June 3, 2025 • 43 mins
"The lost coin doesn't know it's lost." These powerful words from Drew Frazier capture the essence of a marriage story that will leave you breathless. After 16 years together, Drew and Ashley share with raw vulnerability how their seemingly perfect relationship was built on shifting sand—until God orchestrated a complete renovation through surrender.
Drew grew up in a pastor's home, well-versed in making everything appear fine on the surface while hiding struggles beneath. When he carried habitual sin into his marriage, the cracks were inevitable. Meanwhile, Ashley had unknowingly placed her husband where only Jesus should be, finding her identity and worth primarily in their relationship rather than Christ. This dangerous imbalance set the stage for devastation when Drew's hidden struggles escalated into patterns of infidelity during COVID isolation.
The turning point came with a desperate prayer and an unmistakable divine encounter. As Drew drove home one day, God spoke with remarkable clarity: "I want YOU." This profound moment of feeling truly wanted by his Creator initiated a series of events that can only be described as miraculous—a men's purity group starting that very week, trusted counselors appearing at precisely the right moment, and supernatural strength enabling both confession and forgiveness.
Ashley's journey through grief to restoration offers particular hope for anyone navigating betrayal. Her wisdom about properly grieving, seeking God's discernment, and looking for genuine "fruit of repentance" provides a roadmap for those wondering if healing is possible. The moment God prompted her to forgive "by faith" resulted in an immediate supernatural release as the blood of Jesus covered their situation.
Today, their marriage stands as living proof that nothing is beyond God's redemptive power when we're willing to surrender completely to His process. As Drew now ministers to youth and Ashley to children, their testimony continues transforming lives beyond their own family.
Have you found yourself wearing masks, hiding struggles, or placing relationships above God? Perhaps this is your invitation to experience the freedom that comes with complete surrender. Remember—sometimes the lost coin doesn't realize it's lost until the Finder begins His relentless pursuit.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kim McIntire (00:08):
Welcome to the it's Time to Rise Up podcast.
I'm your host, kim McIntyre.
We know there are so manythings you could do with your
time, so thank you for choosingto spend your time listening
today.
We pray you are encouraged andblessed by what is shared.
If you're not familiar with ourshow, check out our website at
itstimetoriseuporg.
There you will find our socialmedia links and, as for our
(00:31):
podcast platforms, you can findus on YouTube, apple Podcasts,
spotify and anywhere else youfind your podcast.
We also want to remindlisteners that our annual Rise
Up conference is August 1st and2nd at the Keter Center near
Branson, missouri.
There is a discount for ourpodcast listeners.
Just enter podcast15 when yougo to the website to register.
(00:54):
I can't wait to see you allthere.
Well, we have our third part ofour marriage series tonight,
with an interview with Drew andAshley Frazier.
I'm so excited to have you guysin the studio.
Welcome back, ashley.
Yes, you were here for one ofour Abide Bible studies, and so
(01:16):
our listeners have heard yoursweet voice before, so I'm glad
you're back and you brought yoursecond half with you tonight.
Welcome, drew.
Thank you so much.
I'm so glad you're back and youbrought your second half with
you tonight.
Welcome, drew, thank you somuch, I'm glad you're here.
I appreciate you guys beingwilling to share your story
Absolutely.
I know it's going to be ablessing to so many.
You both are such a joy.
I know you through ministry.
(01:37):
You both serve children.
You specifically children,ashley and Drew, specifically
youth.
Drew Frazier (01:45):
Right.
Kim McIntire (01:45):
My granddaughter is in the Littles program and my
grandson is in the youthprogram at a local church where
we attend, and what I've seen inboth of you is the love of
Christ pouring out into thefuture generation.
Yeah, and what can be betterthan that?
Right?
Drew Frazier (02:04):
Right.
Kim McIntire (02:07):
Raising up the teacher church, and so that's
why I'm honored to have you here, because I've witnessed that
and my family is a benefactor ofthat, so thank you.
Well, let's just open with youguys sharing a little bit about
yourselves.
Whichever one wants to go first, feel free.
Ashley Frazier (02:21):
Yeah, well, thank you, kim.
It's an honor to be here and toshare, so we appreciate you for
asking.
Oh, you're so welcome.
Yeah, so we are Drew and AshleyFrazier and we have been
married for 16 years.
It's crazy, that's a long timewe started young.
Kim McIntire (02:42):
Yeah, I was going to say you look so young, how
can you be married 16 years?
But I totally believe you.
Ashley Frazier (02:49):
Yes, so we were 19 and 20 when we got married.
But yeah, we have threebeautiful kids.
Aiden is 14, going on 15.
Oh, my Madeline is 12.
And Jude is 9.
Oh, my goodness.
Kim McIntire (03:05):
Those is 12 and Jude is 9.
Oh my goodness yeah.
Those are perfect spaces.
Ashley Frazier (03:08):
Yeah, it was.
Kim McIntire (03:09):
Did you?
Ashley Frazier (03:09):
plan that we planned Aiden and Maddie, but
Jude was our surprise.
We didn't know, we needed thebest surprise.
Kim McIntire (03:18):
Yes, the best surprise, absolutely.
That's so good yeah.
Ashley Frazier (03:21):
Awesome.
So I was a stay-at-home mom for10 years and then two years ago
actually this month I came onstaff at the church and just
felt called to do that and ourkids were getting older and my
homeschool, but it just allflowed and worked beautifully
(03:41):
because that's what the Lord hadyou know for that season.
Flowed and worked beautifullybecause that's what the Lord had
you know for that season.
And then just this lastSeptember Drew came on staff as
well and so it's just been soneat to just as we do life with
each other, do ministry and allof it together.
Yeah, yeah, it's been so cool.
Kim McIntire (04:01):
Every part connected.
I love that that's so good.
Thank you, Ashley.
How about you, Drew?
Drew Frazier (04:07):
So, yeah, we just we're a church family.
That's what we do.
Our lives are really focusedaround God and around church and
around each other too.
We love spending time togetherand we take every opportunity
that we can to be together.
We enjoy just sitting in frontof the TV, you know, enjoying a
show.
We also enjoy playing gamestogether and we work together,
(04:29):
obviously, but that alsoincludes working at our house.
We like to get out and doanything around the house that
we can picking up sticks,whatever it is but we involve
our whole family and that's justhow we do things.
Ashley Frazier (04:43):
We like to do it that way and I make him do a
puzzle with me every now andthen.
Oh yeah.
Kim McIntire (04:46):
Oh yes, do you love that, drew, I do, I do, I
don't like puzzles.
Drew Frazier (04:51):
If she's there, then I'm all about it.
Kim McIntire (04:52):
I love that.
That's so good.
Well, there's plenty of sticksto pick up in this season right,
right, yes, oh, my goodness.
Okay, well, thank you so muchfor sharing that about
yourselves.
This episode we're going tofocus on living surrendered to
Christ in marriage and in life,and you guys are the final of
(05:15):
three interviews which I sharedalready, and so we're going to
start a little differently withthis one, and that is how did
you meet?
Drew Frazier (05:24):
So we met at a young age.
I don't know when exactly thatwas.
As far as I can remember backshe's always been there.
She grew up in the town that mygrandpa was a pastor, and so
when I would go visit his churchI would see her and she would
be a part of that town.
And I don't remember anyinteractions really that we had,
or the very first time that weeven had a conversation, but I
(05:47):
do know that the church that Igrew up in she would visit from
time to time around the age 12,11 or 12.
And I began to really noticeher around that time, you know,
as I was coming into teenageyears, she really stood out, and
past that there were a fewtimes that we had some
(06:08):
conversations, but past that,when my grandpa died, my dad
took the church as the leadpastor, and so we moved into
that town, into that community.
And there she was and wedeveloped a relationship very
quickly.
It was a friendship.
She's just been my best friendfor a long time and as teenagers
(06:32):
we just enjoyed being together.
It was just one of those thingsthat we could sit, we could
talk, we could play games, wecould do whatever, and as long
as we were together, we werevery comfortable around each
other.
And that developed into adating relationship and then we
got married after that.
Ashley Frazier (06:50):
Yeah, yeah, it's funny.
I actually remember, um, Iguess I'm a knower, kim I.
I just knew things.
Um, he, he was actually in acar accident before we even
began dating and um, I rememberthe morning that they told us
that there was an accident and Iwas 15.
(07:10):
We hadn't even began dating andI just knew, god, you know he
has to be OK, I know he's theone I'm going to marry.
And that even almost made mehesitate when he asked me out to
start dating, because I'm like,well, I'm going to be with you
for the rest of my life, like Ialready knew.
Kim McIntire (07:27):
You know he was the one, but yeah, You're the
only person that I actually knowlike real life person.
I've heard people say that oninterviews like TV or something,
or just in books or interviewslike in magazines, but I've
never heard someone that I knowsay I knew, yeah, I knew that he
was the one.
