May 6, 2025 • 61 mins
Twenty years of marriage has taught Cassie and Jeremiah Skiles one crucial lesson: when life's battles come, stand back-to-back rather than face-to-face. This powerful image—inspired by Ecclesiastes 4:12—has become the cornerstone of their relationship philosophy.
From their unexpected beginning (she arrived with homemade pie, driving a red Firebird with T-tops!), through blending families, health crises, and spiritual warfare, the Skiles share with remarkable transparency how open communication has sustained them through even the darkest valleys. "Communication is the key to marriage," Jeremiah emphasizes, "but communication is not always easy." Their willingness to have difficult conversations—about everything from financial decisions to intimate struggles—has prevented small issues from festering into marriage-threatening problems.
When Cassie faced severe health challenges including endometriosis and eventually a hysterectomy, Jeremiah learned to ask God a simple but profound question: "Is this a time where I need to encourage her, or is this a time when I need to pray for her?" This spiritual discernment has allowed them to navigate chronic illness with grace and understanding.
Perhaps most striking is their approach to spiritual warfare. Recognizing when attacks come—often before major breakthroughs—they anoint their home with oil, stand on scriptural promises, and remain vigilant against the enemy's familiar patterns. "The enemy doesn't have new tricks," Cassie observes. "He has smoke screens and mirrors and that's all he has."
For listeners navigating marriage's complexities, this episode offers hope, practical wisdom, and a beautiful reminder that with Christ as the third strand in marriage's "triple-braided cord," relationships can not only survive but thrive through life's greatest challenges.
Ready to strengthen your own relationships? Join us at the Rise Up conference in Branson this August. Use promo code podcast15 for a special listener discount!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kim McIntire (00:08):
Hey everyone, welcome to the it's Time to Rise
Up podcast.
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(00:31):
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the underscore officialunderscore rise, underscore up.
(00:53):
Thanks for being willing to dothis podcast today.
Cassie and Jeremiah Skiles, Iwelcome you guys into the studio
.
It's an honor to have you here.
The first time I met Cassie andJeremiah it was at a local
church where we attend and they,within a year I think, became
our life group leaders.
And what I learned about youguys is the two of you can enter
(01:18):
into a room and shift theatmosphere in just like a split
second.
You bring joy into the room.
You guys have the presence ofGod on your lives.
It's so strong.
It's been such a blessing to meand I'm excited for you guys to
share your marriage testimonytoday.
But before we jump into that,jeremiah, why don't you just
(01:39):
tell us a little bit aboutyourself?
Jeremiah Skiles (01:41):
Well, my name is Jeremiah.
I was born in 1973 in Dallas,Texas.
All right, I am a pastor's kid.
I was a pastor's kid my wholelife and went to Bible college
and had some struggles early on.
Kim McIntire (01:57):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (01:58):
And, you know, got into some situations and
some things.
First of all, I got marriedwhen I was way too young way too
immature.
Kim McIntire (02:07):
I hear that.
Jeremiah Skiles (02:07):
I was an immature, selfish person, and so
I got rolling and thought Iknew who I was and what I wanted
to do, and I really didn't.
And so God had to take me, youknow, down a peg and just really
really I had to.
I had to go through someprocess to really to really
(02:28):
figure out who I am, who theperson is right now, and so that
took a little bit.
Kim McIntire (02:35):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (02:36):
And it was hard at times, sure, but we've been
married for 20 years.
Kim McIntire (02:42):
Congratulations, that's a milestone, it was.
It was 20 years.
Congratulations, that's amilestone.
Jeremiah Skiles (02:46):
It was 20 years in September, and when I first
asked Cassie to marry me, Icalled her and she said yes,
I'll marry you.
Who is this?
Cassie Skiles (02:55):
No, I didn't.
Kim McIntire (02:57):
Oh, my word, that was a bad joke, I'm just kidding
, I love it.
Jeremiah Skiles (03:04):
Yeah, so we have.
You know we've had some ups anddowns in our marriage, but I'll
let Cassie tell you a littlebit about herself as well.
Cassie Skiles (03:11):
Yes, that's why I'm Cassie.
Welcome, cassie, hi.
So yeah, I was a naive younglady whenever I met Jeremiah.
No, I just I hadn't had verymuch experience in relationships
and you know, I was actuallyonly 21 when we got married.
Jeremiah was 31.
(03:31):
So there's 10 years between us.
He robbed the cradle, Come on,what I had prayed for, and I'd
been in a few relationships thatweren't that, and I'd kind of
come to a place where I thoughtthat wasn't even possible, what
I was praying for wasn'tpossible.
So I'd kind of given up hopeand I was like you know what you
(03:54):
know, I'm going to just turn mylife over to God completely,
and that's what I'm going tofocus on right now is just, you
know, completely beingsurrendered to Him.
And it was during that seasonof my life that I met Jeremiah
and it was a mutual friendshipthat my sister was engaged to,
(04:16):
her now husband and their family.
Her husband's family is a largefamily and Jeremiah was
actually kind of grafted intotheir family and he would be
there a lot whenever we'd youknow, and I would go with my
sister over there and we'd, youknow, hang out and play cards
and do different things, and sohe was at these things a lot and
(04:38):
that's kind of where we sort ofgot to know each other.
Jeremiah Skiles (04:41):
It was after I was.
I was married and divorced allin a six year span and I was
still in my twenties, and sothis family has a bunch of bunch
of boys about my age and I juststarted showing up at their
house on Sunday afternoon fordinner and I just kind of got my
plate and went right up there.
So I was just kind of like partof the family.
And that's when she startedcoming over.
(05:02):
Yes, I love that.
Cassie Skiles (05:02):
Yeah, I was just kind of like part of the family,
and that's when she startedcoming over.
Yes, I love that.
Kim McIntire (05:04):
That's so good.
Cassie Skiles (05:05):
I remember one of the first times that I came
over there.
I had a pie with me and I wasdriving at the time a Firebird.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:14):
Yes, red Firebird with T-tops.
Cassie Skiles (05:16):
Come on, he was definitely, you know, turned his
attention in my direction whenI came in the door carrying a
pie and driving a Firebird.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:25):
It was the pie.
Kim McIntire (05:26):
Blonde hair, red Firebird homemade pie.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:29):
Come on yeah.
Kim McIntire (05:30):
Most guys dream right there.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:32):
I was like I'm ready, lord, right now.
Kim McIntire (05:34):
That's so sweet, I love it.
And do you guys have kids?
Jeremiah Skiles (05:38):
We do we do Isaac Wayne yes.
Cassie Skiles (05:41):
We have Isaac Wayne, we also have Kaya, which
it's Jeremiah Hezekiah II.
Yes, he is he's?
Married with two little girls Ihad him when we got married.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:51):
He was eight years old when we got married,
yes, and so I had him by myselffor about four years in that
span, and so we were batching it, him and I together.
And so, yeah, he was eightyears old when we got married
and I learned through my firstmarriage you don't have a child
right off.
He's a great kid, he's a greatdad.
(06:16):
But we took some time, we did,and had, you know, our three or
four years Was it three years orfour years?
Before Isaac came along, it wasthree, three years out, yeah,
three years.
And then we had a multiplefamily.
What do you call that?
A blended family, a blendedfamily?
Then we had a blended family.
Kim McIntire (06:33):
That's awesome.
So we've actually and twograndbabies, right.
Jeremiah Skiles (06:36):
Yep, we have two grandbabies, two girls, and
they're messes.
They're a mess.
Kim McIntire (06:43):
They're adorable.
I've seen them.
Oh yeah, they're adorable.
Cassie Skiles (06:48):
We love them Super cute.
Isaac Wayne will be 18 in Aprilso we're going to be.
I'm thinking we're going to beempty nesters before too long
too.
Kim McIntire (06:56):
What a fun season.
Cassie Skiles (06:58):
Yes, absolutely.
Kim McIntire (06:59):
That's so good.
You guys have a lot going on inyour life right now.
Jeremiah Skiles (07:03):
We had.
It was just different seasonsin our lives, because we were a
blended family and then we weresingle.
I was a single dad by myself,and then we were a blended
family and then we were anuclear family because Kaya
moved on and he moved out, andthen it's just us three now.
So then we're a nuclear family,so we can speak to all
different kinds of situationsand things.
(07:24):
It's things God has reallyblessed us in that area.
Kim McIntire (07:28):
It's so exciting to get to hear your journey,
because I just know pieces ofyour journey.
I haven't known you for verylong, just a few years, but why
don't we start with what lifewas really like before you even
met?
Maybe just take a few minutesto talk about that, you know,
before you ever met at thefamily's house.
Cassie Skiles (07:50):
Okay, well, I know for me I kind of touched on
a little bit that I had a fewrelationships that really were.
You know, some of them werejust kind of I was young, I'm
like my first relationship whenI was 16.
And it's anything, anybody.
When you have your firstrelationship it's not really
real.
For some people it might be,but for me it really wasn't you
(08:11):
know, Right, right, and you knowthat didn't really last.
But then I did, you know, dateanother person that really
wasn't a match for me and hereally wasn't the person that I
had prayed for.
And you know it wasn't really.
You know it didn't gel, but Iwas trying to force it anyway,
right, just because I was in aplace where I was like you know
(08:32):
what, that person doesn't exist.
So I guess I'm going to just,you know, date this person
instead and it just it wasn'tgood, but God delivered me from
that relationship.
I guess you could say, yeah,but God delivered me from that
relationship.
I guess you could say, and youknow, really brought me to the
place of, you know, having myheart open to Him.
And to say that in my prayers Ihad prayed for a man who'd been
(08:55):
divorced and had a child reallywasn't in my prayers and really
in the scope of you know, whenwe would talk and flirt and, you
know, have fun, and there was aconnection there for sure.
I remember having a conversationwith my mom and it was kind of
in that again in this season,where I was like this guy
doesn't exist and I don't,nobody is ever going to, you
(09:18):
know, see me in a different wayand I'm just, I'm always going
to be alone.
And my mom was actually the onethat said I don't know if
you've paid attention or not,but Jeremiah Skiles, he looks at
you in a different way and Iwas like he wouldn't even give
me the time of day, you know,and I kind of thought he was in
a different level of you know.
That's not really.
He's not somebody that wouldconsider me.
(09:39):
She said no, I've seen the wayhe looks at you.
He's taken with you.
Jeremiah Skiles (09:45):
Moms know, yeah , they do Shout out to Mama
Joyce I love Mama Joyce, I loveher.
Cassie Skiles (09:52):
I opened my heart up to that and look what
happened.
Yeah, now here we are, howabout you, Jeremiah?
Kim McIntire (09:58):
What was life?
I mean, you were a single dad,bachelor with a son.
Jeremiah Skiles (10:03):
Yep, I was a single dad.
He was almost in kindergarten.
He was four or five, he wasfive.
Kim McIntire (10:09):
So he was eight when you got married.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (10:26):
So we, him and I, we just had a little rent
house and we would just hang out.
Because I was like, wheneverlife kind of fell apart, I was
like, okay, what do what do Ineed to do?
And I was just kind of I justsought counseling from different
people Some people that had,you know, had been through
similar situations and theadvice that I got was you need
to focus on your son.
Um, they don't need to worryabout anything else, but focus
on, I mean, obviously, myrelationship with God is, is has
to be, number one.
But he was like your son isyour, your next, your next
(10:47):
priority right now.
Cause that that should take toppriority over everything except
for your relationship with God.
So that's what I did and Iwasn't really looking for anyone
in particular.
I mean, I kind of knew what ifI told God, if I do get married
again, this is kind of what Iwant, but if, if I need to stay
single for the rest of my life,I'm okay with that.
(11:07):
And so you know, and I justfocused on him and we had, you
know, we had a blast, we wouldgo travel and we would do
different things, and Pizza Innand Joplin was kids eat free on
Tuesday night Perfect On thebuffet, I love it.
And then the movies were 50cents.
So it was like, dude, we had aTuesday night date on schedule
(11:28):
every time.
So sweet.
But yeah, it was lonelysometimes but I learned how to
cook a few more things than whatI knew before.
So, and you know, just in thatsearch, trying to find, you know
, telling God, those thingsabout this is what I kind of
want.
But if not, then I'm good.
Kim McIntire (11:49):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (11:50):
Yeah.
Kim McIntire (11:50):
So you guys met, you start hanging out.
When did it become an officialdating relationship?
Like who wants to tell thatstory.
Cassie Skiles (11:58):
I feel like it was pretty early on.
We, you know, again, there wasjust a spark there, for sure,
and I can't remember if youofficially, like, actually asked
me out, or I'm trying toremember because there was a
couple of different things thatI know were yeah there's a
couple of different situations.
Jeremiah Skiles (12:17):
when I was, we were, I was leaving the mall
back when the mall was cool, andso a long time ago I was
leaving the mall and I think youcalled me or I called you, I
can't remember.
Anyway, she was like yeah, I'mjust at the mall.
And I was like, well, I'm atthe mall too, and I had already
left and I was down the road.
So I turned around and I waslike you want to get some Orange
(12:39):
Julius?
And she was like yeah, sure,and so we sat down and just had
a little chat there.
It wasn't really like a firstdate, but it was like just kind
of feeling things out.
And Cassie doesn't even likeOrange Julius.
I don't.
Cassie Skiles (12:49):
So we came over there and kind of sipped around
on it.
I got one and I drank it anyway.
I was like, yeah, this is great.
I miss Orange Julius at themall.
I miss it.
Jeremiah Skiles (12:58):
It was amazing.
Cassie Skiles (12:59):
We were dating and I know that one of the
things we did when we weredating again, this is kind of
another example of that he said,hey, I'm going to go, I lead
this life group and we're goingto go paintballing.
And I was like, oh yeah thatwould be great, so I'd never
been.
Oh my, and I was like, yeah,I'll go paintballing.
Worst decision of my life.
Kim McIntire (13:20):
That was terrible, oh my decision of my life, oh
my girl.
Cassie Skiles (13:23):
So there's a picture of me and I just look
like I'm.
Jeremiah Skiles (13:25):
It is so funny.
I wish we could get it up forthe podcast.
It is so funny.
Cassie Skiles (13:28):
Yeah, she looks like this.
