S3 E15: Mommy’s Little Cocktail: Wine, Xanax & a Side of Poop

Buckle up for this wild ride on Jerking Around, where we dive headfirst into flight freakouts, family chaos, and all the ridiculousness in between. Tisha spills on her fear of flying and how a little too much wine (and a diaper improvisation) turned one trip into pure comedy gold.

We’re serving up real talk and big laughs, from letting kids pick vacation spots (risky move, btw) to elderberry cures and the weird-but-necessary safe words that keep our marriages spicy. It’s messy, hilarious, and totally relatable.

So grab a drink, hit play, and laugh along with us, and don’t forget to drop your own travel fails or cringe family stories in the comments.

Let’s embrace the madness together!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you
feel better about yourself,because we're a mess just like
you, and Crystal makes fun of methe whole time and it's great
and it's real.
Welcome to Jerking Around,welcome, welcome, welcome.

(00:27):
Tisha's acting right today.
I know a lot of you have beenconcerned with the stabler going
out there If she's safe at homeand she is yeah, we have a safe
word.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
You know, do you really?
It's crystal.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
No safe words, we're not like that, speaking of, most
of my passwords are Tisha22,and that gets awkward.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I know when you had to tell Kyle, especially when I
had to tell Kyle he's like notKyle, I'm like no.
Our whole work team thinks it'sweird.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
I've never had a safe word you might think it's like
a jungle at my house, but I'venever had a safe word.
Yeah, we's it.
I think there's more, but youdon't want to talk in front of
the listeners.
Yeah, all right, why don't youshare yours first?

(01:12):
No, I don't really haveanything.
Yeah, college Moving on, okay,okay.
So I'm a little under theweather today.
Tisha doesn't really care,she's yet to ask me how I'm
feeling.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, um, well Tyler was taking such good care of you
.
I feel like you were in goodhands.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
You know Speaking of Tyler, our pod daddy Elderberry.
If you're getting sick, I swearby this, Take some Elderberry
and you feel better.
Didn't I give it to you whenyou were sick the other day?
Yeah, Did it help you.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
I don't think I was sick.
Ben was sick, remember.
Did it help him Give it to Ben?
I'm not sure it helps everybody.
I don't think so, because hehad to get a Z-Pak for a sinus
infection.
It didn't help him.
It was probably too late,though.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Yeah, I think I'm going to feel better now because
of it.
Yeah, let's talk about thingsin the.
I know the plane flipped.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
I feel like I conquered all my flying fears.
No, I mean not.
What are you?

Speaker 1 (02:05):
talking about.
I have videos of you lookingout the window last week, right
Like two weeks ago, but I usedto have to take like a Xanax or
something.
Yeah, a sedative and wine.
Did you tell that story on here?

Speaker 2 (02:16):
No, I should tell that, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
And so stop right here, tell the story.
Tisha was awful, awfully scaredto fly years ago.
We didn't fly as much then.
We as in.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
We're not married, but yeah, so we were in San
Diego for Ben Tahoe.
No, it was San Diego, ben, areyou talking about the diaper?
Yeah, yeah, and the when thelady was like are you safe?
Yeah, the lady still will like,text me randomly.
It's been like 10 years, tellus.
No, we were in San.
Okay, so we're in san diego.
We flew there for something.
I think ben had a workconference or something and we

(02:47):
took the kids and so we areabout to fly home and it's the
night before the flight.
This is when it started and I'mlooking at the weather and it's
storming and I'm like, oh mygosh, I can't fly home in this I
have a bad feeling.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
I have a bad feeling and now bear says it.
He's like I have a bad feelingand now Bear says it.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
He's like I have a bad feeling.
God doesn't want me to go onthat trip.
I'm all no, god does.
But now I know how crazy itsounds.
So I'm telling Ben.
I'm like, hey, I can't tellthis part of the story.
It's so bad.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, you have to Tell the whole story.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Oh, it's so inappropriate.
So, anyways, I'm like Ben, Icannot fly tomorrow and I'm like
trying to barter with him.
You know when I am wanting myway I offer things.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
So you promised the biggest no-no there is.
I promised the biggest no-no,the biggest Never follow through
, never going to do this.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
But you went to.
I was like, if we can rent a carand drive home because we're
only six hours away If we canrent a car and drive home
tomorrow, you can do this.
And he was like really, and sohe's like running down to the
hotel is he really?
Oh, yeah, he went down to thehotel, like lobby, and was like
buying Vaseline, like he was.

(03:54):
He was like it was like gonnabe his moment, you know.
And then um, and so he was likefor real, yeah, he like took
bear with him.
He's like, he's like in the in,like the you know, like the
store, at the hotel, like youknow, and he's all by and loose.
Oh, he's a baby.
Yeah, bear was a baby.
And so he comes back and he'slike you know, like, yeah, we're
renting a car.

(04:15):
And then I was like I was likewe, you didn't follow through.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yes, good, I'm glad he put his foot down.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
He lost his money, yeah since then he has like
loosened up a bit.
This was earlier on in ourmarriage where I feel like he
like was more the boss he wasmore the boss earlier on what
happened.
I warmed down, so anyways.
So we go the next morning andwe go to get on our flight and I
have two babies Like I have a.

(04:48):
I had I think CJ was five, kenwas three and Bear was one.
So we had little kids.
Did you sleep all night?
Probably not.
No, so I was sick and so I wasso worked up.
So Ben's assistant at the time,who I love, she was like here.
She hates flying too.
She's like here, I have a Xanax, take the Xanax, drink a glass

(05:11):
of wine and you'll be fine.
So I'm like, okay, it's an hourflight, yes, so we get to the
airport, but it's like stormy.
So we get to the airport and soI'm, I take the Xanax and I'm
like okay, ben, you go to thegate with the kids, I'm gonna go
drink a glass of wine.
So I get a glass of wine, Idrink the glass of wine.
So did you chug it?
Yeah, so we come back and itlike you know, when it doesn't
affect you yet, yeah, and so itdidn't affect me yet.
And I was like, um, oh, wait,first backtrack before I get the

(05:32):
glass of wine and the stuff.
We're like checking in and we'relike in the security line and
doing all that and I'm likecrying because we're flying home
and I'm like and so Ben isannoyed with me because he's got
all the kids and he's like,gosh, you're so dramatic.
So he wasn't being like supernice, which he is so nice, so
it's kind of funny that he wasbeing kind of like annoyed.

(05:52):
So this lady sees me and she'slike thinks I'm in trouble.
She's like thinks I'm like anabuse because you're holding
these babies, yeah, and I'mcrying and I'm like I'm just so
scared, scared, and she's likethey're there.
So she's like, hey, let'sexchange numbers, like I think
she thought I was like so you'rein the security line?

