January 20, 2025 • 47 mins
Donald Trump is the President of the United States.
Sam Simmons (a father of two and a husband to someone who fears unjust deportation) sat opposite on my couch and told me what it felt like to wake up November 6th, 2024.
He tells me what it felt like to wake up lost.
How do you feel about this inauguration? Comment or email me below.
Music by Guilherme Silva (On Fiverr: https://www.fiverr.com/guimoraes)
Official Intro by Suzana J (Her website: https://www.suzanasvoice.com/)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
if you're just tasting these, charge my phone.
(00:01):
No, that's a good idea.
Everything in here is plugged in.
Including us, including our cat, which, photo.
Remember Michael put photo, cat being little,
I random white light.
Welcome to It's Your Loss podcast,
where raw stories of resilience and healing are told,
(00:22):
all while uncovering and destigmatizing
the diverse symptoms of loss.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you missed last month's episode, well, it's your loss.
This is the unofficial beginning of the new season.
The new season is actually still going to start in April,
but I'd be remiss if I didn't put up this episode.
(00:44):
We had a lot of feelings, a lot of things
that triggered feelings of loss
and how we dealt with them seemed to be wide and varied,
but I will tell you that there is one thing
that everybody did, and that's what they said.
They practiced self-care.
I am here with Sam Simmons.
Ah!
Well then.
Ha ha ha.
(01:05):
All right, everything's reset again.
Whether or not I actually use that, we'll see.
This might all wind up on the cutting room floor,
but we don't know.
Sorry guys, didn't mean to do that.
I just wanted to give you the accurate,
emotional response to the election results.
Yeah, yeah, so some people definitely woke up
and started screaming.
Some people woke up, looked at their phones,
(01:25):
rolled over and went back to sleep.
Hot-blooded panic for me, honestly,
and I also looked up the prices for housing
in both Canada and in Mexico.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
What's more preferable right now for you?
Me personally?
Yeah.
Mexico.
Yeah?
Because my mother lives in Canada, the frigid north.
Oh really?
So as far away as physically possible,
(01:45):
does it make it more difficult for her?
I didn't realize that the relationship
between you and your mom was a thing
where you needed to get two countries away.
It's actually not.
I just like to be a butthead.
Fair enough.
I would try to get away from my mother
if she's in the shelf upstairs.
So we both have our ways of going.
Oh, OK.
That's nice.
Right?
Levity is one of the ways that a lot of people
(02:08):
deal with stress and freaking out.
As is the case, if you knowing that this is a podcast about grief,
you can just come and scream it.
I love that.
I mean, it's always got to.
So I'll start this off just from a personal note
of what happened to me.
And I feel like what my symptoms that I actually had,
(02:29):
because I woke up that morning feeling ill.
I had not even looked at the phone or anything.
Like I went to bed before the results.
I took a look at what the results were at that point.
And Mike Tyson.
Those of you who saw the fight understand that joke.
The fighting is gloved the entire time.
(02:51):
Hopefully none of you all put down money.
Oh, God.
I hope not.
I hope not.
I felt bad enough just walking away from that thing,
just watching it.
Like it was such a sad turnout.
But you actually got to watch it?
The Netflix was shut down.
Oh, my Netflix was doing perfect.
Really?
Yeah, the entire time.
Oh, my God.
OK, so we were over at the Comic Book shop
that you've been to also.
If you all have any idea what I'm talking about,
you absolutely don't.
So it just kept going in and out.
(03:15):
And there was no actual screen for a while.
That's rough.
Yeah, we had to watch on our phone
while we were sitting there.
I think I had two buffering moments,
and those were during other people's fights.
Yeah, and so I didn't.
I loved those fights.
Yeah, those were great fights.
Yeah, those were passionate real fights
that I felt like actually had stakes.
Yeah.
However.
Yeah.
So anyway, I woke up the morning after the election
(03:37):
and just feeling like crap.
Head was hurting, stomach was roiling, joints were hurting.
I felt like I had the man flu, to be honest with you.
Then I checked the results.
And everything that I had added the effect
of feeling the stomach drop.
Because it's not the fact that I'm afraid of Trump
(03:58):
and what he's going to bring into office.
I feel like I kind of know.
There's a lot of things that people say
when they want to get elected that don't necessarily
come to fruition because either A, it takes time, or support,
or they just want to get the people stirred up
and enough frenzy that yes, they will get the vote.
It happens on both sides.
I'm not just saying that the left or the right, it happens.
(04:20):
Yes, but when it comes to both sides, unfortunately,
Trump has a way of actually doing what he says
that he's going to do.
And everything that he says that he's going to do
is fucking horrible.
That's true.
Every time.
Yeah, OK.
So maybe my stomach dropping was kind of realizing that too,
that he has such a single-minded pigheadedness
about everything that he does.
(04:41):
Does nobody remember the first four years?
No, I don't think they do.
Content for days, unfortunately.
Every single day on Twitter was a horror show.
I mean, it's good for the comedians, right?
You know, for it's heyday for the comedians.
Yeah.
They have pretty much a secure job for the next four years.
Yeah.
(05:03):
But yeah, right?
Yeah.
Don't want to steal your thunder, but yeah.
It was about 6 o'clock in the morning when I did wake up,
because I'm trying to wake up naturally here recently.
So that's forcing myself to get up around 6.
That way, if I do happen to get up late,
it's still late enough for me to get to work on time.
And also gives me enough time to eat right instead of going out
(05:26):
to eat a lot, because me personally, whenever I wake up,
it's always in a cold sweat.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Very terrified of the night before.
You, like, every night?
Yeah.
Wow.
You know, therapy.
Therapy, my guy.
No, no.
I just got a raw dog life.
(05:47):
I probably should.
Oh, man.
So this is my therapy.
Yeah.
Good.
You talk to people, you know?
No, just this.
Oh, just this?
Just this part.
OK.
Just the two episodes that I've been on.
This is the only about a therapy that I can afford.
Thank you, American Health Care System.
Yeah.
It's only going to get better.
Did my mic turn off?
Oh, there it goes.
(06:07):
It's on again.
It's on again.
Go back, guys.
You wake up in the morning?
Yeah, so I wake up in the morning at 6 o'clock.
Not feeling like P. Diddy?
No.
And nor being felt by P. Diddy.
So if you win some, you lose some.
I'm sorry.
The whole my body feels horrible.
And I'm thinking, all right, well, I already feel sick.
(06:29):
And we have a pretty much standing order at the office
that if you feel sick, don't go to work.
Because it's only 20-something people
if a virus breaks out in that office.
That's the entire office?
Yeah, we're all a bit low.
So I was like, all right.
In the back of my head, I'm like, all right,
so that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to follow protocol.
I'm going to call in.
And obviously, no one picks up the phone
(06:49):
at 6 o'clock in the morning.
So we have pretty chill people.
I wind up texting in.
And of course, no one responds to me for the entire day.
But then I go in to work the next day.
I'm feeling better.
I had my day, which I'll get into that further here
in a minute.
But I had my day.
I went in and then nobody said anything.
(07:10):
I wasn't in trouble.
And everybody was like, hey, do you feel better?
So they got the text.
They just didn't answer it, which is infuriating
as somebody who likes to respond, like, talk via text.
Right?
Yeah, I just feel like the other person isn't there.
So physical ailments and then a day of self-care,
which I'll talk about that.
(07:31):
That's what my day after the election day.
That's what that was my November 6th.
I was able to do that.
I think Marley was able to go to work.
It's just me here by myself.
That was my day.
You have a whole family to contend with.
Well, contend, live, however you want to put that.
But you have a whole family to live with.
(07:51):
What was your reaction?
What was your family's reaction?
I doubt your kids really had much to think about.
Thank you, Mike.
I'm glad that you asked.
I beat my children that day.
I'm so asleep.
Whole sale abuse.
I mean, somebody's got to, as a parent,
you have to do those sort of things.
You need to beat your children.
But no, both Claudia and I had nothing but jokes to say.
(08:13):
The entire day, which, you know, it's at least one thing
to feel better about.
But also, it just feels real.
I don't like it.
But yeah, woke up, took a shower like usual, angry.
Got dressed, angry.
Looked at my wife, not angry.
That's good.
But she looked at me angry.
(08:35):
So she matched my energy.
Faced turned angry.
We've just been complaining about it,
not stopped that entire day.
Made some food.
The kids asked what was wrong.
And we both said, nothing.
And then I think I wanted to make some happy content,
just to get me out of the funk.
And that didn't work.
I never posted it.
(08:55):
Did you post anything at all about it?
I think it's best if I did.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Straight up.
My initial reaction was generally screaming.
At the top of my lungs, to nobody in particular,
and incoherently.
Same thing with Claudia.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You matched that energy.
Really nice.
I'm with somebody who doesn't necessarily
(09:17):
match my energy when it comes to the more high energy stuff.
Because I tend to lean a little bit more
towards the manic side in general, especially
if my ADHD is in full swing that day.
Or if I'm hyper-focused on something, which again,
is still under ADHD, but still.
So she's more methodical.
(09:37):
And if anything is really emotionally charged,
that's going to get her, it's going
to be the negative stuff that is more
of a personal slight towards her.
Like somebody has done her wrong or something like that.
So she didn't really feel like anything was done wrong
towards her during this.
And so what I watched, she was a little bit more quiet.
I have to say that was about the only symptom that I saw
(10:01):
that anything was really kind of affecting her.
She didn't want either side, either major side.
She didn't want Kamala.
She didn't want Trump.
And that's why she decided to vote for somebody else.
I don't remember what his name is,
but somebody who is independent.
I don't think it would be Green either way.
(10:21):
She just didn't feel like her consciousness was
going to allow for either side.
But I'm seeing as I took a look at some of the numbers.
I'm not going to pull them up here because that's just
depressing, but the amount of people who didn't vote
instead of voting for something else, which was just wild
for me because as much as a fever pitch as we've tried
(10:41):
to introduce to the younger voters, the new voters,
it's like, hey, it's your thing to vote.
I don't really know what the ages were or anything like that.
In fact, that might be something that I could look up,
but I'm not that prepared.
But I'm just wondering how many younger voters went,
(11:02):
this isn't worth it at all.
And just didn't vote.
