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November 7, 2024 16 mins

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Have you ever found yourself trapped in the web of social media comparison, measuring your life against the picture-perfect highlights of others? Join me, Hazel Brown, as I unravel the hidden impacts of social media on our mental health and the dangers of comparing our authentic lives to the filtered realities we scroll through daily. I offer a personal glimpse into the meticulous process behind crafting seamless online content, revealing how these polished posts rarely tell the whole story. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that the success you often covet online might be accompanied by untold challenges or sacrifices. We journey together toward embracing our unique paths and prioritizing personal growth over comparison.

Our conversation doesn't stop at awareness; it extends to empowerment. I invite you to become an active participant in our community by engaging with the podcast on platforms like Instagram at "it's the Human Experience" or "Workplace Therapy Experience." As we strive to align with our highest selves, your support through subscriptions, shares, and reviews propels our mission forward. Let's stay connected through itsthehumanexperience.com, fostering a space where we grow and glow together. Embrace this opportunity to nurture your personal journey and find fulfillment beyond the curated online personas.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you

(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part

(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Hey, hey, hey.
You are now tuned in to theit's the Human Experience
podcast.
I'm your host, hazel Brown.
Today we're diving into a topicthat I know that we need to
talk about.
We're talking about breakingfree from comparison so that you
could find fulfillment in yourown unique journey.
Yes, I said unique journey,because yours is different, and

(01:34):
it's different for a reason,because we are all here for
different reasons, so that wehave similarities and things
that really tie us together.
We are still unique in the waythat we live our lives, in the
paths that we're on.
So I just wanted to make sure Ikind of express that from the
jump so that you're morefamiliar.
If you're not already followingthe podcast, scroll up to the

(01:56):
top and hit that follow button.
If you're listening from AppleiHeartRadio, spotify, all the
things Audible let's go.
I just want you to make surethat you don't miss any future
episodes that you're able totune in, catch the gems on a
regular basis.
When you're done tuning intothe episodes, scroll down to the
bottom if you're listening fromApple, and make sure that you

(02:20):
give us five stars.
Leave us a comment so we knowyour greatest takeaway.
Listen, tag us at it's theHuman Experience on Instagram or
Workplace Therapy.
Throw us in your stories sothat other people that know the
great value that you're gettingfrom the podcast, so that they
can grow and glow too.
All right, let's jump in.
So wanted to make sure we kindof started around some of the

(02:42):
statistics when it comes to,like this, social media
perfection and why we're notwhere we're supposed to be kind
of feels right.
So when we think about theimpact social media has on our
mental health, statistics showsthat up to 70% of social media
users have admitted to comparingtheir lives to others, not to

(03:03):
mention how long it takes forour reels to look the way they
do.
Like that is technically nothow it all happened.
It's technically not asseamless Meaning when I'm
creating a reel.
Just really going back to thispast Monday, I was creating a
reel in the car while mydaughter was getting her hair
done and it literally took metwo hours to curate that reel.

(03:28):
Those experiences are realexperiences.
However, it doesn't happen aseasy and clean as it looks.
So someone was trying to createa reel as well and they're like
45 minutes in and they're likehow come mine doesn't look like
that Child?
Mine wouldn't either if I onlyhad 45 minutes, so I share that.

(03:49):
To say simple example relatedspecifically to social media,
and it really makes youunderstand.
This is why we can't compareourselves to other people at all
.
And though we all know this,the timeline, the reels, the
feeds, the stories, all of thedifferent carousels and features

(04:11):
that social media has, are allcurated online spaces.
Right In the real world, youcan't create your life to where
it looks exactly how you want itto look in the real world, like
you can be intentional, you cango after your goals, you can
have discipline, you can beconsistent, you could practice

(04:33):
self-care, you could read everymorning, you could meditate, you
can eat healthy, you can do allthe things.
You can pray, read your Bible,you can circle yourself,
surround yourself, I should say,with people that align with
your values.
You can make sure that you goon date nights, take trips, all

(04:54):
the things, and life will stilllife in between all of those
things that you're doing tobetter yourself as a person.
And so everything that I named,including therapy, are all good
things that you can do to makesure that you have a more
fulfilling life, butunderstanding that social media
doesn't allow the bumps in theroad, the curves, the ups and

