June 5, 2025 • 24 mins
If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start building a life aligned with your true purpose—this episode is for you.
Did you know? Research shows only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware (Harvard Business Review). The rest? Are stuck in cycles of programming, conditioning, and societal expectations—living lives they didn’t actually choose.
But not you. Not anymore.
This is your invitation to wake up to YOU—your values, your voice, your version of success.
🚀 In this powerful episode, we unpack:
✅ What self-awareness really is—and why it’s the key to living life on YOUR terms
✅ Why you deserve to explore, create, and color outside the lines (without guilt!)
✅ How identity can be shaped by shame—and how to reclaim it
✅ The truth about shame: how childhood wounds, comparison, and societal pressure keep us stuck
✅ Why your healing is relational—identity is healed in community, not in isolation
✅ A new model of growth: like trees, true growth happens upward and downward at the same time
✅ Why external validation (followers, likes) is an illusion—and what actually matters
✅ The transformative power of visual connection and in-person community—and how YOU can be part of it
✅ Why NOW is the time to redefine your life—and why this podcast is here to support you every step of the way
✨ THIS IS YOUR SIGN:
You are allowed to evolve.
You are allowed to question what you’ve been taught.
You are allowed to create a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
🎥 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
➡️ Subscribe on YouTube: @RedefiningTheFutureYou
➡️ Follow us on Instagram: @workplacetherapyexperience
This is where the deeper conversations are happening—visual connection, intentional community, and elevated spaces where you can grow, heal, and THRIVE.
🔥 Your next step:
🎧 Binge the top episodes—start with Episode 74 if you haven’t yet.
⭐ Leave a review if this resonated—your words help us reach more people.
💌 Share this episode with your friends, your community, your sister circle—because we are building this movement together.
You are worthy of a life designed by YOU.
Let’s keep becoming—one conversation at a time.
—
Listen, Rate & Review, Share & Subscribe (Follow)!
Check me out online! I want to hear from you!!!
Follow us online & tag us to let me know you’re listening– I want to know your favorite episode! @itsthehumanexperience
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hey, hey, hey.
You are now tuned in to theit's the Human Experience
podcast.
It's your host, hazel Brown,and before we jump back into our
next guest episode, I wanted tomake sure that we talk about
some things from the perspectiveof truth, holding space as
we're evolving, because this isthe Human Experience Podcast and
(01:37):
, just like you, we are alsoevolving, taking up space and
owning our truth.
And today I wanted to talkabout the part that's really
craving more than noise, likeyou're craving clarity,
connection and community thatactually aligns with where
you're going, and that is whatthis space is intended to do.
(01:57):
So I wanted to sit here beforewe start bringing on guests,
start showing more video to makesure that you really are taking
time to be self-aware andliving life on your terms.
Self-awareness is really let'sgo to the definition it's
defined as the ability to seeyourself clearly and objectively
(02:18):
through reflection andintrospection.
But here's the wildest part.
I said let me do some studies,because I've been having some
sidebar conversations notrelated to the podcast, related
to some other things and I waslike let me figure out what
research shows aboutself-awareness, because people
tell me that I'm very self-aware, and then we'll have
(02:41):
conversations about things andI'll talk to different people in
different situations andenvironments and I'll kind of
think to myself well, that'scommon sense.
Like you should be able to putyourself in someone else's shoes
.
You should be able to see whatyou did to play a role in this.
You should be able to see howyou've handled a situation which
(03:03):
would then cause the reactionor the result.
And I didn't realize that thatis not common sense, right?
Research shows that only 10 to15% of people are actually
self-aware, and that was byHarvard Business Review.
What that means, guys, is thatmost people are living on
(03:26):
autopilot, like based onprogramming, conditioning,
societal expectations, fear, andthat's why so many of us feel
stuck.
That's why so many people don'tfulfill their dreams and goals.
Because if you're notself-aware and you're just going
with the flow, status quo, ifyou will then you don't really
(03:50):
realize that you're not stuck.
You don't really realize thatyou can absolutely create the
life you want to live.
You don't realize that it's allabout your actions, your faith,
who you surround yourself with,the community I keep talking
about community, so I'm likewe're going to push that in the
(04:13):
community and you have to decideto choose different.
You have to choose to liveintentionally.
You have to choose to definesuccess on your own terms.
We have to choose growth thataligns with the person that
we're becoming, the person thatwe see ourselves to be, based on
the vision that God has givenus, and not just the person that
(04:36):
the world expects us to be.
Because don't nobody care whatpeople expect.
Like, if you are not proud ofyou, then what's the point we
gonna sit in that, then what'sthe point we gonna sit in that?
