April 28, 2025 • 22 mins
We explore the significance of Easter as a season of renewal and what it means to let Jesus breathe new life into areas of our lives that seem beyond repair. Through personal stories and biblical insights, we discuss how pride often prevents us from experiencing restoration and why sometimes feeling the hurt is necessary for healing.
Do you have relationships that seem beyond repair? Projects abandoned on the shelf? Habits you continually struggle with? We're getting vulnerable about the things we keep trying to fix ourselves rather than surrendering to Jesus. Steph bravely shares about a decade-long family rift with her cousin that God has been nudging her to address since the beginning of the year. Despite knowing reconciliation is needed, pride keeps her holding on—a struggle many of us understand all too well.
What are you refusing to release? What would happen if you stopped picking back up what you've supposedly laid at Jesus' feet? This is your season of renewal. For such a time as this, you've been given another opportunity to start fresh. The question is—will you take it?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jess (00:03):
Hey, welcome back, or welcome to the Jesus Fix it
podcast, the show where we talkabout life, the ups, the downs,
a little pop culture andeverything in between.
Steph (00:12):
I'm Jess and I'm Steph.
Every other week we dive intothe things we're asking Jesus to
fix.
And let's be real, there's alot.
You can always count on us tokeep it real.
Jess (00:24):
Share some laughs with us and maybe a few tears, as we
tackle the big and small stuffwith faith and honesty.
So grab your coffee and let'sget into it.
I'm so glad it's Easter season.
I'm so glad it's spring.
I am the biggest winter Grinch.
Yes, you are.
I had to enunciate all of that.
Steph (00:45):
You really are.
Jess (00:47):
Wow, okay, tell me how you really feel.
Steph (00:50):
I mean, we did a reel about it.
Let's be honest.
Jess (00:54):
Not everybody sees our social media who's listening to
the podcast?
Okay, just to let you know.
So we did this reel just rightwhen the weather started to
break a little bit.
It was what a 70 degree day.
It was a nice warm day.
Steph (01:10):
You had legs out, yep, toes out toes out and everything
I had on a sweater, yep, andyour jeans and your boots or
something I mean you were likeyou yes you were just covered
because my grandma would havesaid that's pneumonia weather.
Jess (01:27):
Oh my goodness what.
It's not really safe to likestart breaking out like your
warm weather things until likeMay what.
Steph (01:43):
What, like, may, what, what?
I'm already in the mindset ofevery day.
I go into my closet and I'mlike, dang it, I don't have
anything to wear because I'mgonna be dying, it's gonna be so
hot.
I've got to change over myspring wardrobe and my fall and
winter wardrobe, like I havetubs of clothes that I have too
many clothes, but I have tubs ofclothes of spring and summer
(02:03):
and those need to come out andeverything that's in my closet
that's fall and winter needs togo away.
It is yeah, no, mm-mm, yeah.
Why are you so dramatic?
I'm not dramatic.
Jess (02:15):
Oh, my goodness, so dramatic.
Y'all literally freeze me inhere.
I know you are roasting rightnow in the studio.
Steph (02:23):
Freeze me in here, I know you're roasting right now in
the studio.
Jess (02:24):
First of all, I have to apologize because normally when
you come in here for us torecord, I drop the temp like two
or three degrees and I forgotand I appreciate that you do
think about that.
I actually forgot today, I justyou know, I put on extra
deodorant this morning, so we'regood and I appreciate that,
yeah, it's give and take, okay,but I love, love spring, not
(02:45):
just because the weather isgetting warmer, but I love the
whole season of renewal.
I love the refresh.
Fall and spring are sobeautiful, but I just love just
the newness of it, because okay,I know this is going to sound
super sappy, okay.
Steph (03:02):
I'm ready.
Jess (03:03):
Okay, you're already giving me like okay, here she
goes.
But this is the thing.
Okay, when I think about springand if you listen to Good
(03:29):
Morning Radio, if you've lifethat are beyond repair, but I
keep trying to give life to andthey're just gone, and I like to
think about those things that Ineed to hand over to Jesus and
let Him breathe new life into,because I'm obviously not doing
anything for them, but I need tohand them over to Jesus and let
(03:50):
him renew them.
What you're doing is you'reholding on to them.
I'm holding on to things.
This is the season to thinkabout those things in your life
that you need to let go of, thatyou need to let Jesus breathe
new life into, or let him justrenew.
What's that verse?
Is it Isaiah?
I'm so bad at rememberingverses.
(04:12):
It's like I need to go back to awand.
Steph (04:14):
Yes, I'll wear the badges with you, I know.
Jess (04:20):
Let me renew.
I'm going to look that verse upin a little bit, but you know
what I'm saying.
This is the season to let himdo that new thing within you,
and so I think about that.
During this new season, isthere a relationship that I need
to let him restore or that Ineed to just let go?
No bitterness, no anger, that Ijust need to say you know what.
(04:43):
It's run its course, it had itsseason.
There's no bitterness, it'sjust.
