January 27, 2025 • 47 mins
Could the fiery chaos engulfing Los Angeles be part of a bigger, not-so-natural plan?
On this episode of Jerking Around, we dive headfirst into the wild theories buzzing around town—like whispers of a master plan to turn LA into a high-tech "smart city" just in time for the Olympics. Toss in the suspicious arrest of an immigrant scapegoated for the blazes, and you’ve got the kind of plot that would make a Hollywood screenwriter jealous. As Instagram fills with hot takes and hashtags, we hit pause to talk about the importance of protecting your mental health—maybe over some comforting bites in Chino.
But that’s not all smoldering in the background! The fires have sparked a messy insurance drama too. We unravel the twisted tale of policy cancellations and eyebrow-raising rate hikes, digging into how government regulations have left insurance companies doing the fiscal equivalent of the cha-cha. Why are rates climbing before the flames even start, and what does that mean for folks in fire-prone areas? We’re breaking down the high-stakes game of balancing risk, regulations, and real-life consequences.
Join us for a fiery episode full of jaw-dropping theories, insurance intrigue, and just the right amount of snark to keep it real. You’ll laugh, you’ll question everything, and you might even rethink that policy renewal letter sitting on your counter.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you
feel better about yourself,because we're a mess just like
you, and Crystal makes fun of methe whole time and it's great
and it's real.
Welcome to Jerking Around,welcome, oh my goodness.
(00:26):
No we already said that lastweek, I know, but there was
another one.
We gotta move on.
We're live, don't show yourtanning hand.
Oh, yeah, it's so orange.
Yeah, he's just spray tanned.
Yeah.
And she got a new sweatshirtfor today and she did this toner
to her hair.
That looks amazing.
The at home.
She's really doing it today.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I know, new year, new you.
I know I actually like doing myhair at home better.
I don't I.
It's like a whole production togo.
It was nice just in the shower.
It's done you know yeah,totally.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
So, I think it's great.
Yeah, all right, there's somuch to talk about, so much, so
obviously we got to make thisepisode go quicker, but the LA
fires is a big trending topicright now, right it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Everyone knows what it is, but if they didn't, if
they live under a rock, la is onfire.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, la was on fire, not just
LA, the Palisades, la Calabasas.
All over different areas, jay-zand Beyonce's house Seven
different different areas jay-zand beyonce's house was like
seven different is beingevacuated.
No, that might have been fake.
Yeah, that's what's hard nowwith ai.
I don't know if everything's asreal I mean, whoever knows if
it's ever real, right but I dothink the fires weren't natural
(01:35):
no, they said it was arson.
Yeah, yeah but I feel like wedon't really know the truth and
a lot going on with the governorand the fire chief and oh my
goodness.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
And they're blaming that immigrant.
They caught him with the canlike and they're like he's an
immigrant derogatory no, I'msaying he like he immigrated
here.
That's what they're saying.
Yeah, I'm not trying to bederogatory.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I'm saying he's non.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
He immigrated here.
What's a better word?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
but I don't know yeah , it's fine illegal, that sounds
worse, just moving on, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
So why are they saying that?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
that's what I'm saying.
Oh, just one guy.
There's like 50 of them right,there's so many videos.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I'm saying they're saying that he, why do you think
they're doing the fires?
Well, I mean, I don't know.
They're saying that.
They meaning Instagram, oursource of news that LA is one of
the cities that wants to becomea smart city, which is like,
basically, they're saying thatthey meaning Instagram, our
source of news that LA is one ofthe cities that wants to become
a smart city, which is likebasically redoing the whole
infrastructure.
So there's no quicker way toget rid of it, like demolishing
(02:36):
all that stuff.
It's just like if they justburn it down, it might be easier
to rebuild, because theOlympics is going to be here in
a few years oh, really, yeah, infour years.
So they're saying In LA, yes,and so they're saying there was
no room for it, and so allegedlyso.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Would the governor have something to do with that
then?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yes, because he brings the so they're saying
allegedly there was no room forthe Olympics, so they wanted a
smart city, so they burned it,that's the.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
This is off topic, but are we going to go to Chino
today?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Oh my gosh, please.
I don't know.
I'm trying not to eat bad, allright, I just like off the rails
for Christmas, you know?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah, it just sounds so good, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Okay, so who knows that's what is the word on the
street?
Okay, my sources.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
My next question is do you think what tell me about
the insurance?
Cause what I heard about theinsurance because what I heard
about the insurance and what youtold me were different I feel
like yours is more what did youhear about how they canceled?
I thought it was just so wrongthat they canceled all those
insurance policies, but you saidthere was a reason or something
yes, so the policies put inplace by the government was that
(03:41):
they couldn't raise the ratesto cover future potential risk.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So the insurance companies would have lost money
if they provided coverage,because they had to do it based
off of, like old assessed riskand not future risk.
Why couldn't they raise therates?
Because the government saidthey couldn't, but we got our
rates raised On this particularfire.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yes, prior to couldn't.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
So, but we got our rates raised On this particular
fire, yes, prior to the fire,right, so they dropped fire.
They didn't drop everyinsurance, they dropped fire,
but that's not weird.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So weird.
Yeah, that's so weird.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
But again, this is what's being said, so who knows
if it's true Exactly Alleged,allegedly.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Alleged, alleged, alleged, alleged.
We got taken off of TikTok in afew hours last night, so we're
really in big trouble.
My question, though, is do allthose people lose everything?
Then?
Spencer Pratt is really upset.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Did you see?
Heidi has a number one song.
Heidi's streaming.
I know I didn't do it, but I'mgonna do it.
You know, support Heidi, streamit.
Yeah, oh yeah, I'll pay for it.
And he.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
He's like real mad.
People are giving Mandy Mooremoney and not him Really.
Yeah, Mandy Moore supposedlyhas a GoFundMe and Spencer's
like.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I'm getting For herself.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I think so, oh yeah.
So Spencer's real mad.
He wants a GoFundMe.
Yeah, oh good.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Is this the info?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Oh, thank you.
Biden announces a one-time $770payment for California wildfire
victim.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, and that's what people were saying that's not
even going to buy you, likegroceries in California it's
such a weird number too.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Why not a thousand dollars, right?
That's it.
Oh my gosh, thank you, that'scrazy, I know.
Yeah, well, like Spencer, didhe have insurance?
I don't know, I don't know.
It's really sad, sad.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
If you think about losing everything, I feel bad
for all, all of them, likeeverything, like all the stuff
that you can't buy again well,we live by like a field of
desert and I was thinking likeif it caught fire like our house
would go and I was you're gonnastart worrying about this.
I was worrying about it as I'mall as phoenix on on list to be
a smart city, we are.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So I was like Ooh, I know, but some people have
nowhere to go and if you have nosavings, I could live with you,
thankfully, but we're close.
I think if you're going, you'rea fire.
My house is going to, totally,I know, but like it is important
.
I'm in a save money um time ofmy life, just starting it,
(06:09):
though I haven saved much yet.
Great though, but I'm reallytrying to not spend.
We talked about it last week.
It was so stupid in one day,like you don't realize, like a
Starbucks here and a and a go tocanes there, and it's $50.
So I keep wondering why I feellike I'm not saving money, and
now I'm starting to see theproblem.
So I've been listening to DaveRamsey a lot too, which does
change your like.
Think you when they say, likehang out with smart people,
it'll make you smarter, or likesuccessful people, it'll make
you better?
I do feel like listening, notthat I always agree with
(06:32):
everything, but it does changemy mindset.
I'm like, okay, do I need this,do I need that?
But it is crazy, though, whenyou comes to these things, if
you don't have savings, how doyou live?
Do you put the hotel on thecredit card and go broke when
you're already in such a diresituation.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
It's like so sad when waiting for the payouts which I
did read something that theyhave to approve like an instant
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah, they need something and the hotels are
being like overrun.
It's just really sad.
It's awful.
The fires is a big thing.
I kind of feel like now, whenwe talk, I picture the clips and
I'm so nervous about them.
Is that why you were being soweird?
Oh, it's awful, yeah, but I'mkind of like you messed with the
(07:16):
wrong people this time.
That's kind of like you might,you know, like the people, those
houses who lost their houses.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
They have money and like I feel like this one isn't
going to be brushed over aseasily, like the people in North
Carolina, from the peoplealready forgot about the
hurricane.
It's awful, and now they'relike in the freezing
temperatures, homeless.
It's horrible.
But, yeah, I do feel like, yeah, what's happening with those
people?
Right, well, they're facinglike record breaking freezing
(07:41):
temperatures with no homes, andso it's crazy because now the
focus is on the fires and atleast with the celebrity
coverage, I feel like it won'tkind of just go away, although
Maui it's like people moved on.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I know Maui is sad.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Everyone's moved on.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It's horrible.
Well, they were saying how longit's taking to rebuild.
But then in Florida, this isagain an Instagram.
They remember those stormsyears ago, the?
Then in Florida, this is againan Instagram.
Um, they, they remember thosestorms years ago, the hurricanes
in Florida, I guess one of themain bridges came down and he
had it rebuilt like within areally quick amount of time.
I'm probably wrong, but like amonth.
Right, it was crazy.
I was like wow, yeah, but likewhen you really put your
(08:18):
resources towards it, it canchange really quickly.
Yeah, I think it just dependswhat they want to do more on our
trending topics or topics thatpiss some of you off.
Um, did you guys hear about ourjerky?
You guys Cause he shouldn'tlisten.
But I've been really listeningto Joe Rogan lately and he's
such a good interviewer.
Like there's some people thathave it and some that don't.
(08:40):
I think that's part of call herdaddy, I want to be on Joe
Rogan one day.
Oh it's.
He's so entertaining, he's sointeresting to me.
Um, and I think call her daddy,that's her thing.
She's a very good interviewer.
She has like the good, yeah,and like Oprah is a good
interviewer, like she asks whatyou're thinking.
So I feel like Joe Rogan's areally good interviewer, but
they were talking about how muchFacebook was censored during
(09:01):
COVID and it's mind blowing thethings he's saying.
I'm not going to quote itbecause I typically get things
wrong when I quote him, becauseI have some issues, but if you
guys are curious, I would listento the Joe Rogan, mark
Zuckerberg, as well as Joe Loganand Elon Musk.
I'm still thinking about therobot, though.
Last week, tisha and I Jet washere we cried about the robot
(09:28):
for like I thought about it likethree days later, me too.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I can't get over it.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And I'm still thinking about the robot.
It's so funny.
It's crazy that all the AI stuffout there though it's almost
like scary, like how there waslike a video Almost it's fully
scary Of a robot being arrestedat an airport and it was like
beating the guy up and I waslike how are you going to arrest
a robot?
And it's just like crazy Causemy car is so smart.
I know the Tesla, I recentlygot a Tesla and I didn't really
care about Tesla.
(09:51):
But have you ever met peoplethat are like pro Tesla, like my
uncle is like, yeah, I'm one ofthem now, but like my uncle is
like that?
He's like, aren't you Like it'slike some people that my
brother is like a pro Tesla?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, it's like once you drink the Kool-Aid, you're
it's like Apple Once you have an.
Apple phone.
Once you have an iPhone, you'renot not having Apple.
You can't not have Apple Like Icouldn't go get like a.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Dell computer no, and I liked the Dell.
I was anti Mac years ago.
No, the, the Tesla is so smart.
So now I'm like I kind of trustthe robots, but it's just scary
, they have so much power.
And then the chip.
Did you see three people havebeen chipped already in the
brain?
No, yeah, to see like what itdoes.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But why would you want?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
to do that, I know.
But like if, if I'm not smartfrom AI, so I'm not going to get
chipped, then I'm just the onlylike you know.
Yeah, for sure, I already feellike that sometimes, and so now
I'm going to be like that, likeit's.
It's hard.