What's the point If you're notproud of you, then what are you
doing it for?
It can't be for externalvalidation, because everybody is
busy with their life.
(04:56):
Everybody is in their head,everybody is figuring out things
for them.
So when you think about thefact of you have goals and you
feel stuck or you're scared,people are going to judge you.
Like who the hell are they thatthey get to determine whether
or not you fulfill your dreams?
Like it's you versus you.
The only person you owe anexplanation to is your future
(05:19):
self for why you folded, for whyyou gave up, for why you won't
bet on you.
So one thing we didn't talkabout was that wild crime scene
investigation episode.
Yeah, that was different, but Ireally wanted to make sure that
I let go of shame, I let go ofhow it would look, I let go of
people's perceptions and I didwhat it is that I wanted to do.
(05:42):
So I'm not just telling you todo the thing, I'm actually doing
the thing too right.
We're out our way, taking upspace, trying new things,
failing forward as opposed tojust wondering what if and so I
don't know if that resonatedwith you or if you even got a
chance to listen, but I want tomake sure that you recognize
(06:02):
that whatever dreams you have,whatever goals you have, you
deserve to try.
You deserve to see if it'ssomething you like.
You deserve to see if you canwin in terms of the fulfillment
that comes from whatever it isthat is within your spirit to do
.
You deserve to go after yourgoals and live for you.
So definitely listen to it,tell me what you think.
(06:24):
I thought it was cute.
I liked it a little bit, but Idefinitely want to make sure I
shameless plugged that episodetoo, because it was like Hazel,
what are you doing?
But it's okay to do things thatmake you question what you're
doing.
If, inside, you want to try it,you deserve to live, you
deserve to try.
Things don't have to be souniform to where you can't live
(06:44):
outside the box.
So I wanted to make sure thatwe sat there as well, because
the reality is we deserve to trynew things, we deserve to use
all of our muscles, we deserveto be creative, we deserve to
color outside the lines, wedeserve to do whatever it is
within us in terms of being boldand bending on ourselves, and I
(07:05):
want to make sure you're doingthat, and this matters because
we're living life on our terms,and that's whether you choose to
own your terms or you choosenot to.
You're operating from anidentity that may not have even
been yours, like it really couldhave been your mothers, your
(07:26):
fathers, your sisters, yourcousins, your grandma, your
grandfather, your neighbors,your colleague, like the person
that you were going to collegewith.
Whatever that is for you.
I need you to take time toreally unfold where you are
today.
It could be the younger youright.
Really unfold where you aretoday.
(07:46):
It could be the younger youright.
It could be the 12-year-old you.
That said you should do what areyou really doing to reflect and
decide what current dayidentity looks like for you
before you make your next move,and hence I said you heavy on
you, right Heavy on you, oh mygoodness, I just really
(08:09):
nonjudgmental, but really likesis bro, whoever, I want every
being in this world to removethe mask, remove the shame,
remove the expectation of others, remove the fear, remove the
(08:32):
limits, remove the boundariesthat you create when it comes to
your dreams.
Boundaries are for peace.
Boundaries are for other peopleto create a space that fulfills
your life desires in terms ofwhat they have access to, the
way they treat you, the way theytalk to you, the way they don't
(08:53):
do this or they do that, in thesense that you create a space
that fulfills your life in theway that it aligns with your
principles, with your values,but not boundaries for your
goals, not boundaries for thethings that you can do in terms
of limits.
So I really want to make surethat you realize that you better
(09:14):
not stop going after the thingsthat make the most sense for
you, because you deserve to livea life that really makes you
feel whole, that makes you feelfulfilled, that makes you feel
like you're in your purpose,that makes you feel like, yes,
this is why I was put here.
(09:36):
You deserve that feeling and Iwanna sit in the fact that you
won't feel that way every day.
I don't know if I've ever saidthat on the podcast.
I would hope that I have.
But I want you to know, thisfeeling of feeling peace and
feeling like wholeness, it won'thappen every day at every
(09:56):
moment.
Just like happiness is a stateof mind, it's not a place you go
and you stay.
I recently saw something fromMyron Goldman.
He's always giving gems, he's awhole wisdom guy and all them
grades ain't for nothing, right,shout out to Myron.
But I listened to somethingthat he shared about how trees
grow in several directions rightUp and down and then, listening
(10:18):
to him, I thought about howthey grow right and left.
Right Up and down.
And in listening to him, Ithought about how they grow
right and left too, in terms ofthe branches, right, so it's a
straight up system.
And then you have the rootsdown at the bottom and in the
same way, the roots are at thebottom.
They parallel in the sense thatit happens again at the top.
And that's what happens in life, like while things are growing
(10:39):
in a way of productivity interms of elevation growth and
things are coming together.
