Honesty in Marriage with Daniel and Michelle Moore - 18 - It's Time to Rise Up

Episode Transcript
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Kim McIntire (00:08):
Hey everyone, welcome to the it's Time to Rise
Up podcast.
I'm your host, Kim McIntire.
We know there are so manythings you can do with your time
.
Thank you for choosing to spendyour time listening today.
We pray you're encouraged bywhat is shared.
If you're not familiar with ourshow, check out our website at
itstimetoriseuporg where you'llfind our social media links and

(00:32):
for our podcast platforms.
You'll find us on YouTube,apple Podcasts, spotify and
anywhere else you find yourpodcast.
We would humbly ask you tosubscribe, leave a comment or
give us a review on ApplePodcast.
Thank you again for joining ustoday.
Today I'm looking forward to aconversation with Daniel and

(00:53):
Michelle Moore.
They have both been guestsbefore, when Michelle shared her
testimony from last year'sconference and Daniel shared his
perspective on the conferenceas well, but today they are here
to talk about marriage.
This is the second interview ofthree from different couples
that are willing to share thehard things God has brought them

(01:14):
through.
Testimony means do it again, sowe pray what you hear will lead
to a testimony of your own,especially if you're facing
struggles in your own marriageor know someone who is.
So let's jump in and find out afew things about you guys.
Why don't you introduce youguys, daniel?

Daniel Moore (01:35):
Okay, well, I'm Daniel Daniel Moore.

Hi Daniel, Welcome back.

My beautiful wife Michelle's over here.

Michelle Moore (01:42):
Hey, Michelle.

I'll kind of let her start off and give some
facts and figures about us andour marriage.

All right.
So, as Kim said, we've been onhere before, so some of you guys
got to hear my testimony andhow God changed my heart and
being able to speak out on thepodcast the marriage podcast
that we've done yeah, able tospeak out on the podcast the
marriage podcast that we've done.
Dan and I have been married for23 years now and some of those
roads were rocky but, bless theLord, we're here and going

(02:12):
strong and we're kind ofthinking we think too much alike
, a little A lot actually.
We have three children, ablended family, and Jacob and
Jeremiah are mine and Brooklynis his, but we claim them as
ours, that's right.
And we have a son-in-law andthen a daughter-in-law and three

(02:34):
babies, grandbabies, all girls,and we have one getting ready
to be born in August.
Congratulations, so excited.
Another girl.

I'm outnumbered.

You are.
I've got to go put the quarterIn the best kind of way though,
right.

I've got to find that quarter machine somewhere
and make sure I get that quarterin that slot.

Oh, my word.

I need a boy.

That's so funny.
Actually, I would like a boytoo, so I grew up with three
brothers.

And he grew up with brothers hey, maybe someday
, maybe someday, guys, we'reholding out.
Don't give up hope.

But Dan and I have been through a lot, as we
have said, and we are sothankful that God has been a big
part of our restoring ourmarriage, the restoration part
of it and we've grown a lottogether, and doing the podcast
has a different level of growingtogether.

Yeah, for sure, daniel, talk about that a little
bit.

Yeah.
So for about almost going intofive years now going into my
fifth year I've been doing apodcast and originally it was
Connecting the Gap and it wasbasically Bible study type stuff
and interviews and that kind ofthing study type stuff and
interviews and that kind ofthing.
Well, here this last fall Ifinally talked my wife into
joining me after I tried a fewtimes and she kept telling me no

(03:50):
, and she finally decided to dothat.
She felt like God gave her apiece in her heart to go ahead
and do that.
So I've been wanting to do amarriage series with her and so
that came to pass and it wasabout four months, I think that
that series lasted.
In the process of that Godredirected it all and basically

(04:12):
we've kind of flipped it to amarriage platform now.
So now it's called Marriage,life and More.

I love that With.

Connecting the Gap Ministries, because I still do
Bible study stuff and that kindof thing as well.
I just kind of mix that all inthere with it.

Yeah.

So we're taking off on that journey now.
Then, of course, here recently,her and I have gotten certified
with Simba's assessment to beable to do premarital counseling
.

now Wonderful and even post-marriage stuff.
Yeah.

So we work with the Marriage 911 program at
church.
Awesome, Her and I are thecoaches over that.
So it's just crazy all thedoors that since we've just
since this podcast has flipped.

I mean this is what happens when you say yes to
God.

It's crazy.

All kinds of doors open.

Oh yeah.

It has truly been that.

It has.

Since you rise up and ever since God healed my
heart and moved into that door.
I mean we kind of laugh aboutit, but it's really not a
laughing thing.
I mean God has truly just beenin front of us and he was just
waiting for me to get out of theway.

Yeah, Look what the Lord has done.

That's right and I think you know there was a
portion of time there that therewas growth in me as well.

Sure.

