August 14, 2025 • 24 mins
Ever feel like you’re stuck in life’s potholes while everyone else seems to be speeding down smooth highways? You’re not alone. In this raw, audio-only episode, I open up about turning 40 — and the 40 hard-earned reflections that have carried me through deep valleys and unexpected victories.
These aren’t curated Instagram quotes. They’re battle-tested truths from someone still navigating her own valley season, yet standing on spiritual mountaintops at the same time. That beautiful contradiction — broken yet whole, struggling yet succeeding — is something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud.
From embracing slow seasons without shame to redefining success as peace, I share lessons that will shift how you see yourself, your relationships, your career, and your faith.
In this episode, we’ll talk about:
- Why the valley is where your roots deepen, not where your story ends
- How “slow” doesn’t mean “stuck” — and why growth speed isn’t your worth
- Why titles open doors but only character keeps you in the room
- How to set boundaries that protect your peace and energy
- The role of ownership — in your home, your ideas, and your financial stability
- How grief can both break you and grow you
- Why clarity often comes after obedience, not before
- What it means to be in the valley in the flesh but on the mountaintop in the spirit
This episode is both a mirror and a map — reflecting your own struggles while offering direction for your journey forward. Whether you’re stepping into a new chapter, pushing through a hard climb, or enjoying a season of abundance, these reflections will meet you exactly where you are.
Save this episode for when you need a reminder you’re not alone. Share it with a friend who might be ready to give up. And remember: these lessons aren’t mine alone — they belong to anyone ready to grow.
📌 Subscribe on YouTube: Redefining the Future https://youtube.com/@redefiningthefutureyou
📌 Follow & DM me on Instagram: @workplacetherapyexperience for upcoming events and resources.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hey, hey, hey.
You are now tuned in to theit's the Human Experience
podcast.
I'm your host, hazel Brown, andtoday yes, we're not on video
because I don't need you to seemy face for you to know it's
real.
Today, I want you to hear myvoice.
I turned 40 lessons into 40reflections, from the valleys
(01:33):
that I thought I'd never climbout of, to the moments that made
me realize that this is whatgrowth really feels like, and I
just want you to be able to takethese in and run with them,
without really focusing on who,what, whatever the case may be.
And I want you to be able toreally take in everything that
I'm saying, because when I lookback at where I've started, the
(01:55):
slow seasons, the misunderstoodseasons, the lonely seasons, I
realized that they were allshaping me for where I am now.
If you don't know, my name isHazel Brown.
I'm the host of it's the HumanExperience podcast and, in light
of me celebrating 40 chaptersin this world, right, I figured
(02:16):
I might as well write down 40reflections that really carried
me through some of my valleys,some of my victories, just
things that I can hope that youcould take, just to remind you
that you're not alone.
You're still growing and you'reright where you need to be.
I don't know about you, but I'min a space where, even when
(02:37):
life lies, I'm so full ofgratitude.
I still recognize that God isstill with me through it all.
And so, for me, the biggestpart that I want to start with
right is my valley season.
I really still feel like I'm inmy valley season and I think
it's so strange because on theoutside, people tell me how
(02:58):
they're proud of me.
They send me all of thisinformation about oh my God,
like you're doing thisCongratulations me, all of this
information about oh my God,like you're doing this,
congratulations.
And you know, if you've beenlistening to the podcast all 80
something episodes then you knowmy love language is definitely
affirmations.
So I'm here for it.
I appreciate being heard, seen,valued and being told the
(03:20):
impact that I'm making on yourlife, right.
That really feels good, but Ialso want to be mindful that
life is lifing right now liketruly in the pits of the valley,
right?
It's funny.
Recently I was reading somereviews to my husband while he
is like a truck driver, and theytalked about a parking lot
(03:40):
where truck drivers have todrive in, how they have potholes
a size that a Volkswagen couldfit in right.
I just thought about it and I'mlike that's where I feel, like
I am sometimes in that potholestuck, and so I recognize that a
lot of people sometimes havethese same feelings and I had to
really recognize.
In another example of justriding somewhere with my husband
(04:04):
, I realized that sometimes thetraffic is slow but we still get
to our destination.
Other times this traffic issmooth sailing and we get there
faster.
But regardless of the speed,regardless of the roadblocks,
you still get there.
I think we're so programmed tothink that we're supposed to get
there fast because we havethese highways, all of the
(04:27):
different methods that we canput all these passes on our car
to kind of bypass all thetraffic.
But we don't recognize thatwhen you're growing and you're
really working on becoming thebest version of you, you can't
take the speedway, you can'talways get the pass to bypass
the bumps.