Things are also going south inthat same direction.
To hold you and plant you Ifyou'll just hold steady, if
you'll just keep putting in thework, if you'll just keep going.
And I really wanted to makesure I share that.
(11:02):
Because why do you have shame ifevery being is going through a
process of routine, despite thefact that they're self-aware
enough to know that it'shappening for them and not to
them?
I want you to let go of shamebecause those things are a part
of your message, it is a part ofyour why, it's a part of your
(11:23):
purpose.
So we're going to call itidentity and I guess we should
define it right.
So identity is the way that youdefine yourself, based on your
values, your beliefs, yourexperiences and your sense of
belonging.
But many of us carry anidentity shaped by shame, and
(11:43):
shame is powerful.
Shame is really a painfulfeeling that you feel flawed,
like you're not enough, likeyou're not worthy.
There's an unworthiness of loveand belonging and I want you to
let go of that.
I want you to let go of thatbecause those things don't
belong to you, like when youlook at research and you try to
(12:07):
figure out, like, where doesshame come from Like why do
people feel so much guilt aroundtheir experiences?
And because I just like todabber in the research and
figure out all the things.
I really wanted to look it upand so I'm going to share it
with you.
It comes from childhood wounds,societal expectations, past
(12:29):
mistakes and judgments.
Comparison, social media,social.
Did somebody say social media,unmet expectations and just
unrealistic expectations?
Let's talk about that.
And here's the truth.
I need you to hear me.
You are allowed to rewrite yourstory.
(12:49):
You are allowed to choose anidentity rooted in love and
purpose and authenticity.
You really deserve that.
You're allowed to create a lifethat really aligns with your
values, not just the version ofyou that the world expected you
to be.
Did I not say theirexpectations don't matter?
(13:10):
Yeah, I said that.
Okay, all right, just thoughtI'd say that again.
But I want to be honest when itcomes to expectations and the
expectations we put on ourselves.
Let's sit there.
I said that I was going to startputting out video episodes and
then I recognized that no,sweetie, like we're not going to
rush, like things happen andthings deserve to marinate.
(13:32):
Listen, if you listen to theearlier episodes, you know
exactly what I'm talking about.
But things taste better whenthey marinate.
And with that, why am I rushingit?
Why am I rushing to put thatout there?
I got some real good guests,guys, some real good
conversations really raw, reallyopen, really transformational,
(13:56):
really just dope People who showup as their selves.
They struggle with going aftertheir goals, like we all do, but
they choose to get back up, nomatter what.
Those kind of people are mypeople, we doing it.
Messy kind of people we'redoing it because we deserve to
(14:16):
show up for ourselves.
And those people are sharingstories vulnerably,
transparently, openly, genuinely.
Listen.
We're going to find all theleads.
You got some for me.
Listen, put them in thecomments, but we're making sure
we really show up.
And I just noticed that itwasn't time yet.
(14:37):
It wasn't time yet Not justbecause I felt like maybe I was
rushing it, but it wasn't timeyet Cause y'all still have not
followed me on YouTube.
You're not following me on.
Workplace Therapy yes, slap onthe hand, like I had to not get
many people to come out andfollow me on Workplace Therapy
(14:59):
or on YouTube, and I said tomyself does that mean they're
not ready for video?
And I like to go based on data.
Right, data is my friend,research is my friend, and if
we're doing something and peopledon't want it, then why are we
putting it out there?
So that told me that I need totake a little bit more time just
to make sure that I shamelessplug that.
(15:21):
Guys, we are going to be onvideo.
Please just take a moment topause the episode.
Go over to Instagram and followme at Workplace Therapy
Experience, because you'll beable to see glimpses of the
episode there If you want tocatch the full episode.
Also, follow me on YouTube atRedefining the Future you, so
(15:44):
that you can catch the fullepisode.
I know that most people thatlisten to audio podcasts do it
in the car, at the gym, whilethey're cleaning, just kind of
having it on the television butnot being in front of it.
But there are times that youmay want to go back to it and
see the actual video footage, toput a face to the voice, if you
(16:04):
will, or just really get moreinto it and kind of feel the
energies of the conversation,and for that I just want to make
sure that I sat in that it'sjust truly important that as
you're listening, you're alsoable to follow visually.
You don't have to change yourroutine and start listening on
YouTube Like the podcast audioversion is going nowhere.
(16:25):
It's here to stay.
But still, I would trulyappreciate your support if you
would go over to YouTube atRedefining the Future you and
follow me, share it with yourbesties, your go-getters, your
purpose-driven, goal-orientedpeople that you know are ready
for transformation and deeperconversation.
