Today we're talking aboutsomething that hits close to
home for too many of us,especially when the days are
shorter, the season's colder.
Yes, I'm talking aboutdepression, seasonal depression,
feeling like you're down alone.
(01:34):
It really puts us in a space towhere we feel stuck, and I just
want to shed some additionalawareness.
About 5% of people within theUS, studies have shown suffers
from seasonal depression.
I wanted to point it outbecause the number seems very
low, but the symptoms can rangefrom feeling tired, moody, loss
(01:56):
of interest in activities thatyou typically would love, and
it's so similar to burnout thatit's like you really have to be
in the know of why am I feelinglike this to better understand
whether it's burning or truedepression or seasonal
(02:16):
depression, just not feelinggood.
Today is just an off day and Iwant you to be able to discern
between the four.
I've personally experiencedregular depression, seasonal
depression, burnout, just havingan off day, and they all do
feel a little bit different, andI'll talk about it till I'm
(02:37):
blue in the face.
It's so important to make surethat you are having that
community, those connections,because listen.
When we're feeling low down,just not here, burnt out,
depressed, seasonal or regular,off day or not, we have a
tendency to want to isolate.
(02:58):
I know I do.
When I'm not in the mood, nomatter what the reasoning is,
leave me alone.
And the reality is choosing tobe in a bubble on your own
really just makes symptoms worse.
Right, like, come out yourlittle shell, process what's
going on, but understand thatkeeping to yourself long-term
(03:23):
but short-term, you can go aheadand close the door, take a nap,
stay to yourself for a littlewhile so you can process what
you're going through and whatyou're feeling.
But if you see yourself days orweeks, months on out, you're
just self isolating yourselffrom other people.
I need you to reach out, I needyou to pick up the phone, have
a call with your rest, yourfriend, your family, your
(03:46):
neighbor, whatever that lookslike for you, so that they can
help to lift your spirits andjust make sure you're
surrounding yourself with peoplewho are going to lift you up.
They're going to lift youhigher, because it's really
those small things, thoseintentional moments of
connection, that really helps usbreak the cycle of loneliness
and allowing us to see like it'snot as bad as we feel like it
(04:09):
is, we can move on from this.
We're not alone on the journey,and that's really cultivating
resilience and rediscovering,like your purpose, and realizing
that life is so much biggerthan us and it's very important
for us to find our way andrealize that there's a crack in
everything.
That's how the light gets in,and I can say, being more
(04:31):
transparent when it comes to myexperience in regular depression
.
If you will, my non-clinicalterms It'd be a shame that I'm
in healthcare.
I'm just going to call itregular depression.
But after losing my mom in 2022,I was on the verge of giving up
Emotionally.
I just couldn't handle lifewithout her.
(04:52):
I literally thought that shewas my best friend.
I didn't want to take the timeto water other friendships
because I had her.
Listen, I had my mom.
So I really had to dig deep andask myself if I was going to
live or live.
And I'll say that again I hadto ask myself if I was going to
live or live because I was alive, I wasn't dead, I wasn't in the
(05:16):
ground, I wasn't cremated.
I was here but I wasn't living.
And I definitely give myselfgrace for how I process grief,
but there's just such a bigdifference between living or
living and sometimes, when youthink about the days, the months
, the years that pass by whereyou're grieving whatever that is
(05:39):
for you.
You could be grieving arelationship, you could be
grieving a career, simply movingchild, I just experienced that
for the first time.
I didn't even know you had togrieve and move.
As often as I've moved in thepast, I never grieved moving
from a city and that's how Iknow.
I really love that city and thepeople and community that I
(06:02):
built in that city.
But nonetheless I really wantedto make sure that I shed light
on.
Grief does not have to be simplyfrom the loss of someone
passing.
It can simply be just a changeand transition that you're going
through, that you have a directexperience with something that
(06:23):
you did not think was going tochange within that moment.
And for me, like specificallygoing back to my mom, just
understanding that I was thehappiest I've ever been months
and the year previous to herpassing.
My marriage was great, wetraveled, my job was good, my
business was growing, my kidswere well.
(06:44):
I talked to my mom five or sixtimes a week, listen, sometimes
two times a day, and losing herjust felt like I had lost a big
part of my identity.
I just had to learn a newmeaning of resilience.
When I talk about emotionalresilience, I talked about that
on a previous episode and herpassing truly changed the
trajectory of my life to whereit connected me more to my
(07:07):
purpose.
I really started becomingheavily focused on the concept
of living.
Now to my point before of if Iwas going to live or I was going
to live, and the point ofsharing that is for you to take
that time to ask yourself areyou going to live or are you
going to live?
In a recent study by theAmerican Psychological
(07:30):
Association, they share thatover 70% of adults report
experiencing significant stressregularly.