I mean I'm so scared of themark of the beast that I won't
do it.
But how do you not Like, ifyour brain's that smart, it's
crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I think there's a line you can't go past the line
of like joining man and robot.
It's just not what God like.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I know.
But if you think about it likewhen we first put in, like I
know, but if you think about itlike when we first put in, like
my dad had a defibrillator, itlike beats his heart and it zaps
him yeah, so it's like the frogeffect right, like slowly,
we're doing these small thingswhere we're putting medical
devices in our body and we'retrusting them and I think if
we're not careful right, yearslater, our whole body is we are
(11:24):
the robot.
Yeah, it's careful.
Right years later, our wholebody is we are the robot.
Yeah, it's crazy creepy.
What would you miss most aboutyour body if you were a robot?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
wait, like if I had to pick pick a replacement no,
probably someone um I get likehard abs.
You know robot abs.
Let's flop those out.
You know it's fine robot boobs.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Would they be soft the nipples all like spraying.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
My boobs are so small , but would you want robot boobs
?
They're like robot boobs rightnow.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
No, but like, would they spray, like milk?
No, you know, would we all bedrinking robot milk?
There's no robot milk.
The robots are crazy, though.
Would you buy one?
No See, I think I would.
I feel like you would too.
I kind of want one.
I know, like if it would cookclean and like if I win the
(12:11):
lottery, I'll buy you a robot.
I want the robot really bad.
Yeah, kim, did you see?
It's like while the fires arehappening and people are
evacuating.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I saw her playing outside with the robot.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I know like we're not really famous, so I don't feel
like we need to address itbefore, but it like was going.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Like it was going on, because you know how things
post for days, so then peoplewere seeing it when the fires
were watching.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
My mom likes to watch the old kardashian episodes and
they were so good.
I know cute.
It's sad they were such a cute.
Family was a guy.
Yeah, they look so different.
I loved bruce.
I I know he was like Normal.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, it's weird and like a dad, it's like sad.
Now he's not even like a dad.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I don't want to talk about so much celebrity trending
topics, but I have to talkabout the P Diddy documentary on
Prime.
I think it's on Amazon.
I could be wrong.
Kyle told me Kyle's listening.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
My husband.
He's finally back.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
He was our number one jerky and then he went away.
Yeah, he got offended because Italked bad about him once.
Yeah, he did.
He got real mad.
He wouldn't listen.
Well, ben could never listen.
He'd be like but now he's likeback and he's like um, I forgot
my point the jerkeys.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
No, you were saying Kyle the conspiracies I forgot
Dang it.
I hate that.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Oh P Diddy, oh yeah, oh, he got mad because I got it
it.
I hate that.
Oh P Diddy, oh yeah, oh, he gotmad because I got it wrong.
I said a few weeks ago JasonKelsey with Taylor Swift and I
get stuff wrong all the time.
It's who I am, but when we'retalking I didn't even think
about it.
But when I'm listening I'm soannoyed every time I hear that
one that I said it wrong on theinternet.
It's yeah, totally look like anidiot.
Yeah, but anyways, pdddocumentary I don't know which
(13:45):
one it was on, it wasn't onnetflix, I know that.
Um, I don't think, but it'sreally interesting.
The dynamic you guys shouldlisten the dynamic between him
and tupac.
It's crazy like remember backwhen we were young, the rap was
like serious because it was likebloods and crips.
Yeah, remember it was like.
Remember bone thug againstharmony, people were getting
(14:07):
shot.
Yes, it was like you gotta watch, though it's like he's in the
center of all of it really.
Yes, like knowingly, like therewas a shootout with him there.
He got arrested and then his,his um, one of his close people,
took the hit for it.
Like he went to jail for it.
Yeah, it's crazy.
And then it talks about so manythings, but it's like a
(14:28):
documentary on on a publicchannel, so it's not like all of
it's.
There's gotta be data to prove.
So then it talks about how hegot into Hollywood and how he
started, you know, and withyounger um ladies.
No, like I mean, I think in thedocumentary it talks about
Justin Bieber having, how he hadcustody of him for 48 hours.
(14:50):
That's still so mind-blowing.
Why would anyone give some?
I would never give anyonecustody of my kids for 48 hours.
Why do you need custody?
Why can't he just go hang outfor 48 hours?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Or like four hours, and he had.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Usher, since he was like 11.
Yeah, and Usher said the thingshe saw orgies and stuff.
Yeah, I keep thinking so.
We love doing the podcast, butnow that we're getting feedback
it messes with us so much.
Oh, it's horrible.
So someone in my life was likeI heard your podcast is raunchy
and dirty and it talks about sex.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And orgies.
You're talking about orgies?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, and so we're still going to talk about that
stuff, though Tisha has a bigexperience she wants to share
about this weekend no.
I don't, and letting Ben godownstairs.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah, well, you need to start.
I know that's what this isabout today.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Jet and I talked and we're having an intervention.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, chet's real worried about my.
He is, but watch theDocumentary.
I think there's two more thingsI want to talk about Kristen
Cavallari talking about MorganWallen being her F buddy
Interesting.
I know I, as a mom of Two girls, don't want to tell anyone
about my F buddy, but maybe someof my podcast, my
mother-in-law's like some ofthose Stories you're not going
to want out there because yourkids Are going to listen.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I don't disagree Because I worry about the
stories, you know.
I mean, I'm not talking aboutan F buddy, but some stories I'm
like oh, you're way more tameabout your past stories than I
am.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I tell all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I'm.
I don't have a lot of paststories.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
This is liar.
Let's be honest, you have justas many.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You're just not telling it was weirdly proud of
having an F buddy.
It was weirdly proud of havingan F buddy, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And I was like oh it just is like yeah, I feel like
it's just kind of getting around, you know, but she's fine with
it.
Yeah she said that she's datingsomeone new well, she said a
non-negotiable is they have tohave a vasectomy because she
doesn't want to have to use awhat?
Yeah, it's just a lot ofinformation we're on a clip.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You saw that, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
Did you hear she like messagedkevin costner?
Did you see someone else?
No, someone older is withsomeone young and I was like
that's kind of adorable.
Who Was it?
Kevin Costner?
No, it was someone like evenbetter.
I got to find it it was reallyinteresting.
Interesting.
Okay, the last thing I want totalk about.
(17:06):
I don't really care about thisas much, but you're really into
the drones?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
You've been wanting to talk about for we go.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
We can't make this a clip we just.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
this is just for the jerkies that aren't going to sue
me.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Okay, allegedly.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Allegedly so.
The drones, so Trump?
Everyone's been seeing thesedrones all over.
They're in all these cities.
There's all these clips ofpeople on airplanes taking
pictures.
Who knows if it's real, butallegedly.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
It's a lot, though, there lot, though.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
There's a lot and it's even now on like the New
York post.
It's on all these things.
Well, trump, no one'saddressing it and it is weird.
Why is no one addressing theUFOs?
It's like what's going on?
And now, because I've seen somany, my Instagram feed is full
of UFOs.
It's like take me to yourleader, like it's so UFO.
But Trump said when he gets anoffice, he's going to address
(17:56):
the drones.
So I'm interested to see whathe says.
I don't think he's going totell the truth and I don't want
to say what I think the truth is, because I feel like it might
be a little like she's Doomsday.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Crazy or crazy?
Yeah, I feel like people, butmy brother's thought I'm crazy
many times.
He's like when around theelection.
Yeah, he can never hear thisabout all the things that you're
talking about, the things thatnow are coming out.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
That are true.
Yes, I know.
Yeah, mark Zuckerberg.
It's like hello Duh, it wascensored.
No one didn't think it wascensored.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
People didn't think it was censored.
I know people in our life thatdid not think it was censored.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
But they probably still don't think, even though
he's fully saying it, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
He's is like, if I'm going to disagree with someone
and they tell me to go here, Iwould go there just for the sake
of like a good discussion,right.
But, like some people, I feellike it's like go listen to the
podcast out of Mark Zuckerberg'smouth, right, and then tell me
what you think, and they'll belike, yeah, I'm not going to
listen.
It's like a learned naivenessLike they're fine with it,
(18:55):
they're fine with what theybelieve it.
Naiveness like they're finewith it, they're fine with what
they believe it's being wrong.
Though I love to like learn.
Yeah, me too.
Like I would want to learn bothsides.
Yeah, I've, I've changed a loton certain things because I've
listened to the other side, or Ilike was like yeah, you're
right, that does make sense,right, you know?
Yeah, I don't know it'sinteresting.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It's interesting, but yeah, I do want to know about
the drones, because should I say, or is it too weird?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I think you'll regret it if it's public and I don't
want to keep editing.
You're making me edit so much,so don't say it.
If, five hours later, you'regoing to call me and tell me,
take it out, okay, I won't.
So let's save that for later,when you're more comfortable and
we get less hate.
Okay, the hate has subsided.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I feel like it can't be a clip, but like it could be
on the podcast, maybe in a fewweeks yeah, okay, let's talk
about real life now.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Okay, I listen a lot and I actually the podcast about
my dad and Thanksgiving was agood one.
Daddy's dads again was one ofmy favorites.
If you haven't listened, listento dads again.
It's such a funny episode.
But the last one was actuallyreally good too.
I think sometimes we try totalk about trending topics
because I know sometimes I wantto like talk about it with my
(19:58):
girlfriend, yeah, and so we tryto be your girlfriends that you
can talk to us about.
But let's talk about real lifeChurch this weekend and we talk
about conspiracies a lot andthose are real life.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
We talk about this stuff every day, but we're not a
conspiracy podcast, so that'swhere it kind of dances.
You know, we can be whateveryou want.
Yeah, I was going to start aconspiracy podcast with my dad
because he's like the OG.
And I told him like years ago,like after COVID, I was like
because he's so smart, he's thesmartest person I've ever met my
biological dad I have two dadsbut he I was like we should do a
(20:29):
podcast of and you just liketell people what you know.
And then I was like we're goingto get killed.
So we never did.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
And here we are, yeah , yeah, feeling good.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Yeah, tell us about it.
We should have him on one time,can you?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
explain that you have two dads, though A little bit,
yeah, because people mightwonder if they were together
dads again.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah, dads again.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, so explain a little bit about that so.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I have a biological and then they.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
He was with your mom.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He was with my mom.
They got divorced when I wassuper young, and then she met my
stepdad when I was two, andthen he raised me too.
So I have had two dads since Iwas two.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
I love it, by the way .
Yeah, I think that's a topicthat people, especially in
what's it called Multifamilyyeah, like when you get
remarried I love like they'retotally equal to you.
Yeah, and it's so differentwhich one walked you down the
aisle, or how'd you do that?
They both did on each side.
Yeah, See, I love that BecauseI think sometimes, like I have,
I am around a lot of young girlsthese days and I get to hear
(21:28):
different stories about familydynamics, Right, and I do think
that's a topic that comes up is,you know, if they are parents
are separated and they'reremarried and there's tension
between those two families, it'sreally hard for kids, you know,
if they love both, they don'twant to hurt one's feelings, so
I love that.
I don't feel like you're you'rebiological dad's threatened by
no.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I don't think they've either.
They respect and maybe insidethey have feelings towards each
other.
I'm sure there are feelings ofwhatever, but they've never put
them on me or like talked badabout each other.
Yeah so, but I feel like thathas taught me for my like today.
Cj posted the mom thing I lovedit and he put both of us and
(22:07):
like.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
You're not threatened by that.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
No, we are both his moms, it's not.
Yeah, I love that.
There's no competition, we'rejust different you know?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah, you're right.
Isn't that weird?
How god does that?
Like you went through this,through it and then you
understand it way more thananyone else would.
Totally, that's so crazy, Iknow.
Not knowing that you would.
Yeah, yeah, I do, I saw that.
I think tj cj is the best.
