July 16, 2020 • 54 mins
Rizpah Waytes, a long-time Jennasis team member, joins Jennifer for a powerful discussion on being a bi-racial woman in a world highly influenced by race. We dive into Rizpah’s unfiltered experiences, the idea of assumed identity, and finding her voice to ignite positive change.
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Episode Transcript
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Jennifer Malcolm (00:13):
Welcome to the Jennasis Speaks podcast, The
Transformative Power of Women'sStories, a platform that
empowers women storytelling, topromote collective
vulnerability, acceptance andhealing. I am your host,
Jennifer Malcolm, self madeentrepreneur, women advocate and
life balance expert. Hey,everyone, welcome back to our
(00:35):
next podcast. I'm JenniferMalcolm with Jennasis and
Associates. And this podcast,Jennasis Speaks The
Transformative Power of Women'sStories where every woman has a
story and every story matters.
Today with me is risko. waits,who is also on the Jennasis and
Associates team. It's beenseveral years riskier as a BW
Baldwin Wallace Universityintern. And she was in a team of
(00:58):
five. And we knew when we hiredfive interns, there would
probably be one that would stickwith us and want to stick with
us. We identified to be on ourteam culture, availability,
desire and risk. Oh, is thatone? I think you've been on the
team now. Two and a half years.
Rizpah Waytes (01:19):
Yeah.
Jennifer Malcolm (01:21):
So I will let you roll and kind of introduce
yourself what your role iswithin Jennasis, what you're
currently doing, and then we'lljust dig into your story.
Rizpah Waytes (01:31):
Yeah, um, so first off, I want to say thank
you for having me. Um, I waslike, shocked and honored. Um,
but really, I've been withJennasis for, like she said, two
and a half years ish. And Istarted out as an intern, typing
up notes, doing organization inGoogle drives. And now I've
(01:55):
worked my way up to being anaccount manager, and project
manager and analytics expert,and all the things on the back
end to which has been amazing.
I've been able to find my voicein talking to clients and
customers through working withJennasis to which has been
amazing. But today, I'm reallykind of here to talk about to
(02:18):
have like an open conversationwith Jenn and anybody else who's
listening about my story, alittle individual, just in
general, and with this limitedsocial era that we're in right
now. So yeah,
Jennifer Malcolm (02:41):
Well, welcome.
We're really excited. And it'sfunny because it's, it's been
amazing to see you as you're inyour senior year of college. And
then really just being the gruntperson behind the scenes being
the glue that holds thingstogether. And then really kind
of coming into your own spaceand using your voice. And you
just said that a little bit ago,but using your voice to say, and
(03:03):
this is how we created ourculture, be very assertive to
say, I really love this, I thinkI might like to do this. And I
don't like to do that. We're nowwith the analytics and just
being there for customers andbeing a face to customers, how
the growth you've had just intwo quick years, so. But thank
you for being willing to shareyour story today. I know, the
(03:24):
last month in light ofeverything that's going on
throughout the nation, and evenlocally here in Cleveland, Ohio,
has affected you personally. Idon't know if it's affected you
professionally, but just wantedto kind of you know, you're a
young woman who's thriving in abusiness community. But feeling
(03:44):
some of the stuff that's goingon locally and nationally. And
just wanted to hear you know,about your upbringing. What got
you here today, and we'll gofrom there.
Rizpah Waytes (03:57):
Yeah.
Jennifer Malcolm (03:57):
All right.
Rizpah Waytes (03:59):
Um, so really, I mean, there's nothing super
special about my upbringing. I'mvery lucky and blessed with my
parents. My mom was she workedfull time, but she always made
came home. around like four, soshe was always home. My dad was
a stay at home dad went to bed.
Jennifer Malcolm (04:22):
I didn't know that. That's awesome.
Rizpah Waytes (04:23):
Yeah, it was kind of reverse. So my mom was great.
She was an executive directorfor a local agency. And yeah, my
dad coached basketball. So hewould be at home and then I
would go to practice with him Ifmy mom was at home. And we I was
just very blessed. I've been inthe same home since I was
(04:43):
brought home from the hospital.
Jennifer Malcolm (04:44):
Wow.
Rizpah Waytes (04:47):
And we always, like we were in a very fortunate
position, just in life, like wewere able to travel almost every
summer, which is how I've beenable to travel as much as I Like
we would always go on roadtrips, train trips.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:02):
Are you an only child?
Rizpah Waytes (05:04):
Yes, I am. Yep.
Um, so that was also fortunatebecause if there were more kids,
we might not have been able to.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:10):
Exactly.
Rizpah Waytes (05:12):
So we did.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:13):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (05:14):
Um, but yeah, I mean, I was I'm very blessed
with how I was raised awesome.
Really, like, never occurred tome that my parents, marital
status was any different thananybody else's. I always saw
them. And I'm like, these aretwo people that love each other.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:37):
Absolutely.
Rizpah Waytes (05:38):
He my friend's parents are like, those are two
people that love each other.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:41):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (05:42):
Like, it was never like, I never thought
twice about it.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:45):
Sure.
So what's the one thing thenthat most people really don't
know about? You?
Rizpah Waytes (05:51):
Um,I mean, the one thing that people don't know
about me is that I'm biracial. Imean, my mom is British,
Italian. Her mom came over fromEngland at World War Two,she met
my grandpa, and then they movedhere together. But my dad is
(06:12):
African American. And look atme, you don't notice that, which
is nobody's fault. It's notokay. Well. People make
assumptions. And yeah, I mean,that's the one thing that people
don't know about me waving rightnow my hair is straight. But
naturally, I have super curlyhair. And like, sometimes that
(06:34):
could be a giveaway, but notreally,
Jennifer Malcolm (06:36):
Right. Well, we were talking in our prep for
today's show, and you were onthe team for a long time. And
you got hired, there was, Ithink, five interns and
interviewed and we hired fiveinterns. But until we became
Facebook friends, and I sawpictures, it was Father's Day,
or just family pictures, I hadno clue. So your appearance is
(06:58):
very Caucasian. And again, youstraighten your hair. And if you
would you most people would notknow that you are being
biracial. And I'm sure thatcomes with a lot of mixed
emotions. And a lot of thingsthat you have to navigate in a
very loving, secure family, thatother individuals, whether
(07:22):
they're, you know, to AfricanAmericans to Caucasians to have
anything that, that you dodifferently and have different,
you know, experiences. So, sogive us some examples of some of
the struggles or some stories,that because some people might
be listening to this of like,Alright, what's so important
about that story, and the wholeessence of the podcast here is
(07:45):
that every woman has a story,and every story matters, and
your story is going to connectwith other biracial women, men,
kids, adults, that they went, Ifind I'm finally hearing some of
the pain points that I've dealtwith in my heart or
misunderstandings. And so giveus some examples of what you've
(08:06):
walked through in life.
Rizpah Waytes (08:07):
Yeah, and I mean, before I like talk about some of
my things, I just want to, like,be upfront and say, like, this
is just what I've been through,like, this is my, this is what
causes me stress or causes me tothink or obsess about something,
or that hurts my feelings. Andsome people might be in the same
(08:27):
situation. And I don't careabout this, or like, I This
doesn't impact me. But, I mean,this is what I've gone through.
And this is stuff that affectsmy life.
Jennifer Malcolm (08:37):
Absolutely.
Rizpah Waytes (08:38):
I still think it's a valid conversation to
have and information to share.
So absolutely
Jennifer Malcolm (08:45):
No, absolutely. And that's the part
of our story capturing we aregoing to hit things that
identify with people in similarstories and other people. It's
not going to resonate, andthat's okay, because we're not
trying to hit the masses onevery story. We're trying to hit
the few that bring courage andvoice and healing through that
(09:08):
and bring community so the partof stories is it brings people
together and honored that you'rewilling to share your story
today. Yeah. Awesome.
Rizpah Waytes (09:19):
So I guess the first one that comes to mind and
that I always, like, I'll bringup to people when they ask me
about how it I like to like tobe biracial. The easiest thing
for me to explain that iswhenever like on a test or a
survey, or even like at thedoctor's office, when you have
(09:39):
your baseline questionnaire,they ask what your race is they
ask you to identify. And in somecases, I just don't know if
that's really necessary, butit's always on the document.
Jennifer Malcolm (09:51):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (09:52):
By they'll give you the list all the races and
it's check whichever oneapplies.
Jennifer Malcolm (09:59):
One.
Rizpah Waytes (10:00):
right, yeah.
Always one, right. And in somecases, what really grinds my
gears? Because that's not another for a mixed? Yeah, one
that applies to you, and go tothe next question. And countless
times I have to just sit andlook at that, because it's like,
(10:21):
well, which parent am Ichoosing?
Jennifer Malcolm (10:26):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (10:27):
And then I pick one over the other. I was that
going to impact them?
Jennifer Malcolm (10:32):
Sure.
Rizpah Waytes (10:33):
So I literally I, when I take those, sometimes I
just have to sit, because youhave to it's I'm being dramatic.
Sometimes I think I'm beingdramatic about it. But that's
how it feels like I have to picka parent, which parent Am I
going to represent today?
Jennifer Malcolm (10:50):
Wow. Which is interesting. Because as a
Caucasian woman, that's probablythe easiest like Jennifer
Malcolm, next one Caucasian keepgoing, like, for a lot of people
is just, you know, check markand keep going. And there's a
question here that usually oneof the first top questions in a
questionnaire and you it bringsyou pause and frozen of feeling
(11:12):
like I have to pick a parent.
And that's, that's crazy. Allright. So keep going.
Rizpah Waytes (11:19):
Yeah. So another instance, kind of in the same
realm, is, I got into a caraccident earlier this year,
everything's fine. No worries.
cars in the shop.
Jennifer Malcolm (11:31):
I remember that call.
Yes. I do. Remember that call.
Rizpah Waytes (11:35):
And naturally, when you get in a car accident,
you'd have to get a ticket, likeyou get whenever like, um, but
and when I got my ticket, I likelooked at it. And I was like,
the first thing was like, theprice and I was like, Oh, great.
So I take it home. And it's justsitting on my table, because I
didn't want to deal with it. Iwas stressed out about the, my
(11:57):
dad comes in, and he looks atthe ticket. And he like, looks
at it. And he like I thought hewas gonna get mad at me for
like, right, and for getting inan accident. And instead, he
looks at me. And he was like,Did you tell them that you were
only white? And I was like, Whatare you talking about? Like, he
didn't even ask me at all. Andhe was like, you know, they
(12:19):
signify your race on yourticket. I was like, I literally
had no idea. And he told me likewhere I needed to sign and he
sent me on my way. And he waslike, well, he marked that
you're white. I'm here. And Ilike sat there. And I looked at
it. And I was like, I was likehow like, I was like That's so
(12:41):
rude.