So you might've heard all mylittle dirt a little while ago,
but this is not an anomaly forme and it really requires
resilience and your ability tobounce back so that that could
(07:51):
transform you from that life ofstress to where you're motivated
by the power within you.
That hope and resilience istruly like the cornerstone of
living, like a purpose-drivenlife.
It's learned behavior thatcomes through facing and just
reframing those challenges.
Like Brene Brown talks a lotabout vulnerability, and it's
(08:14):
how it's a birthplace forinnovation, creativity, change
and all the things.
And that resilience reallycomes up to ask yourself like am
I brave enough to be vulnerable, like coming out my shell
instead of self-isolating myselfto where I am not getting help?
I'm not getting that connection, I'm not getting that sunlight,
you're not able to grow becauseyou're hiding and you're not
(08:37):
being vulnerable about whatyou're currently experiencing.
And I will say, before I moveon, that you have to make sure
you're developing relationshipswhere you could be emotionally
vulnerable.
I know for me, I sometimesself-isolate because I don't
necessarily want to share thingswith certain people, and what I
(08:58):
found is that I had to makesure that I start developing
friendships, relationships thatallow me to just be my authentic
self, that allow me to just say, hey, I'm just not feeling good
today, I'm just not with it, Ijust don't care about anything
that I have going on right nowI'm not feeling my best.
And being around people thatallow you to hold space for
(09:22):
whatever it is that you'refeeling, to just vent and not
judge you, really is likewinning.
People talk about how peace iswinning.
Interesting A peace of mind isthis shiny object we're all
reaching for, right, butseparate from peace is the
ability to really have peoplearound you, that you don't have
(09:44):
to pretend you're good.
It's okay to not be okay butseparate from that.
It's okay to just vent and saywhat you're saying without being
judged or being corrected aboutwhat you're saying, because the
reality is no one has itfigured out.
Everyone is trying to figureout who they are, where they're
trying to go and every daythey're growing into a different
(10:07):
person, whether it's for thebetter or for the worse, and
most of the times we're notnecessarily the same person we
were yesterday, becausesomething happens within the day
that kind of pulls you orpushes you in one direction or
the other.
So it's just so important thatwe build that community, we
create connections that reallysupport us and allows us to be
(10:30):
vulnerable, because when we'reable to be vulnerable with
someone else, that really trulyhelps you recognize what your
true feelings are.
And maybe you can't do thatwith a friend or your spouse or
a family member or a coworker,but you can get a therapist so
(10:50):
that you can be able to open upand be your authentic self.
That way you can see what yourground zero is and you can
continue to grow and developinto the person that you know
you're deserving of being.
Grit is really a significantpredictor in success, and we
know we describe success as inwhatever it looks like for you.
(11:11):
Listen, if you've got up andbrush your teeth, especially
after depression or when you'regoing through it.
Listen, home, run for you.
Today, you done brushed yourteeth, you done took your shower
.
You done got out the house.
You done made a phone call.
You are just winning all daylong.
It's the small things and whenyou think about success and you
(11:32):
think about grit, understandingthat even the most talented
people, if they cannot move pastthe obstacles that happen, the
setbacks that are taking place,and view them as learning
opportunities to push forward,they often end up being further
(11:54):
behind than someone who has lessnatural talent than they do.
Because you have to putyourself in a position to where
you look at things as I'm goingto go ahead and just look at
what I learned from this.
I'm going to go ahead and viewthis as an opportunity for
(12:16):
growth, and that's what I wantyou to do.
I want you to write down threethings that go well for you each
day and reinforcing your brain.
That child, it's not as bad asyou think.
It is you sitting here tellingme that I didn't do nothing, but
actually I relaxed.
Maybe the reason I didn't wantto do anything is because I
(12:37):
needed to take some time to rest.
I watched a show and furtherrelaxed.
I cleaned up my home and now Ifeel better.
In my home I ordered groceries,I cooked dinner, I picked up my
kids, I walked with my kids, Italked with my kids.
(12:57):
Listen, whatever you did doyour day, you rake the lawn.
Those are wins, especially ifyou've been self-isolating prior
to that.
I hear people that talk abouthow, when they were laid off,
they felt like theirself-identity had been
completely taken away becausetheir self-worth was tied to a
(13:20):
job title.
Their self-worth could possiblybe tied to a relationship,
could be tied to the area thatthey've grown up in.
It could be tied to thefriendships that they've had.
But you have to recognize thatthat resilience is going to
separate you.
Who you are at heart really hasa lot to do with your purpose
(13:41):
and your purpose with hope andresilience.
It truly takes you through thetough times.
Back to some statistics.
Listen, psychology today saysthat 30% more satisfaction and
energy is brought on by peoplewho have a broader sense of
purpose by 30%.
(14:03):
They have more satisfaction andenergy 30%.
Listen, on days where mybattery is at 70%.