Yeah, and didn't vote because what you see on the news,
what they want to put in front of the screen
are older, angry people voting for either side.
Yeah, well, of course.
And they didn't really highlight any of the younger
generation, which makes me wonder, did they get left out?
(11:22):
She voted independently.
We don't really talk heavy into politics.
In fact, we're good with that for any members of our family.
One of the things that I have found out over the last 12
years is that the people who you think politically,
they could be on a completely different branch.
(11:43):
100%.
Right.
Humor, maybe.
Memes, sure, you could share the same memes all day long,
but the moment you start talking about health care
or women's rights or taxes or trans rights or anything.
Yeah, immigration.
People just learning what the hell the tariff is.
I'm sorry, I'm one of those people.
I understood the word tariff that it applies to someone
(12:07):
who's getting charged.
But it wasn't until a very kind teacher from Canada who
puts out really good content on TikTok
spelled it out on chalkboard for me at the ripe old age of 41
where I went, OK, I kind of knew what was going on,
but now I understand even more.
Yes.
Generally, it becomes a tax on the entire population.
(12:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it sounds like, oh, well, we're
just going to stop the inflow of stuff
from outside of America.
But unfortunately, America does not
produce that much of anything.
Right.
Yeah.
However, industrial age is long but forgotten.
And then understanding that actually kind of put
a little bit more emphasis on who I wanted to vote for.
(12:52):
And you can probably infer from how I'm talking for who I voted
for, but they didn't impose higher tariffs.
And I was like, again, Trump does what Trump says.
And he gets a lot of people behind him to make sure
that things happen.
Also, it's very important to remember
that Kamala Harris started halfway through this year
(13:16):
while Trump's been supporting, and we're not supporting,
but trying to get that reelection since day one of 2020.
Absolutely.
So.
And he was also been doing things before then,
which there were people who were saying,
hey, Kamala Harris's presence and her plans
seem a little loose, a little half-baked.
(13:39):
They appeal more for the emotions,
getting people behind her and everything.
We won't go back.
Whereas Trump is hitting on the same thing, saying, hey,
we're going to go back to this.
We need to impose this again.
And that's because he's been thinking about this for, well,
I don't know how much to think.
Yeah, for a while.
But also, I feel like the entire Democrat Party,
(14:02):
I put all of their eggs in the Biden basket
that unfortunately, when they did switch over,
now they have to have brand new policies that they
want to write up for Kamala.
But that was like an escape plan because Biden is falling apart.
It's hard not to notice the bag of skeletons
(14:24):
that's just walking around.
OK?
He's fallen to pieces on stage.
But you know what the best thing about him
and his stage presence and what he's having right now
is the Michael Bay meme, where it just says something like,
hey, are you really going to go fishing for the next three
(14:44):
days or something like that?
And Biden just looks back at the camera, starts to smile,
and it cuts away.
Oh my god.
It says Michael Bay.
Why did I do that?
Best thing to happen out of all of that debacle.
My day after I got up and started moving around and whatnot,
I realized that A, I was probably hungry and dehydrated.
(15:07):
And once I took care of those things bodily, I felt better.
But the mental.
Are you actually wanting to feel better?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I woke up wanting to feel angry and I didn't want to stop.
I was really nice with my kids, though.
I didn't throw them away.
They're still here, unfortunately.
That's good.
But yes, I didn't want to feel good.
(15:28):
It's like I wanted to live in this moment of just hatred
and anger.
And I think I'm still there.
Mentally, I was definitely doing that.
Unstable, probably.
I was feeling low.
I was lost a lot of hair, since the last time I was told.
It was rough.
It just came off like I was a molting, like I was a Yago.
(15:48):
You know, ripping out his own feathers.
You know what's straight up last time that I saw him?
I think he weighed a lot more.
So yeah, maybe it's that.
Who knows?
Maybe it's just stressing me a little.
I'm going to write my congressman and say,
look what Trump has done to me and just take before and after
photos.
See what I can get out of that.
Wow.
Fucking talent.
No, mentally, I knew where I was at.
(16:09):
I was snapping at myself on things on the screen.
I snapped them hardly once.
My wife once.
And it was a low key snap.
And she's like, what?
I'm lighting up, and man, I'm sorry.
I'm just, I'm not in it.
And then we had breakfast.
It was great.
She went to work.
We're OK.
Yeah, mentally, I knew that this wasn't something
(16:30):
that I was just going to be able to push through.
The physical stuff, sure.
That's why I felt like shit, because I needed to hydrate
and needed to eat.
So that, you know, I at least took care of myself physically.
I didn't go online because I felt like that was going to,
I wouldn't be able to live in my space
and help to process the emotions.
It was just going to heap onto the fire.
So where you said you didn't post anything
(16:51):
because you were worried, I only posted reruns.
OK, that makes sense.
Also, I really did not want to have a conversation with anybody,
especially my fathers and uncles.
So I was like, well, I'm just going to screen some phone calls
and not listen to anybody for a little bit,
because, you know, I don't want to build up to anything.
(17:13):
So that's another thing as well.
I have family members.
Yeah, how do you feel about family members
that voted on the opposite?
I've made a couple of videos about this
and just kind of helped me process my thoughts about it.
There are people out there who voted red, who voted blue,
and not because of an emotional rhetoric,
not because of the fact that they dislike a certain person
(17:37):
a way of life or anything like that.
They voted solely because of the money.
As much as that irritates me,
I know that some of these people didn't do it out of bigotry and racism.
Right. But also the money aspect,
if we're being real here, the economy is in the shithole.
Because of a pandemic that happened in 2020,
(17:58):
a response that was created by Trump
who could have closed borders earlier than that,
but instead decided to say that,
oh, well, China is the enemy,
and instead we're just going to stop the influx of goods
that are coming from there, but not exactly, you know,
halting interstate commerce.
Yeah, it was messy.
Some of my family members, some of my friends,
(18:19):
you know, they see something in Trump's response
that may somehow turn that around.
I'm not financially minded enough
to even know what they saw.
So I can't side with them on that.
But I do know that all in all, they're good people.
They just spend too much time watching TV.
Yeah.
(18:39):
Now, there are some people, however, who don't watch TV,
who still voted for them.
And some of the things that I have seen in their past
and the way that they have...
Let's say you know that whole metric where they say
you can judge a person, how they judge them,
how they treat their wait staff?
Yes.
Yeah.
So there are moments like that where...
moments where they have treated them
(19:01):
as a member of society.
You lack empathy completely.
Oh.
And it just shines a big red light.
I wonder who they voted for, right?
Oh my goodness, it's crazy.
It's almost like that's the sort of people
that vote for that side.
And so I didn't want to...
And now I kind of know, like I'd already started
(19:22):
to kind of draw away from them because as I've become
the person who I am right now, I am...
Good sir.
Yeah, thank you.
I appreciate that.
I'm trying to surround myself with even better people,
you know, because the way that I learned...
How did I get in this house?
I have no clue.
I took my key away from you.
You still wound up standing in the kitchen
when I came downstairs.
Actually sent me his address.
Can you believe that?
(19:42):
Mistakes were made.
The whole idea of surrounding yourself
with people who either know more than you or better than you
is something that I learned as a manager working in fast food
for the longest time.
And I think that's why I made pretty decent teams
and why people were like, oh, you're always our best manager.
I'm like, please stop saying that to the other managers
to their face.
That's not fair to them.
(20:03):
Michael was better.
Yeah.
Michael was better.
I'm telling you, that's happened.
Like when people leave and it's like, all y'all suck,
except for him.
He's the only one who knows what he's doing.
You're not my real dad.
I'm like, oh my god, please.
I have to work with these people after you leave.
What the fuck are you doing?
But I've always thought that.
And there were crew who knew how to do things quicker
(20:27):
and better than me.
People who had started like four or five months.
They've only been there for four or five months.
They already know what they're doing.
I trust them in that position.
And instead of micromanaging them,
I'm like, you know what you're doing.
If you have any opinions, if you have anything like that,
please tell me.
And so that's how I'm living right now.
Empathy and you understand people.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
(20:48):
And how did you vote?
How did I vote?
Yeah.
I voted for Kamal.
Yes.
Yes.
Wow, there's a correlation here.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I read both of their websites.
I listened to what rhetoric that's not politically
or emotionally charged.
And I laid them out and I did a good old fashion pros
(21:10):
and cons list at my desk.
Because I felt that as anytime that I
have to do anything that is going
to require a long term commitment from buying
a phone to selecting a president or somebody who's
going to lead in general, I want to know what's good,
what's bad, what's going to outweigh whatever.
And again, it could have been the fact
(21:31):
that Kamala had only had so much time.
Well, even with less time, she should have been able to get it
because it should have been a slam dunk.
He's a felit.
Did we forget that?
I mean.
Yeah.
Did we forget the massive amount of sexual allegations,
(21:52):
specifically between him and the teen USA models?
Did you?
Teen USA?
Did they?
There are so many things that did make me go, hey,
were you not listening?
Were you not paying attention?
Did you only see what he was yelling and forget about all
the things that are being quiet right now?
And I mean, that's politics for you, though.
And so again, all of this just made me feel just horrible.
(22:18):
Like I said, snapping people, the mental state and everything.
Mine, my first thing into depression, was quick and immediate.
I don't really think there was room for any of the other five
stages.
If was there, there was really no bargaining.
Anger was definitely there.
I don't think I went through any of the other stages
(22:39):
where you decide to anger.
I don't think I ever felt any other ones.
And I don't think I ever left.
OK, so not even grief?
Because grief is one of the most dumb.
Oh, that is the reason for this podcast.
I'm going to say yes specifically because I'm
sorry.
Well, no, no, no.
It's what you really felt.
Like was there any moment of, because grief is the brain's
(23:00):
natural way of letting go or trying
to let go of things that either could have happened
or that was.
So was there any moment where you were like, shit,
this could have been like this.
And then your brain just kind of went off into anger.
Or it was just like straight into anger.
I understood as soon as the electron results popped up,
(23:21):
I was like, yep, sounds about right.
So acceptance and anger at all time?
Because I mean, 100%.
Yeah, because there was no like trying to figure out
like, oh, what could have happened?
What could have I done better?
If I could have said other things.
No, people are stupid.