You got to go through itbecause there's so much things
(04:49):
that you learn through thevalley season.
The valley is really where yourroots deepen.
It's not where your story ends.
I know it always feels like thatbecause, trust me, I sound like
a cheerleader right now, butmany times on the journey I am
complaining.
I'm like God, I am not yourstrong one, isn't it enough?
(05:13):
And I have to remind myself.
You don't get to determine howlong is long enough, but slow
doesn't mean you're stuck.
God doesn't waste wildernessseasons, right, he is doing it
intentionally, for a reason.
Kind of going into morereflections, if you will, I
recognize that in this droughtseason that I've been in, I've
(05:33):
recognized just the access thatI've had to opportunities to
people that can really helpcatch me into the next level, if
you will right, they can beable to help propel me forward,
if you want me to say it alittle bit different.
And I've recognized that, evenin my season of not having a
(05:55):
nine to five, of being fullyobedient and fully surrendered
and making an impact on thelives of others through the work
that I do on theentrepreneurial side, I still am
not homeless.
I still have the same cars.
My kids have not missed a meal.
They might not have gone out toeat as often as they would like
.
They might not have been ableto do everything that they
(06:17):
wanted to do over the summer.
They might not have the finestand dineness, if you will.
Well, I just made up a word,right.
They might not have all thethings, but they are fine.
And I feel like it's soimportant for the seasons to
happen right, because sometimes,when we have all the tools and
we have all the means to be ableto do things, we sometimes do
(06:41):
too much and forget what theassignment really is.
So sometimes it's necessary toreally be able to remove the
things that give you access tothe things that you think you
should have and allow you tofocus on the things that you
need and what's important.
Through focusing on, like, whatyou need, what's important,
(07:02):
what's relevant, who's there,what serves you, that silence
teaches you to hear your ownvoice again.
It teaches you to really honein on God's voice, because speed
, growth and self-worth, thoseare important things and the
speed of your growth is not themeasure of your self-worth.
(07:23):
Let's start there, because somany times we think to the
analogy I provided earlier aboutbeing in the car, kind of
driving.
You think that because you'regoing fast, you're getting
somewhere, you've grown.
No, really being able to see howyou understand from an
emotional intelligenceperspective, and the way you
(07:44):
take in things and understandthat you're going to be OK, like
that is growth as well, and youcan't rush a flower to bloom
without breaking it.
So why is it that you feel likeyou need to be in a pressure?
Because you're always rushingto the next level and trust me,
I'm talking to me too there's nosuch thing as behind.
You're really just making surethat you're aligned to the
(08:06):
calling over your life and youare not your productivity.
Like, I repeat, you are notyour productivity.
True success feels like peace.
It does not feel like pressureand sometimes, having all the
things, you put unnecessarypressure on yourself and you
fail to realize what's reallyimportant.
So in my reflections, I juststarted recognizing the biggest
(08:30):
thing that I've recognized.
That is important ownershipownership of everything right,
like not buying things unlessyou can truly see yourself
owning it within a shorterperiod of time.
And that really became importantbecause, through all of the
layoffs and through everythingthat's happening in the world
right now, you see people thatown homes and are losing their
(08:52):
homes 45, 60 days.
They're in foreclosure.
If you're renting, an evictionnotice could be on your door in
days.
And you think to yourselfpeople are working so hard to
feel like they have gottennowhere.
And so what that makes merecognize is the importance of
ownership ownership of land,ownership of your intellectual
(09:13):
property, ownership of makingsure that you are securing not
just securing the bag, butinvesting in things that's going
to allow you that, when you'rein your valley season, you
actually can survive.
I'm so thankful that I'vealways been a proponent of
making sure that I'm not livingabove my means, and so we try to
(09:34):
live under one income, evenwhen it seems like things are
okay, and so, as a result, Ithink that's why I was able to
survive right 10 months of nonine to five.
But the reality is is that thatdoesn't become enough, and it
doesn't have anything to do withwhether you have a business or
(09:55):
whether you have a nine to five,because business owners are
struggling right now in thiseconomy like taking it all the
way there.
A lot of business owners arenot making the same amount of
money that they used to make,because, if the economy has
people that are laid off orthere's only one income in their
home, people are not spendingas loosely as they did, and so,
(10:18):
as a result, business are notmaking that much money, not like
they used to, and so I shareall that.
To say it then still goes backto ownership.
Regardless if you're acorporate, girly entrepreneur or
both, it is so important tomake sure that we don't put
ourselves in a space to where wecannot survive simply because
(10:39):
we're not preparing for momentslike this.
And I'm not saying live in ascarcity mindset, to where you
don't give yourself anything,you don't reward yourself.