Ashley Frazier (07:47):
Yeah, I know, at 15, it was kind of crazy.
But so, yeah, when he asked meout, I almost was like I
remember talking to my mom andjust being like should I say yes
, you know?
Because I'm like this is it,you know?
And?
But I'm so glad I did.
It's been so fun and, like hesaid, we've always just been the
best of friends.
Kim McIntire (08:08):
That's the best marriage.
If you began as friends, youdon't have to figure that out
later.
Right, right, right, very wise,a very wise way to start, for
sure.
Ok, so how about when you weresaved, because you obviously
were raised in church when didyou make a personal decision,
(08:28):
drew, to follow Christ as yourLord and Savior?
Drew Frazier (08:31):
Well, I started really early.
I can remember going forward asa little guy, four or five
years old, at Children's Churchat the church that I grew up in.
And.
I know that I had a relationshipwith Jesus at that point.
I know that he would speak tome, that I would talk to him as
a young person, and I know thatGod placed a call on my life at
(08:51):
that point as well.
I know that, looking back on itand reflecting, and God sharing
things with me about when I wasthat age, there were so many
things that I know that he hadfor me and he had plans for me.
And you know, you grow up andas you grow up, things happen
and it was just.
There was things that camebetween me and him and you know
(09:16):
nothing that he did.
Definitely this was all me, butI had a really, really, really
good rededication at 32 yearsold, so that wasn't too long ago
, just several years ago, and mylife was just changed at that
point, you know it was justturned around.
Kim McIntire (09:35):
That's amazing.
I can't wait to hear more aboutthat in a minute.
What about you, Ashley?
When did you receive Christ asyour Savior and Lord?
Ashley Frazier (09:43):
Yeah, well, raised in church.
So I don't remember if I hadlike a three-year-old,
four-year-old, you know, askJesus into my heart moment.
But the moment I remember I hadbeen six or seven years old,
wow, and the Spirit was justmoving in the church.
It was a Sunday night service.
You know, the kids are all inservice and all the kids are in
(10:06):
the pews still and all thegrownups were in the altar and
God was moving and I rememberthe Lord speaking so clearly to
me to just go up and raise myhand and to surrender to Him.
You know, surrender my life toHim and worship Him.
And I thought, well, what areall these people going to think?
(10:26):
You know this little kid goingup there and doing that?
I kind of had that thought in myhead but thankfully the voice
of the Lord was more persuasivethan my own.
What ifs?
So that was such a marker in mylife to go up and surrender and
give my heart to Him and mylife to Him.
(10:46):
And I actually remember openingmy eyes and there was like all
of the adults circled around meand it was just beautiful.
And I've always just had adesire to serve the Lord and to
be used by Him and definitelyhave not lived that out
perfectly by any means.
(11:07):
There's been many times in mylife where I've not put Him in
the place that he should be, butI'm just so thankful for His
faithfulness.
I've never turned away from Him, you know, and he's just always
pursued me in such a beautifulway and I keep growing closer
and closer to Him all the timethat's sweet.
Kim McIntire (11:29):
Yeah, it's a sweet journey.
Well, we know that being savedand living a life surrendered to
the Lord are not the same,right, yeah?
Drew Frazier (11:38):
that's right.
Kim McIntire (11:38):
I've lived that journey.
I think you guys have livedthat journey.
You guys have lived thatjourney.
And so, drew, what led you to aplace where you were determined
to surrender your whole life toChrist?
For me that was a pit.
I don't know if that's true foryou, but I've not heard your
story.
But we have this.
(12:04):
Really, it's a verse that westand on, rise Up, stands on.
We overcome by the blood of theLamb and the word of our
testimony Absolutely.
So, part of why you're here isbecause you have a redemption
story.
That's right.
So I would just love for you tojust take a few moments and
share that, okay.
Drew Frazier (12:17):
It might be a little more than a few, as many
as you need it's a big story.
As many as you need it's a bigstory as many as you need.
It is a God story and it's whathe does.
It's what he wants to do witheverybody.
I know he does and I'm probablygoing to get emotional.
Go right ahead.
I hope that's okay it is okay.
But you know I did grow up inchurch.
My dad was a pastor from a veryyoung age.
(12:38):
He was a kid's pastor and anursing home pastor at the same
time and kind of a volunteerrole all the while I was growing
up.
And whenever you grow up inthat, you know it's great.
I wouldn't trade that foranything.
I loved the raising that I had.
I love that my dad's a pastor.
I love that my grandpa was apastor.
You know, that's a heritage thatwas handed down and something
(13:00):
that I'm pursuing now.
But when you do grow up, inthat you learn how to work your
way around and wiggle aroundpeople to make them think
certain things, especially ifyou're not doing well,
especially if you've got thingsthat you're hiding, if you've
got things that you don't wantother people to know, even your
(13:20):
parents or your siblings orfriends, or the pastor,
especially even your parents oryour siblings or friends, or the
pastor especially.
You know.
You learn how to put on a goodface and you learn how to make
people think about you, what youwant them to think.
And so I knew how to.
I knew how to work people.
I knew how to smile, always puton a smile.
I knew how to talk to people sothat they knew well Drew's good
(13:42):
.
You know, if we need somebody tostep in to do whatever, we know
that we can count on Drewbecause he's good, because his
relationship with the Lord iswhere it's supposed to be and he
isn't hiding anything.
He's doing very well and to thisday, that's a very big deal to
me is that I want people to lookat me and to perceive me as
being successful, as havingeverything together, and I know
(14:06):
that that probably has somethingto do with something in my
childhood.
But it's very hard, verydifficult for me to step out and
say, hey, here's things thatI've done wrong, and so this is
totally a God thing that he'sgiven me the power, given me the
ability to step in and sharesomething like this.
(14:28):
My story really reflects theparable that Jesus tells in Luke
, chapter 15, in verse 8.
It's the second parable.
The first one is the sheep thatgoes away.
He leaves the shepherd and hedoesn't know that he's lost.
He just knows that he's in adangerous situation and the
scripture tells us that theshepherd will go.
(14:48):
He's going to leave 99 to goget the one, and I love that.
And then the third parable isthe parable of the prodigal son.
The son leaves the father'shouse and he walks away from the
father, from the blessing ofthe father, and he says I'm
going to go try to find my ownway in it.
And I can relate a lot with theend of it, the point where the
(15:10):
scripture says that he came tohimself and the Holy Spirit
downloaded that moment for himand he understands that I got to
get back to the Father.
And I've been there, you know,and so I can relate with that.
Yeah, and I've been there, youknow, and so I can relate with
that.
But I read through the book ofLuke, or that chapter in Luke
and I.
Something just hits about thatsecond story.
(15:31):
It's the story of the woman whohas 10 coins and it says that
if she loses one she's going tosearch her house high and low
until she finds it and when shedoes she's going to rejoice.
And that story is all about thewoman and of course we know
that the woman is God.
But the coin is me and I canrelate with it more than
(15:57):
anything else because I can looklike all the other coins, I can
look like the other nine, I canbe just as shiny and I can be
just as valuable and I can haveall of those things and I can
stand up right beside them, butthat doesn't mean that I'm still
not lost.
Right.
And I've been there.
You know, there somethinghappened in my teenage years.
(16:22):
I learned, like I said, Ilearned how to hide things and I
picked up a habitual sin.
I picked up a sin, an onlinesin that a lot of guys struggle
with, and I took that and I knowthat there were things that I
had made agreements with theenemy about that, about myself.
(16:42):
He had told me some lies, enemyabout that, about myself.
He had told me some lies that,Drew, you're this, you're this
way and you're always going tobe this way.
And I said you know what you'reright.
And that started a that createda hole in my life.
And so, even though I had arelationship with Jesus at that
point, I wasn't completely soldout on it, I wasn't completely
(17:04):
fully surrendered to it and Icarried all of that sin into my
relationship with my wife, whoshe was my first girlfriend, she
was my fiance and then shebecame my wife and then the
mother of my children.
I carried that and I hid it asbest I could.
I hid it and I didn't do a verygood job of it at times, but I
did try and you know, there weremoments where God gave me an
(17:28):
out, so to speak, and he saidhey, here's an opportunity for
you to just get it all out there, just let her know, just tell
her everything.
And I, I didn't do a very goodjob of of doing that and I
harbored some of that and so, asa result, I just continued to
(17:49):
go further and further down andno matter what I did to turn
around to try and claw my wayout of it, my best effort was
not enough.
I'm a very, very poor Jesus.
Jesus is the only one who canreach down and who can grab you
out of that pit that you talkedabout and pull you out.
And so it continued to progressand it got worse and it got
(18:09):
worse and COVID happened and Ilost any accountability that I
had through church.
I lost the weekly download ofworship that I was getting and
my relationship with Jesus gotto the point where it was
non-existent.
Jesus got to the point where itwas non-existent.
It's not that I had turned awayjust within my own decision,
(18:31):
but I had still turned away, Ihad still gotten lost and it
(18:53):
just continued to progress.