(16:46):
Instagram at Workplace TherapyExperience or it's the human
experience.
It's still there, but I'm somuch more active under Workplace
Therapy Experience that it justmakes sense to follow me there
because you'll see it either way.
But I wanted to make sure I sitin that because audio is safe,
it's personal, it's private, Iget it, but I really want to
invite you to stretch a littlebecause the visual connections,
(17:08):
they really matter and I reallywant to make sure that I'm out
my way and giving you more andin doing that, making that
investment in going in person,bringing on guests and all the
things.
I just truly would appreciateyour support, because studies
really show that 70 to 90percent of communication is
nonverbal.
Studies really show that 70 to90% of communication is
(17:29):
nonverbal and so, as a result,when you see someone's eyes,
like their energy, their emotion, it's just deeper, it's more
trust, it's more connection.
You get to really feel and seewho people are.
While my live events is like onanother level, I definitely want
to make sure that you guys areable to experience more within
the community and you're notbuilding in isolation, because
(17:53):
this is really built for you toshow up imperfect in the process
, but I want us to make surethat we're present and we're
doing it together.
The reality is that's why Icreated workplace therapy events
, because it's so intentional.
It's not just about like atypical networking event.
It's where, like healing,centered, growth oriented,
(18:14):
driven folks that really want tobe in a space to, where they're
around, other go-getters, heartcentered leaders who are
choosing to be self-aware,listen, let's talk about that
and live life on your own terms.
Most importantly, like I feellike it's the place you go to
find wholeness and fulfillmentand connection, because those
(18:37):
connections are genuinely madeand you have them long-term,
like for real, for real.
The reality is identity ishealed in relationships, not in
isolation.
And I know more than anybodyhow easy it is to go in
isolation, because I've done ittime and time again.
When life starts to life andthe roots start to go south too
(19:01):
much and I don't see theelevation in it going north fast
enough I too sometimes go intoisolation.
I am definitely grown up a lotwhen it comes to that, but I'm
human too, and so it stillhappens, and that shame
dissolves with the communitymore so than it does with
silence.
And so when you're around otherpeople who are authentic and
(19:22):
honest about the fact that lifedoes life, even though it looks
like it's perfect on the outsideto others, it is going haywire
sometimes.
Right, it definitely goeshaywire sometimes, but it
doesn't matter because that'sthe human experience.
And so I don't know.
Guys, I just really felt like anudge to really sit there,
(19:44):
because I am so tired ofeverybody feeling like life is
perfect for some and not forthem.
Everybody lives and we don'thave to put on a facade.
We don't have to be better thanwe are.
We are enough already.
Social media kills me from afollowing perspective Everybody
wants to have 10K followers and50K followers and for
(20:09):
partnership deals and forgetting a check.
If you ain't getting checksother ways, I get it.
Hats off to you.
But my validation does not comefrom followers, it does not
come from likes.
It does not come from whatother people think.
We have got to let that go,because what if no one approves
(20:31):
of you, then what do you notapprove of you?
Yeah, the birds are chirping.
Why Like?
Why are we allowing otherpeople's validation and
perception?
The only person I have aproblem with in social media
land is the algorithm, becausewhen I spend time doing my thing
and you don't push my content,the algorithm I hope you hear me
.
That is a whole thing, right,but outside of the algorithm, we
(20:55):
got to let go of comparison.
We got to let go of shame.
We have to hold on to ouridentity.
We have to hold on to ouridentity and we have to know
that we are very much deservingof living the life.
So this is just really yourinvitation today Even though
you're loving audio, don't stayon the sidelines.
Follow us on Instagram atWorkplace Therapy Experience.
(21:17):
Go subscribe on YouTube atRedefining the Future.
You and even if you don't watchit, just stay connected so that
when the video content drivesor when you're ready to go a
step deeper, like we're alreadyin your back pocket and if you
haven't already binge watchedour top episodes before the next
set of video content comes out,I want you to start with 74.
(21:41):
I want you to go back to triedand true 44, really all the
episodes, but I also hear a lotof feedback on certain episodes
that I want to make sure Ishameless plug.
But just go ahead and listen tothe podcast Like it was built
with intention.
It was built so that we progressand grow together.
We talk about all the thingsfrom projection to identity, to
(22:05):
fear, to believing in yourself,to the problems and pitfalls and
the things that happen toboundaries, to relationships, to
the time we spend watching TVversus after going off our goals
, to faith.
We talk about all the things onthe podcast.
We will continue to go levelsdeeper into the things and I
(22:25):
just want to make sure you catchyourself up so that, as we're
diving deeply, you're not like,wait, what are you talking about
?