That was cute.
I know he's so cute none of myother kids they're like I think
it's cool, though, to appreciatethat someone else loves your
kids so much.
(22:36):
Totally, you know what I what Imean and like is there for your
kid.
But I know in in friends ofmine that are divorced there's
tensions there.
It's hard, yeah.
So I think it's super cool foryou.
Okay, moving on church thisweek Tisha didn't go cause she's
not been going, but no, I thinkactually you've been going more
, I have not been going.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
We did make a thing for 2025, but it didn't start
strong no, no, I'm all maybewhat's devotional and it's been
going really great, good, so Ifeel like I am starting the year
stronger.
Yes, yes, but I do need to gothere, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
So Kyle and I, we have been not great about it, um
, about getting to church withsports and stuff, which is the
lamest excuse, but at CCV, ourchurch that we both go to um,
they did talk about new year tryto make it three out of four
weeks, which I love because Iyou know me new year all the
goals are happening, goalsgalore.
Yeah, we're goal city right now.
Yeah, um, but we've beenwatching a lot.
(23:41):
If we don't make it, which Iactually like, and sometimes
it'll be, I think around theholidays there was some songs
and things and I was emotionalabout my dad and everything.
Yeah, that works for me well,because I think sometimes you
know if you go you're going tobe emotional and at home I'm not
as embarrassed.
In church it's awkward whenyou're doing that, I'm not
crying yeah yeah and um.
(24:01):
This week was so good and theypaid my best song battle belongs
.
It was to start.
And there's something soemotional about actually going
to church.
Like I don't think.
I think I get the same out ofthe message I sing at home just
like I'm worshiping, right, butwhen you walk in the building I
don't know it's yeah, you forgetlike how good that is.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And there's no distractions at home.
The kids are running in.
It's like you can look at yourphone, it's just different.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
A lot more yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Present yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
The service is.
The series is about marriage,which I love, which I love, and
this is interesting because Igot in a little bit of trouble,
because talking about sex andsomebody that hasn't listened to
our podcast just has heardabout it and saying, maybe you
know I'm not making the familylook great by talking about
these things, but Tisha and Ihave a passion for married
(24:48):
couples and knowing thateverything's not perfect in any
marriage, I think that's forsure, true, and I think that a
lot of times you're going to gothrough hills and valleys and if
you're in a valley thinkingyou're alone in the valley, we
want you to know everybody goesthrough valleys, don't give up,
right.
So it's really important for usto talk about sex, because it's
such a thing in marriage.
Ccv years ago did a marriageseries our church and they
(25:11):
talked about sex for a month.
Wasn't it a month?
I feel like it was a while wasit, yeah, when dawn was?
Yeah, it was when Don was thereand I never forgot it, and I
think growing up like this is asoapbox, but I grew up in a
church where you didn't have sexbefore you're married and
sometimes what that does is itmakes sex almost forbidden, so
that when you do it, I thinkthere can be times in Christian
(25:33):
or maybe other religions whereyou feel like a guilt about it
because even if you're marriedyes, because it was frowned upon
for so many years, like youweren't allowed yeah, there's
like a weird there's a guiltthat comes with it.
So I feel like once they talkedabout it at church, it kind of
helped me with that, becausemaybe I had that growing up
where I did feel like it was asin, but it's something so
beautiful from God, especially,like you know, if you let him,
(25:58):
yeah, go down there.
No, that's dirty and wrong, jay, I know, but no, everything's
different, but I think like it'ssuch a core part of marriage.
Yeah, and ashley talked aboutour pastor this weekend.
He talked about you know how aman feels pursued and in the
bedroom.
That's one key area right whichI am like fine with doing it
like Kyle has this thing, we'regoing for it.
(26:20):
Kyle has this thing where if Isay no, it makes him want to.
So bad, I'm Kyle.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I'm the same way when Ben, when we can't, I'm like
now, yes but, then when I can,I'm like yeah, when he's like
late for a meeting, I'm all hey,you know why I don't know it's
like, I don't know it's weird,and why am I the guy?
It's like you know you start ita lot, um no, well, so like I
(26:46):
know, when it's like been acouple days and he's wanting it.
Yeah, because I can just telllike I'm getting out of the
shower and there's the eyes youknow and I'm like you know.
But I will give the green light.
I don't like necessarily what'sthe green like?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
can we talk real?
Let's go.
You know, you just say that,like that with the thumb.
Yeah, let's go.
Like so are you naked when youdo?
Speaker 2 (27:07):
let's go or if I drop the kids off at school, come
home, he's about to leave.
I'm like do you have 10 minutes?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
you know.
So then do you guys both justtake off all your clothes and
jump in the bed, kind of reallyyeah oh, that's pretty fun.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah, yeah, and then it just when he can't.
It's more exciting.
It's like a challenge forthat's kyle every time I love a
challenge yeah, yeah, maybethat's it.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
It's, and like I don't say no that much.
So when I do, I really mean, no, is that bad, I don't really.
It's just so much easier, like,like you said, they're just so
much happier.
Oh, so I feel like I know thatsomething.
Just do it and then like, onceit starts, it's fine, oh, once
we get going it's great, yeah,but like to get there and,
honestly, for women, I feel likeso much of not wanting to have
(27:51):
sex or not feeling sexual is ourown body image.
Yes, like I've put on a fewholiday pounds and it makes it
changes like my whole vibe, likeI feel like and the guys don't
care, I know, but it's like hard, like same when I get out of
the shower.
He's looking and I feel like solike uncomfortable, right you?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
know it's weird, after I had a baby and he was
just as attracted to me then asright now and it's like 50
pounds difference.
It's like it's no difference tothem, but for some it's just
it's us, I know.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I wish I could let go of it, because I think
sometimes, so often in ourmarriage, sometimes what's
happening with us has nothing todo with him.
Totally Like, if I'm feelinginsecure or feeling bad about
myself, I'm so mean to him,which is weird, you would think
you'd want to lock him in, youknow, and be so nice, but like
it's hard.
So, yeah, right now I'm notfeeling and he's like, honestly,
so much to do with how nice youare, I really think, because
(28:43):
he's like so about it right nowand I'm like, ooh, I'm not
feeling like sexual yeah.
And then when I say no, it'slike, and that's not like in a
rape way, it's sounding weird,yeah, it is sounding weird.
No, like he'll turn it into ayes.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
That's how I am.
I'm like challenge accepted.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
So what do you do to get him to say yes?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Oh, I talk dirty.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Like what's your go-to.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Oh boy Grabbing.
You know I don't care, we'remarried.
You know what's your dirty talklike?
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You big, big boy, no we do have a trick.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
We're not saying the trick on here.
We have a couple choice.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I have a couple choice naughty words that I'll
use, and then it really gets himgoing, you know yeah, I'm
curious, if ever is dirty talkapproved, like, do you think all
married couples do dirty talk,or do you think only special
ones like you?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
because I don't you do too, oh, yours is, like you,
dirty.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
No, no, no, no no, but I know a lot of people that
don't do that.
So then I'm like am I weird?
So like I never did that itanyone but Ben?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
yeah, I.
But in marriage, I think wesometimes have a little dirty
talk.
It's not like vulgar.
I mean maybe it's vul, you're abad girl.
No, I'm just kidding.
We have the baby talk.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
We got the dirty talk .
Yeah, it does turn.
Huh, yeah, do you guys, babytalk, wait for real, it's like
wait, you're lying in thebedroom, baby talk, baby talk
and dirty talk collide and it'slike Like give me just a light
example.
Like you want your deweys, youbig girl, bad boy, I don't know.
No one wants to be called biggirl first of all.
(30:26):
No, never, never.
Big boy isn't bad, no, big girlis horrible.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Big boys like they, probably like that, yeah, yeah.
No, I do feel like the talkingsometimes can, if you want it to
speed up speed up speed thingsalong yeah, it does help or
doing anything kind of different.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, you can even throw your leg up, and it's a
different thing.
Sorry, jet, anyways, okay.
So at church they talked abouthow, like I said, I'm sometimes
like, yeah, let's do it, I orlike whatever, but I'm not
always like the initiator LikeI'm.
I'm sometimes like, yeah, let'sdo it or like whatever, but I'm
not always like the initiator.
Yes, like I'm not always thatRight.
So I think that's what I coulddo.
Better is like start it.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
See, I feel like Ben will initiate, but I have to
kind of give the green lightbecause I think he's worried
he's going to get turned down.
So oh, he's like scared toinitiate, Not scared, scared,
but no, are you nice to him?
No, no, I know.
Is he safe?
No, but if I'm in a mood hewon't initiate if he knows I'm
in the mood.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Oh, so you kind of have to like help start it along
to know it's a go.
Yes, why, if he initiates?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
it and you're not in the mood.
Does he get in trouble?
No, but I think he feels likerejected, rejected, and he
doesn't love that feeling.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I do think that's a thing.
Yeah, what's funny is, if Iwant to and he doesn't, do you
feel rejected?
I don't, I'm like, okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I don't feel like that ever happens.
You know, really, I've neverbeen like wanting it and he
doesn't.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Well, I've been like want to, and he's like, yeah, I
don't know, I'm kind of tired.
I'm like, okay, yeah, Iwouldn't feel rejected by that,
yeah, I don't.
But if I did that to him, Ithink sometimes, oh, they
totally do.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, they're way more sensitive.
I was talking to a friend onceand she was like he.
She was complaining that indoing it she has to act really
like into it or he doesn't wantto do it and I'm like that's the
pressure.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
No, that's the pressure, yeah, which is a nice
guy because, let's be real,there's plenty guys out there
like he wants to make sureyou're happy yes, but sometimes
like, if I have a lot on my mind, it's not about him.
No, I'm like like I'm for thedoing it, but I'm like not gonna
be as like into it.
Svetlana, you know it'll belike we can get the job done.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Yeah, this is horrible.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Yeah, yeah, no clips it is.
It is hard but he talked about,yeah, men need to feel pursued
and they also need to feel likeadmired.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
So what do the women?
Speaker 1 (32:44):
need the women need you know?
He told his like dishes storyand stuff and then he said many
women are different.
Like not all are words ofaffirmation or this or that.
No, I'm not words ofaffirmation at all.
So need to ask your spousewhat's?
How do they want to be pursued?
Which made me feel kind of likeweird.
As he says.
It's kind of like too muchfeelings for me really.
Yeah, like I don't like likemushy stuff, which is weird.
(33:05):
That's why your baby talk makesme really uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah and I'm less mushy in life like emotional,
but then I can baby yeah andyou're like a more like mushy
person than me.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yes, like, very like, cuddly and like I, I love you.
Even words like I love you, yes, boobies and weird I, I'm not.
My whole family is like yeah.
So like, talking about likereal things that are my feelings
is uncomfortable for mesometimes.
But yeah, kyle can wait to askthe questions.
It was like so how do you wantto be pursued?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, I would love that, because I feel like
sometimes Ben's pursuing thewrong and I'm not loving it.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Oh, kyle, totally was and it's been amazing.
So I told him actually I don'tlike when he says no to me off
the bat which he does all thetime about anything, that like
shuts me completely down.
I just don't feel heard at all.
I do that to Ben, it's like mybiggest things and it's not what
(34:10):
you would think.
It's not doing the dishes, it'snot anything.
I just want to feel heard, likeif I ask something, I don't
even care if it's yes right away.
I just don't want to hear theno right off the bat.
I don't want the attitude, Ijust want you to hear me.
And then it was like more, Ilike words of affirmation.
So like sometimes I think he'smissing all the things that are
being done, you know, and that'sreally it.
(34:32):
He made me text him to himbecause he wanted to like go
back to it, which was cute,kyle's like rule by the book.
So it was that it was.
Let me see.
And then, um, oh, think of myneeds too.