I've got my helmet on and I'mjust like defeated yeah.
Kim McIntire (13:34):
I would strongly recommend to anyone that I'm
friends with Don't go paintball.
Jeremiah Skiles (13:38):
Don't go paintball.
Don't go paint up, it'll beokay.
Cassie Skiles (13:43):
Yeah, we were dating and I was like, yeah,
that sounds like fun, that'sgreat, let's do it.
Kim McIntire (13:48):
Oh, I love it.
Yeah, so sounds like it was afun time from the very beginning
.
Yeah, that's exciting and youguys both, I know are like you
have such strong faith.
Was faith a big part of yourrelationship from the beginning,
or did you grow into that?
Cassie Skiles (14:06):
No, absolutely.
Faith was really the hallmarkof how we started our
relationship.
I think both of us were in thatseason of, you know, completely
surrendering our life to Godand saying, okay, if that
involves somebody coming into mylife, that's awesome, but if it
doesn't this is where my focusis right now.
(14:28):
It's on God, and I knew from ayoung age that the Lord had
drawn me close to Him and therewas an intimacy with Him that I
don't think a lot of people getto experience, especially at
such a young age, and I knewwhoever I was going to spend my
life with had to understand thatand had to really come
(14:51):
alongside me with that, and thatwas something that I know that
we both openly talked aboutwhile we were dating, and he was
on the same page with me inthat it changes everything.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it.
Kim McIntire (15:05):
That's not how we started.
We were Everett and I.
We were churchgoers, so we werefaithful to church, but not so
much faithful to the Lord.
There's a difference, right?
So you can go to church threetimes a week and that doesn't
mean you have a personalrelationship or a deep faith in
the Lord, so I just think that'sa beautiful story.
(15:27):
I mean, start to your story isthat Christ was there at the
beginning, in the center of yourrelationship.
So I love that.
So share with us just some ofthe ups and downs of your
marriage journey.
Whoever wants to start.
Cassie Skiles (15:43):
I've talked a lot lately, so you just take this
one, go ahead.
Kim McIntire (15:47):
Yeah, like what stands out to you is just some
of the mountaintop moments, orvalley moments.
Jeremiah Skiles (15:53):
Right, and a lot of it has to do with our
differences.
When Cassie and I got marriedshe was two weeks ahead and I
was two weeks behind, and so wekind of met right there in the
middle.
And so that will cause ups anddowns, because I have a kind of
a carefree, not a lot of thingsbother me attitude about a lot
(16:15):
of stuff, and so I had to, I hadto kind of rein some of that
back in, because there's there'sthings that you have to take
serious and there's things thatyou have to understand.
And then Cassie was a little onthe uptide side.
Kim McIntire (16:29):
Very serious, very yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (16:31):
Sexless, and there's this and we got to do
this.
And then you know, and I'm, andhere I am wild and crazy over
here.
So we, we kind of those thosethings will cause ups and downs,
sure In finances, in decisionmaking about in-laws and
families and things, and sothat's we had.
We had our struggles, ups anddowns, but we were already at
(16:54):
that place to where we knew thatthis was, this was, this was
real.
I mean, we were engaged forfour months and we were, we
dated for four months and we'reengaged for four months, so
eight months we were, we weremarried.
Cassie Skiles (17:07):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (17:08):
And so, yeah, the, the high, high, highs are.
You know, whenever I firstheard Cassie sing, we were, we
were kind of dating and somebodywas like, oh, people would tell
me, oh, she sings wonderful andI have a whole, I have a family
that is full of wonderfulsingers and musicians.
And I was like, okay, calm down, I've heard people sing before.
(17:31):
And so we went to something andshe was doing the altar call.
She wasn't doing the altar call, she was singing at the altar
call.
Kim McIntire (17:39):
Right.
Jeremiah Skiles (17:39):
And she sang Mercy Seed oh my.
And it was I mean.
Kim McIntire (17:44):
Yeah, she sang Mercy.
Jeremiah Skiles (17:46):
Seat.
Oh my, and it was.
I mean, the presence of God wasso strong in there.
I think I got saved again.
Wow, that was so awesome.
That was a joke, I reallydidn't get saved, but I just
felt it was so strong and sopowerful when she sang that and
I was just like she doesn't justsing, she has the anointing she
does and it all works togetherwhen she sings.
(18:08):
And so I was just like, wow, Iknow that that's something that
would really I can.
What am I trying to say here,cassie?
Kim McIntire (18:22):
Well, I remember the first time I heard a Cassie
sing and I was thinking this isthe closest thing that I could
imagine would be the voice of anangel.
Oh yeah, I'm not saying thatbecause she's my friend, so I
get what I mean.
I'm not a male who isinterested in.
Cassie Skiles (18:37):
You know being like her life partner.
Kim McIntire (18:40):
So you know what I mean.
I can imagine that was a momentright, especially the spiritual
element too, yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (18:47):
Because it was more than just, it was a
definite connection.
Kim McIntire (18:48):
Her.
It was like the spiritualconnection with the Lord too.
Jeremiah Skiles (18:52):
Definitely that's so good, definitely a
spiritual connection, yeah.
And so with all those you knowups and downs, we just we've
always communicated is the mostimportant thing and that's one
thing I learned from already youknow, coming through one
marriage I knew I actually sather down and was like, look,
sometimes I'm going to saythings and it's going to sound
(19:15):
harsh, but I just have to getthem out.
I have to communicate those toyou and wherever it goes from
that we can work on.
But there's some things that wejust have to communicate.
Communication is the key tomarriage.
But communication is not alwayseasy, it's hard.
Kim McIntire (19:30):
It is hard.
Jeremiah Skiles (19:30):
Especially when there's things that you have to
say that are embarrassing youknow, if you're embarrassed
about it, or if there'ssomething stupid that you did
and you have to.
You know, or a certain way thatyou thought and you're like
well, I thought this way, sure,and you just have to get it out,
though, that communication atleast gets the ball rolling
where you can kind of deal withit, and that's what we've always
done right, yeah, and that'shonestly one of the things that
(19:53):
I really appreciate aboutJeremiah and we're both birth
order, we're both middle kids.
Cassie Skiles (20:00):
Oh wow, that's a very challenging dynamic.
Jeremiah Skiles (20:03):
Yes.
Cassie Skiles (20:04):
So when you're talking about communication with
two middles, it's almostnon-existent unless you really
work to do it.
Yeah, and we both—we'redifferent dynamics in our
families but both kind of havethat middle kid syndrome of you
know, we just don't want to—wedon't want to rock the boat, we
just want to.
You know, go to our room and,you know, do our own thing.
Want to rock the boat?
(20:24):
We just want to.
You know, go to our room andyou know, do our own thing.
So you know we had to.
Really, that was one of thethings that I appreciate about
Jeremiah, having been throughwhat he had been through, that
is that he didn't go throughwhat he went through and not
learn from it.
The Lord really brought himthrough that in a way that spoke
to him and was like, okay, inyour next relationship, this is
how it needs to be done, and youcan't let things go.
(20:44):
You can't just not communicate,you can't just, you know, bury
it and think that it's going tobe okay.
So we have had, early on, hadto have, you know, those hard
conversations but, it's reallynot something that we've had to
like.
Have a break, breaking point inour marriage and come to the
place of you know we now wecommunicate.
No, we've always communicatedand I appreciate that he's led
our home in that way.
Right, that you know we'regoing to talk about this, even
(21:08):
though it's difficult.
Neither of us really want totalk about this.
Right, we need to get this onthe table.
We can't go to bed with thisstill being, you know, out there
.
So we've now learned that abouteach other, and I know when
he's not right.
He knows when I'm not right.
And you know, we, you know, talkto each other and we're like
(21:33):
hey, you know, something's goingon, let's talk.
Jeremiah Skiles (21:33):
And actually the Holy Spirit kind of gave me
a vision when I was, when wewere, you know, when we were
first married and I kind of knewthat there would be.
I didn't think it would all be.
It's the second one, so it'sall going to be rainbows and
roses.
I knew there would be somestruggles and stuff, not that I
was, you know, saying this isgoing to be bad, but you know, I
just knew, with communicationand everything, it was going to
be some situations.
(21:54):
And so at one point I was inthe garage or I was in the front
room in our first little houseand she was back in the back
room and we were mad at eachother.
We were like we didn't argue oranything, but we had said some
things and we were mad and theHoly Spirit was like hey, you
guys are fighting the same thing.
(22:17):
If you would get back to backand fight together, you're gonna
do a lot better.
And I think you have a scripturefor that, don't you?
That goes along with it andthat's not something that I was
reading the scripture and itpopped up to me, that's
something that the Holy Spiritdropped in my heart, like you
need to fight with her, notagainst her, because you're
(22:39):
fighting the same enemy, it'snot two different enemies, it's
the same thing.
Cassie Skiles (22:43):
It's the same.
Yeah, it's the same thing.
So wise, it's the enemy.
So the verse that accompaniesthat, and it's so awesome how
beautiful the way that the Lord,his word, is living and he
speaks it to us even in momentswhen we don't know that it's
actually his word he's given us.
Yeah, so it's Ecclesiastes 4.12.
And it says a person standingalone can be attacked and
defeated, but two can stand backto back and conquer.
(23:04):
Three are even better, for atriple-braided cord is not
easily broken, right, praise God.
Jeremiah Skiles (23:10):
So and the third party is the Holy Spirit.
Yes, right, the third person,yes.
Kim McIntire (23:14):
That's right.
It's why you've celebrated 20years, yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (23:18):
Yes, you know, we will just always communicate
through all the hard times, andwe just understand that that's
what we're going to do.
There's no other option.
I mean we may take a minute.
Kim McIntire (23:31):
Sure Like.
Jeremiah Skiles (23:32):
I have to go, I need to go for a walk because
I'm going to say some thingsthat I don't want to say but
that are, you know, kind ofpinging around in my head
Absolutely, and I need to get mythoughts together before I just
open up my mouth and all thesecrazy things come out Because I
know they're not right.
I need to kind of get myselftogether so Cassie's calm and
cool and she can just zip, zip,zip.
Kim McIntire (23:53):
I think pressing pause is really a good thing for
most people, yeah, rather thanto speak in a moment of emotion
or being upset.
I wish I had known that wayearlier in our marriage you know
it was the first 15 years I wasvery quick.
Let's talk about it, let's workit out now.
(24:13):
Very bad idea when emotions arehigh, nothing gets better.
Things only get worse.
Everett finally convinced melet's wait till we're not both
mad.
It took a while but I finallyfigured that out.
But that's so wise it is.
Cassie Skiles (24:22):
And so wise.
And again, I appreciate thathe's come from that and you know
he knows his tendencies to bethat way and I can be emotional
as well, but I know for him hecan really cut you down if he's
really.
Kim McIntire (24:39):
I can't imagine.
That.
Jeremiah Skiles (24:41):
Well, we had all boys cousins, mostly all-boy
cousins, growing up and I wasaround all of them and it was
like kill or be killed Every manfor himself.
You just rip into somebody, andif you get the best of them,
then that's the way it is.
Cassie Skiles (24:54):
Survival.
Jeremiah Skiles (24:55):
Yeah, survival and so I had to kind of like,
okay, this is not the way I'msupposed to be.
Kim McIntire (25:00):
I have a question for you, cassie.
Okay, and you know, I know thatjust in our culture, many, many
families are blended.
You know, many women becomeInsta moms, many men become
Insta dads.
What was that experience like,you know, having a little boy in
(25:23):
your home who's eight years oldand you're a newlywed Like?
Talk about that a little bit.
Cassie Skiles (25:29):
Honestly, I again , prior to meeting Jeremiah I
never would have imagined myselfin that situation.
But when he came along,everything just felt right about
all of it, and Kaya included,and I never thought a second
thought about you know oh well,he's got a kid.
But you know, whatever it was,he was a part of it, he was a
(25:51):
part of the whole thing and Godbrought all of that along and I
know that I was a part of beingbrought to the picture for Kaya
just as much as for Jeremiah aswell.
And you know me coming alongkind of helped to establish some
stability there and I don'tthink we touched on this.
(26:12):
But Kaya's mother has passedhis birth mother and she was ill
in the time that we had starteddating and she fell ill after
they had divorced and so.
But it was a bad situation andshe went from being vibrant and
living life and that was takenaway from her.
(26:34):
So when I came onto the scene,that's you know, kaya was three
years into that situation of youknow, seeing his mom every
other weekend and she was notthe same person that she was
before, could barely communicate, and so to come along and be
that mother figure for him Ithink was important and I
understood that that wassomething that he needed.
(26:57):
I was very respectful and, youknow, never assumed that he was
going to call me mom, you know,and I was fine with him calling
me Cassie, but I was so happy tocome along and you know, I've
always, and something else thatthe Lord really ingrained in me
before we even got married, wasthat I enjoy keeping a home.
I enjoy even when I lived athome with my parents.
(27:19):
I would do the grocery shoppingand I would, you know, cook
meals for my family.
My parents are entrepreneursand they would sometimes get
home at, you know, seven oreight in the evening.
So I was like, you know, I'mgoing to learn how to cook and
you know, I can cook for myfamily.
And so, at a young age I tookon homemaking and I just really
enjoyed it.
And you know, when I look back,I'm like God you were, you knew
(27:47):
exactly what you were doing.
You know, even in those yearsof formative years of my life,
whenever I was, like you know,just thinking I'm, you know,
spending Friday nights at homemaking a batch of cookies
because that's what I wanted todo at that moment it was.
You know, the Lord waspreparing me for what I was
getting ready to step into.
And you know Kaya jokes thatwhen Jeremiah cooked, it was
crooked grilled cheeses andfrozen burritos.
Those were the things that heremembers.
Kim McIntire (28:09):
He got an upgrade, kathy, yeah, yeah.
Cassie Skiles (28:11):
Apparently, the grilled cheeses were always
crooked.
That was what he remembered.
But yeah, when I came into thepicture he was definitely happy
about the meals and you knowthose things that come along
with it the Lord's sandwich justall over it oh man the meals.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:25):
When we first got married, there would be a
four-course meal every night.
I'm like we're not used to this.
Cassie Skiles (28:31):
It wasn't a four-course meal.
That's a little dramatic, well,I've had Cassie's cooking.