So I think you know God has his timing for
everything and even though Iwanted it a year or two ago,
that wasn't in the plan at thattime.
Obviously, with God's plans,and I'm thankful too that it
didn't happen that soon, becauseI've had a lot of all those
years I had a chance to get thegrowth part in and get I've had
a lot of all those years I had achance to get the growth part

(05:48):
in and get you know all theprocess figured out and all that
kind of thing before we decidedto go together.

So yes, oh, absolutely.

That is for sure.
Yes, I mean In many ways.

In many ways that's so good.
So 23 years of marriage andwhen you look over that span of
time would you say most of thoseyears have been successful
years of marriage no.
See, we value honesty at RiseUp, we value honesty.

I guess it depends on how you define most.

Yeah, yeah, I guess it depends on how you
define most.

Yeah, we did have a I would.
I think we probably had moreyears at this point that were
probably successful.

Oh yeah, I think so now.

Because we're in, you know, 23 years.
We're into the ways now.
So I think we're beyond that50-50 point, I would say the
last 15 years have been thesuccessful part for us.

Yeah, and definitely we've learned a lot,
especially putting God at thecenter.
Yeah, I mean.

About the first six to seven years was our rough
period.

It was very rough.

And so once we got past that point, it started
going the opposite direction,and then it's just gradually
gotten better as times wentalong.
So we've definitely, definitelywalked our walk, no doubt about
it.

Well, one thing that I pick up on when I'm
listening to your podcastbecause I'm a fan and I've
shared many episodes but thetheme that has run through so
many of those episodes has beenhonesty and communication and
the importance of that, and oneof the questions I was going to
ask you guys was how would youdefine a successful marriage?

(07:27):
But would you guys agree,honesty and communication are
key.
Oh, absolutely.

I mean, I think, if you don't have it and you
know, honesty is being open.
Like you're vulnerable, you'retalking, you're being yourself.
Open like you're vulnerable,you're talking, you're being
yourself.
There's no hey, daniel, I'mgoing to do this, or, you know,
because he's actually wanting todo something.
I'm going to do it because hewants to do it or I'm kind of

(07:55):
going with him.
I'm not being what's on theinside.
I really don't want to do that,and let's talk about it.
Can we meet in the middle,honestly?
There were so many things,though, too, that we held back
from each other, and so, I think, being a lot of walls, yes, and
just being able to communicatethat it goes hand in hand, yeah.

I'll tell you what's interesting about this
question, just to kind of giveyou an idea how her and I are on
the same thought plane.
It's really scary.
She did her notes for this andI did mine separately.
We did not converse on thesenotes at all that we both made,
and the one thing that both ofus came up with on this question
was put God in the center.

When I looked.
She sent me her notes today andI looked at that and I'm like
she's reading my mail again.

Yeah, you know.
And when?

people say, put God in the center.
I think some people understandwhat that means.
But for someone who's listening, who actually doesn't know,
like okay, what would thatactually look like?
Or how do you actually make Godthe center?
What would you guys speak intothat?

Really there's a little short line that just kind
of encompasses all of it.
You make God the foundation ofyour marriage and everything
that you do.
If you do that, then everythingelse is going to fall into
place, because anytime that weleave ourselves in the equation
and we value our thought process, our ideas and our decisions

(09:29):
over what God's decisions andHis thought process is, nine
times out of ten you're going toend up going down a wrong fork
in the road.
It's just not going to work out, and so, in order to put God at
the center of all of that, wehave to take ourselves out of it
.
You know we can't be in frontof Him if he's going to be the
actual center of that, and so Ithink once people can understand

(09:51):
how to seek God's guidance andHis wisdom, his grace, invite
Him into the marriage to be thatthird will.
If you want to say let Him leadand guide you in everything
about your relationship, thenyou can't go wrong, because he
is the ultimate wisdom.

Right.

And he created marriage and I think a lot of
people forget that.
You know, we all get marriedand we think, okay, well, we got
to get the license and get thepastor and get the church and
the decorations.
All of that is the worldly sideof it, but in all reality, all
of that comes together to createsomething that's very spiritual
.
Yeah, and a lot of people don'tthink of that part of it

(10:30):
because they're so excited andgiddy about getting their life
started together and thehoneymoon and the kids in the
future and all that stuff, andthat's understandable.
You know that's part of theequation, but we can't forget
that the actual foundation ofeverything that's taking place
at that moment has to beGod-oriented, and you know
that's anything to add to that.

No, and I would also say that you know your
personal, intimate relationshipneeds to be strong, right,
because if you don't have that,how can you put God in the
center?
You have to work on yourself,yeah, and then you know your
husband, if you're married, thento work on himself, and then
that's where you meet and youmake sure that he's in the
center over your marriage tomake sure that he's guiding,

(11:15):
directing and giving us thewisdom that we need every day
over the marriage and thedecisions that we make daily.
Sure, absolutely.