Jennifer Malcolm (12:42):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (12:43):
And he was making assumptions. And then like, we
were talking about it, and hedidn't he didn't outright say
that he was upset. But hismannerisms and his voice like,
he could hear that he was upsetthat I was right. Or even he I
think initially he thought thatI said that I was well,
Jennifer Malcolm (13:03):
I'm sure the initial reaction is when he sees
that that you are asked orsomething and you identified and
so I'm sure there's some hurt orhurt feelings, or I mean, I know
with my kids things that theysay that I'm like, ouch. And
like I wasn't meaning to hurtyou. And I was like, I know, but
it still hurts. There's thingsthat are said and done. So I'm
sure in that situation, you'reshaken up from the accident. Now
(13:25):
you have a ticket. Now you havemoney, you have to worry about
all this, you know, am I okay?
Physically car, etc. And nowthere's an emotional level of
dealing with your dad's andrightfully so dealing with your
dad's emotions of someone whojust made an assumption.
Rizpah Waytes (13:41):
Because I had no idea like, like I said, when I
got that ticket, I looked atshowed it to me Show me where
signing and go and like when Igot in the car, the first like,
all I looked at was if it toldme how much my tickets were
Jennifer Malcolm (13:54):
Absolutely, or which court system you have to
go to to right.
Rizpah Waytes (13:57):
Exactly. Like I wasn't even looking at Sure. is
like also it didn't occur to methat that would be a thing to
mark on, like your ticket.
Jennifer Malcolm (14:07):
Okay, so question on this, because this
is my naive question. On yourdriver's license. Do does that
have anything? I just curiouscuz I'm like, wondering if, like
how a state ID or if there'ssomething on a state ID that
(14:29):
identifies No. Okay, so I didn'tknow if like, it was a police
officer just pulled from. Idon't know, because I guess I
haven't looked at my driver'slicense that carefully. But
Rizpah Waytes (14:39):
yeah, I'm just looking at it now. And it's just
your sex you identify with yourheight, your weight, and the
color of your hair and youreyes.
Jennifer Malcolm (14:46):
Okay. Yeah. So there's nothing about race on
there. Okay. So he literallytook made an assumption. So it
wasn't like you had something onyour state, the state ID and
Okay, so it's interesting. Sohow did you navigate that with
your dad?
Rizpah Waytes (15:00):
I mean, it was heartbreaking to see that he was
upset about it and like,rightfully so because like, if I
had, like, if I was in hisplace, I would be upset too.
Sure. So I mean, like, we justhad a conversation. Like, that's
not like he just asked me hedid, or he didn't even ask me he
just like made an assumption.
It's not something that I wouldsay. And like, it asked me,
like, I would have said that Imixed or I'm biracial.
Jennifer Malcolm (15:25):
Sure,
Rizpah Waytes (15:27):
But like, he didn't even ask me, so I kind of
brushed it off, but we haven'treally talked about it. Yes.
This was at the beginning of2020. So it's a little bit and
it's just, I think there'ssomething that he's come to
understand is going to happenwhen.
Jennifer Malcolm (15:48):
And I think there's I mean, it's part of me
because I do know you there's aprobably a part of you that
wants to apologize for somethingthat you have no control of you
didn't do you didn't speak intosomeone else's assumption or
misunderstanding oridentification of who they
thought you were caused, youknow, emotional turmoil between
you and your dad. And I knowthat that's nothing intentional.
(16:12):
But there's that layer of stressemotionality, that through
people's ignorance or lack ofquestion asking, you know, puts
your heart Your dad's heart,your mom's heart in a space of
hurt, and that that isn't fun aswell.
Rizpah Waytes (16:32):
Like it could have just been avoided if you
just like, ask the question,like, can you ask me for my ID
he asked me, like, if this wasmy car, like he asked me all the
best. Yeah, when my car wasmade, but that would have been
one more question that he couldhave asked.
Jennifer Malcolm (16:50):
Absolutely.
So So what is the correctanswer? So when you get asked,
you know, what race? Are you? Isbiracial? Like, what is the
correct terminology?
Rizpah Waytes (17:01):
I mean, I just go for I'm mixed. And then like,
I'll be like, my dad's black andmy mom. All right. Wait. I mean,
probably like
Jennifer Malcolm (17:11):
The ratio can be a lot of different. You know,
my, my niece is biracial. Andshe's half Filipino, half
Caucasian. So I didn't know ifthere was, I don't know what to
say
Rizpah Waytes (17:21):
I usually just say I'm mixed.
Jennifer Malcolm (17:27):
So when people identify you, so obviously
you're dealing you've sharedwith dealing with filling out a
form that is very, very mundanefor most people, a lot of
people, but causes you to pauseand really reflect of picking a
parent being misidentified byindividuals, because your
(17:47):
parents, especially when they'restraight here comes across as
Caucasian. How does it affectyou beyond the example with your
dad? Like, how does it affectyour mental health? Your
emotionality? Yeah, like howdoes it make you feel when,
because some people will say,and some people who may listen
(18:08):
to some, like, it's really notthat big of a deal, I just
clear, you know, clearlyidentify and then move on. But
for others, it really impactsSo, you know, how does it affect
you?
Rizpah Waytes (18:18):
Um, I mean, to bring up what's going on, like,
publicly or not publicly, butjust like in the world right
now, with our social justiceissues and protests and doing
things. For me, what comes upfor me the most is, I, I'm very
(18:38):
passionate about these issues.
And not about them. Because, Imean, if I take a step back and
just look at it, like any ofthese black men that are getting
wrongly accused, and injured orshot like, that could be my dad,
that could be my uncle, thatcould literally be any of my
family. Sure. And so I'm verypassionate, and I have, like, I
(19:01):
have a lot of fire in my heartaround that issue. But I have
and still have a really bigissue and struggle around
speaking up about it because,like, I don't necessarily look
like I should be fired.
Jennifer Malcolm (19:20):
Or that that you may be people may assume,
like, what what's your right tospeak up about it?
Rizpah Waytes (19:33):
racial issues that black individuals are
dealing with, like what do youknow about x, y, and z? And it's
like, just like, so that's kindof where it causes me a lot of
stress. Okay. It's just hard tovocalize when I know that
there's going to be so manypeople that come back and be
(19:54):
like, Well, what do you know?
Jennifer Malcolm (19:55):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (19:56):
I know a lot more than you think. But you're not
going to ask me And if they doask you, it's more so probably
in an accusatory manner than ina kind hearted, like, Hey, you
know, I see that you'repassionate about this, do you
want to share more? versusreally like pointing the finger?
And who are you to, you know,show voice or position in this,
(20:17):
you know, arena.
Even shared just today actually,before we got on this call, I
shared something, somebodyshared it on Instagram, about
microaggressions and differentphrases that you don't
necessarily know, that are beingaggressive, or they're not
intended to be offensive, butare taken by a person that
(20:41):
you're directing them to in avery harmful way. So there is
the one that you're so tan, oryou look just like, more fat,
really, you're not really thatblack or calling Oreo. Like,
it's like that, that people justthink that they're just like,
Oh, it's just the phrase like,yeah, it's not really a thing.
(21:02):
But people say those things tome. And you don't understand how
it affects
Jennifer Malcolm (21:09):
absolutely, even the so I'll say the story
for my sister. So like I said,my, my brother in law is
Filipino. And he's, in thesummer, he's got really, really
dark skin. And you've met myniece, kailyn and Judah, and,
you know, they look moreFilipino than white. But I
remember when my sister starteddating, my brother in law, Jake,
(21:31):
and she, they, she introducedhim to my grandparents. And my
grandmother, his response was,wow, your skin is dark. And my
sister was mortified. Like,like, you know, in, you know,
there was a lot of racialtensions that grew. My
grandparents grew up in southernKentucky where racism was very
prevalent. But she, mygrandmother knew, as soon as she
(21:55):
spoke those words, like, mysister was mortified. And you
know, she covered up with like,I wish I had a tan like you, but
it doesn't make the stain goaway.
You know, the things that peoplesay that. That there, they say
is not harmful, or it's just,you know, have thick skin type
scenario, like those reallystink, because that really is
(22:16):
your identity. It's who you areas a woman, and your womanhood
has an African American father,and, you know, a white mom. And
that's who you are. And that'sthe beauty of who you are, and
who God created you to be or auniverse higher power, whoever
you want to say. And that's thebeauty of it. And so, for
someone to make small comments,you know, that hurt, and, you
(22:40):
know, the, they always say theword, the phrase, you know,
sticks and stones may break yourbones, but words will never hurt
me is a complete fallacy.
Because six scrapes, the scrapesand bruises will go away. It's
the heart. It's the heartsthings that take time to heal
and to you know, break through.
So. So how did you react onInstagram, when you saw that
today?
Rizpah Waytes (23:00):
When I saw that, I was like, because I know the
person that created it was aperson of color, like, and I got
those things like I totally seehow those can be aggressive and
hurtful. And then I sat back andI was like, oh said those things
to me. Like, you're not reallythat black, so you don't really
(23:21):
count.
Jennifer Malcolm (23:22):
Wow.
Rizpah Waytes (23:23):
And it's like, when people say that to me, and
that's kind of the reason why Ihaven't really spoken out about
these things is because I knowpeople are going to come at me
and use it to devalue what Ihave to stay.
Jennifer Malcolm (23:37):
Sure.
Rizpah Waytes (23:38):
And I mean, that's why I shared it. And I
was and I, like I said, I waslike this is so important.
Because like saying these thingsdoes not mean that what I have
to say isn't valid. Absolutely.
So it it really struck a chordwith me when I saw that I was
like, yeah, people say thosethings to me too. And I'm a
(23:58):
white passing individual.
Jennifer Malcolm (24:01):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (24:02):
So and when I shared it, I've had a couple of
my friends and one individualthat I know that she's also
mixed, but her mother is blackand her father's white shows she
is much darker. Okay? Heresponded to my story, and was
like, thank you for sharingthis. This is so important
(24:24):
because I'm going through thesame thing, right? And so it's
just I wish people like thoughtabout how he thought about what
they said all the time bothinstances like this. Like it's
so like, you don't know howheavy your words will weigh on
somebody.