Kim McIntire (28:36):
It's quite good.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:37):
There's lots of bread.
Kim McIntire (28:38):
There was lots of bread Cassie's cooking.
Cassie Skiles (28:40):
Yeah, I came.
My dad likes meat and potatoesand we liked, you know, biscuits
with evermeal kind of a deal.
Kim McIntire (28:46):
So that's the way I cooked, that's the way I was
raised and I love it Cookies andpie.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:50):
Come on, you're speaking my language.
Kim McIntire (28:53):
I love that kind of cooking and I enjoy eating it
.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:56):
Kaya had to start wearing husky pants after
that first shoot he did.
Kim McIntire (28:59):
That's funny.
Hey, that way, when wintercomes on, you're packed in good.
Cassie Skiles (29:05):
There we go.
That's right, he was ready.
He was ready for the winter.
Kim McIntire (29:08):
Oh, my goodness.
Well, everett and I have amemorial stone in our marriage
that impacted us greatly.
He attended a Promise Keepersin 1996.
And other than when he wassaved as a child, it was the
most powerful encounter that hehad with the Lord.
(29:29):
And we had only been married afew years and when he came home
I instantly knew like things aredifferent.
It was the first time he prayedwith me other than a meal.
You know what I mean.
Like we were kind of trained upto give thanks for your meal
(29:49):
before you eat.
So that's something we still do.
I mean, we both were raisedthat way and it's I hate to say
it's a ritual, but it's kind ofweird not to, because that's
just how we were raised and soI'm thankful for that.
But other than that time, likewe weren't really praying
together at all and he, fromthat moment on, was like God has
(30:10):
to be the center of ourmarriage.
I'm supposed to be thespiritual leader.
I'm sorry I haven't been, butI'm praying for you.
Every day I'm praying for you,and things just shifted so much
and at that point I was actuallyin the process of considering
going back to school because Ididn't have job skills and the
(30:33):
marriage was in a state that Ididn't feel like it would.
It was going to work, it wasgoing to last.
So divorce was on my mind.
Just to be honest, he knowsthis.
I'm not saying anything, hedoesn't know.
And the Lord knew.
The Lord knew what it wouldtake to keep us together and he
did it.
So I don't know if you guyshave a spiritual memorial stone
(30:55):
that you look back on.
That was just.
I mean, you said the Lord wasat the center from the very
beginning.
But has there been a place youlook back and you just feel like
there was a shiftingspiritually for you guys?
Because I know you've doneministry, I know you have both
have a calling on your life, sodo you want to speak into that?
I mean, does the Holy Spiritbring anything to mind with that
(31:16):
thought?
Jeremiah Skiles (31:17):
Well, we've been at different places where
God shifted us, and there was atime to where we were really
frustrated with a lot of thingsthat were going on in our lives.
Everything was like—everythingwas frustrating us, and so
Cassie just kept getting thisword from the Lord all things
(31:40):
new.
And we didn't know what thatmeant.
We didn't know where we weregoing to move to Hawaii and
start a church, or what we weregoing to do Go ahead.
Cassie Skiles (31:48):
Well it was.
We were doing a reading throughthe Bible at the time, and it
was the end of a year, and soI'm in Revelation, and I
couldn't tell you the exactverse that it was, but it was
where it says behold, I make allthings new.
And so when I read that, I waslike, oh, that's great, it's a
great new word for the new year.
And so I wrote it down in myjournal and the Lord brought me
(32:08):
back to it, kept bringing meback to it, and the way that he
brought me back to it it waslike I couldn't put it exactly
into words, but I knew in myspirit that there was something
more to that, and what I sensedwas that it was going to be an
all things new, as, like what weknew in that moment was getting
ready to shift and completelychange, and at the time I
(32:28):
believe you were working for itwas a marketing company.
I think, and he was unhappy withthat.
You know situation and I can'tremember exactly what else was
going on at that moment in ourlife.
Jeremiah Skiles (32:43):
Well, it was a job where I would just go into
Walmart stores all over theplace, and so I was doing a lot
of traveling.
I was kind of tired of doingthat and there was some things
going on.
So it was our church, I think.
Our time we were kids, pastors,and Cassie led worship as well,
and I think that God was justbringing us to a change.
(33:06):
Yeah, and we didn't know whatthis change was all going to
involve, and so we just feltlike you know, like whenever you
feel change coming, you justfeel like uncomfortable.
It's not like anything was badall the way around, but it's
just like we felt uncomfortable.
And we knew Cassie kept gettingthat word and we're like, okay,
it is all things new,everything.
(33:29):
God is going to changeeverything around.
And he did that, yeah.
And so, yeah, it was from thatmoment we've been and I'm not
saying we're happy every day,sure, we've had, it's just like,
shifted our perspective towhere we know that God can
change your situation, ourperspective to where we know
that God can change yoursituation.
(33:49):
And whatever you're dealingwith, you know, whether it be
job or your ministry, or yourchurch or your family, god can
change it all and make it theright thing.
Cassie Skiles (33:56):
Amen, yeah, and I feel like, really at that point
in our life was when the Lordreally spoke to us and we'd kind
of been doing this already.
But to make it a matter of everytime, we pray over any part of
our life, whatever it might be,whether we're praying for each
other, you know, because we, youknow, need something, whether
(34:16):
it's a financial need or, youknow, a health need or job
change need or something of thatnature, or even praying for
other people.
But the one thing that we alwaysfollow up every prayer is, lord
, not our will, but your will bedone.
And that's a hard prayer topray sometimes, because it
leaves it in the way of saying,well, if this means that what I
want and what I'm praying fordoesn't happen, then, lord, I'm
(34:39):
still going to be contentbecause you're going to carry
the weight of the burden for meand you're going to help me
through this.
But it was, I think, in thatseason really, that that kind of
really got imprinted into usand since then, you know, we've
tried our best to hear His voiceand to follow what he's telling
us.
And we've had job changes sincethen and church changes since
(35:02):
then and, you know, I think weboth kind of have.
From that season of our life,you know, came this ability to
be flexible, ability to bepliable.
That was actually a word thatwas spoken over us, that word
pliable.
Jeremiah Skiles (35:21):
Very early on we were down praying at an altar
in a church service and a guycame up to us and was just like
pliable?
And we just looked at eachother like what, what do you
mean?
Pliable?
Right, and that's he said.
God just told me to tell youpliable, and that's.
You know.
(35:41):
We didn't really think about itat the time, but once we got
into some situations we werelike, oh, especially through
this last, you know, through thelast little bit, we were like,
yeah, we have to be very pliableto what God wants.
Yeah, as opposed to what wewant.
Yeah, and what you know.
We have good intentions, butGod knows better than we do.
It's true, he does, he alwaysdoes.
Kim McIntire (36:01):
It's true.
Jeremiah Skiles (36:02):
And so you know , I've wanted to leave Joplin
for a long time now.
Yeah, and God reminded mebecause I was getting a little
frustrated, I don't know acouple weeks ago, and God
reminded me.
He was like Jeremiah you prayeda long time ago that you would
like to have your two boys, yourkids, in the same school from
(36:22):
start to beginning.
Because my journey was, I wentto 20 different schools, from
kindergarten to high school,right, and I don't dislike my
parents for that.
I love the way I grew up, Iabsolutely love it.
But I wanted stability in thatway for my kids and so I told
God I wanted to do that.
(36:43):
And I was getting a littlefrustrated, talking to God about
it.
And God was like Jeremiah, doyou realize that Isaac's just
now going to graduate?
He's going to graduate in May,he's already done, but he's
going to graduate in May.
So those two things, what youasked for, I've done it.
So I'm like, oh, okay, god,sorry, I didn't mean to complain
for my prayers that I prayed along time ago.
Kim McIntire (37:05):
He has to remind us sometimes.
Yes, he does.
Jeremiah Skiles (37:08):
Yeah, and so yeah, I love that.
Cassie Skiles (37:11):
That was kind of a roundabout way of answering.
We've had several, I guess youcould say things that have been
memorials for us in our marriage.
But really I would say from thevery beginning we've both been
on the same page spiritually.
But he's grown us together.
I love it yeah.
Kim McIntire (37:29):
And it shows.
Cassie Skiles (37:30):
Yeah.
Kim McIntire (37:31):
It's so obvious.
It's so obvious, Cassie, you'vebeen very open about your
health struggles and I justwonder if you would like to just
talk about what that journey islike when you're, you know,
walking it with a husband.
You know walking through itwith a husband, yeah, and even
(37:53):
Jeremiah's perspective on that.
Like how has that beenchallenging in your relationship
?
Cassie Skiles (37:59):
Well, if I could give a little bit of detail to
kind of give some reference tothat.
Please do, yes, little bit ofdetail to kind of give some
reference to that.
The health struggles that Ihave gone through have been
mainly connected to has beenfemale issues, gynecological
issues.
So from a young age I hadsymptoms of it was digestive,
(38:23):
but I would also have, you know,painful monthly periods and
things of that nature.
So it was I never.
I just thought this is normal.
And then, you know, after wewere married for a few years, I
decided I probably ought to, youknow, get this checked out.
And so I mentioned it to mygynecologist and she said, well,
let's do an ultrasound and see,you know, if there's anything
(38:45):
that comes back.
And they did an ultrasound anddiscovered what looked like a
mass on my left ovary and theysent me immediately to an
oncologist to see, you know,what would need to be done.
And you know, he said really,the only option we have is
surgery, because we can't reallytell exactly what it is until
we get in there.
So I went in for surgery andthey removed my left ovary and
(39:13):
discovered that I hadendometriosis.
So that was in 2018.
And since then I've been kindof on this journey of figuring
out you know how.
You know how to manage that andI had a few years after that
where I got, you know, a littlebit of relief after that, but
things got a little worse withthe symptoms and the things that
were happening with all of thatand ended up in 2020 having a
(39:37):
full hysterectomy.
So with that came a lot of thechallenge that would come with
marriage, came a lot of thechallenge that would come with
marriage.
And I think from the beginninghe had before I knew that.
You know, this was thediagnosis that I had.
I was open to talk to him aboutyou know, the things that I
struggled with, the digestiveissues that were accompanying
(40:01):
that, because it was definitelyabnormal.
It wasn't something that, youknow, just a person walking down
the street has this problem.
It's definitely the pain andthe discomfort and the things
that come with it.
You know, and I was nervousabout that before I met Jeremiah
because I was like this isgoing to be something that
whoever I end up with is goingto have to really understand
that my digestive system is notnormal, so you know.
(40:22):
So I'm so glad that I marriedthe right guy who understands
that and didn't judge me for itand didn't think I was, you know
, some weirdo because I hadproblems in that department.
So, but yeah, after discovering,this is what it is obviously
now that impacts.
You know our sexualrelationship and you know all of
(40:44):
those things relationship andyou know all of those things.
So it has been a journey of usreally learning together how to
come back from that, and youknow a lot of women I think
could probably go well.
I had hysterectomy.
Now I'm technically inmenopause, so that part of my
life is over, but I don'tbelieve that, and so I pray
(41:07):
about it and I'm like Lord, giveus wisdom, give me wisdom, give
me resources, help me to beable to discover what it is that
you know I need to discover, tohelp you know my body be the
best that it can and help us to.
You know, work together withthat.
And you know it's taken somejourneys of really having
patience Him having patience,for sure, and even me having
(41:29):
patience with my own body,because I've definitely been mad
at my own body before, sure,but yeah, I know that the Lord
is definitely in that andhelping us in that respect.
Kim McIntire (41:42):
Well, it was God's design for us to enjoy intimacy
as couples.
Yeah, and it shouldn't be goneone day sooner than it needs to.
Be right, absolutely.
Cassie Skiles (41:52):
So that's a gift, absolutely.
It's a gift, yeah, and the most,I guess, recent health struggle
I had last year was, I believeit's connected to the
endometriosis still being activeeven after hysterectomy.
So again, I've prayed about thatand the Lord has given me some
resources that have, really, youknow, some different things
(42:14):
that I've tried that have helpedmy symptoms and, you know,
improve those things.
And in that season, you know,obviously, any of us when we
pray, we pray, you know, lord,if you could just heal me from
this, if you could just, youknow, instantly heal me, and
absolutely I would love that.
But that's not exactly the waythat the Lord has answered that
prayer for me.
It's been a, you know, it'sbeen Lord, give me wisdom.
(42:38):
And he's answered that prayerand he's shown me, okay, here's
the resource that I need to takeyou to, said I need to take you
to, and what it's shown me isthat if he had just instantly,
you know, healed my body, thereare things that I would maybe
still be coming back around tohaving issues with, because it's
a daily thing that I need toinclude, that I need to
incorporate into my life, so himshowing me that this is a daily
(42:59):
thing, that this is going tohelp your body daily, rather
than you know it's a wisdomabout those things and it's I
don't know it's reallychallenged my faith and also
challenged, you know, my abilityto trust that he's leading me
in a way that you know is goingto help me in that respect, but
he is.
He's helping me for sure.
Kim McIntire (43:19):
Absolutely.
That's so good.
What's your perspective on this, Jeremiah?
Jeremiah Skiles (43:23):
I just I had to have a lot of patience, yeah,
and you know I don't have a lotof health issues, and so I've
had to like slow down at timesand realize, and I'll just say,
cassie's a trooper.
Kim McIntire (43:39):
She is, she really is, she is.
Jeremiah Skiles (43:43):
And you know it could.
I could let the enemy reallyfrustrate me about things at
times and just be like justwon't you just eat normal food
and let's go.
But I don't, I, and that'ssometimes what I want to say.
So, but I'm glad that I, youknow, I pray and I ask God, you
(44:03):
know, ok, is this a time where Ineed to encourage her, or is
this a time when I need to prayfor her?
So, and you just have to, youknow, take a step back and put
yourself in that situation andtry to understand it from every
direction, and that's what I'vealways tried to do, because, I
mean, it was, it was early on,and it's not like we've always
(44:24):
had these huge crisis in ourmarriage, but there are definite
times where we've had strugglesin that area and we always talk
about it.
Communication, that's right.
It's not always easy, but youhave to do it.
The hard things and the goodthings.
The hard things and the good.
