January 6, 2025 • 49 mins
What if you could transform grief into a catalyst for growth and connection?
Join us as we navigate the emotional landscape of loss, sharing deeply personal stories of our first Thanksgiving without my dad and the bittersweet memories of our last family trip to Vegas. Through tears and laughter, we highlight the healing power of humor and the importance of open communication in relationships.
Discover how we use the insights from "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" to foster personal growth and authenticity amidst life's challenges.
Our journey doesn't stop there. We dive into the complexities of friendship, leadership, and personal evolution. Ever wondered how simplifying your life could bring about profound change? We explore the art of letting go, from decluttering holiday traditions to facing unexpected financial stressors. Listen as we candidly share how personal loss has reshaped our priorities and the value of listening to nonfiction audiobooks as a tool for self-improvement.
In the final segment, we tackle the dynamics of strong personalities and the dance of parenting through the lens of humor and resilience. Discover the beauty in embracing differences within marriage and parenting, and how finding peace in unpredictability can lead to unexpected joys. Through stories of past relationship struggles and the importance of authenticity, we aim to inspire listeners to find harmony in life's messiness and trust in a greater plan.
Join us for an episode of introspection, laughter, and heartfelt realizations.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you
feel better about yourself,because we're a mess just like
you, and Crystal makes fun of methe whole time and it's great
and it's real.
Today we talk about Tisha beingmean to me.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
We talk about the fight we had a minor.
I wouldn't say it's a fight.
I'd say you're more mad at me,but we had an issue, we resolved
it.
She hurt my feelings, yeah,anyways.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And I didn't mean to, but we resolved it.
We talk about intention.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Talk about parenting?
Yes, Husbands?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yes, my dad, we talk a little bit about grief and
then we also talk about Tisha'ssurgery she has on her
hemorrhoids.
No, today we are talking abouta lot of interesting things.
Yeah, thanksgiving, how?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
was your Thanksgiving , Tisha?
Mine was good you were gone.
Yeah, mine.
We went to the Bahamas.
It was really fun.
How was yours?
It was the first one withoutyour dad, oh, thanks.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Um, it was actually really good.
Yeah, Um, my lot.
Well, I guess we'll get serious.
We don't do that a lot, but myanniversary of my dad passing
was yesterday, so, um, so that'sa little emotional and fresh,
and Tisha really pissed me offyesterday.
We'll talk about that later,but um so, anyways, I was
obviously more emotional, sotoday might be a little bit more
(01:24):
somber, but this was my firstholiday without my dad and I was
really nervous about it, but itwent really well.
Last year my dad was very likethings were changing, so that
year was harder for me.
It was like you know how peoplesay.
There's that like impeding doomfeeling.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, it was right before, yeah, and I really right
before yeah, and I really hadthat.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah, I was so sick.
If you remember and if you havebeen listening to us for a
while, I think I talked aboutthat last year.
I was getting headaches, I wasgetting probably panic attacks
because I was getting reallydizzy out of nowhere.
I would have thought textbook.
I was fully sick, like I wentto the hospital for headaches, I
like it was bad and, um, Itotally knew what it was.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
By the way, thank you , I'm not a doctor, but I should
be.
No, yeah, it's hard.
Yeah Well, I just knew you andI knew like how he was and like
I could tell that like you werestruggling, but you weren't like
admitting it to yourself alittle bit, you know, which is
normal to be kind of in denialthat something could happen
anytime.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
You know well, I wasn't in denial.
I was very alert of what washappening.
Yeah, that's why I was so upsetso upset yeah like watching um,
someone like your dad, who'sbeen the strongest man on the
planet, struggle like that wasawful, but we're blessed that he
wasn't like in a hospital bedand like taking his last breath.
We didn't have to do hospice oranything like that, but his
(02:49):
body was literally failing himand he was mentally pretty all
there.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
So that was like so hard and so tough to have your
body be failing and you'regambling and like running all
over like he's just in thescooter, but like traveling,
yeah, like that's a lot yes, thelast, yeah, so my, my dad
passed away in vegas.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
We went for a family trip, which we don't do a lot,
and it's crazy.
Even like that, I miss thestate game to go to vegas.
Like I coach a team and ourfootball team went to state and
the fact that I wasn't there isjust so, not like me, but I went
.
We all went to vegas andeverybody told us you know, your
dad shouldn't go to Vegas.
He's not doing well, he's gonnadie.
But we all knew, and we talkedto him about that, that this
(03:29):
would be a big trip for him, arewe sure it's a good idea?
And we all decided to to stillgo.
And we got there and we had agreat time and I, some of you
have heard the story and we allwent.
He gambled, which is hisfavorite thing.
That's where I've gotten itfrom.
My parents are big gamblers.
And then we all went to dinner,had italian dinner.
My aunt and uncle, his sisterwas there, my cousin was there.
(03:50):
We had this great thing.
I even yelled to him in ourlast picture, as a family told
him to look alive because hewasn't looking good and our
family jokes that's what we do,so I knew he wasn't looking good
like he thought it was funny.
He probably laughed, he laughedand smiled and and then, um,
they gambled and they went tobed and we he woke up in like
three in the morning to go tothe bathroom.
(04:10):
My mom helped him, he told herhappy birthday and then at five
he didn't wake up.
So we all went in there, wewere with him for hours, hugged
him.
Um, it got weird when the thepolice had to tell me to get off
of it, like Like this is acrime scene and you're now like
fully, like I think I had my legover him.
I mean, I was fully on him.
But so all that like replayingall that has been not my
(04:32):
favorite this week and likewhere we were, what was going on
, how it happened and thereality that he's like still
gone.
Yeah, it's hard but we're doinggood.
It's hard but we're doing good.
The holiday was great.
My mom got drunk, so that wasfun, um, and she's a real fun
(04:54):
drunk.
She handles hard things reallywell.
My family, we joke, so we madejokes about it all day.
That you know dad's sleepingCause that's what my mom tells
people.
She's.
You know, she's funny.
So she tells everyone that, um,people were calling her phone.
That you know thosetelemarketers yeah, and she
tells me them her husband died,like they don't want to know.
So I'm calling me my husbanddied and I'm like they don't
(05:16):
care.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
But like she tells people he's sleeping At the
casino.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
They always ask her where he is.
She says sleeping.
That's sad.
My brother and I are are likewe don't know if we should
intervene.
He's not sleeping, he's inheaven.
So we kept telling everyone hewas sleeping.
Um, but it was good.
It was hard, but it was reallygood.
I think after, like I guess wecould call this the year after
reflection.
You, I'm just not the sameperson I was a year ago.
(05:41):
Yeah, like that's so clear tome.
The last like two weeks,especially looking back on who I
was last year, what washappening last year, how
invested I was in work.
I, I am not that investedanymore.
I don't care about things likethat as much.
I am very more attentive towhat's here now, which was
something for years I couldn'tgrasp like being present.
Yeah, I feel like I'm sopresent now that it's almost was
(06:02):
something for years I couldn'tgrasp like being present.
Yeah, I feel like I'm sopresent now that it's almost
like bad, like I don't carewhat's happening other places,
right, I don't know.
It's weird how like lifehumbles the crap out of you.
Money doesn't matter to a pointthat it's getting weird, like it
needs to matter a little bit, Idon't know.
Just being with my kids, beingwith my husband this week, was
(06:23):
very family and I loved it,whereas that stuff maybe didn't
fulfill me as much before, to behonest, really, yeah, totally
Not at all.
Yeah, like I was listening toour podcast.
You talk about how much youwanted to be a stay home mom and
how bad I didn't, and that waseven like recent, and I still am
.
Like I, I never wanted it andnow I never wanted it and now
(06:46):
it's all I want.
Yeah, just to be like home andnot have all the stress on my
plate.
I just want to be in the hereand now.
But my aunt's very sick too, youknow.
She has a type of melanomathat's very dangerous and
terminal, so I think it's justall around me.
Yeah, like it's like a constantreminder all the time that,
like today is not today is it?
Tomorrow is not promised.
So I think death can be like ablessing.
I feel like I've been on pauseat work and I'm like as soon as
(07:09):
I get over my dad, we'll getback.
And then I had this epiphanythat it's been a year, like you
got to get back, but I justcan't get there.
I really enjoy the podcast, solet's get famous.
Yeah, because I love that LikeI used to it just changed, you
just change.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, I think things just happen and you just change,
and maybe that's just not yourpath anymore.
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Tisha's still selling houses.
So if you're still interested,we still stage, we still sell
houses faster than anyone and westill have a team.
I just honestly am more um likekind of look from the outside,
more like managing everythingfrom above.
I haven't been taking as manyclients myself, but we're still
doing a great job.
We're still.
(07:48):
I just was mad the other daybecause I like to be really good
at things and I was like thisis stupid, we suck at work.
And then we made like everylist and I showed me too, as a
leader, how proud you are whenyour team can go on without you.
Like, usually I'm carrying alot of sales and it's we've been
on the list without my sales,so that makes me super proud.
Like, we built something reallycool and that everybody can go
(08:10):
on without me.
I actually was thinking today Ithink everybody's better now
without me, Like you.
Just, you know, it's like aparent with their kids, Like
sometimes my daughter has betteradvice than I do, Cause she's
taken a little from me and thentaken a little from her, and it
makes her like a better versionLike you.
I think you're like better thanme now, which is like you're
like my prodigy in a way and I'mlike no, I feel like you took a
(08:31):
little of me and then you takea little of you and it makes it
good.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Well, I feel like a good leader like has people like
.
You're not a good leader ifeveryone's always under you or
needing you, yeah, or like not.
You should have them be to likeyou.
That's how, like.
That's the goal of leadershiplike.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Walt should be died before I think right, was it
California?
One or one of them opened andit's gone on right like Steve
Jobs.
It's gone on bigger without him.
Ccv, ccv.
Even so, it is a definition ofa good leader and I, I think
I've learned that I can likestep back and we've done things
a lot different too this lastyear in business.
I mean, we used to do so muchand I think I've just learned
(09:12):
that all those things just don'tmatter as much.
Yeah, we're talking about thaton the way here, besides talking
about our fight, but we we'renot talking about the fight on
here.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
We're not talking about the fight.
We can't say what the fight onhere.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
We're not talking about the fight.
We can't say what the fight wasabout.
It was about someone wants apiercing and someone doesn't
think it's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
It's about no, it's about friendships.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
We're going to talk about it Somebody has
hemorrhoids and needs surgeryand somebody doesn't, yeah, and
I told her the surgery isn'tthat bad.
I've heard it's not bad.
No, but um, what were wetalking about?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Oh, on the way here.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Reflection Like even so, I have a Christmas party
every year, but I didn't have itlast.
Well, we've like Last year wedidn't, we didn't.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
We didn't have it last year Because your dad had
just died.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Because it was supposed to be the weekend my
dad passed and it was weirdbecause we did an Ev.
My friends messaged out on theEvite that the party was
canceled without even talking tome, which was great, because
it's something you don't reallywant to say, right, like it's
not the easiest thing to say it.
So, like some of my friendsmaybe, were frustrated Like you
didn't tell me right away.
(10:20):
I was like it's still not aneasy thing.
That's why my mom tells peoplehe's sleeping.
Yeah, it's like not the easiestthing to say yeah.
So it was nice that everybodyfound out all at once, without
like a social media post or youhaving to call everyone.
Yeah, that was all really hardfor me.
Even yesterday I wanted to postfor my mom's birthday because
then more people will tell herhappy birthday and she loves
that stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So I wanted to post because that'll help her get
more.
Everybody that texts her, shemom guess who texts me?
Oh, blah, blah, blah.
She gets so excited.
So I wanted to do that, but Ialso couldn't deny that my dad.
But it's not easy for me toshare.
I don't like talking aboutthings that really hurt, Like I
like talking about dumb things,but the real things I don't like
talking about.
That's why I'm closing my eyeslike an idiot.
But it's fine.
(11:00):
It's not easy, but anyways, Ithink, like even my Christmas
party, I'm like I just want itsuper casual and kids never come
because everyone thinks it'scollege and they're on the
counter and it gets weird.
But I'm like I just don't careanymore about all the things.