You don't live now because I'mheavy on living now, but make
sure that when you're living now, you're truly living in the now
that you could afford andyou're not overspending or
overdoing just for validationfrom others.
(11:01):
It's truly about making surethat the person that's clapping
for you is you, because you'renot performing, you're enjoying
your life.
When it comes to peace.
And when I talk about peace, Ifeel like it's so important that
we sit in the fact thatcommunity, your circles, your
friends, your relationships,your marriage, your associates
(11:23):
they should stretch you, theyshouldn't drain you, and I think
that's one of the biggestreflections that I've had when I
think about just situations,people, places and all the
things, because every friendshiphas a season and it's okay, but
boundaries are like that.
Love it's like a backbone foryourself, right, making sure
(11:45):
that you don't expend energythat you don't have, and just
recognize that everything isreally a daily choice.
Sometimes love is staying,sometimes love is letting go of
what no longer serves youbecause you recognize that, hey,
I need peace.
This is not working, this isnot helpful, this is not going
(12:09):
to help me be my best self.
Something else that I reallywant to touch on is just how
important it is to recognizethat titles open doors, but
character keeps you in the room.
Idols open doors, but characterkeeps you in the room.
Literally, you can be let outthe door because you're a part
of a layoff but be brought backinto a room by the person who
(12:30):
let you out the door in thelayoff because of your character
.
I'll elaborate another day, butI think that is rather
interesting to know.
The job you pray for might bethe job you outgrow.
I think sometimes we're likelooking for this, we're looking
for that, we're trying to fillvoids, but the reality is you
(12:51):
are made for something so muchmore amazing than the crumbs
that you're trying to pick up,and your business should not be
growing at the expense of youburning out, like you don't want
a nine to five to burn you out,but you're allowing your
business to.
Are we doing things?
Yes, I'm asking a question Arewe doing things that is just
(13:12):
showing that we're busy?
Are we doing things thatactually makes an impact, makes
a difference on ourselves and onothers?
I just want you to rememberthat your name is a brand long
before you ever have a logo andyou cannot scale chaos.
So you got to fix thefoundation first, because
ownership means choosing whatyou won't compromise right, and
(13:36):
you don't want to compromiseyour peace or none of it.
You just got to know your why,because that's your insurance
against quitting.
I think that was one of mybiggest reflections is because
of the fact that I knew my why.
I wasn't going to give up.
It did not matter what valley,how deep the ditch was, I'm
still going to stand up and passthis test and I want you to do
(13:57):
the same thing.
I want you to really reflect onwhether or not the things that
you're doing is aligned with whoyou are, so that your insurance
keeps you against quitting, itmakes sure that you protect your
ideas and you keep going.
I'm heavy on listening tounderstand and not trying to
respond to everything.
That is a reflection, because Ithink sometimes during the
(14:19):
valley and when we're at themountaintop, sometimes you try
to think you understand stuff,but it really takes pause,
isolation, quietness, torecognize the why behind things,
and that's really trusting yourvoice.
That's really reflecting onyour circumstances and looking
at the lessons, having the hardconversations and just realizing
(14:42):
that you know what Silence is,also communication.
Since we're talking aboutreflections, of course I had to
reflect on grief, because itchanges you, but it also grows
you.
I realized so much in my griefjourney with my mom that I have
completely changed as a person.
I am not the vibrant personthat is just all about pouring
(15:03):
into everyone else and notthinking about myself.
I have moments where I'm quietand I don't want to talk to
anyone.
Not because I am alone ordepressed or sad and sometimes I
do get that way but for themost part, it is because I
recognize that I don't have tobe on all the time, I don't have
(15:24):
to do all the time, I don'thave to prove at all.
I am enough, just being me, andthat stress that comes with
everything being everything toeveryone.
Yeah, y'all could keep that.
I'm good, because your bodykeeps score and you got to
listen to it, especially sinceI've been in perimenopause since
(15:48):
2016.
So I'm not doing anything thattriggers, it, causes more issues
or any other things.
Guys, we got to talk aboutmenopause because I keep telling
y'all about my menopausalissues or perimenopausal issues,
and it is a whole thing.
We need an episode on that.
Right, I need to bring on aguest expert on that.
(16:09):
Hmm, ideas, ideas.
I don't know about you, but I'vereally recognized that mindset
shifts can sometimes be morepowerful than milestones, and
you know that gratitude thatturns not enough into more than
enough is really something else,because it just really allows
you to realize that, man, I'mactually okay, I actually don't
(16:34):
need to do the thing, I actuallydon't need to be the thing,
because I'm already the thingright, and I feel like that
Psalms 23,.