That's the horrible thing about being
in this kind of electoral process is the fact
(23:43):
that you do what you think is best.
And whether it like, I'm sure there
are people out there who like saw some independent
and it was like, hey, you actually might be the best,
even though there wasn't a large campaign for them.
Maybe they saw something in that person.
And that person, you know, lost as well.
Or for some people's lives never even got a chance.
(24:04):
You do what you can.
You go, you vote, you do the research, hopefully.
Hopefully that's what you did.
And if you didn't, well, I guess at this point,
you could be part of that grief situation.
What could you have done better?
You could have done the research and you could have voted.
You could be, you probably are more in the five stages
(24:25):
of grief than the people who actually went out there
and voted.
And I don't wish negative feelings on anybody out there
who didn't get what they want.
But if you didn't try for something,
you've put yourself in your own hell.
And I don't think that's worth it.
And I'm so sorry that you're in that situation.
But if you didn't vote and somehow everything
(24:48):
is still going well for you, please get in the comments
and let me know what your life is like right now.
Tell me why you didn't vote and why you're still happy
with this.
There's gotta be somebody out there.
You know, this country is made out of like
thousands of circles and one giant Venn diagram.
There's gotta be somebody who has to overlap.
Especially in our community, right?
(25:08):
With grief and loss in general.
Who would listen to all of this?
Yeah, I'm part of another podcast that we had a very
emotionally charged conversation about a week and a half
after the actual election.
And the guy who we talked to, James J. Speck, heck guy.
We had a good conversation about what do we do next?
(25:31):
There's still people out there who have all the
emotion, this anger and I'm even seeing like whispers
of things out there.
Like people are like dissecting Harris's hosts
after, you know, she lost, including like some
of the more recent ones.
I'm like, you know, this is what we're gonna do
as a nation.
This is what we should do.
(25:51):
We should despair.
And they're seeing this as like a dog whistle almost
like a call for people to start getting in arms
because we're all going to like,
somehow stop this oncoming presidential event
that's gonna last for four years and do whatever it is
to be the country.
I don't think I've seen anybody really come up in arms
to the point where they want to riot the entire capital.
(26:13):
No, not to that point.
Like definitely not to that point, no.
What I'm seeing is more than the lines of like,
we're all gonna band together as a nation
and we're all going, it like almost cold war-esque
speak, I'll be honest with you.
Yeah, very much.
I don't think that's what Harris is saying.
If it does, I'm, you know, it's another historical event.
(26:34):
We get to live through that people,
that kids are gonna read in history books later on.
Right.
What do we do now just as normal people
who are just trying to live our lives?
Like, do we just keep our heads down?
Assume the worst.
Assume the worst plan for any amount of panic.
So, we'll say that.
We'll say that that's true.
(26:56):
So, we'll say that, we'll say that that's your preparation
process, just saying, you know.
What would you do to prep?
Go ahead and start packing everything.
And start looking at plans outside of the country mostly.
I'm not sure if you remember, but his stances
on any sort of foreign immigration is pretty horrible,
(27:17):
especially when it comes to everything going through Mexico.
Especially the people who I'm not sure if you remember
specifically, but my wife is from Mexico
and so is the rest of her family.
So, this directly affects us in general.
I'll click somebody who's thought about this,
like as far as the packing and the leaving.
(27:38):
Just in case, you know, because if ICE comes through
and they change like birthright citizenship,
but they also revoke it from the people
who happened to have already gotten it,
well then, half my family's gonna disappear.
So, what do you have the necessary paperwork
to allow you to cross the said border?
That was the situation.
(27:58):
See, that's the thing that we're thinking about.
And I know that most people would be like,
well deportation hasn't really affected you
as a person in general.
Actually it has, it's already affected
either my brother-in-law or even my mother,
who was a deported back in 2016, I think.
Yeah, during the first Trump presidency.
(28:20):
Yeah, she lived in Canada.
See, apparently, wasn't a US citizen after that.
Okay, so that's why she's up there.
That answers the question I didn't get a chance to ask
when you brought that up earlier.
So, we're thinking about getting like passport information
and stuff for us, but it's not for like fear
(28:40):
of deportation reasons, it's just, we know that.
I'm just kidding.
Maybe over the next four years, it'd be nice
to spend some time away from this over here
and just go to see what life is at places like.
Honestly, life in other places is kind of nice.
Flew to France not too long ago.
If you stay out of Paris, because Paris kind of sucks,
(29:02):
the rest of France, kind of fucking amazing.
The rest of Europe, kind of amazing.
The healthcare in Canada makes the entire thing worth it.
Honestly, Mexico, same thing.
Well, I hear that.
You only hear about the horrible things in Mexico,
but like straight up healthcare,
your ability to actually make businesses,
(29:25):
the economy in general, better.
The amount of time that I've spent out of the country
was all like Navy related.
And so, there are some places that I think
I would like to revisit as a civilian
and not necessarily with the entire idea
that I have to go into a ship later
to actually experience what life is like in other places.
But I also know that shit, we have a hard time
(29:48):
even like saving up for our house,
just the way that life is right now.
And so like the thought of not only just trying to get
a nicer place to live in a country that I am,
but the idea of going to another country
and trying to start a whole new life.
I like the idea, but it scares the hell out of me
(30:09):
because of the unknown, I guess.
Also.
Yeah.
And you know, humans don't, they don't like two things.
They don't like the unknown and they don't like change.
So, which is why death is such a fucking joke
to the human race in general,
because you get yeeted into the unknown
and it's such a inevitable state of change
(30:30):
that we're all gonna have to go through.
And so, I don't know, I'm not saying that moving
to another country reminds me of death,
but it definitely gives me the warm and crawly sensation
of anxiety.
What I hope for you and your family is that
it isn't going to be like that.
Like a jarring experience.
(30:51):
Yeah.
Yeah, we already have a place in.
It actually turns out well.
For us.
Yeah, Claudia already has her family living in Mexico,
like an entire portion, we have a house.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's, it would just be an easy transition,
but not for everybody, you know?
Everybody doesn't get the exact same thing.
No.
However, if you're like worried about like,
oh, well, are they gonna really understand me
(31:12):
in another location, Canada is just America to point out.
They have Burger Kings and McDonald's and Walmart.
So that's the indication of standard of living right there.
Fast food Walmart said, we're home, baby.
It's the ex save.
Except when you go over to the doctor,
(31:34):
you won't be in debt for the rest of your life.
So that's crazy.
There's that.
There are aspects of my health right now,
which are on hold because of.
It's the penis enlargement.
That's it.
That's it.
I tried, I tried taping two sticks to it
and just stretching it every day.
In terms of, I just got splinters.
I went over to the doctors and they ended up just like,
removing some of it somehow.
(31:54):
Wow.
I was like, hey, can you make this bigger?
They were like, nope.
It only goes back.
Yeah.
We live in Georgia.
Don't say that.
Don't know.
The country.
We live in the country of Georgia.
Georgia.
Oh, it's good.
No, thanks.
They'll never know.
They'll never fucking know.
(32:15):
You're gonna have to edit this
because I'm gonna post your.
That's like, I'll just say that.
That's like.
Well, no, anybody, I'll be honest with you.
If anybody, if you only know me from this podcast,
you just now learned this,
but however, if you know anything else that I do,
I tag Georgia and Conn, Georgia all the time.
So, but you don't know what street.
You don't know what street.
(32:36):
And if you would like the street, it is currently one-oh.
Stop it.
All right, no.
So what they're doing is they're pushing out
the marketplace, the regular Obama marketplace,
and they're supplementing it with their own.
They are literally rejecting reality
and supplementing it with their own.
And the process of them pushing it out made
(32:57):
having insurance through the marketplace
hardly expensive.
I have something where my work helps out.
I kick back money for any medical expense that we have.
I drained that expense dry
and still owe more on the insurance.
That's how much we were getting, you know,
taken for a ride.
It's been rough.
So we had to stop that.
(33:18):
Now I have nothing going to the hospital or doctor.
It's just 100% out of my pocket.
And so we don't have that.
So there's just some things that as soon as we get
whatever insurance we can get, I'm gonna take care of.
It's gonna be great.
I might pack on some more pounds.
Who knows what's gonna happen in my life?
But I also don't know.
(33:39):
It's kind of up in the air what's gonna happen
with healthcare in general now.
And so there's another sense of like anxiety and worry.
I'm doing a lot of, I guess this is what's happening here.
I'm doing a lot of pre-greed.
I mean, anxiety, if anybody saw the new inside out movie,
which was fun, it was really good.
(34:01):
It showed one of the best examples
of an on-screen panic attack and it was a Disney cartoon.
Yeah, it showed kids as like,
hey, you may be feeling this and this is why.
And anyway, I love the movie.
I'll watch it again.
Okay, I guess I actually have to watch this.
Because I know I watched the first one
and I know my kids have watched the second one.
It's on Disney Plus, if you haven't watched it before.
(34:22):
It is, very easy to watch.
Yeah.
You just have to sell your soul to Disney.
Yeah, you just pay in the mouse.
But yeah, I haven't watched it.
So you remind me, especially when you were talking about
the symptoms that you were going through,
there was no grief, there was only anger.
You just remind me a little angry fire.
That's why I try to channel every single day of my life.
(34:43):
A little bit of anger.
So the new emotion that they show in there.
I'm just like a mixture of joy and anger.
I could see that.
Yeah, definitely.
I feel like an Apollo or Amy, Apollo.
Amy, Apollo.
Amy, Apollo?
Apollo, Apollo?
Apollo.
I think it's Apollo.
Like Amy.
PoE, yeah.
Amy's amazing.
Amy, if you're out there,
I used to give a view the other day on Blue Sky.
Go to Blue Sky.
(35:04):
Amy, you are my celebrity crush.
Would you like to kiss me on the lips?
On those lips, right there.
Right.
So anxiety in that movie sums it up perfectly
what that emotion is.
They are not, fear keeps you safe from the things
that are actually happening.
Anxiety tries to keep you safe from the things
(35:25):
that haven't happened yet, that they're guessing about,
that it's trying to read the future.
And I've had plenty of talks with my therapist about this.
It's better than it used to be.
I used to just let anxiety just go, oh man,
this is what it's like to be afraid of everything.
So it's less fear of the future
and just fear of the unknown in the future.