You know, there's somerelationships that the season is
just it, yeah, or is there atime of restoration?
I just need to let Jesus dothat, or is there something else
that I need to let Jesus renew?
Steph (05:02):
You know what I mean.
I mean, let me just talk for asecond about that relationship
thing.
It has been on my heart andthis is one of those things
holding on tight.
I am so holding on tight tothis of a family relationship
that it's been, I think, 10years that we had a squabble.
There was lots that went intothis and my cousin and I have
(05:24):
not talked in about 10 years andit has been since the beginning
of the year that God has beenputting on my heart.
You need to let go of this.
You need to let go of the hurtand give forgiveness, and
there's boundaries that stillcan be set, but I just keep
(05:44):
holding on to it.
I mean the fact that here we arein April and it's been now four
months, three and a half, andI'm just like, okay, lord, I
hear you.
I know that I need to do this.
I've put into place plans inorder to have this conversation
with my cousin and apologize forthe bratty actions that I had
(06:06):
and what I had that I did withthis relationship to make it be
at this point.
It was not a one-way street, itwas communication, both ways,
but I just struggle and I'm justholding on to it so tight.
So when you say that I'm like,okay, okay, lord, like you're
coming at me since the beginningof the year, you're speaking to
me through Jess and saying, yes, steph, you need to let go of
(06:30):
this and you need to ask forforgiveness and have this
relationship's one that needsthe restoration.
Yeah, but I understand wherethere's relationships where
you're just like okay, thatperson was in my life for a
chapter.
That chapter is now done and itis fine that that person's no
longer in my life for a chapter.
That chapter is now done and itis fine that that person is no
longer.
Jess (06:46):
This one is one of those restorations, or a reason or a
season, is what they say yeah,why do you feel like you hold on
to that thing?
Like, why do you feel likeyou're holding on?
Sometimes I'll hold on becauseit's like I'm right, I know I
was right and I'm waiting onthat person to tell me I was
right and I'm not going to moveaway from it until they just
acknowledge that I was right.
If they just say I was rightabout the thing, then we can
(07:09):
just go on.
Sometimes I just need thatvalidation.
And do I really need it?
Is that my own pride?
Pride?
Steph (07:16):
Yeah, that was the word that came into my head.
Why can I not?
What is that that is holding meback from writing this letter
to my cousin?
And apologizing is my own pride, and it's because there's so
much where I'm like.
It was a frustrating situation.
We were both put into with lackof communication and because of
it, on both sides, we both hadpride and neither one of us want
(07:38):
to give that up.
Yeah, even though it's been solong, and it's like, yes, time
heals all wounds quote unquote,as it says, but you still have
to go through those steps of thepruning.
Talking about spring things, Idon't garden.
I'm like I can grow weeds andthat's it, but you got to cut
the weeds down.
(07:58):
So it's like I need to gothrough this and we both need to
have a time of pruning, andGod's been working in my heart
and I truly just believe he'sbeen working in her heart too.
She been working in my heartand I truly just believe he's
been working in her heart too.
She is a Christian, we're bothbelievers and I need to be the
one that steps out and says okay, here we go, we need the
restoration.
Whatever this looks like, it'snot something.
(08:19):
She lives in Germany.
Oh, my word, we're not evenclose like physically,
geographically, we're not close.
Y'all have had the time and thespace.
Yes, exactly, exactly.
And so, yes, god, I hear you,yes, jess, I hear you saying
this and god speaking throughyou.
Jess (08:36):
It's tough somebody once told me sometimes you have to
feel the hurt in order to healand I so get that like.
I don't like it.
It's not easy, but sometimesyou have to feel that you have
to feel all the things and Idon't know why that's true.
Sometimes I don't want to feelthe hurt, to heal.
I don't want it to have to hurt,but sometimes I really do feel
(08:59):
like that's true, even though Idon't want to feel it.
I don't want that to be true,but I do see why that has to
happen, because sometimes youhave to feel what that other
person may be to happen.
Because sometimes you have tofeel what that other person may
be feeling, and sometimes youhave to feel that hurt to see
okay, maybe I wasn't alwaysright in this situation.
Sometimes I am prideful, Idon't have to always be the one
(09:20):
that's right and then you haveto take a step back and realize
okay, I've let a lot of timepass by because I'm holding on
to something that I just need tolet go of.
Think of the time that's beenlost because I'm just holding on
to this thing because of my ownpride.
Life is so short.
(09:42):
That's time that could havebeen spent building that
relationship, the laughter thatcould have happened, the time
spent together that could havehappened, the memories that
could have happened.
But we hold in grudges.
Steph (09:54):
I was being a brat, I mean, and like I did need some
of this time in order to growand understand where I was in
the wrong.
Yeah, it wasn't something thatcame immediate, but yes, I was
being a brat that's the bestword that I can come up with for
(10:15):
it.
You know, you do grow a lot in10 years if you're willing to
allow it.