Well, I would just love to hear from you guys
about your journey, wherever youwant to start.
You know you said the first six, seven years were pretty
difficult.
I don't know how much on thatyou want to talk about, but
let's just open it up to thatopportunity to share.
Just remember, there is a timelimit on this.

(11:45):
That's true.

How do we get six?

years and 20 minutes.

He'll go on.
Short version Ward Shortversion.
Okay.

So we've actually narrowed this down because we've
all agreed to talk abouthonesty in marriage.
So that kind of narrows it downjust a little bit to try to
keep it, you know, within a goodtime frame.
But honesty in marriage, youknow, it plays a crucial role in

(12:13):
any marriage because it formsthat foundation of trust and
that intimacy that you're goingto have between both partners.
And if you can't be honest withyour partner, then obviously
that trust is not going to bethere, because something's going
to happen that's going todamage that trust More often
that that happens.
Then things start to crumble,that foundation starts to fall
apart, true?

(12:34):
So then you start having allthese issues and everything
starts going backwards.
So I probably was the one thatreally started with the
dishonest part of our marriage,because whenever we got married,
I had been single for aboutfive years and during that time
frame I had several differentgirls that I dated.
They were very short-livedrelationships but and several of

(12:57):
them weren't, you know, when webroke up we were still friends.
You know, it wasn't like it wasa bad deal, and so some of them
I had friendships with.
When her and I got together andyou know, one of the first
things that I did.
One of the first rules that Ibroke whenever we got married
was I tried to hang on to someof those friendships and bring

(13:18):
them into the marriage withouttelling her because I knew that
if I told her that she would beupset about it.
So there, my first balance wasoff.
You know, instead of puttingall of my focus where it should
have been towards our marriage Ifocused where it should have
been towards our marriage andyou know, michelle is my new
spouse.
I was trying to balance thewill there and I was letting the

(13:40):
friends have the same or moreof an effect in my life, or, you
know, an influence, I guess youcould say and I was willing to
balance that and try to hide it.
And especially with oneparticular person, that
friendship continued on.
I was talking to her behindMichelle's back and one day it

(14:05):
was getting harder and harder tohide the conversations and
nothing intimate had happened orany of that kind of thing.
But I had broken the rules ofdiscussing.
We had started to have someissue with the blended situation
.
I had a daughter, she had twoboys.
We're trying to blend thesekids together and personalities

(14:26):
were clashing and we were havingsome issues.
It was very frustrating to meand I was having difficulty
trying to figure out how tohandle that.
There's no handbook for ablended marriage on what you do
when you put your, you justthink, oh we're going to get
married and it's going to befine.

We never searched it.

Yeah, we never found it.

You were winging it, we were winging it.

Definitely winging it.

And it was failing super fast.
We were crashing towards theend as winging.

It often does fail fast A person who knows from
experience.
I say that.

And so you know I was starting to talk to her
about my marital problems andthat's a no-no, that's a big
no-no, especially the oppositesex.
Absolutely that's somethingthat should never happen,
because the opposite sex,especially if it's the guy
talking to the girl, they'revery emotional and they get
emotionally involved at thatpoint and that relationship can
start flipping and there canstart being feelings there and

(15:18):
they can, they can want to comein and try to, you know, soothe
your pain and be that bestieright there that's going to help
you through things and whateverand before you know it, bad
things can happen.
And it just so happened.
One day I was planning on goingto her house to work on a
computer and she had called meon the phone and we had cordless

(15:40):
.
You know, back in the day whenthere were cordless landlines
there was no cell phones, yeah.
Those are those ancient relics.
We had some of those and itrang.
I answered it and it was hers.
I was sneaking around cornerstrying to talk, real quiet and
whatever I didn't know it.
But Michelle had picked up theother handset and was standing
in the front yard listening tothe whole conversation and next

(16:02):
thing I know the front door'sbusting open and she's running
and yelling at me and I've got aphone flying right into my
chest.

Oh, wow.

And I'm like oh, I'm like.
I am in trouble.

As you should be.

Oh yeah.

And that was just the beginning of many
problems.
Really at that point, and Ithink you know the biggest lie
for me that really did me in waswhen he was very dishonest
about I wanted to have a babyand he had said, yes, let's do
it, but then prior you know,before we got married, I was all
for it.
But once we got married hedidn't tell me that though, but
I think the part that reallyhurt me the most is he went into

(16:45):
the doctor to get fixed and Iwas like, no, we're not doing
this, but he actually talked meinto signing it because he lied
to me.

I manipulated her, yeah, and it hurt me.

It hurt me really bad because I really
wanted another one.
I wanted ours together and inthe long run it worked out
because we didn't need anotherone.
But you know, it was the wholepart of it.
It actually there was so manythings of dishonesty with him.
It just slowly killed mebecause the previous marriage
I'd been in was the exact samething and I never expected

(17:20):
Daniel to do that to me.
So I put him on a pedestal,which I shouldn't have done.
But I literally to the pointwhere I started becoming friends
with a gentleman and uh, beforeyou go for that, go that far.