It really hits different whenyou walk through the valley.
You're like, oh, this is whathe's talking about.
Oh, he did warn me about this,but, my God, it is so different
(16:56):
in theory than when you're goingthrough it and there's
different levels, right,different levels of being in the
trenches, and it's just sointeresting to continue to live
and talk about it, to be able toshow like, hey, you can get
through whatever it is thatyou're going through.
And I think, for me, what I haveto constantly remind myself
(17:16):
when you think about mindsetshifts is that my valley season.
I still live in a house, Istill have internet, I still
have I never had cable before,but I have, like all those
little subscriptions and stuff.
Right, I still have a phone, Istill have water, I still have
food, I still have a car and I'mI'm still, I'm still, I'm still
, I'm still, I'm still, I'mstill, I'm still, I'm still.
You're calling it the valleyseason because it is like, my
(17:40):
God it is.
I've not been in this seasonsince probably about 13 years
ago.
It's the last time I've been ina season similar to this, but I
still feel like this season wasway harder than even that
season, and so I share that tosay, then I have to remember,
like, girl, your valley issomeone's high.
Like are you seriouslycomplaining right now?
(18:02):
And then for me it's like, ohGod, jesus, I wasn't built for
the valley, right?
Like, can we do what ourancestors did?
Because their version of thevalley is completely different
than our version of the valley,right?
But I just think it's soimportant that I'm so
transparent, because beingunderstood as a gift it's really
(18:23):
not a guarantee.
And I want to make sure thatI'm open about the experience,
because isolation has sometimesgot a way of making the
conversation one-on-one.
But when you feel like you'realone and you feel like no one
else understands, sometimes thatleaves you feeling
misunderstood and that isolationmakes it to where you can't
(18:44):
have the clarity that you need.
So I think sometimes a doubledose of you sitting with God but
also recognizing that you'renot alone, provides the clarity
that you need to reallyunderstand why that obedience is
so important.
Because you know, like they say, clarity comes after obedience,
(19:05):
not before, and so I reallywant to make sure that you
recognize that, like throughyour obedience, like you're
going to see the why and everytest you pass becomes a part of
your testimony for someone elseor someone else.
It's not for you, right.
It's using your gifts to serveothers, because the reality is,
every test you pass becomes atestimony for someone else, and
(19:28):
that's why I'm so transparent,because I'm not going through
any of the things for nothing.
God's too intentional, it's allfor something, and this new
chapter isn't about having allthe answers.
It's about living out thelessons.
Like I pray.
These reflections that I'veshared with you just really meet
you where you are, whetheryou're in the valley, climbing a
mountain, standing at a newbeginning, on the mountaintop,
(19:54):
wherever it's a split.
Let's talk about that, becausemany times on this journey
within the last year, I feltlike man in the flesh.
I am in the valley, but in thespirit, I am at the mountain top
, and I don't know who couldrelate to that, because that is
a thing.
I've experienced it, I've livedit, I am living it.
(20:15):
I sound like Oprah, listen.
I am living it Really.
I just want you to make surethat you know that you're not
alone.
This is the beginning ofsomething great Like.
It's going to be bigger andbetter than you could ever
imagine.
So save this episode for whenyou need to hear it again.
If one reflection spoke to you,send it to a friend, share the
(20:39):
episode.
You might be the reason thatthey don't give up today.
Because, let's be real, you'vehad many moments where you
wanted to give up, just likeI've had many moments that I've
wanted to give up.
But just know that thesereflections are important
because through the lessons,we're able to level up and get
(21:00):
the blessings and be a blessing.
And these lessons aren't mine.
They belong to anyone who'sready to grow.
So let's spread them, because Ididn't write down all these
little points right.
I had little points to makesure I touched on and I wrote
them because I survived them,and if you're listening, I want
you to know that you can survivethem too.
(21:22):
So subscribe on YouTube because,yes, we are in our video era.
There's, I think, threeepisodes prior to this one
already on YouTube and severalothers coming following this
that are on video.
So if you're that video girlyor guy who likes to see the
thing and feel the energy, checkus out on YouTube at Redefining
the Future.
You or just search KZLack andSimran.
(21:44):
You'll find me right.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast on all streaming
platforms and I really want tomake sure that you don't miss
out on the conversation and youpick up wherever this one leaves
or go back and listen to allthe episodes.
I invite you to DM me onInstagram at Workplace Therapy
Experience, because I do hostevents.
(22:04):
If you did not know, I have onein October of 2025, several in
2026.
I just need you to know tostart owning your magic and
knowing that you're not aloneand keep going, keep growing,
keep betting on you and knowingthat it's not all for nothing.