Jennifer Malcolm (24:45):
Right and then in with everything, you know,
it's been going on in the nationand then Cleveland the last four
weeks, and the black livesmatter how important that is, is
extremely important. And thenyou know, the bigger you know,
world That is all lives matter,all voices matter, all people
matter. And, you know, with thiswomen's empowerment podcast, you
(25:08):
know, we are showcasing womenand women's stories. But it's
not to negate men, it's not tosay that women are better than
men, it's just giving a platformfor women to have their voice.
And the beauty of your voice isgoing to be that you're going to
be this in between or bridge,that you're going to be bridging
the gap that most people can't,or don't understand. But that
(25:29):
you'll be able to reallyidentify with both cultures,
both sides have deep compassionon both elements of that. And
obviously, your friend isalready you know, saying like,
Hey, this is important. Andwe're there's two, there was one
others too, you know, all ittakes us then four, then eight,
and in the art ofmultiplication, and to really
(25:54):
have that courage to say, I,this is who I am. And be proud
of, you know, who God createdyou to be. So yeah, that's,
that's it's weird, because wegrew up in the same city of
Cleveland, Ohio. And thedifference of stories.
(26:15):
Obviously, I'm quite a bit olderthan you. But the difference of
stories is just amazing. So tellme like growing up with your
family, and, you know, havingwas it segregated? Was it
together? Were you no parent?
Did your parents besides thefamily do things together? How
has that grown up?
Rizpah Waytes (26:36):
Yeah, I mean, it was always, and I think that's
the reason that I alwaysquestioned why people look at my
family any different, because tome, there was ever any, like,
divide, like, ever. I havepictures from like my
christening, when I was like,just Sure. Both sides of the
(26:58):
family black and white. wasn'tjust like, wasn't even like
everyone was at the same party.
But they were sitting.
Jennifer Malcolm (27:05):
Right.
Everybody was family, right?
That's what families, right?
Rizpah Waytes (27:09):
My family was always awesome. together. So
like when people like when I gotolder and learned that not
everybody is like this, or thatpeople are gonna look at me
different. Like it ever occurredto me when I was younger,
because it's always just how itwas when we had just the fact
that they don't know any better.
Jennifer Malcolm (27:28):
No and that was your normal. And the bottom
line is that you were in a veryloving, kind home. And you were
blessed with two parents who notonly loved each other deeply,
but loved you and raised youthat that's the part of it that
mattered is that you were afamily unit that love thrived.
(27:52):
And there was no looking at, youknow, you didn't know any
different. It was normal. And soas you grow, how was it for
school? Like? We're like, Idon't know what school district
you were in. But was your schoolmore white than African
American? Or was it mixed? Ordid you do like, when did you
(28:13):
feel like the tension was atcollege that you started feeling
this tension? Was it in highschool was an early on?
Rizpah Waytes (28:21):
Um, I mean, looking back in my I'm thinking
of like, my school yearbooks,like here, um, it was definitely
white predominant. But I mean,there were still, like,
minorities in my classes, like,there were still Hispanic,
African American, NativeAmerican individuals in my
(28:45):
classes. So that was, but like Isaid, it was generally quite
common. But I don't know ifthere was, I can't I don't
identify a specific period in mylife when I was like, Oh, I'm
different than other people. Um,because, like, my dad coached
(29:07):
basketball, and he like he didall age groups. And he's very
respected, like statechampionships and all the things
so he was a respectedindividual. So people didn't
like people treated him withrespect. When I saw him like I
practices and games and thingsso it really didn't occur to me
(29:29):
until I'm trying to think I wantto say it was around Middle
School. When I started wearingmy hair, just like doing my own
thing people would, like, throwthings in my hair to see if we
(29:51):
would stay because my hair whenI was younger, my hair was
really curly.
Jennifer Malcolm (29:55):
Wow.
Rizpah Waytes (29:55):
Um, people would throw things in my hair to see
if it would stick or if it wasDay. And I was like, Well,
nobody really that looks like mehas hair like me. So like, I
wonder, I wonder why. And sothen, like, when we travel a
lot, that I noticed I started asI got older, I started to pick
(30:18):
up on that, like when we wouldgo into. So I don't know how to
phrase this, but like not sodeveloped. The not even states,
just like areas across thecountry that were generally
quite predominant areas we wouldget looks, right. And like, my
(30:41):
dad, like we would drive pastcertain gas stations and go to
specific ones. And why are wedoing that? And well, now that
I'm older, I understand that,like, my dad didn't feel like
that was a safe place. You know,no,
Jennifer Malcolm (30:57):
No. And again, like, I know, my, my niece and
nephews experience are verydifferent than yours. But when
they travel, they do the samething. Like they're very
cognizant that a biracialmarriage in a lot. They're in
Columbus, Ohio, it's very, very,very accepted in Columbus. But
when they travel, there's a lotof areas that they're in and out
(31:20):
because they don't feelcomfortable people are staring.
And my sister is very blonde andshort. And you know, she's with
black hair, dark skinnedindividuals, and they feel that
tension as well. But soobviously, from an early age, at
least, even if you didn'tcognitively know all the whys,
looking back, I'm sure you sawwhere your dad was wanting to
(31:42):
protect you.
Rizpah Waytes (31:43):
Yeah, looking back now I'm, like, I can see
things that like my younger selfwouldn't have noticed, because
I'm not naive, just like,everybody like, this is no
different. But now looking back,I'm just like, oh, okay, so some
of these people had someprejudice towards my situation.
Jennifer Malcolm (32:09):
Over the last month, there's been a lot of
riots and tension. And with therecent turmoil, in response to
George Floyd's death, how hasthat impacted you? Or your
household? I'm sure that there'san advocacy in your heart and a
(32:32):
protectiveness, and again, thatstigma of you know, who are you?
You? You know, look white, youknow, what, right, or voice do
you have? So, kind of walk methrough what you've gone through
personally, and maybe betweenyou and your parents? Or the
last, you know, three to fiveweeks?
Rizpah Waytes (32:53):
Yeah. Um, so I like many people, um, I saw a
video of what happened duringGeorge Floyd's arrest. And I, I
sat there and I watched it,like, the guided like, I didn't
(33:14):
start crying. I didn't doanything. I was just like
watching and i was in shock. Iwas in pure shock. And then I
like put my phone down. And Ijust sat there for a second. And
of course, I was watching thisright before I went to bed. And
I started sobbing, like,hysterically sobbing like
hyperventilating, like, that wasa very ugly cry. Like, I like, I
(33:37):
sat there. And part of me waslike, why am I crying so hard?
Like, from the outside? I waslike, I don't know this man.
Yes, it was a very, it was aserious injustice that happened.
And like, there's going to needto be some serious repercussions
and all the things but like, whyare you crying like that? That
(33:59):
video of I want to say his namewas his name was but he was
jogging and got shot. Like, Iwatched that. And like, I was
outraged and frustrated. And Icalled and texted, and Simon did
all the things. But like I did,I was like, I sat there and I
was like, bawling my eyes out.
And then the next day, I feltnumb. I was, I think, and I now
(34:20):
that I'm looking back and Iprocessed through those
emotions. It was the exact samething that I'm talking about
today. I didn't know how tospeak up. Sure, given what I
look like, right, and I didn'tknow how I could use my voice to
take action, which was reallypart of why I was crying and why
(34:43):
it's still and I'm still feelingit now. Like I felt like I
couldn't take action because Idon't know how like I don't know
how to use my voice. And sosince that happened, I mean,
we've had a lot of conversationsin my household. About what has
happened, what is going on? Um,we are like up, like, we watched
(35:04):
the news in terms of like,what's happening with, like the
officers involved, or thecurrent men and everything, like
we watched, like watch thepublicize funeral and things to
like, we were like, we're stillvery in touch with what's going
on. But it was a, it was a heavyconversation in our household.
(35:31):
Because like I said earlier,like, that could have been my
dad, you know, like, what if hischeck? Didn't clear and the
cashier got concerned? And theycalled the police on my father
like, right? I think that'salso, why about so much. We
write checks all the time,right? It really does the
(35:56):
grocery shopping, right? What ifyou wrote a check that didn't go
through or credit card gotdeclined or something for some
weird reason? Sure. Like?
Jennifer Malcolm (36:12):
So it's almost like a fear paralysis, like
paralysis, that's fear driven,where you want to be an
advocate, and you want to showvoice and you want to show
support. But that paralysis ofyou know, how do I do this,
where my voices heard, and bothsides of this, and again, it
(36:37):
should be one voice throughthis, not a segmented. And I
know, you know, we have a longway to go for that one voice to
be heard, you know, doesn'tmatter the color of skin, but
the one voice to be heard. Butthat paralysis of how do I
express my voice in a mannerthat is powerful, honest,
(37:02):
truthful, gut wrenching, andsafe, all those things where you
want to be heard, and you alsowant to feel safe, and not put
yourself out there in a warmposition? So how did your
parents besides that, like, helpyou navigate? Or is it just
through conversation and timetogether? And?
Rizpah Waytes (37:25):
Yeah, I mean, when, like, the first couple
days of like that videosurfacing and everything like
that, I mean, it was, like,visually apparent that I wasn't
myself. And so my parents, bothmy mom and my dad were very
(37:46):
like, like, really? Feelinglike, Is there anything that we
can do to help? Like, is thereanything we talk about? So both
of them are very, and I hadmultiple conversations with both
of them together and separate,to talk through every,
obviously, even though they'vebeen together for years.
(38:09):
They still have very differentexperience. So that was kind of
how we navigated througheverything. And it was just
helpful because they were there,I knew that they had, they gave
me support, but they gave me thespace to process do it on my own
first before, like, you know.
Jennifer Malcolm (38:34):
So how do you think that this your story of a
mixed heritage has guided? You?
Yeah, how do you feel likethrough this?
Rizpah Waytes (38:46):
I mean, for me, the first thing that I think of
is I don't make assumptions, orI work hard to actively stop
making assumptions, becausewe're all humans, like, you're
looking at somebody and you'regonna make that first second
assumption about somebody butlike, I work really hard
internally. And stop that firstinclination of wanting to assume
(39:10):
something about somebody.
Because I know how hurtful it isto me instantly. Um, so I mean,
that's the number one thing thatI really try and in not doing,
and that's impacted, how I haveconversations with people and,
um, but really, it's just like,I'm more open to having
(39:33):
conversations with people. I'mjust more open person because
people make assumptions like sohow it works typically is
somebody makes an assumptionabout me, and then they'll say
something all the time, butsometimes people will say
something that is insulting orannoying or not true about
(39:54):
right. Like black people there.
culture or anything like that,and they don't think it bothers
me. Right. Right. Does so meconversation? Sure. Um, but so
I'm really, but my heritageguides my conversations to I
(40:20):
listen to people and I don't sayharmful thing like I don't say
home for things in general butlike having that experience for
years guides how I haveconversations with others.