One thing back on the, on the kid thing.
You know it's for us.
She says that she realizes nowthat that was not to happen
anyway, so she's she's given theforgiveness.
But I don't want any couple outthere to think that that's
going to happen every time,because there are times where I

(17:55):
don't think a spouse might be asforgiving as she was.
That was a very serioussituation that I did and that's
something that no single spouseshould ever take that decision
on their own, especially to thepoint where they lie and
manipulate the other spouse intothinking they have to do it,
making it happen and then justleaving it to whatever for the

(18:18):
consequences.
You know, I'm very fortunatebecause God came in and fixed
all of that part later.
She's forgiven me for that.

Absolutely.

Some people hold grudges though, yeah, and if
you're, you know, if you'remarried to somebody out there
that holds them grudges.
That could be a bad situation.

Oh, but I did, and she did hold them for a
while.

I did for quite some time, but I'm very
fortunate she still doesn't holdthat grudge against me today,
right, so go ahead.

So with all that , there were you know other
things.
But I got to the point where Ijust really couldn't stand being
around him, like I didn't wantto talk to him, like I didn't
want to talk to him, like hetried.
But I was like, oh, you're justgoing to try now because I'm so
mad.
So I turned to someone else andI at that time become very
dishonest to Daniel.
I was talking to him, textinghim and all this stuff.

(19:06):
He had no clue, wouldn't thinkI would ever do something like
that.
So then the affair happened andthen we started pretty much.
I started lying to him all thetime and I feel, you know, I
look back now and I was likewhat in the world?
Who was this person, you know?
And it got really bad.

(19:27):
But you know, we never let ourchildren really know what was
going on until the day I saidI'm moving out, wow.
And that's when everything justkind of changed for us Well,
actually for Dan, because we hadlived so many lies.
Neither one of us really kneweach other.
Dan would never talk to me, hewould never open up, we couldn't

(19:49):
have a communication like I cantell you how I feel, and
everything like that he wouldnever tell me, he would never
talk to me.
I didn't even know a part ofhim.

I had no idea.
She would tell me a lot oftimes she would say that she
felt like I had this deep, darksecret.

Yeah, because he wouldn't open up.
She didn't know what it was.

And she told me many times I don't know if I
really know who you are.
And so my personality is I'mreally laid back and it's what.
If you're familiar with thecolor code I know a lot of
people aren't but I have a lotof white in me, white
personality, which means I cango into a room with thousands of

(20:26):
people and I can go in thereand I can sit back in a corner
in a chair all by myself, nottalk to one person the whole
night.
I can stay there till it's over, get up and leave and I've had
the blast of my life.
I mean, it's just, I don't haveto talk to anybody.
You know, I don't have toreally communicate.
I'm just perfectly fine, justbeing in peace with myself back
in the corner somewhere.

(20:47):
Well, the downfall to that kindof a relationship is
communication is a little bitmore difficult.
Sure, because, like, if I dohave secrets or if it is
something that I feel, like ifI'm going to open up to her,
she's going to get mad at me,and then I've got confrontation.
So I can do confrontationbetter now as I've gotten older,
but back then confrontation wasan issue for me and I didn't

(21:10):
want it, and so people that havewhite personalities, like I do,
they'll just clam up.
They won't say nothing, they'lljust okay, this will work
itself out eventually and it'llbe fine Eventually.
I don't have to worry about it,We'll get past it and
everything will be fine, youknow, and so that's what I did
for the majority of our marriage, not realizing that I was
majorly, you know, killing herrelationship because she's not

(21:33):
that type of a personality,right?
I mean, she wants to knowwhat's going on.

Yeah, I'm that deep thinker, I want to know
what's going on with him and Igive my everything to him
because I'm sincere, like ifyou're going to be my best
friend, I want you to be my bestfriend.
You're going to know everythingabout me, right, and I don't
let a whole lot of people knoweverything about me.
So he was my one and I'm likeyou need to share that with me.
But I think, too, is now.

(21:59):
You know, I look back and Ithink that was very immature of
me.
You know, I expected him to besomething that I wanted and
didn't learn his personality,even though you should have
talked to me.
Yeah for sure, but still, youknow you have different
personalities, so I mean youhave to learn by communicating

(22:19):
to each other, like you know.
Give me some time to talk aboutthis and I will Absolutely.
But you know I had the affairand you know we literally I
don't know how many times Standrove up by the house up there.

Yeah, I found out where he lived.
That was not a good thing.

I was like driving up there checking and
seeing if he was there, you know.
But yet.

I felt like teenagers all over again.

He realized, you know, it's going to take prayer
to get this to work out.
And I've been down that roadwith my first husband I'll go to
church, I'll change, I'll go tochurch, I'll go to church, I'll
change, I'll go to church, I'llchange.
I don't know how many times.
And I was just like yeah, no.
And.
But the night I was supposed tomove out, just something

(23:03):
changed in my heart and I waslike you know what, let's give
this a try And-.