(35:47):
So I'm not gonna guess what's gonna happen in the future,
but the void that's left of me not thinking about it
is just sitting there and going, hey, worry.
And I'm like, I don't wanna do that.
Humans are very good at adapting to the climate
that they currently are in.
So if you are in a constant state of panic,
(36:08):
you're not doing that correctly.
And well, here's the thing,
I'm really good at distracting myself.
Like Xbox Game Pass, giving me new games just constantly.
Are they good? Who cares?
But they distract me.
Yeah, exactly.
I've been playing, I told myself,
I was going to put this on this podcast.
I have been playing this game called Gossip Harbor
(36:30):
on my phone.
Neat.
It's a matching game, but in the center of it,
there's this really messy individual
who starts off the game getting divorced,
falling in love with a fisherman.
But in the meantime,
still thinking about taking back her husband.
And in the meantime, like she's trying to take care.
Ooh.
It's-
That's drama.
I like that.
(36:50):
It still has so much like guilt-free drama,
but at least it's a little cartoon character.
This isn't like an ad-red, right?
This isn't an ad-red?
No.
Oh, okay.
So you just genuinely enjoyed this?
I genuinely enjoyed this game.
Y'all should go play that.
Okay.
She's so messy,
and everything around her life is messy,
but in the meantime,
I get to match up these little things in her kitchen
and create like sandwiches and donuts and shit.
Oh, let's see.
(37:11):
It's great.
Anyway, so I can distract myself very easily.
Okay.
Between that and like having forcing myself,
I don't know, it was a force.
It was a force at the beginning of last year.
It's less so now.
Forcing myself to go out and talk to people
who I've made friends with, you, Edith.
(37:34):
Who, friends?
Ladies and gentlemen, here we are.
It's live.
I have made a friend.
Just put it out there.
Live on camera.
Edith Rosenblatt, who I do my other podcasts with.
Todd A. Davis, who I'm doing a live.
This is gonna be my second live D&D event
at the end of this week.
You're doing live D&D events?
Yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
(37:54):
Where is that?
It's in Greer, South Carolina.
If you guys wanna go check it out, the third.
Oh, I thought you meant like on live.
I didn't realize that.
No, no, no.
Like in person.
Like I'm live.
I have to actually drive?
I am on stage.
Well, there's a place that is streamed,
but we're trying to push the live tickets first.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, no, that makes sense.
So push it.
Go.
But yeah, it's the third event
(38:14):
maybe happening shortly after this episode, I believe,
because this is coming out in January.
And he wants to do it every month.
The second one we just did in December.
It's comedians and drag performers on stage.
Five people on a table,
and then the sixth person being the DM,
which is Todd Davis.
Anyway, he is another great friend that I've made.
(38:35):
He's the one that got me into writing my book.
Sweet.
Yeah, so that has been a, I think a healthy distraction.
Right.
So that has helped with these feelings that I have.
Cause I don't talk politics with these people.
I'm sure they have their own reasons for voting
(38:55):
for whatever they did.
Did we all vote blue?
I think we did.
But each one, we're living in such different examples
on life, like, you know, whether or not we own a house,
what our jobs look like, what we think security means
for us in the future that we all voted for a different way
that I don't think either one of us
(39:16):
have gotten to a point where we go.
Okay, so let's talk about who did you vote for?
And having friends that don't necessarily pull you
into those conversations the moment you walk into the house
is invaluable.
I've had a couple of friends like that.
And I'm not talking to those friends right now.
I personally like having those sort of friends
that like will ask the hard questions.
(39:37):
Immediately?
Immediately when you walk through the door.
Like you're kicking your shoes off
and they're like, all right, fuck her, who'd you vote for?
Exactly.
Wow.
I mean, if you say it like that, yes, 100%.
Well, that's true.
I guess there is a certain camaraderie with that.
Right? It's a little bit of like, okay,
maybe we didn't vote for the same person,
but we hate everyone together.
Right.
So that's nice.
(39:57):
Fair enough. Okay.
But like, you only need a couple of those sort of friends,
right?
Maybe just one, you know, lifetime.
But not every friend that you have.
Because at that point, I feel like for somebody who
likes giving energy to friends, and especially-
I would get more than energy to friends.
And I get comfortable enough talking to people doesn't
(40:20):
put that away.
Damn it.
My bad guys.
I have a derailed situation.
Yeah.
I promise of a good time.
And the next thing I know, I've become a jabbering idiot.
Oopsy poopsies.
From somebody who likes to give energy to people
once they get comfortable with them, like party events,
(40:42):
like that's a whole different giving energy.
In fact, my social battery drains a whole lot quicker.
Oh, okay.
And this, if all of my friends were like the, you know,
shoes off, you know, hey fucker, who'd you vote for,
type person, I feel like I wouldn't have as much energy
to give to other people.
Right.
I'd have to be like, this is the person I'm gonna see
(41:03):
that day.
They like, if you're one of those people who have like two
thanksgivings to go to, they would be the last persons
thanksgiving I'd go to.
Because I know that's the main event.
That's the most energy that I gotta put out.
But, you know, that's how my energy runs.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about you?
Say you're in this situation, you have two thanksgivings.
You have the one thanksgiving where everybody's just like,
(41:25):
you know, we're all here to have a good time, eat food,
talk about nothing.
And then you have, you know, shoes off, hey fucker,
which one are you going for first?
I'm going to be, hey, shoes off, hey fucker, 100%.
Yeah.
Because I feed off of drama.
That's all I do.
I see your eyes light up when I mentioned what the hell my
game is about.
It's like, oh, that's a drama.
(41:45):
Wait a second.
That's drama.
Yes.
I need it.
I'm usually the one that stirs the pot at the family
gatherings right before I leave.
Fair enough.
Well, getting to know you and also like the type of energy
that you've inherited from like your father, you know,
(42:06):
I could see that.
Yeah.
Somebody who does like to go in there and stir the shit up
a little bit.
I walk into Thanksgiving.
It's all nice and wonderful and stuff.
But as I'm leaving, already got the kids in the car grabbing
my last little bits of stuff, I'll say something dumb like,
hey, don't all liberals fucking suck and then I'll close
the door.
Just to hear all of them start yelling about it.
(42:27):
A little verbal hand grade.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, isn't the political climate pretty bad?
Gosh, all these transgender, am I right?
Oh my God.
Am I a fucking mess?
Just throw that in there.
Like you slip in a flashbang in traffic.
Holy shit.
That's great.
What a metaphor.
(42:47):
What a fucking metaphor.
All right.
I have no idea how long we've been going.
But I feel like I feel like we got out.
We're at a good halfway point.
Halfway point, you think?
We've got other things we've got to do today, my guy.
How long has this been?
I have no clue.
Say what?
Let's take a look.
(43:08):
Because like.
God, do I know my tail time or what?
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Do we want to do the sign off and stuff like that?
Yeah.
We'll just do that.
I won't scream as the microphone does not.
That's good.
Yeah.
Blue hasn't come back, by the way, since you screamed.
You just have such a good time sitting in this ring light
right here and then same screaming.
(43:28):
Took the fuck off.
It was good to actually talk about those emotions
with somebody.
And if you haven't had a chance to do that yet,
if you're still holding on to fear
or if you're holding on to the grief that you may feel
for something that you feel that got lost,
there's two things I want to say to that.
One, you can't keep holding on to things that are lost.
(43:49):
You can remember them.
You can talk about them with people,
but holding onto it is only going to cause you more sorrow.
I recommend letting go by talking either
with a good friend, a therapist, if you have it,
or a family member who understands you,
who luckily I married into a family that actually we,
I know that coming this Christmas,
there's only going to be one person we're going to worry
(44:10):
about that's going to really bring the verbal hand grenade
like you would do.
Now, I personally would go the opposite route.
Hold on to that sorrow as much as possible.
Turn it into anger and use it against the people around you
at all times.
That just goes to show the difference
between an inspiring Buddhist and a combative angry man who
wants to see the world burn as he leaves it behind
(44:32):
and goes to Mexico.
Did I get that right?
You know, that's the plan.
The plan's changed.
I might not go to Mexico.
I'd be going to your house to your Thanksgiving,
and I'm going to drop verbal hand grenades
on your conversation.
Fucking app.
But seriously, I've said it before in almost everything
that I've ever been in is anxiety is smaller when it comes
(44:53):
out of your chest.
Talk to it about somebody.
Even if you think that it's going to be a fight, fuck it.
Sometimes fights are also good.
Don't get lost in it.
We're just going to keep moving forward,
and I think that's really the best advice.
Keep moving forward.
Talk out your anxieties.
Do you have any last words you want to give to the people?
Or turn it into comedy and never let it go.
(45:14):
Oh, yeah.
And instead, make it up everybody else's problem.
Well, they do say that comics pretty much thrive off
the pain in which they dwell.
Thank you so much for coming to join in this.
I want to start leaving off all my podcasts
by saying, please, if there's anything that you want to add,
if there's anything that you agree with,
if there's any suggestions that you would want to talk about,
or hear us, not necessarily us, but whoever
(45:35):
guessed that I happen to have.
And he does have a lot of really awesome guests.
I try.
You should definitely go back and watch all of the other
It's Your Loss.
It was a great year.
It really was.
Feel free to put it in the comments below.
Rate, subscribe, do whatever you do.
Yeah, if you haven't hit that subscribe button,
absolutely do that.
Hit the like button so that way more people will see our
ugly podcast.
This is a monthly podcast, so it's not like I'm reminding you
(45:58):
every week.
It's the thing that you want to get that ding
in every month.
And you know what?
Hot, fresh, new.
It makes us feel better if you hit that subscribe button.
But also, since we're only doing this once a month, well,
wait, he's only doing this once a month,
you're not going to get it in your subscriber box all the time.
Yeah, we're going to have to cut because we'll have to think,
not cut, but I'm going to think about how the hell I normally
sign these things off.
(46:19):
OK, I can just go on with a little bit.
Timmy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
The joy to have you on this podcast.
You bring a little chaos.
It's great.
Thoughts on cheese.
Often cheese.
Why is it funny?
Why it's funny?
Because sometimes when you eat too much, you fart,
(46:42):
but you can't poop.
And if you happen to have friends that are Mexicans,
go ahead and say your goodbyes.