Jennifer Malcolm (40:35):
No, I love how you worded it when I just wrote
down your heritage guides yourconversation that's powerful.
to, to not make assumptions. Andyes, we are human and we may
react somehow. But it's througha lens of kindness and love and
that love of unconditional anddoesn't mean you have to like
(40:55):
everyone. But that kindness ofdemonstrating love and
understanding that you may notbe in my circle of friends
because of XYZ you may be rude,you may be belligerent, you may
be harmful in other ways. Butcertain aspects of those are
good, healthy boundaries thatare needed in life that we all
need. That's not a that's not aracial thing. That's just a
(41:18):
life, you know, boundary thing.
But kindness I you know, I tellmy kids often, it's not what
you're saying your words aretruth, how you say it, the tone,
you say it in, the intentionsbehind it could be done in a
kinder manner. And I think that,if we're all intentional to own
our assumptions, and thendismiss, like, fluff them off,
(41:39):
get them off of us to seethrough eyes, eyes of love and
kindness. And then, you know,really demonstrating heart of
kindness and words of kindnessthat makes our space and we can
only impact those around us, butreally impacts our space, space
and sphere that when thatbecomes normal, how different,
(42:03):
you know, the world and culturecan be.
Rizpah Waytes (42:08):
And I've even had no what it was that you said
that made me think of this, butI've had in the past couple of
weeks, I've had people that Ihaven't talked to in a while,
where people that I didn't knowhow our relationship was, I've
had so many people reach out tome and ask me how they can
support me and help support themovement and ask about
(42:31):
terminology like is it? How doyou call somebody black? Or do
you call them African American?
Or is it just people? Like I'vehad so many people, multiple
occasions, different channels oninsert are on, like just texting
me. And that has been kind ofreassuring to me to know that
people here know and understandthat I have something to say
(42:55):
about?
Jennifer Malcolm (42:57):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Rizpah Waytes (42:59):
And it's not like, I'm not just speaking?
Jennifer Malcolm (43:03):
Yeah, no, I like it. No, so no, and I love
that. So how do you see yourpath? unwinding? in the future?
Like as you are? Or how wouldyou like to see, you know, maybe
it doesn't quite come out. Butas you're navigating this issue,
you're being a bridge and avoice in this space? You know,
(43:25):
how do you see your path onwinding?
Rizpah Waytes (43:28):
Um, and I mean, that's something that I'm still
trying to figure out. But I'vecome to the conclusion that I'm
not going to be that voicethat's always on Instagram, or
on Facebook, like, going toprotests and sharing all of the
videos and sharing all of theeverything I'm I'm realizing
(43:50):
that that's not me. And I thinkthat's also what's been causing
me a lot of stress the pastcouple of weeks, like the
feeling that I should be doingall the things and showing
everybody because the more Ilook at it, like, I'm starting
to wonder if those people areactually doing the work or
showing that they're doing thework if they're doing activism
(44:12):
or performative activism. So,I've been realizing that just
because I don't post on socialmedia doesn't mean that I'm not
actively doing the work anddoing what I can to make a
difference.
Jennifer Malcolm (44:27):
I love that.
No, I love that because you'regoing to find your space in your
cadence, and whether that's onthe forefront in the protests,
whether that's on social media,whether it's educating, you
know, through your friends,texts, questions, inquiry, and
enlightening those who arecurious and bringing knowledge
(44:49):
to that space. That'sincredible, and everyone's gonna
find their lane. And thatdoesn't mean that your lanes
less than anyone else's lane.
It's just a different lane ofadvocacy and voice and
education. And that's, you know,very, very important.
Rizpah Waytes (45:12):
I think that's what I'm realizing. But just
because I'm not this loud voice,like, in general, regardless of
social media, like doesn't meanthat I'm not moving the needle
in the right direction. Sure, Ihad one single conversation with
one of my friends that didn'tunderstand protests and did not
stand. Like the movement. Andlike, I sat down with them, and
(45:36):
they understood, like, theylistened to me. And they heard
me and they're like, wow, Iguess like, I didn't look at it
that way. Or I was only lookingat it from this side. And, like,
well, don't know that I havethose conversations. So like,
when I do publicly Speak up,there's always one person that's
like, Well, what do you know? orWhy are you choosing to speak up
(45:58):
now, but it's like, I'm doingthe work behind the scenes, but
nobody knows it. But thatdoesn't mean that, like, what
I'm doing is any less importantthan what I do?
Jennifer Malcolm (46:08):
Absolutely.
And, and to piggyback on that,even with this podcast, with the
stories, we're going to besharing with what I'm called to
do and in in empowering women tohave their voice and it's, I'm
gonna get a lot of questions,I'm gonna get a lot of questions
and a lot of accusations of Whoare you. And it gets into that
self doubt of Who am I and myresponse has to be and it's a
(46:31):
mantra, if not me, then who, andI am not going to impact every
woman on the planet. But I'mgoing to have a sphere women
that I greatly influence in thisspace to give voice and
encouragement and freedom andhealing to through these
stories. And, and by positioningthese stories, and you're going
to have that same space, you'regoing to Oh, is gonna we're
(46:53):
always gonna have naysayers,we're always gonna have people
who scrutinize and, and that'sokay. And we have to take those,
and, you know, throw them downand have tenacity to say, you
know, this is who I am. This iswho I want to be who here's what
I'm called to be, here's a placethat I have a voice and power
and position and, and move itthat way. So, no. So you have to
(47:16):
you have to do the same thing.
Because if you go by the onenaysayer, or the 10 naysayers
out of the hundred, you know,you'll be paralyzed. And you
know, you're called to really bean advocate and a voice and in
this space as well.
Rizpah Waytes (47:30):
Yeah. And I think that's what I've been doing.
Like I've, there's been a couplepeople that have told me in my
past that what I have to say,isn't valid, and I've carry that
with me. But that I can. For me,I what I think a lot of people
have been coming to me andasking me these questions is
because them in their eyes, I'mmore approachable to them, which
(47:53):
I'm like, sure. But they'recoming to me and asking me these
questions to help betterunderstand and I, at first, I
was like, why are they asking melike, there's so many thought
leaders, like black women ofcolor, and many individuals
really that are coming out andexplaining and teaching and
(48:13):
understanding. But to somepeople, that might be
uncomfortable. Sure. For somepeople, I look like them right?
Outside, I look like them. Soit's easier to have those
conversations. Interesting. No,that's very interesting what
I've been, it sounds kind ofcrappy to say, but that's how
I'm noticing some people, like,notice people circles and who
(48:37):
they will come to, you know, andlike for some people, I'm the
most diverse friend they have.
Sure. Sure. Oh, I'm the closestperson to them to be able to
have these questions and theseconversations with and I'm
realizing that that's, that'sokay.
Jennifer Malcolm (48:57):
No, it is.
Okay. So I have a few closingquestions for you. And we can do
these a little faster. But whatinspires you?
Rizpah Waytes (49:08):
Um, I guess what inspires me really is people
being their authentic selves.
You know, like, that's somethingthat I've been really working on
and inspires me when I see otherindividuals or other and it
doesn't even have to be aperson. It can be a brand, it
can be a musician, it can beanything really true to their
authentic selves. I'm like, wow.
(49:31):
Like, I love that and I want toaspire to be like that.
Jennifer Malcolm (49:34):
That's awesome. All right. So I'll
piggyback on that one. Whoinspires you? Is there a person
in your life that inspires you?
Whether it's a famous author,speaker, musician, or family
member friend who inspires you?
Rizpah Waytes (49:50):
Mmm hmm. I mean, obviously, like there's a couple
people that come to mind likethe first one is obviously you
Like, the thought of thisconversation, it's my parents,
you know, II have, they'vestayed true to themselves.
they've stayed true to their,like their marriage and their
love for each other, despite allof the obstacles and things that
(50:15):
have been thrown their way. Oh,those who really, really, truly
inspire me. I love it made itthey stayed true.
Jennifer Malcolm (50:26):
Absolutely. I love it. What's a dream in your
heart that you want to dosomeday?
Rizpah Waytes (50:32):
Um, I, the first thing that comes to mind is I
want to, it kind of goes alongwith what we've been talking
about today, too. I want to beable to speak and confidently no
matter what it's about, youknow, like, I really want to
(50:54):
stop caring about the point 3%that you're going to have an
issue with it, or the fivepeople that are going to be
upset and outraged with what Ihave to say. Regardless if it's
like a social injustice, or justlike in general, like I want to
stop second guessing myself.
Jennifer Malcolm (51:13):
I love it.
What do you do to decompressyourself? exercise, sing, run,
dance scream? What do you do?
Rizpah Waytes (51:22):
Dance? teach dance. So whenever I get
stressed out, yeah, you danceclass, love it. In your body.
Yeah. And so I'm moving. But I'malso working with kids. And
teaching them and working withthem. And they just like, you,
(51:42):
when you're teaching kids, youcan't go in with all of the
external baggage that you havegoing on. Like you drop that at
the door, you come in, ready forthese kids so and even like on
my own, if I don't have class,I'll just turn on music and
like, I'll just move around, andI'll clean my room or so.
Jennifer Malcolm (51:59):
Yeah, I love it. I love it.
So any other thoughts, storiesthat you want to share before we
close this out? Um,
Rizpah Waytes (52:07):
I mean, the only thing that I would want to say
is, I mean, you don't even haveto like this isn't something
just for my mixture, biracialpeople out there, it's like
literally anybody, like, Don'tthink that your story or what
you have to say is invalid justbecause of like, the way you
(52:28):
look or the way you speak orwhatever like your story has, or
you're not even your story, yourstatement has value just because
it comes from you. That'ssomething that I'm still working
on. But I think is important forpeople to hear.
Jennifer Malcolm (52:48):
Well, thank you so much for taking time this
afternoon. I know that you werenervous and excited at the same
time, and that you were willingto talk about something that
obviously is very prevalent inour nation right now, but has
the it's an ongoing, you know,issue and that you had the
courage to come on and shareyour story. Because, again, it's
(53:12):
your story and your storymatters. And it's going to
empower other women, other menwho hear this in a biracial
situation that who knows Oh,sure, start your own movement of
being the bridge between sometwo races. So thank you so much
(53:32):
for your time. And we're lookingforward to seeing you next time
and the next podcast and staytuned. We will put social media
out there. If you want to haveany further questions for me or
for Rizpah, we'd love to hearyour feedback, your stories,
your questions and keep thisreally important conversation at
the forefront. But we're here tosupport. So please reach out to
(53:57):
us with any questions orfeedback on us. So thanks again,
and subscribe to the JennasisMovement to empower women's
voices and reclaim the powerover your own narrative.