Well, I, even I went and looked at the apartment
with her.
She had already found anapartment.

I loved him as much as I hated him at that
moment.
I loved him, and so when we did, that's when we decided, okay,
everything has to be hands down,we have to have honesty and
communication.
Did it come to us right then ofeverything?
No, we had to work hard at therelationship to talk about it,

(23:34):
because this is a new thing forhim with communicating and you
know, and the honest part was,is he being honest to me, with
me, about other things, the sameas him?
Like, is she being honest withme?
He had to trust me Right, andyou know, I think it was what
Probably 2010.
Yeah, we renewed our vows.
It was what probably 2010.

Yeah, we renewed our vows.
It was about two years later.

Yeah, I think that's really when Cut to that
point and then you know and Idon't mean to say this, but I am
going to say it anyways but youknow, I grew up in church and I
played church.
You know I didn't have thatintimate relationship.
I mean, I knew God was supposedto be the center of it, I
thought he was, but I reallydidn't take it serious.

(24:19):
It wasn't until I startedtaking my relationship serious
with Christ did I ever, you know, really start seeing a change
in both of us, in our marriage.

I really feel like that's the missing link for
most couples.
Missing link for most couplesBecause if you aren't in a
personal relationship with Jesusin a personal relationship my
thought about a personal, or howI would describe that is is
Jesus part of your day?
Do you talk to him, Do you walkwith him, Do you listen?

for him.

Do you respond to him, and if that's the kind of
relationship you have, it can'tbe contained.
It ends up flowing out of youinto the people around you,
specifically your husband oryour wife.
And so, as things were changingspiritually, that is when the
shifting happened in yourmarriage, with honesty and

(25:16):
communication.
I'm just assuming that that wasreally the key to the shift.

Yeah, Well, and you know, if you have a personal
relationship with God, you haveto work at it.
Oh yeah, it's the same as amarriage, absolutely your
marriage.
You have to work at it.
So I mean, that's where wereally learned like, okay, he's
going to give, I'm going to give, we're going to communicate,

(25:42):
we'll meet in the middle if it'ssomething we don't agree with.
But I mean, for the most partnow, when he was talking about
us, literally read my mail.
We both think a lot alike.
It really is a scary thing.

Yeah, that's what happens when you live together
so long Apparently so.
Everett and I are totalopposites in our personality,
but we do think alike, and it'sjust the longer you grow
together, especially if Christis the center he brings us into
this like-mindedness and asingle purpose and a single

(26:12):
focus to honor and please him.
So you do sort of beginthinking more alike than you
used to.

And I was going to read this because one of the
questions you were asking, let'ssee, about honesty being the
foundation, and I looked at itas you have to be authentic,
yeah, and you have to be genuine.
And you have to be authentic,yeah, and you have to be genuine
, and you have to be transparentand truthful, Because when you

(26:40):
choose dishonesty, like we did,your spouse is robbed of knowing
the true you.
Honesty challenges andencourages growth and our depth
of our relationship.
Transparency builds a strongfoundation in marriage.
I wrote those because I wasreally.
It spoke a lot to me in ourmarriage, you know, and I wish

(27:02):
we would have had this from thevery beginning.
And what's crazy is we did, wejust chose to do ourselves like
being the selfish people that wewere and it really honestly, I
go back and I just I mean God'sforgiven me for it, but you know
what, where would we be attoday had our first day of our

(27:23):
marriage been looked at sodifferently?
And you know, honesty andcommunication at the very
beginning.
So, now I just look at him andI'm like what are you thinking?
And he's like you tell me.

Don't you know what I'm thinking?

I can see you looking right through me.

We tease each other all the time.
I love that.

It's so, so good .

I think that's wonderful.

Yeah, I think you know people.
Something that I want to shareabout marriage that I think
people don't realize is when weget married, we're practicing
for the marriage of Christ.
And everything that we do hereon earth, from the time that we
say I do and as we go throughour marital relationship until

(28:07):
it's time for God to take ushome.
You know we are practicing forwhat's coming up next.
This marriage has nothingreally to do with what happens
here on earth.
It does relationally-wise andit does for having companionship
and, you know, fulfilling God'spurpose as a couple.
All that stuff does come intoplay.
But the big picture of this iswe're supposed to be working

(28:31):
through this marriage to theeffect that someday when we get
to heaven, we should have itperfected by then, because
that's the whole goal, thatmarriage, supper of the Lamb,
and we get there and we becomeGod's bride.
That's what that whole thing isall about.
This is a reflection of what'sgoing to take place that day.
I think if people can actuallylook at their marriage through

(28:52):
those lens, I think that theywould probably have a lot
different walk through theirmarriage here on earth.

That's so good.