It's all for something becauseGod is too intentional.
(22:27):
I'll meet you at themountaintop.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I hope this episode provided you so much value, gave
you everything you came here toget.
Please make sure you'resubscribed, whether you're
listening to us on AppleiHeartRadio, spotify, audible,
all the things or YouTube Listen, or YouTube no-transcript.
Welcome to.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a
healthcare leader, wife, momand career coach.
If you're big on authenticity,personal development,
perseverance and transparency,you're in the right place.
Get ready to be uplifted,inspired and empowered as you
(00:23):
become fearless in pursuit ofthe life you desire and deserve.
Our goal is to help you levelup by creating a safe space to
learn and reflect, whilelistening to transparent stories
from our host or successfulprofessionals and business
owners who've agreed to sharethe parts of success that
typically gets X'd out on socialmedia, because that's the part
(00:46):
you need to see and hear theprocess.
Go ahead and subscribe.
You don't want to miss out onthese transparent stories and
discussions that reveal highs,lows, aha moments and nuggets
that'll help you to grow andglow.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hey, hey, hey.
You are now tuned in to theit's the Human Experience
podcast.
I'm your host, hazel Brown, andtoday yes, we're not on video
because I don't need you to seemy face for you to know it's
real.
Today, I want you to hear myvoice.
I turned 40 lessons into 40reflections, from the valleys
(01:33):
that I thought I'd never climbout of, to the moments that made
me realize that this is whatgrowth really feels like, and I
just want you to be able to takethese in and run with them,
without really focusing on who,what, whatever the case may be.
And I want you to be able toreally take in everything that
I'm saying, because when I lookback at where I've started, the
(01:55):
slow seasons, the misunderstoodseasons, the lonely seasons, I
realized that they were allshaping me for where I am now.
If you don't know, my name isHazel Brown.
I'm the host of it's the HumanExperience podcast and, in light
of me celebrating 40 chaptersin this world, right, I figured
(02:16):
I might as well write down 40reflections that really carried
me through some of my valleys,some of my victories, just
things that I can hope that youcould take, just to remind you
that you're not alone.
You're still growing and you'reright where you need to be.
I don't know about you, but I'min a space where, even when
(02:37):
life lies, I'm so full ofgratitude.
I still recognize that God isstill with me through it all.
And so, for me, the biggestpart that I want to start with
right is my valley season.
I really still feel like I'm inmy valley season and I think
it's so strange because on theoutside, people tell me how
(02:58):
they're proud of me.
They send me all of thisinformation about oh my God,
like you're doing thisCongratulations me, all of this
information about oh my God,like you're doing this,
congratulations.
And you know, if you've beenlistening to the podcast all 80
something episodes then you knowmy love language is definitely
affirmations.
So I'm here for it.
I appreciate being heard, seen,valued and being told the
(03:20):
impact that I'm making on yourlife, right.
That really feels good, but Ialso want to be mindful that
life is lifing right now liketruly in the pits of the valley,
right?
It's funny.
Recently I was reading somereviews to my husband while he
is like a truck driver, and theytalked about a parking lot
(03:40):
where truck drivers have todrive in, how they have potholes
a size that a Volkswagen couldfit in right.
I just thought about it and I'mlike that's where I feel, like
I am sometimes in that potholestuck, and so I recognize that a
lot of people sometimes havethese same feelings and I had to
really recognize.
In another example of justriding somewhere with my husband
(04:04):
, I realized that sometimes thetraffic is slow but we still get
to our destination.
Other times this traffic issmooth sailing and we get there
faster.
But regardless of the speed,regardless of the roadblocks,
you still get there.
I think we're so programmed tothink that we're supposed to get
there fast because we havethese highways, all of the
(04:27):
different methods that we canput all these passes on our car
to kind of bypass all thetraffic.
But we don't recognize thatwhen you're growing and you're
really working on becoming thebest version of you, you can't
take the speedway, you can'talways get the pass to bypass
the bumps.
You got to go through itbecause there's so much things
(04:49):
that you learn through thevalley season.
The valley is really where yourroots deepen.
It's not where your story ends.
I know it always feels like thatbecause, trust me, I sound like
a cheerleader right now, butmany times on the journey I am
complaining.
I'm like God, I am not yourstrong one, isn't it enough?
(05:13):
And I have to remind myself.
You don't get to determine howlong is long enough, but slow
doesn't mean you're stuck.
God doesn't waste wildernessseasons, right, he is doing it
intentionally, for a reason.