The reality is not trying totoot my own horn, but the
podcast was designed to meet youwhere you are, to help you
elevate and move forward.
So listen intently and know thatthis is your life.
(22:48):
You don't have to be perfect,you don't have to have all the
answers, but you do have to bewilling to choose yourself, and
if you're listening, I alreadyknow you are because you're
connected.
You're trying to make sure thatyou are focused on growth and I
just want you to make sure thatyou don't grow alone.
Share us with the people inyour life that wants to live
(23:09):
life on their terms.
They think like you, they wantto bet on themselves, like you.
So just don't do it alone anddefinitely make sure that you
remember that we me and youwe're in this together.
So I hope to see you onInstagram, youtube and that's
workplace therapy event, right,like you, definitely want to
make sure you do that, becauseit's personal, it's powerful and
(23:31):
I can't wait to witness yourgrowth because the reality is we
deserve to live the life thatwe know we're deserving of
living, and we are going to doit together.
We're going to do it now.
We are going to live now onpurpose, take up space while
we're growing in two differentdirections, okay.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hey, hey, hey.
You are now tuned in to theit's the Human Experience
podcast.
It's your host, hazel Brown,and before we jump back into our
next guest episode, I wanted tomake sure that we talk about
some things from the perspectiveof truth, holding space as
we're evolving, because this isthe Human Experience Podcast and
(01:37):
, just like you, we are alsoevolving, taking up space and
owning our truth.
And today I wanted to talkabout the part that's really
craving more than noise, likeyou're craving clarity,
connection and community thatactually aligns with where
you're going, and that is whatthis space is intended to do.
(01:57):
So I wanted to sit here beforewe start bringing on guests,
start showing more video to makesure that you really are taking
time to be self-aware andliving life on your terms.
Self-awareness is really let'sgo to the definition it's
defined as the ability to seeyourself clearly and objectively
(02:18):
through reflection andintrospection.
But here's the wildest part.
I said let me do some studies,because I've been having some
sidebar conversations notrelated to the podcast, related
to some other things and I waslike let me figure out what
research shows aboutself-awareness, because people
tell me that I'm very self-aware, and then we'll have
(02:41):
conversations about things andI'll talk to different people in
different situations andenvironments and I'll kind of
think to myself well, that'scommon sense.
Like you should be able to putyourself in someone else's shoes
.
You should be able to see whatyou did to play a role in this.
You should be able to see howyou've handled a situation which
(03:03):
would then cause the reactionor the result.
And I didn't realize that thatis not common sense, right?
Research shows that only 10 to15% of people are actually
self-aware, and that was byHarvard Business Review.
What that means, guys, is thatmost people are living on
(03:26):
autopilot, like based onprogramming, conditioning,
societal expectations, fear, andthat's why so many of us feel
stuck.
That's why so many people don'tfulfill their dreams and goals.
Because if you're notself-aware and you're just going
with the flow, status quo, ifyou will then you don't really
(03:50):
realize that you're not stuck.
You don't really realize thatyou can absolutely create the
life you want to live.
You don't realize that it's allabout your actions, your faith,
who you surround yourself with,the community I keep talking
about community, so I'm likewe're going to push that in the
(04:13):
community and you have to decideto choose different.
You have to choose to liveintentionally.
You have to choose to definesuccess on your own terms.
We have to choose growth thataligns with the person that
we're becoming, the person thatwe see ourselves to be, based on
the vision that God has givenus, and not just the person that
(04:36):
the world expects us to be.
Because don't nobody care whatpeople expect.
Like, if you are not proud ofyou, then what's the point we
gonna sit in that, then what'sthe point we gonna sit in that?
What's the point If you're notproud of you, then what are you
doing it for?
It can't be for externalvalidation, because everybody is
busy with their life.
(04:56):
Everybody is in their head,everybody is figuring out things
for them.
So when you think about thefact of you have goals and you
feel stuck or you're scared,people are going to judge you.
Like who the hell are they thatthey get to determine whether
or not you fulfill your dreams?
Like it's you versus you.
The only person you owe anexplanation to is your future
(05:19):
self for why you folded, for whyyou gave up, for why you won't
bet on you.
So one thing we didn't talkabout was that wild crime scene
investigation episode.
Yeah, that was different, but Ireally wanted to make sure that
I let go of shame, I let go ofhow it would look, I let go of
people's perceptions and I didwhat it is that I wanted to do.
(05:42):
So I'm not just telling you todo the thing, I'm actually doing
the thing too right.
We're out our way, taking upspace, trying new things,
failing forward as opposed tojust wondering what if and so I
don't know if that resonatedwith you or if you even got a
chance to listen, but I want tomake sure that you recognize
(06:02):
that whatever dreams you have,whatever goals you have, you
deserve to try.