But I remember where I was inthe middle of infidelity and
just awful, awful stuff, and Iwas in my car and I was driving
home from work and I started toweep and I said, god, you got to
get me out of this.
And he said OK, and thatstarted a series of events that
(19:19):
completely turned my lifeabsolutely around.
You know, it wasn't just now, itwasn't just that I looked like
the coin and that I had the samevalue I was, I was value, I was
, I was found, I was with therest of them, the rest of the
coins.
He had put me back where Ineeded to be and that all
started really with that momentin the car.
(19:39):
The next thing that happenedwas I went to a men's Bible
study and churches had openedback up, and so I went to a
men's Bible study and we werecovering the book Dangerous
Prayers by Craig Groeschel, andone of the prayers that you pray
in that is Lord, search me.
If there's anything found in methat you don't, that isn't
(20:03):
supposed to be there, I want youto bring it to the light and
expose it.
And I prayed it and I meant it,and that's dangerous.
You know that's dangerous, notfor me.
I mean it is dangerous for mebecause it's putting me in a
situation where I'm going tohave to expose so much of myself
, but it's dangerous for theenemy because redemption starts
to happen at those moments.
(20:23):
You know right, becauseredemption starts to happen at
those moments you know, that'sright.
So I prayed that prayer and thenext day I'm in my car again and
I just got back from lunch andI'm on my way back to work and
(20:44):
God says okay, it's time youhave to tell your wife
everything.
And I said okay, it's time youhave to tell your wife
everything.
And I said, yeah, right, god, Ican't do that, that's something
that I'll just have to carrywith me.
And he said you need to tellyour wife.
And I started a bargain withGod.
I said well, if you give me 50years, then I'll tell her about
(21:04):
it, I'll give her everything.
And he said no, no, you, youneed to tell your wife.
And so I continued to go downthat path until I said okay.
And when I said okay, he saidDrew, and this was like him
talking, like you and I aretalking right now.
Like I didn't hear him audibly,but I could not have heard him
(21:29):
any clearer.
That's right.
He said Drew, I got somethingthat I want you to do.
Mm-hmm.
And I could have somebody elsedo it, but I want you to do it.
Mm-hmm, because I want you, andI think that's really the core
of who I am.
Yeah.
Is to be wanted.
Yeah, and that fixed.
(21:51):
So many things just in thatmoment.
Kim McIntire (21:53):
Sure.
Drew Frazier (21:54):
That he said I want you.
Kim McIntire (21:57):
Praise.
Drew Frazier (21:57):
God.
So I went home and I looked foropportunities and we began to.
I found an opportunity and ittook me a while to get
everything out and to exposeeverything to my wife, but I did
(22:18):
and we started to rebuild andthe miracles that happened
immediately after that were soimmense and so it's just
unbelievable.
Like if I were to say to tellyou that and without the context
of God being involved, there'sno way it would be believable,
(22:41):
and just the things that God didto line up how we can get to
where we're at right now is sounreal.
Kim McIntire (22:48):
He's so good yes, he is and so faithful.
Drew Frazier (22:51):
Yes, he is.
Kim McIntire (22:52):
Wow.
Drew Frazier (22:56):
So, to cap that off, I did hit a moment where we
came through it and I'll letAshley share in just a second
about that.
But to get to the point of fullsurrender, I do think to answer
your question, it was thatmoment in the car just telling
(23:19):
God OK, whatever you say, I'mgoing to do it.
And he took it from there andhe just he just finished it.
Kim McIntire (23:30):
Thank you, Lord.
Drew Frazier (23:31):
Yes.
Kim McIntire (23:32):
Thank you, lord.
Yeah, there's nothing he can'tdo.
No, he's the God of impossible.
Yeah, and he's the God ofredemption.
Ashley, how was your heart justin the midst of that?
Hmm?
How was your heart just?
Ashley Frazier (23:49):
in the midst of that.
Well, I mean, obviously I wascrushed and I actually figured
out a lot about myself duringthat time and I, you know, in
preparing for this, I waslooking through my journal and I
did a lot of journaling duringthat time and one of the things
(24:14):
that I realized was I had putDrew where Jesus was supposed to
be.
In many ways, we, you know, gotmarried so young, got together
so young, and he, we you know,got married so young, got
together so young, and he Drew.
I had wrapped up my identity,my self-esteem, my self-worth,
my comfort, everything was fromDrew.
(24:43):
And so when this happened, theLord so kindly brought that to
my attention that I reallydidn't have Him in.
His rightful place, even thoughI was following Him and you know
I was just navigating all ofthe things.
The why, I think, was Iremember writing down most of
the time why, you know, and welive in a fallen world and we're
(25:10):
all broken people and Godhelped me so much to see and
have grace and compassionthrough my pain as Drew was
figuring out the why you know,um, I think one of the things
(25:31):
that carried me through thattime was I, I grieved, I grieved
.
well, I grieved, you know, thattrust had been lost, that this
was our story now.
I grieved and the Lord helpedme grieve through that, you know
(25:56):
.
Kim McIntire (25:57):
And grief is necessary.
Yeah, yeah, If you fast forwardthrough that and you don't let
your heart grieve, there'srepair to do later.
Ashley Frazier (26:05):
Yeah.
Kim McIntire (26:05):
This should have just been done from the get-go.
So I think that's a good wordfor someone listening to this
episode that if you've gonethrough this or you're going
through this, allow your hearttime to grieve yeah because the
bible even says there's a time,there's a season to grieve um
healing comes.
Yeah, when you properly grieve.
Ashley Frazier (26:25):
Yeah, one of the things I actually wrote down
was even grieving inches inchingforward.
You know I mean little littlesteps, but God put people in my
path.
I mean Drew told me about itall in an evening as we were
(26:47):
going to sleep, so there wasn'ta lot of sleep to be had that
night.
The next morning I reached outand he reached out and I
couldn't be more thankful forthe place he put us and the
people he put around us at thattime.
It made all the differencearound us at that time.
(27:07):
It made all the difference.
I mean we had people walking methrough what I was going
through and walking him throughit and there was so much
individual healing that neededto happen before we could begin
repairing the marriage.
You know.
Yeah.
(27:36):
You know, but I think I you know.
As I looked back in my journal,I asked the Lord so many times
for wisdom, for discernment, andhe gave me so many amazing
words.
He spoke to me.
He was so near and so present.
He told me to look for thefruit of repentance and, you
know, drew bore the fruit ofrepentance and the Holy Spirit
(28:10):
gave me the discernment to know.
Kim McIntire (28:11):
You know how and when I could start trusting Him
and letting Him in again.
That's powerful.
Ashley.
Yeah, not everyone mayunderstand what that means.
So when you say look for thefruit of repentance.
Could you just explain that alittle bit?
What did that look like in yourlife?
Ashley Frazier (28:26):
Yeah, well, it's one thing to say you're sorry.
You know those are words, sure,but Drew showed me he was sorry
through his actions.
You know, he bared it all.
I mean, there was nothing thathe didn't give me that I asked
for.
You know whether it's your GPSlocation or all the the
(28:49):
passwords on your phone or youknow whatever.
He gave it all so willingly andhe never once, um put any blame
on me or on any other thing.
It was he completely owned itall.
You know he owned every bit ofit and we're not I'm not perfect
.
You know he owned every bit ofit and we're not I'm not perfect
.
You know he could have said, hecould have said things, you
(29:13):
know, but he owned it all andthat was huge.
But yeah, I could just tell youknow the way he reached out to
community, the way he got intogroups.
You know it was so.
It was so the Lord, like hesays, it's a God story.
It's a God story Like there wasliterally a men's purity class
(29:36):
starting at our church that sameweek.
Kim McIntire (29:39):
Wow, how does that happen?
You know?
I've never even heard of that.
Yeah, and you have one start atyour church that week.
That week.
Ashley Frazier (29:46):
So God, so he entered into that.
He was meeting with guys.
We started to do marriagecounseling and then we ended up
splitting off and just doingsome individual counseling.
But he was humble and the HolySpirit let me know that, you
know gave me the discernment toknow that and, yeah, all of
(30:12):
those things were the fruit thatI needed to see.
Kim McIntire (30:15):
Praise God.
Yeah For the discernment too,of the Holy.
Spirit, and you know, the fruitof repentance ultimately is
change right.
Repentance means you turnanother way so you don't
continue in the same path, andso what a God story.
Ashley Frazier (30:30):
Yeah, yeah, I I wrote down.
You know I have to let go ofthe man that I thought I knew
and I'm going to start to lovethe man I know God can make him
to be.
And that's exactly whathappened.
And it's just crazy because,you know, I hadn't looked over
my journal in years and even thethings I had prayed to see
(30:53):
those things now come out and tosee.
I mean, even in my journal Ihad a portion where it said
miracles through the mess ormadness.