Holy shit.
And if you happen to miss the next episode,
which will be the actual season 2 opener,
well, it's still going to be your loss.
Thank you so much for joining.
And I will talk to you guys later.
(47:04):
Ah!
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
if you're just tasting these, charge my phone.
(00:01):
No, that's a good idea.
Everything in here is plugged in.
Including us, including our cat, which, photo.
Remember Michael put photo, cat being little,
I random white light.
Welcome to It's Your Loss podcast,
where raw stories of resilience and healing are told,
(00:22):
all while uncovering and destigmatizing
the diverse symptoms of loss.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you missed last month's episode, well, it's your loss.
This is the unofficial beginning of the new season.
The new season is actually still going to start in April,
but I'd be remiss if I didn't put up this episode.
(00:44):
We had a lot of feelings, a lot of things
that triggered feelings of loss
and how we dealt with them seemed to be wide and varied,
but I will tell you that there is one thing
that everybody did, and that's what they said.
They practiced self-care.
I am here with Sam Simmons.
Ah!
Well then.
Ha ha ha.
(01:05):
All right, everything's reset again.
Whether or not I actually use that, we'll see.
This might all wind up on the cutting room floor,
but we don't know.
Sorry guys, didn't mean to do that.
I just wanted to give you the accurate,
emotional response to the election results.
Yeah, yeah, so some people definitely woke up
and started screaming.
Some people woke up, looked at their phones,
(01:25):
rolled over and went back to sleep.
Hot-blooded panic for me, honestly,
and I also looked up the prices for housing
in both Canada and in Mexico.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
What's more preferable right now for you?
Me personally?
Yeah.
Mexico.
Yeah?
Because my mother lives in Canada, the frigid north.
Oh really?
So as far away as physically possible,
(01:45):
does it make it more difficult for her?
I didn't realize that the relationship
between you and your mom was a thing
where you needed to get two countries away.
It's actually not.
I just like to be a butthead.
Fair enough.
I would try to get away from my mother
if she's in the shelf upstairs.
So we both have our ways of going.
Oh, OK.
That's nice.
Right?
Levity is one of the ways that a lot of people
(02:08):
deal with stress and freaking out.
As is the case, if you knowing that this is a podcast about grief,
you can just come and scream it.
I love that.
I mean, it's always got to.
So I'll start this off just from a personal note
of what happened to me.
And I feel like what my symptoms that I actually had,
(02:29):
because I woke up that morning feeling ill.
I had not even looked at the phone or anything.
Like I went to bed before the results.
I took a look at what the results were at that point.
And Mike Tyson.
Those of you who saw the fight understand that joke.
The fighting is gloved the entire time.
(02:51):
Hopefully none of you all put down money.
Oh, God.
I hope not.
I hope not.
I felt bad enough just walking away from that thing,
just watching it.
Like it was such a sad turnout.
But you actually got to watch it?
The Netflix was shut down.
Oh, my Netflix was doing perfect.
Really?
Yeah, the entire time.
Oh, my God.
OK, so we were over at the Comic Book shop
that you've been to also.
If you all have any idea what I'm talking about,
you absolutely don't.
So it just kept going in and out.
(03:15):
And there was no actual screen for a while.
That's rough.
Yeah, we had to watch on our phone
while we were sitting there.
I think I had two buffering moments,
and those were during other people's fights.
Yeah, and so I didn't.
I loved those fights.
Yeah, those were great fights.
Yeah, those were passionate real fights
that I felt like actually had stakes.
Yeah.
However.
Yeah.
So anyway, I woke up the morning after the election
(03:37):
and just feeling like crap.
Head was hurting, stomach was roiling, joints were hurting.
I felt like I had the man flu, to be honest with you.
Then I checked the results.
And everything that I had added the effect
of feeling the stomach drop.
Because it's not the fact that I'm afraid of Trump
(03:58):
and what he's going to bring into office.
I feel like I kind of know.
There's a lot of things that people say
when they want to get elected that don't necessarily
come to fruition because either A, it takes time, or support,
or they just want to get the people stirred up
and enough frenzy that yes, they will get the vote.
It happens on both sides.
I'm not just saying that the left or the right, it happens.
(04:20):
Yes, but when it comes to both sides, unfortunately,
Trump has a way of actually doing what he says
that he's going to do.
And everything that he says that he's going to do
is fucking horrible.
That's true.
Every time.
Yeah, OK.
So maybe my stomach dropping was kind of realizing that too,
that he has such a single-minded pigheadedness
about everything that he does.
(04:41):
Does nobody remember the first four years?
No, I don't think they do.
Content for days, unfortunately.
Every single day on Twitter was a horror show.
I mean, it's good for the comedians, right?
You know, for it's heyday for the comedians.
Yeah.
They have pretty much a secure job for the next four years.
Yeah.
(05:03):
But yeah, right?
Yeah.
Don't want to steal your thunder, but yeah.
It was about 6 o'clock in the morning when I did wake up,
because I'm trying to wake up naturally here recently.
So that's forcing myself to get up around 6.
That way, if I do happen to get up late,
it's still late enough for me to get to work on time.
And also gives me enough time to eat right instead of going out
(05:26):
to eat a lot, because me personally, whenever I wake up,
it's always in a cold sweat.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Very terrified of the night before.
You, like, every night?
Yeah.
Wow.
You know, therapy.
Therapy, my guy.
No, no.
I just got a raw dog life.
(05:47):
I probably should.
Oh, man.
So this is my therapy.
Yeah.
Good.
You talk to people, you know?
No, just this.
Oh, just this?
Just this part.
OK.
Just the two episodes that I've been on.
This is the only about a therapy that I can afford.
Thank you, American Health Care System.
Yeah.
It's only going to get better.
Did my mic turn off?
Oh, there it goes.
(06:07):
It's on again.
It's on again.
Go back, guys.
You wake up in the morning?
Yeah, so I wake up in the morning at 6 o'clock.
Not feeling like P. Diddy?
No.
And nor being felt by P. Diddy.
So if you win some, you lose some.
I'm sorry.
The whole my body feels horrible.
And I'm thinking, all right, well, I already feel sick.
(06:29):
And we have a pretty much standing order at the office
that if you feel sick, don't go to work.
Because it's only 20-something people
if a virus breaks out in that office.
That's the entire office?
Yeah, we're all a bit low.
So I was like, all right.
In the back of my head, I'm like, all right,
so that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to follow protocol.
I'm going to call in.
And obviously, no one picks up the phone
(06:49):
at 6 o'clock in the morning.
So we have pretty chill people.
I wind up texting in.
And of course, no one responds to me for the entire day.
But then I go in to work the next day.
I'm feeling better.
I had my day, which I'll get into that further here
in a minute.
But I had my day.
I went in and then nobody said anything.
(07:10):
I wasn't in trouble.
And everybody was like, hey, do you feel better?
So they got the text.
They just didn't answer it, which is infuriating
as somebody who likes to respond, like, talk via text.
Right?
Yeah, I just feel like the other person isn't there.
So physical ailments and then a day of self-care,
which I'll talk about that.
(07:31):
That's what my day after the election day.
That's what that was my November 6th.
I was able to do that.
I think Marley was able to go to work.
It's just me here by myself.
That was my day.
You have a whole family to contend with.
Well, contend, live, however you want to put that.
But you have a whole family to live with.
(07:51):
What was your reaction?
What was your family's reaction?
I doubt your kids really had much to think about.
Thank you, Mike.
I'm glad that you asked.
I beat my children that day.
I'm so asleep.
Whole sale abuse.
I mean, somebody's got to, as a parent,
you have to do those sort of things.
You need to beat your children.
But no, both Claudia and I had nothing but jokes to say.
(08:13):
The entire day, which, you know, it's at least one thing
to feel better about.
But also, it just feels real.
I don't like it.
But yeah, woke up, took a shower like usual, angry.
Got dressed, angry.
Looked at my wife, not angry.
That's good.
But she looked at me angry.
(08:35):
So she matched my energy.
Faced turned angry.
We've just been complaining about it,
not stopped that entire day.
Made some food.
The kids asked what was wrong.
And we both said, nothing.
And then I think I wanted to make some happy content,
just to get me out of the funk.
And that didn't work.
I never posted it.
(08:55):
Did you post anything at all about it?
I think it's best if I did.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Straight up.
My initial reaction was generally screaming.
At the top of my lungs, to nobody in particular,
and incoherently.
Same thing with Claudia.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You matched that energy.
Really nice.
I'm with somebody who doesn't necessarily
(09:17):
match my energy when it comes to the more high energy stuff.
Because I tend to lean a little bit more
towards the manic side in general, especially
if my ADHD is in full swing that day.
Or if I'm hyper-focused on something, which again,
is still under ADHD, but still.
So she's more methodical.
(09:37):
And if anything is really emotionally charged,
that's going to get her, it's going
to be the negative stuff that is more
of a personal slight towards her.
Like somebody has done her wrong or something like that.
So she didn't really feel like anything was done wrong
towards her during this.
And so what I watched, she was a little bit more quiet.
I have to say that was about the only symptom that I saw
(10:01):
that anything was really kind of affecting her.
She didn't want either side, either major side.
She didn't want Kamala.
She didn't want Trump.
And that's why she decided to vote for somebody else.
I don't remember what his name is,
but somebody who is independent.
I don't think it would be Green either way.
(10:21):
She just didn't feel like her consciousness was
going to allow for either side.
But I'm seeing as I took a look at some of the numbers.
I'm not going to pull them up here because that's just
depressing, but the amount of people who didn't vote
instead of voting for something else, which was just wild
for me because as much as a fever pitch as we've tried
(10:41):
to introduce to the younger voters, the new voters,
it's like, hey, it's your thing to vote.
I don't really know what the ages were or anything like that.
In fact, that might be something that I could look up,
but I'm not that prepared.
But I'm just wondering how many younger voters went,
(11:02):
this isn't worth it at all.
And just didn't vote.
Yeah, and didn't vote because what you see on the news,
what they want to put in front of the screen
are older, angry people voting for either side.
Yeah, well, of course.
And they didn't really highlight any of the younger
generation, which makes me wonder, did they get left out?
(11:22):
She voted independently.
We don't really talk heavy into politics.