The good things are easy tocommunicate about, the hard
things are not, and so you haveto just kind of take a deep
(44:50):
breath and say, all right, herewe go with it, no matter how
this is going to affect thesituation.
I got to get this out withCassie and I both, so yeah, it's
been one.
I mean, she's great, she's sucha trooper.
Kim McIntire (45:01):
I believe it, I'm a witness.
I'm a witness.
Jeremiah Skiles (45:04):
She'll get up and do things when she's not
feeling well and, yeah, that'sreally something I had to pray
about.
God, do I need to encourage her, because sometimes she just
needs to get pulled out of thatfunk that she's in, and then
other times I need to take careof her, and that's where you
really have to be in tune withwhat God's wanting you to do and
not just be insensitive.
Kim McIntire (45:25):
Absolutely, Because I can be insensitive.
That's good advice for all ofus really Like Holy.
Spirit.
What does this person need?
Marriage the best marriages areselfless.
People are selfless Absolutely.
And I just hear this thread ofcommunication patience,
determination, selflessness, theLord at the center of it all.
(45:48):
And so what encouragement Imean, if you guys have
encouragement that you wouldjust like to speak into the
listeners because we're actuallyincreasing in our male
percentages for our audience,our listening audience.
So I'm super excited.
We're at, I think, almost 20, Ithink it was 25% the last time
(46:09):
I looked.
So there are some men listening, jeremiah, so do you?
Jeremiah Skiles (46:18):
have any words of encouragement to husbands
today.
Well, I've been married anddivorced and there were some
situations that still came up inmy second marriage and I was
like, oh, I guess that was myfault, but what I, what I would
say, is just really look, lookat yourself and and communicate
with your wife.
That is because it's not alwayseasy.
(46:39):
Sometimes you know if you'relooking at things you shouldn't
look at Right, you're looking atthings you shouldn't look at,
then it's a lot easier to tellyour wife at the beginning, as
opposed to letting it get amonth and a year in advance and
say, okay, now I really got tounload some stuff and it's going
to be difficult, right, if you,if you have a situation to
where you're, you're, you know,flipping through the channels
(47:01):
and you stay on a channel fortoo long.
Kim McIntire (47:03):
Yeah, and we've all been there.
Cassie Skiles (47:05):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (47:11):
I mean, I'm surrounded by two ladies, so
probably not here, but all of usmen have been there.
We're like, oh, and then youdon't change it right away, Then
you know you need to tell yourwife about that, Say, hey, this
is what happened and that'sthat's what.
That's what I've always donewith Cassie, and I told her that
from the beginning I was like,look, there's some things that I
just have to be honest and realwith you about.
And it's so much easier becausewhenever the enemy, if he has
(47:33):
nothing to hold against you, ifhe has no, if you have no
secrets with your wife, if youhave, if you are in great
communication with your wife,see, what happens is, if you do
something like that and youdon't tell your spouse, Now you
may not If you do something likethat, he'll put a little hook
(47:53):
in your heel.
Yeah, and you think, oh, that'snot that big a deal.
I turned it, it wasn't that bad, it wasn't full nudity, if I'm
just being honest, sure, sure.
So If you, if you and thensomething else happens, the
devil, the enemy, puts anotherlittle hook in your heel Right,
(48:14):
and by the time you're done, yougot, he's got enough to pull
you backwards.
It's true.
And if you undo those hooksright away, and you just you,
just be honest and say, look,this is what happened.
That is so much easier thanletting them build up and
letting them just get out ofcontrol to where you have to
take a whole weekend to, youknow, to confess and to cry and
to ask for forgiveness.
(48:36):
It's so much easier if you justjust right off the bat, say,
look, this is what happened, Iam so sorry.
And we, we, we read about thatthis morning, didn't we?
How does your spouse like to beapologized to in our, in our?
reading so you have to find thatout and so try to understand
your spouse and what works thebest with her.
(48:57):
And because not everybody isnot everybody, not every, not
every wife will respond the sameway, so you kind of have to
test the waters, and I did, andso that would be my advice Just
be honest and get it out there.
Kim McIntire (49:12):
That's a good word and I love.
I remember the last time wewere with you guys as couples,
you guys were showing us that, abook that you're doing
devotionally together, and Ithink that's good advice too for
couples Be in the word together, find a devotional you both can
enjoy and talk about, becausethat brings you closer as well.
(49:32):
Cassie, do you have and youreferenced that, that's why I
brought that in.
But, cassie, do you haveencouragement?
You want to speak into wivestoday?
Cassie Skiles (49:40):
Yeah, I would kind of in the same thread of
what Jeremiah was speaking tofrom a wife's perspective.
I know a lot of women can jumpto a conclusion of being very
closed off or very offended orhurt when your spouse comes to
you with those things, and itcan be either party, it can be,
(50:08):
you know, the wife havingsomething that goes on that she
that I know my husband has hadin the past.
I understand that when he'scoming to me he's coming to me
from a heart that's wanting toget things and get him in the
open and make it right, and so Idon't immediately jump to a you
know a defense mechanism withthat.
(50:29):
I want to come alongside himwith that and I want to help him
, to make him feel like and helphim to know that this is a safe
place for you to share that.
And you know, if you, I wantyou to come to me and to tell me
the struggle that you had withthat, because you're a human
being and this is the thing thatyou struggle with and I'm a
(50:51):
human being.
I struggle with things that aredifferent than that.
Mine aren't maybe as open andobvious as his are, and that's I
think every relationship hasthat dynamic of.
There's certain things that weall struggle with and you know,
for me mine might be.
I'm closed in my.
I have fearful thoughts in mymind a lot and I sometimes just
keep them to myself lot, and Isometimes just keep them to
(51:14):
myself.
And I've learned that when Ishare those thoughts with him
and I say, hey, I'm saying thisout loud, because if I say it
out loud it kind of helps it tonot be as powerful.
But this is what I'm dwellingon right now and the enemy can
get me into a place of, you know, being introverted, and into
myself.
It's isolating, exactly.
And it's the same thing when hesaid there's a hook that gets
in your heel.
For him it's a hook of you know, oh, you can change that
(51:34):
channel and find something andnobody's going to know about it.
For me it's a oh, think aboutthe situation that you're
worried about and worst casescenario, and have that playing
out in your head by yourself anddon't tell anybody about it.
You just keep it to yourselfand worry about it and worry
about it.
And I can do that.
And I've learned that it'sbetter when off of me and even
though I was confessing shewould say you know what I'm
(52:16):
struggling too, and let's justpray right now.
Jeremiah Skiles (52:18):
And there goes that communication again.
You get it out there and youunderstand and you can, you know
, stand, stand back to back andfight against it.
Kim McIntire (52:26):
And it's the enemy , absolutely and exactly each
other, yep, and that's exactlywhere I was going.
Cassie Skiles (52:31):
Next is a lot of the times when he's having a bad
struggle and when I'm havingthose bad fearful thoughts or
worried thoughts, we know thatwe're in the middle of something
that the Lord is either aboutto bring us into or out of, and
the enemy's just trying as muchas he can to try to like last
ditch effort.
And the thing about it is, whenyou go through those things
(52:53):
enough times, when you gothrough those battles enough
times together, you start torecognize that the enemy doesn't
have new tricks.
He has smoke screens andmirrors and that's all he has.
And if you look back on, youknow those struggles that you
have a lot of the times it's theexact same thing that he tries
to do with you every time.
And so when you recognize thosepatterns, a lot of times we'll
(53:16):
come to each other and be like,oh man, there must be really
something going on in the spiritrealm that we can't see right
now.
But we're going to lean into theLord in this and you know he's
our third, third braid of thecord.
Jeremiah Skiles (53:29):
And you know how many times we've anointed
our house and just gone throughand prayed.
It's been a bunch of them.
We're like you know what?
There's something going on andwe're just going to go through
and anoint every window andevery doorframe and we're just
going to pray because we knowthat this is not right and
there's something going on inthe spirit realm that we don't
understand.
But we know it's not right andwe know who our, who, our father
(53:53):
is and he's not going to put upwith it.
Cassie Skiles (53:55):
So yeah, and a while back the Lord gave me.
I'm terrible about thescripture references.
I believe it's in Matthew, butit talks about Jesus being our
shepherd and our gate, and so hegave me that as a there you go.
Kim McIntire (54:09):
Okay, you knew it.
Today I was going to say 10.
There you go, john 10.
Okay, I just read it.
Cassie Skiles (54:12):
Today I was going to say John, awesome, okay,
today yep, so the shepherd andthe gate.
Kim McIntire (54:17):
Yes, yes.
Cassie Skiles (54:18):
Yes, and so this was a directive of how I pray
now, and especially when wesense that there's something
that's not quite just.
Things don't feel right.
You're my shepherd, you're ourshepherd, you're our gate.
You stand guard over our home,you stand guard over our
marriage and anything that hascome in through any method that
(54:40):
is not from you has to leave.
And in that moment you don'thave to say, well, I confess
that I did this and that and theother, the Lord knows.
And you say you know, if it wasme, if my changing that channel
over allowed something into myhome and now it's stirring
things up between us, then I'mtaking ownership of it.
But at the same time, you're myshepherd, you're my gate and it
(55:01):
didn't come through there.
And there are things that comeand we are, I believe, there are
things spiritually that come asattacks on us that we haven't
like.
You know, it's not because we'reweak and we've had a moment of,
oh, it's because of what I did,or and I've had to really learn
that too that because I'vealways been oh, you know, I grew
up in that yeah, I grew up inthat.
You know, church, of where, ifsomething's going wrong in your
(55:24):
life, man, you must, you need torepent.
You know because you're doingsomething wrong, and I've come
to the realization that notalways is that the situation.
Sometimes it's the enemiestrying to stop the plan of the
Lord on your life Right.
And so when you really takeownership of that authority that
he's given us and his blood,that covers us, and you know so
(55:44):
good and that's why we get thatanointing oil out it's like Lord
this is a representation ofwhat we know that we are covered
in your blood and your bloodcovers our home, our family and
you're our shepherd, you're ourgate and anything that hasn't
come through that has to go.
Jeremiah Skiles (55:59):
We even anointed a condo one time in
Florida because we walked in,and there was the first hour,
the first two hours, there wassomething going on.
I'm not saying there was likesomething attack, but there was
obviously something going on.
And the only thing we, what didwe anoint?
Cassie Skiles (56:13):
Oh, I didn't have anointing oil with me, but I
was like I got to find something.
So I had some hair oil, likesome you know where you'd make
your hair shiny and I was like,yeah, let's use this.
But it smelled really good too.
Jeremiah Skiles (56:23):
It smelled really good, and we anointed all
the doors and all the windowsand immediately it was gone.
Kim McIntire (56:30):
It's interesting that you guys are talking about
this, because I was praying witha young lady earlier this week
at my house and she was talkingabout some torment that was
happening at night and I gaveher some anointing oil and I
said pray over your bedroom,anoint your pillows, anoint your
bed.
You know your bedroom.
I didn't say the whole house Ishould have, but specifically
(56:52):
it's nighttime torment bed.
You know your bedroom.
I didn't say the whole house Ishould have, but specifically
there was it's nighttime tormentand people don't always
recognize, maybe they haven'tbeen taught, maybe they've never
heard it before.
But there is authority in thename of Jesus, the prayers of
his people and the oil thatrepresents his Holy Spirit and
it places a guard around us inthe spirit realm.
We may not see the enemyactivity with our eyes, but it's
(57:15):
happening.
But we can be aware and say, no, satan, not today not tomorrow
and not the day after that.
So you guys have spoken so muchwisdom and truth over our
listeners.
I'm so grateful that you saidyes to this interview.
I know it's going to bless,encourage and strengthen so many
.
So thank you for being here.
(57:37):
Thank you, listeners, for beingpart of today's episode.
Thank you for having us.
You are welcome and I just havea feeling you might be back
sometime.
I think so.
Yeah, I think there's more.
There's probably more to share.
So if you guys would be willing, I would love for you to close
us out in prayer, just to prayover our listeners today.
(57:57):
Absolutely.
Thank you, cassie.
Cassie Skiles (57:59):
Yes, heavenly Father, we thank you so much.
Thank you for every blessingthat you've given Jeremiah and I
and our ability to come andshare our journey with the
listeners.
Lord, yes, lord, you know everyperson who's listening, lord.
You know every couplerepresented and every family
that's listening here, lordJesus, and you know what they're
(58:19):
going through.
And so we pray right now, lord,for everyone who has tuned in
and maybe heard something ormaybe is going through something
, and some of what we shared mayhave touched on that, or maybe
they're just in a place ofdesperation or just reaching out
to you right now.
And so, lord, I pray that, evenas they're listening, lord,
(58:40):
that your Holy Spirit would comethrough the airwaves and that
you would reach them right wherethey're at.
And, lord, in the same way thatyou've spoken wisdom to Jeremiah
and I through our journeys andthrough the things that we've
been through, I pray that youwould speak wisdom to each and
every one of these couples orfamilies that are reaching out
to you, lord, and if they've,you know, maybe had a similar
(59:02):
situation to one of us, or tohealth issues, like I've had, or
the struggles that Jeremiah'shad, or any of those things
along the way, lord, we praythat you would bring them to a
place of finding the resourcesthat they need and to be able to
open up and communicate witheach other.
And ultimately, that's theprayer that we pray over.
Every couple is, lord, that thecommunication would happen in
(59:23):
the way that you would design itto be for them.
Lord, not everybody's going tobe like Jeremiah and I.
Some are going to be different.
But, lord, I pray that youwould show them what the
communication that they shouldhave, what it looks like for
them, lord, and that you wouldlead them in your will for their
life.
But, lord, we lift them up andwe pray for your anointing and
your blessing and your strengthover these marriages and over
(59:46):
these couples, lord, and wethank you for it, jesus.
Jeremiah Skiles (59:50):
And I come into agreement with these prayers
that my wife has prayed, and Ipray right now that you would
give the men boldness to speakto their wives and to speak out
your word, Lord Jesus.
I pray that you would just openthose lines of communication,
just like she just prayed.
Open those lines ofcommunication even when the
(01:00:12):
communication is difficult andeven when it's easy.
I just pray that you would justhelp them, lord Jesus, to live
their lives in your will, lordJesus, and in your way, father
God.