Speaker 1 (06:08):
and she asked for your number.
We exchanged numbers.
I think she Was Ben wonderingwhat's happening.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, he's just done with me.
At this point.
He's like you're a whack job,so I'm like crying, I'm.
She's like are you safe, likeis everything okay and like
she's thinking he's abusive.
You know it was like reallyweird.
So we get through security, Itake the Xanax and then I go get
a glass of wine and it doesnothing and like, if you've ever

(06:33):
taken one which I've only havea few times, like it takes a
minute to kick in, yeah, whydon't you take it earlier?
I like worked up, so we getthere and so we're sitting.
So I, I drink my glass of wine,I go meet him back at the gate
with the kids and I'm like stillstressed out, and then the
flight's delayed because of thestorm and I'm like, oh my god,
you know it's delayed, like it'snot safe.

(06:53):
Yeah, he's like, oh my god, I'mlike I'm gonna go get another
glass of wine.
So I go back to the bar, I getanother glass of wine and chug
it.
So like, first of all of all, Ido not drink very much, so I'm
such a lightweight.
So for one Xanax and twoglasses of wine, I am like I.
So then I come back and then itfinally like hits me as we're
so that now the plane's boardingand then it finally hits me and

(07:16):
I'm so immediately did tellthis story.
No, just keep going.
Now I'm on the edge of my seat.
I was was like, yeah, we did, Ithink on the first podcast.
All right, just keep goingAnyways.
So I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm solike wasted.
So I'm like get on the plane.
And then I'm like you know whenyou like get on, the flight
attendants are greeting you andI'm all let's get a crash.

(07:37):
And they're like, oh, she'sscared, like I'm a kid, and so
like the pilot's like sit downhere.
So I sat in the pilot seat.
He's like showing me theinstruments.
Where are the kids oh, ben tookhim back to board.

(07:57):
He's like this whack.
He was like mortified to beseen with me and now I'm like
drunk and so he's like give youthe wings.
I think they did give me thewings.
They're like here you go, youknow, and I'm all you know like,
and so I sit down and andthey're showing me like this
shows us where the lightning is,that we, the turbulence, we can
fly around it.
And they're showing me all theparts and they're like the

(08:17):
planes may made to withstand.
Because I'm like the lightning,because it's like lightning and
it's like a full thunderstorm.
I'm like the lightning, becauseit's like lightning and it's
like a full thunderstorm.
I'm like why are we taking off?
So, anyways, so the pilot islike here you want to say hi on
the speaker.
I'm all my kids are back there,and then I'm all hi, like I'm
the thing, like so wasted, andso they're like oh, no, so buddy

(08:40):
hears me on the speaker.
He's like God, dumbass, youknow.
And I've still got the lady.
That's like are you safe?
It's like what's happening?
You were really on the speaker.
Yeah, I was like hey, and I waslike drunk too.
So I'm like hey, hi, kids, youknow.
So I like then I go back to myseat and I like walk back.
I'm so drunk.

(09:01):
So I get back and I'm likesitting there and then we like
go out to the runway and thenwe're on the tarmac and then
it's delayed again because ofthe storm.
So they're like sorry guys,we're delayed, we're gonna have
to stay here for a few minutes.
So now, because I've chugged thewine, I have to pee so bad.
And you can't get up and peewhen you're on the tarmac,
tarmac, whatever.
And so I'm like, oh my god, Ihave to pee so bad.

(09:26):
So I'm like what is Ben's?
Oh, he's so done with me atthis point.
He's like first of all, Ididn't get the do it in the butt
last night.
You know.
He's like I know this bitch.
You know he's so done with me.
He's just like you're a whack.
So I'm like I gotta pee so bad.
He's like yeah, you gotta holdit.
I'm like, no, no, like I gottago.
He's like, yeah, no, you gottahold it.
I'm like, no, I'm gonna, I'mgonna pee my pants.
And he's like you seriouslycan't hold your pee.

(09:46):
And it's like it's not normalpee, it's the alcohol pee.
It's like it's so strong youhave to go, you have to release
it.
It's like it's not normal peethat creeps up.
You have hours, no, so I'msitting there and I'm again, so,
so.
So I'm like my youngest was.
So I'm like, oh, I'll just peein a diaper, cause, like it's

(10:06):
perfect.
You know, in my mind it waslogical.
So I'm like I'm like Ben, giveme a diaper.
He's like no, I'm like, give mea diaper.
He's like you're out of control.
And I'm like give me a diaper.
He's like you safe.
Like is he hitting her?
Like he probably wanted to hitme now.
So I'm like give me the, giveme the diaper.

(10:29):
He's like he's like you'redisgusting, he throws at me.
He's like I can't even beserious.
So I'm like wiggling my pantsdown, you know like, because I
like can't get up.
And so then I just like sat onthe diaper and I just like did
it hold?
Yes, it held.
And I just like, peed in thediaper, yes, it held.
So you're sitting in the seatwith your pants down, yes, but
like you know how, like leggings, you can just pull like the

(10:50):
back down, but then the front'sstill kind of here.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
And I think I put like a bag or something over me
and then I just like I was, allyou know, like released.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
So what'd you do after?
So I peed in the diaper.
So then I just, you know, youlike wrap it up into the little
like triangle, you know.
I'm like, oh, there it is, youknow.
And then the like fly tonguecomes out.
I'm like, oh, the baby you know,no, but so I peed in a diaper.
But then the plane took off andI was all like just so drunk,
and then we get, we land.
It's not that long, still drunkwhen you landed probably.
I don't remember that part, butI landed I was all.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
That wasn't that bad, and he was like actually it was
really bad.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
But he's like, yeah, you know, and he's like, was it
a bad fight?
He said it was.
I don't remember.
Oh, that's so but, that's so mypoint of the flying now is I
have since I don't need to takeanything to fly anymore, I do my
lord's prayer and I'm good.
I look out the window, you know, yeah, but now I feel like we
going to have some regressionwith all the things in the news.
Like we got, I have to fly toTexas and Florida and I'm a