Kind of going into morereflections, if you will, I
recognize that in this droughtseason that I've been in, I've
(05:33):
recognized just the access thatI've had to opportunities to
people that can really helpcatch me into the next level, if
you will right, they can beable to help propel me forward,
if you want me to say it alittle bit different.
And I've recognized that, evenin my season of not having a
(05:55):
nine to five, of being fullyobedient and fully surrendered
and making an impact on thelives of others through the work
that I do on theentrepreneurial side, I still am
not homeless.
I still have the same cars.
My kids have not missed a meal.
They might not have gone out toeat as often as they would like
.
They might not have been ableto do everything that they
(06:17):
wanted to do over the summer.
They might not have the finestand dineness, if you will.
Well, I just made up a word,right.
They might not have all thethings, but they are fine.
And I feel like it's soimportant for the seasons to
happen right, because sometimes,when we have all the tools and
we have all the means to be ableto do things, we sometimes do
(06:41):
too much and forget what theassignment really is.
So sometimes it's necessary toreally be able to remove the
things that give you access tothe things that you think you
should have and allow you tofocus on the things that you
need and what's important.
Through focusing on, like, whatyou need, what's important,
(07:02):
what's relevant, who's there,what serves you, that silence
teaches you to hear your ownvoice again.
It teaches you to really honein on God's voice, because speed
, growth and self-worth, thoseare important things and the
speed of your growth is not themeasure of your self-worth.
(07:23):
Let's start there, because somany times we think to the
analogy I provided earlier aboutbeing in the car, kind of
driving.
You think that because you'regoing fast, you're getting
somewhere, you've grown.
No, really being able to see howyou understand from an
emotional intelligenceperspective, and the way you
(07:44):
take in things and understandthat you're going to be OK, like
that is growth as well, and youcan't rush a flower to bloom
without breaking it.
So why is it that you feel likeyou need to be in a pressure?
Because you're always rushingto the next level and trust me,
I'm talking to me too there's nosuch thing as behind.
You're really just making surethat you're aligned to the
(08:06):
calling over your life and youare not your productivity.
Like, I repeat, you are notyour productivity.
True success feels like peace.
It does not feel like pressureand sometimes, having all the
things, you put unnecessarypressure on yourself and you
fail to realize what's reallyimportant.
So in my reflections, I juststarted recognizing the biggest
(08:30):
thing that I've recognized.
That is important ownershipownership of everything right,
like not buying things unlessyou can truly see yourself
owning it within a shorterperiod of time.
And that really became importantbecause, through all of the
layoffs and through everythingthat's happening in the world
right now, you see people thatown homes and are losing their
(08:52):
homes 45, 60 days.
They're in foreclosure.
If you're renting, an evictionnotice could be on your door in
days.
And you think to yourselfpeople are working so hard to
feel like they have gottennowhere.
And so what that makes merecognize is the importance of
ownership ownership of land,ownership of your intellectual
(09:13):
property, ownership of makingsure that you are securing not
just securing the bag, butinvesting in things that's going
to allow you that, when you'rein your valley season, you
actually can survive.
I'm so thankful that I'vealways been a proponent of
making sure that I'm not livingabove my means, and so we try to
(09:34):
live under one income, evenwhen it seems like things are
okay, and so, as a result, Ithink that's why I was able to
survive right 10 months of nonine to five.
But the reality is is that thatdoesn't become enough, and it
doesn't have anything to do withwhether you have a business or
(09:55):
whether you have a nine to five,because business owners are
struggling right now in thiseconomy like taking it all the
way there.
A lot of business owners arenot making the same amount of
money that they used to make,because, if the economy has
people that are laid off orthere's only one income in their
home, people are not spendingas loosely as they did, and so,
(10:18):
as a result, business are notmaking that much money, not like
they used to, and so I shareall that.
To say it then still goes backto ownership.
Regardless if you're acorporate, girly entrepreneur or
both, it is so important tomake sure that we don't put
ourselves in a space to where wecannot survive simply because
(10:39):
we're not preparing for momentslike this.
And I'm not saying live in ascarcity mindset, to where you
don't give yourself anything,you don't reward yourself.
You don't live now because I'mheavy on living now, but make
sure that when you're living now, you're truly living in the now
that you could afford andyou're not overspending or
overdoing just for validationfrom others.
(11:01):
It's truly about making surethat the person that's clapping
for you is you, because you'renot performing, you're enjoying
your life.
When it comes to peace.
And when I talk about peace, Ifeel like it's so important that
we sit in the fact thatcommunity, your circles, your
friends, your relationships,your marriage, your associates
(11:23):
they should stretch you, theyshouldn't drain you, and I think
that's one of the biggestreflections that I've had when I
think about just situations,people, places and all the
things, because every friendshiphas a season and it's okay, but
boundaries are like that.