Sometimes I'm always I'm feellike I'm bad, but I take care of
all of his needs.
I noticed if he's eaten.
I've noticed if he's got enoughsleep.
I noticed if he needs hislaundry done, like I noticed all
(34:54):
of his needs, and he justnotices his needs too.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I'm trying to think what mine is.
You know what I think.
Sometimes I feel like hedoesn't like know me or pay
attention, like pay.
Like I could go to anyrestaurant and order exactly
what Ben would like and I knowwhat he likes because I just
know him.
And sometimes I feel like hedoesn't, like he would plan a
(35:19):
dinner at a place I hate, like Ihate Asian food.
Why would you plan that?
Speaker 1 (35:23):
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I don't feel like.
Planning things for you is hisstrength.
Well, I hate all his plans, soyeah, yeah, I don't think that,
but I do think he knows you.
We talked about this the otherday Because Tisha just got mad
about it, like he tried tosurprise her with something and
she ate surprises and and shehates surprises and it was like
nothing I would ever want.
Yeah, but I feel like he knowsyou more, like in certain ways,
than Kyle knows me.
(35:43):
But it's me and Ben are thesame and you and Kyle are the
same.
Like I feel like he always canmake you laugh when you're mad.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
I think Kyle makes me more mad when I'm mad.
Yeah, like that's one of ourbiggest things.
Our fights are not overanything that big, they're small
things that I don't feel heardand I want to freak out Like,
because I don't feel like hegets me.
But I feel like Kyle can plananything for me and he would
nail it.
Yeah for sure, totally getslike what I like, what I like,
that's what it is what I like,yes, that's what it is, but you
(36:11):
get him and Kyle gets me, but Iget like who he is.
I know what will calm him down.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yes, he does do that, yes, and I know like when he's
stressed what he needs.
But he doesn't know what I like, ever I don't know what Kyle
likes either.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
really, though, yeah.
Like a little but not as goodas he knows.
He can nail anything for melike that.
Right right, that's how I am.
Yeah, but how would you want tobe pursued?
I don't know If Ben does A, band C.
What really makes you happy?
I feel like the coffee is one.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Yeah, I feel like he does things I don't know.
I feel pursued.
Yeah, I think he does pursue.
Yeah, like he fills my gas tankup, that makes me happy.
Washes my car, he takes care ofme, that makes me feel very,
yeah, secure.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yes, he does take care of.
Oh good, it's made, cause I'mnot going to make it for myself.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah, yeah, kyle.
They talked about, too, howimportant it is for a man to
feel like admired by his wife,like that what he's going and
doing is being appreciated andthat anyone in the world can
(37:15):
critique them.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
But when the wife does, it really affects their
self-esteem well, we weretalking to our clients yesterday
and they said the cutest thingfirst yeah, it was, and we
walked to the car tell the story.
Okay, so we were going to theirhouse and they were just so
cute interacting.
The whole time, so respectfulso respectful, but like even
there was a time she was doingsomething and he was like, no,
no, wait.
(37:36):
But it was very respectful.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I'd be like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (37:39):
you know totally and so after we were like you guys
are so cute, what is your?
And they've been married 27years.
And they said, which is soadmirable.
They said we've never saidanything mean to each other,
even in joking around, becausethere's always some truth and
even if you said it in a joking,it'd make the other person
wonder oh, oh, was this true?
(38:00):
And they were like all bets areoff with the kids.
We're rude to the kids, we'recalling them dumb ass, but we
would never say and he goes.
She would never say to me whatare you an idiot, are you being
a dumb ASS?
And he goes.
That would be like a knife inthe heart.
And so that's so true.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
We both walked to the car and I was all bloop, bloop,
bloop and.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
I was picturing the surprise that Ben did that I
hated and I was like you idiot,why would you do that?
You know, like berating him,yeah, I was like that was the
worst choice, like I hate it.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
You know yeah, it's funny because that's what they
talked about at church is beingintentional and nothing is more
important than your marriage.
But you have, like so often inlife, we just show up for our
marriage.
We just like he's like, if youjust show up for work and didn't
work all day, would you begetting successful?
Would you be he's like if youjust showed up for your kids and
hope they get to school, right,hope, like he's like.
That's what we do with ourmarriages.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
We just put them on autopilot and wonder why they're
not like if you're not activelyfeeding it, going on vacations
or doing day yeah, or making arule yeah that because I think
you can cut harder and morepainful with your marriage than
you can with anything else.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
So like when I do I have a tongue, that's my bad
thing.
It's like when I get hurt, Iwant to hurt back.
Yeah, I think that was fromyears of me not sticking up for
myself.
I'm really going to stick upfor myself now.
You're really nailing it, butit's sad because he didn't do
any of those bad things to methat those other people did.
But I have to really work on mytongue.
I want to make sure I'm alwaysputting life into Kyle and like
(39:26):
telling him because he is sowonderful and like he is a
really hard worker and he doesprovide very well, and I want
him to always know that wereally appreciate that.
It's funny, though.
What you love about each otherand what you like are intrigued.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
It was what drives you crazy too yeah, because
ben's so type a and oh, the typea drives me nuts oh we had a
horrible so the so at the end ofthe day, ken and bear have to
pick up fox from his classroomand then they walk into the
neighborhood where I picked themup.
Well, they fight about who hasto get him, and it's rude, and
(39:58):
they do it in front of him.
I don't want to get him, I will, you get him?
I got him yesterday and so Benand I were done with it and we
and Ben went.
Ben had to take him to schoolone day cause I had to go do
something, and so he does thisthing where, like, nothing
bothers him until he's dealingwith it.
So on the way to school hefinally heard the fighting and
so he was raging.
So he, he, he, and so he wasraging.
So he called me and he's likeit's so rude, they're being mean
(40:20):
to him and it makes him feelbad.
And his little buddy no one'smessing with his buddy.
So he was going crazy and hewent crazy on.
Bear took his phone, like wentcrazy, but it was warranted.
It's rude and we don't likestand for that with each other,
like we really try to make themtreat each other good.
Yeah, so then, yeah, so.
(40:42):
Then later that night bear camein from playing football in the
grass at the park with all hisbuddies for like two hours, and
so he was covered in grass andhe walked in the house and grass
went everywhere.
And then ben acted the sameabout the grass as he did, being
mean to your brother and liketo me.
It's like a 10 and a 2.
And if you're always in troubleabout dumb things, it's like
(41:03):
then the big trouble abouttreating your brother.
It loses like efficacy.
You know what I mean Big wordLike effectiveness,
effectiveness, effectiveness, oh, okay, because, oh, I'm going
to get yelled at about grass,and it's like he didn't
intentionally do it.
He just didn't think he I'mgoing to get y'all out about
grass, and it's like he didn'tintentionally do it.
He just didn't think he's a boy, he's running in you know, and
(41:24):
so I'm like you need to likecalm down.
So, but like to your point, Doeshe listen to you?
Yes, we did.
I had a talk and then he toldme sorry, I just had just done
the floors.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
And like he's the house, I'll say level one, level
one, level one like, butcertain things really trigger
him.
But sometimes I think, all thelike he likes to get everything
done right away and I'm likethis doesn't matter.
But then I'm like if he wasn'tlike that, nothing would get
done, and even the budget.
Now that I'm on team budget,I'm like listening to Dave
Ramsey and literally everythingthey're saying is what Kyle's
(42:03):
been saying to me, right, andI'm like, gosh, he's always
right, yeah, but I don't likehim to be always right, which is
stupid.
I should just listen to him.
But it's funny, like what Godputs you with is like what you
need, and I'm misindependent,like a counterpart, yeah, and I
think sometimes we like getannoyed at that stuff, but it's
like what I don't do that withyou, though, back to our love,
(42:25):
love life, but like you'reopposite me in a lot of ways,
but I already know that thathelps me.
You don't get on my nerves.
You like to get things done thesame, you kind of nag me about
things and I'm not annoyed.
Yeah, why is that?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
I know, I mean, I feel like you get me Ben,
doesn't you know?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I know it's weird, yeah, but I think sometimes,
like a lot of they say inmarriage, always assume the best
in each other.
Yeah, and it's weird.
I think sometimes it's easy toassume the worst in each other.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Or when other people are getting you.
You think this person must notbe right for me.
To my friend Kara, shout outshe's not a jerky, but I think
she's a jerky.
Now she's becoming a jerk.
Yeah, kara, welcome.
Anyways, we were talking and Iwas telling her about the thing
he did and she goes why didn'the just call me or call Crystal?
We would have said she's notgonna like that.
Yeah, you know.
And and I was like, yeah, youget it, she gets it.
Yeah, and then it makes you morelike what well, you can start
spiraling.
Or if your friend friend waslike, yeah, he doesn't get you,
(43:21):
you know, and it's like Ben isso right for me in every way,
totally Just because he doesn'tget.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I know.
Thank God you don't havefriends like that, though that's
what I mean, because they couldtag team you in a totally
different way, but people dothat or they was like a big
(43:51):
turning point in our marriagewas around the time we talk
about like Lincoln, him leavinghis family business.
Later I ended up kind ofleaving mine.
It was bad.
There was a lot of outsidestress on our plates and of
course, that makes your marriagecontentious.
Is that the right word?
Yeah, like like it's stress.
Yeah, and at that point I wasgetting real done.
I was like I'm done, da, da da.
(44:12):
I told my brother I'm done withthis.
It was just like more stress onmy plate and that's like my
brother was like this is themost important thing to you.
You need to go to marriagecounseling, you need to figure
this out, and I'm so thankfulthat he went that way rather
than be done.
You're right.
Yeah, because you could havelistened, because my brother and
I agree on everything.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
We're the same and you trust him and you know he
wants the best for you.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
So like you could have listened and the things
that were probably irritating mewere probably irritating my
brother, because we're the sameright, but he but he still
always has Kyle's back.
My mom always has Kyle's back.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
I always have his back.
Yeah, you always have Ben's.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, but I think sometimes it's easy.
That's the only time I've toldthem, but I was really done and
I needed outside help, right,and it really.
(45:05):
Once we got down, starting offwith church, not running around
to sports all day, like just,and then like meeting each
other's needs, we went to themovies that night.
It was so fun.
We saw Den of Thieves it was sogood, is it?
I never saw the first one.
I didn't either, or I don'tremember it.
You need to see the first one,okay, because I was annoyed.
I was like dang, I wish I wouldhave watched it.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
It was really good, I'm gonna plan a date night.
Yeah, maybe that's how I'd wantto be pursued too, like plan
something.
But I don't really like hisplans, so never mind no, I think
, just going.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
You want to plan it, but you guys want to make it a
priority.
To go, yes, because and qualitytime is I'm.
So quality time.
Oh see, and I'm not.
I like quality time.
I was reading when you weretalking.
My third one was I'm all.
Thank you, I'm just kidding, nono, cause people are texting
about work and it's closing.
But no, it was no, I said I wasgoing to look it up.
It was alone time.
I like recharge alone and helikes recharge with me.
(45:54):
So sometimes, sometimes I'vehad a day and I just want to be
alone and he takes it personal.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
He's like me yeah.
He likes quality time.
He does like quality time.
That's why I'm always planningexperiences, because it's like a
way for us to spend timetogether, the family, ben and I.
I love an experience together.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
It's like our quality time, you know it's like no
one's working, no one's you know, yeah, kyle's probably like
that too, and I'm like, okay,cool, we've been together now.
Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yeah, I like to be alone.
Yeah, he does like to be withyou all the time.
He's never doing anything.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
No, and like in the room with me following me, like
you're, you know, like he loves,and that's really sweet, really
sweet.
But I like to be alone.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
So sometimes it that's pursuing me.
Leave me alone, yeah, and thenI'll do the happy dance.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
You know, we know you're doing that anyway.
So All right, let's sum it upJudd's almost asleep.