In fact, we're good with that for any members of our family.
One of the things that I have found out over the last 12
years is that the people who you think politically,
they could be on a completely different branch.
(11:43):
100%.
Right.
Humor, maybe.
Memes, sure, you could share the same memes all day long,
but the moment you start talking about health care
or women's rights or taxes or trans rights or anything.
Yeah, immigration.
People just learning what the hell the tariff is.
I'm sorry, I'm one of those people.
I understood the word tariff that it applies to someone
(12:07):
who's getting charged.
But it wasn't until a very kind teacher from Canada who
puts out really good content on TikTok
spelled it out on chalkboard for me at the ripe old age of 41
where I went, OK, I kind of knew what was going on,
but now I understand even more.
Yes.
Generally, it becomes a tax on the entire population.
(12:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it sounds like, oh, well, we're
just going to stop the inflow of stuff
from outside of America.
But unfortunately, America does not
produce that much of anything.
Right.
Yeah.
However, industrial age is long but forgotten.
And then understanding that actually kind of put
a little bit more emphasis on who I wanted to vote for.
(12:52):
And you can probably infer from how I'm talking for who I voted
for, but they didn't impose higher tariffs.
And I was like, again, Trump does what Trump says.
And he gets a lot of people behind him to make sure
that things happen.
Also, it's very important to remember
that Kamala Harris started halfway through this year
(13:16):
while Trump's been supporting, and we're not supporting,
but trying to get that reelection since day one of 2020.
Absolutely.
So.
And he was also been doing things before then,
which there were people who were saying,
hey, Kamala Harris's presence and her plans
seem a little loose, a little half-baked.
(13:39):
They appeal more for the emotions,
getting people behind her and everything.
We won't go back.
Whereas Trump is hitting on the same thing, saying, hey,
we're going to go back to this.
We need to impose this again.
And that's because he's been thinking about this for, well,
I don't know how much to think.
Yeah, for a while.
But also, I feel like the entire Democrat Party,
(14:02):
I put all of their eggs in the Biden basket
that unfortunately, when they did switch over,
now they have to have brand new policies that they
want to write up for Kamala.
But that was like an escape plan because Biden is falling apart.
It's hard not to notice the bag of skeletons
(14:24):
that's just walking around.
OK?
He's fallen to pieces on stage.
But you know what the best thing about him
and his stage presence and what he's having right now
is the Michael Bay meme, where it just says something like,
hey, are you really going to go fishing for the next three
(14:44):
days or something like that?
And Biden just looks back at the camera, starts to smile,
and it cuts away.
Oh my god.
It says Michael Bay.
Why did I do that?
Best thing to happen out of all of that debacle.
My day after I got up and started moving around and whatnot,
I realized that A, I was probably hungry and dehydrated.
(15:07):
And once I took care of those things bodily, I felt better.
But the mental.
Are you actually wanting to feel better?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I woke up wanting to feel angry and I didn't want to stop.
I was really nice with my kids, though.
I didn't throw them away.
They're still here, unfortunately.
That's good.
But yes, I didn't want to feel good.
(15:28):
It's like I wanted to live in this moment of just hatred
and anger.
And I think I'm still there.
Mentally, I was definitely doing that.
Unstable, probably.
I was feeling low.
I was lost a lot of hair, since the last time I was told.
It was rough.
It just came off like I was a molting, like I was a Yago.
(15:48):
You know, ripping out his own feathers.
You know what's straight up last time that I saw him?
I think he weighed a lot more.
So yeah, maybe it's that.
Who knows?
Maybe it's just stressing me a little.
I'm going to write my congressman and say,
look what Trump has done to me and just take before and after
photos.
See what I can get out of that.
Wow.
Fucking talent.
No, mentally, I knew where I was at.
(16:09):
I was snapping at myself on things on the screen.
I snapped them hardly once.
My wife once.
And it was a low key snap.
And she's like, what?
I'm lighting up, and man, I'm sorry.
I'm just, I'm not in it.
And then we had breakfast.
It was great.
She went to work.
We're OK.
Yeah, mentally, I knew that this wasn't something
(16:30):
that I was just going to be able to push through.
The physical stuff, sure.
That's why I felt like shit, because I needed to hydrate
and needed to eat.
So that, you know, I at least took care of myself physically.
I didn't go online because I felt like that was going to,
I wouldn't be able to live in my space
and help to process the emotions.
It was just going to heap onto the fire.
So where you said you didn't post anything
(16:51):
because you were worried, I only posted reruns.
OK, that makes sense.
Also, I really did not want to have a conversation with anybody,
especially my fathers and uncles.
So I was like, well, I'm just going to screen some phone calls
and not listen to anybody for a little bit,
because, you know, I don't want to build up to anything.
(17:13):
So that's another thing as well.
I have family members.
Yeah, how do you feel about family members
that voted on the opposite?
I've made a couple of videos about this
and just kind of helped me process my thoughts about it.
There are people out there who voted red, who voted blue,
and not because of an emotional rhetoric,
not because of the fact that they dislike a certain person
(17:37):
a way of life or anything like that.
They voted solely because of the money.
As much as that irritates me,
I know that some of these people didn't do it out of bigotry and racism.
Right. But also the money aspect,
if we're being real here, the economy is in the shithole.
Because of a pandemic that happened in 2020,
(17:58):
a response that was created by Trump
who could have closed borders earlier than that,
but instead decided to say that,
oh, well, China is the enemy,
and instead we're just going to stop the influx of goods
that are coming from there, but not exactly, you know,
halting interstate commerce.
Yeah, it was messy.
Some of my family members, some of my friends,
(18:19):
you know, they see something in Trump's response
that may somehow turn that around.
I'm not financially minded enough
to even know what they saw.
So I can't side with them on that.
But I do know that all in all, they're good people.
They just spend too much time watching TV.
Yeah.
(18:39):
Now, there are some people, however, who don't watch TV,
who still voted for them.
And some of the things that I have seen in their past
and the way that they have...
Let's say you know that whole metric where they say
you can judge a person, how they judge them,
how they treat their wait staff?
Yes.
Yeah.
So there are moments like that where...
moments where they have treated them
(19:01):
as a member of society.
You lack empathy completely.
Oh.
And it just shines a big red light.
I wonder who they voted for, right?
Oh my goodness, it's crazy.
It's almost like that's the sort of people
that vote for that side.
And so I didn't want to...
And now I kind of know, like I'd already started
(19:22):
to kind of draw away from them because as I've become
the person who I am right now, I am...
Good sir.
Yeah, thank you.
I appreciate that.
I'm trying to surround myself with even better people,
you know, because the way that I learned...
How did I get in this house?
I have no clue.
I took my key away from you.
You still wound up standing in the kitchen
when I came downstairs.
Actually sent me his address.
Can you believe that?
(19:42):
Mistakes were made.
The whole idea of surrounding yourself
with people who either know more than you or better than you
is something that I learned as a manager working in fast food
for the longest time.
And I think that's why I made pretty decent teams
and why people were like, oh, you're always our best manager.
I'm like, please stop saying that to the other managers
to their face.
That's not fair to them.
(20:03):
Michael was better.
Yeah.
Michael was better.
I'm telling you, that's happened.
Like when people leave and it's like, all y'all suck,
except for him.
He's the only one who knows what he's doing.
You're not my real dad.
I'm like, oh my god, please.
I have to work with these people after you leave.
What the fuck are you doing?
But I've always thought that.
And there were crew who knew how to do things quicker
(20:27):
and better than me.
People who had started like four or five months.
They've only been there for four or five months.
They already know what they're doing.
I trust them in that position.
And instead of micromanaging them,
I'm like, you know what you're doing.
If you have any opinions, if you have anything like that,
please tell me.
And so that's how I'm living right now.
Empathy and you understand people.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
(20:48):
And how did you vote?
How did I vote?
Yeah.
I voted for Kamal.
Yes.
Yes.
Wow, there's a correlation here.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I read both of their websites.
I listened to what rhetoric that's not politically
or emotionally charged.
And I laid them out and I did a good old fashion pros
(21:10):
and cons list at my desk.
Because I felt that as anytime that I
have to do anything that is going
to require a long term commitment from buying
a phone to selecting a president or somebody who's
going to lead in general, I want to know what's good,
what's bad, what's going to outweigh whatever.
And again, it could have been the fact
(21:31):
that Kamala had only had so much time.
Well, even with less time, she should have been able to get it
because it should have been a slam dunk.
He's a felit.
Did we forget that?
I mean.
Yeah.
Did we forget the massive amount of sexual allegations,
(21:52):
specifically between him and the teen USA models?
Did you?
Teen USA?
Did they?
There are so many things that did make me go, hey,
were you not listening?
Were you not paying attention?
Did you only see what he was yelling and forget about all
the things that are being quiet right now?
And I mean, that's politics for you, though.
And so again, all of this just made me feel just horrible.
(22:18):
Like I said, snapping people, the mental state and everything.
Mine, my first thing into depression, was quick and immediate.
I don't really think there was room for any of the other five
stages.
If was there, there was really no bargaining.
Anger was definitely there.
I don't think I went through any of the other stages
(22:39):
where you decide to anger.
I don't think I ever felt any other ones.
And I don't think I ever left.
OK, so not even grief?
Because grief is one of the most dumb.
Oh, that is the reason for this podcast.
I'm going to say yes specifically because I'm
sorry.
Well, no, no, no.
It's what you really felt.
Like was there any moment of, because grief is the brain's
(23:00):
natural way of letting go or trying
to let go of things that either could have happened
or that was.
So was there any moment where you were like, shit,
this could have been like this.
And then your brain just kind of went off into anger.
Or it was just like straight into anger.
I understood as soon as the electron results popped up,
(23:21):
I was like, yep, sounds about right.
So acceptance and anger at all time?
Because I mean, 100%.
Yeah, because there was no like trying to figure out
like, oh, what could have happened?
What could have I done better?
If I could have said other things.
No, people are stupid.
That's the horrible thing about being
in this kind of electoral process is the fact
(23:43):
that you do what you think is best.
And whether it like, I'm sure there
are people out there who like saw some independent
and it was like, hey, you actually might be the best,
even though there wasn't a large campaign for them.
Maybe they saw something in that person.