And, like Drew said, youwouldn't believe us if we'd say
but there were some miraclesfrom the people that he put in
our path to the doors he openedfor Drew to get out of the
(31:16):
situations he needed to get outof and get in better ones.
Like it was just amazing, itwas just God all over it, god
bringing them to that place.
And number 14, I wrote on mymiracles through the madness was
Drew's repentant heart.
His remorse is a miracle.
And I didn't realize then whenI wrote that, how true that was,
(31:39):
you know.
But that's what I would saywould be fruit would be the
fruit of it.
Kim McIntire (31:46):
Yeah, and so, though I'm sure neither of you
would wish this journey onanyone, would you agree that
it's made you stronger?
Ashley Frazier (31:56):
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I meanI thought you know that we had a
good marriage before and Ithought, but like he said, you
know him kind of wearing a maskand pretending a lot, and for me
, like I don't know, I just feellike our marriage is real now,
(32:18):
like what I thought it was wasactually it wasn't sold out, you
know, neither one of us really.
And now it's real and it'sreally good and it's really
beautiful and the way the Lordput it back together, he just
restored it and I couldn't haveasked for more, you know.
Kim McIntire (32:39):
Yeah.
And when a life is surrendered,what I found to be true in
every person I know that'swilling to share their testimony
of redemption is that, when youtruly enter into that place of
surrender, what the Lord doesand only he can is he won't
waste any of the pain or the sin.
(33:01):
He won't even waste the sin.
He'll just be like what theenemy meant for evil.
I'm turning it for good.
Drew Frazier (33:10):
Only God can do that.
Kim McIntire (33:10):
And that's what I hear in your story is that at
that place of surrender, godtook all of the things, all of
the yuck, and he's used it for apurpose, and I fully believe
that there are people listeningto this that need hope and
they're in a similar situation,and you guys are an example that
(33:33):
the Lord can do anything.
Drew Frazier (33:35):
Because when I see you guys.
Kim McIntire (33:37):
I would tell anyone you're one of the
happiest couples I know, andit's not because it's been easy
right it's not been an easyjourney.
It's been a tough journey.
And you've worked with eachother and with the Lord and
you've put Him at the center andthat surrender of God, it's not
our life, it's yours and Drew'snot.
First, god you are.
And.
Ashley's not first.
God you are.
(33:58):
That is key Because so manypeople get that out of balance.
I got that out of balance.
You don't think about when youknow the word talks about
idolatry.
You always think about things,but idols can be people you know
our spouse, our children afriend, I mean anyone who takes
a position over God or anythingis an idol.
(34:20):
And so.
I love that you brought that outin the story.
You guys have given us so muchtonight.
What I would like to ask is doyou have any specific words of
encouragement?
Maybe you, drew, for some menthat are listening, maybe you,
ashley, for some women that arelistening, and then we'll go
(34:41):
into a time of prayer for ourlisteners.
Do you have any specific wordsyou'd like to speak, drew?
Drew Frazier (34:47):
Sure, you know to the guy that's out there right
now that you know who you are,you know what you've got.
What I would just say, man, isthat you, you're going to get
through this, you're going to beOK.
But that's what it takes.
It takes getting to the pointwhere you're OK with God.
(35:09):
All the rest of it's going tofall into place.
And whenever you decide that,whenever God breaks you down to
the point that you know youcan't do anything else, you have
to expose all of it.
Find a brother that you can talkwith, that you can walk through
this with and that you can justkind of bear it all to, and let
(35:34):
that brother make sure he's agood brother in Christ.
Download some wisdom to you onhow to go about it, on how to do
it, because I know I made a lotof mistakes.
It took me a while to geteverything out and I hurt the
situation.
Instead of just getting it allover with and ripping it off
(35:56):
like a Band-Aid, I grew it outand it took a lot longer than
what it had to.
So I would encourage you tofind a community, find a brother
, find somebody that you can dothis with and let them, coach
you through it, because it's notworth hurting that person that
you love, that best friend thatyou have.
It's not worth hurting thatperson.
Kim McIntire (36:17):
That's right.
That's right.
And the enemy loves isolation.
He loves it.
So the worst thing you can dois isolate when you're facing a
situation like this.
Thank you, Drew, so much.
Ashley Frazier (36:28):
What about you?
Kim McIntire (36:29):
Ashley for our women listeners.
Ashley Frazier (36:31):
Yeah, definitely community.
I actually remember being in mykitchen, on my kitchen floor,
crying out to God and asking Himto just completely take care of
it, all the pain.
But you know, just Him, I knowyou can do it, god.
And he so clearly told mecommunity.
He said you know I'm going touse community and people around
(36:53):
you.
Community, he said you know I'mgoing to use community and
people around you.
But you know, I was in the wordand I was in prayer.
I was just before the Lordbecause I was lost, you know.
But he spoke to me so you knowI would tell.
If you're in this situation, youknow, ask the Lord for wisdom,
(37:13):
for help, for a word.
You know he had really specificwords for me.
He told me to patiently wait atone point.
And you know, another time hetold me the words by faith, one
morning I just had that ringingin my head all morning, by faith
.
And that morning, or thatafternoon at lunch, drew called
(37:33):
me and it was probably threemonths into this thing, three
months, you know.
And so we're, you know we'redoing work at three months in.
And he said you know, I'm justso sorry that we're having to do
this and we're having to walkthis road, and he had said sorry
many times, I'd said I forgiveyou many times, but at that
(37:55):
moment God said, by faith, say Iforgive you.
And that's powerful.
I said it and something shifted, kim.
It was supernatural.
I seen red, I seen the blood ofJesus cover things.
I was still and if you'rewalking through this you know
what I'm talking about I stillwas feeling it physically.
(38:17):
I still physically was hurting,like, like knives in my gut,
like this is painful you know,and at that moment he took the
pain away, the physical pain Ifelt.
Praise God he.
It took me a few days torealize, but when I would think
about the situation it wasdifferent.
(38:37):
It was thinking about itthrough the lens of the blood
and it was covered by the blood.
Wow, Thank you, Jesus.
I mean forgiveness.
So often is a process, but Iknow supernatural forgiveness is
real because I experienced it.
Kim McIntire (38:53):
So that's a testimony in itself.
It is by faith, yeah, by faith,which by faith means I don't
feel it, I don't even see it,I'm not hearing it.
Right, it's not my experience,but it's what I don't see, feel,
hear.
Ashley Frazier (39:08):
Right and experience.
Right, that's faith, yeah.
Kim McIntire (39:14):
And I think just speaking that out loud probably
broke something that needed tobe broken right Absolutely.
Ashley Frazier (39:17):
So I would say listen to the Lord and respond
in obedience when he tells youwhat to do and when you get a
word from Him.
Kim McIntire (39:26):
Such good wisdom, such good encouragement.
I know there are people thatare going to be deeply touched
and blessed by this and helpedand strengthened.
So we're going to close inprayer.
Yeah.
And so just let's feel free.
If either of you want to wantto join and pray as well, we can
take turns, ok, and I'll closeit OK.
Yeah, father God, thank you forthis time that Drew and Ashley
(39:55):
have spoken their testimony.
All glory to you, god.
All glory to you.
We thank you that you are theGod of impossible.
We believe you, lord, to healmarriages.
God, to set captives free, tobreak chains, to do a work of
forgiveness, supernaturalforgiveness by faith in Jesus'
(40:18):
name.
Lord, we believe for that andwe just thank you that you are
at work now.
Through the airwaves of thisepisode, god, we just believe.
As it goes out, hearts arebeing touched and changed and
convicted, and I thank you forit, lord.
Drew Frazier (40:34):
Yes, Lord, we're just, I'm just so thankful, God
Lord, that you gave me theopportunity to be here tonight
and to share this.
And, Lord, I pray God, that thewords that were spoken, Lord,
Father, that it would hit theperson that it needs to hit and
speak to who it needs to speakto.
God, Lord, and we know the wordtestimony means to do it again.
(40:58):
And Lord.
God, I just pray that you woulddo this again in somebody's life
in some marriage.
Lord, that's out there, that'sstruggling.
God, I know that your willwould be, god, that people
aren't going to have to beseparated, they're not going to
have to go through a divorce.
Sometimes that's the best thing.
But, god, I know that you want,you love marriage.
(41:18):
And God.
I just I pray in Jesus' name.
Lord, father, that, as this isbeing heard, as it's being
listened to, god, lord, thathearts would be changed.
Lord, that you would be liftedup through it, God, and that you
would draw all men to you, godthrough what was said?
Tonight.
Ashley Frazier (41:35):
Lord In Jesus' name, yes, god, and I just want
to bind any spirit of pride andshame, lord, that can entrap so
many from coming forward.
Like we've said, testimonymeans do it again.
Like we've said, testimonymeans do it again, and the
things that were broken and truewere pride and were that shame
(41:58):
and that fear of coming out.
So I just say that's broken inJesus' name.
Thank you Jesus.
Yes, thank you Jesus and God.