(05:16):
downs.
Social media in the way thatit's used.
It's a curated space thatshares the highlights and wins
that someone is experiencingbecause they're using social
media to build their business,to build their brand, to build
their community, to build theirsocial circle, whatever the case
is in terms of what they'reusing it for, and so, as a

(05:39):
result, they're typically notsharing all of the lows that
they're experiencing life.
And if we know anything, weknow that there's a duality in
everything that we do.
So if life is functioningextremely good, there are going
to be some shortcomings that aregoing on somewhere in your life
, whether you'd like to admit itor not, and so it's important

(06:01):
for you to keep that intoperspective, because many times,
whoever you're comparingyourself with you typically
wouldn't in their shoes,probably not even an hour.
Let's be real.
The reality is you don't knowsomeone suffers from depression,
anxiety, what kind of healthailments they have, what kind of

(06:22):
heart they have, what doestheir heart's posture actually
look like in real life, not justthe facade or the image that
they're putting on on socialmedia, and many times, we don't
want that baggage, but we wanttheir success in terms of.
Maybe you want more followers,you want more money, you want
more people soliciting yourbusiness, you want a better

(06:43):
career, you want a family, youwant whatever it is that you're
looking at, saying that you want, and in that moment it feels
like, oh, I just wish.
But know that that wish comeswith some baggage, just like
everything that you have goingon.
You have some good things goingon in your life today,
regardless if you feel like youdo or you don't.
There are things that you haveprayed for that are showing up

(07:05):
in today's current statesituation.
If you took some time to justpractice some gratitude and
recognizing that you've come far, look back at your
seven-year-old self, your17-year-old self, your
27-year-old self, your37-year-old self, child you last
week, you three hours ago.
You have grown and evolved overtime and you have to give

(07:30):
yourself grace to recognize thatand not be so concerned with
what someone else has going on,because you truly don't know
their whole story, you don'tknow the entire journey, you
don't know what shortcuts theytook, you don't know what they
buried along the way.
You just have no idea.
What you do know is who you areat heart, and if you don't take
some time to be still todetermine what your values are,

(07:53):
what you really want out yourlife in terms of what.
Determine what your values are,what you really want on your
life in terms of what will makeyou feel fulfilled, what you
want your next five years tolook like, your next 10 years to
look like.
Take some time and sit in thatand take less time thinking
about what someone else is doing.
Their story has nothing to dowith you.
Using your gifts may impactother people, but it's not in a

(08:16):
way to where you have to compareyourself to others.
It's in a way that you have todo the work so that the people
that are caught up in you doingthe work, they get the
breakthroughs that they will get, based on you sharing the
message, using your gifts, beingthe person you know you're
called to be.
Sharing the message, using yourgifts, being the person you
know you're called to be.

(08:37):
Sometimes we really have toshift the focus and look within
to determine what our personalstories are like.
What experience has caused us tobe triggered by the things that
we're seeing on social media towhere we don't feel like we're
as far as we should be.
Sometimes there's trauma.
We don't feel like we're as faras we should be.
Sometimes there's trauma, thereare personal breakthroughs that
you're trying to make happen,but it can sometimes be a result

(09:03):
of you being compared to otherpeople, by your family members,
whether it's your mom, a friend,a loved one, a sister, a cousin
, a brother, an uncle, whatever,and whoever.
Think about what that lookslike, because sometimes those
things that we go through in ourlives causes us to naturally
get into a place where we feellike, oh my God, we're not doing

(09:25):
as good as such and such, butthe only person that you should
be comparing yourself to isyourself.
It's so easy for other people tomake that comment.
I'm sure you've seen it onsocial media.
You hear people saying it's meversus me, it's you versus you,
but I really want to take sometime to sit in that, because the
reason it's you versus you orit's me versus me is because I

(09:49):
know what I'm capable of.
I know if I'm functioning at50%, I know if my battery is at
80%, I know if I have more gasto go 100%, and I know where I'm
at in that process in terms ofthe gauge.
So if I'm at a three-fourthtank, we'll just use gas, as an

(10:12):
example, and I'm onlyfunctioning to go as far as
getting to quarter tank.
And then when I'm talking toother people I'm saying, oh my
God, I'm on that one quartertank, but the reality is we know
we're at three fourth, so weknow we can go further.
Only you can assess that.
No one else can tell you howfar you can run.