(11:50):
little for cheer and I'm likeI'm going to need to get some.
I'm going to be calling myfriend that is a doctor.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Hey, you know.
Oh, I can't wait to fly withyou.
That story is so funny.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, cause I want to be so out of it that like we're
going down and I'm just likelike I was on that flight.
You know, yeah, yeah, and I amtrying to talk you into driving
to Dallas, but you won't.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
I'm not driving.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
I'll offer the same thing I offered Ben no no no one
wants that no.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
I am flying to Dallas .
Yeah, yeah, I agree, I don'tmind if you go that way, I just
don't want to be like going down.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, Well, now I thought we were safe once we hit
the.
That's kind of like where I I'mlike, okay, we're safe, but now
with the flipping over, I'mlike we're not even safe.
Yeah, and I'd still rather flipover on there than Nosedive.
The nosedive is what I'm scaredof.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
The nosedive is what I'm scared of the nose dive is
what I'm scared of.
Yeah, I was on a flight.
I think sometimes it's morescared of the feeling of being
scared.
I'm not as scared of dying asI'm scared of that feeling.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Yeah, I'm not scared of dying, I'm scared of nose
diving and feeling that likedropping, yeah, like it's
happening, here we go.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
This is the end, yeah .
I had to fly after that and Iwas so scared I fly out tonight,
so it was nice knowingeverybody.
Good luck, yeah, yeah, okay.
So moving on with the flightstory yeah, I forgot.
I think we have told that story, but oh, I don't think it was
as funny as right now.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Hi guys, yeah, I'm all right and the kids are like
they were little.
They didn't know.
Like now my are older.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
They would have been so mad at you.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Well, they'd be like mom's acting weird, like mom's
drunk, you know.
Yeah, even my like.
If I was going to the bar toget a drink, my daughter would
be like what are you doing?
You know?

Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah.
They wouldn't be like this isnormal If you were acting like
that Kennedy.

(13:52):
What's happening in the news?
But I'm bringing it back, sonot much besides the planes.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
I've been off Instagram we had a cheer
competition this week andInstagram is where I get my news
and um, yeah, I didn't seeanything because I had no
service.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, but how was summer house?
Oh, this weekend was amazing.
Yeah, we had nationals forcheer.
It was amazing.
I did get sick, but, um, a lotof really cool things happened
there like we did really welland it was really cool.
We had a lot of really coolthings happened there Like we
did really well and it wasreally cool.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
We had a lot of good moments as a team.
It was cool.
You should tell the story aboutthe praying and the score.
I know I'm not there yet,really, yeah, I was ready to
talk celebrities, let's comeback to that, all right.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
All right, I want to talk about Paige and Craig.
They're my favorite, I know I.
There's nothing more, thoughyeah, there is.
Craig had some more interviews,oh, he did.
Yeah, and Summer House came out.
Summer House came out last weekand you can tell that, paige,
it's like funny seeing arelationship now.
You can tell they're not doingas good as like the seasons
before.
But at the end of the SummerHouse Do you think they edited

(14:41):
it though to change it?
No, well, they picked upcameras again.
You know the pickup.
Yeah, so at the end of lastweek's episode they showed
picking up the cameras.
Six months later and Paige istalking bad about Craig and
saying that he was texting somewitches.
You know she caught him textinganother girl twice or whatever.
But I think it's just all PR totry to make him look bad, right

(15:02):
, and then you know, but it'slike picked up cameras.
I love when they pick up thecameras.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
I love when they pick up the cameras.
Yeah, like let's pick them up,because I hate when they don't
follow it.
Yeah.
I remember with Vanderpump,when that happened with Ariana
and Tom.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yeah, they picked it up.
I love that they picked it up.
Oh, it was so great Kyle andpreview for next week, but his
pr company like he's still likespeaking so highly of her and
she like went for the jugularlast week.
So it's interesting, yeah, butdid you see that blake lively
and ryan reynolds went to thissaturday night live 50th

(15:33):
anniversary?
Yeah, her face looked different.
Did you guys notice?
It was so like she's so prettyto me.
I think she's so pretty.
Yeah, it was very like, I don'tknow, like a doll, like maybe
some filler in there.
Tisha and I were talking,though now that I have to look
at my face so close, I like wantmy eyebrows done, I want lip
injections.
I'm not even like that, no, butlike it is hard to see yourself

(15:55):
.
So I get how celebrities getthe Brandy Glanville, but Brandy
Glanville have you seen her?

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Well, she got a parasite in her face.
She said I know which.
We were just talking about aparasite cleanse, yeah, but I
don't know if it was a parasiteor if it was all the stuff she
was injecting, or maybe aparasite from all the stuff she
was injecting.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
It's bad.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
It's like what I rarely feel like.
I see someone that has fillersthat I'm like.
Oh, that looks good.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Well, I think it's that big of a deal and then all
of a sudden, your face lookstotally different and I think
when you're the one doing it,you don't realize it as much
like I think people can see iton you more than you can see it
on yourself.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Well, that I feel like that happened with us with
the eyelash extensions it's likeI had eyelash extensions, then
it's like you have them theylook good.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
No, no, yours, look normal.
Mine was like caterpillars onour eyes.
We like kept going.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
It was like it was never enough.
I said I wanted to look like ahooker, yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
I know that's not a yeah, no, that's yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Why did I say that?
And Kyle hated him oh, ben didtoo.
When, like COVID happened and Icouldn't get him, he was like
you look beautiful and I was allcause they were like but no, it
was like caterpillars.
But remember, we started withjust normal and then you kind of
like we went too far.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
I can really open my eyes.
Yeah, it was so heavy.
It was so heavy.
Yeah, I see how that happens, Ido.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
And I do.
I completely relate to, likethe people on the on the reality
shows when they see themselvesand then they're getting all the
stuff because oh.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
I want to get all I keep drying my lips on bigger on
my lip liner for today.
And then today I didn't feelgood.
So I'm like you know what, themore I try to make it better,
the more it's worse.
Like my blush it looks like alittle kid blind put it on and
is blush in.
I don't know.
I'm trying to do like, I'm justtrying to show some cheekbones
are here, yeah, because youcan't really see them anymore.
And I want to bring bronzerhere, yeah.

(17:40):
Like the contour yeah, but itlooks like I painted my face and
then I like spray tan on, yeah,and then it's like this oh,
it's horrible.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
you know, I care just enough, not enough to really go
for it, yeah, but it's hard,though it is hard when I see
that video of myself come acrossmy feed.
Like I'll open Instagram andit'll pop up on my feed and I
just want to crawl in a hole.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
I'm like I know, oh, I was telling her this weekend.
I don't think anybody reallylikes to see themselves, though,
or hear their voice, my voiceespecially right now yeah.
Sounds like a man kind of in agood way, though I like it a
little raspy.
Yeah, like you know, like asmelly cat Phoebe yeah.
But yeah, I don't think anyonelikes seeing themselves.
I feel like an idiot most timesI hate it, we were talking
about this this weekend, thoughA lot of things that you feel

(18:23):
like an idiot for are reallymotivational things.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
I did see another quote about that, maybe because
we talked about it.
Then my phone heard and it waslike if you're not feeling
stupid, you're not trying.
Yeah, something new, yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
But I don't try new stuff.
Well, I was just trying to dothis story this weekend.
This is something so simple,but we were just telling stories
about this weekend and I'mgoing to feel it more now.
Yeah, so we team for years wewon nationals, I think two times
together.
I think I went three together,two with you.
Did you win twice?
I think we went twice, yeah,and I won before you got there.