Welcome to the Jennasis Speaks podcast, The
Transformative Power of Women'sStories, a platform that
empowers women storytelling, topromote collective
vulnerability, acceptance andhealing. I am your host,
Jennifer Malcolm, self madeentrepreneur, women advocate and
life balance expert. Hey,everyone, welcome back to our
(00:35):
next podcast. I'm JenniferMalcolm with Jennasis and
Associates. And this podcast,Jennasis Speaks The
Transformative Power of Women'sStories where every woman has a
story and every story matters.
Today with me is risko. waits,who is also on the Jennasis and
Associates team. It's beenseveral years riskier as a BW
Baldwin Wallace Universityintern. And she was in a team of
(00:58):
five. And we knew when we hiredfive interns, there would
probably be one that would stickwith us and want to stick with
us. We identified to be on ourteam culture, availability,
desire and risk. Oh, is thatone? I think you've been on the
team now. Two and a half years.
Rizpah Waytes (01:19):
Yeah.
Jennifer Malcolm (01:21):
So I will let you roll and kind of introduce
yourself what your role iswithin Jennasis, what you're
currently doing, and then we'lljust dig into your story.
Rizpah Waytes (01:31):
Yeah, um, so first off, I want to say thank
you for having me. Um, I waslike, shocked and honored. Um,
but really, I've been withJennasis for, like she said, two
and a half years ish. And Istarted out as an intern, typing
up notes, doing organization inGoogle drives. And now I've
(01:55):
worked my way up to being anaccount manager, and project
manager and analytics expert,and all the things on the back
end to which has been amazing.
I've been able to find my voicein talking to clients and
customers through working withJennasis to which has been
amazing. But today, I'm reallykind of here to talk about to
(02:18):
have like an open conversationwith Jenn and anybody else who's
listening about my story, alittle individual, just in
general, and with this limitedsocial era that we're in right
now. So yeah,
Jennifer Malcolm (02:41):
Well, welcome.
We're really excited. And it'sfunny because it's, it's been
amazing to see you as you're inyour senior year of college. And
then really just being the gruntperson behind the scenes being
the glue that holds thingstogether. And then really kind
of coming into your own spaceand using your voice. And you
just said that a little bit ago,but using your voice to say, and
(03:03):
this is how we created ourculture, be very assertive to
say, I really love this, I thinkI might like to do this. And I
don't like to do that. We're nowwith the analytics and just
being there for customers andbeing a face to customers, how
the growth you've had just intwo quick years, so. But thank
you for being willing to shareyour story today. I know, the
(03:24):
last month in light ofeverything that's going on
throughout the nation, and evenlocally here in Cleveland, Ohio,
has affected you personally. Idon't know if it's affected you
professionally, but just wantedto kind of you know, you're a
young woman who's thriving in abusiness community. But feeling
(03:44):
some of the stuff that's goingon locally and nationally. And
just wanted to hear you know,about your upbringing. What got
you here today, and we'll gofrom there.
Rizpah Waytes (03:57):
Yeah.
Jennifer Malcolm (03:57):
All right.
Rizpah Waytes (03:59):
Um, so really, I mean, there's nothing super
special about my upbringing. I'mvery lucky and blessed with my
parents. My mom was she workedfull time, but she always made
came home. around like four, soshe was always home. My dad was
a stay at home dad went to bed.
Jennifer Malcolm (04:22):
I didn't know that. That's awesome.
Rizpah Waytes (04:23):
Yeah, it was kind of reverse. So my mom was great.
She was an executive directorfor a local agency. And yeah, my
dad coached basketball. So hewould be at home and then I
would go to practice with him Ifmy mom was at home. And we I was
just very blessed. I've been inthe same home since I was
(04:43):
brought home from the hospital.
Jennifer Malcolm (04:44):
Wow.
Rizpah Waytes (04:47):
And we always, like we were in a very fortunate
position, just in life, like wewere able to travel almost every
summer, which is how I've beenable to travel as much as I Like
we would always go on roadtrips, train trips.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:02):
Are you an only child?
Rizpah Waytes (05:04):
Yes, I am. Yep.
Um, so that was also fortunatebecause if there were more kids,
we might not have been able to.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:10):
Exactly.
Rizpah Waytes (05:12):
So we did.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:13):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (05:14):
Um, but yeah, I mean, I was I'm very blessed
with how I was raised awesome.
Really, like, never occurred tome that my parents, marital
status was any different thananybody else's. I always saw
them. And I'm like, these aretwo people that love each other.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:37):
Absolutely.
Rizpah Waytes (05:38):
He my friend's parents are like, those are two
people that love each other.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:41):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (05:42):
Like, it was never like, I never thought
twice about it.
Jennifer Malcolm (05:45):
Sure.
So what's the one thing thenthat most people really don't
know about? You?
Rizpah Waytes (05:51):
Um,I mean, the one thing that people don't know
about me is that I'm biracial. Imean, my mom is British,
Italian. Her mom came over fromEngland at World War Two,she met
my grandpa, and then they movedhere together. But my dad is
(06:12):
African American. And look atme, you don't notice that, which
is nobody's fault. It's notokay. Well. People make
assumptions. And yeah, I mean,that's the one thing that people
don't know about me waving rightnow my hair is straight. But
naturally, I have super curlyhair. And like, sometimes that
(06:34):
could be a giveaway, but notreally,
Jennifer Malcolm (06:36):
Right. Well, we were talking in our prep for
today's show, and you were onthe team for a long time. And
you got hired, there was, Ithink, five interns and
interviewed and we hired fiveinterns. But until we became
Facebook friends, and I sawpictures, it was Father's Day,
or just family pictures, I hadno clue. So your appearance is
(06:58):
very Caucasian. And again, youstraighten your hair. And if you
would you most people would notknow that you are being
biracial. And I'm sure thatcomes with a lot of mixed
emotions. And a lot of thingsthat you have to navigate in a
very loving, secure family, thatother individuals, whether
(07:22):
they're, you know, to AfricanAmericans to Caucasians to have
anything that, that you dodifferently and have different,
you know, experiences. So, sogive us some examples of some of
the struggles or some stories,that because some people might
be listening to this of like,Alright, what's so important
about that story, and the wholeessence of the podcast here is
(07:45):
that every woman has a story,and every story matters, and
your story is going to connectwith other biracial women, men,
kids, adults, that they went, Ifind I'm finally hearing some of
the pain points that I've dealtwith in my heart or
misunderstandings. And so giveus some examples of what you've
(08:06):
walked through in life.
Rizpah Waytes (08:07):
Yeah, and I mean, before I like talk about some of
my things, I just want to, like,be upfront and say, like, this
is just what I've been through,like, this is my, this is what
causes me stress or causes me tothink or obsess about something,
or that hurts my feelings. Andsome people might be in the same
(08:27):
situation. And I don't careabout this, or like, I This
doesn't impact me. But, I mean,this is what I've gone through.
And this is stuff that affectsmy life.
Jennifer Malcolm (08:37):
Absolutely.
Rizpah Waytes (08:38):
I still think it's a valid conversation to
have and information to share.
So absolutely
Jennifer Malcolm (08:45):
No, absolutely. And that's the part
of our story capturing we aregoing to hit things that
identify with people in similarstories and other people. It's
not going to resonate, andthat's okay, because we're not
trying to hit the masses onevery story. We're trying to hit
the few that bring courage andvoice and healing through that
(09:08):
and bring community so the partof stories is it brings people
together and honored that you'rewilling to share your story
today. Yeah. Awesome.
Rizpah Waytes (09:19):
So I guess the first one that comes to mind and
that I always, like, I'll bringup to people when they ask me
about how it I like to like tobe biracial. The easiest thing
for me to explain that iswhenever like on a test or a
survey, or even like at thedoctor's office, when you have
(09:39):
your baseline questionnaire,they ask what your race is they
ask you to identify. And in somecases, I just don't know if
that's really necessary, butit's always on the document.
Jennifer Malcolm (09:51):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (09:52):
By they'll give you the list all the races and
it's check whichever oneapplies.
Jennifer Malcolm (09:59):
One.
Rizpah Waytes (10:00):
right, yeah.
Always one, right. And in somecases, what really grinds my
gears? Because that's not another for a mixed? Yeah, one
that applies to you, and go tothe next question. And countless
times I have to just sit andlook at that, because it's like,
(10:21):
well, which parent am Ichoosing?
Jennifer Malcolm (10:26):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (10:27):
And then I pick one over the other. I was that
going to impact them?
Jennifer Malcolm (10:32):
Sure.
Rizpah Waytes (10:33):
So I literally I, when I take those, sometimes I
just have to sit, because youhave to it's I'm being dramatic.
Sometimes I think I'm beingdramatic about it. But that's
how it feels like I have to picka parent, which parent Am I
going to represent today?
Jennifer Malcolm (10:50):
Wow. Which is interesting. Because as a
Caucasian woman, that's probablythe easiest like Jennifer
Malcolm, next one Caucasian keepgoing, like, for a lot of people
is just, you know, check markand keep going. And there's a
question here that usually oneof the first top questions in a
questionnaire and you it bringsyou pause and frozen of feeling
(11:12):
like I have to pick a parent.
And that's, that's crazy. Allright. So keep going.
Rizpah Waytes (11:19):
Yeah. So another instance, kind of in the same
realm, is, I got into a caraccident earlier this year,
everything's fine. No worries.
cars in the shop.
Jennifer Malcolm (11:31):
I remember that call.
Yes. I do. Remember that call.
Rizpah Waytes (11:35):
And naturally, when you get in a car accident,
you'd have to get a ticket, likeyou get whenever like, um, but
and when I got my ticket, I likelooked at it. And I was like,
the first thing was like, theprice and I was like, Oh, great.
So I take it home. And it's justsitting on my table, because I
didn't want to deal with it. Iwas stressed out about the, my
(11:57):
dad comes in, and he looks atthe ticket. And he like, looks
at it. And he like I thought hewas gonna get mad at me for
like, right, and for getting inan accident. And instead, he
looks at me. And he was like,Did you tell them that you were
only white? And I was like, Whatare you talking about? Like, he
didn't even ask me at all. Andhe was like, you know, they
(12:19):
signify your race on yourticket. I was like, I literally
had no idea. And he told me likewhere I needed to sign and he
sent me on my way. And he waslike, well, he marked that
you're white. I'm here. And Ilike sat there. And I looked at
it. And I was like, I was likehow like, I was like That's so
(12:41):
rude.