You deserve to see if it'ssomething you like.
You deserve to see if you canwin in terms of the fulfillment
that comes from whatever it isthat is within your spirit to do
.
You deserve to go after yourgoals and live for you.
So definitely listen to it,tell me what you think.
(06:24):
I thought it was cute.
I liked it a little bit, but Idefinitely want to make sure I
shameless plugged that episodetoo, because it was like Hazel,
what are you doing?
But it's okay to do things thatmake you question what you're
doing.
If, inside, you want to try it,you deserve to live, you
deserve to try.
Things don't have to be souniform to where you can't live
(06:44):
outside the box.
So I wanted to make sure thatwe sat there as well, because
the reality is we deserve to trynew things, we deserve to use
all of our muscles, we deserveto be creative, we deserve to
color outside the lines, wedeserve to do whatever it is
within us in terms of being boldand bending on ourselves, and I
(07:05):
want to make sure you're doingthat, and this matters because
we're living life on our terms,and that's whether you choose to
own your terms or you choosenot to.
You're operating from anidentity that may not have even
been yours, like it really couldhave been your mothers, your
(07:26):
fathers, your sisters, yourcousins, your grandma, your
grandfather, your neighbors,your colleague, like the person
that you were going to collegewith.
Whatever that is for you.
I need you to take time toreally unfold where you are
today.
It could be the younger youright.
Really unfold where you aretoday.
(07:46):
It could be the younger youright.
It could be the 12-year-old you.
That said you should do what areyou really doing to reflect and
decide what current dayidentity looks like for you
before you make your next move,and hence I said you heavy on
you, right Heavy on you, oh mygoodness, I just really
(08:09):
nonjudgmental, but really likesis bro, whoever, I want every
being in this world to removethe mask, remove the shame,
remove the expectation of others, remove the fear, remove the
(08:32):
limits, remove the boundariesthat you create when it comes to
your dreams.
Boundaries are for peace.
Boundaries are for other peopleto create a space that fulfills
your life desires in terms ofwhat they have access to, the
way they treat you, the way theytalk to you, the way they don't
(08:53):
do this or they do that, in thesense that you create a space
that fulfills your life in theway that it aligns with your
principles, with your values,but not boundaries for your
goals, not boundaries for thethings that you can do in terms
of limits.
So I really want to make surethat you realize that you better
(09:14):
not stop going after the thingsthat make the most sense for
you, because you deserve to livea life that really makes you
feel whole, that makes you feelfulfilled, that makes you feel
like you're in your purpose,that makes you feel like, yes,
this is why I was put here.
(09:36):
You deserve that feeling and Iwanna sit in the fact that you
won't feel that way every day.
I don't know if I've ever saidthat on the podcast.
I would hope that I have.
But I want you to know, thisfeeling of feeling peace and
feeling like wholeness, it won'thappen every day at every
(09:56):
moment.
Just like happiness is a stateof mind, it's not a place you go
and you stay.
I recently saw something fromMyron Goldman.
He's always giving gems, he's awhole wisdom guy and all them
grades ain't for nothing, right,shout out to Myron.
But I listened to somethingthat he shared about how trees
grow in several directions rightUp and down and then, listening
(10:18):
to him, I thought about howthey grow right and left.
Right Up and down.
And in listening to him, Ithought about how they grow
right and left too, in terms ofthe branches, right, so it's a
straight up system.
And then you have the rootsdown at the bottom and in the
same way, the roots are at thebottom.
They parallel in the sense thatit happens again at the top.
And that's what happens in life, like while things are growing
(10:39):
in a way of productivity interms of elevation growth and
things are coming together.
Things are also going south inthat same direction.
To hold you and plant you Ifyou'll just hold steady, if
you'll just keep putting in thework, if you'll just keep going.
And I really wanted to makesure I share that.
(11:02):
Because why do you have shame ifevery being is going through a
process of routine, despite thefact that they're self-aware
enough to know that it'shappening for them and not to
them?
I want you to let go of shamebecause those things are a part
of your message, it is a part ofyour why, it's a part of your
(11:23):
purpose.
So we're going to call itidentity and I guess we should
define it right.
So identity is the way that youdefine yourself, based on your
values, your beliefs, yourexperiences and your sense of
belonging.
But many of us carry anidentity shaped by shame, and
(11:43):
shame is powerful.
Shame is really a painfulfeeling that you feel flawed,
like you're not enough, likeyou're not worthy.
There's an unworthiness of loveand belonging and I want you to
let go of that.