Love it's like a backbone foryourself, right, making sure
(11:45):
that you don't expend energythat you don't have, and just
recognize that everything isreally a daily choice.
Sometimes love is staying,sometimes love is letting go of
what no longer serves youbecause you recognize that, hey,
I need peace.
This is not working, this isnot helpful, this is not going
(12:09):
to help me be my best self.
Something else that I reallywant to touch on is just how
important it is to recognizethat titles open doors, but
character keeps you in the room.
Idols open doors, but characterkeeps you in the room.
Literally, you can be let outthe door because you're a part
of a layoff but be brought backinto a room by the person who
(12:30):
let you out the door in thelayoff because of your character
.
I'll elaborate another day, butI think that is rather
interesting to know.
The job you pray for might bethe job you outgrow.
I think sometimes we're likelooking for this, we're looking
for that, we're trying to fillvoids, but the reality is you
(12:51):
are made for something so muchmore amazing than the crumbs
that you're trying to pick up,and your business should not be
growing at the expense of youburning out, like you don't want
a nine to five to burn you out,but you're allowing your
business to.
Are we doing things?
Yes, I'm asking a question Arewe doing things that is just
(13:12):
showing that we're busy?
Are we doing things thatactually makes an impact, makes
a difference on ourselves and onothers?
I just want you to rememberthat your name is a brand long
before you ever have a logo andyou cannot scale chaos.
So you got to fix thefoundation first, because
ownership means choosing whatyou won't compromise right, and
(13:36):
you don't want to compromiseyour peace or none of it.
You just got to know your why,because that's your insurance
against quitting.
I think that was one of mybiggest reflections is because
of the fact that I knew my why.
I wasn't going to give up.
It did not matter what valley,how deep the ditch was, I'm
still going to stand up and passthis test and I want you to do
(13:57):
the same thing.
I want you to really reflect onwhether or not the things that
you're doing is aligned with whoyou are, so that your insurance
keeps you against quitting, itmakes sure that you protect your
ideas and you keep going.
I'm heavy on listening tounderstand and not trying to
respond to everything.
That is a reflection, because Ithink sometimes during the
(14:19):
valley and when we're at themountaintop, sometimes you try
to think you understand stuff,but it really takes pause,
isolation, quietness, torecognize the why behind things,
and that's really trusting yourvoice.
That's really reflecting onyour circumstances and looking
at the lessons, having the hardconversations and just realizing
(14:42):
that you know what Silence is,also communication.
Since we're talking aboutreflections, of course I had to
reflect on grief, because itchanges you, but it also grows
you.
I realized so much in my griefjourney with my mom that I have
completely changed as a person.
I am not the vibrant personthat is just all about pouring
(15:03):
into everyone else and notthinking about myself.
I have moments where I'm quietand I don't want to talk to
anyone.
Not because I am alone ordepressed or sad and sometimes I
do get that way but for themost part, it is because I
recognize that I don't have tobe on all the time, I don't have
(15:24):
to do all the time, I don'thave to prove at all.
I am enough, just being me, andthat stress that comes with
everything being everything toeveryone.
Yeah, y'all could keep that.
I'm good, because your bodykeeps score and you got to
listen to it, especially sinceI've been in perimenopause since
(15:48):
2016.
So I'm not doing anything thattriggers, it, causes more issues
or any other things.
Guys, we got to talk aboutmenopause because I keep telling
y'all about my menopausalissues or perimenopausal issues,
and it is a whole thing.
We need an episode on that.
Right, I need to bring on aguest expert on that.
(16:09):
Hmm, ideas, ideas.
I don't know about you, but I'vereally recognized that mindset
shifts can sometimes be morepowerful than milestones, and
you know that gratitude thatturns not enough into more than
enough is really something else,because it just really allows
you to realize that, man, I'mactually okay, I actually don't
(16:34):
need to do the thing, I actuallydon't need to be the thing,
because I'm already the thingright, and I feel like that
Psalms 23,.
It really hits different whenyou walk through the valley.
You're like, oh, this is whathe's talking about.
Oh, he did warn me about this,but, my God, it is so different
(16:56):
in theory than when you're goingthrough it and there's
different levels, right,different levels of being in the
trenches, and it's just sointeresting to continue to live
and talk about it, to be able toshow like, hey, you can get
through whatever it is thatyou're going through.
And I think, for me, what I haveto constantly remind myself
(17:16):
when you think about mindsetshifts is that my valley season.
I still live in a house, Istill have internet, I still
have I never had cable before,but I have, like all those
little subscriptions and stuff.