(10:35):
No one else can tell you howfast you can go.
No one else can tell you howfast you can go.
No one else can tell you whatyou're capable of.
You have that insight.
You have that internal compass.
God has equipped you with theability to know whether you're
being complacent or you'recontent with where you are or
you have more work to do.

(10:55):
And only you can gauge that.
Social media, in terms of whatother people are doing, should
not be your gauge for what elseyou can do.
That representation and whatthey are doing is a good
indicator that, if you want it,if you have enough gas to go
further, if you have theinterest, you are capable of

(11:16):
doing it, because thatrepresentation is there to show
you that you can do it too.
It's not a place to where youshould be going to be able to
say I'm not doing enough,because your scars are different
from their scars.
You have no idea how muchsupport they've had, or how

(11:36):
little support they've had,based on looking at someone's
social media page or beingfriends with somebody and
knowing some of someone's story.
I've said this before on aprevious episode.
There are so many times thatpeople who are our friends, our
family members, our bestest offriends, right, our parents, our

(11:59):
kids, our spouses, ourco-workers they don't know the
half of our thoughts, of thethings we've experienced, of the
way in which that we have goalsfor ourselves and we want to
show up our fears and differenttrauma, shame and triggers that
we may have around differenttopics, subjects or experiences.
And so, that being said, if thepeople closest to you don't

(12:27):
know, the hearts of who you areat its full capacity.
So maybe some people know youat about 80%, some 70%, some
three.
Most people don't know you at100% because you're still trying
to figure out who you are at100% and that changes every day.
So I share all that to say thatit should be something that you
take more time to think aboutwhen you recognize that you're

(12:50):
being triggered by someone orsomething, whether it's social
media, in the workplace, in yourrelationships, in your friend
circles.
Listen online or in person andin real life.
Whatever the circumstances, Iwant you to realize that it is
you versus you when you thinkabout that, you versus you.

(13:11):
I just want you to pull closerto stillness, reflection,
intentionally.
Take some time out to go out innature, go for a walk, take a
bath I mean bubble bath.
I'm hoping you shower all thetime.
Do whatever you need to do toget yourself in a space to where
you can really think about yourvalues and what looks right to

(13:36):
you, what feels right to you foryour future, for your future
self.
You need to be intentional withyour time now so that you can
work on the action necessary tobe the person that you emphasis
on you want to be, not whateveryone else is doing.

(13:57):
If this episode resonates to you, I want you to go back.
Listen to episode 44.
That is definitely one of thebiggest self-worth episodes
that's within the podcastEpisode 11, episode 5, episode
66.
Those are episodes that arereally popular in terms of
really getting into the heartsof who you are as a person.

(14:17):
And there are many otherepisodes that I could mention,
because the podcast primarilyfocuses on helping you see that
you are capable of becoming yourhighest self through stories
from other experts, from othermen and women that are
constantly working on personaldevelopment, betting on
themselves, and they're talkingopenly about their experience so

(14:39):
that they can help you level upas well.
So go back and tune intoprevious episodes and just take
the time necessary to beintentional about what you're
allowing to shape you as aperson.
Allow yourself to redefinesuccess and what that looks like
for you by setting your ownpersonal goals instead of

(15:00):
following societal norms Likedon't be normal child, please.
That is for the birds.
Be you, be your version of whatlife looks like.
Create your life and live now.
Stop waiting, stop thinkingit's for everyone else.
Stop making excuses foryourself.
Hold yourself accountable andknow that the life that you want

(15:23):
you are deserving of, but youdon't want it because someone
else has it.
You want it because you've donethe work to make sure that it's
aligned to who you are as aperson today and what you want
your future to look like.
Now go get it.
Make sure that you follow thepodcast, share it with your
besties, tag us on Instagram toyour stories at it's the Human

(15:47):
Experience or Workplace TherapyExperience.
I'm here for it and I lookforward to all of the things
that you do to align to yourhighest self.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
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