I just pray that you wouldbring out the good times, lord
Jesus, and I just give you allthe praise, lord Jesus, and
glory in your name.
Amen.
Kim McIntire (01:00:32):
Amen.
Thank you both so much.
Just a quick reminder that theRise Up conference in Branson
August 1st and 2nd will be heldat the Keeter Center.
All the information about theconference is found on our
website it's timetoriseuporg.
I'm excited to share that wehave a discount promo code just
(01:00:53):
for podcast listeners, so usepodcast 15.
Those are all lowercase letterswhen you sign up to get a
discounted rate on yourconference registration.
I'm looking forward to meetingour listeners at conference this
year.
Once again, you can find us onFacebook or Instagram at the
underscore official underscorerise underscore up.
(01:01:15):
May God's grace and peace bewith you all In Jesus' name.
Hey everyone, welcome to the it's Time to Rise
Up podcast.
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(00:31):
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(00:53):
Thanks for being willing to dothis podcast today.
Cassie and Jeremiah Skiles, Iwelcome you guys into the studio
.
It's an honor to have you here.
The first time I met Cassie andJeremiah it was at a local
church where we attend and they,within a year I think, became
our life group leaders.
And what I learned about youguys is the two of you can enter
(01:18):
into a room and shift theatmosphere in just like a split
second.
You bring joy into the room.
You guys have the presence ofGod on your lives.
It's so strong.
It's been such a blessing to meand I'm excited for you guys to
share your marriage testimonytoday.
But before we jump into that,jeremiah, why don't you just
(01:39):
tell us a little bit aboutyourself?
Jeremiah Skiles (01:41):
Well, my name is Jeremiah.
I was born in 1973 in Dallas,Texas.
All right, I am a pastor's kid.
I was a pastor's kid my wholelife and went to Bible college
and had some struggles early on.
Kim McIntire (01:57):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (01:58):
And, you know, got into some situations and
some things.
First of all, I got marriedwhen I was way too young way too
immature.
Kim McIntire (02:07):
I hear that.
Jeremiah Skiles (02:07):
I was an immature, selfish person, and so
I got rolling and thought Iknew who I was and what I wanted
to do, and I really didn't.
And so God had to take me, youknow, down a peg and just really
really I had to.
I had to go through someprocess to really to really
(02:28):
figure out who I am, who theperson is right now, and so that
took a little bit.
Kim McIntire (02:35):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (02:36):
And it was hard at times, sure, but we've been
married for 20 years.
Kim McIntire (02:42):
Congratulations, that's a milestone, it was.
It was 20 years.
Congratulations, that's amilestone.
Jeremiah Skiles (02:46):
It was 20 years in September, and when I first
asked Cassie to marry me, Icalled her and she said yes,
I'll marry you.
Who is this?
Cassie Skiles (02:55):
No, I didn't.
Kim McIntire (02:57):
Oh, my word, that was a bad joke, I'm just kidding
, I love it.
Jeremiah Skiles (03:04):
Yeah, so we have.
You know we've had some ups anddowns in our marriage, but I'll
let Cassie tell you a littlebit about herself as well.
Cassie Skiles (03:11):
Yes, that's why I'm Cassie.
Welcome, cassie, hi.
So yeah, I was a naive younglady whenever I met Jeremiah.
No, I just I hadn't had verymuch experience in relationships
and you know, I was actuallyonly 21 when we got married.
Jeremiah was 31.
(03:31):
So there's 10 years between us.
He robbed the cradle, Come on,what I had prayed for, and I'd
been in a few relationships thatweren't that, and I'd kind of
come to a place where I thoughtthat wasn't even possible, what
I was praying for wasn'tpossible.
So I'd kind of given up hopeand I was like you know what you
(03:54):
know, I'm going to just turn mylife over to God completely,
and that's what I'm going tofocus on right now is just, you
know, completely beingsurrendered to Him.
And it was during that seasonof my life that I met Jeremiah
and it was a mutual friendshipthat my sister was engaged to,
(04:16):
her now husband and their family.
Her husband's family is a largefamily and Jeremiah was
actually kind of grafted intotheir family and he would be
there a lot whenever we'd youknow, and I would go with my
sister over there and we'd, youknow, hang out and play cards
and do different things, and sohe was at these things a lot and
(04:38):
that's kind of where we sort ofgot to know each other.
Jeremiah Skiles (04:41):
It was after I was.
I was married and divorced allin a six year span and I was
still in my twenties, and sothis family has a bunch of bunch
of boys about my age and I juststarted showing up at their
house on Sunday afternoon fordinner and I just kind of got my
plate and went right up there.
So I was just kind of like partof the family.
And that's when she startedcoming over.
(05:02):
Yes, I love that.
Cassie Skiles (05:02):
Yeah, I was just kind of like part of the family,
and that's when she startedcoming over.
Yes, I love that.
Kim McIntire (05:04):
That's so good.
Cassie Skiles (05:05):
I remember one of the first times that I came
over there.
I had a pie with me and I wasdriving at the time a Firebird.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:14):
Yes, red Firebird with T-tops.
Cassie Skiles (05:16):
Come on, he was definitely, you know, turned his
attention in my direction whenI came in the door carrying a
pie and driving a Firebird.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:25):
It was the pie.
Kim McIntire (05:26):
Blonde hair, red Firebird homemade pie.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:29):
Come on yeah.
Kim McIntire (05:30):
Most guys dream right there.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:32):
I was like I'm ready, lord, right now.
Kim McIntire (05:34):
That's so sweet, I love it.
And do you guys have kids?
Jeremiah Skiles (05:38):
We do we do Isaac Wayne yes.
Cassie Skiles (05:41):
We have Isaac Wayne, we also have Kaya, which
it's Jeremiah Hezekiah II.
Yes, he is he's?
Married with two little girls Ihad him when we got married.
Jeremiah Skiles (05:51):
He was eight years old when we got married,
yes, and so I had him by myselffor about four years in that
span, and so we were batching it, him and I together.
And so, yeah, he was eightyears old when we got married
and I learned through my firstmarriage you don't have a child
right off.
He's a great kid, he's a greatdad.
(06:16):
But we took some time, we did,and had, you know, our three or
four years Was it three years orfour years?
Before Isaac came along, it wasthree, three years out, yeah,
three years.
And then we had a multiplefamily.
What do you call that?
A blended family, a blendedfamily?
Then we had a blended family.
Kim McIntire (06:33):
That's awesome.
So we've actually and twograndbabies, right.
Jeremiah Skiles (06:36):
Yep, we have two grandbabies, two girls, and
they're messes.
They're a mess.
Kim McIntire (06:43):
They're adorable.
I've seen them.
Oh yeah, they're adorable.
Cassie Skiles (06:48):
We love them Super cute.
Isaac Wayne will be 18 in Aprilso we're going to be.
I'm thinking we're going to beempty nesters before too long
too.
Kim McIntire (06:56):
What a fun season.
Cassie Skiles (06:58):
Yes, absolutely.
Kim McIntire (06:59):
That's so good.
You guys have a lot going on inyour life right now.
Jeremiah Skiles (07:03):
We had.
It was just different seasonsin our lives, because we were a
blended family and then we weresingle.
I was a single dad by myself,and then we were a blended
family and then we were anuclear family because Kaya
moved on and he moved out, andthen it's just us three now.
So then we're a nuclear family,so we can speak to all
different kinds of situationsand things.
(07:24):
It's things God has reallyblessed us in that area.
Kim McIntire (07:28):
It's so exciting to get to hear your journey,
because I just know pieces ofyour journey.
I haven't known you for verylong, just a few years, but why
don't we start with what lifewas really like before you even
met?
Maybe just take a few minutesto talk about that, you know,
before you ever met at thefamily's house.
Cassie Skiles (07:50):
Okay, well, I know for me I kind of touched on
a little bit that I had a fewrelationships that really were.
You know, some of them werejust kind of I was young, I'm
like my first relationship whenI was 16.
And it's anything, anybody.
When you have your firstrelationship it's not really
real.
For some people it might be,but for me it really wasn't you
(08:11):
know, Right, right, and you knowthat didn't really last.
But then I did, you know, dateanother person that really
wasn't a match for me and hereally wasn't the person that I
had prayed for.
And you know it wasn't really.
You know it didn't gel, but Iwas trying to force it anyway,
right, just because I was in aplace where I was like you know
(08:32):
what, that person doesn't exist.
So I guess I'm going to just,you know, date this person
instead and it just it wasn'tgood, but God delivered me from
that relationship.
I guess you could say, yeah,but God delivered me from that
relationship.
I guess you could say, and youknow, really brought me to the
place of, you know, having myheart open to Him.
And to say that in my prayers Ihad prayed for a man who'd been
(08:55):
divorced and had a child reallywasn't in my prayers and really
in the scope of you know, whenwe would talk and flirt and, you
know, have fun, and there was aconnection there for sure.
I remember having a conversationwith my mom and it was kind of
in that again in this season,where I was like this guy
doesn't exist and I don't,nobody is ever going to, you
(09:18):
know, see me in a different wayand I'm just, I'm always going
to be alone.
And my mom was actually the onethat said I don't know if
you've paid attention or not,but Jeremiah Skiles, he looks at
you in a different way and Iwas like he wouldn't even give
me the time of day, you know,and I kind of thought he was in
a different level of you know.
That's not really.
He's not somebody that wouldconsider me.
(09:39):
She said no, I've seen the wayhe looks at you.
He's taken with you.
Jeremiah Skiles (09:45):
Moms know, yeah , they do Shout out to Mama
Joyce I love Mama Joyce, I loveher.
Cassie Skiles (09:52):
I opened my heart up to that and look what
happened.
Yeah, now here we are, howabout you, Jeremiah?
Kim McIntire (09:58):
What was life?
I mean, you were a single dad,bachelor with a son.
Jeremiah Skiles (10:03):
Yep, I was a single dad.
He was almost in kindergarten.
He was four or five, he wasfive.
Kim McIntire (10:09):
So he was eight when you got married.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (10:26):
So we, him and I, we just had a little rent
house and we would just hang out.
Because I was like, wheneverlife kind of fell apart, I was
like, okay, what do what do Ineed to do?
And I was just kind of I justsought counseling from different
people Some people that had,you know, had been through
similar situations and theadvice that I got was you need
to focus on your son.
Um, they don't need to worryabout anything else, but focus
on, I mean, obviously, myrelationship with God is, is has
to be, number one.
But he was like your son isyour, your next, your next
(10:47):
priority right now.
Cause that that should take toppriority over everything except
for your relationship with God.
So that's what I did and Iwasn't really looking for anyone
in particular.
I mean, I kind of knew what ifI told God, if I do get married
again, this is kind of what Iwant, but if, if I need to stay
single for the rest of my life,I'm okay with that.
(11:07):
And so you know, and I justfocused on him and we had, you
know, we had a blast, we wouldgo travel and we would do
different things, and Pizza Innand Joplin was kids eat free on
Tuesday night Perfect On thebuffet, I love it.
And then the movies were 50cents.
So it was like, dude, we had aTuesday night date on schedule
(11:28):
every time.
So sweet.
But yeah, it was lonelysometimes but I learned how to
cook a few more things than whatI knew before.
So, and you know, just in thatsearch, trying to find, you know
, telling God, those thingsabout this is what I kind of
want.
But if not, then I'm good.
Kim McIntire (11:49):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (11:50):
Yeah.
Kim McIntire (11:50):
So you guys met, you start hanging out.
When did it become an officialdating relationship?
Like who wants to tell thatstory.
Cassie Skiles (11:58):
I feel like it was pretty early on.
We, you know, again, there wasjust a spark there, for sure,
and I can't remember if youofficially, like, actually asked
me out, or I'm trying toremember because there was a
couple of different things thatI know were yeah there's a
couple of different situations.
Jeremiah Skiles (12:17):
when I was, we were, I was leaving the mall
back when the mall was cool, andso a long time ago I was
leaving the mall and I think youcalled me or I called you, I
can't remember.
Anyway, she was like yeah, I'mjust at the mall.
And I was like, well, I'm atthe mall too, and I had already
left and I was down the road.
So I turned around and I waslike you want to get some Orange
(12:39):
Julius?
And she was like yeah, sure,and so we sat down and just had
a little chat there.
It wasn't really like a firstdate, but it was like just kind
of feeling things out.
And Cassie doesn't even likeOrange Julius.
I don't.
Cassie Skiles (12:49):
So we came over there and kind of sipped around
on it.
I got one and I drank it anyway.
I was like, yeah, this is great.
I miss Orange Julius at themall.
I miss it.
Jeremiah Skiles (12:58):
It was amazing.
Cassie Skiles (12:59):
We were dating and I know that one of the
things we did when we weredating again, this is kind of
another example of that he said,hey, I'm going to go, I lead
this life group and we're goingto go paintballing.
And I was like, oh yeah thatwould be great, so I'd never
been.
Oh my, and I was like, yeah,I'll go paintballing.
Worst decision of my life.
Kim McIntire (13:20):
That was terrible, oh my decision of my life, oh
my girl.
Cassie Skiles (13:23):
So there's a picture of me and I just look
like I'm.
Jeremiah Skiles (13:25):
It is so funny.
I wish we could get it up forthe podcast.
It is so funny.
Cassie Skiles (13:28):
Yeah, she looks like this.
I've got my helmet on and I'mjust like defeated yeah.
Kim McIntire (13:34):
I would strongly recommend to anyone that I'm
friends with Don't go paintball.
Jeremiah Skiles (13:38):
Don't go paintball.
Don't go paint up, it'll beokay.
Cassie Skiles (13:43):
Yeah, we were dating and I was like, yeah,
that sounds like fun, that'sgreat, let's do it.
Kim McIntire (13:48):
Oh, I love it.
Yeah, so sounds like it was afun time from the very beginning
.
Yeah, that's exciting and youguys both, I know are like you
have such strong faith.
Was faith a big part of yourrelationship from the beginning,
or did you grow into that?
Cassie Skiles (14:06):
No, absolutely.
Faith was really the hallmarkof how we started our
relationship.
I think both of us were in thatseason of, you know, completely
surrendering our life to Godand saying, okay, if that
involves somebody coming into mylife, that's awesome, but if it
doesn't this is where my focusis right now.