Yeah, the Pinterest life ofhaving things so cute, I don't
know, it's just stupid.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah Well, I think like I don't care about that
stuff either.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I think when your kids get older too, you're just
like that stuff is dumb yeah,I'm like now that I'm on a
budget because I'm not making asmuch money on my own and I have
to like think about thingsdifferently.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I'm just like from Kyle, yes, and myself like I'm
not bringing in.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, I used to make pretty good money and so, but
but whole tour forms is stillgoing.
You know if you still want usto sell your own weekend, but um
, I just, you know you have tohustle it.
When you're in your ownbusiness you have to hustle to
make money.
So we, I'm not hustling, so I'mnot making what I usually make.
So now I can't spend what Iusually spend on all these
things.
(11:54):
So I'm like, do I really want?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
but I do really want a bartender, yeah so I still
have a bartender coming no, andI feel like Kyle's pretty good
about parties.
He's like he's in support of,like a good party.
He likes a good time yeah, hedoes.
He's not like wound tight, butlikes a good, like a vacation.
No, you're not getting far withhim on that.
A good party he's down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
So, yeah, again, not as funny today, but I was
listening to this book today.
Um, if you've never listened,tisha won't listen to anything
self I have created a habitwhere I walk, usually every day,
and then I listen to somethingto fuel my mind, which sounds
really dorky, but I really liketo learn, right, so I listen In
(12:38):
75 Hard.
You have to read 10 pages of anonfiction book every day and I
can't read.
If you've seen me spell oryou've heard me read out loud,
it's special.
So I listen out loud while Iwalk and I've read so many good
books.
I really highly recommend itand it starts your day off with
fuel instead of like problemsyeah, I think garbage like yes,
(13:00):
like Instagram or even reality,I don't mind like so.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I don't mind like an educational book on, like you
said, like the podcast book youread or something I would read,
something like that.
That, like gave givesinformation.
I just don't like themotivational self-help like I
don't.
I don't know why I don't, Ican't read those, it's just like
yeah, I can't physically readthem.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, I can listen to them, but I don't know if you
can listen.
I don't like listening.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I don't even like when the podcast and I don't
even like when the churchservice is more motivational and
less biblical.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
You like facts.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I'm like I want some facts.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I want some biblical, some not.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I don't need a motivational speech, I'm
motivated, so it's weird.
But I do like reading the Bible.
It's weird, but it not weird.
It's not weird, but sometimesI'll wake up and read it with my
coffee and I'm in a way bettermood and I do feel like it gives
me so much like clarity aboutand the Bible is like really
(13:59):
helpful too about things.
It just like realigns me so Ican read that.
I can read it and I cannotReally, I've tried so many times
.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I'm like what are they talking about?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Oh, I've read Revelations like five times.
Oh, I cannot read the.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Bible whatsoever.
I need the Bible.
I can read the story Really asthe Bible in story form.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I can't read all of the Bible, but I can read
certain parts.
Oh, I get lost.
Oh, and it's so good.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I'm like this is so the Bible is good on like.
I listen on audio, yeah, but Ican't like just read a small
portion and take anything fromit.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh, I read and then I feel like it gives me like
clarity and I'm like, oh my gosh, or like I like reading of,
like revelations, like things tocome.
I'm like it's just really likeinteresting.
So maybe I need to find likebooks that are like factual yeah
, and I could read those butlike self-helpy, but more
factual, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yeah, more like proven.
Yes, you just don't believepeople.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
No, I don't believe anybody.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
So you don't think anybody knows anything.
They don't you.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I know more than all of them.
So it's like when they'retalking, I'm like ah.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Totally but this you would like Stephen Covey's
habits of highly effectivepeople Right Cause that's more
factual.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
It's more like.
These are things that areproven to work Right, based on
like research.
I'm into that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
It's and he's very like not self-helpy, it's very
like these are tools.
Why are you doing this?
And I've read it a bunch oftimes.
When you were telling me aboutit, it sounded so good.
So today I was listening and,um, I was trying to go to the
Bahamas with Tisha, anytime tothe Bahamas with Tisha.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Anytime Tisha goes on a trip, I want to go because
she plans a really good trip,yeah, and I want to go planned.
And then she teases me, shedoes this thing where she's like
maybe I'll go Cause, I was likeshe's definitely not going,
kyle's not going to go for it.
So always in my mind youweren't going to go Cause.
I'd asked you back when we wereplanning I know, but my aunt,
I'm regretting that.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
So bad, next time I'm scheduling it from the
beginning.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Okay, and then I can cancel it Because at the
beginning I was like come.
She was like no, Kyle won't gofor it.
So then I gave up and then,right before you were like, oh,
I wanted to go.
So bad, I want to go.
And she's looking flights, I'mlooking flights.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I'm going to give her 60,000 points and Ben's like
what's going on like I was justoh, I wanted to go, so bad it
was such a tease.
I was like fighting with Kyleabout it.
That's typically how we get togo on a trip.
Kyle's my husband.
He's very type a.
He's my opposite.
He's very smart with money hedoesn't.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, he doesn't do good with the last minute either
.
You have to have a plan withhim.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
He's very logical he likes buying toys and things, I
like memories.
So it's like your opposite andI do think that's natural and
healthy to have your opposite.
But I do think in marriagesometimes it's really
frustrating to always have youropposite Like right.
We just see things sodifferently and it's weird with
you.
You're a lot like him and I.
I think sometimes we forget tolike, oh like good marriage
(16:49):
advice years ago I heard, but Idon't follow, but I'm going to
start following is you alwayswant to assume the best in the
other person, Like you alwayswant to know their intentions
are pure Right, which is so truewhen you think about it
logically, but sometimes whenyou get like I'm also our fight.
Hmm, remember, no I normallythink that until you said that
nasty thing about me.
No, I do.
(17:11):
That's why I always get alongwith you.
Yeah, I always know yourintentions are pure Right, like
I never think you're out to getme, I know and.
I'm not doing anything weird.
Jury's out, but no, the jury'snot out.
It's going to be fine, but somedays I get sensitive, and
that's what happened yesterday.
It was an off day.
Yes For an off comment.
That would have probably neverbothered me.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Sometimes I'm more I think about things before I say
them yes, and I didn't think,and I didn't say the nicest, we
can't.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
We'll have to discuss it.
Let's quit talking about it.
No, we have to discuss it now.
No, just quit talking about it.
It's true, to our listenersthey don't care.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
We're being honest podcast.
Have you listened?
No, but I listen.
I watch it on Instagram.
I know I hate when people saythat.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Like people are like I watch your podcast.
I'm like a 30 second clip isnot my podcast and you're doing
that with hers.
I do it with hers.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, like you're not watching your podcast, I listen
to it.
It's not, I won't listen to it,but I'll watch the clips Little
30 second clips are great.
Oh, I love the 30 second clips.
They make me want to listen,but you haven't even listened.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, people always like I watched your podcast, I'm
like you did so, did you hear?
They're like no, I'm all.
You watched a clip, getwatching it, hear the whole
thing.
But your clips are very good,tyler, right, so I think that's
where, like, I sometimes letpeople too close, where I see
some things in them that I'mlike, but I'm like I love them
(18:29):
anyways.
Right, you know, because peoplehave loved me anyways, because
I am a jerk, right, like, if youlisten to the podcast when you
meet me in public, you think I'mso nice.
I would say I seem very nice tonormal people, oh totally.
Which this is like.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Tyler probably thinks you're way nicer than me.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
No no, tyler and I have had talks.
Tyler look, yeah, see, he'sseeing the other side now, right
, tyler?
No, we've had like, but thatmeans you're in my inner circle.
When you see the real, thatmeans like we're bonding.
Yes, that sounds bad, but onlya few people see the not-so-nice
side of me, right, honestly,yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Like my whole team has.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Like I see it all the time, yeah, but not all.
See, Tyler, You're in the innercircle now.
I'm not every day he wouldn'tsay I'm so nice, yeah, he would
say you're nicer now, really,yes, I don't know.
So when people get to know memore, tisha's actually nicer
than me Sometimes I would saythat Once you're in with Tisha,
it's nice all the time, right,she'siders get jerked by me.
(19:31):
Yes, yes, it's so weird.
Yeah, you're right.
All my best friends will agreewith this.
I give time to all the outsiders, right, I don't give time to
the insiders.
I am like nicer.
I'm more forgiving to theoutsiders, way more.
Yes, I know this, know why it'sa thing.
(19:52):
So I feel like our the jerkies.
Yeah, no, I'm not that nice,because now they've heard me say
more things than like theaverage person.
Totally.
So I do feel like the everybodyknows now that I'm very like,
believe in everybody.
But once you're like close tome, you can hurt me.
And then I'm very sensitive,like what happened yesterday,
right?
So if that was a random wherethey said this one thing that
offended me, right, it would.
It would have been no big deal.
I would have loved them.
I would have been like they'rehaving a bad day.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yes, but because it was you it was like no, it was
like I killed somebody and Ijust didn't.
I didn't say the right thing itwas.
I'm not discounting what I said, because I didn't realize it
was offensive.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yes, Because I wasn't meaning it to be offensive.
So when I like people, I dowant Tisha to always um tell me
if I'm liking the wrong person,because we've had well, because
a few times now I didn't likethe people she's bringing around
into our inner circle again.
I don't care if they're justyour Joe Schmo acquaintance, but
when they're coming around ourinner circle I am a little more
(20:49):
protective so when I likesomeone like, it doesn't happen
that often, but when I likesomeone like a lot in a new meet
, I get like excited veryexcited.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Then I started bringing them in in everything,
in all the things.
It's like it's zero to ahundred.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yes, so, and then what she meant was something
else, Right?
So we were still talking aboutit again today.
How it hurt my feelings and howblah, blah, blah.
And I didn't mean for it tohurt her feelings and she just
knows that what she's saying is,when I'm intrigued by somebody,
that's her word is intrigued.
Yes, we'll say.
She used a different wordyesterday that I didn't love, I
did and I was like you think Ijust like people for like
(21:26):
different reasons, right?
That isn't why I like people.
Maybe money, sex and power.
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It's ditty, but kind of, but I don't want to say too
much about the details no, and Ithink it's great that you
believe in everybody I do.
I think it's such a greatquality.
I think it's great that youwant to see the best in people
and love them if you see a need.
I think that is like how Godcreated you and you're that way
for a reason.
So I think that's amazing.
I just don't always love when Ifeel like maybe they're kind of
(21:59):
weird and then they're around.
I'm like but so that's it.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So I was.
We're still talking about today.
That was a fight, but it wasthe anniversary of my dad.
So I was super sensitive aboutlike a lot right and she got
like a lot right.
And she got like a little sassyand she doesn't always do that
or she can read the days to dothat, yes.
So she got sassy and it waslike we were working and I was
just like wasn't a good I getvery embarrassed in front of
other people too about likeprivate things, right, like I
seem like I'm really out there.
(22:26):
Like my mother-in-law the otherday was like crystal.
You totally fart in front ofkyle and I was like I do not
yeah I'm like very private, likeit's weird.
I'm more out, yes, but youwould seem more private on the
outside.
But you're actually totallyfart in front of ben and poop
with the door open.
It's so like no way.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I don't know why I would shut the door in my own
house.
It's like it's.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
I live here I want to know it's open.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I want to know sometimes be like gosh, can you
turn the fan on?
It smells.
I'm like no, go in the otherroom, like I don't want the fan
on.
It's too loud and I like to sitand and it's weird, you let him
help you wipe.
No, I don't.
That's so dumb.
He's all finally clean.
Yeah, gross.
No, I don't do that, but I dopoop with the door open and I
think it's weird if you don't.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
And do you fart Like like I don't fart a lot, but
when I do, they're silent butdeadly, and I totally do it.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I'm like, oh, watch out.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, isn't that funny.
And I'm like, so, not like that, I'm like way more private with
private things.
But like, but I give theillusion, I'm like like Bonnie's
like you, I would think youlike run around naked.
I was like, yeah, that's fine,Right, but I don't fart.
I don't fart in front of myfriends, Like if I do, it's like
really embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, Remember when one came out that one time at
the cabin and I was like what isgoing quarter?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, because that story is reminding me of some
things.