Oh Well, we'll see you guysnext week.
Pursue your husband in thebedroom, let him go downstairs.
Tish, come on.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Yeah, maybe that's on his list, you know.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
It probably is.
Why it probably is.
Why is something a no?
Speaker 2 (46:58):
It's not a no, it's just not going to happen every
day.
Like you, your house, it's likea free-for-all, like who's
eating what?
It's like what's going on.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
That's wrong, edit.
All right, guys, we'll see younext week.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
See you next week.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you
feel better about yourself,because we're a mess just like
you, and Crystal makes fun of methe whole time and it's great
and it's real.
Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you
feel better about yourself,because we're a mess just like
you, and Crystal makes fun of methe whole time and it's great
and it's real.
Welcome to Jerking Around,welcome, oh my goodness.
(00:26):
No we already said that lastweek, I know, but there was
another one.
We gotta move on.
We're live, don't show yourtanning hand.
Oh, yeah, it's so orange.
Yeah, he's just spray tanned.
Yeah.
And she got a new sweatshirtfor today and she did this toner
to her hair.
That looks amazing.
The at home.
She's really doing it today.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I know, new year, new you.
I know I actually like doing myhair at home better.
I don't I.
It's like a whole production togo.
It was nice just in the shower.
It's done you know yeah,totally.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
So, I think it's great.
Yeah, all right, there's somuch to talk about, so much, so
obviously we got to make thisepisode go quicker, but the LA
fires is a big trending topicright now, right it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Everyone knows what it is, but if they didn't, if
they live under a rock, la is onfire.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, la was on fire, not just
LA, the Palisades, la Calabasas.
All over different areas, jay-zand Beyonce's house Seven
different different areas jay-zand beyonce's house was like
seven different is beingevacuated.
No, that might have been fake.
Yeah, that's what's hard nowwith ai.
I don't know if everything's asreal I mean, whoever knows if
it's ever real, right but I dothink the fires weren't natural
(01:35):
no, they said it was arson.
Yeah, yeah but I feel like wedon't really know the truth and
a lot going on with the governorand the fire chief and oh my
goodness.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
And they're blaming that immigrant.
They caught him with the canlike and they're like he's an
immigrant derogatory no, I'msaying he like he immigrated
here.
That's what they're saying.
Yeah, I'm not trying to bederogatory.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I'm saying he's non.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
He immigrated here.
What's a better word?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
but I don't know yeah , it's fine illegal, that sounds
worse, just moving on, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
So why are they saying that?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
that's what I'm saying.
Oh, just one guy.
There's like 50 of them right,there's so many videos.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I'm saying they're saying that he, why do you think
they're doing the fires?
Well, I mean, I don't know.
They're saying that.
They meaning Instagram, oursource of news that LA is one of
the cities that wants to becomea smart city, which is like,
basically, they're saying thatthey meaning Instagram, our
source of news that LA is one ofthe cities that wants to become
a smart city, which is likebasically redoing the whole
infrastructure.
So there's no quicker way toget rid of it, like demolishing
(02:36):
all that stuff.
It's just like if they justburn it down, it might be easier
to rebuild, because theOlympics is going to be here in
a few years oh, really, yeah, infour years.
So they're saying In LA, yes,and so they're saying there was
no room for it, and so allegedlyso.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Would the governor have something to do with that
then?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yes, because he brings the so they're saying
allegedly there was no room forthe Olympics, so they wanted a
smart city, so they burned it,that's the.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
This is off topic, but are we going to go to Chino
today?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Oh my gosh, please.
I don't know.
I'm trying not to eat bad, allright, I just like off the rails
for Christmas, you know?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah, it just sounds so good, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Okay, so who knows that's what is the word on the
street?
Okay, my sources.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
My next question is do you think what tell me about
the insurance?
Cause what I heard about theinsurance because what I heard
about the insurance and what youtold me were different I feel
like yours is more what did youhear about how they canceled?
I thought it was just so wrongthat they canceled all those
insurance policies, but you saidthere was a reason or something
yes, so the policies put inplace by the government was that
(03:41):
they couldn't raise the ratesto cover future potential risk.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So the insurance companies would have lost money
if they provided coverage,because they had to do it based
off of, like old assessed riskand not future risk.
Why couldn't they raise therates?
Because the government saidthey couldn't, but we got our
rates raised On this particularfire.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yes, prior to couldn't.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
So, but we got our rates raised On this particular
fire, yes, prior to the fire,right, so they dropped fire.
They didn't drop everyinsurance, they dropped fire,
but that's not weird.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So weird.
Yeah, that's so weird.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
But again, this is what's being said, so who knows
if it's true Exactly Alleged,allegedly.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Alleged, alleged, alleged, alleged.
We got taken off of TikTok in afew hours last night, so we're
really in big trouble.
My question, though, is do allthose people lose everything?
Then?
Spencer Pratt is really upset.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Did you see?
Heidi has a number one song.
Heidi's streaming.
I know I didn't do it, but I'mgonna do it.
You know, support Heidi, streamit.
Yeah, oh yeah, I'll pay for it.
And he.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
He's like real mad.
People are giving Mandy Mooremoney and not him Really.
Yeah, Mandy Moore supposedlyhas a GoFundMe and Spencer's
like.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I'm getting For herself.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I think so, oh yeah.
So Spencer's real mad.
He wants a GoFundMe.
Yeah, oh good.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Is this the info?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Oh, thank you.
Biden announces a one-time $770payment for California wildfire
victim.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, and that's what people were saying that's not
even going to buy you, likegroceries in California it's
such a weird number too.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Why not a thousand dollars, right?
That's it.
Oh my gosh, thank you, that'scrazy, I know.
Yeah, well, like Spencer, didhe have insurance?
I don't know, I don't know.
It's really sad, sad.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
If you think about losing everything, I feel bad
for all, all of them, likeeverything, like all the stuff
that you can't buy again well,we live by like a field of
desert and I was thinking likeif it caught fire like our house
would go and I was you're gonnastart worrying about this.
I was worrying about it as I'mall as phoenix on on list to be
a smart city, we are.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So I was like Ooh, I know, but some people have
nowhere to go and if you have nosavings, I could live with you,
thankfully, but we're close.
I think if you're going, you'rea fire.
My house is going to, totally,I know, but like it is important
.
I'm in a save money um time ofmy life, just starting it,
(06:09):
though I haven saved much yet.
Great though, but I'm reallytrying to not spend.
We talked about it last week.
It was so stupid in one day,like you don't realize, like a
Starbucks here and a and a go tocanes there, and it's $50.
So I keep wondering why I feellike I'm not saving money, and
now I'm starting to see theproblem.
So I've been listening to DaveRamsey a lot too, which does
change your like.
Think you when they say, likehang out with smart people,
it'll make you smarter, or likesuccessful people, it'll make
you better?
I do feel like listening, notthat I always agree with
(06:32):
everything, but it does changemy mindset.
I'm like, okay, do I need this,do I need that?
But it is crazy, though, whenyou comes to these things, if
you don't have savings, how doyou live?
Do you put the hotel on thecredit card and go broke when
you're already in such a diresituation.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
It's like so sad when waiting for the payouts which I
did read something that theyhave to approve like an instant
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah, they need something and the hotels are
being like overrun.
It's just really sad.
It's awful.
The fires is a big thing.
I kind of feel like now, whenwe talk, I picture the clips and
I'm so nervous about them.
Is that why you were being soweird?
Oh, it's awful, yeah, but I'mkind of like you messed with the
(07:16):
wrong people this time.
That's kind of like you might,you know, like the people, those
houses who lost their houses.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
They have money and like I feel like this one isn't
going to be brushed over aseasily, like the people in North
Carolina, from the peoplealready forgot about the
hurricane.
It's awful, and now they'relike in the freezing
temperatures, homeless.
It's horrible.
But, yeah, I do feel like, yeah, what's happening with those
people?
Right, well, they're facinglike record breaking freezing
(07:41):
temperatures with no homes, andso it's crazy because now the
focus is on the fires and atleast with the celebrity
coverage, I feel like it won'tkind of just go away, although
Maui it's like people moved on.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I know Maui is sad.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Everyone's moved on.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It's horrible.
Well, they were saying how longit's taking to rebuild.
But then in Florida, this isagain an Instagram.
They remember those stormsyears ago, the?
Then in Florida, this is againan Instagram.
Um, they, they remember thosestorms years ago, the hurricanes
in Florida, I guess one of themain bridges came down and he
had it rebuilt like within areally quick amount of time.
I'm probably wrong, but like amonth.
Right, it was crazy.
I was like wow, yeah, but likewhen you really put your
(08:18):
resources towards it, it canchange really quickly.
Yeah, I think it just dependswhat they want to do more on our
trending topics or topics thatpiss some of you off.
Um, did you guys hear about ourjerky?
You guys Cause he shouldn'tlisten.
But I've been really listeningto Joe Rogan lately and he's
such a good interviewer.
Like there's some people thathave it and some that don't.
(08:40):
I think that's part of call herdaddy, I want to be on Joe
Rogan one day.
Oh it's.
He's so entertaining, he's sointeresting to me.
Um, and I think call her daddy,that's her thing.
She's a very good interviewer.
She has like the good, yeah,and like Oprah is a good
interviewer, like she asks whatyou're thinking.
So I feel like Joe Rogan's areally good interviewer, but
they were talking about how muchFacebook was censored during
(09:01):
COVID and it's mind blowing thethings he's saying.
I'm not going to quote itbecause I typically get things
wrong when I quote him, becauseI have some issues, but if you
guys are curious, I would listento the Joe Rogan, mark
Zuckerberg, as well as Joe Loganand Elon Musk.
I'm still thinking about therobot, though.
Last week, tisha and I Jet washere we cried about the robot
(09:28):
for like I thought about it likethree days later, me too.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I can't get over it.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And I'm still thinking about the robot.
It's so funny.
It's crazy that all the AI stuffout there though it's almost
like scary, like how there waslike a video Almost it's fully
scary Of a robot being arrestedat an airport and it was like
beating the guy up and I waslike how are you going to arrest
a robot?
And it's just like crazy Causemy car is so smart.
I know the Tesla, I recentlygot a Tesla and I didn't really
care about Tesla.
(09:51):
But have you ever met peoplethat are like pro Tesla, like my
uncle is like, yeah, I'm one ofthem now, but like my uncle is
like that?
He's like, aren't you Like it'slike some people that my
brother is like a pro Tesla?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, it's like once you drink the Kool-Aid, you're
it's like Apple Once you have an.
Apple phone.
Once you have an iPhone, you'renot not having Apple.
You can't not have Apple Like Icouldn't go get like a.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Dell computer no, and I liked the Dell.
I was anti Mac years ago.
No, the, the Tesla is so smart.
So now I'm like I kind of trustthe robots, but it's just scary
, they have so much power.
And then the chip.
Did you see three people havebeen chipped already in the
brain?
No, yeah, to see like what itdoes.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But why would you want?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
to do that, I know.
But like if, if I'm not smartfrom AI, so I'm not going to get
chipped, then I'm just the onlylike you know.
Yeah, for sure, I already feellike that sometimes, and so now
I'm going to be like that, likeit's.
It's hard.
I mean I'm so scared of themark of the beast that I won't
do it.
But how do you not Like, ifyour brain's that smart, it's
crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I think there's a line you can't go past the line
of like joining man and robot.
It's just not what God like.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I know.
But if you think about it likewhen we first put in, like I
know, but if you think about itlike when we first put in, like
my dad had a defibrillator, itlike beats his heart and it zaps
him yeah, so it's like the frogeffect right, like slowly,
we're doing these small thingswhere we're putting medical
devices in our body and we'retrusting them and I think if
we're not careful right, yearslater, our whole body is we are
(11:24):
the robot.