I want you to let go of thatbecause those things don't
belong to you, like when youlook at research and you try to
(12:07):
figure out, like, where doesshame come from Like why do
people feel so much guilt aroundtheir experiences?
And because I just like todabber in the research and
figure out all the things.
I really wanted to look it upand so I'm going to share it
with you.
It comes from childhood wounds,societal expectations, past
(12:29):
mistakes and judgments.
Comparison, social media,social.
Did somebody say social media,unmet expectations and just
unrealistic expectations?
Let's talk about that.
And here's the truth.
I need you to hear me.
You are allowed to rewrite yourstory.
(12:49):
You are allowed to choose anidentity rooted in love and
purpose and authenticity.
You really deserve that.
You're allowed to create a lifethat really aligns with your
values, not just the version ofyou that the world expected you
to be.
Did I not say theirexpectations don't matter?
(13:10):
Yeah, I said that.
Okay, all right, just thoughtI'd say that again.
But I want to be honest when itcomes to expectations and the
expectations we put on ourselves.
Let's sit there.
I said that I was going to startputting out video episodes and
then I recognized that no,sweetie, like we're not going to
rush, like things happen andthings deserve to marinate.
(13:32):
Listen, if you listen to theearlier episodes, you know
exactly what I'm talking about.
But things taste better whenthey marinate.
And with that, why am I rushingit?
Why am I rushing to put thatout there?
I got some real good guests,guys, some real good
conversations really raw, reallyopen, really transformational,
(13:56):
really just dope People who showup as their selves.
They struggle with going aftertheir goals, like we all do, but
they choose to get back up, nomatter what.
Those kind of people are mypeople, we doing it.
Messy kind of people we'redoing it because we deserve to
(14:16):
show up for ourselves.
And those people are sharingstories vulnerably,
transparently, openly, genuinely.
Listen.
We're going to find all theleads.
You got some for me.
Listen, put them in thecomments, but we're making sure
we really show up.
And I just noticed that itwasn't time yet.
(14:37):
It wasn't time yet Not justbecause I felt like maybe I was
rushing it, but it wasn't timeyet Cause y'all still have not
followed me on YouTube.
You're not following me on.
Workplace Therapy yes, slap onthe hand, like I had to not get
many people to come out andfollow me on Workplace Therapy
(14:59):
or on YouTube, and I said tomyself does that mean they're
not ready for video?
And I like to go based on data.
Right, data is my friend,research is my friend, and if
we're doing something and peopledon't want it, then why are we
putting it out there?
So that told me that I need totake a little bit more time just
to make sure that I shamelessplug that.
(15:21):
Guys, we are going to be onvideo.
Please just take a moment topause the episode.
Go over to Instagram and followme at Workplace Therapy
Experience, because you'll beable to see glimpses of the
episode there If you want tocatch the full episode.
Also, follow me on YouTube atRedefining the Future you, so
(15:44):
that you can catch the fullepisode.
I know that most people thatlisten to audio podcasts do it
in the car, at the gym, whilethey're cleaning, just kind of
having it on the television butnot being in front of it.
But there are times that youmay want to go back to it and
see the actual video footage, toput a face to the voice, if you
(16:04):
will, or just really get moreinto it and kind of feel the
energies of the conversation,and for that I just want to make
sure that I sat in that it'sjust truly important that as
you're listening, you're alsoable to follow visually.
You don't have to change yourroutine and start listening on
YouTube Like the podcast audioversion is going nowhere.
(16:25):
It's here to stay.
But still, I would trulyappreciate your support if you
would go over to YouTube atRedefining the Future you and
follow me, share it with yourbesties, your go-getters, your
purpose-driven, goal-orientedpeople that you know are ready
for transformation and deeperconversation.
(16:46):
Instagram at Workplace TherapyExperience or it's the human
experience.
It's still there, but I'm somuch more active under Workplace
Therapy Experience that it justmakes sense to follow me there
because you'll see it either way.
But I wanted to make sure I sitin that because audio is safe,
it's personal, it's private, Iget it, but I really want to
invite you to stretch a littlebecause the visual connections,
(17:08):
they really matter and I reallywant to make sure that I'm out
my way and giving you more andin doing that, making that
investment in going in person,bringing on guests and all the
things.
I just truly would appreciateyour support, because studies
really show that 70 to 90percent of communication is
nonverbal.
Studies really show that 70 to90% of communication is
(17:29):
nonverbal and so, as a result,when you see someone's eyes,
like their energy, their emotion, it's just deeper, it's more
trust, it's more connection.
You get to really feel and seewho people are.
While my live events is like onanother level, I definitely want
to make sure that you guys areable to experience more within
the community and you're notbuilding in isolation, because
(17:53):
this is really built for you toshow up imperfect in the process
, but I want us to make surethat we're present and we're
doing it together.