(18:58):
And then we our last yeardidn't do as good.
Yeah, um, and then I coachedand we won nationals many times.
And then our daughter's cheerteam both of our daughters.
It's a very winning, winningcheer program, like all-star
program, so we're very used towinning um.
So when we I started coaching atLiberty, it wasn't as winning
culture right, which it is likea culture like in the book

(19:19):
change your paradigm, changeyour life still such a good book
.
I started listening to it againlast week.
I've been doing like when Ipray in the mornings.
I've been like telling myselfwho I am.
This sounds really weird, butit really makes a difference.
So I could tell you it's.
I don't want to, but I couldtell you the things I tell
myself every day and they arestarting to happen.
It's crazy.
It's like I tell I've beentelling myself I'm a champion,

(19:40):
cheer coach.
Yeah, like I am, that's who Iam Totally Cause.
When you start to say you'rethat, then you start making
decisions as if you're that.
I tell myself I'm a healthyperson.
Yeah, not there yet, but I justhad some elderberry, some
vitamin C.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
And then I tell myself I'm a podcaster that
doesn't look stupid on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
No, I, that's one of them.
I run.
We have a successful podcast.
That's one of my things, yeah,and then, um, I'm good with
money working on that.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah, and then um.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
I'm a good wife, a good daughter, good niece and a
good mom.
I tell myself that, yeah, andthen I tell myself that I bring
other people to God.
Those are like the things Iwant to be.
Every day I bring others to God, I motivate and inspire people
to be better.
I'm a I coach a champion team.
So I tell myself every day allthe things I want to be.
But it's crazy, Like the voicewe're going to have to work with

(20:26):
it today.
When you tell yourself and youfocus in the mornings especially
when I was doing my walks after75 hard and I get my intentions
right for the day, all yourdecisions after that become that
.
So this weekend with the girls,you know we're starting to
teach them how to be championsand it's not always what happens
in the three minutes that theycompete.
It's the decisions you makeevery day that are champion
decisions Right.

(20:46):
Like, for example, one of ourlast practices we were at at Top
Gun, the all-star gym, and thecoach who coaches our girls
helps our cheer team, which isso cool like that.
He, he helps us and I get towork with him someone I admire.
He takes the time, yes, and Iadmire him like he's one of my
all-time favorite people, sogetting him to see work with the
girls I love so much is so cool.

(21:07):
And so he's like hard on all ofhis teams.
So now I like you can be hardon them.
They can handle it becausethey're tough now, right, and so
it was like they were goingfull out, full out, back to back
.
And he doesn't love airconditioning because he's smart
with his money, so the girlsaren't used to it being so hot
in there, yeah.
And so they're looking at melike and I'm like again, right,

(21:27):
drew, you know, yeah, yeah.
And they're like okay.
And he's like again yeah, whatare you talking about?
I'm like okay Again.
Drew said you know, and therewas one point where they wanted
to be done.
Even Drew's like what do youwant to do?
And I was like no, every otherteam would be done right here,
but we're better than everyother team.
Let's go again.
And I think all those smallmoments when you gave, when you

(21:49):
wanted to give up, make you likebetter.
So when we were there, when wewere about to walk in, I just
told the teacher this story.
I said, okay, put your phonesaway, get your chest up.
Like.
That's something our coachalways taught us is like you
decide you're a champion as soonas you step up.
Like put your chest up, like wewere watching other teams.
As soon as they start withtheir chest up, I'm like they're

(22:10):
gonna be good.
Right, like you can tell assoon as they hit the mat and
they set if they're gonna begood or not.
Right, it's like because youtell people who you are.
So I was like chest up, getfocused in lines, music on and
walk like you're a champion.
And last night we were drivinghome from the airport, some of
the girls told me that was oneof their favorite moments,
because people were looking atthem as though they were
champions.
Right, because we weredemanding it, like we were

(22:32):
setting the stage.
And it's like I felt stupidbecause this team hasn't isn't a
culture of champions yet we'rebuilding it.
But I felt stupid telling themto do that, that they were going
to think it was dumb, right?
So it's like so funny All thethings you do where you feel
stupid, which, lucky me, thathappens.
Like every day I do somethingthat I feel stupid about and

(22:56):
then in the car on the way homethey're like that was my
favorite thing, yeah, but it'slike how many things do we miss
because we're scared to go on alimb?
And, like you know, when I playa song for the girls, the first
practice I made them lay in acircle and close their eyes and
play a song.
I was like they're gonna thinkthis is so dumb, right, and now
we do all that and they're likeI love our, our, like circle
time and what we do.
But I felt stupid.
But it's like everything greatcomes after you feel stupid.
I really really think that likenothing I've ever been proud of

(23:18):
happened without me going on alimb and people thinking I was
crazy, like anyone great peoplethink they're crazy Einstein.
They thought that he was crazy,but like he didn't listen.
I think it's when you don'tlisten, is when you make it.
When you listen is when younever get there.
You know, especially anyentrepreneur.
I listen to Dave Ramsey everymorning because I am smart with
my money, it's one of my things,yeah, and it helps ground me

(23:40):
because the world tells you tofinance this or do this Right.
And like every morning, if Istart my day off with him, I'm
like, okay, I don't need toreload Starbucks five times in a
week, that's not smart Right,and I like refocus on what my
goals are.
But he talked about how hestarted his business at a table
and I'm like think aboutstarting that business Like he
was an entrepreneur, real estatemogul who lost everything, went

(24:03):
into debt like lost all of hishouses and then decided I'm
going to start a finance company.
But is it a finance Like what?
Even?
Is it Right it start a financecompany, but is it a fight like
what?
Even?
Is it right?
It's to teach people to pay offdebt and it's gonna.
He has over a thousandemployees.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Yeah, mind-blowing, it's a multi-million dollar he
has like separate things now too.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
He has the real estate, the financial advisors,
but if I sat down, it's likelet's help people, yeah, and
start a company teaching themhow to pay off debt.
It would be laughable, right.
Like no one's gonna pay you tohelp them pay off debt.
When you're trying to help themsave money, they're going to
spend money, right.
It's crazy, yeah.
And now look at it, but I'mlike that probably sounded so
stupid, right.
And so if you think we'restupid on the podcast, we're not