But as a teacher and coach Ihave seen kids more as a teacher
, that people have wrote off.
Written off, how do you say it?
Written off?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Written off.
I feel like written off.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Written off as like a bad kid or like they don't
listen or they're not trying.
That's like one of my biggestpet peeves.
Hardly listen or they're nottrying that's like one of my
biggest pet peeves.
Hardly ever is someone nottrying more often.
When people aren't trying atsomething, it's because there's
a lack of confidence there,right?
But I've always been the kidthat people said were bad or
weren't trying, or like myfriends misunderstood me and
(24:24):
thought I was a jerk because Iwas like a bullyish well, I
think that's where you thinkthat the people are just needing
someone to believe in them andthen they won't have these
things anymore that you'retrying to help with.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yes, so, which is good, and I do think you can be
right.
I just think in some cases, youcan be wrong too, especially as
adults.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah, I think I get it wrong more than I get it
right, but the ones I get rightthey're like really exciting,
great, yeah, yeah and like getit right, but the ones I get
right.
They're like really great, yeah,yeah, and like a lot of people
closest to me.
I think this is what you weretrying to say with the other
person you use, which you wordedthat wrong too?
Was that like, sometimes,people that other people don't
(25:05):
like or get annoyed by, or like?
I like really strongpersonalities, whether it be
clearly, whether it be likeeverything I believe in, nothing
I believe in.
Like Jamie, one of our bestfriends we probably have
different views on a lot, right,she's one of my best best
friends, so I like a lot of likediverse people and I feel like
you're more like you, like yourpeople that are like more like
(25:27):
you, yes, and I like you knowwhat I'm saying.
Yes, if you look at my bestbest friends, they're so
different.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Mm, hmm, I think you like, I think that is you like a
strong personality.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, I love a strong personality.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
And I don't love a strong personality.
I'm like Shut up.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
But that's probably where things get hard, right?
Because when I bring anotherstrong personality in with you,
it's like annoying.
I'm like who's this bitch?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
no, I'm just kidding yeah, it's funny we're getting
really deep it's like acounseling session that is
really funny, though, because Ido think that's where I don't
love the strong personalities asmuch.
Personalities, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
I feel like a lot interesting.
That's maybe what you meantwith your bad wording.
Is like strong people.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Strong people are intriguing to me, yes, no matter
what.
Yes, like Tyler's.
Intriguing to me, mm-hmm,because he's very like strong,
very smart in his craft.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Take your shirt off, Tyler.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, speaking of, we're going to Anyways, okay, so
the book I was reading Kyle'svery strong too, which is funny.
Um, the book I was readingseven habits of highly effective
people is so good.
I read it.
In college I had a really likeboyfriend.
I didn't understand.
(26:40):
Well, we were just weren'tmeant to be together, which you
guys?
I saw my ex-boyfriend at the Iif you listen, you know who you
are, because you're going toknow when I say it, and I talked
about you on a podcast and Ihave utmost respect for you.
We just weren't meant to be.
I saw him at the game game, atthe Liberty game, the high
school I coach at.
He was there with his kids andI was driving home because I
don't like to take the bus withthe cheerleaders.
It's just like I don't lovebeing on a bus.
I feel like confined, you know,like I'm stuck with them.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I feel like it's crashing.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yes, all of it, but my daughter's.
I just don't like it, so Idrive separate.
So I was driving home and itwas totally that Garth Brooks
song.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I just thought when you were saying that.
I just thought of that song andit was out of game Like Friday
night.
I think of that song all thetime.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yes, and it was like sometimes I thank God for
unanswered prayers.
It's so good.
Yes, and I was talking to oneof my cheerleaders I know
they're not innocent, but I'mlike you're not and we had a
great talk about like all thethings sex dating, all the
things and I was talking aboutmy ex-boyfriend and I saw him
(27:38):
and I was like, oh my gosh, andI was telling her we just
weren't right and I was tryingto make it right and it just
wasn't right.
And sometimes, when you'retrying to work at something so
much, like my worst day withKyle is my best day with any
other guy, right, like he nevermakes me feel sick to my stomach
.
I never don't feel like heloves me.
I never like he drives me nutsbecause we're different, but
(27:58):
like I never feel it's not likethe relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
No is an issue feelings.
Oh my gosh, all the people areno, I, I literally thought of
that song when you were, I andit.
We were talking about this lastweek.
I think it was like howsometimes we're so song when you
were, we were talking aboutthis last week.
I think it was like howsometimes we're so busy when
you're like a maker, thingshappen.
You are so used to makingthings go your way.
I'm very like that.
You're like that too andsometimes you miss like, was it
(28:25):
you?
I was talking about this withyeah, we talked about it a lot
lately and like sometimes youmiss why God is doing things,
but it was like so good, like,even if you miss like a flight,
maybe it's because of and if youjust look at everything through
that lens of, why is thishappening?
Oh, it must be because it'slike what God wants.
You're less stressed out aboutit, about the things not going
(28:47):
your way If it's not working out.
I wish I could like tell thatto my kids.
I can.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Yes.
So Natalie Natalie, my bestfriend growing up and she's
still one of my best friends she, um, we went on this thing.
Her dad is Tom, he's a pastor,you're squeaking um and we were
very involved in youth group andwe, like you and I, went on our
love everyone thing.
We went on it's all gonna workout.
So every day, no matter whathappened, we'd go on it's all
gonna work out.
So every day, no matter whathappened, we'd go great, it's
all gonna work out andeverything worked out.
It does.
Like we didn't have money to goto JB's.
You'd get like free ice cream.
(29:19):
We'd be like it's all gonnawork out.
And then, all of a sudden, we'drun into someone and they'd be
like, hey, you want to go toJB's.
Like we don't have any money.
They're like I do.
We'd be like it's all going towork out.
Right, guess, we're not goingto the movies tonight.
And then we ended up having thebest night ever Met up with
some randoms Not like randompeople on the street, like
random friends, like we weren'tplanning to hang out and then
(29:39):
plans unfolded into the bestplan ever, yes.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
So we always sat back and we're like it's all going
to work upset or wondering whythis is happening, and knowing,
oh, this is meant to be.
This way You'd have such abetter peace about everything.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, I think that's something I've actually leaned
into the last year is I've beenlike less control.
I don't want control ofeverything because I think
seeing my dad pass in the way hepassed, if I were to pick the
most perfect day ever, the waymy dad would want to die, that
would have been it.
It was crazy, it was so like itwas even my niece Lincoln and
(30:22):
I've talked about that a littleon old podcasts.
But my niece Lincoln was bornwith a congenital heart defect
and a bunch of other medicalissues.
She lived.
They wanted my sister-in-law toterminate the pregnancy and my
sister-in-law's a person offaith, and decided if God wants
this baby to be born, she'll beborn and it's in God's hands.
And they totally let go ofcontrol, which has to be so hard
(30:44):
.
And Lincoln lived 13 months andit was the biggest blessing in
all of our lives.
My life is forever changedbecause of Lincoln.
We, kyle and I, made so many bigdecisions during that time that
changed the trajectory of ourwhole life and we saw like life
in front of our hands.
That was so precious.
But I think sometimes the wayLincoln passed was the most
beautiful thing, as much as itwas so hard.
(31:04):
It was like so God and samewith my dad.
I always worried.
I always knew my dad wasn'tgoing to be in a hospice or in a
nursing home or have full-timecare, and I think why I made
myself so sick during those twoweeks before he passed is I saw
where it was time to make adecision.
He couldn't live just with mymom anymore.
We were having to go check onhim all day.
(31:26):
This is intimate, but my dadlives with my brother and one
day I went to go surprise themand bring them dinner and I saw
my dad had like had an accidentand that was like.
Saw my dad had like had anaccident and that was like my
dad would never have my mom helpwith something like that.
Right, he's such a man man.
Right, and like.
(31:46):
Seeing that, I was like hewon't want to live like this
much longer.
Right, like he's just aprideful man.
No, he would never want to live.
And that was such a pivotalmoment.
I'll never forget it.
And I was like, oh, it'sgetting time, but I worried we
were going to have to get anurse or we were going to have
to do something.
So I was making myself sick andmy dad got to go out.
My mom and I talked aboutyesterday we almost thought he
was turning a corner because mydad almost died like 10, 12, 15
(32:07):
times so many times we all werelike.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Every December he was in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Yeah, Every December.
We almost lost him, that's why,it's so beautiful still that he
died in December, like it's histime.
December was always hospitaltime.
I always missed everything inDecember.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
His lungs are filling .
He's sick.
It happened every year, so itwas in.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
December.
We and we thought he wasturning a corner because,
weirdly, he was starting to do alittle better while we were in
Vegas.
So I didn't go help him to theroom that night, cause he was,
like, had some pep in his step,right, he gambled, he I think he
even had a drink and it wasliterally like an Italian meal
with his favorite people.
If I were to write how he wouldhave wanted to go in the casino
, it would have been it.
(32:45):
But if we would have tried tolike step in that weekend and
not send him to Vegas becauseeveryone told us not to right,
he might've passed in my mom andmy brother's house and that
would have changed everything.
Right, like having that memorythere.
Right, it was like we all go toVegas all the time.
So it's like going to someone'sgravesite, kind of Like we're,
(33:06):
and anytime we all gamble.
I think of my dad.
It's just weird.
And even yesterday my mom'sbirthday was when he passed and
we didn't love it when it firsthappened, but we were trying to
focus on my mom's birthdayyesterday more than him passing.
So it's kind of like a blessing.
But I told my mom, if they bothgo, it's going to be a really
horrible day.
Oh, that's a horrible day, Iknow, but God has a plan.
But I think when we live likethat, I don't know, and with
(33:29):
that boyfriend, if I would havejust let it fall, right, so what
?
What I was saying it all reallyis going together is I was
listening to the book of sevenhabits because I was with him
and I was trying to changemyself to make us work.
You know, when you do that,like chameleon we've all had the
chameleon era where, like I hadbangs and black hair because
(33:49):
she was dating a Mexican.
Is that?
Is that politically correct?
You say it like that.
So Latino?
Are they the?
They the same Hispanic?
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Oh yeah, we got to be fluent.
Yeah, it's funny.
So Kennedy was texting a boylast night and he's Mexican and
Ben goes oh, she's got your,your genes.
She likes the Mexicans.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Deja always dated Mexicans.
I love a Mexican yeah, she does, and she loves Mexican food.
I still do, yeah, I do, andtheir family would make all the
tamales.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I learned to make really good tacos.
I love a Mexican, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
But we try to change.
You try to look more Mexican.
I did yeah.
So the chameleon era if you'rein it, stop trying to make it
work.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Right, you shouldn't.
I never changed one thing forBen?
In fact, I feel like I'm moremyself.
You are more yourself with himthan anyone.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Crazy.
Yeah, I feel like I'm moremyself too when Kyle wasn't
coming with me on Thanksgiving.
You know when you think you'relike I'm.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Joe.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Miss Independent and I'm always like I got it and
like there was something where Iwas like I would not be okay
without him.
It's like just a reminder.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I'm like I can't even think about it.
It's horrible.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yeah, but in the book .
I remember I was listening tothe book on the plane, going on
a trip with that person that Isaw at the game and I was trying
to make it work and trying tomake it work, and then I just
should have just said we're justnot getting it Right.
I think as women, we're alwaysworried, and girls we've talked
about this before they worryabout being last.
Don't worry about being last inyour 20s or being the last one
(35:20):
to get married.
You better wait for the rightone and don't be.
It's better to be the lastmarried than first divorce I'll
say that over and over again.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
It's better to be.
So.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Many people have gotten divorced that were
married first and when you'reyoung and your friend gets
married, you know when it'sright and you know when it's
wrong oh, the night you gotengaged I called said boyfriend,
the bangs, the latino, yeah,and I was like you better
propose to me or we're done.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
He's like we're broken up.
I'm like, but we're really done.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
You did break up with him right after.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I think I broke up with him right before, but we
were like still trying.
I was still trying to make itwork.
And then, once you got engaged,I knew I couldn't for you.
I just knew if, if he couldn'tbecause he it was two years I
feel like he was making me thinkI was crazy for wanting to get
married after two years.
