What Hump? Thirty Years of Cybersecurity and the Fine Art of Pretending It’s Not a Human Problem | A Musing On Society & Technology Newsletter Written By Marco Ciappelli | Read by TAPE3

What Hump? Thirty Years of Cybersecurity and the Fine Art of Pretending It’s Not a Human Problem

A new transmission from Musing On Society and Technology Newsletter, by Marco Ciappelli
June 6, 2025

A Post-Infosecurity Europe Reflection on the Strange but Predictable Ways We’ve Spent Thirty Years Pretending Cybersecurity Isn’t About People.

⸻ Once there was a movie titled “Young Frankenstein” (1974) — a black-and-white comedy directed by Mel Brooks, written with Gene Wilder, and starring Wilder and Marty Feldman, who delivers the iconic “What hump?” line.

Let me describe the scene:

[Train station, late at night. Thunder rumbles. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein steps off the train, greeted by a hunched figure holding a lantern — Igor.]

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It’s Franken-steen.

Igor: Oh. Well, they told me it was Frankenstein.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I’m not a Frankenstein. I’m a Franken-steen.

Igor (cheerfully): All right.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (noticing Igor’s eyes): You must be Igor.

Igor: No, it’s pronounced Eye-gor.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (confused): But they told me it was Igor.

Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren’t they?

[They begin walking toward the carriage.]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (noticing Igor’s severe hunchback): You know… I’m a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I could help you with that hump.

Igor (looks puzzled, deadpan): What hump?

[Cut to them boarding the carriage, Igor climbing on the outside like a spider, grinning wildly.]

It’s a joke, of course. One of the best. A perfectly delivered absurdity that only Mel Brooks and Marty Feldman could pull off. But like all great comedy, it tells a deeper truth.

Last night, standing in front of the Tower of London, recording one of our On Location recaps with Sean Martin, that scene came rushing back. We joked about invisible humps and cybersecurity. And the moment passed. Or so I thought.

Because hours later — in bed, hotel window cracked open to the London night — I was still hearing it: “What hump?”

And that’s when it hit me: this isn’t just a comedy bit. It’s a diagnosis.

 

Here we are at Infosecurity Europe, celebrating its 30th anniversary. Three decades of cybersecurity: a field born of optimism and fear, grown in complexity and contradiction.

We’ve built incredible tools. We’ve formed global communities of defenders. We’ve turned “hacker” from rebel to professional job title — with a 401(k), branded hoodies, and a sponsorship deal. But we’ve also built an industry that — much like poor Igor — refuses to admit something’s wrong.

The hump is right there. You can see it. Everyone can see it. And yet… we smile and say: “What hump?”

We say cybersecurity is a priority. We put it in slide decks. We hold awareness months. We write policies thick enough to be used as doorstops. But then we underfund training. We silo the security team. We click links in emails that say whatever will make us think it’s important — just like those pieces of snail mail stamped URGENT that we somehow believe, even though it turns out to be an offer for a new credit card we didn’t ask for and don’t want. Except this time, the payload isn’t junk mail — it’s a clown on a spring exploding out of a fun box.

Igor The hump moves, shifts, sometimes disappears from view — but it never actually goes away. And if you ask about it? Well… they were wrong then, weren’t they?

That's because it’s not a technology problem. This is the part that still seems hard to swallow for some: Cybersecurity is not a te