Because, as a Christian, especially because
our goal here is to please GodRight, that's the thing that
we're supposed to be doing ispleasing him, fulfilling his
will and purpose for our lifeand everything that he has for
us to do, and a big part of thatis our relationship and our
marriage.
You know, that is aGod-ordained institution.
That's very biblical, and so Ithink that if we can just change

(29:24):
our perspective as coupleswhile we're here on this earth,
married to our significant otherthe other best person that we
could ever have in our life andif we can actually change our
perspective on that andunderstand how God looks at that
through His lens, then youcould.
I mean, there's no limits.
You know, you can have the bestmarriage that you could ever

(29:46):
want.
And if we follow that.
But it's just the world gets soentangled into marriage,
relationships and friendshipsand just busyness of life, jobs,
just all the stuff you know,trying to raise kids, and
there's just so many things thatputs distractions in there and
Satan likes to throw a littlebit of irritation and

(30:07):
frustration, other stuff likethat into the mix as well.
And so when you have to dealwith all of that, a lot of times
it's hard to stay sanctifiedthrough the week and you look
for your Sundays and yourWednesdays so you can get
recharged, you know, get yourJesus back in you.
You know, but that's not howit's supposed to be.
We're supposed to keep Jesus ina seven days a week, 24 seven,

(30:29):
and it is possible.
You can do that.
It's all a mindset, it's all inpriorities, it's all in how much
you want to work on yourmarriage and how hard you want
to push through those baddecisions and those bad times
that you have.
God can help you through all ofthat Absolutely.
I mean, we are a walkingtestament.
If it wasn't for God, youwouldn't be sitting here talking
to us right now.
That's true, I can guarantee it, because we literally.

(30:52):
She was looking at an apartment.
There was a time that she toldme that she hoped that I hit a
cliff going to work and totaledmy Jeep out and killed me.
Oh, my word, michelle.

I mean, and believe me, she's not that way.
That doesn't sound like theMichelle I know at all.

But look what bad relationship scenarios will do
to a person.
Oh for sure you know,Especially when you're hurt and
you're angry.

Yeah, it's like you know, Absolutely.

Say things that you don't mean and I know she
didn't mean it then either.

Oh, I did.

Necessarily At the time.
I think she didn't mean it, butI didn't want to hurt my Jeep,
you know.
But yeah it's.
You know, when you go throughthese trials and these
tribulations with marriage andyou get to a situation where
there's probably a legitimatehate starting to come up and a

(31:44):
hatred for the person that'ssupposed to be bringing you the
most joyful fulfillment in yourlife and your marriage, at that
time it's real easy to startthinking Satan comes in and he's
just like think this think that, say this, say that you know
he's got that little puppet onyour shoulder.
And obviously when we're walkingthose, when we're walking that
walk where we're just going tohead and get a divorce and we're

(32:06):
just going to go through withit, most generally, you know,
nine times out of 10, god's notinvolved in that anyway.
Right, and because obviously weshould never look to divorce as
an answer.
We've been through it butthat's not really the thing you
should be contemplating.
But whenever we do contemplatethat, you know Satan plays a big
part in that usually.

Yeah.
So what I love about your storyis God didn't waste any of the
pain.

Right.

He's redeemed it, and you guys are now impacting
other couples.
You won't even know this sideof eternity, who's listening to
your marriage podcast?
Who?
Well, you will know the peoplethat sit under your counseling,
but a lot of times, the peoplethat struggle the most or have

(32:51):
the most challenging things toovercome are the ones that God
chooses to use to help others,and it's that beautiful
redemption story that I love totalk about, and what the enemy
meant for evil.
God has turned for good in yourlives, and then, when God does

(33:11):
that, he multiplies it and itimpacts so many other people,
and so I just love the honestyand the transparency that you
guys are bringing to thisinterview about.
We did lie, I cheated, I wasn'thonest, we were unbalanced, we
weren't walking close to theLord.
You know, when people begin toown these things, that's when

(33:35):
healing can happen yes.
When you just can say this iswrong, this is wrong, I'm wrong
here, I own it, I confess it.
Lord, change me.
He can do it, he can do it.
And so just I would love foryou guys to just speak some
encouragement into our listeners.

Sure, there's a few things here that I would
like to share from my point ofit.
You know, honestly, when welook at encouragement for
marriage and that kind of thing,the place we need to go to is
the Bible, amen.
We don't go to friends, wedon't go to relatives.
You know, pastors are great.

(34:17):
I mean, they can help in a lotof situations but God's holy
word is really where we need togo, amen.
And I've got some truths herethat I've put together to share
with the audience for this.
First of all, god values truthin the inner being.

Yes, he does.