And I it confirmed when I sawwhat you, because you guys had
(36:04):
only been dating Five months,yeah, a few months.
So when I saw that you gotengaged, it was.
It made me like reflect on myown relationship and my own,
like the things that I want formy life and I was like that's
not a bad thing to want to getmarried after two years.
That's normal, yeah, and theyalways make you feel crazy.
(36:25):
Exactly, he was making me feelcrazy and then, once you got
engaged, I was like I'm notcrazy.
So then I called him.
Didn't work out.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
No, it does.
Though.
When my brother, when mybrother, started dating and and
same thing they got engaged likethis my sister-in-law, allison,
right when I was with the guyfor two and a half years in
college, and when I saw theirrelationship, it was like the
best version of my brotherVersion not version the best
version of my brother.
(36:53):
They were so founded on likeprinciples that mattered.
It was like so clear Godbrought them together that I was
like this, isn't that like youknew, like this, isn't that?
I feel like that happened withall of us totally.
I feel like when I found Kyle,it changed you.
You found Ben, it changed ourother friend, jen Keller.
I feel like she like it.
All you like feel, realizewhat's real and what's not.
Definitely you know.
But so the book again.
(37:15):
This is the longest story aboutthe book.
I was listening to it againtoday because I need to remember
the values and principles in it.
And what's funny is when Ilistened to the book or read the
book on the plane years agowith that boyfriend, it did help
us get along a little.
So it like prolonged theinevitable because I was working
on myself so much.
It was exhausting, right, but Iwas thinking about it today
with Kyle, my husband.
(37:36):
It talked about in our fighttoday too, our discussion.
We don't really like fight,fight, we more discuss.
You just get mad.
Remember on the plane when wewere young and I was all like we
used to fight big In college, Iwas all, you know, forgot about
that, the flip off, and thenone time our friends were all
there and I was all and it waslike bad, I think, because we're
(37:59):
passionate.
But in the book it talked aboutwin-win and it was talking about
how people want to.
We need to strive to understandbefore we're understood.
And he was talking about andthe book was written 30 years
ago he was talking about insociety when we're rushing and
rushing and rushing, we're notlistening to people as much
because our to-do list is so bigand this is me normally my
to-do list is so big, there's somany things I'm trying to get
(38:19):
done and you might do this withyour kids, or anyone might do
this with their kids, like, whatdo you need?
What do you need every day?
Like, and sometimes we're notlistening to understand.
We're listening to get ourthing, okay, cool, you want.
Okay, get in the car, get this.
Like.
And I think sometimes kids andpeople react so poorly or are so
angry because they don't feelheard, they don't feel
(38:40):
understood.
And and I was thinking aboutKyle, my husband and I'm like,
yeah, the Bahamas, like I wantto go to the Bahamas, so bad
that maybe I wasn't hearing,that I haven't been making money
as much, and like I do need tomaybe cut some things if travel
is still going to be a big thingfor me, if I'm not making
enough money, right, and if Iwould have just listened before
(39:00):
I started arguing, like maybe hewould have put his guard down
more, right, but like I was sobig on getting my point across
that sometimes I'm not listening, I'm not like really listening.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I think maybe you weren't feeling heard about this
specific topic.
I don't think he hears you alot in this topic.
How important it is to you, yes, so I think that was like why
you were frustrated.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Totally so.
This weekend, with you gone,tisha was in Bahamas, and we
don't like call each other whenwe're out of town.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
really, no, unless it's really urgent, Like work
for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
I mean we talked Really, that's it really?
No, unless it's really urgent,Like work for five minutes.
I mean we talked really, that'sit, Cause it's like our time
with our families and ourhusbands get annoyed at our
relationship.
It gets weird.
But, um, when you're gone Ihave to tell him everything,
Cause I can't tell you, you know.
So I'm like so today, he's likeI love this.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
He's booking flights for me.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
He loves it Like, and he does get more attention.
And it was a slower paced fourdays because we weren't running
everywhere, so we do get alonggreat when that's happening.
And, um, then I feel like,because he's feeling understood,
his guard is down Right, sosame as my guards not down
because I'm not feelingunderstood about travel.
I feel like there's things thatI'm just like you know, like he
calls me during the day, I'mlike yeah, yeah, yeah, you know
cause.
I'm thinking about all my thingsI want to do, yeah.
So me during the day I'm like,yeah, yeah, yeah, you know,
because I'm thinking about allmy things I want to do, yeah.
(40:23):
So in the book today I wasthinking I need to be better,
because it was talking about ourvalues versus our principles
and like how important thingsare first, not urgent, like
right now my client that'scalling that really wants to
talk about this house.
That's urgent, but what's moreimportant are, like my values of
like being here.
This is something that's to me.
So I need to put like people'surgent things aside versus like
what's important to me that's agood reminder.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
I don't.
I feel like I don't do that.
I feel like I put the urgentthings above and in our job when
things are urgent.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
They're urgent Because our kids and our
husbands matter, so they shouldbe the most important Right.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
So they should feel heard first.
But sometimes when there'ssomething urgent coming up, I
don't.
I like to deal with thingsright away, I don't like to put
things off.
It's very stressful.
Oh, I love that you're likethat too.
I think you're great because Ialways want to just address the
issue and get it solved, becauseI can't stand the feeling of
something hanging over me andthinking about it all day or
some looming.
It's stressful, so I just wantto deal with it right away.
(41:15):
So sometimes I'll put the moreimportant thing on the back
burner because I'm dealing withthe urgent matter.
That doesn't matter, but it wasso good Cause I do it.
Yes, it's horrible.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, that's a good point.
It was so good and it was likesometimes you need to win.
Win and it was talking aboutlike synergy, and I do think
that's our strength, is our workteam, and I do think it's our
strength with Tyler as much asTyler.
Sometimes we're sassy, but thefact that we can say the truth
to Tyler or to each other aboutwhat we really like, our vision,
you get farther when we alllisten to each other than just
(41:45):
like my way.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Right.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
You know, and I do think at work we do listen to
each other's point of view, eventhough it gets kind of like
sassy sometimes more me but Ithink that's what makes us so
successful in business isbecause we do really listen to
each other.
Like what do we think we shoulddo and we really talk about it
and we really like and and andwhen.
When is taking a little of whatyou say and a little of what I
say, and I think you and I eventhough we had the fight, we
(42:09):
really are good at that Like wedo take a little of what you
want to do and a little of whatI want to do and we do it that
way instead of like one of usnot feeling heard.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Yeah, I feel well.
Ben and I had like a reallyweird moment and then we like
worked through it because Iexplained how and I'm not a big
explainer, I'm feeling you arewith Ben well, because otherwise
he's so yeah, so I have toexplain why I'm doing this.
But CJ the listeners don't knowmy oldest got in a car accident
(42:40):
on, but just himself, no oneelse was involved, and so he was
driving by himself and then hecalled and he was crying and he
said, oh my God, I'm so sorry,I'm so sorry.
And I was like okay, where areyou, are you hurt?
Like is anyone else involved?
And obviously once we found out, no, but he was getting off the
freeway when he got in theaccident.
(43:01):
So I'm still scared he's on theside of the freeway going to
get hit by a car.
I.
It was just very stressful.
So I run in the room and I'mlike Ben, we got to go get him.
This happened and I have neverseen Ben as mad in our whole
marriage as he was mad, rightaway, right away, before you got
to CJ before and that isinteresting, and I was annoyed
(43:22):
because I was so like I couldtear up thinking about it.
I was so worried and I I stillam so shaken up about it because
it was so scary and and Ididn't.
He said he was okay on thephone but I'm like, is he okay,
yeah, and is he going to get hiton the side of the freeway?
I just wanted to get there sobad.
So I go, ben, let's go, we gotto go.
So he gets in the car and andhe's not fast, he's so slow.
(43:45):
I'm like, oh my God, let's go.
You know, I know too, yeahabout it.
And he was like I've never seenhim so mad and he said the
f-word and he does not lose hiscool and he like punched the
steering wheel.
I have never seen him act likethis.
It was like shocking, yeah, Icouldn't believe it.
(44:07):
I was so taken I couldn't evenbelieve it, because he does not
like I'm always coming unglued,yelling and cussing and doing
all these weird things.
He's very composed and he wasjust like mad about the money.
He's like this is going to be afortune and I was so worked up
Still we're not there to him.
Now I'm mad that I know he'ssafe, yeah, but then I wasn't.
(44:29):
So we are driving to go get himand he's going on and on about
how expensive and the money andand I was like let me out of the
car.
I'm going by myself, Like, andso I'm trying to get out of the
car.
He's like you're crazy.
We're like on the road, on themain road.
I'm trying to jump off the car.
It was like a crazy like we.
We looked like crazy people.
So emotions are high.
(44:50):
I think that's kind of normal.
So we got there, we got him.
Okay, we had to tow the car.
But then later that night wewere talking and because I told
him, I said I hate parentingwith you.
It, you're the worst.
I love that you're being honest.
I know I feel bad no, but it'snot.
There's those moments he's thebest dad, like he literally
(45:10):
gives everything to his family,but he is so worried about not
the things I'm worried aboutsometimes and it's frustrating,
yeah, and in that moment I wasjust so scared our son wasn't
okay or was not going to be okayand well, and that kind of
grosses you out sometimes.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
I was so grossed out I'm like what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (45:28):
and then I just was like I hate parenting with you.
It's awful.
Yeah, it gives you that weirdfeeling.
I go it's the worst part aboutbeing married to you and so that
was hurtful.
And so he does this thing wherehe like reflects and doesn't
get over anything.
So I'm already over it.
Once everything was safe andeveryone's fine, you know.
And later that night I'm likeokay, what are we having for
dinner?
And he's like you know, whenyou told me that you hate
(45:51):
parenting with me, that wasreally.
I'm so I'm trying to be niceCause I don't want to get bigger
.
So I try to explain, like, okay, I just was frustrated in that
moment about the safety of ourchild and that was the only
thing I cared about, and youcaring about the other stuff.
I was just so in my emotionsand you don't act right when
(46:13):
you're in emotion, so I said ahurtful thing.
I don't mean that, yeah, butcause he's a great dad, but yeah
, so, but you're both notfeeling heard.
No, I was thinking that.
So we had to talk it through.
We don't always do that and wehad to have a whole talk and he
had to say that that wasn't niceand I had to apologize and tell
him I didn't mean it and blahblah, but it was just.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
But then you guys, that's good that you can talk
through it, though, Right.
Well, I think we're again.
We're wired different, but it'sso frustrating when they are so
one way Parenting is thehardest thing.
I was talking to newlywed and Iwas like she's, it's getting
harder with the families andthis and that, and I'm like, oh,
it gets so much harder.
Kyle and I go on a trip.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
We're like 10 years old best friends in the Bahamas.
Yeah, it's different andparenting is so hard, but I
think when we try to listen,well and nobody reacts the same
to everything.
So, like you said, I wantpeople who are just like me.
Ben reacts opposite of me inevery way and it's great because
I think we get both, but it'sso hard to like collaborate with
.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Yeah, but I think, like we just talked about a lot,
it's good to be heard andappreciate each other's
differences and in the same time, it's all gonna work out like I
had that moment too, where Iwas like so thankful for Kyle
this weekend and I was like Godtotally picked him for me oh,
totally and if I just stoppedlike getting annoyed by certain
things and leaning into the factthat it wasn't my picker, it
(47:33):
was God's picker.
So, like everything he is, itwas designed to compliment me
and everything I am is designedto compliment him, and leaning
into letting it work out RightRather than trying to control
each other or change him.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Yeah, like he is supposed to yell about
everything, exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
Otherwise we would be broke on the side of the road.
Totally A hundred percent.
And with parenting Kyle's sobetter than me A lot.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Like Ben makes our kids make the bed.
I don't care if they make thebed, I don't make the bed, but
it's so good that our kids aregetting someone to tell them to
make the bed Well, and it'sstructured Totally and you're
not like as structured, I'm notas structured.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Yeah, Well, I saw these that we took my mom to
lunch and these kids were goingcrazy and the mom and dad were
there and I was like, oh, ifkyle was here, like this
wouldn't go on right, he wouldhave killed him already by now.