Yeah, it's careful.
Right years later, our wholebody is we are the robot.
Yeah, it's crazy creepy.
What would you miss most aboutyour body if you were a robot?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
wait, like if I had to pick pick a replacement no,
probably someone um I get likehard abs.
You know robot abs.
Let's flop those out.
You know it's fine robot boobs.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Would they be soft the nipples all like spraying.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
My boobs are so small , but would you want robot boobs
?
They're like robot boobs rightnow.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
No, but like, would they spray, like milk?
No, you know, would we all bedrinking robot milk?
There's no robot milk.
The robots are crazy, though.
Would you buy one?
No See, I think I would.
I feel like you would too.
I kind of want one.
I know, like if it would cookclean and like if I win the
(12:11):
lottery, I'll buy you a robot.
I want the robot really bad.
Yeah, kim, did you see?
It's like while the fires arehappening and people are
evacuating.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I saw her playing outside with the robot.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I know like we're not really famous, so I don't feel
like we need to address itbefore, but it like was going.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Like it was going on, because you know how things
post for days, so then peoplewere seeing it when the fires
were watching.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
My mom likes to watch the old kardashian episodes and
they were so good.
I know cute.
It's sad they were such a cute.
Family was a guy.
Yeah, they look so different.
I loved bruce.
I I know he was like Normal.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, it's weird and like a dad, it's like sad.
Now he's not even like a dad.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I don't want to talk about so much celebrity trending
topics, but I have to talkabout the P Diddy documentary on
Prime.
I think it's on Amazon.
I could be wrong.
Kyle told me Kyle's listening.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
My husband.
He's finally back.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
He was our number one jerky and then he went away.
Yeah, he got offended because Italked bad about him once.
Yeah, he did.
He got real mad.
He wouldn't listen.
Well, ben could never listen.
He'd be like but now he's likeback and he's like um, I forgot
my point the jerkeys.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
No, you were saying Kyle the conspiracies I forgot
Dang it.
I hate that.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Oh P Diddy, oh yeah, oh, he got mad because I got it
it.
I hate that.
Oh P Diddy, oh yeah, oh, he gotmad because I got it wrong.
I said a few weeks ago JasonKelsey with Taylor Swift and I
get stuff wrong all the time.
It's who I am, but when we'retalking I didn't even think
about it.
But when I'm listening I'm soannoyed every time I hear that
one that I said it wrong on theinternet.
It's yeah, totally look like anidiot.
Yeah, but anyways, pdddocumentary I don't know which
(13:45):
one it was on, it wasn't onnetflix, I know that.
Um, I don't think, but it'sreally interesting.
The dynamic you guys shouldlisten the dynamic between him
and tupac.
It's crazy like remember backwhen we were young, the rap was
like serious because it was likebloods and crips.
Yeah, remember it was like.
Remember bone thug againstharmony, people were getting
(14:07):
shot.
Yes, it was like you gotta watch, though it's like he's in the
center of all of it really.
Yes, like knowingly, like therewas a shootout with him there.
He got arrested and then his,his um, one of his close people,
took the hit for it.
Like he went to jail for it.
Yeah, it's crazy.
And then it talks about so manythings, but it's like a
(14:28):
documentary on on a publicchannel, so it's not like all of
it's.
There's gotta be data to prove.
So then it talks about how hegot into Hollywood and how he
started, you know, and withyounger um ladies.
No, like I mean, I think in thedocumentary it talks about
Justin Bieber having, how he hadcustody of him for 48 hours.
(14:50):
That's still so mind-blowing.
Why would anyone give some?
I would never give anyonecustody of my kids for 48 hours.
Why do you need custody?
Why can't he just go hang outfor 48 hours?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Or like four hours, and he had.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Usher, since he was like 11.
Yeah, and Usher said the thingshe saw orgies and stuff.
Yeah, I keep thinking so.
We love doing the podcast, butnow that we're getting feedback
it messes with us so much.
Oh, it's horrible.
So someone in my life was likeI heard your podcast is raunchy
and dirty and it talks about sex.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And orgies.
You're talking about orgies?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, and so we're still going to talk about that
stuff, though Tisha has a bigexperience she wants to share
about this weekend no.
I don't, and letting Ben godownstairs.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah, well, you need to start.
I know that's what this isabout today.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Jet and I talked and we're having an intervention.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, chet's real worried about my.
He is, but watch theDocumentary.
I think there's two more thingsI want to talk about Kristen
Cavallari talking about MorganWallen being her F buddy
Interesting.
I know I, as a mom of Two girls, don't want to tell anyone
about my F buddy, but maybe someof my podcast, my
mother-in-law's like some ofthose Stories you're not going
to want out there because yourkids Are going to listen.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I don't disagree Because I worry about the
stories, you know.
I mean, I'm not talking aboutan F buddy, but some stories I'm
like oh, you're way more tameabout your past stories than I
am.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I tell all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I'm.
I don't have a lot of paststories.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
This is liar.
Let's be honest, you have justas many.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You're just not telling it was weirdly proud of
having an F buddy.
It was weirdly proud of havingan F buddy, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And I was like oh it just is like yeah, I feel like
it's just kind of getting around, you know, but she's fine with
it.
Yeah she said that she's datingsomeone new well, she said a
non-negotiable is they have tohave a vasectomy because she
doesn't want to have to use awhat?
Yeah, it's just a lot ofinformation we're on a clip.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You saw that, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
Did you hear she like messagedkevin costner?
Did you see someone else?
No, someone older is withsomeone young and I was like
that's kind of adorable.
Who Was it?
Kevin Costner?
No, it was someone like evenbetter.
I got to find it it was reallyinteresting.
Interesting.
Okay, the last thing I want totalk about.
(17:06):
I don't really care about thisas much, but you're really into
the drones?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
You've been wanting to talk about for we go.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
We can't make this a clip we just.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
this is just for the jerkies that aren't going to sue
me.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Okay, allegedly.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Allegedly so.
The drones, so Trump?
Everyone's been seeing thesedrones all over.
They're in all these cities.
There's all these clips ofpeople on airplanes taking
pictures.
Who knows if it's real, butallegedly.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
It's a lot, though, there lot, though.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
There's a lot and it's even now on like the New
York post.
It's on all these things.
Well, trump, no one'saddressing it and it is weird.
Why is no one addressing theUFOs?
It's like what's going on?
And now, because I've seen somany, my Instagram feed is full
of UFOs.
It's like take me to yourleader, like it's so UFO.
But Trump said when he gets anoffice, he's going to address
(17:56):
the drones.
So I'm interested to see whathe says.
I don't think he's going totell the truth and I don't want
to say what I think the truth is, because I feel like it might
be a little like she's Doomsday.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Crazy or crazy?
Yeah, I feel like people, butmy brother's thought I'm crazy
many times.
He's like when around theelection.
Yeah, he can never hear thisabout all the things that you're
talking about, the things thatnow are coming out.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
That are true.
Yes, I know.
Yeah, mark Zuckerberg.
It's like hello Duh, it wascensored.
No one didn't think it wascensored.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
People didn't think it was censored.
I know people in our life thatdid not think it was censored.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
But they probably still don't think, even though
he's fully saying it, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
He's is like, if I'm going to disagree with someone
and they tell me to go here, Iwould go there just for the sake
of like a good discussion,right.
But, like some people, I feellike it's like go listen to the
podcast out of Mark Zuckerberg'smouth, right, and then tell me
what you think, and they'll belike, yeah, I'm not going to
listen.
It's like a learned naivenessLike they're fine with it,
(18:55):
they're fine with what theybelieve it.
Naiveness like they're finewith it, they're fine with what
they believe it's being wrong.
Though I love to like learn.
Yeah, me too.
Like I would want to learn bothsides.
Yeah, I've, I've changed a loton certain things because I've
listened to the other side, or Ilike was like yeah, you're
right, that does make sense,right, you know?
Yeah, I don't know it'sinteresting.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It's interesting, but yeah, I do want to know about
the drones, because should I say, or is it too weird?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I think you'll regret it if it's public and I don't
want to keep editing.
You're making me edit so much,so don't say it.
If, five hours later, you'regoing to call me and tell me,
take it out, okay, I won't.
So let's save that for later,when you're more comfortable and
we get less hate.
Okay, the hate has subsided.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I feel like it can't be a clip, but like it could be
on the podcast, maybe in a fewweeks yeah, okay, let's talk
about real life now.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Okay, I listen a lot and I actually the podcast about
my dad and Thanksgiving was agood one.
Daddy's dads again was one ofmy favorites.
If you haven't listened, listento dads again.
It's such a funny episode.
But the last one was actuallyreally good too.
I think sometimes we try totalk about trending topics
because I know sometimes I wantto like talk about it with my
(19:58):
girlfriend, yeah, and so we tryto be your girlfriends that you
can talk to us about.
But let's talk about real lifeChurch this weekend and we talk
about conspiracies a lot andthose are real life.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
We talk about this stuff every day, but we're not a
conspiracy podcast, so that'swhere it kind of dances.
You know, we can be whateveryou want.
Yeah, I was going to start aconspiracy podcast with my dad
because he's like the OG.
And I told him like years ago,like after COVID, I was like
because he's so smart, he's thesmartest person I've ever met my
biological dad I have two dadsbut he I was like we should do a
(20:29):
podcast of and you just liketell people what you know.
And then I was like we're goingto get killed.
So we never did.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
And here we are, yeah , yeah, feeling good.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Yeah, tell us about it.
We should have him on one time,can you?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
explain that you have two dads, though A little bit,
yeah, because people mightwonder if they were together
dads again.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah, dads again.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, so explain a little bit about that so.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I have a biological and then they.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
He was with your mom.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He was with my mom.
They got divorced when I wassuper young, and then she met my
stepdad when I was two, andthen he raised me too.
So I have had two dads since Iwas two.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
I love it, by the way .
Yeah, I think that's a topicthat people, especially in
what's it called Multifamilyyeah, like when you get
remarried I love like they'retotally equal to you.
Yeah, and it's so differentwhich one walked you down the
aisle, or how'd you do that?
They both did on each side.
Yeah, See, I love that BecauseI think sometimes, like I have,
I am around a lot of young girlsthese days and I get to hear
(21:28):
different stories about familydynamics, Right, and I do think
that's a topic that comes up is,you know, if they are parents
are separated and they'reremarried and there's tension
between those two families, it'sreally hard for kids, you know,
if they love both, they don'twant to hurt one's feelings, so
I love that.
I don't feel like you're you'rebiological dad's threatened by
no.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I don't think they've either.
They respect and maybe insidethey have feelings towards each
other.
I'm sure there are feelings ofwhatever, but they've never put
them on me or like talked badabout each other.
Yeah so, but I feel like thathas taught me for my like today.
Cj posted the mom thing I lovedit and he put both of us and
(22:07):
like.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
You're not threatened by that.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
No, we are both his moms, it's not.
Yeah, I love that.
There's no competition, we'rejust different you know?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah, you're right.
Isn't that weird?
How god does that?
Like you went through this,through it and then you
understand it way more thananyone else would.
Totally, that's so crazy, Iknow.
Not knowing that you would.
Yeah, yeah, I do, I saw that.
I think tj cj is the best.
That was cute.
I know he's so cute none of myother kids they're like I think
it's cool, though, to appreciatethat someone else loves your
kids so much.
(22:36):
Totally, you know what I what Imean and like is there for your
kid.
But I know in in friends ofmine that are divorced there's
tensions there.
It's hard, yeah.
So I think it's super cool foryou.
Okay, moving on church thisweek Tisha didn't go cause she's
not been going, but no, I thinkactually you've been going more
, I have not been going.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
We did make a thing for 2025, but it didn't start
strong no, no, I'm all maybewhat's devotional and it's been
going really great, good, so Ifeel like I am starting the year
stronger.