In Psalm 51, 6, it says Yet you desired
faithfulness even in the womb.
You taught me wisdom in thatsecret place.
So this verse reminds us thatGod delights in truthfulness,
not just in our words, butactually in the depths of our
hearts, our very inner being ofwho we are.
So when a marriage is rooted inhonesty, then it becomes that
place of deep trust andspiritual intimacy that God

(34:55):
expects us to have in ourmarriage.
Secondly, speak the truth inlove.
Ephesians 4.15,.
Instead of speaking the truthin love, we will grow to become
in every respect the mature bodyof Him who is the head, that is
Christ.
Truth should never be used as aweapon you should never do that.
But it needs to be sharedgently and lovingly, and couples

(35:19):
struggling with honesty can beencouraged to not just to be
truthful but to approach truthwith grace and kindness, and
because we know that there canbe a good truth and a bad truth.
Because there's some thingsthat are true that we don't want
to hear because it's not a goodthing, and that can be a good
truth and a bad truth.
Because there's some thingsthat are true that we don't want
to hear because it's not a goodthing and that can be a trigger
and you know, like, whenMichelle finally was truthful
with me with what she did, whenI was truthful with her with

(35:41):
what I did, I didn't expect agood response from her when I
was honest, you know, and Idon't think she probably
expected a good response from me.
But in all reality, to workthrough all of that, you've got
to use grace and you've got touse love and be honest and out,
you know, out, go, spoken aboutit and upcoming with it all in

(36:03):
order to get past all of that.
So that's another importantstep.
Also, integrity builds trust andsafety and Proverbs 10, 9, it
says whoever walks in integritywalks securely, but whoever
takes crooked paths will befound out.
So when we walk in integrity,it causes safety in a
relationship when both spousesare committed to living honestly

(36:25):
.
It establishes a strongfoundation of trust.
We can't trust somebody that wethink is a perpetual liar.
That's right foundation oftrust.
We can't trust somebody that wethink is a perpetual liar.
And Michelle and I really wereat a point where we had to work
through a lot to is she beinghonest with me or not?
Am I being honest with her oram I not being honest with her,
because once a liar, always aliar.

(36:46):
You always hear that statementmade you know from the time
you're a kid and there is a lotof truth to that.
In some cases Some people justnaturally lie and so you have to
get to a point beyond where youcan actually gain that trust
back.
That takes integrity.

Absolutely.

And within your own self, and so that's
something you have to work on.
Number four confession bringshealing.

Yeah.

James 5, 16,.
It says Therefore, confess yoursins to each other and pray for
each other so that you may behealed.
And this verse encouragescouples to be open with one
another, something that we learnthe hard way Not just to
confess wrongs, but to also prayand walk through healing
together.
I mean, that's a very importantpart of that.
Vulnerability can open the doorto restoration.

(37:32):
And so those times when we'revulnerable and we actually allow
each other into each other'sspace or each other's yard, as
we'd like to talk whenever thathappens, then you can start
gaining that trust back and youcan start seeing that integrity
within each other, and thatstarts that road to healing.

(37:52):
At that point.
And then number five is loverejoices in the truth.
It says 1 Corinthians 13, 6,.
Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.
True love is rooted in truth.

That's right.

That's where it comes from.
If a couple desires a love thatmirrors Christ, it must be
built on honesty, even when it'shard.
Absolutely there's thingsyou're going to go through.
That's difficult.
It's going to be hard tonavigate and we probably aren't
going to know the answer.
We probably aren't going toknow the direction that we need
to go, but we know who knowsthat's right.
And that's where we need to gois to God, our King, and let Him

(38:32):
come in and navigate all ofthat for us.
So did you have?

No, you actually .
When I read yours, I was likeoh, these are really good.
You're like I can't top that.

There's nothing more encouraging than the Word
of God.
That's right.

Word of.

God, and so we would encourage our audience,
our listeners, be in the Word ofGod and these scriptures that
you have shared tonight.
They are foundational for a—wetalked about what is a

(39:09):
successful marriage.
That will make a successfulmarriage If you don't just read
the.

Word, but you live right.

You live it out, and you can't live it out
without the help of the HolySpirit.
So ask the Holy Spirit, do thisin me.
I can't do it without your help, lord, and he will help you.
That's right, we know that'strue.

Let me give you four more points here for
couples that are actually goingthrough problems right now.

Yes.

Because Michelle and I have fixed our problems,
We've got God on earth, wehaven't taken frying pans after
each other in a while, so Ithink we're good.
But there's couples out there Iknow that's listening right now
probably that are walkingthrough a tough time.
Yeah, and you know.
Here's a few things just tokeep in mind.
Number one pray togetherregularly.

Yeah, Very, very important.
Oh, that very important.

Inviting God to bring the hidden things to light
and help you both walk in truthand grace.
That should be the prayer thatyou're praying at this point.
Create a safe space, because alot of people, when they have
problems and they want to beconfrontational and they want to
do it spontaneously and that'snot a good mix.
You can't catch the otherspouse off guard like that.

(40:13):
You need to have a safe spacewhere both of you can convent
and feel like you can share yourheart without a fear of
judgment or punishment.