(24:41):
giving up because Tisha waswanting to, but I don't know
everything.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
I don't love when I said I was running.
I don't do a lot of things thatmake me feel stupid.
Yeah, I'm not a big risk taker.
Yeah, I feel like.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
I do all the time.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
I'm like, oh yeah, you're not a big risk taker, I'm
not a big risk taker and I'm abig risk taker.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
I would say like when I was in my story I want to run
for president, everybodylaughed at my face, yeah, and
then you doubt yourself, you'relike I can't do this.
But then, like when you'vepushed outside of your comfort
zone and it's worked, you likerely on that.
You're like I can do it.
And if God's telling me to dosomething, I feel like God's
telling us to have this podcast.
Then I'm like, if he's got myback, screw everybody.
Yeah, like it's not meant foreveryone to understand, right,

(25:20):
it's only meant for the fewpeople that hopefully we're
helping feel not alone.
You know, and I do, we do getthat feedback For sure.
Yeah, and that they get morefreaky with their husbands yeah,
you know, that's a passion ofours.
Yeah, you got to get doing it.
Get going, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, feel stupid.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
I feel stupid a lot.
I'm going to do one thing everyweek that makes me feel stupid.
Well, you grow in that, I think, when you feel vulnerable.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Have you ever gone through a breakup or something?
Then all of a sudden, you'revery vulnerable to everyone
who's hurting, like have youever been super upset?
And you feel like so alone andyou like, all of a sudden have a
sense of all the people hurtingand you're like nicer to people
because you remember, likeyou're in it and you're like, oh
yeah, no not really, but oh mygosh, you probably just went

(26:06):
through that too but I do feellike I am sensitive to real like
, or especially kids that aregoing through something, Like
kids that foster you know,because you have gone through it
, yeah, or?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
like kids whose parents are not, you know, like
struggling.
That really is like a triggerfor me, because you've been
through it and I'm so sensitiveto it.
Yeah, yeah.
So maybe it's just because Ihaven't I don't know, I'm not
very empathetic maybe I don'tknow.
I feel like I am, though, so Idon't know I wouldn't say you're
empathetic, but not for dumbthings, but for real things.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, I don't think anything's dumb.
If someone's upset about it, Idon't think it's your place to
judge.
Oh, I'm all totally dumb.
Like I sound stupid on apodcast and it ruins your day.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
Yeah Well, it doesn't ruin my day, but it makes me
not want to do it.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
It affects you.
Yeah, so I feel like everybodyhas their things, yeah, that are
like important to them.
Yes, you know.
Yeah, like your mom passed andit didn't affect you, but my dad
affected me.
Yeah, it doesn't mean it's dumb, yeah, but that's something
real.
Yeah, but like I don't know, Ithink sometimes we can be easily
affected by minor things biggerthan the big things.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah, the big things you're in like fighter mode.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Yeah, like I get affected by certain things that
are weird, and then other things.
I'm like eh yeah, I don't knowTotally.
Yeah, but I don't think you'revery empathetic, as evidenced
right now.
I just think you're a fight orflight.
You've been through harderthings.
My mom's like that.
She's been through harderthings, so like little things,
she just doesn't have thetolerance for it.
Yeah, anyways, like I was likethe whole school's picking on me

(27:41):
.
She's like yeah, yeah, yeah,you're fine.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
I'm all.
I don't think so so mean.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
And I was like maybe you jerk, and then they'd be
like roughen stuff with yourAfro puff.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Oh that's horrible With my mullet.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, go on with your bad self, and I'd be all, but
it was hard, that was hard.
But it made you better, jerk,but yeah, anyways, anyways, yeah

(28:18):
.
So this weekend it was supercool.
We had a lot of god moments.
Um, you know, I think we pushthe envelope a little with that
stuff sometimes, um, but it'spretty cool to see like the
girls start to believe not onlyin themselves but in, like that
there's a purpose in your pain.
Yeah, right, like so there's apurpose in the hardships we go
through as a team.
Like it's cool to teach kidsthat, right, we really learned
that at a young age that, likeyou could do anything you set
your mind to, and that goingthrough hardships makes you

(28:40):
stronger.
And I think sometimes that'slost in this culture, like
totally.
I think the next generation,like I've always said, is
amazing.
Like these girls are nicer toeach other than I've ever seen.
Like it's crazy how nice theyare, how kind, what good
decisions they make, likethey're good kids.
But I think sometimes there'slike a toughness factor that's
missing.
Like when I came around lastyear, they I would tell you guys

(29:02):
, they called me the gaslighterand I was like no, it's called
changing your attitude, right,like it's not gaslighting.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Like you're fine, well, society it's not.
It's like all about yourfeelings, and I feel like when
we were in cheer it was likefeelings don't matter.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah, feelings don't matter.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
But it taught you to be strong.
I feel like to get through hardthings, to know you can get
through hard things.
To work, you know, likediscipline, all that stuff
that's paid off, you know.
Yeah, Feelings can really leadyou astray.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Feelings are not facts, exactly yeah, what's the
worst thing you've ever donebecause of your feelings?
The trench coat, no.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
I know I'm all every boyfriend before Ben no.
But you know, feelings are justlike used to say like yeah, the
you.
I could feel like there's amonster in the closet.
There's not, yeah.
So I think feelings can be verydeceiving because, especially
in the culture, that's likefollow your heart, do this.
It's almost like do theopposite of your feelings
because your feelings aren'tfrom God.
It's like I know.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
That's really hard to decipher.
Yeah, it is.
That's how I feel with some ofmy old boyfriends.
You know we've told a lot ofstories on here but I still,
like don't regret any of them.
Like I feel like it was meantto be, you know, like you know,
like you love people for areason right, and like the
people that are in your life isfor a reason.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
But sometimes I like to bring, or there's some people
in like unhealthy things thatthey feel that they love this
person.
I'm like you should get out.
It's not healthy, you know.
Yeah, like abusive or whatever.
You know.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, I don't know it's weird, I don't know.
Have you ever been in anabusive relationship?
No really.
Have you ever abused someone ina relationship?
No, a little bit.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
I mean Ben might say I'm abused, but no, my kids are.
Like I'm abused.
No, they are not, we're justkidding, kind of no, like.
I've been seeing those thingson like Instagram though, like
if your dad never screamed toyou during math, like, or if
you're I sent it to Jen theother day if your brother never
chased you around with a knifeand it shows.