I just ask, lord that you wouldjust wrap this up in redemption
.
Yes, lord, just wrap this up inredemption.
God, lord, our story isbeautiful and it's redeeming.
(42:19):
And.
I want to see it done again.
That's right, so many people.
Kim McIntire (42:26):
So we say do it again, lord.
Thank you, jesus and Lord, weall come in agreement, yes, and
we give you all the glory, theholy, holy name of Jesus.
We pray amen.
Drew and Ashley, thank you somuch thank you so much.
Well, thank you again for beinghere and thank you, listeners,
(42:48):
for joining us for this episode.
This concludes our threeepisode marriage series.
Marriage series.
If someone you know isstruggling in their marital
relationship, please share thisseries with them.
We have been praying there willbe healing found through these
testimonies.
Once again, you can find us onour website at
itstimetoriseuporg, and oursocial media platforms are there
(43:11):
.
May God's grace and peace bewith you all, through Jesus
Christ, our Lord.
Welcome to the it's Time to Rise Up podcast.
I'm your host, kim McIntyre.
We know there are so manythings you could do with your
time, so thank you for choosingto spend your time listening
today.
We pray you are encouraged andblessed by what is shared.
If you're not familiar with ourshow, check out our website at
itstimetoriseuporg.
There you will find our socialmedia links and, as for our
(00:31):
podcast platforms, you can findus on YouTube, apple Podcasts,
spotify and anywhere else youfind your podcast.
We also want to remindlisteners that our annual Rise
Up conference is August 1st and2nd at the Keter Center near
Branson, missouri.
There is a discount for ourpodcast listeners.
Just enter podcast15 when yougo to the website to register.
(00:54):
I can't wait to see you allthere.
Well, we have our third part ofour marriage series tonight,
with an interview with Drew andAshley Frazier.
I'm so excited to have you guysin the studio.
Welcome back, ashley.
Yes, you were here for one ofour Abide Bible studies, and so
(01:16):
our listeners have heard yoursweet voice before, so I'm glad
you're back and you brought yoursecond half with you tonight.
Welcome, drew.
Thank you so much.
I'm so glad you're back and youbrought your second half with
you tonight.
Welcome, drew, thank you somuch, I'm glad you're here.
I appreciate you guys beingwilling to share your story
Absolutely.
I know it's going to be ablessing to so many.
You both are such a joy.
I know you through ministry.
(01:37):
You both serve children.
You specifically children,ashley and Drew, specifically
youth.
Drew Frazier (01:45):
Right.
Kim McIntire (01:45):
My granddaughter is in the Littles program and my
grandson is in the youthprogram at a local church where
we attend, and what I've seen inboth of you is the love of
Christ pouring out into thefuture generation.
Yeah, and what can be betterthan that?
Right?
Drew Frazier (02:04):
Right.
Kim McIntire (02:07):
Raising up the teacher church, and so that's
why I'm honored to have you here, because I've witnessed that
and my family is a benefactor ofthat, so thank you.
Well, let's just open with youguys sharing a little bit about
yourselves.
Whichever one wants to go first, feel free.
Ashley Frazier (02:21):
Yeah, well, thank you, kim.
It's an honor to be here and toshare, so we appreciate you for
asking.
Oh, you're so welcome.
Yeah, so we are Drew and AshleyFrazier and we have been
married for 16 years.
It's crazy, that's a long timewe started young.
Kim McIntire (02:42):
Yeah, I was going to say you look so young, how
can you be married 16 years?
But I totally believe you.
Ashley Frazier (02:49):
Yes, so we were 19 and 20 when we got married.
But yeah, we have threebeautiful kids.
Aiden is 14, going on 15.
Oh, my Madeline is 12.
And Jude is 9.
Oh, my goodness.
Kim McIntire (03:05):
Those is 12 and Jude is 9.
Oh my goodness yeah.
Those are perfect spaces.
Ashley Frazier (03:08):
Yeah, it was.
Kim McIntire (03:09):
Did you?
Ashley Frazier (03:09):
plan that we planned Aiden and Maddie, but
Jude was our surprise.
We didn't know, we needed thebest surprise.
Kim McIntire (03:18):
Yes, the best surprise, absolutely.
That's so good yeah.
Ashley Frazier (03:21):
Awesome.
So I was a stay-at-home mom for10 years and then two years ago
actually this month I came onstaff at the church and just
felt called to do that and ourkids were getting older and my
homeschool, but it just allflowed and worked beautifully
(03:41):
because that's what the Lord hadyou know for that season.
Flowed and worked beautifullybecause that's what the Lord had
you know for that season.
And then just this lastSeptember Drew came on staff as
well and so it's just been soneat to just as we do life with
each other, do ministry and allof it together.
Yeah, yeah, it's been so cool.
Kim McIntire (04:01):
Every part connected.
I love that that's so good.
Thank you, Ashley.
How about you, Drew?
Drew Frazier (04:07):
So, yeah, we just we're a church family.
That's what we do.
Our lives are really focusedaround God and around church and
around each other too.
We love spending time togetherand we take every opportunity
that we can to be together.
We enjoy just sitting in frontof the TV, you know, enjoying a
show.
We also enjoy playing gamestogether and we work together,
(04:29):
obviously, but that alsoincludes working at our house.
We like to get out and doanything around the house that
we can picking up sticks,whatever it is but we involve
our whole family and that's justhow we do things.
Ashley Frazier (04:43):
We like to do it that way and I make him do a
puzzle with me every now andthen.
Oh yeah.
Kim McIntire (04:46):
Oh yes, do you love that, drew, I do, I do, I
don't like puzzles.
Drew Frazier (04:51):
If she's there, then I'm all about it.
Kim McIntire (04:52):
I love that.
That's so good.
Well, there's plenty of sticksto pick up in this season right,
right, yes, oh, my goodness.
Okay, well, thank you so muchfor sharing that about
yourselves.
This episode we're going tofocus on living surrendered to
Christ in marriage and in life,and you guys are the final of
(05:15):
three interviews which I sharedalready, and so we're going to
start a little differently withthis one, and that is how did
you meet?
Drew Frazier (05:24):
So we met at a young age.
I don't know when exactly thatwas.
As far as I can remember backshe's always been there.
She grew up in the town that mygrandpa was a pastor, and so
when I would go visit his churchI would see her and she would
be a part of that town.
And I don't remember anyinteractions really that we had,
or the very first time that weeven had a conversation, but I
(05:47):
do know that the church that Igrew up in she would visit from
time to time around the age 12,11 or 12.
And I began to really noticeher around that time, you know,
as I was coming into teenageyears, she really stood out, and
past that there were a fewtimes that we had some
(06:08):
conversations, but past that,when my grandpa died, my dad
took the church as the leadpastor, and so we moved into
that town, into that community.
And there she was and wedeveloped a relationship very
quickly.
It was a friendship.
She's just been my best friendfor a long time and as teenagers
(06:32):
we just enjoyed being together.
It was just one of those thingsthat we could sit, we could
talk, we could play games, wecould do whatever, and as long
as we were together, we werevery comfortable around each
other.
And that developed into adating relationship and then we
got married after that.
Ashley Frazier (06:50):
Yeah, yeah, it's funny.
I actually remember, um, Iguess I'm a knower, kim I.
I just knew things.
Um, he, he was actually in acar accident before we even
began dating and um, I rememberthe morning that they told us
that there was an accident and Iwas 15.
(07:10):
We hadn't even began dating andI just knew, god, you know he
has to be OK, I know he's theone I'm going to marry.
And that even almost made mehesitate when he asked me out to
start dating, because I'm like,well, I'm going to be with you
for the rest of my life, like Ialready knew.
Kim McIntire (07:27):
You know he was the one, but yeah, You're the
only person that I actually knowlike real life person.
I've heard people say that oninterviews like TV or something,
or just in books or interviewslike in magazines, but I've
never heard someone that I knowsay I knew, yeah, I knew that he
was the one.
Ashley Frazier (07:47):
Yeah, I know, at 15, it was kind of crazy.
But so, yeah, when he asked meout, I almost was like I
remember talking to my mom andjust being like should I say yes
, you know?
Because I'm like this is it,you know?
And?
But I'm so glad I did.
It's been so fun and, like hesaid, we've always just been the
best of friends.
Kim McIntire (08:08):
That's the best marriage.
If you began as friends, youdon't have to figure that out
later.
Right, right, right, very wise,a very wise way to start, for
sure.
Ok, so how about when you weresaved, because you obviously
were raised in church when didyou make a personal decision,
(08:28):
drew, to follow Christ as yourLord and Savior?
Drew Frazier (08:31):
Well, I started really early.
I can remember going forward asa little guy, four or five
years old, at Children's Churchat the church that I grew up in.
And.
I know that I had a relationshipwith Jesus at that point.
I know that he would speak tome, that I would talk to him as
a young person, and I know thatGod placed a call on my life at
(08:51):
that point as well.