Right.

Because if you don't have that environment
around you then it's probablynot going to.
You're not going to finish theconversation, True.
And it's just not going tohappen, and so that's another
another thing to keep in mindSeek wise counsel.
If you can't figure this out onyour own, there's plenty of
pastors out there and marriagementors, you know.

(40:41):
Find someone that can help you.
That's wise.
I would prefer a spiritualcounselor, obviously biblically
based.

Right.

It's the best, but you need to find someone that
can help you navigate thosedeeper struggles that you're
having, that you just can't getpast, because some things we
just can't fix on our own.
We've got to have some help,not only from God, but from some
other wise people.
Right and fourth, the finalthing remember that God is a
restorer.
Yes, he is.
Even if trust has been broken,he is more than able to rebuild

(41:15):
anything that was lost.
That's so true, and Michelleand I is a walking testimony of
that.
Yeah, because our relationshiptoday, 23 years later, is just
phenomenal.
It's way above and beyond whatI ever would have thought it
would have been.
It's beautiful.
And it's just it is.
It's a beautiful thing, and so.

Yeah, I mean just walking alongside you guys in
ministry and you know, I didn'tknow all of your story until, I
guess, six months ago when I didan interview with you.
But it's hard for people tobelieve.
If they didn't know you, thenLike I didn't know you then I
only know the Daniel andMichelle Moore of you know.
I met you, I think, three orfour years ago, and what I've

(42:03):
seen is just the love for eachother and the love for Christ
that emanates from you, and it'sjust so beautiful to see what
the Lord will do.
And so you know, I have this onmy heart for anyone who's
listening, who is strugglingthat don't lose hope.
That's right, because God is norespecter of persons.

(42:24):
What he will do for one, hewill do for another.

He will.

And so you know there's always hope for another.
He will, and so you knowthere's always hope, and so
that's you know.
We're just really believingthat God's going to use this
podcast to encourage and listento it with your spouse, share it
with someone that you know maybe having some marriage
struggles, because this is atestimony of redemption, and we
love how God is just weavingthat story through a lot of the

(42:52):
interviews lately.

Yeah, I'm excited to hear the rest of the marriage
episodes.
You do I am too.

Yeah, you guys are out interviewed too.
We have one coming up in acouple of weeks after yours is
released, and I thank you bothso much for your time.

Well, thank you for having us on again.

Such a blessing, such a blessing, such a blessing
.
I'd love to close praying overthe marriages of our listeners.

Yes.

Father, God, we come to you in the name of Jesus
, in the power of the HolySpirit, lifting our listeners to
you, God, every marriage welift to you.
We ask you God, where there isbrokenness, bring healing and
restoration.
Where there is despair, bringhope.

(43:39):
God.
Where there is distrust, wepray you would grow trust.
Where there is dishonesty, God,grow honesty.
Lord.
Where there is miscommunication, we pray you would grow
communication.
In the name of Jesus and Father, we ask this that your name
would be glorified in marriages,God, that children would see a

(44:01):
mom and a dad who love oneanother the way Christ loved the
church.
Lord, Jesus, we just pray andask a blessing would be upon
every couple that makes up ourlistening audience.
We speak Jesus over marriages,we plead the blood of Jesus over
marriage.
And, god, we speak victory toevery battle that every couple

(44:23):
is facing.
And, god, we trust you.
We know God, you have takenwhat the enemy meant for evil in
Daniel and Michelle's life andyou have turned it for good.
And God, you can do that forany person who seeks you with a
fervent heart.
So we praise you, god, we thankyou, we believe you're at work
even now in this prayer as itgoes out into the airwaves.

(44:47):
Lord, may your Holy Spirit fallon every single listener.
We love you, lord, we praiseyou, lord, we thank you for the
gift of marriage.
It was your idea, god, and itwas beautiful and wonderful, and
we thank you for it.
We pray these things in theholy and beautiful name of Jesus

(45:11):
, our Lord, Amen, amen.
Thank you again, guys.
It's been so good to have you.

You're welcome, thank you.

Thank you again for being here today and thank
you for joining us in thisepisode.
Just a quick reminder that theRise Up Conference 2025 is going
to be held August 1st and 2ndat the Keter Center near Branson
, missouri.
All the information aboutconferences on our website is
going to be held August 1st and2nd at the Keter Center near
Branson, missouri.
All the information aboutconference is on our website.

(45:38):
I am so excited to share.
We have a discount promo justfor listeners, so use podcast 15
when you sign up and you willget a discounted rate on your
conference ticket.
I am looking forward to meetingour listeners at conference
this year.
Once again, you can find us onour website at
itstimetoriseuporg, and thereyou'll find our social media
platforms.
May God's grace and peace bewith you In Jesus' mighty name.

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Honesty in Marriage with Daniel and Michelle Moore - 18

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Honesty in Marriage with Daniel and Michelle Moore - 18