That 30% comes in handy.
Guys, I know life, lifesometimes and we can talk so
much about the things we can doto be our best self, but we have
to really take some time to behonest with ourselves, to
(14:26):
recognize that we're not goingto always feel like we have the
energy to do all the things.
We're not going to always be inthe mood to do what it is that
we need to do as opposed to whatwe want to do.
We're not going to always havethe motivation to be committed
to our goals and when the timescome that have you down, it's
(14:48):
really important that you anchorto your truth, recognize who
you are, give yourself grace,really reflect in that moment
Like, how do you feel in thatmoment?
Really pull from moments, fromspecific memories or moments in
your life where you feltfulfilled.
I talked about how, before mymom passed, I felt the happiest
(15:13):
I had felt in my adult life thatI can remember.
We were just really living ourbest life.
Listen, we were definitelydoing that and you have to
really think about beingintentional about the things
that you were doing in that timethat made you feel whole, to
make sure that you can recognizewhat really lights you up, what
(15:34):
makes you happy, what makeslife worth living, helps us get
closer to who we are as people,to where we want to get up and
do the things necessary to getus closer to feeling like we are
living a life that is alignedto our purpose, so we can
actually push forward and carrysome value to the life that
(15:57):
we're living and take thosesmall actions.
That's really going toreinforce our sense of purpose.
How do you stay resilient wheneverything seems stacked against
you?
I know for me it was veryimportant to build my mental
toolkit, so having strategiesthat work for me.
I want you to build your mentaltoolkit and have strategies
(16:19):
that work for you when life getstough.
I want you to take it a day ata time and remind yourself that
resilience isn't a destination.
It's a practice that you haveto continuously do.
Set your day up with smallthings that you need to do,
maybe just two, three things, soyou could have some small wins,
and if you're feeling like achampion, you could add a few
(16:40):
more things there.
But that just helps theresilience come easy.
Don't create these long to-dolists that feels like, oh my God
, I can't.
If you're working on a goal, ifyou're working on becoming a
better person, finding a job,moving, building a friendship,
building a relationship, findingcommunities that align, find
(17:02):
two to three action items thatyou need to do on that given day
and do it.
Take the first step.
Do it If you're simply tryingto get out of feeling, of
feeling like you are holdingonto that burden, that heaviness
, not knowing if you're burntout, just having a bad day,
(17:22):
suffering from depression.
Just take some time to yourselfto be still and really get into
the hearts of how you'refeeling and once you do that,
phone a friend, someone youtrust, and say, hey, how are you
?
Give me a joke and tell mesomething funny and go from
(17:43):
there and just simply pullingyourself out of the situation
and recognizing that you createyour life.
Even when we feel bummed, wefeel burnt out and we want to
know how we're going torediscover who we are.
We have to understand that wehave to take that first step.
We can't wait for life tostraighten things out for us.
(18:06):
We have to be intentional abouthow we go about our day and the
thoughts we create to be ableto live the life we're deserving
of living.
I am rooting for you and withrooting for you, I'm going to
encourage you to take a stepback, see what parts of your
life you want to realign withyour values.
(18:28):
When your values align with thelife that you're living and what
matters the most to you, thenresilience becomes like a
natural part of bouncing backfrom all of the things all of
the hard things, the challenges,the obstacles because even in
those hard times, you're readyto get back to the life that you
(18:48):
once loved.
Yesterday, a week ago, twomonths ago, a year ago, five
years ago, 10 years ago,whatever that looks like for you
.
But remember, time is notpromised, so we can't keep
waiting to bounce back.
We have to make a decision toreflect and use today as a
starting point for cultivatingresilience.
(19:10):
Have that hope and knowing thatyou've got to believe in
yourself.
Tap into the version of youthat goes after the things, that
does the things, that commitsto what they say they're going
to do, admits to what they saythey're going to do, that level
of self-respect to understandthat if I say I'm going to do
something, I'm going to do itbecause I owe it to myself to
respect the future me, torespect the growth that I want
(19:32):
to see in my life and to livethe life that feels right to me.
It's really more than justbalancing back.
It's about using thesechallenges to become better
versions of ourselves.
So ask yourself what's onesmall action you could take
today so that your future selfwill thank you for it.
I appreciate you listening tothe podcast.
(19:53):
If you're not alreadysubscribed, make sure you hit
that subscribe button and followus.
If you're listening from Apple,scroll down to the bottom and
rate the episode five stars.
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(20:14):
Listen, sharing is caring.
Getting us in front of morepeople really helps the podcast
to grow and helps make adifference in the lives of
others, and that is theintention of the podcast.
So remember we're rooting foryou and I'll a difference in the
lives of others, and that isthe intention of the podcast.
So remember we're rooting foryou and I'll see you in the next
episode.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
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And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
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Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
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