Yes, yes, but I do need to gothere, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
So Kyle and I, we have been not great about it, um
, about getting to church withsports and stuff, which is the
lamest excuse, but at CCV, ourchurch that we both go to um,
they did talk about new year tryto make it three out of four
weeks, which I love because Iyou know me new year all the
goals are happening, goalsgalore.
Yeah, we're goal city right now.
Yeah, um, but we've beenwatching a lot.
(23:41):
If we don't make it, which Iactually like, and sometimes
it'll be, I think around theholidays there was some songs
and things and I was emotionalabout my dad and everything.
Yeah, that works for me well,because I think sometimes you
know if you go you're going tobe emotional and at home I'm not
as embarrassed.
In church it's awkward whenyou're doing that, I'm not
crying yeah yeah and um.
(24:01):
This week was so good and theypaid my best song battle belongs
.
It was to start.
And there's something soemotional about actually going
to church.
Like I don't think.
I think I get the same out ofthe message I sing at home just
like I'm worshiping, right, butwhen you walk in the building I
don't know it's yeah, you forgetlike how good that is.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And there's no distractions at home.
The kids are running in.
It's like you can look at yourphone, it's just different.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
A lot more yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Present yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
The service is.
The series is about marriage,which I love, which I love, and
this is interesting because Igot in a little bit of trouble,
because talking about sex andsomebody that hasn't listened to
our podcast just has heardabout it and saying, maybe you
know I'm not making the familylook great by talking about
these things, but Tisha and Ihave a passion for married
(24:48):
couples and knowing thateverything's not perfect in any
marriage, I think that's forsure, true, and I think that a
lot of times you're going to gothrough hills and valleys and if
you're in a valley thinkingyou're alone in the valley, we
want you to know everybody goesthrough valleys, don't give up,
right.
So it's really important for usto talk about sex, because it's
such a thing in marriage.
Ccv years ago did a marriageseries our church and they
(25:11):
talked about sex for a month.
Wasn't it a month?
I feel like it was a while wasit, yeah, when dawn was?
Yeah, it was when Don was thereand I never forgot it, and I
think growing up like this is asoapbox, but I grew up in a
church where you didn't have sexbefore you're married and
sometimes what that does is itmakes sex almost forbidden, so
that when you do it, I thinkthere can be times in Christian
(25:33):
or maybe other religions whereyou feel like a guilt about it
because even if you're marriedyes, because it was frowned upon
for so many years, like youweren't allowed yeah, there's
like a weird there's a guiltthat comes with it.
So I feel like once they talkedabout it at church, it kind of
helped me with that, becausemaybe I had that growing up
where I did feel like it was asin, but it's something so
beautiful from God, especially,like you know, if you let him,
(25:58):
yeah, go down there.
No, that's dirty and wrong, jay, I know, but no, everything's
different, but I think like it'ssuch a core part of marriage.
Yeah, and ashley talked aboutour pastor this weekend.
He talked about you know how aman feels pursued and in the
bedroom.
That's one key area right whichI am like fine with doing it
like Kyle has this thing, we'regoing for it.
(26:20):
Kyle has this thing where if Isay no, it makes him want to.
So bad, I'm Kyle.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I'm the same way when Ben, when we can't, I'm like
now, yes but, then when I can,I'm like yeah, when he's like
late for a meeting, I'm all hey,you know why I don't know it's
like, I don't know it's weird,and why am I the guy?
It's like you know you start ita lot, um no, well, so like I
(26:46):
know, when it's like been acouple days and he's wanting it.
Yeah, because I can just telllike I'm getting out of the
shower and there's the eyes youknow and I'm like you know.
But I will give the green light.
I don't like necessarily what'sthe green like?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
can we talk real?
Let's go.
You know, you just say that,like that with the thumb.
Yeah, let's go.
Like so are you naked when youdo?
Speaker 2 (27:07):
let's go or if I drop the kids off at school, come
home, he's about to leave.
I'm like do you have 10 minutes?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
you know.
So then do you guys both justtake off all your clothes and
jump in the bed, kind of reallyyeah oh, that's pretty fun.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah, yeah, and then it just when he can't.
It's more exciting.
It's like a challenge forthat's kyle every time I love a
challenge yeah, yeah, maybethat's it.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
It's, and like I don't say no that much.
So when I do, I really mean, no, is that bad, I don't really.
It's just so much easier, like,like you said, they're just so
much happier.
Oh, so I feel like I know thatsomething.
Just do it and then like, onceit starts, it's fine, oh, once
we get going it's great, yeah,but like to get there and,
honestly, for women, I feel likeso much of not wanting to have
(27:51):
sex or not feeling sexual is ourown body image.
Yes, like I've put on a fewholiday pounds and it makes it
changes like my whole vibe, likeI feel like and the guys don't
care, I know, but it's like hard, like same when I get out of
the shower.
He's looking and I feel like solike uncomfortable, right you?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
know it's weird, after I had a baby and he was
just as attracted to me then asright now and it's like 50
pounds difference.
It's like it's no difference tothem, but for some it's just
it's us, I know.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I wish I could let go of it, because I think
sometimes, so often in ourmarriage, sometimes what's
happening with us has nothing todo with him.
Totally Like, if I'm feelinginsecure or feeling bad about
myself, I'm so mean to him,which is weird, you would think
you'd want to lock him in, youknow, and be so nice, but like
it's hard.
So, yeah, right now I'm notfeeling and he's like, honestly,
so much to do with how nice youare, I really think, because
(28:43):
he's like so about it right nowand I'm like, ooh, I'm not
feeling like sexual yeah.
And then when I say no, it'slike, and that's not like in a
rape way, it's sounding weird,yeah, it is sounding weird.
No, like he'll turn it into ayes.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
That's how I am.
I'm like challenge accepted.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
So what do you do to get him to say yes?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Oh, I talk dirty.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Like what's your go-to.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Oh boy Grabbing.
You know I don't care, we'remarried.
You know what's your dirty talklike?
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You big, big boy, no we do have a trick.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
We're not saying the trick on here.
We have a couple choice.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I have a couple choice naughty words that I'll
use, and then it really gets himgoing, you know yeah, I'm
curious, if ever is dirty talkapproved, like, do you think all
married couples do dirty talk,or do you think only special
ones like you?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
because I don't you do too, oh, yours is, like you,
dirty.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
No, no, no, no no, but I know a lot of people that
don't do that.
So then I'm like am I weird?
So like I never did that itanyone but Ben?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
yeah, I.
But in marriage, I think wesometimes have a little dirty
talk.
It's not like vulgar.
I mean maybe it's vul, you're abad girl.
No, I'm just kidding.
We have the baby talk.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
We got the dirty talk .
Yeah, it does turn.
Huh, yeah, do you guys, babytalk, wait for real, it's like
wait, you're lying in thebedroom, baby talk, baby talk
and dirty talk collide and it'slike Like give me just a light
example.
Like you want your deweys, youbig girl, bad boy, I don't know.
No one wants to be called biggirl first of all.
(30:26):
No, never, never.
Big boy isn't bad, no, big girlis horrible.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Big boys like they, probably like that, yeah, yeah.
No, I do feel like the talkingsometimes can, if you want it to
speed up speed up speed thingsalong yeah, it does help or
doing anything kind of different.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, you can even throw your leg up, and it's a
different thing.
Sorry, jet, anyways, okay.
So at church they talked abouthow, like I said, I'm sometimes
like, yeah, let's do it, I orlike whatever, but I'm not
always like the initiator LikeI'm.
I'm sometimes like, yeah, let'sdo it or like whatever, but I'm
not always like the initiator.
Yes, like I'm not always thatRight.
So I think that's what I coulddo.
Better is like start it.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
See, I feel like Ben will initiate, but I have to
kind of give the green lightbecause I think he's worried
he's going to get turned down.
So oh, he's like scared toinitiate, Not scared, scared,
but no, are you nice to him?
No, no, I know.
Is he safe?
No, but if I'm in a mood hewon't initiate if he knows I'm
in the mood.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Oh, so you kind of have to like help start it along
to know it's a go.
Yes, why, if he initiates?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
it and you're not in the mood.
Does he get in trouble?
No, but I think he feels likerejected, rejected, and he
doesn't love that feeling.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I do think that's a thing.
Yeah, what's funny is, if Iwant to and he doesn't, do you
feel rejected?
I don't, I'm like, okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I don't feel like that ever happens.
You know, really, I've neverbeen like wanting it and he
doesn't.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Well, I've been like want to, and he's like, yeah, I
don't know, I'm kind of tired.
I'm like, okay, yeah, Iwouldn't feel rejected by that,
yeah, I don't.
But if I did that to him, Ithink sometimes, oh, they
totally do.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, they're way more sensitive.
I was talking to a friend onceand she was like he.
She was complaining that indoing it she has to act really
like into it or he doesn't wantto do it and I'm like that's the
pressure.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
No, that's the pressure, yeah, which is a nice
guy because, let's be real,there's plenty guys out there
like he wants to make sureyou're happy yes, but sometimes
like, if I have a lot on my mind, it's not about him.
No, I'm like like I'm for thedoing it, but I'm like not gonna
be as like into it.
Svetlana, you know it'll belike we can get the job done.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Yeah, this is horrible.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Yeah, yeah, no clips it is.
It is hard but he talked about,yeah, men need to feel pursued
and they also need to feel likeadmired.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
So what do the women?
Speaker 1 (32:44):
need the women need you know?
He told his like dishes storyand stuff and then he said many
women are different.
Like not all are words ofaffirmation or this or that.
No, I'm not words ofaffirmation at all.
So need to ask your spousewhat's?
How do they want to be pursued?
Which made me feel kind of likeweird.
As he says.
It's kind of like too muchfeelings for me really.
Yeah, like I don't like likemushy stuff, which is weird.
(33:05):
That's why your baby talk makesme really uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah and I'm less mushy in life like emotional,
but then I can baby yeah andyou're like a more like mushy
person than me.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yes, like, very like, cuddly and like I, I love you.
Even words like I love you, yes, boobies and weird I, I'm not.
My whole family is like yeah.
So like, talking about likereal things that are my feelings
is uncomfortable for mesometimes.
But yeah, kyle can wait to askthe questions.
It was like so how do you wantto be pursued?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, I would love that, because I feel like
sometimes Ben's pursuing thewrong and I'm not loving it.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Oh, kyle, totally was and it's been amazing.
So I told him actually I don'tlike when he says no to me off
the bat which he does all thetime about anything, that like
shuts me completely down.
I just don't feel heard at all.
I do that to Ben, it's like mybiggest things and it's not what
(34:10):
you would think.
It's not doing the dishes, it'snot anything.
I just want to feel heard, likeif I ask something, I don't
even care if it's yes right away.
I just don't want to hear theno right off the bat.
I don't want the attitude, Ijust want you to hear me.
And then it was like more, Ilike words of affirmation.
So like sometimes I think he'smissing all the things that are
being done, you know, and that'sreally it.
(34:32):
He made me text him to himbecause he wanted to like go
back to it, which was cute,kyle's like rule by the book.
So it was that it was.
Let me see.
And then, um, oh, think of myneeds too.
Sometimes I'm always I'm feellike I'm bad, but I take care of
all of his needs.
I noticed if he's eaten.
I've noticed if he's got enoughsleep.
I noticed if he needs hislaundry done, like I noticed all
(34:54):
of his needs, and he justnotices his needs too.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I'm trying to think what mine is.
You know what I think.
Sometimes I feel like hedoesn't like know me or pay
attention, like pay.
Like I could go to anyrestaurant and order exactly
what Ben would like and I knowwhat he likes because I just
know him.
And sometimes I feel like hedoesn't, like he would plan a
(35:19):
dinner at a place I hate, like Ihate Asian food.