I know that, looking back on itand reflecting, and God sharing
things with me about when I wasthat age, there were so many
things that I know that he hadfor me and he had plans for me.
And you know, you grow up andas you grow up, things happen
and it was just.
There was things that camebetween me and him and you know
(09:16):
nothing that he did.
Definitely this was all me, butI had a really, really, really
good rededication at 32 yearsold, so that wasn't too long ago
, just several years ago, and mylife was just changed at that
point, you know it was justturned around.
Kim McIntire (09:35):
That's amazing.
I can't wait to hear more aboutthat in a minute.
What about you, Ashley?
When did you receive Christ asyour Savior and Lord?
Ashley Frazier (09:43):
Yeah, well, raised in church.
So I don't remember if I hadlike a three-year-old,
four-year-old, you know, askJesus into my heart moment.
But the moment I remember I hadbeen six or seven years old,
wow, and the Spirit was justmoving in the church.
It was a Sunday night service.
You know, the kids are all inservice and all the kids are in
(10:06):
the pews still and all thegrownups were in the altar and
God was moving and I rememberthe Lord speaking so clearly to
me to just go up and raise myhand and to surrender to Him.
You know, surrender my life toHim and worship Him.
And I thought, well, what areall these people going to think?
(10:26):
You know this little kid goingup there and doing that?
I kind of had that thought in myhead but thankfully the voice
of the Lord was more persuasivethan my own.
What ifs?
So that was such a marker in mylife to go up and surrender and
give my heart to Him and mylife to Him.
(10:46):
And I actually remember openingmy eyes and there was like all
of the adults circled around meand it was just beautiful.
And I've always just had adesire to serve the Lord and to
be used by Him and definitelyhave not lived that out
perfectly by any means.
(11:07):
There's been many times in mylife where I've not put Him in
the place that he should be, butI'm just so thankful for His
faithfulness.
I've never turned away from Him, you know, and he's just always
pursued me in such a beautifulway and I keep growing closer
and closer to Him all the timethat's sweet.
Kim McIntire (11:29):
Yeah, it's a sweet journey.
Well, we know that being savedand living a life surrendered to
the Lord are not the same,right, yeah?
Drew Frazier (11:38):
that's right.
Kim McIntire (11:38):
I've lived that journey.
I think you guys have livedthat journey.
You guys have lived thatjourney.
And so, drew, what led you to aplace where you were determined
to surrender your whole life toChrist?
For me that was a pit.
I don't know if that's true foryou, but I've not heard your
story.
But we have this.
(12:04):
Really, it's a verse that westand on, rise Up, stands on.
We overcome by the blood of theLamb and the word of our
testimony Absolutely.
So, part of why you're here isbecause you have a redemption
story.
That's right.
So I would just love for you tojust take a few moments and
share that, okay.
Drew Frazier (12:17):
It might be a little more than a few, as many
as you need it's a big story.
As many as you need it's a bigstory as many as you need.
It is a God story and it's whathe does.
It's what he wants to do witheverybody.
I know he does and I'm probablygoing to get emotional.
Go right ahead.
I hope that's okay it is okay.
But you know I did grow up inchurch.
My dad was a pastor from a veryyoung age.
(12:38):
He was a kid's pastor and anursing home pastor at the same
time and kind of a volunteerrole all the while I was growing
up.
And whenever you grow up inthat, you know it's great.
I wouldn't trade that foranything.
I loved the raising that I had.
I love that my dad's a pastor.
I love that my grandpa was apastor.
You know, that's a heritage thatwas handed down and something
(13:00):
that I'm pursuing now.
But when you do grow up, inthat you learn how to work your
way around and wiggle aroundpeople to make them think
certain things, especially ifyou're not doing well,
especially if you've got thingsthat you're hiding, if you've
got things that you don't wantother people to know, even your
(13:20):
parents or your siblings orfriends, or the pastor,
especially even your parents oryour siblings or friends, or the
pastor especially.
You know.
You learn how to put on a goodface and you learn how to make
people think about you, what youwant them to think.
And so I knew how to.
I knew how to work people.
I knew how to smile, always puton a smile.
I knew how to talk to people sothat they knew well Drew's good
(13:42):
.
You know, if we need somebody tostep in to do whatever, we know
that we can count on Drewbecause he's good, because his
relationship with the Lord iswhere it's supposed to be and he
isn't hiding anything.
He's doing very well and to thisday, that's a very big deal to
me is that I want people to lookat me and to perceive me as
being successful, as havingeverything together, and I know
(14:06):
that that probably has somethingto do with something in my
childhood.
But it's very hard, verydifficult for me to step out and
say, hey, here's things thatI've done wrong, and so this is
totally a God thing that he'sgiven me the power, given me the
ability to step in and sharesomething like this.
(14:28):
My story really reflects theparable that Jesus tells in Luke
, chapter 15, in verse 8.
It's the second parable.
The first one is the sheep thatgoes away.
He leaves the shepherd and hedoesn't know that he's lost.
He just knows that he's in adangerous situation and the
scripture tells us that theshepherd will go.
(14:48):
He's going to leave 99 to goget the one, and I love that.
And then the third parable isthe parable of the prodigal son.
The son leaves the father'shouse and he walks away from the
father, from the blessing ofthe father, and he says I'm
going to go try to find my ownway in it.
And I can relate a lot with theend of it, the point where the
(15:10):
scripture says that he came tohimself and the Holy Spirit
downloaded that moment for himand he understands that I got to
get back to the Father.
And I've been there, you know,and so I can relate with that.
Yeah, and I've been there, youknow, and so I can relate with
that.
But I read through the book ofLuke, or that chapter in Luke
and I.
Something just hits about thatsecond story.
(15:31):
It's the story of the woman whohas 10 coins and it says that
if she loses one she's going tosearch her house high and low
until she finds it and when shedoes she's going to rejoice.
And that story is all about thewoman and of course we know
that the woman is God.
But the coin is me and I canrelate with it more than
(15:57):
anything else because I can looklike all the other coins, I can
look like the other nine, I canbe just as shiny and I can be
just as valuable and I can haveall of those things and I can
stand up right beside them, butthat doesn't mean that I'm still
not lost.
Right.
And I've been there.
You know, there somethinghappened in my teenage years.
(16:22):
I learned, like I said, Ilearned how to hide things and I
picked up a habitual sin.
I picked up a sin, an onlinesin that a lot of guys struggle
with, and I took that and I knowthat there were things that I
had made agreements with theenemy about that, about myself.
(16:42):
He had told me some lies, enemyabout that, about myself.
He had told me some lies that,Drew, you're this, you're this
way and you're always going tobe this way.
And I said you know what you'reright.
And that started a that createda hole in my life.
And so, even though I had arelationship with Jesus at that
point, I wasn't completely soldout on it, I wasn't completely
(17:04):
fully surrendered to it and Icarried all of that sin into my
relationship with my wife, whoshe was my first girlfriend, she
was my fiance and then shebecame my wife and then the
mother of my children.
I carried that and I hid it asbest I could.
I hid it and I didn't do a verygood job of it at times, but I
did try and you know, there weremoments where God gave me an
(17:28):
out, so to speak, and he saidhey, here's an opportunity for
you to just get it all out there, just let her know, just tell
her everything.
And I, I didn't do a very goodjob of of doing that and I
harbored some of that and so, asa result, I just continued to
(17:49):
go further and further down andno matter what I did to turn
around to try and claw my wayout of it, my best effort was
not enough.
I'm a very, very poor Jesus.
Jesus is the only one who canreach down and who can grab you
out of that pit that you talkedabout and pull you out.
And so it continued to progressand it got worse and it got
(18:09):
worse and COVID happened and Ilost any accountability that I
had through church.
I lost the weekly download ofworship that I was getting and
my relationship with Jesus gotto the point where it was
non-existent.
Jesus got to the point where itwas non-existent.
It's not that I had turned awayjust within my own decision,
(18:31):
but I had still turned away, Ihad still gotten lost and it
(18:53):
just continued to progress.
But I remember where I was inthe middle of infidelity and
just awful, awful stuff, and Iwas in my car and I was driving
home from work and I started toweep and I said, god, you got to
get me out of this.
And he said OK, and thatstarted a series of events that
(19:19):
completely turned my lifeabsolutely around.
You know, it wasn't just now, itwasn't just that I looked like
the coin and that I had the samevalue I was, I was value, I was
, I was found, I was with therest of them, the rest of the
coins.
He had put me back where Ineeded to be and that all
started really with that momentin the car.
(19:39):
The next thing that happenedwas I went to a men's Bible
study and churches had openedback up, and so I went to a
men's Bible study and we werecovering the book Dangerous
Prayers by Craig Groeschel, andone of the prayers that you pray
in that is Lord, search me.
If there's anything found in methat you don't, that isn't
(20:03):
supposed to be there, I want youto bring it to the light and
expose it.