(14:28):
It's on God, and I knew from ayoung age that the Lord had
drawn me close to Him and therewas an intimacy with Him that I
don't think a lot of people getto experience, especially at
such a young age, and I knewwhoever I was going to spend my
life with had to understand thatand had to really come
(14:51):
alongside me with that, and thatwas something that I know that
we both openly talked aboutwhile we were dating, and he was
on the same page with me inthat it changes everything.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it.
Kim McIntire (15:05):
That's not how we started.
We were Everett and I.
We were churchgoers, so we werefaithful to church, but not so
much faithful to the Lord.
There's a difference, right?
So you can go to church threetimes a week and that doesn't
mean you have a personalrelationship or a deep faith in
the Lord, so I just think that'sa beautiful story.
(15:27):
I mean, start to your story isthat Christ was there at the
beginning, in the center of yourrelationship.
So I love that.
So share with us just some ofthe ups and downs of your
marriage journey.
Whoever wants to start.
Cassie Skiles (15:43):
I've talked a lot lately, so you just take this
one, go ahead.
Kim McIntire (15:47):
Yeah, like what stands out to you is just some
of the mountaintop moments, orvalley moments.
Jeremiah Skiles (15:53):
Right, and a lot of it has to do with our
differences.
When Cassie and I got marriedshe was two weeks ahead and I
was two weeks behind, and so wekind of met right there in the
middle.
And so that will cause ups anddowns, because I have a kind of
a carefree, not a lot of thingsbother me attitude about a lot
(16:15):
of stuff, and so I had to, I hadto kind of rein some of that
back in, because there's there'sthings that you have to take
serious and there's things thatyou have to understand.
And then Cassie was a little onthe uptide side.
Kim McIntire (16:29):
Very serious, very yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (16:31):
Sexless, and there's this and we got to do
this.
And then you know, and I'm, andhere I am wild and crazy over
here.
So we, we kind of those thosethings will cause ups and downs,
sure In finances, in decisionmaking about in-laws and
families and things, and sothat's we had.
We had our struggles, ups anddowns, but we were already at
(16:54):
that place to where we knew thatthis was, this was, this was
real.
I mean, we were engaged forfour months and we were, we
dated for four months and we'reengaged for four months, so
eight months we were, we weremarried.
Cassie Skiles (17:07):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (17:08):
And so, yeah, the, the high, high, highs are.
You know, whenever I firstheard Cassie sing, we were, we
were kind of dating and somebodywas like, oh, people would tell
me, oh, she sings wonderful andI have a whole, I have a family
that is full of wonderfulsingers and musicians.
And I was like, okay, calm down, I've heard people sing before.
(17:31):
And so we went to something andshe was doing the altar call.
She wasn't doing the altar call, she was singing at the altar
call.
Kim McIntire (17:39):
Right.
Jeremiah Skiles (17:39):
And she sang Mercy Seed oh my.
And it was I mean.
Kim McIntire (17:44):
Yeah, she sang Mercy.
Jeremiah Skiles (17:46):
Seat.
Oh my, and it was.
I mean, the presence of God wasso strong in there.
I think I got saved again.
Wow, that was so awesome.
That was a joke, I reallydidn't get saved, but I just
felt it was so strong and sopowerful when she sang that and
I was just like she doesn't justsing, she has the anointing she
does and it all works togetherwhen she sings.
(18:08):
And so I was just like, wow, Iknow that that's something that
would really I can.
What am I trying to say here,cassie?
Kim McIntire (18:22):
Well, I remember the first time I heard a Cassie
sing and I was thinking this isthe closest thing that I could
imagine would be the voice of anangel.
Oh yeah, I'm not saying thatbecause she's my friend, so I
get what I mean.
I'm not a male who isinterested in.
Cassie Skiles (18:37):
You know being like her life partner.
Kim McIntire (18:40):
So you know what I mean.
I can imagine that was a momentright, especially the spiritual
element too, yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (18:47):
Because it was more than just, it was a
definite connection.
Kim McIntire (18:48):
Her.
It was like the spiritualconnection with the Lord too.
Jeremiah Skiles (18:52):
Definitely that's so good, definitely a
spiritual connection, yeah.
And so with all those you knowups and downs, we just we've
always communicated is the mostimportant thing and that's one
thing I learned from already youknow, coming through one
marriage I knew I actually sather down and was like, look,
sometimes I'm going to saythings and it's going to sound
(19:15):
harsh, but I just have to getthem out.
I have to communicate those toyou and wherever it goes from
that we can work on.
But there's some things that wejust have to communicate.
Communication is the key tomarriage.
But communication is not alwayseasy, it's hard.
Kim McIntire (19:30):
It is hard.
Jeremiah Skiles (19:30):
Especially when there's things that you have to
say that are embarrassing youknow, if you're embarrassed
about it, or if there'ssomething stupid that you did
and you have to.
You know, or a certain way thatyou thought and you're like
well, I thought this way, sure,and you just have to get it out,
though, that communication atleast gets the ball rolling
where you can kind of deal withit, and that's what we've always
done right, yeah, and that'shonestly one of the things that
(19:53):
I really appreciate aboutJeremiah and we're both birth
order, we're both middle kids.
Cassie Skiles (20:00):
Oh wow, that's a very challenging dynamic.
Jeremiah Skiles (20:03):
Yes.
Cassie Skiles (20:04):
So when you're talking about communication with
two middles, it's almostnon-existent unless you really
work to do it.
Yeah, and we both—we'redifferent dynamics in our
families but both kind of havethat middle kid syndrome of you
know, we just don't want to—wedon't want to rock the boat, we
just want to.
You know, go to our room and,you know, do our own thing.
Want to rock the boat?
(20:24):
We just want to.
You know, go to our room andyou know, do our own thing.
So you know we had to.
Really, that was one of thethings that I appreciate about
Jeremiah, having been throughwhat he had been through, that
is that he didn't go throughwhat he went through and not
learn from it.
The Lord really brought himthrough that in a way that spoke
to him and was like, okay, inyour next relationship, this is
how it needs to be done, and youcan't let things go.
(20:44):
You can't just not communicate,you can't just, you know, bury
it and think that it's going tobe okay.
So we have had, early on, hadto have, you know, those hard
conversations but, it's reallynot something that we've had to
like.
Have a break, breaking point inour marriage and come to the
place of you know we now wecommunicate.
No, we've always communicatedand I appreciate that he's led
our home in that way.
Right, that you know we'regoing to talk about this, even
(21:08):
though it's difficult.
Neither of us really want totalk about this.
Right, we need to get this onthe table.
We can't go to bed with thisstill being, you know, out there
.
So we've now learned that abouteach other, and I know when
he's not right.
He knows when I'm not right.
And you know, we, you know, talkto each other and we're like
(21:33):
hey, you know, something's goingon, let's talk.
Jeremiah Skiles (21:33):
And actually the Holy Spirit kind of gave me
a vision when I was, when wewere, you know, when we were
first married and I kind of knewthat there would be.
I didn't think it would all be.
It's the second one, so it'sall going to be rainbows and
roses.
I knew there would be somestruggles and stuff, not that I
was, you know, saying this isgoing to be bad, but you know, I
just knew, with communicationand everything, it was going to
be some situations.
(21:54):
And so at one point I was inthe garage or I was in the front
room in our first little houseand she was back in the back
room and we were mad at eachother.
We were like we didn't argue oranything, but we had said some
things and we were mad and theHoly Spirit was like hey, you
guys are fighting the same thing.
(22:17):
If you would get back to backand fight together, you're gonna
do a lot better.
And I think you have a scripturefor that, don't you?
That goes along with it andthat's not something that I was
reading the scripture and itpopped up to me, that's
something that the Holy Spiritdropped in my heart, like you
need to fight with her, notagainst her, because you're
(22:39):
fighting the same enemy, it'snot two different enemies, it's
the same thing.
Cassie Skiles (22:43):
It's the same.
Yeah, it's the same thing.
So wise, it's the enemy.
So the verse that accompaniesthat, and it's so awesome how
beautiful the way that the Lord,his word, is living and he
speaks it to us even in momentswhen we don't know that it's
actually his word he's given us.
Yeah, so it's Ecclesiastes 4.12.
And it says a person standingalone can be attacked and
defeated, but two can stand backto back and conquer.
(23:04):
Three are even better, for atriple-braided cord is not
easily broken, right, praise God.
Jeremiah Skiles (23:10):
So and the third party is the Holy Spirit.
Yes, right, the third person,yes.
Kim McIntire (23:14):
That's right.
It's why you've celebrated 20years, yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (23:18):
Yes, you know, we will just always communicate
through all the hard times, andwe just understand that that's
what we're going to do.
There's no other option.
I mean we may take a minute.
Kim McIntire (23:31):
Sure Like.
Jeremiah Skiles (23:32):
I have to go, I need to go for a walk because
I'm going to say some thingsthat I don't want to say but
that are, you know, kind ofpinging around in my head
Absolutely, and I need to get mythoughts together before I just
open up my mouth and all thesecrazy things come out Because I
know they're not right.
I need to kind of get myselftogether so Cassie's calm and
cool and she can just zip, zip,zip.
Kim McIntire (23:53):
I think pressing pause is really a good thing for
most people, yeah, rather thanto speak in a moment of emotion
or being upset.
I wish I had known that wayearlier in our marriage you know
it was the first 15 years I wasvery quick.
Let's talk about it, let's workit out now.
(24:13):
Very bad idea when emotions arehigh, nothing gets better.
Things only get worse.
Everett finally convinced melet's wait till we're not both
mad.
It took a while but I finallyfigured that out.
But that's so wise it is.
Cassie Skiles (24:22):
And so wise.
And again, I appreciate thathe's come from that and you know
he knows his tendencies to bethat way and I can be emotional
as well, but I know for him hecan really cut you down if he's
really.
Kim McIntire (24:39):
I can't imagine.
That.
Jeremiah Skiles (24:41):
Well, we had all boys cousins, mostly all-boy
cousins, growing up and I wasaround all of them and it was
like kill or be killed Every manfor himself.
You just rip into somebody, andif you get the best of them,
then that's the way it is.
Cassie Skiles (24:54):
Survival.
Jeremiah Skiles (24:55):
Yeah, survival and so I had to kind of like,
okay, this is not the way I'msupposed to be.
Kim McIntire (25:00):
I have a question for you, cassie.
Okay, and you know, I know thatjust in our culture, many, many
families are blended.
You know, many women becomeInsta moms, many men become
Insta dads.
What was that experience like,you know, having a little boy in
(25:23):
your home who's eight years oldand you're a newlywed Like?
Talk about that a little bit.
Cassie Skiles (25:29):
Honestly, I again , prior to meeting Jeremiah I
never would have imagined myselfin that situation.
But when he came along,everything just felt right about
all of it, and Kaya included,and I never thought a second
thought about you know oh well,he's got a kid.
But you know, whatever it was,he was a part of it, he was a
(25:51):
part of the whole thing and Godbrought all of that along and I
know that I was a part of beingbrought to the picture for Kaya
just as much as for Jeremiah aswell.
And you know me coming alongkind of helped to establish some
stability there and I don'tthink we touched on this.
(26:12):
But Kaya's mother has passedhis birth mother and she was ill
in the time that we had starteddating and she fell ill after
they had divorced and so.
But it was a bad situation andshe went from being vibrant and
living life and that was takenaway from her.
(26:34):
So when I came onto the scene,that's you know, kaya was three
years into that situation of youknow, seeing his mom every
other weekend and she was notthe same person that she was
before, could barely communicate, and so to come along and be
that mother figure for him Ithink was important and I
understood that that wassomething that he needed.
(26:57):
I was very respectful and, youknow, never assumed that he was
going to call me mom, you know,and I was fine with him calling
me Cassie, but I was so happy tocome along and you know, I've
always, and something else thatthe Lord really ingrained in me
before we even got married, wasthat I enjoy keeping a home.
I enjoy even when I lived athome with my parents.
(27:19):
I would do the grocery shoppingand I would, you know, cook
meals for my family.
My parents are entrepreneursand they would sometimes get
home at, you know, seven oreight in the evening.
So I was like, you know, I'mgoing to learn how to cook and
you know, I can cook for myfamily.
And so, at a young age I tookon homemaking and I just really
enjoyed it.
And you know, when I look back,I'm like God you were, you knew
(27:47):
exactly what you were doing.
You know, even in those yearsof formative years of my life,
whenever I was, like you know,just thinking I'm, you know,
spending Friday nights at homemaking a batch of cookies
because that's what I wanted todo at that moment it was.
You know, the Lord waspreparing me for what I was
getting ready to step into.
And you know Kaya jokes thatwhen Jeremiah cooked, it was
crooked grilled cheeses andfrozen burritos.
Those were the things that heremembers.
Kim McIntire (28:09):
He got an upgrade, kathy, yeah, yeah.
Cassie Skiles (28:11):
Apparently, the grilled cheeses were always
crooked.
That was what he remembered.
But yeah, when I came into thepicture he was definitely happy
about the meals and you knowthose things that come along
with it the Lord's sandwich justall over it oh man the meals.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:25):
When we first got married, there would be a
four-course meal every night.
I'm like we're not used to this.
Cassie Skiles (28:31):
It wasn't a four-course meal.
That's a little dramatic, well,I've had Cassie's cooking.
Kim McIntire (28:36):
It's quite good.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:37):
There's lots of bread.
Kim McIntire (28:38):
There was lots of bread Cassie's cooking.
Cassie Skiles (28:40):
Yeah, I came.
My dad likes meat and potatoesand we liked, you know, biscuits
with evermeal kind of a deal.
Kim McIntire (28:46):
So that's the way I cooked, that's the way I was
raised and I love it Cookies andpie.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:50):
Come on, you're speaking my language.
Kim McIntire (28:53):
I love that kind of cooking and I enjoy eating it
.
Jeremiah Skiles (28:56):
Kaya had to start wearing husky pants after
that first shoot he did.
Kim McIntire (28:59):
That's funny.
Hey, that way, when wintercomes on, you're packed in good.
Cassie Skiles (29:05):
There we go.
That's right, he was ready.
He was ready for the winter.