Why would you plan that?
Speaker 1 (35:23):
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I don't feel like.
Planning things for you is hisstrength.
Well, I hate all his plans, soyeah, yeah, I don't think that,
but I do think he knows you.
We talked about this the otherday Because Tisha just got mad
about it, like he tried tosurprise her with something and
she ate surprises and and shehates surprises and it was like
nothing I would ever want.
Yeah, but I feel like he knowsyou more, like in certain ways,
than Kyle knows me.
(35:43):
But it's me and Ben are thesame and you and Kyle are the
same.
Like I feel like he always canmake you laugh when you're mad.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
I think Kyle makes me more mad when I'm mad.
Yeah, like that's one of ourbiggest things.
Our fights are not overanything that big, they're small
things that I don't feel heardand I want to freak out Like,
because I don't feel like hegets me.
But I feel like Kyle can plananything for me and he would
nail it.
Yeah for sure, totally getslike what I like, what I like,
that's what it is what I like,yes, that's what it is, but you
(36:11):
get him and Kyle gets me, but Iget like who he is.
I know what will calm him down.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yes, he does do that, yes, and I know like when he's
stressed what he needs.
But he doesn't know what I like, ever I don't know what Kyle
likes either.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
really, though, yeah.
Like a little but not as goodas he knows.
He can nail anything for melike that.
Right right, that's how I am.
Yeah, but how would you want tobe pursued?
I don't know If Ben does A, band C.
What really makes you happy?
I feel like the coffee is one.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Yeah, I feel like he does things I don't know.
I feel pursued.
Yeah, I think he does pursue.
Yeah, like he fills my gas tankup, that makes me happy.
Washes my car, he takes care ofme, that makes me feel very,
yeah, secure.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yes, he does take care of.
Oh good, it's made, cause I'mnot going to make it for myself.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah, yeah, kyle.
They talked about, too, howimportant it is for a man to
feel like admired by his wife,like that what he's going and
doing is being appreciated andthat anyone in the world can
(37:15):
critique them.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
But when the wife does, it really affects their
self-esteem well, we weretalking to our clients yesterday
and they said the cutest thingfirst yeah, it was, and we
walked to the car tell the story.
Okay, so we were going to theirhouse and they were just so
cute interacting.
The whole time, so respectfulso respectful, but like even
there was a time she was doingsomething and he was like, no,
no, wait.
(37:36):
But it was very respectful.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I'd be like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (37:39):
you know totally and so after we were like you guys
are so cute, what is your?
And they've been married 27years.
And they said, which is soadmirable.
They said we've never saidanything mean to each other,
even in joking around, becausethere's always some truth and
even if you said it in a joking,it'd make the other person
wonder oh, oh, was this true?
(38:00):
And they were like all bets areoff with the kids.
We're rude to the kids, we'recalling them dumb ass, but we
would never say and he goes.
She would never say to me whatare you an idiot, are you being
a dumb ASS?
And he goes.
That would be like a knife inthe heart.
And so that's so true.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
We both walked to the car and I was all bloop, bloop,
bloop and.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
I was picturing the surprise that Ben did that I
hated and I was like you idiot,why would you do that?
You know, like berating him,yeah, I was like that was the
worst choice, like I hate it.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
You know yeah, it's funny because that's what they
talked about at church is beingintentional and nothing is more
important than your marriage.
But you have, like so often inlife, we just show up for our
marriage.
We just like he's like, if youjust show up for work and didn't
work all day, would you begetting successful?
Would you be he's like if youjust showed up for your kids and
hope they get to school, right,hope, like he's like.
That's what we do with ourmarriages.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
We just put them on autopilot and wonder why they're
not like if you're not activelyfeeding it, going on vacations
or doing day yeah, or making arule yeah that because I think
you can cut harder and morepainful with your marriage than
you can with anything else.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
So like when I do I have a tongue, that's my bad
thing.
It's like when I get hurt, Iwant to hurt back.
Yeah, I think that was fromyears of me not sticking up for
myself.
I'm really going to stick upfor myself now.
You're really nailing it, butit's sad because he didn't do
any of those bad things to methat those other people did.
But I have to really work on mytongue.
I want to make sure I'm alwaysputting life into Kyle and like
(39:26):
telling him because he is sowonderful and like he is a
really hard worker and he doesprovide very well, and I want
him to always know that wereally appreciate that.
It's funny, though.
What you love about each otherand what you like are intrigued.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
It was what drives you crazy too yeah, because
ben's so type a and oh, the typea drives me nuts oh we had a
horrible so the so at the end ofthe day, ken and bear have to
pick up fox from his classroomand then they walk into the
neighborhood where I picked themup.
Well, they fight about who hasto get him, and it's rude, and
(39:58):
they do it in front of him.
I don't want to get him, I will, you get him?
I got him yesterday and so Benand I were done with it and we
and Ben went.
Ben had to take him to schoolone day cause I had to go do
something, and so he does thisthing where, like, nothing
bothers him until he's dealingwith it.
So on the way to school hefinally heard the fighting and
so he was raging.
So he, he, he, and so he wasraging.
So he called me and he's likeit's so rude, they're being mean
(40:20):
to him and it makes him feelbad.
And his little buddy no one'smessing with his buddy.
So he was going crazy and hewent crazy on.
Bear took his phone, like wentcrazy, but it was warranted.
It's rude and we don't likestand for that with each other,
like we really try to make themtreat each other good.
Yeah, so then, yeah, so.
(40:42):
Then later that night bear camein from playing football in the
grass at the park with all hisbuddies for like two hours, and
so he was covered in grass andhe walked in the house and grass
went everywhere.
And then ben acted the sameabout the grass as he did, being
mean to your brother and liketo me.
It's like a 10 and a 2.
And if you're always in troubleabout dumb things, it's like
(41:03):
then the big trouble abouttreating your brother.
It loses like efficacy.
You know what I mean Big wordLike effectiveness,
effectiveness, effectiveness, oh, okay, because, oh, I'm going
to get yelled at about grass,and it's like he didn't
intentionally do it.
He just didn't think he I'mgoing to get y'all out about
grass, and it's like he didn'tintentionally do it.
He just didn't think he's a boy, he's running in you know, and
(41:24):
so I'm like you need to likecalm down.
So, but like to your point, Doeshe listen to you?
Yes, we did.
I had a talk and then he toldme sorry, I just had just done
the floors.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
And like he's the house, I'll say level one, level
one, level one like, butcertain things really trigger
him.
But sometimes I think, all thelike he likes to get everything
done right away and I'm likethis doesn't matter.
But then I'm like if he wasn'tlike that, nothing would get
done, and even the budget.
Now that I'm on team budget,I'm like listening to Dave
Ramsey and literally everythingthey're saying is what Kyle's
(42:03):
been saying to me, right, andI'm like, gosh, he's always
right, yeah, but I don't likehim to be always right, which is
stupid.
I should just listen to him.
But it's funny, like what Godputs you with is like what you
need, and I'm misindependent,like a counterpart, yeah, and I
think sometimes we like getannoyed at that stuff, but it's
like what I don't do that withyou, though, back to our love,
(42:25):
love life, but like you'reopposite me in a lot of ways,
but I already know that thathelps me.
You don't get on my nerves.
You like to get things done thesame, you kind of nag me about
things and I'm not annoyed.
Yeah, why is that?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
I know, I mean, I feel like you get me Ben,
doesn't you know?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I know it's weird, yeah, but I think sometimes,
like a lot of they say inmarriage, always assume the best
in each other.
Yeah, and it's weird.
I think sometimes it's easy toassume the worst in each other.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Or when other people are getting you.
You think this person must notbe right for me.
To my friend Kara, shout outshe's not a jerky, but I think
she's a jerky.
Now she's becoming a jerk.
Yeah, kara, welcome.
Anyways, we were talking and Iwas telling her about the thing
he did and she goes why didn'the just call me or call Crystal?
We would have said she's notgonna like that.
Yeah, you know.
And and I was like, yeah, youget it, she gets it.
Yeah, and then it makes you morelike what well, you can start
spiraling.
Or if your friend friend waslike, yeah, he doesn't get you,
(43:21):
you know, and it's like Ben isso right for me in every way,
totally Just because he doesn'tget.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I know.
Thank God you don't havefriends like that, though that's
what I mean, because they couldtag team you in a totally
different way, but people dothat or they was like a big
(43:51):
turning point in our marriagewas around the time we talk
about like Lincoln, him leavinghis family business.
Later I ended up kind ofleaving mine.
It was bad.
There was a lot of outsidestress on our plates and of
course, that makes your marriagecontentious.
Is that the right word?
Yeah, like like it's stress.
Yeah, and at that point I wasgetting real done.
I was like I'm done, da, da da.
(44:12):
I told my brother I'm done withthis.
It was just like more stress onmy plate and that's like my
brother was like this is themost important thing to you.
You need to go to marriagecounseling, you need to figure
this out, and I'm so thankfulthat he went that way rather
than be done.
You're right.
Yeah, because you could havelistened, because my brother and
I agree on everything.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
We're the same and you trust him and you know he
wants the best for you.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
So like you could have listened and the things
that were probably irritating mewere probably irritating my
brother, because we're the sameright, but he but he still
always has Kyle's back.
My mom always has Kyle's back.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
I always have his back.
Yeah, you always have Ben's.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, but I think sometimes it's easy.
That's the only time I've toldthem, but I was really done and
I needed outside help, right,and it really.
(45:05):
Once we got down, starting offwith church, not running around
to sports all day, like just,and then like meeting each
other's needs, we went to themovies that night.
It was so fun.
We saw Den of Thieves it was sogood, is it?
I never saw the first one.
I didn't either, or I don'tremember it.
You need to see the first one,okay, because I was annoyed.
I was like dang, I wish I wouldhave watched it.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
It was really good, I'm gonna plan a date night.
Yeah, maybe that's how I'd wantto be pursued too, like plan
something.
But I don't really like hisplans, so never mind no, I think
, just going.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
You want to plan it, but you guys want to make it a
priority.
To go, yes, because and qualitytime is I'm.
So quality time.
Oh see, and I'm not.
I like quality time.
I was reading when you weretalking.
My third one was I'm all.
Thank you, I'm just kidding, nono, cause people are texting
about work and it's closing.
But no, it was no, I said I wasgoing to look it up.
It was alone time.
I like recharge alone and helikes recharge with me.
(45:54):
So sometimes, sometimes I'vehad a day and I just want to be
alone and he takes it personal.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
He's like me yeah.
He likes quality time.
He does like quality time.
That's why I'm always planningexperiences, because it's like a
way for us to spend timetogether, the family, ben and I.
I love an experience together.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
It's like our quality time, you know it's like no
one's working, no one's you know, yeah, kyle's probably like
that too, and I'm like, okay,cool, we've been together now.
Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yeah, I like to be alone.
Yeah, he does like to be withyou all the time.
He's never doing anything.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
No, and like in the room with me following me, like
you're, you know, like he loves,and that's really sweet, really
sweet.
But I like to be alone.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
So sometimes it that's pursuing me.
Leave me alone, yeah, and thenI'll do the happy dance.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
You know, we know you're doing that anyway.
So All right, let's sum it upJudd's almost asleep.
Oh Well, we'll see you guysnext week.
Pursue your husband in thebedroom, let him go downstairs.
Tish, come on.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Yeah, maybe that's on his list, you know.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
It probably is.
Why it probably is.
Why is something a no?
Speaker 2 (46:58):
It's not a no, it's just not going to happen every
day.
Like you, your house, it's likea free-for-all, like who's
eating what?
It's like what's going on.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
That's wrong, edit.
All right, guys, we'll see younext week.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
See you next week.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you
feel better about yourself,because we're a mess just like
you, and Crystal makes fun of methe whole time and it's great
and it's real.
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