And I prayed it and I meant it,and that's dangerous.
You know that's dangerous, notfor me.
I mean it is dangerous for mebecause it's putting me in a
situation where I'm going tohave to expose so much of myself
, but it's dangerous for theenemy because redemption starts
to happen at those moments.
(20:23):
You know right, becauseredemption starts to happen at
those moments you know, that'sright.
So I prayed that prayer and thenext day I'm in my car again and
I just got back from lunch andI'm on my way back to work and
(20:44):
God says okay, it's time youhave to tell your wife
everything.
And I said okay, it's time youhave to tell your wife
everything.
And I said, yeah, right, god, Ican't do that, that's something
that I'll just have to carrywith me.
And he said you need to tellyour wife.
And I started a bargain withGod.
I said well, if you give me 50years, then I'll tell her about
(21:04):
it, I'll give her everything.
And he said no, no, you, youneed to tell your wife.
And so I continued to go downthat path until I said okay.
And when I said okay, he saidDrew, and this was like him
talking, like you and I aretalking right now.
Like I didn't hear him audibly,but I could not have heard him
(21:29):
any clearer.
That's right.
He said Drew, I got somethingthat I want you to do.
Mm-hmm.
And I could have somebody elsedo it, but I want you to do it.
Mm-hmm, because I want you, andI think that's really the core
of who I am.
Yeah.
Is to be wanted.
Yeah, and that fixed.
(21:51):
So many things just in thatmoment.
Kim McIntire (21:53):
Sure.
Drew Frazier (21:54):
That he said I want you.
Kim McIntire (21:57):
Praise.
Drew Frazier (21:57):
God.
So I went home and I looked foropportunities and we began to.
I found an opportunity and ittook me a while to get
everything out and to exposeeverything to my wife, but I did
(22:18):
and we started to rebuild andthe miracles that happened
immediately after that were soimmense and so it's just
unbelievable.
Like if I were to say to tellyou that and without the context
of God being involved, there'sno way it would be believable,
(22:41):
and just the things that God didto line up how we can get to
where we're at right now is sounreal.
Kim McIntire (22:48):
He's so good yes, he is and so faithful.
Drew Frazier (22:51):
Yes, he is.
Kim McIntire (22:52):
Wow.
Drew Frazier (22:56):
So, to cap that off, I did hit a moment where we
came through it and I'll letAshley share in just a second
about that.
But to get to the point of fullsurrender, I do think to answer
your question, it was thatmoment in the car just telling
(23:19):
God OK, whatever you say, I'mgoing to do it.
And he took it from there andhe just he just finished it.
Kim McIntire (23:30):
Thank you, Lord.
Drew Frazier (23:31):
Yes.
Kim McIntire (23:32):
Thank you, lord.
Yeah, there's nothing he can'tdo.
No, he's the God of impossible.
Yeah, and he's the God ofredemption.
Ashley, how was your heart justin the midst of that?
Hmm?
How was your heart just?
Ashley Frazier (23:49):
in the midst of that.
Well, I mean, obviously I wascrushed and I actually figured
out a lot about myself duringthat time and I, you know, in
preparing for this, I waslooking through my journal and I
did a lot of journaling duringthat time and one of the things
(24:14):
that I realized was I had putDrew where Jesus was supposed to
be.
In many ways, we, you know, gotmarried so young, got together
so young, and he, we you know,got married so young, got
together so young, and he Drew.
I had wrapped up my identity,my self-esteem, my self-worth,
my comfort, everything was fromDrew.
(24:43):
And so when this happened, theLord so kindly brought that to
my attention that I reallydidn't have Him in.
His rightful place, even thoughI was following Him and you know
I was just navigating all ofthe things.
The why, I think, was Iremember writing down most of
the time why, you know, and welive in a fallen world and we're
(25:10):
all broken people and Godhelped me so much to see and
have grace and compassionthrough my pain as Drew was
figuring out the why you know,um, I think one of the things
(25:31):
that carried me through thattime was I, I grieved, I grieved
.
well, I grieved, you know, thattrust had been lost, that this
was our story now.
I grieved and the Lord helpedme grieve through that, you know
(25:56):
.
Kim McIntire (25:57):
And grief is necessary.
Yeah, yeah, If you fast forwardthrough that and you don't let
your heart grieve, there'srepair to do later.
Ashley Frazier (26:05):
Yeah.
Kim McIntire (26:05):
This should have just been done from the get-go.
So I think that's a good wordfor someone listening to this
episode that if you've gonethrough this or you're going
through this, allow your hearttime to grieve yeah because the
bible even says there's a time,there's a season to grieve um
healing comes.
Yeah, when you properly grieve.
Ashley Frazier (26:25):
Yeah, one of the things I actually wrote down
was even grieving inches inchingforward.
You know I mean little littlesteps, but God put people in my
path.
I mean Drew told me about itall in an evening as we were
(26:47):
going to sleep, so there wasn'ta lot of sleep to be had that
night.
The next morning I reached outand he reached out and I
couldn't be more thankful forthe place he put us and the
people he put around us at thattime.
It made all the differencearound us at that time.
(27:07):
It made all the difference.
I mean we had people walking methrough what I was going
through and walking him throughit and there was so much
individual healing that neededto happen before we could begin
repairing the marriage.
You know.
Yeah.
(27:36):
You know, but I think I you know.
As I looked back in my journal,I asked the Lord so many times
for wisdom, for discernment, andhe gave me so many amazing
words.
He spoke to me.
He was so near and so present.
He told me to look for thefruit of repentance and, you
know, drew bore the fruit ofrepentance and the Holy Spirit
(28:10):
gave me the discernment to know.
Kim McIntire (28:11):
You know how and when I could start trusting Him
and letting Him in again.
That's powerful.
Ashley.
Yeah, not everyone mayunderstand what that means.
So when you say look for thefruit of repentance.
Could you just explain that alittle bit?
What did that look like in yourlife?
Ashley Frazier (28:26):
Yeah, well, it's one thing to say you're sorry.
You know those are words, sure,but Drew showed me he was sorry
through his actions.
You know, he bared it all.
I mean, there was nothing thathe didn't give me that I asked
for.
You know whether it's your GPSlocation or all the the
(28:49):
passwords on your phone or youknow whatever.
He gave it all so willingly andhe never once, um put any blame
on me or on any other thing.
It was he completely owned itall.
You know he owned every bit ofit and we're not I'm not perfect
.
You know he owned every bit ofit and we're not I'm not perfect
.
You know he could have said, hecould have said things, you
(29:13):
know, but he owned it all andthat was huge.
But yeah, I could just tell youknow the way he reached out to
community, the way he got intogroups.
You know it was so.
It was so the Lord, like hesays, it's a God story.
It's a God story Like there wasliterally a men's purity class
(29:36):
starting at our church that sameweek.
Kim McIntire (29:39):
Wow, how does that happen?
You know?
I've never even heard of that.
Yeah, and you have one start atyour church that week.
That week.
Ashley Frazier (29:46):
So God, so he entered into that.
He was meeting with guys.
We started to do marriagecounseling and then we ended up
splitting off and just doingsome individual counseling.
But he was humble and the HolySpirit let me know that, you
know gave me the discernment toknow that and, yeah, all of
(30:12):
those things were the fruit thatI needed to see.
Kim McIntire (30:15):
Praise God.
Yeah For the discernment too,of the Holy.
Spirit, and you know, the fruitof repentance ultimately is
change right.
Repentance means you turnanother way so you don't
continue in the same path, andso what a God story.
Ashley Frazier (30:30):
Yeah, yeah, I I wrote down.
You know I have to let go ofthe man that I thought I knew
and I'm going to start to lovethe man I know God can make him
to be.
And that's exactly whathappened.
And it's just crazy because,you know, I hadn't looked over
my journal in years and even thethings I had prayed to see
(30:53):
those things now come out and tosee.
I mean, even in my journal Ihad a portion where it said
miracles through the mess ormadness.
And, like Drew said, youwouldn't believe us if we'd say
but there were some miraclesfrom the people that he put in
our path to the doors he openedfor Drew to get out of the
(31:16):
situations he needed to get outof and get in better ones.
Like it was just amazing, itwas just God all over it, god
bringing them to that place.
And number 14, I wrote on mymiracles through the madness was
Drew's repentant heart.
His remorse is a miracle.
And I didn't realize then whenI wrote that, how true that was,
(31:39):
you know.
But that's what I would saywould be fruit would be the
fruit of it.
Kim McIntire (31:46):
Yeah, and so, though I'm sure neither of you
would wish this journey onanyone, would you agree that
it's made you stronger?
Ashley Frazier (31:56):
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I meanI thought you know that we had a
good marriage before and Ithought, but like he said, you
know him kind of wearing a maskand pretending a lot, and for me
, like I don't know, I just feellike our marriage is real now,
(32:18):
like what I thought it was wasactually it wasn't sold out, you
know, neither one of us really.