(30:56):
And I was like oh, that's sofunny.
Did you chase him with a knife?
No, but Jen's brother did, andin high school, and I remember
were you there?
Yes, we were in the kitchen andhe was chasing her with a knife
and we were like scared.
But it was like so funny and Isent it to her and I was like,
remember when he was chasing you, and it's just funny because
like now it's like a meme, likeyeah, that that happens.
And it's like, yeah, like it,you've never been chased by your

(31:19):
sibling with a knife, and itshows.
But it was just so funnybecause.
And then someone was like, yeah, your kids will be like you've
never been thrown in the pool inthe middle of winter, you know,
and it shows.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
I'm like, yeah, they will.
You haven't been thrown anybodyanymore.
I know I feel like, yeah, theywill, you haven't been throwing
anybody anymore.
I know I feel like you'veturned a corner with that.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Maybe they've been acting better, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
I feel like your kids have been acting better, right?
Yeah, I guess no.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, I've been taking the phone away a lot.
I guess now that when you havethe phone, you you talking about
the teenage nasty.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
the teenage nasty, that's what it should be called
the eighth grade Right.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, and I was talking to some of the
cheerleaders about it.
It's cool because I like I'mnot their mom, right, so I don't
.
They never give us attitudethey know better, right, like it
wouldn't flow.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, like, and Maddie won't do it at practice,
and we get in the car and I getthe nasty, yeah, and it I kind
of think it's like normal, yeah.
So I feel like one of my girlswas telling me she got in big
trouble cause she was grouchy inthe morning and disrespected
the mom.
I think what happens is likewe're sensitive because we want
their attention.
Now it's like it's flipping,like you and Ben flipped, you
know, like he used to be meanand now you're the nasty.

(32:31):
Um, but I think it does likeflip, like all of a sudden they
want your attention and then allof a sudden you want their
attention, right, and so I thinkwe're more sensitive, like, do
they still like us?
Do?

Speaker 2 (32:41):
they want to talk to us, you're like, hey, yeah,
trying to talk to them.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
And then, when they're like no, you're like God
, you're nasty, yeah, but reallyit's not that big of a deal.
Yeah, so there's a fine linebetween allowing it and then
also like not taking it personalTotally, because my mom would
let me do it, because she knew Iwas just acting stupid.
But then, at the same time, Idon't want to disrespect her.
I still act like that.
Yeah, it's hard, I feel bad forher.
It's hard watching.

(33:03):
I don't know if anyone's dealtwith when you like, um, the
relationship changes.
Yeah, it's like more of a.
You're the parent, you know Idon't know what to do for her
either.
It's super hard Cause my momraised me like you, not very

(33:24):
empathetic.
So if I called her crying, itwas like okay, and so like now
I'm doing that to her and I feelbad, but I'm like I know he
passed, it's horrible, but likeI don't know how to help her.
Yeah, any advice for those ofyou out there that have lost one
parent and have the other oneleft.
It's super hard.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
When my stepmom died, I feel like we took my dad with
us on a lot of things.
Like it was more about him notbeing alone, which your mom is
lucky she lives.
Yeah, I'm really coughingBecause he was living alone and
so we would always be invitinghim.
But you do that, so I thinkthat's really all you can do.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah, it's hard, I know no-transcript.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
It's hard.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
I'm like coughing Do you have something in your
throat.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Oh, yeah, Thanks oh wow, she's the best.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Is that your water Waltish?
What else do you want to talk?

Speaker 2 (34:14):
about today.
You always have something inyour throat.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
No, I don't.
I haven't been acting nasty.
How was your Valentine's Day?
Did you and Ben do anythingspecial?
We went to the casino.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Look at the gambler now I know how was it.
It was okay, it was mid, so hewon.
We sat down, I texted you, hewon like a few hundred dollars
within like 10 minutes.
But then we had invited someother friends to join us because
you were out of town, you knowwho, dave and Kara, and so, um,
but they had a game, their son'sgame, so they had to come later
.
So then we were waiting forthem, so then we should have
left, but then we had to waitand then gave it all back and

(34:54):
then some.
But you know what?
It's kind of like anything inlife, my threshold, so like I
used to be such an anti gamblerthat like if I lost a hundred
dollars I would be sick.
I would be like, oh my God.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
I can't believe it.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
And now it's like oh no.
I lost $300 that night and Iwas like Kara, hey, do you have
$100?
I'll Venmo you.
I was like I'm the new Crystal.
This is escalating.
You really did Swear to God.
I was like I am disgusting, youknow.
I was like hey, you know, and Ididn't want to have to go to
him and be like, hey, can I havea?
hundred bucks, he'd be like youlost another hundred.

(35:29):
So she gave me a hundred andthen I had to Venmo her but I
was like, oh my God, I lost $300.
And like that never would havehappened.
You know me, did you find anygood machines?
No, yeah, we went to the newone.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
Have you been busy?
So I liked that.
But Ben won a little bit at thebeginning but then he lost it.
But yeah, no, I know, I don'tlook at it as a way to make
money.
That's how kind of Kyle Kylelooks at it.
I look at it as like if I took$300 to go on a date night.
Right, you got to anticipatethat.
That's gone.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
well, and this is what I told Ben is like I'm
trying not to eat bad and go outto eat so much, because I feel
like I've been doing that and Ireally want to lock it in so
like there's not much, there'snot much to do and if I go to a
movie, I want we went to a patchand popcorn.
I want the icy and the popcornand the sour patch.
We did that on Saturday.
I ate it all.
I felt horrible.
I'm like it's way better to goto the casino.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
I know, not taking the calories like I know, but
you still feel like you don'tfeel good when you leave
sometimes.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
No, I was like oh, how did I leave?

Speaker 1 (36:27):
Like when you're there it's such a high and I
don't like do drugs or drinkreally.
So I don't really get a highoff, much yeah, but there it's
like ding, ding, ding, ding dingand I'm like yeah, and the
money seems so fake it's like oh, another hundred in.
It doesn't feel like crazy.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
You could have bought something so nice, or like it's
just like a huge like amount.
I'm like that's like groceriesfor the week you know, yeah,
it's crazy.
I was like I'm disgusting, youknow, yeah, but I got over it.
I'm already like, oh, when arewe going again?
Yeah, should we go after this?
But I'm the new you.
I know.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
See, don't judge, that's what I tell people.
Don't judge people, I know,because then it happens to you.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
I know I feel like that happened.
Yeah, I'm going to New.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Jersey tonight.
Yeah, oh, do they have.
My brother usually takes me tothe casino when we go.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Do they have casinos there?
Atlantic City.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Oh, is that close it's?
I like play on my phonesometimes, like when I'm in an
airport or whatever, and it isfake money on there, and it's
just as fun in some ways, really, yeah.
So then when it's real moneyand I get that sick feeling, I'm
like I'd rather just play on myphone, play the fake money.
Yeah, because it's like it'snot really money, it's like I
just want to play on the machine.
Yeah, I don't really want tospend the money.
You just want to play.
Yeah, so it's kind of weird,yeah, yeah.