Right, it made me appreciatehim, even though I'm like, when
I don't have him, I'm like, ohmy gosh, they're abusing me, but
anyways, so that's it jerkingaround oh, that's it.
(48:29):
Let it all work out, it'll allwork out.
Yeah, god has a plan, totally,and tisha's getting her surgery
next week on the hemorrhoids.
Hopefully it comes out okay andthe piercing is going to be
gone too no anyways, thanks forlistening.
Welcome to jerking around apodcast that makes you feel
better about yourself, becausewe're a mess just like you, and
crystal makes fun of me thewhole time and it's great and
(48:51):
it's real.
Take care.
Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you
feel better about yourself,because we're a mess just like
you, and Crystal makes fun of methe whole time and it's great
and it's real.
Today we talk about Tisha beingmean to me.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
We talk about the fight we had a minor.
I wouldn't say it's a fight.
I'd say you're more mad at me,but we had an issue, we resolved
it.
She hurt my feelings, yeah,anyways.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And I didn't mean to, but we resolved it.
We talk about intention.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Talk about parenting?
Yes, Husbands?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yes, my dad, we talk a little bit about grief and
then we also talk about Tisha'ssurgery she has on her
hemorrhoids.
No, today we are talking abouta lot of interesting things.
Yeah, thanksgiving, how?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
was your Thanksgiving , Tisha?
Mine was good you were gone.
Yeah, mine.
We went to the Bahamas.
It was really fun.
How was yours?
It was the first one withoutyour dad, oh, thanks.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Um, it was actually really good.
Yeah, Um, my lot.
Well, I guess we'll get serious.
We don't do that a lot, but myanniversary of my dad passing
was yesterday, so, um, so that'sa little emotional and fresh,
and Tisha really pissed me offyesterday.
We'll talk about that later,but um so, anyways, I was
obviously more emotional, sotoday might be a little bit more
(01:24):
somber, but this was my firstholiday without my dad and I was
really nervous about it, but itwent really well.
Last year my dad was very likethings were changing, so that
year was harder for me.
It was like you know how peoplesay.
There's that like impeding doomfeeling.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, it was right before, yeah, and I really right
before yeah, and I really hadthat.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah, I was so sick.
If you remember and if you havebeen listening to us for a
while, I think I talked aboutthat last year.
I was getting headaches, I wasgetting probably panic attacks
because I was getting reallydizzy out of nowhere.
I would have thought textbook.
I was fully sick, like I wentto the hospital for headaches, I
like it was bad and, um, Itotally knew what it was.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
By the way, thank you , I'm not a doctor, but I should
be.
No, yeah, it's hard.
Yeah Well, I just knew you andI knew like how he was and like
I could tell that like you werestruggling, but you weren't like
admitting it to yourself alittle bit, you know, which is
normal to be kind of in denialthat something could happen
anytime.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
You know well, I wasn't in denial.
I was very alert of what washappening.
Yeah, that's why I was so upsetso upset yeah like watching um,
someone like your dad, who'sbeen the strongest man on the
planet, struggle like that wasawful, but we're blessed that he
wasn't like in a hospital bedand like taking his last breath.
We didn't have to do hospice oranything like that, but his
(02:49):
body was literally failing himand he was mentally pretty all
there.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
So that was like so hard and so tough to have your
body be failing and you'regambling and like running all
over like he's just in thescooter, but like traveling,
yeah, like that's a lot yes, thelast, yeah, so my, my dad
passed away in vegas.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
We went for a family trip, which we don't do a lot,
and it's crazy.
Even like that, I miss thestate game to go to vegas.
Like I coach a team and ourfootball team went to state and
the fact that I wasn't there isjust so, not like me, but I went
.
We all went to vegas andeverybody told us you know, your
dad shouldn't go to Vegas.
He's not doing well, he's gonnadie.
But we all knew, and we talkedto him about that, that this
(03:29):
would be a big trip for him, arewe sure it's a good idea?
And we all decided to to stillgo.
And we got there and we had agreat time and I, some of you
have heard the story and we allwent.
He gambled, which is hisfavorite thing.
That's where I've gotten itfrom.
My parents are big gamblers.
And then we all went to dinner,had italian dinner.
My aunt and uncle, his sisterwas there, my cousin was there.
(03:50):
We had this great thing.
I even yelled to him in ourlast picture, as a family told
him to look alive because hewasn't looking good and our
family jokes that's what we do,so I knew he wasn't looking good
like he thought it was funny.
He probably laughed, he laughedand smiled and and then, um,
they gambled and they went tobed and we he woke up in like
three in the morning to go tothe bathroom.
(04:10):
My mom helped him, he told herhappy birthday and then at five
he didn't wake up.
So we all went in there, wewere with him for hours, hugged
him.
Um, it got weird when the thepolice had to tell me to get off
of it, like Like this is acrime scene and you're now like
fully, like I think I had my legover him.
I mean, I was fully on him.
But so all that like replayingall that has been not my
(04:32):
favorite this week and likewhere we were, what was going on
, how it happened and thereality that he's like still
gone.
Yeah, it's hard but we're doinggood.
It's hard but we're doing good.
The holiday was great.
My mom got drunk, so that wasfun, um, and she's a real fun
(04:54):
drunk.
She handles hard things reallywell.
My family, we joke, so we madejokes about it all day.
That you know dad's sleepingCause that's what my mom tells
people.
She's.
You know, she's funny.
So she tells everyone that, um,people were calling her phone.
That you know thosetelemarketers yeah, and she
tells me them her husband died,like they don't want to know.
So I'm calling me my husbanddied and I'm like they don't
(05:16):
care.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
But like she tells people he's sleeping At the
casino.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
They always ask her where he is.
She says sleeping.
That's sad.
My brother and I are are likewe don't know if we should
intervene.
He's not sleeping, he's inheaven.
So we kept telling everyone hewas sleeping.
Um, but it was good.
It was hard, but it was reallygood.
I think after, like I guess wecould call this the year after
reflection.
You, I'm just not the sameperson I was a year ago.
(05:41):
Yeah, like that's so clear tome.
The last like two weeks,especially looking back on who I
was last year, what washappening last year, how
invested I was in work.
I, I am not that investedanymore.
I don't care about things likethat as much.
I am very more attentive towhat's here now, which was
something for years I couldn'tgrasp like being present.
Yeah, I feel like I'm sopresent now that it's almost was
(06:02):
something for years I couldn'tgrasp like being present.
Yeah, I feel like I'm sopresent now that it's almost
like bad, like I don't carewhat's happening other places,
right, I don't know.
It's weird how like lifehumbles the crap out of you.
Money doesn't matter to a pointthat it's getting weird, like it
needs to matter a little bit, Idon't know.
Just being with my kids, beingwith my husband this week, was
(06:23):
very family and I loved it,whereas that stuff maybe didn't
fulfill me as much before, to behonest, really, yeah, totally
Not at all.
Yeah, like I was listening toour podcast.
You talk about how much youwanted to be a stay home mom and
how bad I didn't, and that waseven like recent, and I still am
.
Like I, I never wanted it andnow I never wanted it and now
(06:46):
it's all I want.
Yeah, just to be like home andnot have all the stress on my
plate.
I just want to be in the hereand now.
But my aunt's very sick too, youknow.
She has a type of melanomathat's very dangerous and
terminal, so I think it's justall around me.
Yeah, like it's like a constantreminder all the time that,
like today is not today is it?
Tomorrow is not promised.
So I think death can be like ablessing.
I feel like I've been on pauseat work and I'm like as soon as
(07:09):
I get over my dad, we'll getback.
And then I had this epiphanythat it's been a year, like you
got to get back, but I justcan't get there.
I really enjoy the podcast, solet's get famous.
Yeah, because I love that LikeI used to it just changed, you
just change.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, I think things just happen and you just change,
and maybe that's just not yourpath anymore.
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Tisha's still selling houses.
So if you're still interested,we still stage, we still sell
houses faster than anyone and westill have a team.
I just honestly am more um likekind of look from the outside,
more like managing everythingfrom above.
I haven't been taking as manyclients myself, but we're still
doing a great job.
We're still.
(07:48):
I just was mad the other daybecause I like to be really good
at things and I was like thisis stupid, we suck at work.
And then we made like everylist and I showed me too, as a
leader, how proud you are whenyour team can go on without you.
Like, usually I'm carrying alot of sales and it's we've been
on the list without my sales,so that makes me super proud.
Like, we built something reallycool and that everybody can go
(08:10):
on without me.
I actually was thinking today Ithink everybody's better now
without me, Like you.
Just, you know, it's like aparent with their kids, Like
sometimes my daughter has betteradvice than I do, Cause she's
taken a little from me and thentaken a little from her, and it
makes her like a better versionLike you.
I think you're like better thanme now, which is like you're
like my prodigy in a way and I'mlike no, I feel like you took a
(08:31):
little of me and then you takea little of you and it makes it
good.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Well, I feel like a good leader like has people like
.
You're not a good leader ifeveryone's always under you or
needing you, yeah, or like not.
You should have them be to likeyou.
That's how, like.
That's the goal of leadershiplike.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Walt should be died before I think right, was it
California?
One or one of them opened andit's gone on right like Steve
Jobs.
It's gone on bigger without him.
Ccv, ccv.
Even so, it is a definition ofa good leader and I, I think
I've learned that I can likestep back and we've done things
a lot different too this lastyear in business.
I mean, we used to do so muchand I think I've just learned
(09:12):
that all those things just don'tmatter as much.
Yeah, we're talking about thaton the way here, besides talking
about our fight, but we we'renot talking about the fight on
here.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
We're not talking about the fight.
We can't say what the fight onhere.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
We're not talking about the fight.
We can't say what the fight wasabout.
It was about someone wants apiercing and someone doesn't
think it's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
It's about no, it's about friendships.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
We're going to talk about it Somebody has
hemorrhoids and needs surgeryand somebody doesn't, yeah, and
I told her the surgery isn'tthat bad.
I've heard it's not bad.
No, but um, what were wetalking about?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Oh, on the way here.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Reflection Like even so, I have a Christmas party
every year, but I didn't have itlast.
Well, we've like Last year wedidn't, we didn't.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
We didn't have it last year Because your dad had
just died.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Because it was supposed to be the weekend my
dad passed and it was weirdbecause we did an Ev.
My friends messaged out on theEvite that the party was
canceled without even talking tome, which was great, because
it's something you don't reallywant to say, right, like it's
not the easiest thing to say it.
So, like some of my friendsmaybe, were frustrated Like you
didn't tell me right away.
(10:20):
I was like it's still not aneasy thing.
That's why my mom tells peoplehe's sleeping.
Yeah, it's like not the easiestthing to say yeah.
So it was nice that everybodyfound out all at once, without
like a social media post or youhaving to call everyone.
Yeah, that was all really hardfor me.
Even yesterday I wanted to postfor my mom's birthday because
then more people will tell herhappy birthday and she loves
that stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So I wanted to post because that'll help her get
more.
Everybody that texts her, shemom guess who texts me?
Oh, blah, blah, blah.
She gets so excited.
So I wanted to do that, but Ialso couldn't deny that my dad.
But it's not easy for me toshare.
I don't like talking aboutthings that really hurt, Like I
like talking about dumb things,but the real things I don't like
talking about.
That's why I'm closing my eyeslike an idiot.
But it's fine.
(11:00):
It's not easy, but anyways, Ithink, like even my Christmas
party, I'm like I just want itsuper casual and kids never come
because everyone thinks it'scollege and they're on the
counter and it gets weird.
But I'm like I just don't careanymore about all the things.
Yeah, the Pinterest life ofhaving things so cute, I don't
know, it's just stupid.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah Well, I think like I don't care about that
stuff either.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I think when your kids get older too, you're just
like that stuff is dumb yeah,I'm like now that I'm on a
budget because I'm not making asmuch money on my own and I have
to like think about thingsdifferently.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I'm just like from Kyle, yes, and myself like I'm
not bringing in.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, I used to make pretty good money and so, but
but whole tour forms is stillgoing.
You know if you still want usto sell your own weekend, but um
, I just, you know you have tohustle it.
When you're in your ownbusiness you have to hustle to
make money.