Kim McIntire (29:08):
Oh, my goodness.
Well, everett and I have amemorial stone in our marriage
that impacted us greatly.
He attended a Promise Keepersin 1996.
And other than when he wassaved as a child, it was the
most powerful encounter that hehad with the Lord.
(29:29):
And we had only been married afew years and when he came home
I instantly knew like things aredifferent.
It was the first time he prayedwith me other than a meal.
You know what I mean.
Like we were kind of trained upto give thanks for your meal
(29:49):
before you eat.
So that's something we still do.
I mean, we both were raisedthat way and it's I hate to say
it's a ritual, but it's kind ofweird not to, because that's
just how we were raised and soI'm thankful for that.
But other than that time, likewe weren't really praying
together at all and he, fromthat moment on, was like God has
(30:10):
to be the center of ourmarriage.
I'm supposed to be thespiritual leader.
I'm sorry I haven't been, butI'm praying for you.
Every day I'm praying for you,and things just shifted so much
and at that point I was actuallyin the process of considering
going back to school because Ididn't have job skills and the
(30:33):
marriage was in a state that Ididn't feel like it would.
It was going to work, it wasgoing to last.
So divorce was on my mind.
Just to be honest, he knowsthis.
I'm not saying anything, hedoesn't know.
And the Lord knew.
The Lord knew what it wouldtake to keep us together and he
did it.
So I don't know if you guyshave a spiritual memorial stone
(30:55):
that you look back on.
That was just.
I mean, you said the Lord wasat the center from the very
beginning.
But has there been a place youlook back and you just feel like
there was a shiftingspiritually for you guys?
Because I know you've doneministry, I know you have both
have a calling on your life, sodo you want to speak into that?
I mean, does the Holy Spiritbring anything to mind with that
(31:16):
thought?
Jeremiah Skiles (31:17):
Well, we've been at different places where
God shifted us, and there was atime to where we were really
frustrated with a lot of thingsthat were going on in our lives.
Everything was like—everythingwas frustrating us, and so
Cassie just kept getting thisword from the Lord all things
(31:40):
new.
And we didn't know what thatmeant.
We didn't know where we weregoing to move to Hawaii and
start a church, or what we weregoing to do Go ahead.
Cassie Skiles (31:48):
Well it was.
We were doing a reading throughthe Bible at the time, and it
was the end of a year, and soI'm in Revelation, and I
couldn't tell you the exactverse that it was, but it was
where it says behold, I make allthings new.
And so when I read that, I waslike, oh, that's great, it's a
great new word for the new year.
And so I wrote it down in myjournal and the Lord brought me
(32:08):
back to it, kept bringing meback to it, and the way that he
brought me back to it it waslike I couldn't put it exactly
into words, but I knew in myspirit that there was something
more to that, and what I sensedwas that it was going to be an
all things new, as, like what weknew in that moment was getting
ready to shift and completelychange, and at the time I
(32:28):
believe you were working for itwas a marketing company.
I think, and he was unhappy withthat.
You know situation and I can'tremember exactly what else was
going on at that moment in ourlife.
Jeremiah Skiles (32:43):
Well, it was a job where I would just go into
Walmart stores all over theplace, and so I was doing a lot
of traveling.
I was kind of tired of doingthat and there was some things
going on.
So it was our church, I think.
Our time we were kids, pastors,and Cassie led worship as well,
and I think that God was justbringing us to a change.
(33:06):
Yeah, and we didn't know whatthis change was all going to
involve, and so we just feltlike you know, like whenever you
feel change coming, you justfeel like uncomfortable.
It's not like anything was badall the way around, but it's
just like we felt uncomfortable.
And we knew Cassie kept gettingthat word and we're like, okay,
it is all things new,everything.
(33:29):
God is going to changeeverything around.
And he did that, yeah.
And so, yeah, it was from thatmoment we've been and I'm not
saying we're happy every day,sure, we've had, it's just like,
shifted our perspective towhere we know that God can
change your situation, ourperspective to where we know
that God can change yoursituation.
(33:49):
And whatever you're dealingwith, you know, whether it be
job or your ministry, or yourchurch or your family, god can
change it all and make it theright thing.
Cassie Skiles (33:56):
Amen, yeah, and I feel like, really at that point
in our life was when the Lordreally spoke to us and we'd kind
of been doing this already.
But to make it a matter of everytime, we pray over any part of
our life, whatever it might be,whether we're praying for each
other, you know, because we, youknow, need something, whether
(34:16):
it's a financial need or, youknow, a health need or job
change need or something of thatnature, or even praying for
other people.
But the one thing that we alwaysfollow up every prayer is, lord
, not our will, but your will bedone.
And that's a hard prayer topray sometimes, because it
leaves it in the way of saying,well, if this means that what I
want and what I'm praying fordoesn't happen, then, lord, I'm
(34:39):
still going to be contentbecause you're going to carry
the weight of the burden for meand you're going to help me
through this.
But it was, I think, in thatseason really, that that kind of
really got imprinted into usand since then, you know, we've
tried our best to hear His voiceand to follow what he's telling
us.
And we've had job changes sincethen and church changes since
(35:02):
then and, you know, I think weboth kind of have.
From that season of our life,you know, came this ability to
be flexible, ability to bepliable.
That was actually a word thatwas spoken over us, that word
pliable.
Jeremiah Skiles (35:21):
Very early on we were down praying at an altar
in a church service and a guycame up to us and was just like
pliable?
And we just looked at eachother like what, what do you
mean?
Pliable?
Right, and that's he said.
God just told me to tell youpliable, and that's.
You know.
(35:41):
We didn't really think about itat the time, but once we got
into some situations we werelike, oh, especially through
this last, you know, through thelast little bit, we were like,
yeah, we have to be very pliableto what God wants.
Yeah, as opposed to what wewant.
Yeah, and what you know.
We have good intentions, butGod knows better than we do.
It's true, he does, he alwaysdoes.
Kim McIntire (36:01):
It's true.
Jeremiah Skiles (36:02):
And so you know , I've wanted to leave Joplin
for a long time now.
Yeah, and God reminded mebecause I was getting a little
frustrated, I don't know acouple weeks ago, and God
reminded me.
He was like Jeremiah you prayeda long time ago that you would
like to have your two boys, yourkids, in the same school from
(36:22):
start to beginning.
Because my journey was, I wentto 20 different schools, from
kindergarten to high school,right, and I don't dislike my
parents for that.
I love the way I grew up, Iabsolutely love it.
But I wanted stability in thatway for my kids and so I told
God I wanted to do that.
(36:43):
And I was getting a littlefrustrated, talking to God about
it.
And God was like Jeremiah, doyou realize that Isaac's just
now going to graduate?
He's going to graduate in May,he's already done, but he's
going to graduate in May.
So those two things, what youasked for, I've done it.
So I'm like, oh, okay, god,sorry, I didn't mean to complain
for my prayers that I prayed along time ago.
Kim McIntire (37:05):
He has to remind us sometimes.
Yes, he does.
Jeremiah Skiles (37:08):
Yeah, and so yeah, I love that.
Cassie Skiles (37:11):
That was kind of a roundabout way of answering.
We've had several, I guess youcould say things that have been
memorials for us in our marriage.
But really I would say from thevery beginning we've both been
on the same page spiritually.
But he's grown us together.
I love it yeah.
Kim McIntire (37:29):
And it shows.
Cassie Skiles (37:30):
Yeah.
Kim McIntire (37:31):
It's so obvious.
It's so obvious, Cassie, you'vebeen very open about your
health struggles and I justwonder if you would like to just
talk about what that journey islike when you're, you know,
walking it with a husband.
You know walking through itwith a husband, yeah, and even
(37:53):
Jeremiah's perspective on that.
Like how has that beenchallenging in your relationship
?
Cassie Skiles (37:59):
Well, if I could give a little bit of detail to
kind of give some reference tothat.
Please do, yes, little bit ofdetail to kind of give some
reference to that.
The health struggles that Ihave gone through have been
mainly connected to has beenfemale issues, gynecological
issues.
So from a young age I hadsymptoms of it was digestive,
(38:23):
but I would also have, you know,painful monthly periods and
things of that nature.
So it was I never.
I just thought this is normal.
And then, you know, after wewere married for a few years, I
decided I probably ought to, youknow, get this checked out.
And so I mentioned it to mygynecologist and she said, well,
let's do an ultrasound and see,you know, if there's anything
(38:45):
that comes back.
And they did an ultrasound anddiscovered what looked like a
mass on my left ovary and theysent me immediately to an
oncologist to see, you know,what would need to be done.
And you know, he said really,the only option we have is
surgery, because we can't reallytell exactly what it is until
we get in there.
So I went in for surgery andthey removed my left ovary and
(39:13):
discovered that I hadendometriosis.
So that was in 2018.
And since then I've been kindof on this journey of figuring
out you know how.
You know how to manage that andI had a few years after that
where I got, you know, a littlebit of relief after that, but
things got a little worse withthe symptoms and the things that
were happening with all of thatand ended up in 2020 having a
(39:37):
full hysterectomy.
So with that came a lot of thechallenge that would come with
marriage, came a lot of thechallenge that would come with
marriage.
And I think from the beginninghe had before I knew that.
You know, this was thediagnosis that I had.
I was open to talk to him aboutyou know, the things that I
struggled with, the digestiveissues that were accompanying
(40:01):
that, because it was definitelyabnormal.
It wasn't something that, youknow, just a person walking down
the street has this problem.
It's definitely the pain andthe discomfort and the things
that come with it.
You know, and I was nervousabout that before I met Jeremiah
because I was like this isgoing to be something that
whoever I end up with is goingto have to really understand
that my digestive system is notnormal, so you know.
(40:22):
So I'm so glad that I marriedthe right guy who understands
that and didn't judge me for itand didn't think I was, you know
, some weirdo because I hadproblems in that department.
So, but yeah, after discovering,this is what it is obviously
now that impacts.
You know our sexualrelationship and you know all of
(40:44):
those things relationship andyou know all of those things.
So it has been a journey of usreally learning together how to
come back from that, and youknow a lot of women I think
could probably go well.
I had hysterectomy.
Now I'm technically inmenopause, so that part of my
life is over, but I don'tbelieve that, and so I pray
(41:07):
about it and I'm like Lord, giveus wisdom, give me wisdom, give
me resources, help me to beable to discover what it is that
you know I need to discover, tohelp you know my body be the
best that it can and help us to.
You know, work together withthat.
And you know it's taken somejourneys of really having
patience Him having patience,for sure, and even me having
(41:29):
patience with my own body,because I've definitely been mad
at my own body before, sure,but yeah, I know that the Lord
is definitely in that andhelping us in that respect.
Kim McIntire (41:42):
Well, it was God's design for us to enjoy intimacy
as couples.
Yeah, and it shouldn't be goneone day sooner than it needs to.
Be right, absolutely.
Cassie Skiles (41:52):
So that's a gift, absolutely.
It's a gift, yeah, and the most,I guess, recent health struggle
I had last year was, I believeit's connected to the
endometriosis still being activeeven after hysterectomy.
So again, I've prayed about thatand the Lord has given me some
resources that have, really, youknow, some different things
(42:14):
that I've tried that have helpedmy symptoms and, you know,
improve those things.
And in that season, you know,obviously, any of us when we
pray, we pray, you know, lord,if you could just heal me from
this, if you could just, youknow, instantly heal me, and
absolutely I would love that.
But that's not exactly the waythat the Lord has answered that
prayer for me.
It's been a, you know, it'sbeen Lord, give me wisdom.
(42:38):
And he's answered that prayerand he's shown me, okay, here's
the resource that I need to takeyou to, said I need to take you
to, and what it's shown me isthat if he had just instantly,
you know, healed my body, thereare things that I would maybe
still be coming back around tohaving issues with, because it's
a daily thing that I need toinclude, that I need to
incorporate into my life, so himshowing me that this is a daily
(42:59):
thing, that this is going tohelp your body daily, rather
than you know it's a wisdomabout those things and it's I
don't know it's reallychallenged my faith and also
challenged, you know, my abilityto trust that he's leading me
in a way that you know is goingto help me in that respect, but
he is.
He's helping me for sure.
Kim McIntire (43:19):
Absolutely.
That's so good.
What's your perspective on this, Jeremiah?
Jeremiah Skiles (43:23):
I just I had to have a lot of patience, yeah,
and you know I don't have a lotof health issues, and so I've
had to like slow down at timesand realize, and I'll just say,
cassie's a trooper.
Kim McIntire (43:39):
She is, she really is, she is.
Jeremiah Skiles (43:43):
And you know it could.
I could let the enemy reallyfrustrate me about things at
times and just be like justwon't you just eat normal food
and let's go.
But I don't, I, and that'ssometimes what I want to say.
So, but I'm glad that I, youknow, I pray and I ask God, you
(44:03):
know, ok, is this a time where Ineed to encourage her, or is
this a time when I need to prayfor her?
So, and you just have to, youknow, take a step back and put
yourself in that situation andtry to understand it from every
direction, and that's what I'vealways tried to do, because, I
mean, it was, it was early on,and it's not like we've always
(44:24):
had these huge crisis in ourmarriage, but there are definite
times where we've had strugglesin that area and we always talk
about it.
Communication, that's right.
It's not always easy, but youhave to do it.
The hard things and the goodthings.
The hard things and the good.
The good things are easy tocommunicate about, the hard
things are not, and so you haveto just kind of take a deep
(44:50):
breath and say, all right, herewe go with it, no matter how
this is going to affect thesituation.
I got to get this out withCassie and I both, so yeah, it's
been one.
I mean, she's great, she's sucha trooper.
Kim McIntire (45:01):
I believe it, I'm a witness.
I'm a witness.
Jeremiah Skiles (45:04):
She'll get up and do things when she's not
feeling well and, yeah, that'sreally something I had to pray
about.
God, do I need to encourage her, because sometimes she just
needs to get pulled out of thatfunk that she's in, and then
other times I need to take careof her, and that's where you
really have to be in tune withwhat God's wanting you to do and
not just be insensitive.
Kim McIntire (45:25):
Absolutely, Because I can be insensitive.
That's good advice for all ofus really Like Holy.
Spirit.
What does this person need?
Marriage the best marriages areselfless.