And that person, you know, lost as well.
Or for some people's lives never even got a chance.
(24:04):
You do what you can.
You go, you vote, you do the research, hopefully.
Hopefully that's what you did.
And if you didn't, well, I guess at this point,
you could be part of that grief situation.
What could you have done better?
You could have done the research and you could have voted.
You could be, you probably are more in the five stages
(24:25):
of grief than the people who actually went out there
and voted.
And I don't wish negative feelings on anybody out there
who didn't get what they want.
But if you didn't try for something,
you've put yourself in your own hell.
And I don't think that's worth it.
And I'm so sorry that you're in that situation.
But if you didn't vote and somehow everything
(24:48):
is still going well for you, please get in the comments
and let me know what your life is like right now.
Tell me why you didn't vote and why you're still happy
with this.
There's gotta be somebody out there.
You know, this country is made out of like
thousands of circles and one giant Venn diagram.
There's gotta be somebody who has to overlap.
Especially in our community, right?
(25:08):
With grief and loss in general.
Who would listen to all of this?
Yeah, I'm part of another podcast that we had a very
emotionally charged conversation about a week and a half
after the actual election.
And the guy who we talked to, James J. Speck, heck guy.
We had a good conversation about what do we do next?
(25:31):
There's still people out there who have all the
emotion, this anger and I'm even seeing like whispers
of things out there.
Like people are like dissecting Harris's hosts
after, you know, she lost, including like some
of the more recent ones.
I'm like, you know, this is what we're gonna do
as a nation.
This is what we should do.
(25:51):
We should despair.
And they're seeing this as like a dog whistle almost
like a call for people to start getting in arms
because we're all going to like,
somehow stop this oncoming presidential event
that's gonna last for four years and do whatever it is
to be the country.
I don't think I've seen anybody really come up in arms
to the point where they want to riot the entire capital.
(26:13):
No, not to that point.
Like definitely not to that point, no.
What I'm seeing is more than the lines of like,
we're all gonna band together as a nation
and we're all going, it like almost cold war-esque
speak, I'll be honest with you.
Yeah, very much.
I don't think that's what Harris is saying.
If it does, I'm, you know, it's another historical event.
(26:34):
We get to live through that people,
that kids are gonna read in history books later on.
Right.
What do we do now just as normal people
who are just trying to live our lives?
Like, do we just keep our heads down?
Assume the worst.
Assume the worst plan for any amount of panic.
So, we'll say that.
We'll say that that's true.
(26:56):
So, we'll say that, we'll say that that's your preparation
process, just saying, you know.
What would you do to prep?
Go ahead and start packing everything.
And start looking at plans outside of the country mostly.
I'm not sure if you remember, but his stances
on any sort of foreign immigration is pretty horrible,
(27:17):
especially when it comes to everything going through Mexico.
Especially the people who I'm not sure if you remember
specifically, but my wife is from Mexico
and so is the rest of her family.
So, this directly affects us in general.
I'll click somebody who's thought about this,
like as far as the packing and the leaving.
(27:38):
Just in case, you know, because if ICE comes through
and they change like birthright citizenship,
but they also revoke it from the people
who happened to have already gotten it,
well then, half my family's gonna disappear.
So, what do you have the necessary paperwork
to allow you to cross the said border?
That was the situation.
(27:58):
See, that's the thing that we're thinking about.
And I know that most people would be like,
well deportation hasn't really affected you
as a person in general.
Actually it has, it's already affected
either my brother-in-law or even my mother,
who was a deported back in 2016, I think.
Yeah, during the first Trump presidency.
(28:20):
Yeah, she lived in Canada.
See, apparently, wasn't a US citizen after that.
Okay, so that's why she's up there.
That answers the question I didn't get a chance to ask
when you brought that up earlier.
So, we're thinking about getting like passport information
and stuff for us, but it's not for like fear
(28:40):
of deportation reasons, it's just, we know that.
I'm just kidding.
Maybe over the next four years, it'd be nice
to spend some time away from this over here
and just go to see what life is at places like.
Honestly, life in other places is kind of nice.
Flew to France not too long ago.
If you stay out of Paris, because Paris kind of sucks,
(29:02):
the rest of France, kind of fucking amazing.
The rest of Europe, kind of amazing.
The healthcare in Canada makes the entire thing worth it.
Honestly, Mexico, same thing.
Well, I hear that.
You only hear about the horrible things in Mexico,
but like straight up healthcare,
your ability to actually make businesses,
(29:25):
the economy in general, better.
The amount of time that I've spent out of the country
was all like Navy related.
And so, there are some places that I think
I would like to revisit as a civilian
and not necessarily with the entire idea
that I have to go into a ship later
to actually experience what life is like in other places.
But I also know that shit, we have a hard time
(29:48):
even like saving up for our house,
just the way that life is right now.
And so like the thought of not only just trying to get
a nicer place to live in a country that I am,
but the idea of going to another country
and trying to start a whole new life.
I like the idea, but it scares the hell out of me
(30:09):
because of the unknown, I guess.
Also.
Yeah.
And you know, humans don't, they don't like two things.
They don't like the unknown and they don't like change.
So, which is why death is such a fucking joke
to the human race in general,
because you get yeeted into the unknown
and it's such a inevitable state of change
(30:30):
that we're all gonna have to go through.
And so, I don't know, I'm not saying that moving
to another country reminds me of death,
but it definitely gives me the warm and crawly sensation
of anxiety.
What I hope for you and your family is that
it isn't going to be like that.
Like a jarring experience.
(30:51):
Yeah.
Yeah, we already have a place in.
It actually turns out well.
For us.
Yeah, Claudia already has her family living in Mexico,
like an entire portion, we have a house.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's, it would just be an easy transition,
but not for everybody, you know?
Everybody doesn't get the exact same thing.
No.
However, if you're like worried about like,
oh, well, are they gonna really understand me
(31:12):
in another location, Canada is just America to point out.
They have Burger Kings and McDonald's and Walmart.
So that's the indication of standard of living right there.
Fast food Walmart said, we're home, baby.
It's the ex save.
Except when you go over to the doctor,
(31:34):
you won't be in debt for the rest of your life.
So that's crazy.
There's that.
There are aspects of my health right now,
which are on hold because of.
It's the penis enlargement.
That's it.
That's it.
I tried, I tried taping two sticks to it
and just stretching it every day.
In terms of, I just got splinters.
I went over to the doctors and they ended up just like,
removing some of it somehow.
(31:54):
Wow.
I was like, hey, can you make this bigger?
They were like, nope.
It only goes back.
Yeah.
We live in Georgia.
Don't say that.
Don't know.
The country.
We live in the country of Georgia.
Georgia.
Oh, it's good.
No, thanks.
They'll never know.
They'll never fucking know.
(32:15):
You're gonna have to edit this
because I'm gonna post your.
That's like, I'll just say that.
That's like.
Well, no, anybody, I'll be honest with you.
If anybody, if you only know me from this podcast,
you just now learned this,
but however, if you know anything else that I do,
I tag Georgia and Conn, Georgia all the time.
So, but you don't know what street.
You don't know what street.
(32:36):
And if you would like the street, it is currently one-oh.
Stop it.
All right, no.
So what they're doing is they're pushing out
the marketplace, the regular Obama marketplace,
and they're supplementing it with their own.
They are literally rejecting reality
and supplementing it with their own.
And the process of them pushing it out made
(32:57):
having insurance through the marketplace
hardly expensive.
I have something where my work helps out.
I kick back money for any medical expense that we have.
I drained that expense dry
and still owe more on the insurance.
That's how much we were getting, you know,
taken for a ride.
It's been rough.
So we had to stop that.
(33:18):
Now I have nothing going to the hospital or doctor.
It's just 100% out of my pocket.
And so we don't have that.
So there's just some things that as soon as we get
whatever insurance we can get, I'm gonna take care of.
It's gonna be great.
I might pack on some more pounds.
Who knows what's gonna happen in my life?
But I also don't know.
(33:39):
It's kind of up in the air what's gonna happen
with healthcare in general now.
And so there's another sense of like anxiety and worry.
I'm doing a lot of, I guess this is what's happening here.
I'm doing a lot of pre-greed.
I mean, anxiety, if anybody saw the new inside out movie,
which was fun, it was really good.
(34:01):
It showed one of the best examples
of an on-screen panic attack and it was a Disney cartoon.
Yeah, it showed kids as like,
hey, you may be feeling this and this is why.
And anyway, I love the movie.
I'll watch it again.
Okay, I guess I actually have to watch this.
Because I know I watched the first one
and I know my kids have watched the second one.
It's on Disney Plus, if you haven't watched it before.
(34:22):
It is, very easy to watch.
Yeah.
You just have to sell your soul to Disney.
Yeah, you just pay in the mouse.
But yeah, I haven't watched it.
So you remind me, especially when you were talking about
the symptoms that you were going through,
there was no grief, there was only anger.
You just remind me a little angry fire.
That's why I try to channel every single day of my life.
(34:43):
A little bit of anger.
So the new emotion that they show in there.
I'm just like a mixture of joy and anger.
I could see that.
Yeah, definitely.
I feel like an Apollo or Amy, Apollo.
Amy, Apollo.
Amy, Apollo?
Apollo, Apollo?
Apollo.
I think it's Apollo.
Like Amy.
PoE, yeah.
Amy's amazing.
Amy, if you're out there,
I used to give a view the other day on Blue Sky.
Go to Blue Sky.
(35:04):
Amy, you are my celebrity crush.
Would you like to kiss me on the lips?
On those lips, right there.
Right.
So anxiety in that movie sums it up perfectly
what that emotion is.
They are not, fear keeps you safe from the things
that are actually happening.
Anxiety tries to keep you safe from the things
(35:25):
that haven't happened yet, that they're guessing about,
that it's trying to read the future.
And I've had plenty of talks with my therapist about this.
It's better than it used to be.
I used to just let anxiety just go, oh man,
this is what it's like to be afraid of everything.
So it's less fear of the future
and just fear of the unknown in the future.
(35:47):
So I'm not gonna guess what's gonna happen in the future,
but the void that's left of me not thinking about it
is just sitting there and going, hey, worry.
And I'm like, I don't wanna do that.
Humans are very good at adapting to the climate
that they currently are in.