Right, I still have a phone, Istill have water, I still have
food, I still have a car and I'mI'm still, I'm still, I'm still
, I'm still, I'm still, I'mstill, I'm still, I'm still.
You're calling it the valleyseason because it is like, my
(17:40):
God it is.
I've not been in this seasonsince probably about 13 years
ago.
It's the last time I've been ina season similar to this, but I
still feel like this season wasway harder than even that
season, and so I share that tosay, then I have to remember,
like, girl, your valley issomeone's high.
Like are you seriouslycomplaining right now?
(18:02):
And then for me it's like, ohGod, jesus, I wasn't built for
the valley, right?
Like, can we do what ourancestors did?
Because their version of thevalley is completely different
than our version of the valley,right?
But I just think it's soimportant that I'm so
transparent, because beingunderstood as a gift it's really
(18:23):
not a guarantee.
And I want to make sure thatI'm open about the experience,
because isolation has sometimesgot a way of making the
conversation one-on-one.
But when you feel like you'realone and you feel like no one
else understands, sometimes thatleaves you feeling
misunderstood and that isolationmakes it to where you can't
(18:44):
have the clarity that you need.
So I think sometimes a doubledose of you sitting with God but
also recognizing that you'renot alone, provides the clarity
that you need to reallyunderstand why that obedience is
so important.
Because you know, like they say, clarity comes after obedience,
(19:05):
not before, and so I reallywant to make sure that you
recognize that, like throughyour obedience, like you're
going to see the why and everytest you pass becomes a part of
your testimony for someone elseor someone else.
It's not for you, right.
It's using your gifts to serveothers, because the reality is,
every test you pass becomes atestimony for someone else, and
(19:28):
that's why I'm so transparent,because I'm not going through
any of the things for nothing.
God's too intentional, it's allfor something, and this new
chapter isn't about having allthe answers.
It's about living out thelessons.
Like I pray.
These reflections that I'veshared with you just really meet
you where you are, whetheryou're in the valley, climbing a
mountain, standing at a newbeginning, on the mountaintop,
(19:54):
wherever it's a split.
Let's talk about that, becausemany times on this journey
within the last year, I feltlike man in the flesh.
I am in the valley, but in thespirit, I am at the mountain top
, and I don't know who couldrelate to that, because that is
a thing.
I've experienced it, I've livedit, I am living it.
(20:15):
I sound like Oprah, listen.
I am living it Really.
I just want you to make surethat you know that you're not
alone.
This is the beginning ofsomething great Like.
It's going to be bigger andbetter than you could ever
imagine.
So save this episode for whenyou need to hear it again.
If one reflection spoke to you,send it to a friend, share the
(20:39):
episode.
You might be the reason thatthey don't give up today.
Because, let's be real, you'vehad many moments where you
wanted to give up, just likeI've had many moments that I've
wanted to give up.
But just know that thesereflections are important
because through the lessons,we're able to level up and get
(21:00):
the blessings and be a blessing.
And these lessons aren't mine.
They belong to anyone who'sready to grow.
So let's spread them, because Ididn't write down all these
little points right.
I had little points to makesure I touched on and I wrote
them because I survived them,and if you're listening, I want
you to know that you can survivethem too.
(21:22):
So subscribe on YouTube because,yes, we are in our video era.
There's, I think, threeepisodes prior to this one
already on YouTube and severalothers coming following this
that are on video.
So if you're that video girlyor guy who likes to see the
thing and feel the energy, checkus out on YouTube at Redefining
the Future.
You or just search KZLack andSimran.
(21:44):
You'll find me right.
It's the Human ExperiencePodcast on all streaming
platforms and I really want tomake sure that you don't miss
out on the conversation and youpick up wherever this one leaves
or go back and listen to allthe episodes.
I invite you to DM me onInstagram at Workplace Therapy
Experience, because I do hostevents.
(22:04):
If you did not know, I have onein October of 2025, several in
2026.
I just need you to know tostart owning your magic and
knowing that you're not aloneand keep going, keep growing,
keep betting on you and knowingthat it's not all for nothing.
It's all for something becauseGod is too intentional.
(22:27):
I'll meet you at themountaintop.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
We hope you caught all those gems.
So here for all of it.
Be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss a gem.
Write a review so that we knowto keep bringing you episodes
like this.
And check us out online atitsthehumanexperiencecom to keep
up with us.
Keep growing and glowing.
Catch you on the next episode.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I hope this episode provided you so much value, gave
you everything you came here toget.
Please make sure you'resubscribed, whether you're
listening to us on AppleiHeartRadio, spotify, audible,
all the things or YouTube Listen, or YouTube no-transcript.
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