(37:45):
So I kind of want to tell thisstory, but I don't.
But I, my brain, isn't theretoday because I don't feel good.
But Tisha and I did this supercute thing with our kids and we
sound like idiots, but it's acute story.
So we go to Tahoe every summer.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
I'm telling it yeah, oh my god, it's something to
tell yeah, and we go to LakeTahoe.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
If you guys haven't been, it's amazing.
But stay at the Hyatt, becausea lot of people have gone to the
other part of Tahoe and itdoesn't give us as much of the
magical feeling as the Hyatt inLake Tahoe does.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
It's like northeast Tahoe, it's like small town,
inclined village, pine trees anda lake.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
It's magical and they have a casino there and we've
gone for like seven years.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah, we've gone a long time.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
So the last couple years.
They keep telling us they'regoing to close the beach to
remodel it.
So we've been trying to like,okay, we've made another trip,
so we've gone other placesbecause we weren't going to
Tahoe, and then the lastminute's open, and then we've
been going to Tahoe too, yeah,and then Kyle's all what the you
know.
So this year we booked Tahoethinking it's still going to be
open, still going to be open.
Then they just sent us an emailthat it's really going to be

(38:47):
closed.
This year they're going to redoit and it's officially closed.
Do you think it's?

Speaker 2 (38:49):
officially closed yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
That email was pretty official yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
And it's like on the website.
I feel like it's pretty it'shappening.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah.
So we decided, okay, whereshould we go?
Right, and I know that it'sannoying.
I'm sure it is because wetravel a lot.
People bring it up to me allthe time Really, oh my gosh,
this weekend, like three peoplethey're like and you travel and
I see your post and I hate thatabout posts, but I want the
memories.
But you know we both didn'ttravel as kids.
This is my justification.

(39:15):
My parents went to the casino.
I'm taking my kids to thecasino but like it's just like.
I went on mission trips as akid.
I love seeing, like the world.
I think it's just good.
But where we're going, I'm notreally always showing the kids
another part of the world.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
It's like and we're always in high ends.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
They're like no, but yeah.
So we all picked a place thatwe wanted to go, because we
couldn't decide where to go.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Yeah, and all the kids wanted different places.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
So we all let them write and we never really let
them get a say in anything.
No, they never get a say.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
In to say no, they never get to say and anything.
Yeah, so we let them all writewherever they wanted to go.
It had to be within like fivehours.
Yeah, you know, we're yeahclose, we're really laying the
hammer down.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yeah, stupid, I'm all no tahiti, you know like, idiot
like, but we did.
We're like nothing crazy, justsomewhere you've wanted to go.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
So it was super fun.
They saw it on tiktok, likewhere you like everyone puts in
a hat and you draw it out, likegirls have done it for girls
trips.
So we were like, okay, we'll doit.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
So we did it, it was so fun.
It was so fun and like fivepeople all wanted a cruise, I
put in a cruise and there was alot of us, I put in a cruise too
.
And then who picked?
Kyle?
Fox, I think Fox, oh, Tisha'syoungest, and it was Kyle's.
It was Hawaii, hawaii, so we'regoing to Hawaii.

(40:32):
And then Kyle was like wait,we're really going there.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
I was just putting in a place.
Like he didn't believe it.
We're like no.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Like that's where me too.
So we're just booking that.
We're really excited.
So if you have any good ideasfor Hawaii, but it's a super fun
thing to do, kyle and I havedone it on a date night before
because Kyle's like a kid and helikes when I do these things
for him.
When we were dating, I alwaysdid these things yeah, that is a
fun date night.
So I did it for Valentine's do,and then he got to pick one

(41:06):
yeah, and then he ended upopening them all.
Yeah, because he just thinksit's fun.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
That's what I would do.
And then I'm like, what do youwant to do?

Speaker 1 (41:12):
And he's like this is so fun, but it takes five
minutes.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
And then I've done it with Broxie and you do that in
the bedroom.
You're like Edit, edit, Lee,Edit.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
She's going to call you Lee.
Yeah, that's who does ourediting.
Oh God, it's going to be fineAnyways, but it was really fun.
I did it with Broxton, cause hedoesn't go on all our cheer
trips, so I did envelopes.
He got to pick what we weredoing for the day.
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah, we went to Dave andBuster's.
We went, like it was fun.
That is fun.
Yeah, we wanted our kids tohave memories where, like when

(41:47):
they go away, they want to dothese things.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
Yeah, because I didn't have a ton of that
growing up.
Yeah, we're just into thefamily memories and our kids
think they're like Family,family.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Yeah, they tell people there's a lot of weird
cousins yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
It's fun, yeah, so yeah, I can't believe you told
that story though.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Oh, we're really going away, so I'm excited.
I'm excited.
We have Cooperstown too.
Everybody says that's the besttrip.
Are you going to go?

Speaker 2 (42:10):
I don't know, I'm a little stressed about it.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
Yeah, it's baseball year.
Everybody says it's great.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yeah, everyone says it's great.
I mean Ben's for sure goingbecause he's staying in the
barracks with Bear, but it'sjust the like.
Something's going to happen.
I'm going to be in New Yorkjust stressful, you know, yeah,

(42:37):
anyways.
So, anyways, yeah, but you know, we were talking about baseball
this weekend because we had atournament and, um, ben was
telling me someone is there'ssome like academy or something,
I don't even know, but thereit's's like basically you
homeschool your kid and then yousend him to this like academy
to do baseball all the time, youknow.
And Ben was like are youthinking about it?
No, and so Ben was telling meand I was like, yeah, but like

(43:02):
and I'm not judging anyone thatdoes that, because I think
everyone has their own thing,what they think is great, and
that's great allegedly,allegedly, but I'm I was like I
don't want that's so muchpressure to put on a kid.
Yeah, I already feel like theyhave a lot of pressure so much
pressure and and I was telling,I was telling Ben, I'm like you
know exactly to make it and Iwas telling Ben, just like that

(43:22):
service where that SwayzeBozeman spoke, like him not
getting drafted right away wasthe best thing that ever
happened to him because itincreased his faith.
And I was like, by making it so, like I don't want Bear or any
of our kids to be so obsessedwith making it that they're like
I want their identity to be inJesus and in like who they are