And now it's real and it'sreally good and it's really
beautiful and the way the Lordput it back together, he just
restored it and I couldn't haveasked for more, you know.
Kim McIntire (32:39):
Yeah.
And when a life is surrendered,what I found to be true in
every person I know that'swilling to share their testimony
of redemption is that, when youtruly enter into that place of
surrender, what the Lord doesand only he can is he won't
waste any of the pain or the sin.
(33:01):
He won't even waste the sin.
He'll just be like what theenemy meant for evil.
I'm turning it for good.
Drew Frazier (33:10):
Only God can do that.
Kim McIntire (33:10):
And that's what I hear in your story is that at
that place of surrender, godtook all of the things, all of
the yuck, and he's used it for apurpose, and I fully believe
that there are people listeningto this that need hope and
they're in a similar situation,and you guys are an example that
(33:33):
the Lord can do anything.
Drew Frazier (33:35):
Because when I see you guys.
Kim McIntire (33:37):
I would tell anyone you're one of the
happiest couples I know, andit's not because it's been easy
right it's not been an easyjourney.
It's been a tough journey.
And you've worked with eachother and with the Lord and
you've put Him at the center andthat surrender of God, it's not
our life, it's yours and Drew'snot.
First, god you are.
And.
Ashley's not first.
God you are.
(33:58):
That is key Because so manypeople get that out of balance.
I got that out of balance.
You don't think about when youknow the word talks about
idolatry.
You always think about things,but idols can be people you know
our spouse, our children afriend, I mean anyone who takes
a position over God or anythingis an idol.
(34:20):
And so.
I love that you brought that outin the story.
You guys have given us so muchtonight.
What I would like to ask is doyou have any specific words of
encouragement?
Maybe you, drew, for some menthat are listening, maybe you,
ashley, for some women that arelistening, and then we'll go
(34:41):
into a time of prayer for ourlisteners.
Do you have any specific wordsyou'd like to speak, drew?
Drew Frazier (34:47):
Sure, you know to the guy that's out there right
now that you know who you are,you know what you've got.
What I would just say, man, isthat you, you're going to get
through this, you're going to beOK.
But that's what it takes.
It takes getting to the pointwhere you're OK with God.
(35:09):
All the rest of it's going tofall into place.
And whenever you decide that,whenever God breaks you down to
the point that you know youcan't do anything else, you have
to expose all of it.
Find a brother that you can talkwith, that you can walk through
this with and that you can justkind of bear it all to, and let
(35:34):
that brother make sure he's agood brother in Christ.
Download some wisdom to you onhow to go about it, on how to do
it, because I know I made a lotof mistakes.
It took me a while to geteverything out and I hurt the
situation.
Instead of just getting it allover with and ripping it off
(35:56):
like a Band-Aid, I grew it outand it took a lot longer than
what it had to.
So I would encourage you tofind a community, find a brother
, find somebody that you can dothis with and let them, coach
you through it, because it's notworth hurting that person that
you love, that best friend thatyou have.
It's not worth hurting thatperson.
Kim McIntire (36:17):
That's right.
That's right.
And the enemy loves isolation.
He loves it.
So the worst thing you can dois isolate when you're facing a
situation like this.
Thank you, Drew, so much.
Ashley Frazier (36:28):
What about you?
Kim McIntire (36:29):
Ashley for our women listeners.
Ashley Frazier (36:31):
Yeah, definitely community.
I actually remember being in mykitchen, on my kitchen floor,
crying out to God and asking Himto just completely take care of
it, all the pain.
But you know, just Him, I knowyou can do it, god.
And he so clearly told mecommunity.
He said you know I'm going touse community and people around
(36:53):
you.
Community, he said you know I'mgoing to use community and
people around you.
But you know, I was in the wordand I was in prayer.
I was just before the Lordbecause I was lost, you know.
But he spoke to me so you knowI would tell.
If you're in this situation, youknow, ask the Lord for wisdom,
(37:13):
for help, for a word.
You know he had really specificwords for me.
He told me to patiently wait atone point.
And you know, another time hetold me the words by faith, one
morning I just had that ringingin my head all morning, by faith
.
And that morning, or thatafternoon at lunch, drew called
(37:33):
me and it was probably threemonths into this thing, three
months, you know.
And so we're, you know we'redoing work at three months in.
And he said you know, I'm justso sorry that we're having to do
this and we're having to walkthis road, and he had said sorry
many times, I'd said I forgiveyou many times, but at that
(37:55):
moment God said, by faith, say Iforgive you.
And that's powerful.
I said it and something shifted, kim.
It was supernatural.
I seen red, I seen the blood ofJesus cover things.
I was still and if you'rewalking through this you know
what I'm talking about I stillwas feeling it physically.
(38:17):
I still physically was hurting,like, like knives in my gut,
like this is painful you know,and at that moment he took the
pain away, the physical pain Ifelt.
Praise God he.
It took me a few days torealize, but when I would think
about the situation it wasdifferent.
(38:37):
It was thinking about itthrough the lens of the blood
and it was covered by the blood.
Wow, Thank you, Jesus.
I mean forgiveness.
So often is a process, but Iknow supernatural forgiveness is
real because I experienced it.
Kim McIntire (38:53):
So that's a testimony in itself.
It is by faith, yeah, by faith,which by faith means I don't
feel it, I don't even see it,I'm not hearing it.
Right, it's not my experience,but it's what I don't see, feel,
hear.
Ashley Frazier (39:08):
Right and experience.
Right, that's faith, yeah.
Kim McIntire (39:14):
And I think just speaking that out loud probably
broke something that needed tobe broken right Absolutely.
Ashley Frazier (39:17):
So I would say listen to the Lord and respond
in obedience when he tells youwhat to do and when you get a
word from Him.
Kim McIntire (39:26):
Such good wisdom, such good encouragement.
I know there are people thatare going to be deeply touched
and blessed by this and helpedand strengthened.
So we're going to close inprayer.
Yeah.
And so just let's feel free.
If either of you want to wantto join and pray as well, we can
take turns, ok, and I'll closeit OK.
Yeah, father God, thank you forthis time that Drew and Ashley
(39:55):
have spoken their testimony.
All glory to you, god.
All glory to you.
We thank you that you are theGod of impossible.
We believe you, lord, to healmarriages.
God, to set captives free, tobreak chains, to do a work of
forgiveness, supernaturalforgiveness by faith in Jesus'
(40:18):
name.
Lord, we believe for that andwe just thank you that you are
at work now.
Through the airwaves of thisepisode, god, we just believe.
As it goes out, hearts arebeing touched and changed and
convicted, and I thank you forit, lord.
Drew Frazier (40:34):
Yes, Lord, we're just, I'm just so thankful, God
Lord, that you gave me theopportunity to be here tonight
and to share this.
And, Lord, I pray God, that thewords that were spoken, Lord,
Father, that it would hit theperson that it needs to hit and
speak to who it needs to speakto.
God, Lord, and we know the wordtestimony means to do it again.
(40:58):
And Lord.
God, I just pray that you woulddo this again in somebody's life
in some marriage.
Lord, that's out there, that'sstruggling.
God, I know that your willwould be, god, that people
aren't going to have to beseparated, they're not going to
have to go through a divorce.
Sometimes that's the best thing.
But, god, I know that you want,you love marriage.
(41:18):
And God.
I just I pray in Jesus' name.
Lord, father, that, as this isbeing heard, as it's being
listened to, god, lord, thathearts would be changed.
Lord, that you would be liftedup through it, God, and that you
would draw all men to you, godthrough what was said?
Tonight.
Ashley Frazier (41:35):
Lord In Jesus' name, yes, god, and I just want
to bind any spirit of pride andshame, lord, that can entrap so
many from coming forward.
Like we've said, testimonymeans do it again.
Like we've said, testimonymeans do it again, and the
things that were broken and truewere pride and were that shame
(41:58):
and that fear of coming out.
So I just say that's broken inJesus' name.
Thank you Jesus.
Yes, thank you Jesus and God.
I just ask, lord that you wouldjust wrap this up in redemption
.
Yes, lord, just wrap this up inredemption.
God, lord, our story isbeautiful and it's redeeming.
(42:19):
And.
I want to see it done again.
That's right, so many people.
Kim McIntire (42:26):
So we say do it again, lord.
Thank you, jesus and Lord, weall come in agreement, yes, and
we give you all the glory, theholy, holy name of Jesus.
We pray amen.
Drew and Ashley, thank you somuch thank you so much.
Well, thank you again for beinghere and thank you, listeners,
(42:48):
for joining us for this episode.
This concludes our threeepisode marriage series.
Marriage series.
If someone you know isstruggling in their marital
relationship, please share thisseries with them.
We have been praying there willbe healing found through these
testimonies.
Once again, you can find us onour website at
itstimetoriseuporg, and oursocial media platforms are there
(43:11):
.
May God's grace and peace bewith you all, through Jesus
Christ, our Lord.
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