People are selfless Absolutely.
And I just hear this thread ofcommunication patience,
determination, selflessness, theLord at the center of it all.
(45:48):
And so what encouragement Imean, if you guys have
encouragement that you wouldjust like to speak into the
listeners because we're actuallyincreasing in our male
percentages for our audience,our listening audience.
So I'm super excited.
We're at, I think, almost 20, Ithink it was 25% the last time
(46:09):
I looked.
So there are some men listening, jeremiah, so do you?
Jeremiah Skiles (46:18):
have any words of encouragement to husbands
today.
Well, I've been married anddivorced and there were some
situations that still came up inmy second marriage and I was
like, oh, I guess that was myfault, but what I, what I would
say, is just really look, lookat yourself and and communicate
with your wife.
That is because it's not alwayseasy.
(46:39):
Sometimes you know if you'relooking at things you shouldn't
look at Right, you're looking atthings you shouldn't look at,
then it's a lot easier to tellyour wife at the beginning, as
opposed to letting it get amonth and a year in advance and
say, okay, now I really got tounload some stuff and it's going
to be difficult, right, if you,if you have a situation to
where you're, you're, you know,flipping through the channels
(47:01):
and you stay on a channel fortoo long.
Kim McIntire (47:03):
Yeah, and we've all been there.
Cassie Skiles (47:05):
Yeah.
Jeremiah Skiles (47:11):
I mean, I'm surrounded by two ladies, so
probably not here, but all of usmen have been there.
We're like, oh, and then youdon't change it right away, Then
you know you need to tell yourwife about that, Say, hey, this
is what happened and that'sthat's what.
That's what I've always donewith Cassie, and I told her that
from the beginning I was like,look, there's some things that I
just have to be honest and realwith you about.
And it's so much easier becausewhenever the enemy, if he has
(47:33):
nothing to hold against you, ifhe has no, if you have no
secrets with your wife, if youhave, if you are in great
communication with your wife,see, what happens is, if you do
something like that and youdon't tell your spouse, Now you
may not If you do something likethat, he'll put a little hook
(47:53):
in your heel.
Yeah, and you think, oh, that'snot that big a deal.
I turned it, it wasn't that bad, it wasn't full nudity, if I'm
just being honest, sure, sure.
So If you, if you and thensomething else happens, the
devil, the enemy, puts anotherlittle hook in your heel Right,
(48:14):
and by the time you're done, yougot, he's got enough to pull
you backwards.
It's true.
And if you undo those hooksright away, and you just you,
just be honest and say, look,this is what happened.
That is so much easier thanletting them build up and
letting them just get out ofcontrol to where you have to
take a whole weekend to, youknow, to confess and to cry and
to ask for forgiveness.
(48:36):
It's so much easier if you justjust right off the bat, say,
look, this is what happened, Iam so sorry.
And we, we, we read about thatthis morning, didn't we?
How does your spouse like to beapologized to in our, in our?
reading so you have to find thatout and so try to understand
your spouse and what works thebest with her.
(48:57):
And because not everybody isnot everybody, not every, not
every wife will respond the sameway, so you kind of have to
test the waters, and I did, andso that would be my advice Just
be honest and get it out there.
Kim McIntire (49:12):
That's a good word and I love.
I remember the last time wewere with you guys as couples,
you guys were showing us that, abook that you're doing
devotionally together, and Ithink that's good advice too for
couples Be in the word together, find a devotional you both can
enjoy and talk about, becausethat brings you closer as well.
(49:32):
Cassie, do you have and youreferenced that, that's why I
brought that in.
But, cassie, do you haveencouragement?
You want to speak into wivestoday?
Cassie Skiles (49:40):
Yeah, I would kind of in the same thread of
what Jeremiah was speaking tofrom a wife's perspective.
I know a lot of women can jumpto a conclusion of being very
closed off or very offended orhurt when your spouse comes to
you with those things, and itcan be either party, it can be,
(50:08):
you know, the wife havingsomething that goes on that she
that I know my husband has hadin the past.
I understand that when he'scoming to me he's coming to me
from a heart that's wanting toget things and get him in the
open and make it right, and so Idon't immediately jump to a you
know a defense mechanism withthat.
(50:29):
I want to come alongside himwith that and I want to help him
, to make him feel like and helphim to know that this is a safe
place for you to share that.
And you know, if you, I wantyou to come to me and to tell me
the struggle that you had withthat, because you're a human
being and this is the thing thatyou struggle with and I'm a
(50:51):
human being.
I struggle with things that aredifferent than that.
Mine aren't maybe as open andobvious as his are, and that's I
think every relationship hasthat dynamic of.
There's certain things that weall struggle with and you know,
for me mine might be.
I'm closed in my.
I have fearful thoughts in mymind a lot and I sometimes just
keep them to myself lot, and Isometimes just keep them to
(51:14):
myself.
And I've learned that when Ishare those thoughts with him
and I say, hey, I'm saying thisout loud, because if I say it
out loud it kind of helps it tonot be as powerful.
But this is what I'm dwellingon right now and the enemy can
get me into a place of, you know, being introverted, and into
myself.
It's isolating, exactly.
And it's the same thing when hesaid there's a hook that gets
in your heel.
For him it's a hook of you know, oh, you can change that
(51:34):
channel and find something andnobody's going to know about it.
For me it's a oh, think aboutthe situation that you're
worried about and worst casescenario, and have that playing
out in your head by yourself anddon't tell anybody about it.
You just keep it to yourselfand worry about it and worry
about it.
And I can do that.
And I've learned that it'sbetter when off of me and even
though I was confessing shewould say you know what I'm
(52:16):
struggling too, and let's justpray right now.
Jeremiah Skiles (52:18):
And there goes that communication again.
You get it out there and youunderstand and you can, you know
, stand, stand back to back andfight against it.
Kim McIntire (52:26):
And it's the enemy , absolutely and exactly each
other, yep, and that's exactlywhere I was going.
Cassie Skiles (52:31):
Next is a lot of the times when he's having a bad
struggle and when I'm havingthose bad fearful thoughts or
worried thoughts, we know thatwe're in the middle of something
that the Lord is either aboutto bring us into or out of, and
the enemy's just trying as muchas he can to try to like last
ditch effort.
And the thing about it is, whenyou go through those things
(52:53):
enough times, when you gothrough those battles enough
times together, you start torecognize that the enemy doesn't
have new tricks.
He has smoke screens andmirrors and that's all he has.
And if you look back on, youknow those struggles that you
have a lot of the times it's theexact same thing that he tries
to do with you every time.
And so when you recognize thosepatterns, a lot of times we'll
(53:16):
come to each other and be like,oh man, there must be really
something going on in the spiritrealm that we can't see right
now.
But we're going to lean into theLord in this and you know he's
our third, third braid of thecord.
Jeremiah Skiles (53:29):
And you know how many times we've anointed
our house and just gone throughand prayed.
It's been a bunch of them.
We're like you know what?
There's something going on andwe're just going to go through
and anoint every window andevery doorframe and we're just
going to pray because we knowthat this is not right and
there's something going on inthe spirit realm that we don't
understand.
But we know it's not right andwe know who our, who, our father
(53:53):
is and he's not going to put upwith it.
Cassie Skiles (53:55):
So yeah, and a while back the Lord gave me.
I'm terrible about thescripture references.
I believe it's in Matthew, butit talks about Jesus being our
shepherd and our gate, and so hegave me that as a there you go.
Kim McIntire (54:09):
Okay, you knew it.
Today I was going to say 10.
There you go, john 10.
Okay, I just read it.
Cassie Skiles (54:12):
Today I was going to say John, awesome, okay,
today yep, so the shepherd andthe gate.
Kim McIntire (54:17):
Yes, yes.
Cassie Skiles (54:18):
Yes, and so this was a directive of how I pray
now, and especially when wesense that there's something
that's not quite just.
Things don't feel right.
You're my shepherd, you're ourshepherd, you're our gate.
You stand guard over our home,you stand guard over our
marriage and anything that hascome in through any method that
(54:40):
is not from you has to leave.
And in that moment you don'thave to say, well, I confess
that I did this and that and theother, the Lord knows.
And you say you know, if it wasme, if my changing that channel
over allowed something into myhome and now it's stirring
things up between us, then I'mtaking ownership of it.
But at the same time, you're myshepherd, you're my gate and it
(55:01):
didn't come through there.
And there are things that comeand we are, I believe, there are
things spiritually that come asattacks on us that we haven't
like.
You know, it's not because we'reweak and we've had a moment of,
oh, it's because of what I did,or and I've had to really learn
that too that because I'vealways been oh, you know, I grew
up in that yeah, I grew up inthat.
You know, church, of where, ifsomething's going wrong in your
(55:24):
life, man, you must, you need torepent.
You know because you're doingsomething wrong, and I've come
to the realization that notalways is that the situation.
Sometimes it's the enemiestrying to stop the plan of the
Lord on your life Right.
And so when you really takeownership of that authority that
he's given us and his blood,that covers us, and you know so
(55:44):
good and that's why we get thatanointing oil out it's like Lord
this is a representation ofwhat we know that we are covered
in your blood and your bloodcovers our home, our family and
you're our shepherd, you're ourgate and anything that hasn't
come through that has to go.
Jeremiah Skiles (55:59):
We even anointed a condo one time in
Florida because we walked in,and there was the first hour,
the first two hours, there wassomething going on.
I'm not saying there was likesomething attack, but there was
obviously something going on.
And the only thing we, what didwe anoint?
Cassie Skiles (56:13):
Oh, I didn't have anointing oil with me, but I
was like I got to find something.
So I had some hair oil, likesome you know where you'd make
your hair shiny and I was like,yeah, let's use this.
But it smelled really good too.
Jeremiah Skiles (56:23):
It smelled really good, and we anointed all
the doors and all the windowsand immediately it was gone.
Kim McIntire (56:30):
It's interesting that you guys are talking about
this, because I was praying witha young lady earlier this week
at my house and she was talkingabout some torment that was
happening at night and I gaveher some anointing oil and I
said pray over your bedroom,anoint your pillows, anoint your
bed.
You know your bedroom.
I didn't say the whole house Ishould have, but specifically
(56:52):
it's nighttime torment bed.
You know your bedroom.
I didn't say the whole house Ishould have, but specifically
there was it's nighttime tormentand people don't always
recognize, maybe they haven'tbeen taught, maybe they've never
heard it before.
But there is authority in thename of Jesus, the prayers of
his people and the oil thatrepresents his Holy Spirit and
it places a guard around us inthe spirit realm.
We may not see the enemyactivity with our eyes, but it's
(57:15):
happening.
But we can be aware and say, no, satan, not today not tomorrow
and not the day after that.
So you guys have spoken so muchwisdom and truth over our
listeners.
I'm so grateful that you saidyes to this interview.
I know it's going to bless,encourage and strengthen so many
.
So thank you for being here.
(57:37):
Thank you, listeners, for beingpart of today's episode.
Thank you for having us.
You are welcome and I just havea feeling you might be back
sometime.
I think so.
Yeah, I think there's more.
There's probably more to share.
So if you guys would be willing, I would love for you to close
us out in prayer, just to prayover our listeners today.
(57:57):
Absolutely.
Thank you, cassie.
Cassie Skiles (57:59):
Yes, heavenly Father, we thank you so much.
Thank you for every blessingthat you've given Jeremiah and I
and our ability to come andshare our journey with the
listeners.
Lord, yes, lord, you know everyperson who's listening, lord.
You know every couplerepresented and every family
that's listening here, lordJesus, and you know what they're
(58:19):
going through.
And so we pray right now, lord,for everyone who has tuned in
and maybe heard something ormaybe is going through something
, and some of what we shared mayhave touched on that, or maybe
they're just in a place ofdesperation or just reaching out
to you right now.
And so, lord, I pray that, evenas they're listening, lord,
(58:40):
that your Holy Spirit would comethrough the airwaves and that
you would reach them right wherethey're at.
And, lord, in the same way thatyou've spoken wisdom to Jeremiah
and I through our journeys andthrough the things that we've
been through, I pray that youwould speak wisdom to each and
every one of these couples orfamilies that are reaching out
to you, lord, and if they've,you know, maybe had a similar
(59:02):
situation to one of us, or tohealth issues, like I've had, or
the struggles that Jeremiah'shad, or any of those things
along the way, lord, we praythat you would bring them to a
place of finding the resourcesthat they need and to be able to
open up and communicate witheach other.
And ultimately, that's theprayer that we pray over.
Every couple is, lord, that thecommunication would happen in
(59:23):
the way that you would design itto be for them.
Lord, not everybody's going tobe like Jeremiah and I.
Some are going to be different.
But, lord, I pray that youwould show them what the
communication that they shouldhave, what it looks like for
them, lord, and that you wouldlead them in your will for their
life.
But, lord, we lift them up andwe pray for your anointing and
your blessing and your strengthover these marriages and over
(59:46):
these couples, lord, and wethank you for it, jesus.
Jeremiah Skiles (59:50):
And I come into agreement with these prayers
that my wife has prayed, and Ipray right now that you would
give the men boldness to speakto their wives and to speak out
your word, Lord Jesus.
I pray that you would just openthose lines of communication,
just like she just prayed.
Open those lines ofcommunication even when the
(01:00:12):
communication is difficult andeven when it's easy.
I just pray that you would justhelp them, lord Jesus, to live
their lives in your will, lordJesus, and in your way, father
God.
I just pray that you wouldbring out the good times, lord
Jesus, and I just give you allthe praise, lord Jesus, and
glory in your name.
Amen.
Kim McIntire (01:00:32):
Amen.
Thank you both so much.
Just a quick reminder that theRise Up conference in Branson
August 1st and 2nd will be heldat the Keeter Center.
All the information about theconference is found on our
website it's timetoriseuporg.
I'm excited to share that wehave a discount promo code just
(01:00:53):
for podcast listeners, so usepodcast 15.
Those are all lowercase letterswhen you sign up to get a
discounted rate on yourconference registration.
I'm looking forward to meetingour listeners at conference this
year.
Once again, you can find us onFacebook or Instagram at the
underscore official underscorerise underscore up.
(01:01:15):
May God's grace and peace bewith you all In Jesus' name.
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