(43:43):
you know yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
I think that's such a good point.
There's a lot of pressure onkids in sports these days and we
talked about how much we loveimagine like oh, my parents
homeschooled me and they put mein this academy every day.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
That's like gymnasts.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
They have that yeah and then, and it's great, and I
do know it- needs.
You need that to get to thenext level, but I also know you
don't always have to have thatwell, I think a lot of kids that
had a lot of pressure on themat young ages for that stuff.
They ended up in high schoolnot even playing the sport
Totally Well, because you can'tmentally take it.
Or if something happens aninjury not even burnout.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
What if you injury and you can never play again?
You're going to be in like adepression because your whole
identity is wrapped up into thatand then it's taken away.
So if your identity is in inJesus and in other things too,
then it's like it's notdetrimental.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Have you?
You never have read theseself-help books, but seven
habits of a highly effectiveperson.
It's the best book ever,besides the other best books.
I said but one of the bigchapters is begin with the end
in mind and it's in anything youdo, picture the ending and then
plan backwards.
So it's funny because we dothis in business Like I'm into
all that stuff like a missionstatement, and begin with end in

(44:48):
mind, or what are your girlsgoals at the year, and now let's
play backwards of how we'regoing to get there and even like
with what I'm picturing, achampionship team, okay, how am
I going to get there?
But we don't always do thatstuff with our families, like we
don't plan it, like to to besuccessful in anything, it's
proven that you need a plan foranything, like when we, when we
sell a house, there's a fullstrategy and plan in order to be

(45:09):
successful.
But why, with our families andour marriages, do we just think
that that stuff isn't asimportant?
We let the very minimum, likewe just ride by the seat of our
pants and like if I stay married, great, if my husband still
likes me, great.
If my kids are priority, great.
But like I sometimes try to like, plan the family too, okay, if
you begin with the end in mind,when my kids are 30, what

(45:30):
matters?
And it's crazy when you reallythink about that.
The pressure of sports and allthose other things kind of
changes your perspective, likeeven when I've missed family
trips because of all-starcheerleading.
If I would have been beginningwith the end in mind, I would
have been like, no, they'regoing to Lake Powell.
That's more important in 10years than this is right now.
So it's like crazy, sometimes Iwill do that.

(45:51):
Okay, who do I want my kids tobe?
Right, like when they'remarried.
I want them to look back onthese memories and actually
Hawaii would be beginning withthe end in mind.
That moment would be somethingthat's a priority to me, that
they had these good familymoments.
But would them running aroundto club sports or them, you know
, is that going to be it?
And sometimes when incheerleading for us it's a very

(46:11):
selfish sport, it's very aboutthem.
Let's buy them this, let's givethem that, let's make it about
them.
But is that really helping themdevelop and who they want we
want them to be?
Well, it is when Drew's prayingwith them and teaching them how
to work and adversity, right,those are the characteristics

(46:32):
that do.
But is winning really helpingthem be better in life?
I don't know.
And like this weekend, wedidn't win, we got third.
We were in second in prelims.
We didn't do our very best, butthe girls fought so hard and it
was the most magical weekendbecause the real things mattered
.
We talked about faith, wetalked about God, we talked
about never giving up.
We treated each other right, weovercame doubt and all these
things.
So for us it was a success, butit maybe wasn't the success of
the world.
You know like by winning Idon't know, it's weird Like even

(46:55):
planning date nights, planningmaking those things a priority
first and then let the otherthings come in play.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
You know like, with our families, sometimes we don't
attack it like we do ourworldly things, our businesses
or our you know, well, that'syeah, like if you think of your
kids at 30, like I want them tobe successful, but like there's
a lot of people that have likesuccess, whether it be in sports
or careers, but they're nothappy.
No, benzo.
I don't think he's happy it'slike what is give you who Jeff

(47:23):
Benzo Isn't that?

Speaker 1 (47:24):
his name Bezos Bezos.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, Amal who's?
Benzo.
I thought you were talkingabout Ben Amal.
Is that his new name, amal?
I like Bunny better, but BenzoWhatever.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
Amal is just so sweet .
Bezos, yeah, and you're all youidiot.
Yeah, I know I'm like what theyou know well.
But I don't think he's happy.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yeah, and like fulfillment and happiness and
what really brings you, thatwould be obviously there.
That'd be making church apriority.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Like all those things Right.
I was just thinking that.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
This church this weekend was about that, yeah,
and it was like about how big ofa priority it is, and it's so
true because I'm like you canhave all the things but you
won't be happy.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
I mean, yeah, I feel like I do want to be rich, but
but I'm already happy and I'mnot.
Yeah, benzos, he is rich, buthe lost his marriage, exactly.
Yeah, he's not with his kidsevery night when he says good
night, right, I don't know.
I think that if he would havebegan with the end in mind I say
this all the time right, peoplelose their family, providing
for their family.
Right, he just wanted toprovide a good life for his
family in building this company.
Yeah, I saw this thing.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
And then he lost his family.
A mom has to like make $85,000a year to in order to feel the
impact of her job after daycare.
That's so much money Like a lotof people don't make $85,000 a
year.
So like if you're making lessthan $85,000, it's not worth you
working.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Staying at work.
Yeah, like that's crazy.
Well, that's what happened whenI was teaching.
I was like for us to pay fordaycare.
It's my whole paycheck.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Yeah, so you're paying for someone else to raise
your kids.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
I know it's hard because I juggle that where I
feel guilty certain weeks, likeI was out of town all week
without my other two kids, I,and I'm feeling so guilty.
So I think I'm going to getBroxton early from school and
like take him to a movie, andagain, school might be a
priority, but if I'm beginningwith the end in mind, me showing
up for him is way moreimportant.
It's so funny because Kyle wasraised and I was raised where we

(49:19):
didn't miss school.
You were raised where you wereallowed to miss school and I'm
the opposite now.
Yes, and I like think it's thestupidest thing.
I would be so sick at schooland I would be like, why can't I
be home?
Yeah, but my parents wereworking and didn't want to worry
about me at home.
And like, now that Maddie's inhigh school, she never misses
school and I'm so glad I let hermiss in elementary school, even
though I got attendance lettersand stuff.
Not like it was just free fall,but I'm so glad I did that.

(49:41):
Yeah, anyways, begin with theend in mind.
Like in the bedroom, yeah,exactly, see you next week.
Welcome to jerking around apodcast that makes you feel
better about yourself becausewe're a mess, just like you, and
crystal makes fun of me, andit's great, and it's real.
Bye.