So we, I'm not hustling, so I'mnot making what I usually make.
So now I can't spend what Iusually spend on all these
things.
(11:54):
So I'm like, do I really want?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
but I do really want a bartender, yeah so I still
have a bartender coming no, andI feel like Kyle's pretty good
about parties.
He's like he's in support of,like a good party.
He likes a good time yeah, hedoes.
He's not like wound tight, butlikes a good, like a vacation.
No, you're not getting far withhim on that.
A good party he's down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
So, yeah, again, not as funny today, but I was
listening to this book today.
Um, if you've never listened,tisha won't listen to anything
self I have created a habitwhere I walk, usually every day,
and then I listen to somethingto fuel my mind, which sounds
really dorky, but I really liketo learn, right, so I listen In
(12:38):
75 Hard.
You have to read 10 pages of anonfiction book every day and I
can't read.
If you've seen me spell oryou've heard me read out loud,
it's special.
So I listen out loud while Iwalk and I've read so many good
books.
I really highly recommend itand it starts your day off with
fuel instead of like problemsyeah, I think garbage like yes,
(13:00):
like Instagram or even reality,I don't mind like so.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I don't mind like an educational book on, like you
said, like the podcast book youread or something I would read,
something like that.
That, like gave givesinformation.
I just don't like themotivational self-help like I
don't.
I don't know why I don't, Ican't read those, it's just like
yeah, I can't physically readthem.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, I can listen to them, but I don't know if you
can listen.
I don't like listening.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I don't even like when the podcast and I don't
even like when the churchservice is more motivational and
less biblical.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
You like facts.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I'm like I want some facts.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I want some biblical, some not.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I don't need a motivational speech, I'm
motivated, so it's weird.
But I do like reading the Bible.
It's weird, but it not weird.
It's not weird, but sometimesI'll wake up and read it with my
coffee and I'm in a way bettermood and I do feel like it gives
me so much like clarity aboutand the Bible is like really
(13:59):
helpful too about things.
It just like realigns me so Ican read that.
I can read it and I cannotReally, I've tried so many times
.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I'm like what are they talking about?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Oh, I've read Revelations like five times.
Oh, I cannot read the.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Bible whatsoever.
I need the Bible.
I can read the story Really asthe Bible in story form.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I can't read all of the Bible, but I can read
certain parts.
Oh, I get lost.
Oh, and it's so good.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I'm like this is so the Bible is good on like.
I listen on audio, yeah, but Ican't like just read a small
portion and take anything fromit.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh, I read and then I feel like it gives me like
clarity and I'm like, oh my gosh, or like I like reading of,
like revelations, like things tocome.
I'm like it's just really likeinteresting.
So maybe I need to find likebooks that are like factual yeah
, and I could read those butlike self-helpy, but more
factual, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yeah, more like proven.
Yes, you just don't believepeople.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
No, I don't believe anybody.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
So you don't think anybody knows anything.
They don't you.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I know more than all of them.
So it's like when they'retalking, I'm like ah.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Totally but this you would like Stephen Covey's
habits of highly effectivepeople Right Cause that's more
factual.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
It's more like.
These are things that areproven to work Right, based on
like research.
I'm into that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
It's and he's very like not self-helpy, it's very
like these are tools.
Why are you doing this?
And I've read it a bunch oftimes.
When you were telling me aboutit, it sounded so good.
So today I was listening and,um, I was trying to go to the
Bahamas with Tisha, anytime tothe Bahamas with Tisha.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Anytime Tisha goes on a trip, I want to go because
she plans a really good trip,yeah, and I want to go planned.
And then she teases me, shedoes this thing where she's like
maybe I'll go Cause, I was likeshe's definitely not going,
kyle's not going to go for it.
So always in my mind youweren't going to go Cause.
I'd asked you back when we wereplanning I know, but my aunt,
I'm regretting that.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
So bad, next time I'm scheduling it from the
beginning.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Okay, and then I can cancel it Because at the
beginning I was like come.
She was like no, Kyle won't gofor it.
So then I gave up and then,right before you were like, oh,
I wanted to go.
So bad, I want to go.
And she's looking flights, I'mlooking flights.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I'm going to give her 60,000 points and Ben's like
what's going on like I was justoh, I wanted to go, so bad it
was such a tease.
I was like fighting with Kyleabout it.
That's typically how we get togo on a trip.
Kyle's my husband.
He's very type a.
He's my opposite.
He's very smart with money hedoesn't.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, he doesn't do good with the last minute either
.
You have to have a plan withhim.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
He's very logical he likes buying toys and things, I
like memories.
So it's like your opposite andI do think that's natural and
healthy to have your opposite.
But I do think in marriagesometimes it's really
frustrating to always have youropposite Like right.
We just see things sodifferently and it's weird with
you.
You're a lot like him and I.
I think sometimes we forget tolike, oh like good marriage
(16:49):
advice years ago I heard, but Idon't follow, but I'm going to
start following is you alwayswant to assume the best in the
other person, Like you alwayswant to know their intentions
are pure Right, which is so truewhen you think about it
logically, but sometimes whenyou get like I'm also our fight.
Hmm, remember, no I normallythink that until you said that
nasty thing about me.
No, I do.
(17:11):
That's why I always get alongwith you.
Yeah, I always know yourintentions are pure Right, like
I never think you're out to getme, I know and.
I'm not doing anything weird.
Jury's out, but no, the jury'snot out.
It's going to be fine, but somedays I get sensitive, and
that's what happened yesterday.
It was an off day.
Yes For an off comment.
That would have probably neverbothered me.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Sometimes I'm more I think about things before I say
them yes, and I didn't think,and I didn't say the nicest, we
can't.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
We'll have to discuss it.
Let's quit talking about it.
No, we have to discuss it now.
No, just quit talking about it.
It's true, to our listenersthey don't care.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
We're being honest podcast.
Have you listened?
No, but I listen.
I watch it on Instagram.
I know I hate when people saythat.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Like people are like I watch your podcast.
I'm like a 30 second clip isnot my podcast and you're doing
that with hers.
I do it with hers.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, like you're not watching your podcast, I listen
to it.
It's not, I won't listen to it,but I'll watch the clips Little
30 second clips are great.
Oh, I love the 30 second clips.
They make me want to listen,but you haven't even listened.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, people always like I watched your podcast, I'm
like you did so, did you hear?
They're like no, I'm all.
You watched a clip, getwatching it, hear the whole
thing.
But your clips are very good,tyler, right, so I think that's
where, like, I sometimes letpeople too close, where I see
some things in them that I'mlike, but I'm like I love them
(18:29):
anyways.
Right, you know, because peoplehave loved me anyways, because
I am a jerk, right, like, if youlisten to the podcast when you
meet me in public, you think I'mso nice.
I would say I seem very nice tonormal people, oh totally.
Which this is like.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Tyler probably thinks you're way nicer than me.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
No no, tyler and I have had talks.
Tyler look, yeah, see, he'sseeing the other side now, right
, tyler?
No, we've had like, but thatmeans you're in my inner circle.
When you see the real, thatmeans like we're bonding.
Yes, that sounds bad, but onlya few people see the not-so-nice
side of me, right, honestly,yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Like my whole team has.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Like I see it all the time, yeah, but not all.
See, Tyler, You're in the innercircle now.
I'm not every day he wouldn'tsay I'm so nice, yeah, he would
say you're nicer now, really,yes, I don't know.
So when people get to know memore, tisha's actually nicer
than me Sometimes I would saythat Once you're in with Tisha,
it's nice all the time, right,she'siders get jerked by me.
(19:31):
Yes, yes, it's so weird.
Yeah, you're right.
All my best friends will agreewith this.
I give time to all the outsiders, right, I don't give time to
the insiders.
I am like nicer.
I'm more forgiving to theoutsiders, way more.
Yes, I know this, know why it'sa thing.
(19:52):
So I feel like our the jerkies.
Yeah, no, I'm not that nice,because now they've heard me say
more things than like theaverage person.
Totally.
So I do feel like the everybodyknows now that I'm very like,
believe in everybody.
But once you're like close tome, you can hurt me.
And then I'm very sensitive,like what happened yesterday,
right?
So if that was a random wherethey said this one thing that
offended me, right, it would.
It would have been no big deal.
I would have loved them.
I would have been like they'rehaving a bad day.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yes, but because it was you it was like no, it was
like I killed somebody and Ijust didn't.
I didn't say the right thing itwas.
I'm not discounting what I said, because I didn't realize it
was offensive.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yes, Because I wasn't meaning it to be offensive.
So when I like people, I dowant Tisha to always um tell me
if I'm liking the wrong person,because we've had well, because
a few times now I didn't likethe people she's bringing around
into our inner circle again.
I don't care if they're justyour Joe Schmo acquaintance, but
when they're coming around ourinner circle I am a little more
(20:49):
protective so when I likesomeone like, it doesn't happen
that often, but when I likesomeone like a lot in a new meet
, I get like excited veryexcited.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Then I started bringing them in in everything,
in all the things.
It's like it's zero to ahundred.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yes, so, and then what she meant was something
else, Right?
So we were still talking aboutit again today.
How it hurt my feelings and howblah, blah, blah.
And I didn't mean for it tohurt her feelings and she just
knows that what she's saying is,when I'm intrigued by somebody,
that's her word is intrigued.
Yes, we'll say.
She used a different wordyesterday that I didn't love, I
did and I was like you think Ijust like people for like
(21:26):
different reasons, right?
That isn't why I like people.
Maybe money, sex and power.
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It's ditty, but kind of, but I don't want to say too
much about the details no, and Ithink it's great that you
believe in everybody I do.
I think it's such a greatquality.
I think it's great that youwant to see the best in people
and love them if you see a need.
I think that is like how Godcreated you and you're that way
for a reason.
So I think that's amazing.
I just don't always love when Ifeel like maybe they're kind of
(21:59):
weird and then they're around.
I'm like but so that's it.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So I was.
We're still talking about today.
That was a fight, but it wasthe anniversary of my dad.
So I was super sensitive aboutlike a lot right and she got
like a lot right.
And she got like a little sassyand she doesn't always do that
or she can read the days to dothat, yes.
So she got sassy and it waslike we were working and I was
just like wasn't a good I getvery embarrassed in front of
other people too about likeprivate things, right, like I
seem like I'm really out there.
(22:26):
Like my mother-in-law the otherday was like crystal.
You totally fart in front ofkyle and I was like I do not
yeah I'm like very private, likeit's weird.
I'm more out, yes, but youwould seem more private on the
outside.
But you're actually totallyfart in front of ben and poop
with the door open.
It's so like no way.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I don't know why I would shut the door in my own
house.
It's like it's.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
I live here I want to know it's open.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I want to know sometimes be like gosh, can you
turn the fan on?
It smells.
I'm like no, go in the otherroom, like I don't want the fan
on.
It's too loud and I like to sitand and it's weird, you let him
help you wipe.
No, I don't.
That's so dumb.
He's all finally clean.
Yeah, gross.
No, I don't do that, but I dopoop with the door open and I
think it's weird if you don't.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
And do you fart Like like I don't fart a lot, but
when I do, they're silent butdeadly, and I totally do it.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I'm like, oh, watch out.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, isn't that funny.
And I'm like, so, not like that, I'm like way more private with
private things.
But like, but I give theillusion, I'm like like Bonnie's
like you, I would think youlike run around naked.
I was like, yeah, that's fine,Right, but I don't fart.
I don't fart in front of myfriends, Like if I do, it's like
really embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, Remember when one came out that one time at
the cabin and I was like what isgoing quarter?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, because that story is reminding me of some
things.
But as a teacher and coach Ihave seen kids more as a teacher
, that people have wrote off.
Written off, how do you say it?
Written off?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Written off.
I feel like written off.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Written off as like a bad kid or like they don't
listen or they're not trying.
That's like one of my biggestpet peeves.
Hardly listen or they're nottrying that's like one of my
biggest pet peeves.
Hardly ever is someone nottrying more often.
When people aren't trying atsomething, it's because there's
a lack of confidence there,right?