Jennifer Malcolm (12:42):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (12:43):
And he was making assumptions. And then like, we
were talking about it, and hedidn't he didn't outright say
that he was upset. But hismannerisms and his voice like,
he could hear that he was upsetthat I was right. Or even he I
think initially he thought thatI said that I was well,
Jennifer Malcolm (13:03):
I'm sure the initial reaction is when he sees
that that you are asked orsomething and you identified and
so I'm sure there's some hurt orhurt feelings, or I mean, I know
with my kids things that theysay that I'm like, ouch. And
like I wasn't meaning to hurtyou. And I was like, I know, but
it still hurts. There's thingsthat are said and done. So I'm
sure in that situation, you'reshaken up from the accident. Now
(13:25):
you have a ticket. Now you havemoney, you have to worry about
all this, you know, am I okay?
Physically car, etc. And nowthere's an emotional level of
dealing with your dad's andrightfully so dealing with your
dad's emotions of someone whojust made an assumption.
Rizpah Waytes (13:41):
Because I had no idea like, like I said, when I
got that ticket, I looked atshowed it to me Show me where
signing and go and like when Igot in the car, the first like,
all I looked at was if it toldme how much my tickets were
Jennifer Malcolm (13:54):
Absolutely, or which court system you have to
go to to right.
Rizpah Waytes (13:57):
Exactly. Like I wasn't even looking at Sure. is
like also it didn't occur to methat that would be a thing to
mark on, like your ticket.
Jennifer Malcolm (14:07):
Okay, so question on this, because this
is my naive question. On yourdriver's license. Do does that
have anything? I just curiouscuz I'm like, wondering if, like
how a state ID or if there'ssomething on a state ID that
(14:29):
identifies No. Okay, so I didn'tknow if like, it was a police
officer just pulled from. Idon't know, because I guess I
haven't looked at my driver'slicense that carefully. But
Rizpah Waytes (14:39):
yeah, I'm just looking at it now. And it's just
your sex you identify with yourheight, your weight, and the
color of your hair and youreyes.
Jennifer Malcolm (14:46):
Okay. Yeah. So there's nothing about race on
there. Okay. So he literallytook made an assumption. So it
wasn't like you had something onyour state, the state ID and
Okay, so it's interesting. Sohow did you navigate that with
your dad?
Rizpah Waytes (15:00):
I mean, it was heartbreaking to see that he was
upset about it and like,rightfully so because like, if I
had, like, if I was in hisplace, I would be upset too.
Sure. So I mean, like, we justhad a conversation. Like, that's
not like he just asked me hedid, or he didn't even ask me he
just like made an assumption.
It's not something that I wouldsay. And like, it asked me,
like, I would have said that Imixed or I'm biracial.
Jennifer Malcolm (15:25):
Sure,
Rizpah Waytes (15:27):
But like, he didn't even ask me, so I kind of
brushed it off, but we haven'treally talked about it. Yes.
This was at the beginning of2020. So it's a little bit and
it's just, I think there'ssomething that he's come to
understand is going to happenwhen.
Jennifer Malcolm (15:48):
And I think there's I mean, it's part of me
because I do know you there's aprobably a part of you that
wants to apologize for somethingthat you have no control of you
didn't do you didn't speak intosomeone else's assumption or
misunderstanding oridentification of who they
thought you were caused, youknow, emotional turmoil between
you and your dad. And I knowthat that's nothing intentional.
(16:12):
But there's that layer of stressemotionality, that through
people's ignorance or lack ofquestion asking, you know, puts
your heart Your dad's heart,your mom's heart in a space of
hurt, and that that isn't fun aswell.
Rizpah Waytes (16:32):
Like it could have just been avoided if you
just like, ask the question,like, can you ask me for my ID
he asked me, like, if this wasmy car, like he asked me all the
best. Yeah, when my car wasmade, but that would have been
one more question that he couldhave asked.
Jennifer Malcolm (16:50):
Absolutely.
So So what is the correctanswer? So when you get asked,
you know, what race? Are you? Isbiracial? Like, what is the
correct terminology?
Rizpah Waytes (17:01):
I mean, I just go for I'm mixed. And then like,
I'll be like, my dad's black andmy mom. All right. Wait. I mean,
probably like
Jennifer Malcolm (17:11):
The ratio can be a lot of different. You know,
my, my niece is biracial. Andshe's half Filipino, half
Caucasian. So I didn't know ifthere was, I don't know what to
say
Rizpah Waytes (17:21):
I usually just say I'm mixed.
Jennifer Malcolm (17:27):
So when people identify you, so obviously
you're dealing you've sharedwith dealing with filling out a
form that is very, very mundanefor most people, a lot of
people, but causes you to pauseand really reflect of picking a
parent being misidentified byindividuals, because your
(17:47):
parents, especially when they'restraight here comes across as
Caucasian. How does it affectyou beyond the example with your
dad? Like, how does it affectyour mental health? Your
emotionality? Yeah, like howdoes it make you feel when,
because some people will say,and some people who may listen
(18:08):
to some, like, it's really notthat big of a deal, I just
clear, you know, clearlyidentify and then move on. But
for others, it really impactsSo, you know, how does it affect
you?
Rizpah Waytes (18:18):
Um, I mean, to bring up what's going on, like,
publicly or not publicly, butjust like in the world right
now, with our social justiceissues and protests and doing
things. For me, what comes upfor me the most is, I, I'm very
(18:38):
passionate about these issues.
And not about them. Because, Imean, if I take a step back and
just look at it, like any ofthese black men that are getting
wrongly accused, and injured orshot like, that could be my dad,
that could be my uncle, thatcould literally be any of my
family. Sure. And so I'm verypassionate, and I have, like, I
(19:01):
have a lot of fire in my heartaround that issue. But I have
and still have a really bigissue and struggle around
speaking up about it because,like, I don't necessarily look
like I should be fired.
Jennifer Malcolm (19:20):
Or that that you may be people may assume,
like, what what's your right tospeak up about it?
Rizpah Waytes (19:33):
racial issues that black individuals are
dealing with, like what do youknow about x, y, and z? And it's
like, just like, so that's kindof where it causes me a lot of
stress. Okay. It's just hard tovocalize when I know that
there's going to be so manypeople that come back and be
(19:54):
like, Well, what do you know?
Jennifer Malcolm (19:55):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (19:56):
I know a lot more than you think. But you're not
going to ask me And if they doask you, it's more so probably
in an accusatory manner than ina kind hearted, like, Hey, you
know, I see that you'repassionate about this, do you
want to share more? versusreally like pointing the finger?
And who are you to, you know,show voice or position in this,
(20:17):
you know, arena.
Even shared just today actually,before we got on this call, I
shared something, somebodyshared it on Instagram, about
microaggressions and differentphrases that you don't
necessarily know, that are beingaggressive, or they're not
intended to be offensive, butare taken by a person that
(20:41):
you're directing them to in avery harmful way. So there is
the one that you're so tan, oryou look just like, more fat,
really, you're not really thatblack or calling Oreo. Like,
it's like that, that people justthink that they're just like,
Oh, it's just the phrase like,yeah, it's not really a thing.
(21:02):
But people say those things tome. And you don't understand how
it affects
Jennifer Malcolm (21:09):
absolutely, even the so I'll say the story
for my sister. So like I said,my, my brother in law is
Filipino. And he's, in thesummer, he's got really, really
dark skin. And you've met myniece, kailyn and Judah, and,
you know, they look moreFilipino than white. But I
remember when my sister starteddating, my brother in law, Jake,
(21:31):
and she, they, she introducedhim to my grandparents. And my
grandmother, his response was,wow, your skin is dark. And my
sister was mortified. Like,like, you know, in, you know,
there was a lot of racialtensions that grew. My
grandparents grew up in southernKentucky where racism was very
prevalent. But she, mygrandmother knew, as soon as she
(21:55):
spoke those words, like, mysister was mortified. And you
know, she covered up with like,I wish I had a tan like you, but
it doesn't make the stain goaway.
You know, the things that peoplesay that. That there, they say
is not harmful, or it's just,you know, have thick skin type
scenario, like those reallystink, because that really is
(22:16):
your identity. It's who you areas a woman, and your womanhood
has an African American father,and, you know, a white mom. And
that's who you are. And that'sthe beauty of who you are, and
who God created you to be or auniverse higher power, whoever
you want to say. And that's thebeauty of it. And so, for
someone to make small comments,you know, that hurt, and, you
(22:40):
know, the, they always say theword, the phrase, you know,
sticks and stones may break yourbones, but words will never hurt
me is a complete fallacy.
Because six scrapes, the scrapesand bruises will go away. It's
the heart. It's the heartsthings that take time to heal
and to you know, break through.
So. So how did you react onInstagram, when you saw that
today?
Rizpah Waytes (23:00):
When I saw that, I was like, because I know the
person that created it was aperson of color, like, and I got
those things like I totally seehow those can be aggressive and
hurtful. And then I sat back andI was like, oh said those things
to me. Like, you're not reallythat black, so you don't really
(23:21):
count.
Jennifer Malcolm (23:22):
Wow.
Rizpah Waytes (23:23):
And it's like, when people say that to me, and
that's kind of the reason why Ihaven't really spoken out about
these things is because I knowpeople are going to come at me
and use it to devalue what Ihave to stay.
Jennifer Malcolm (23:37):
Sure.
Rizpah Waytes (23:38):
And I mean, that's why I shared it. And I
was and I, like I said, I waslike this is so important.
Because like saying these thingsdoes not mean that what I have
to say isn't valid. Absolutely.
So it it really struck a chordwith me when I saw that I was
like, yeah, people say thosethings to me too. And I'm a
(23:58):
white passing individual.
Jennifer Malcolm (24:01):
Right.
Rizpah Waytes (24:02):
So and when I shared it, I've had a couple of
my friends and one individualthat I know that she's also
mixed, but her mother is blackand her father's white shows she
is much darker. Okay? Heresponded to my story, and was
like, thank you for sharingthis. This is so important
(24:24):
because I'm going through thesame thing, right? And so it's
just I wish people like thoughtabout how he thought about what
they said all the time bothinstances like this. Like it's
so like, you don't know howheavy your words will weigh on
somebody.
Jennifer Malcolm (24:45):
Right and then in with everything, you know,
it's been going on in the nationand then Cleveland the last four
weeks, and the black livesmatter how important that is, is
extremely important. And thenyou know, the bigger you know,
world That is all lives matter,all voices matter, all people
matter. And, you know, with thiswomen's empowerment podcast, you
(25:08):
know, we are showcasing womenand women's stories. But it's
not to negate men, it's not tosay that women are better than
men, it's just giving a platformfor women to have their voice.