So if you are in a constant state of panic,
(36:08):
you're not doing that correctly.
And well, here's the thing,
I'm really good at distracting myself.
Like Xbox Game Pass, giving me new games just constantly.
Are they good? Who cares?
But they distract me.
Yeah, exactly.
I've been playing, I told myself,
I was going to put this on this podcast.
I have been playing this game called Gossip Harbor
(36:30):
on my phone.
Neat.
It's a matching game, but in the center of it,
there's this really messy individual
who starts off the game getting divorced,
falling in love with a fisherman.
But in the meantime,
still thinking about taking back her husband.
And in the meantime, like she's trying to take care.
Ooh.
It's-
That's drama.
I like that.
(36:50):
It still has so much like guilt-free drama,
but at least it's a little cartoon character.
This isn't like an ad-red, right?
This isn't an ad-red?
No.
Oh, okay.
So you just genuinely enjoyed this?
I genuinely enjoyed this game.
Y'all should go play that.
Okay.
She's so messy,
and everything around her life is messy,
but in the meantime,
I get to match up these little things in her kitchen
and create like sandwiches and donuts and shit.
Oh, let's see.
(37:11):
It's great.
Anyway, so I can distract myself very easily.
Okay.
Between that and like having forcing myself,
I don't know, it was a force.
It was a force at the beginning of last year.
It's less so now.
Forcing myself to go out and talk to people
who I've made friends with, you, Edith.
(37:34):
Who, friends?
Ladies and gentlemen, here we are.
It's live.
I have made a friend.
Just put it out there.
Live on camera.
Edith Rosenblatt, who I do my other podcasts with.
Todd A. Davis, who I'm doing a live.
This is gonna be my second live D&D event
at the end of this week.
You're doing live D&D events?
Yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
(37:54):
Where is that?
It's in Greer, South Carolina.
If you guys wanna go check it out, the third.
Oh, I thought you meant like on live.
I didn't realize that.
No, no, no.
Like in person.
Like I'm live.
I have to actually drive?
I am on stage.
Well, there's a place that is streamed,
but we're trying to push the live tickets first.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, no, that makes sense.
So push it.
Go.
But yeah, it's the third event
(38:14):
maybe happening shortly after this episode, I believe,
because this is coming out in January.
And he wants to do it every month.
The second one we just did in December.
It's comedians and drag performers on stage.
Five people on a table,
and then the sixth person being the DM,
which is Todd Davis.
Anyway, he is another great friend that I've made.
(38:35):
He's the one that got me into writing my book.
Sweet.
Yeah, so that has been a, I think a healthy distraction.
Right.
So that has helped with these feelings that I have.
Cause I don't talk politics with these people.
I'm sure they have their own reasons for voting
(38:55):
for whatever they did.
Did we all vote blue?
I think we did.
But each one, we're living in such different examples
on life, like, you know, whether or not we own a house,
what our jobs look like, what we think security means
for us in the future that we all voted for a different way
that I don't think either one of us
(39:16):
have gotten to a point where we go.
Okay, so let's talk about who did you vote for?
And having friends that don't necessarily pull you
into those conversations the moment you walk into the house
is invaluable.
I've had a couple of friends like that.
And I'm not talking to those friends right now.
I personally like having those sort of friends
that like will ask the hard questions.
(39:37):
Immediately?
Immediately when you walk through the door.
Like you're kicking your shoes off
and they're like, all right, fuck her, who'd you vote for?
Exactly.
Wow.
I mean, if you say it like that, yes, 100%.
Well, that's true.
I guess there is a certain camaraderie with that.
Right? It's a little bit of like, okay,
maybe we didn't vote for the same person,
but we hate everyone together.
Right.
So that's nice.
(39:57):
Fair enough. Okay.
But like, you only need a couple of those sort of friends,
right?
Maybe just one, you know, lifetime.
But not every friend that you have.
Because at that point, I feel like for somebody who
likes giving energy to friends, and especially-
I would get more than energy to friends.
And I get comfortable enough talking to people doesn't
(40:20):
put that away.
Damn it.
My bad guys.
I have a derailed situation.
Yeah.
I promise of a good time.
And the next thing I know, I've become a jabbering idiot.
Oopsy poopsies.
From somebody who likes to give energy to people
once they get comfortable with them, like party events,
(40:42):
like that's a whole different giving energy.
In fact, my social battery drains a whole lot quicker.
Oh, okay.
And this, if all of my friends were like the, you know,
shoes off, you know, hey fucker, who'd you vote for,
type person, I feel like I wouldn't have as much energy
to give to other people.
Right.
I'd have to be like, this is the person I'm gonna see
(41:03):
that day.
They like, if you're one of those people who have like two
thanksgivings to go to, they would be the last persons
thanksgiving I'd go to.
Because I know that's the main event.
That's the most energy that I gotta put out.
But, you know, that's how my energy runs.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about you?
Say you're in this situation, you have two thanksgivings.
You have the one thanksgiving where everybody's just like,
(41:25):
you know, we're all here to have a good time, eat food,
talk about nothing.
And then you have, you know, shoes off, hey fucker,
which one are you going for first?
I'm going to be, hey, shoes off, hey fucker, 100%.
Yeah.
Because I feed off of drama.
That's all I do.
I see your eyes light up when I mentioned what the hell my
game is about.
It's like, oh, that's a drama.
(41:45):
Wait a second.
That's drama.
Yes.
I need it.
I'm usually the one that stirs the pot at the family
gatherings right before I leave.
Fair enough.
Well, getting to know you and also like the type of energy
that you've inherited from like your father, you know,
(42:06):
I could see that.
Yeah.
Somebody who does like to go in there and stir the shit up
a little bit.
I walk into Thanksgiving.
It's all nice and wonderful and stuff.
But as I'm leaving, already got the kids in the car grabbing
my last little bits of stuff, I'll say something dumb like,
hey, don't all liberals fucking suck and then I'll close
the door.
Just to hear all of them start yelling about it.
(42:27):
A little verbal hand grade.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, isn't the political climate pretty bad?
Gosh, all these transgender, am I right?
Oh my God.
Am I a fucking mess?
Just throw that in there.
Like you slip in a flashbang in traffic.
Holy shit.
That's great.
What a metaphor.
(42:47):
What a fucking metaphor.
All right.
I have no idea how long we've been going.
But I feel like I feel like we got out.
We're at a good halfway point.
Halfway point, you think?
We've got other things we've got to do today, my guy.
How long has this been?
I have no clue.
Say what?
Let's take a look.
(43:08):
Because like.
God, do I know my tail time or what?
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Do we want to do the sign off and stuff like that?
Yeah.
We'll just do that.
I won't scream as the microphone does not.
That's good.
Yeah.
Blue hasn't come back, by the way, since you screamed.
You just have such a good time sitting in this ring light
right here and then same screaming.
(43:28):
Took the fuck off.
It was good to actually talk about those emotions
with somebody.
And if you haven't had a chance to do that yet,
if you're still holding on to fear
or if you're holding on to the grief that you may feel
for something that you feel that got lost,
there's two things I want to say to that.
One, you can't keep holding on to things that are lost.
(43:49):
You can remember them.
You can talk about them with people,
but holding onto it is only going to cause you more sorrow.
I recommend letting go by talking either
with a good friend, a therapist, if you have it,
or a family member who understands you,
who luckily I married into a family that actually we,
I know that coming this Christmas,
there's only going to be one person we're going to worry
(44:10):
about that's going to really bring the verbal hand grenade
like you would do.
Now, I personally would go the opposite route.
Hold on to that sorrow as much as possible.
Turn it into anger and use it against the people around you
at all times.
That just goes to show the difference
between an inspiring Buddhist and a combative angry man who
wants to see the world burn as he leaves it behind
(44:32):
and goes to Mexico.
Did I get that right?
You know, that's the plan.
The plan's changed.
I might not go to Mexico.
I'd be going to your house to your Thanksgiving,
and I'm going to drop verbal hand grenades
on your conversation.
Fucking app.
But seriously, I've said it before in almost everything
that I've ever been in is anxiety is smaller when it comes
(44:53):
out of your chest.
Talk to it about somebody.
Even if you think that it's going to be a fight, fuck it.
Sometimes fights are also good.
Don't get lost in it.
We're just going to keep moving forward,
and I think that's really the best advice.
Keep moving forward.
Talk out your anxieties.
Do you have any last words you want to give to the people?
Or turn it into comedy and never let it go.
(45:14):
Oh, yeah.
And instead, make it up everybody else's problem.
Well, they do say that comics pretty much thrive off
the pain in which they dwell.
Thank you so much for coming to join in this.
I want to start leaving off all my podcasts
by saying, please, if there's anything that you want to add,
if there's anything that you agree with,
if there's any suggestions that you would want to talk about,
or hear us, not necessarily us, but whoever
(45:35):
guessed that I happen to have.
And he does have a lot of really awesome guests.
I try.
You should definitely go back and watch all of the other
It's Your Loss.
It was a great year.
It really was.
Feel free to put it in the comments below.
Rate, subscribe, do whatever you do.
Yeah, if you haven't hit that subscribe button,
absolutely do that.
Hit the like button so that way more people will see our
ugly podcast.
This is a monthly podcast, so it's not like I'm reminding you
(45:58):
every week.
It's the thing that you want to get that ding
in every month.
And you know what?
Hot, fresh, new.
It makes us feel better if you hit that subscribe button.
But also, since we're only doing this once a month, well,
wait, he's only doing this once a month,
you're not going to get it in your subscriber box all the time.
Yeah, we're going to have to cut because we'll have to think,
not cut, but I'm going to think about how the hell I normally
sign these things off.
(46:19):
OK, I can just go on with a little bit.
Timmy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
The joy to have you on this podcast.
You bring a little chaos.
It's great.
Thoughts on cheese.
Often cheese.
Why is it funny?
Why it's funny?
Because sometimes when you eat too much, you fart,
(46:42):
but you can't poop.
And if you happen to have friends that are Mexicans,
go ahead and say your goodbyes.
Holy shit.
And if you happen to miss the next episode,
which will be the actual season 2 opener,
well, it's still going to be your loss.
Thank you so much for joining.
And I will talk to you guys later.
(47:04):
Ah!
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.