But I've always been the kidthat people said were bad or
weren't trying, or like myfriends misunderstood me and
(24:24):
thought I was a jerk because Iwas like a bullyish well, I
think that's where you thinkthat the people are just needing
someone to believe in them andthen they won't have these
things anymore that you'retrying to help with.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yes, so, which is good, and I do think you can be
right.
I just think in some cases, youcan be wrong too, especially as
adults.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah, I think I get it wrong more than I get it
right, but the ones I get rightthey're like really exciting,
great, yeah, yeah and like getit right, but the ones I get
right.
They're like really great, yeah,yeah, and like a lot of people
closest to me.
I think this is what you weretrying to say with the other
person you use, which you wordedthat wrong too?
Was that like, sometimes,people that other people don't
(25:05):
like or get annoyed by, or like?
I like really strongpersonalities, whether it be
clearly, whether it be likeeverything I believe in, nothing
I believe in.
Like Jamie, one of our bestfriends we probably have
different views on a lot, right,she's one of my best best
friends, so I like a lot of likediverse people and I feel like
you're more like you, like yourpeople that are like more like
(25:27):
you, yes, and I like you knowwhat I'm saying.
Yes, if you look at my bestbest friends, they're so
different.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Mm, hmm, I think you like, I think that is you like a
strong personality.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, I love a strong personality.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
And I don't love a strong personality.
I'm like Shut up.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
But that's probably where things get hard, right?
Because when I bring anotherstrong personality in with you,
it's like annoying.
I'm like who's this bitch?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
no, I'm just kidding yeah, it's funny we're getting
really deep it's like acounseling session that is
really funny, though, because Ido think that's where I don't
love the strong personalities asmuch.
Personalities, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
I feel like a lot interesting.
That's maybe what you meantwith your bad wording.
Is like strong people.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Strong people are intriguing to me, yes, no matter
what.
Yes, like Tyler's.
Intriguing to me, mm-hmm,because he's very like strong,
very smart in his craft.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Take your shirt off, Tyler.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, speaking of, we're going to Anyways, okay, so
the book I was reading Kyle'svery strong too, which is funny.
Um, the book I was readingseven habits of highly effective
people is so good.
I read it.
In college I had a really likeboyfriend.
I didn't understand.
(26:40):
Well, we were just weren'tmeant to be together, which you
guys?
I saw my ex-boyfriend at the Iif you listen, you know who you
are, because you're going toknow when I say it, and I talked
about you on a podcast and Ihave utmost respect for you.
We just weren't meant to be.
I saw him at the game game, atthe Liberty game, the high
school I coach at.
He was there with his kids andI was driving home because I
don't like to take the bus withthe cheerleaders.
It's just like I don't lovebeing on a bus.
I feel like confined, you know,like I'm stuck with them.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I feel like it's crashing.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yes, all of it, but my daughter's.
I just don't like it, so Idrive separate.
So I was driving home and itwas totally that Garth Brooks
song.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I just thought when you were saying that.
I just thought of that song andit was out of game Like Friday
night.
I think of that song all thetime.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yes, and it was like sometimes I thank God for
unanswered prayers.
It's so good.
Yes, and I was talking to oneof my cheerleaders I know
they're not innocent, but I'mlike you're not and we had a
great talk about like all thethings sex dating, all the
things and I was talking aboutmy ex-boyfriend and I saw him
(27:38):
and I was like, oh my gosh, andI was telling her we just
weren't right and I was tryingto make it right and it just
wasn't right.
And sometimes, when you'retrying to work at something so
much, like my worst day withKyle is my best day with any
other guy, right, like he nevermakes me feel sick to my stomach
.
I never don't feel like heloves me.
I never like he drives me nutsbecause we're different, but
(27:58):
like I never feel it's not likethe relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
No is an issue feelings.
Oh my gosh, all the people areno, I, I literally thought of
that song when you were, I andit.
We were talking about this lastweek.
I think it was like howsometimes we're so song when you
were, we were talking aboutthis last week.
I think it was like howsometimes we're so busy when
you're like a maker, thingshappen.
You are so used to makingthings go your way.
I'm very like that.
You're like that too andsometimes you miss like, was it
(28:25):
you?
I was talking about this withyeah, we talked about it a lot
lately and like sometimes youmiss why God is doing things,
but it was like so good, like,even if you miss like a flight,
maybe it's because of and if youjust look at everything through
that lens of, why is thishappening?
Oh, it must be because it'slike what God wants.
You're less stressed out aboutit, about the things not going
(28:47):
your way If it's not working out.
I wish I could like tell thatto my kids.
I can.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Yes.
So Natalie Natalie, my bestfriend growing up and she's
still one of my best friends she, um, we went on this thing.
Her dad is Tom, he's a pastor,you're squeaking um and we were
very involved in youth group andwe, like you and I, went on our
love everyone thing.
We went on it's all gonna workout.
So every day, no matter whathappened, we'd go on it's all
gonna work out.
So every day, no matter whathappened, we'd go great, it's
all gonna work out andeverything worked out.
It does.
Like we didn't have money to goto JB's.
You'd get like free ice cream.
(29:19):
We'd be like it's all gonnawork out.
And then, all of a sudden, we'drun into someone and they'd be
like, hey, you want to go toJB's.
Like we don't have any money.
They're like I do.
We'd be like it's all going towork out.
Right, guess, we're not goingto the movies tonight.
And then we ended up having thebest night ever Met up with
some randoms Not like randompeople on the street, like
random friends, like we weren'tplanning to hang out and then
(29:39):
plans unfolded into the bestplan ever, yes.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
So we always sat back and we're like it's all going
to work upset or wondering whythis is happening, and knowing,
oh, this is meant to be.
This way You'd have such abetter peace about everything.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, I think that's something I've actually leaned
into the last year is I've beenlike less control.
I don't want control ofeverything because I think
seeing my dad pass in the way hepassed, if I were to pick the
most perfect day ever, the waymy dad would want to die, that
would have been it.
It was crazy, it was so like itwas even my niece Lincoln and
(30:22):
I've talked about that a littleon old podcasts.
But my niece Lincoln was bornwith a congenital heart defect
and a bunch of other medicalissues.
She lived.
They wanted my sister-in-law toterminate the pregnancy and my
sister-in-law's a person offaith, and decided if God wants
this baby to be born, she'll beborn and it's in God's hands.
And they totally let go ofcontrol, which has to be so hard
(30:44):
.
And Lincoln lived 13 months andit was the biggest blessing in
all of our lives.
My life is forever changedbecause of Lincoln.
We, kyle and I, made so many bigdecisions during that time that
changed the trajectory of ourwhole life and we saw like life
in front of our hands.
That was so precious.
But I think sometimes the wayLincoln passed was the most
beautiful thing, as much as itwas so hard.
(31:04):
It was like so God and samewith my dad.
I always worried.
I always knew my dad wasn'tgoing to be in a hospice or in a
nursing home or have full-timecare, and I think why I made
myself so sick during those twoweeks before he passed is I saw
where it was time to make adecision.
He couldn't live just with mymom anymore.
We were having to go check onhim all day.
(31:26):
This is intimate, but my dadlives with my brother and one
day I went to go surprise themand bring them dinner and I saw
my dad had like had an accidentand that was like.
Saw my dad had like had anaccident and that was like my
dad would never have my mom helpwith something like that.
Right, he's such a man man.
Right, and like.
(31:46):
Seeing that, I was like hewon't want to live like this
much longer.
Right, like he's just aprideful man.
No, he would never want to live.
And that was such a pivotalmoment.
I'll never forget it.
And I was like, oh, it'sgetting time, but I worried we
were going to have to get anurse or we were going to have
to do something.
So I was making myself sick andmy dad got to go out.
My mom and I talked aboutyesterday we almost thought he
was turning a corner because mydad almost died like 10, 12, 15
(32:07):
times so many times we all werelike.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Every December he was in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Yeah, Every December.
We almost lost him, that's why,it's so beautiful still that he
died in December, like it's histime.
December was always hospitaltime.
I always missed everything inDecember.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
His lungs are filling .
He's sick.
It happened every year, so itwas in.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
December.
We and we thought he wasturning a corner because,
weirdly, he was starting to do alittle better while we were in
Vegas.
So I didn't go help him to theroom that night, cause he was,
like, had some pep in his step,right, he gambled, he I think he
even had a drink and it wasliterally like an Italian meal
with his favorite people.
If I were to write how he wouldhave wanted to go in the casino
, it would have been it.
(32:45):
But if we would have tried tolike step in that weekend and
not send him to Vegas becauseeveryone told us not to right,
he might've passed in my mom andmy brother's house and that
would have changed everything.
Right, like having that memorythere.
Right, it was like we all go toVegas all the time.
So it's like going to someone'sgravesite, kind of Like we're,
(33:06):
and anytime we all gamble.
I think of my dad.
It's just weird.
And even yesterday my mom'sbirthday was when he passed and
we didn't love it when it firsthappened, but we were trying to
focus on my mom's birthdayyesterday more than him passing.
So it's kind of like a blessing.
But I told my mom, if they bothgo, it's going to be a really
horrible day.
Oh, that's a horrible day, Iknow, but God has a plan.
But I think when we live likethat, I don't know, and with
(33:29):
that boyfriend, if I would havejust let it fall, right, so what
?
What I was saying it all reallyis going together is I was
listening to the book of sevenhabits because I was with him
and I was trying to changemyself to make us work.
You know, when you do that,like chameleon we've all had the
chameleon era where, like I hadbangs and black hair because
(33:49):
she was dating a Mexican.
Is that?
Is that politically correct?
You say it like that.
So Latino?
Are they the?
They the same Hispanic?
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Oh yeah, we got to be fluent.
Yeah, it's funny.
So Kennedy was texting a boylast night and he's Mexican and
Ben goes oh, she's got your,your genes.
She likes the Mexicans.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Deja always dated Mexicans.
I love a Mexican yeah, she does, and she loves Mexican food.
I still do, yeah, I do, andtheir family would make all the
tamales.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I learned to make really good tacos.
I love a Mexican, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
But we try to change.
You try to look more Mexican.
I did yeah.
So the chameleon era if you'rein it, stop trying to make it
work.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Right, you shouldn't.
I never changed one thing forBen?
In fact, I feel like I'm moremyself.
You are more yourself with himthan anyone.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Crazy.
Yeah, I feel like I'm moremyself too when Kyle wasn't
coming with me on Thanksgiving.
You know when you think you'relike I'm.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Joe.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Miss Independent and I'm always like I got it and
like there was something where Iwas like I would not be okay
without him.
It's like just a reminder.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I'm like I can't even think about it.
It's horrible.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yeah, but in the book .
I remember I was listening tothe book on the plane, going on
a trip with that person that Isaw at the game and I was trying
to make it work and trying tomake it work, and then I just
should have just said we're justnot getting it Right.
I think as women, we're alwaysworried, and girls we've talked
about this before they worryabout being last.
Don't worry about being last inyour 20s or being the last one
(35:20):
to get married.
You better wait for the rightone and don't be.
It's better to be the lastmarried than first divorce I'll
say that over and over again.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
It's better to be.
So.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Many people have gotten divorced that were
married first and when you'reyoung and your friend gets
married, you know when it'sright and you know when it's
wrong oh, the night you gotengaged I called said boyfriend,
the bangs, the latino, yeah,and I was like you better
propose to me or we're done.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
He's like we're broken up.
I'm like, but we're really done.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
You did break up with him right after.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I think I broke up with him right before, but we
were like still trying.
I was still trying to make itwork.
And then, once you got engaged,I knew I couldn't for you.
I just knew if, if he couldn'tbecause he it was two years I
feel like he was making me thinkI was crazy for wanting to get
married after two years.
And I it confirmed when I sawwhat you, because you guys had
(36:04):
only been dating Five months,yeah, a few months.
So when I saw that you gotengaged, it was.
It made me like reflect on myown relationship and my own,
like the things that I want formy life and I was like that's
not a bad thing to want to getmarried after two years.
That's normal, yeah, and theyalways make you feel crazy.
(36:25):
Exactly, he was making me feelcrazy and then, once you got
engaged, I was like I'm notcrazy.
So then I called him.
Didn't work out.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
No, it does.
Though.