And the beauty of your voice isgoing to be that you're going to
be this in between or bridge,that you're going to be bridging
the gap that most people can't,or don't understand. But that
(25:29):
you'll be able to reallyidentify with both cultures,
both sides have deep compassionon both elements of that. And
obviously, your friend isalready you know, saying like,
Hey, this is important. Andwe're there's two, there was one
others too, you know, all ittakes us then four, then eight,
and in the art ofmultiplication, and to really
(25:54):
have that courage to say, I,this is who I am. And be proud
of, you know, who God createdyou to be. So yeah, that's,
that's it's weird, because wegrew up in the same city of
Cleveland, Ohio. And thedifference of stories.
(26:15):
Obviously, I'm quite a bit olderthan you. But the difference of
stories is just amazing. So tellme like growing up with your
family, and, you know, havingwas it segregated? Was it
together? Were you no parent?
Did your parents besides thefamily do things together? How
has that grown up?
Rizpah Waytes (26:36):
Yeah, I mean, it was always, and I think that's
the reason that I alwaysquestioned why people look at my
family any different, because tome, there was ever any, like,
divide, like, ever. I havepictures from like my
christening, when I was like,just Sure. Both sides of the
(26:58):
family black and white. wasn'tjust like, wasn't even like
everyone was at the same party.
But they were sitting.
Jennifer Malcolm (27:05):
Right.
Everybody was family, right?
That's what families, right?
Rizpah Waytes (27:09):
My family was always awesome. together. So
like when people like when I gotolder and learned that not
everybody is like this, or thatpeople are gonna look at me
different. Like it ever occurredto me when I was younger,
because it's always just how itwas when we had just the fact
that they don't know any better.
Jennifer Malcolm (27:28):
No and that was your normal. And the bottom
line is that you were in a veryloving, kind home. And you were
blessed with two parents who notonly loved each other deeply,
but loved you and raised youthat that's the part of it that
mattered is that you were afamily unit that love thrived.
(27:52):
And there was no looking at, youknow, you didn't know any
different. It was normal. And soas you grow, how was it for
school? Like? We're like, Idon't know what school district
you were in. But was your schoolmore white than African
American? Or was it mixed? Ordid you do like, when did you
(28:13):
feel like the tension was atcollege that you started feeling
this tension? Was it in highschool was an early on?
Rizpah Waytes (28:21):
Um, I mean, looking back in my I'm thinking
of like, my school yearbooks,like here, um, it was definitely
white predominant. But I mean,there were still, like,
minorities in my classes, like,there were still Hispanic,
African American, NativeAmerican individuals in my
(28:45):
classes. So that was, but like Isaid, it was generally quite
common. But I don't know ifthere was, I can't I don't
identify a specific period in mylife when I was like, Oh, I'm
different than other people. Um,because, like, my dad coached
(29:07):
basketball, and he like he didall age groups. And he's very
respected, like statechampionships and all the things
so he was a respectedindividual. So people didn't
like people treated him withrespect. When I saw him like I
practices and games and thingsso it really didn't occur to me
(29:29):
until I'm trying to think I wantto say it was around Middle
School. When I started wearingmy hair, just like doing my own
thing people would, like, throwthings in my hair to see if we
(29:51):
would stay because my hair whenI was younger, my hair was
really curly.
Jennifer Malcolm (29:55):
Wow.
Rizpah Waytes (29:55):
Um, people would throw things in my hair to see
if it would stick or if it wasDay. And I was like, Well,
nobody really that looks like mehas hair like me. So like, I
wonder, I wonder why. And sothen, like, when we travel a
lot, that I noticed I started asI got older, I started to pick
(30:18):
up on that, like when we wouldgo into. So I don't know how to
phrase this, but like not sodeveloped. The not even states,
just like areas across thecountry that were generally
quite predominant areas we wouldget looks, right. And like, my
(30:41):
dad, like we would drive pastcertain gas stations and go to
specific ones. And why are wedoing that? And well, now that
I'm older, I understand that,like, my dad didn't feel like
that was a safe place. You know,no,
Jennifer Malcolm (30:57):
No. And again, like, I know, my, my niece and
nephews experience are verydifferent than yours. But when
they travel, they do the samething. Like they're very
cognizant that a biracialmarriage in a lot. They're in
Columbus, Ohio, it's very, very,very accepted in Columbus. But
when they travel, there's a lotof areas that they're in and out
(31:20):
because they don't feelcomfortable people are staring.
And my sister is very blonde andshort. And you know, she's with
black hair, dark skinnedindividuals, and they feel that
tension as well. But soobviously, from an early age, at
least, even if you didn'tcognitively know all the whys,
looking back, I'm sure you sawwhere your dad was wanting to
(31:42):
protect you.
Rizpah Waytes (31:43):
Yeah, looking back now I'm, like, I can see
things that like my younger selfwouldn't have noticed, because
I'm not naive, just like,everybody like, this is no
different. But now looking back,I'm just like, oh, okay, so some
of these people had someprejudice towards my situation.
Jennifer Malcolm (32:09):
Over the last month, there's been a lot of
riots and tension. And with therecent turmoil, in response to
George Floyd's death, how hasthat impacted you? Or your
household? I'm sure that there'san advocacy in your heart and a
(32:32):
protectiveness, and again, thatstigma of you know, who are you?
You? You know, look white, youknow, what, right, or voice do
you have? So, kind of walk methrough what you've gone through
personally, and maybe betweenyou and your parents? Or the
last, you know, three to fiveweeks?
Rizpah Waytes (32:53):
Yeah. Um, so I like many people, um, I saw a
video of what happened duringGeorge Floyd's arrest. And I, I
sat there and I watched it,like, the guided like, I didn't
(33:14):
start crying. I didn't doanything. I was just like
watching and i was in shock. Iwas in pure shock. And then I
like put my phone down. And Ijust sat there for a second. And
of course, I was watching thisright before I went to bed. And
I started sobbing, like,hysterically sobbing like
hyperventilating, like, that wasa very ugly cry. Like, I like, I
(33:37):
sat there. And part of me waslike, why am I crying so hard?
Like, from the outside? I waslike, I don't know this man.
Yes, it was a very, it was aserious injustice that happened.
And like, there's going to needto be some serious repercussions
and all the things but like, whyare you crying like that? That
(33:59):
video of I want to say his namewas his name was but he was
jogging and got shot. Like, Iwatched that. And like, I was
outraged and frustrated. And Icalled and texted, and Simon did
all the things. But like I did,I was like, I sat there and I
was like, bawling my eyes out.
And then the next day, I feltnumb. I was, I think, and I now
(34:20):
that I'm looking back and Iprocessed through those
emotions. It was the exact samething that I'm talking about
today. I didn't know how tospeak up. Sure, given what I
look like, right, and I didn'tknow how I could use my voice to
take action, which was reallypart of why I was crying and why
(34:43):
it's still and I'm still feelingit now. Like I felt like I
couldn't take action because Idon't know how like I don't know
how to use my voice. And sosince that happened, I mean,
we've had a lot of conversationsin my household. About what has
happened, what is going on? Um,we are like up, like, we watched
(35:04):
the news in terms of like,what's happening with, like the
officers involved, or thecurrent men and everything, like
we watched, like watch thepublicize funeral and things to
like, we were like, we're stillvery in touch with what's going
on. But it was a, it was a heavyconversation in our household.
(35:31):
Because like I said earlier,like, that could have been my
dad, you know, like, what if hischeck? Didn't clear and the
cashier got concerned? And theycalled the police on my father
like, right? I think that'salso, why about so much. We
write checks all the time,right? It really does the
(35:56):
grocery shopping, right? What ifyou wrote a check that didn't go
through or credit card gotdeclined or something for some
weird reason? Sure. Like?
Jennifer Malcolm (36:12):
So it's almost like a fear paralysis, like
paralysis, that's fear driven,where you want to be an
advocate, and you want to showvoice and you want to show
support. But that paralysis ofyou know, how do I do this,
where my voices heard, and bothsides of this, and again, it
(36:37):
should be one voice throughthis, not a segmented. And I
know, you know, we have a longway to go for that one voice to
be heard, you know, doesn'tmatter the color of skin, but
the one voice to be heard. Butthat paralysis of how do I
express my voice in a mannerthat is powerful, honest,
(37:02):
truthful, gut wrenching, andsafe, all those things where you
want to be heard, and you alsowant to feel safe, and not put
yourself out there in a warmposition? So how did your
parents besides that, like, helpyou navigate? Or is it just
through conversation and timetogether? And?
Rizpah Waytes (37:25):
Yeah, I mean, when, like, the first couple
days of like that videosurfacing and everything like
that, I mean, it was, like,visually apparent that I wasn't
myself. And so my parents, bothmy mom and my dad were very
(37:46):
like, like, really? Feelinglike, Is there anything that we
can do to help? Like, is thereanything we talk about? So both
of them are very, and I hadmultiple conversations with both
of them together and separate,to talk through every,
obviously, even though they'vebeen together for years.
(38:09):
They still have very differentexperience. So that was kind of
how we navigated througheverything. And it was just
helpful because they were there,I knew that they had, they gave
me support, but they gave me thespace to process do it on my own
first before, like, you know.
Jennifer Malcolm (38:34):
So how do you think that this your story of a
mixed heritage has guided? You?
Yeah, how do you feel likethrough this?
Rizpah Waytes (38:46):
I mean, for me, the first thing that I think of
is I don't make assumptions, orI work hard to actively stop
making assumptions, becausewe're all humans, like, you're
looking at somebody and you'regonna make that first second
assumption about somebody butlike, I work really hard
internally. And stop that firstinclination of wanting to assume
(39:10):
something about somebody.
Because I know how hurtful it isto me instantly. Um, so I mean,
that's the number one thing thatI really try and in not doing,
and that's impacted, how I haveconversations with people and,
um, but really, it's just like,I'm more open to having
(39:33):
conversations with people. I'mjust more open person because
people make assumptions like sohow it works typically is
somebody makes an assumptionabout me, and then they'll say
something all the time, butsometimes people will say
something that is insulting orannoying or not true about
(39:54):
right. Like black people there.
culture or anything like that,and they don't think it bothers
me. Right. Right. Does so meconversation? Sure. Um, but so
I'm really, but my heritageguides my conversations to I
(40:20):
listen to people and I don't sayharmful thing like I don't say
home for things in general butlike having that experience for
years guides how I haveconversations with others.