The reality is that's why Icreated workplace therapy events
, because it's so intentional.
It's not just about like atypical networking event.
It's where, like healing,centered, growth oriented,
(18:14):
driven folks that really want tobe in a space to, where they're
around, other go-getters, heartcentered leaders who are
choosing to be self-aware,listen, let's talk about that
and live life on your own terms.
Most importantly, like I feellike it's the place you go to
find wholeness and fulfillmentand connection, because those
(18:37):
connections are genuinely madeand you have them long-term,
like for real, for real.
The reality is identity ishealed in relationships, not in
isolation.
And I know more than anybodyhow easy it is to go in
isolation, because I've done ittime and time again.
When life starts to life andthe roots start to go south too
(19:01):
much and I don't see theelevation in it going north fast
enough I too sometimes go intoisolation.
I am definitely grown up a lotwhen it comes to that, but I'm
human too, and so it stillhappens, and that shame
dissolves with the communitymore so than it does with
silence.
And so when you're around otherpeople who are authentic and
(19:22):
honest about the fact that lifedoes life, even though it looks
like it's perfect on the outsideto others, it is going haywire
sometimes.
Right, it definitely goeshaywire sometimes, but it
doesn't matter because that'sthe human experience.
And so I don't know.
Guys, I just really felt like anudge to really sit there,
(19:44):
because I am so tired ofeverybody feeling like life is
perfect for some and not forthem.
Everybody lives and we don'thave to put on a facade.
We don't have to be better thanwe are.
We are enough already.
Social media kills me from afollowing perspective Everybody
wants to have 10K followers and50K followers and for
(20:09):
partnership deals and forgetting a check.
If you ain't getting checksother ways, I get it.
Hats off to you.
But my validation does not comefrom followers, it does not
come from likes.
It does not come from whatother people think.
We have got to let that go,because what if no one approves
(20:31):
of you, then what do you notapprove of you?
Yeah, the birds are chirping.
Why Like?
Why are we allowing otherpeople's validation and
perception?
The only person I have aproblem with in social media
land is the algorithm, becausewhen I spend time doing my thing
and you don't push my content,the algorithm I hope you hear me
.
That is a whole thing, right,but outside of the algorithm, we
(20:55):
got to let go of comparison.
We got to let go of shame.
We have to hold on to ouridentity.
We have to hold on to ouridentity and we have to know
that we are very much deservingof living the life.
So this is just really yourinvitation today Even though
you're loving audio, don't stayon the sidelines.
Follow us on Instagram atWorkplace Therapy Experience.
(21:17):
Go subscribe on YouTube atRedefining the Future.
You and even if you don't watchit, just stay connected so that
when the video content drivesor when you're ready to go a
step deeper, like we're alreadyin your back pocket and if you
haven't already binge watchedour top episodes before the next
set of video content comes out,I want you to start with 74.
(21:41):
I want you to go back to triedand true 44, really all the
episodes, but I also hear a lotof feedback on certain episodes
that I want to make sure Ishameless plug.
But just go ahead and listen tothe podcast Like it was built
with intention.
It was built so that we progressand grow together.
We talk about all the thingsfrom projection to identity, to
(22:05):
fear, to believing in yourself,to the problems and pitfalls and
the things that happen toboundaries, to relationships, to
the time we spend watching TVversus after going off our goals
, to faith.
We talk about all the things onthe podcast.
We will continue to go levelsdeeper into the things and I
(22:25):
just want to make sure you catchyourself up so that, as we're
diving deeply, you're not like,wait, what are you talking about
?
The reality is not trying totoot my own horn, but the
podcast was designed to meet youwhere you are, to help you
elevate and move forward.
So listen intently and know thatthis is your life.
(22:48):
You don't have to be perfect,you don't have to have all the
answers, but you do have to bewilling to choose yourself, and
if you're listening, I alreadyknow you are because you're
connected.
You're trying to make sure thatyou are focused on growth and I
just want you to make sure thatyou don't grow alone.
Share us with the people inyour life that wants to live
(23:09):
life on their terms.
They think like you, they wantto bet on themselves, like you.
So just don't do it alone anddefinitely make sure that you
remember that we me and youwe're in this together.
So I hope to see you onInstagram, youtube and that's
workplace therapy event, right,like you, definitely want to
make sure you do that, becauseit's personal, it's powerful and
(23:31):
I can't wait to witness yourgrowth because the reality is we
deserve to live the life thatwe know we're deserving of
living, and we are going to doit together.
We're going to do it now.
We are going to live now onpurpose, take up space while
we're growing in two differentdirections, okay.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
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