When my brother, when mybrother, started dating and and
same thing they got engaged likethis my sister-in-law, allison,
right when I was with the guyfor two and a half years in
college, and when I saw theirrelationship, it was like the
best version of my brotherVersion not version the best
version of my brother.
(36:53):
They were so founded on likeprinciples that mattered.
It was like so clear Godbrought them together that I was
like this, isn't that like youknew, like this, isn't that?
I feel like that happened withall of us totally.
I feel like when I found Kyle,it changed you.
You found Ben, it changed ourother friend, jen Keller.
I feel like she like it.
All you like feel, realizewhat's real and what's not.
Definitely you know.
But so the book again.
(37:15):
This is the longest story aboutthe book.
I was listening to it againtoday because I need to remember
the values and principles in it.
And what's funny is when Ilistened to the book or read the
book on the plane years agowith that boyfriend, it did help
us get along a little.
So it like prolonged theinevitable because I was working
on myself so much.
It was exhausting, right, but Iwas thinking about it today
with Kyle, my husband.
(37:36):
It talked about in our fighttoday too, our discussion.
We don't really like fight,fight, we more discuss.
You just get mad.
Remember on the plane when wewere young and I was all like we
used to fight big In college, Iwas all, you know, forgot about
that, the flip off, and thenone time our friends were all
there and I was all and it waslike bad, I think, because we're
(37:59):
passionate.
But in the book it talked aboutwin-win and it was talking about
how people want to.
We need to strive to understandbefore we're understood.
And he was talking about andthe book was written 30 years
ago he was talking about insociety when we're rushing and
rushing and rushing, we're notlistening to people as much
because our to-do list is so bigand this is me normally my
to-do list is so big, there's somany things I'm trying to get
(38:19):
done and you might do this withyour kids, or anyone might do
this with their kids, like, whatdo you need?
What do you need every day?
Like, and sometimes we're notlistening to understand.
We're listening to get ourthing, okay, cool, you want.
Okay, get in the car, get this.
Like.
And I think sometimes kids andpeople react so poorly or are so
angry because they don't feelheard, they don't feel
(38:40):
understood.
And and I was thinking aboutKyle, my husband and I'm like,
yeah, the Bahamas, like I wantto go to the Bahamas, so bad
that maybe I wasn't hearing,that I haven't been making money
as much, and like I do need tomaybe cut some things if travel
is still going to be a big thingfor me, if I'm not making
enough money, right, and if Iwould have just listened before
(39:00):
I started arguing, like maybe hewould have put his guard down
more, right, but like I was sobig on getting my point across
that sometimes I'm not listening, I'm not like really listening.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I think maybe you weren't feeling heard about this
specific topic.
I don't think he hears you alot in this topic.
How important it is to you, yes, so I think that was like why
you were frustrated.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Totally so.
This weekend, with you gone,tisha was in Bahamas, and we
don't like call each other whenwe're out of town.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
really, no, unless it's really urgent, Like work
for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
I mean we talked Really, that's it really?
No, unless it's really urgent,Like work for five minutes.
I mean we talked really, that'sit, Cause it's like our time
with our families and ourhusbands get annoyed at our
relationship.
It gets weird.
But, um, when you're gone Ihave to tell him everything,
Cause I can't tell you, you know.
So I'm like so today, he's likeI love this.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
He's booking flights for me.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
He loves it Like, and he does get more attention.
And it was a slower paced fourdays because we weren't running
everywhere, so we do get alonggreat when that's happening.
And, um, then I feel like,because he's feeling understood,
his guard is down Right, sosame as my guards not down
because I'm not feelingunderstood about travel.
I feel like there's things thatI'm just like you know, like he
calls me during the day, I'mlike yeah, yeah, yeah, you know
cause.
I'm thinking about all my thingsI want to do, yeah.
So me during the day I'm like,yeah, yeah, yeah, you know,
because I'm thinking about allmy things I want to do, yeah.
(40:23):
So in the book today I wasthinking I need to be better,
because it was talking about ourvalues versus our principles
and like how important thingsare first, not urgent, like
right now my client that'scalling that really wants to
talk about this house.
That's urgent, but what's moreimportant are, like my values of
like being here.
This is something that's to me.
So I need to put like people'surgent things aside versus like
what's important to me that's agood reminder.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
I don't.
I feel like I don't do that.
I feel like I put the urgentthings above and in our job when
things are urgent.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
They're urgent Because our kids and our
husbands matter, so they shouldbe the most important Right.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
So they should feel heard first.
But sometimes when there'ssomething urgent coming up, I
don't.
I like to deal with thingsright away, I don't like to put
things off.
It's very stressful.
Oh, I love that you're likethat too.
I think you're great because Ialways want to just address the
issue and get it solved, becauseI can't stand the feeling of
something hanging over me andthinking about it all day or
some looming.
It's stressful, so I just wantto deal with it right away.
(41:15):
So sometimes I'll put the moreimportant thing on the back
burner because I'm dealing withthe urgent matter.
That doesn't matter, but it wasso good Cause I do it.
Yes, it's horrible.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, that's a good point.
It was so good and it was likesometimes you need to win.
Win and it was talking aboutlike synergy, and I do think
that's our strength, is our workteam, and I do think it's our
strength with Tyler as much asTyler.
Sometimes we're sassy, but thefact that we can say the truth
to Tyler or to each other aboutwhat we really like, our vision,
you get farther when we alllisten to each other than just
(41:45):
like my way.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Right.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
You know, and I do think at work we do listen to
each other's point of view, eventhough it gets kind of like
sassy sometimes more me but Ithink that's what makes us so
successful in business isbecause we do really listen to
each other.
Like what do we think we shoulddo and we really talk about it
and we really like and and andwhen.
When is taking a little of whatyou say and a little of what I
say, and I think you and I eventhough we had the fight, we
(42:09):
really are good at that Like wedo take a little of what you
want to do and a little of whatI want to do and we do it that
way instead of like one of usnot feeling heard.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Yeah, I feel well.
Ben and I had like a reallyweird moment and then we like
worked through it because Iexplained how and I'm not a big
explainer, I'm feeling you arewith Ben well, because otherwise
he's so yeah, so I have toexplain why I'm doing this.
But CJ the listeners don't knowmy oldest got in a car accident
(42:40):
on, but just himself, no oneelse was involved, and so he was
driving by himself and then hecalled and he was crying and he
said, oh my God, I'm so sorry,I'm so sorry.
And I was like okay, where areyou, are you hurt?
Like is anyone else involved?
And obviously once we found out, no, but he was getting off the
freeway when he got in theaccident.
(43:01):
So I'm still scared he's on theside of the freeway going to
get hit by a car.
I.
It was just very stressful.
So I run in the room and I'mlike Ben, we got to go get him.
This happened and I have neverseen Ben as mad in our whole
marriage as he was mad, rightaway, right away, before you got
to CJ before and that isinteresting, and I was annoyed
(43:22):
because I was so like I couldtear up thinking about it.
I was so worried and I I stillam so shaken up about it because
it was so scary and and Ididn't.
He said he was okay on thephone but I'm like, is he okay,
yeah, and is he going to get hiton the side of the freeway?
I just wanted to get there sobad.
So I go, ben, let's go, we gotto go.
So he gets in the car and andhe's not fast, he's so slow.
(43:45):
I'm like, oh my God, let's go.
You know, I know too, yeahabout it.
And he was like I've never seenhim so mad and he said the
f-word and he does not lose hiscool and he like punched the
steering wheel.
I have never seen him act likethis.
It was like shocking, yeah, Icouldn't believe it.
(44:07):
I was so taken I couldn't evenbelieve it, because he does not
like I'm always coming unglued,yelling and cussing and doing
all these weird things.
He's very composed and he wasjust like mad about the money.
He's like this is going to be afortune and I was so worked up
Still we're not there to him.
Now I'm mad that I know he'ssafe, yeah, but then I wasn't.
(44:29):
So we are driving to go get himand he's going on and on about
how expensive and the money andand I was like let me out of the
car.
I'm going by myself, Like, andso I'm trying to get out of the
car.
He's like you're crazy.
We're like on the road, on themain road.
I'm trying to jump off the car.
It was like a crazy like we.
We looked like crazy people.
So emotions are high.
(44:50):
I think that's kind of normal.
So we got there, we got him.
Okay, we had to tow the car.
But then later that night wewere talking and because I told
him, I said I hate parentingwith you.
It, you're the worst.
I love that you're being honest.
I know I feel bad no, but it'snot.
There's those moments he's thebest dad, like he literally
(45:10):
gives everything to his family,but he is so worried about not
the things I'm worried aboutsometimes and it's frustrating,
yeah, and in that moment I wasjust so scared our son wasn't
okay or was not going to be okayand well, and that kind of
grosses you out sometimes.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
I was so grossed out I'm like what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (45:28):
and then I just was like I hate parenting with you.
It's awful.
Yeah, it gives you that weirdfeeling.
I go it's the worst part aboutbeing married to you and so that
was hurtful.
And so he does this thing wherehe like reflects and doesn't
get over anything.
So I'm already over it.
Once everything was safe andeveryone's fine, you know.
And later that night I'm likeokay, what are we having for
dinner?
And he's like you know, whenyou told me that you hate
(45:51):
parenting with me, that wasreally.
I'm so I'm trying to be niceCause I don't want to get bigger
.
So I try to explain, like, okay, I just was frustrated in that
moment about the safety of ourchild and that was the only
thing I cared about, and youcaring about the other stuff.
I was just so in my emotionsand you don't act right when
(46:13):
you're in emotion, so I said ahurtful thing.
I don't mean that, yeah, butcause he's a great dad, but yeah
, so, but you're both notfeeling heard.
No, I was thinking that.
So we had to talk it through.
We don't always do that and wehad to have a whole talk and he
had to say that that wasn't niceand I had to apologize and tell
him I didn't mean it and blahblah, but it was just.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
But then you guys, that's good that you can talk
through it, though, Right.
Well, I think we're again.
We're wired different, but it'sso frustrating when they are so
one way Parenting is thehardest thing.
I was talking to newlywed and Iwas like she's, it's getting
harder with the families andthis and that, and I'm like, oh,
it gets so much harder.
Kyle and I go on a trip.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
We're like 10 years old best friends in the Bahamas.
Yeah, it's different andparenting is so hard, but I
think when we try to listen,well and nobody reacts the same
to everything.
So, like you said, I wantpeople who are just like me.
Ben reacts opposite of me inevery way and it's great because
I think we get both, but it'sso hard to like collaborate with
.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Yeah, but I think, like we just talked about a lot,
it's good to be heard andappreciate each other's
differences and in the same time, it's all gonna work out like I
had that moment too, where Iwas like so thankful for Kyle
this weekend and I was like Godtotally picked him for me oh,
totally and if I just stoppedlike getting annoyed by certain
things and leaning into the factthat it wasn't my picker, it
(47:33):
was God's picker.
So, like everything he is, itwas designed to compliment me
and everything I am is designedto compliment him, and leaning
into letting it work out RightRather than trying to control
each other or change him.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Yeah, like he is supposed to yell about
everything, exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
Otherwise we would be broke on the side of the road.
Totally A hundred percent.
And with parenting Kyle's sobetter than me A lot.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Like Ben makes our kids make the bed.
I don't care if they make thebed, I don't make the bed, but
it's so good that our kids aregetting someone to tell them to
make the bed Well, and it'sstructured Totally and you're
not like as structured, I'm notas structured.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Yeah, Well, I saw these that we took my mom to
lunch and these kids were goingcrazy and the mom and dad were
there and I was like, oh, ifkyle was here, like this
wouldn't go on right, he wouldhave killed him already by now.
Right, it made me appreciatehim, even though I'm like, when
I don't have him, I'm like, ohmy gosh, they're abusing me, but
anyways, so that's it jerkingaround oh, that's it.
(48:29):
Let it all work out, it'll allwork out.
Yeah, god has a plan, totally,and tisha's getting her surgery
next week on the hemorrhoids.
Hopefully it comes out okay andthe piercing is going to be
gone too no anyways, thanks forlistening.
Welcome to jerking around apodcast that makes you feel
better about yourself, becausewe're a mess just like you, and
crystal makes fun of me thewhole time and it's great and
(48:51):
it's real.
Take care.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.