Jennifer Malcolm (40:35):
No, I love how you worded it when I just wrote
down your heritage guides yourconversation that's powerful.
to, to not make assumptions. Andyes, we are human and we may
react somehow. But it's througha lens of kindness and love and
that love of unconditional anddoesn't mean you have to like
(40:55):
everyone. But that kindness ofdemonstrating love and
understanding that you may notbe in my circle of friends
because of XYZ you may be rude,you may be belligerent, you may
be harmful in other ways. Butcertain aspects of those are
good, healthy boundaries thatare needed in life that we all
need. That's not a that's not aracial thing. That's just a
(41:18):
life, you know, boundary thing.
But kindness I you know, I tellmy kids often, it's not what
you're saying your words aretruth, how you say it, the tone,
you say it in, the intentionsbehind it could be done in a
kinder manner. And I think that,if we're all intentional to own
our assumptions, and thendismiss, like, fluff them off,
(41:39):
get them off of us to seethrough eyes, eyes of love and
kindness. And then, you know,really demonstrating heart of
kindness and words of kindnessthat makes our space and we can
only impact those around us, butreally impacts our space, space
and sphere that when thatbecomes normal, how different,
(42:03):
you know, the world and culturecan be.
Rizpah Waytes (42:08):
And I've even had no what it was that you said
that made me think of this, butI've had in the past couple of
weeks, I've had people that Ihaven't talked to in a while,
where people that I didn't knowhow our relationship was, I've
had so many people reach out tome and ask me how they can
support me and help support themovement and ask about
(42:31):
terminology like is it? How doyou call somebody black? Or do
you call them African American?
Or is it just people? Like I'vehad so many people, multiple
occasions, different channels oninsert are on, like just texting
me. And that has been kind ofreassuring to me to know that
people here know and understandthat I have something to say
(42:55):
about?
Jennifer Malcolm (42:57):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Rizpah Waytes (42:59):
And it's not like, I'm not just speaking?
Jennifer Malcolm (43:03):
Yeah, no, I like it. No, so no, and I love
that. So how do you see yourpath? unwinding? in the future?
Like as you are? Or how wouldyou like to see, you know, maybe
it doesn't quite come out. Butas you're navigating this issue,
you're being a bridge and avoice in this space? You know,
(43:25):
how do you see your path onwinding?
Rizpah Waytes (43:28):
Um, and I mean, that's something that I'm still
trying to figure out. But I'vecome to the conclusion that I'm
not going to be that voicethat's always on Instagram, or
on Facebook, like, going toprotests and sharing all of the
videos and sharing all of theeverything I'm I'm realizing
(43:50):
that that's not me. And I thinkthat's also what's been causing
me a lot of stress the pastcouple of weeks, like the
feeling that I should be doingall the things and showing
everybody because the more Ilook at it, like, I'm starting
to wonder if those people areactually doing the work or
showing that they're doing thework if they're doing activism
(44:12):
or performative activism. So,I've been realizing that just
because I don't post on socialmedia doesn't mean that I'm not
actively doing the work anddoing what I can to make a
difference.
Jennifer Malcolm (44:27):
I love that.
No, I love that because you'regoing to find your space in your
cadence, and whether that's onthe forefront in the protests,
whether that's on social media,whether it's educating, you
know, through your friends,texts, questions, inquiry, and
enlightening those who arecurious and bringing knowledge
(44:49):
to that space. That'sincredible, and everyone's gonna
find their lane. And thatdoesn't mean that your lanes
less than anyone else's lane.
It's just a different lane ofadvocacy and voice and
education. And that's, you know,very, very important.
Rizpah Waytes (45:12):
I think that's what I'm realizing. But just
because I'm not this loud voice,like, in general, regardless of
social media, like doesn't meanthat I'm not moving the needle
in the right direction. Sure, Ihad one single conversation with
one of my friends that didn'tunderstand protests and did not
stand. Like the movement. Andlike, I sat down with them, and
(45:36):
they understood, like, theylistened to me. And they heard
me and they're like, wow, Iguess like, I didn't look at it
that way. Or I was only lookingat it from this side. And, like,
well, don't know that I havethose conversations. So like,
when I do publicly Speak up,there's always one person that's
like, Well, what do you know? orWhy are you choosing to speak up
(45:58):
now, but it's like, I'm doingthe work behind the scenes, but
nobody knows it. But thatdoesn't mean that, like, what
I'm doing is any less importantthan what I do?
Jennifer Malcolm (46:08):
Absolutely.
And, and to piggyback on that,even with this podcast, with the
stories, we're going to besharing with what I'm called to
do and in in empowering women tohave their voice and it's, I'm
gonna get a lot of questions,I'm gonna get a lot of questions
and a lot of accusations of Whoare you. And it gets into that
self doubt of Who am I and myresponse has to be and it's a
(46:31):
mantra, if not me, then who, andI am not going to impact every
woman on the planet. But I'mgoing to have a sphere women
that I greatly influence in thisspace to give voice and
encouragement and freedom andhealing to through these
stories. And, and by positioningthese stories, and you're going
to have that same space, you'regoing to Oh, is gonna we're
(46:53):
always gonna have naysayers,we're always gonna have people
who scrutinize and, and that'sokay. And we have to take those,
and, you know, throw them downand have tenacity to say, you
know, this is who I am. This iswho I want to be who here's what
I'm called to be, here's a placethat I have a voice and power
and position and, and move itthat way. So, no. So you have to
(47:16):
you have to do the same thing.
Because if you go by the onenaysayer, or the 10 naysayers
out of the hundred, you know,you'll be paralyzed. And you
know, you're called to really bean advocate and a voice and in
this space as well.
Rizpah Waytes (47:30):
Yeah. And I think that's what I've been doing.
Like I've, there's been a couplepeople that have told me in my
past that what I have to say,isn't valid, and I've carry that
with me. But that I can. For me,I what I think a lot of people
have been coming to me andasking me these questions is
because them in their eyes, I'mmore approachable to them, which
(47:53):
I'm like, sure. But they'recoming to me and asking me these
questions to help betterunderstand and I, at first, I
was like, why are they asking melike, there's so many thought
leaders, like black women ofcolor, and many individuals
really that are coming out andexplaining and teaching and
(48:13):
understanding. But to somepeople, that might be
uncomfortable. Sure. For somepeople, I look like them right?
Outside, I look like them. Soit's easier to have those
conversations. Interesting. No,that's very interesting what
I've been, it sounds kind ofcrappy to say, but that's how
I'm noticing some people, like,notice people circles and who
(48:37):
they will come to, you know, andlike for some people, I'm the
most diverse friend they have.
Sure. Sure. Oh, I'm the closestperson to them to be able to
have these questions and theseconversations with and I'm
realizing that that's, that'sokay.
Jennifer Malcolm (48:57):
No, it is.
Okay. So I have a few closingquestions for you. And we can do
these a little faster. But whatinspires you?
Rizpah Waytes (49:08):
Um, I guess what inspires me really is people
being their authentic selves.
You know, like, that's somethingthat I've been really working on
and inspires me when I see otherindividuals or other and it
doesn't even have to be aperson. It can be a brand, it
can be a musician, it can beanything really true to their
authentic selves. I'm like, wow.
(49:31):
Like, I love that and I want toaspire to be like that.
Jennifer Malcolm (49:34):
That's awesome. All right. So I'll
piggyback on that one. Whoinspires you? Is there a person
in your life that inspires you?
Whether it's a famous author,speaker, musician, or family
member friend who inspires you?
Rizpah Waytes (49:50):
Mmm hmm. I mean, obviously, like there's a couple
people that come to mind likethe first one is obviously you
Like, the thought of thisconversation, it's my parents,
you know, II have, they'vestayed true to themselves.
they've stayed true to their,like their marriage and their
love for each other, despite allof the obstacles and things that
(50:15):
have been thrown their way. Oh,those who really, really, truly
inspire me. I love it made itthey stayed true.
Jennifer Malcolm (50:26):
Absolutely. I love it. What's a dream in your
heart that you want to dosomeday?
Rizpah Waytes (50:32):
Um, I, the first thing that comes to mind is I
want to, it kind of goes alongwith what we've been talking
about today, too. I want to beable to speak and confidently no
matter what it's about, youknow, like, I really want to
(50:54):
stop caring about the point 3%that you're going to have an
issue with it, or the fivepeople that are going to be
upset and outraged with what Ihave to say. Regardless if it's
like a social injustice, or justlike in general, like I want to
stop second guessing myself.
Jennifer Malcolm (51:13):
I love it.
What do you do to decompressyourself? exercise, sing, run,
dance scream? What do you do?
Rizpah Waytes (51:22):
Dance? teach dance. So whenever I get
stressed out, yeah, you danceclass, love it. In your body.
Yeah. And so I'm moving. But I'malso working with kids. And
teaching them and working withthem. And they just like, you,
(51:42):
when you're teaching kids, youcan't go in with all of the
external baggage that you havegoing on. Like you drop that at
the door, you come in, ready forthese kids so and even like on
my own, if I don't have class,I'll just turn on music and
like, I'll just move around, andI'll clean my room or so.
Jennifer Malcolm (51:59):
Yeah, I love it. I love it.
So any other thoughts, storiesthat you want to share before we
close this out? Um,
Rizpah Waytes (52:07):
I mean, the only thing that I would want to say
is, I mean, you don't even haveto like this isn't something
just for my mixture, biracialpeople out there, it's like
literally anybody, like, Don'tthink that your story or what
you have to say is invalid justbecause of like, the way you
(52:28):
look or the way you speak orwhatever like your story has, or
you're not even your story, yourstatement has value just because
it comes from you. That'ssomething that I'm still working
on. But I think is important forpeople to hear.
Jennifer Malcolm (52:48):
Well, thank you so much for taking time this
afternoon. I know that you werenervous and excited at the same
time, and that you were willingto talk about something that
obviously is very prevalent inour nation right now, but has
the it's an ongoing, you know,issue and that you had the
courage to come on and shareyour story. Because, again, it's
(53:12):
your story and your storymatters. And it's going to
empower other women, other menwho hear this in a biracial
situation that who knows Oh,sure, start your own movement of
being the bridge between sometwo races. So thank you so much
(53:32):
for your time. And we're lookingforward to seeing you next time
and the next podcast and staytuned. We will put social media
out there. If you want to haveany further questions for me or
for Rizpah, we'd love to hearyour feedback, your stories,
your questions and keep thisreally important conversation at
the forefront. But we're here tosupport. So please reach out to
(53:57):
us with any questions orfeedback on us. So thanks again,
and subscribe to the JennasisMovement to empower women's
voices and reclaim the powerover your own narrative.
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