And that's where I needed to be, at that place where I said,
okay, I'm surrendering this now,okay, so this is weird for me
to say I don't like the sideeffects of growing old.
Jess (10:33):
I like growing old because what's the alternative?
But one thing I like aboutgrowing older is the wisdom and
what happens.
Because the Jess 10 years agowould never admit when she was
wrong.
Same Hello, just 10 years agowould never admit when she was
wrong.
Same Hello.
The just 10 years ago wouldnever admit the pride issues.
The just 10 years ago wouldnever admit okay, god needed to
(10:59):
do some work within me.
The just you know, probablyfive years ago, would never
admit.
You know what I need?
Steph (11:10):
forgiveness myself or I had trouble forgiving people or
you know what maybe it's me, I'mthe problem, it's them.
It's always them, it's never me.
Jess (11:19):
But being able to admit sometimes, no, first of all, I'm
not always the problem, let'sjust get that.
I will still admit that I'm theproblem sometimes, but not all
the time.
But at least being able to saysometimes it is me, sometimes I
am the problem, I think that'sgrowth.
And I think, when you can admitthat you are the problem, and
(11:42):
even sometimes, when you knowyou're not the problem but
you're willing to take a stepback and show grace, and that is
only God.
Because there are times andthis is not me being prideful in
this moment but there are timeswhen I know for a fact that I'm
not the problem, but I amwilling to step aside and act
like I am, that is only God.
(12:03):
That is only God Because youknow that feeling.
When you know that, you knowthat, you know that you are not
the problem, but you just wantto say, okay, all right, then,
then have it your way.
Steph (12:17):
I mean, that's one of those let go and let God I know.
Jess (12:20):
And that's hard.
That would not have been just10 years ago.
Steph (12:24):
Yeah, I mean I think like three years ago, getting
married a month ago, thank you,lord.
I mean that's one thing, thatmarriage for me.
Marriage has taught for me alot of let it putting myself
aside, yeah, and I mean bless myhusband's heart.
(12:47):
I love Mike.
There's a lot of times whereI'm like okay yeah, go ahead
uh-huh okay.
Jess (12:53):
I'm just gonna let go and let God social media has helped
me a lot with that too.
Yeah, because they're likesometimes I want to be a crusade
, a keyboard crusader.
Sometimes I want to get onsocial media and be like you
know what.
You just cuss somebody out andthen you just now put Jeremiah
(13:14):
2911 on there as your profilepicture or whatever.
I want to get on there and tellthem about themselves.
So bad.
But I'm like you know what?
You don't got to do that.
Steph (13:29):
Literally yesterday.
Yesterday I was dealing withthis situation because there's a
restaurant that I like andthey're hosting a non-Christian
event.
We'll leave it at that, Okay.
And a lot of people in thecommunity are like, yay, I'm so
proud of you.
And then other people are like,oh, how dare you?
You've just lost all mybusiness.
(13:50):
I'll never go back.
Jess (13:51):
Like shame on you for blah , blah, blah.
Steph (13:53):
Well then, don't go.
Jess (13:54):
Literally, that's what I had to stop myself from saying
Then don't go.
Steph (13:58):
I'm not going to go to the restaurant on the day
they're hosting that, becausethat's not something.
But I like the restaurant, Ilike the people that are there,
and what if I'm the only lightof Jesus that they're seeing?
Exactly, then don't go.
Yeah, I had to stop myself from.
Jess (14:16):
It's like this and look, if you choose not to listen
after I say this, I'llunderstand.
I'll still love you.
I'm probably going to talkabout you, but OK.
But it's just like during SuperBowl time, when people complain
about the halftime show thatit's not Christian.
Turn the channel.
Don't watch, then don't watchit.
Yeah, I love Jesus with all myheart, but if I don't agree with
(14:42):
something I'm seeing thatdoesn't align with what I
believe, I'm not going to sitthere and entertain it.
It's that simple, yeah.
Steph (14:51):
It's just that simple.
Jess (14:52):
It's just that simple, and so I just I don't understand.
And it happens every year, youknow Every year.
Steph (15:01):
The Super Bowl halftime show is coming around and
chances are it's not going to beLauren Daigle.
Jess (15:06):
It's not going to be Lauren Daigle.
It's not going to be LaurenDaigle.
Steph (15:09):
Or Mercy Me, or Casting Crowns.
Jess (15:12):
But and you know, I just I get it we want more Jesus in
the world, we want to be thelight, but we've got to also
show grace and we've got to alsolet people see Jesus through us
.
So I just, I don't know, but atthe same time I've got to
(15:38):
refrain from, you know, tryingnot to act like they're acting
as well.
So I know I have work to domyself.
I see that, I know.
Steph (15:50):
So, and that's wisdom, and that's growth, and that's
aging.
Jess (15:53):
I try, but look, he is still working on this heart too.
He knows my heart and I knowsometimes he's probably shaking
his head at me like, oh girl, ohgirl, like I get this, and I'm
so thankful that he works in meevery single day.
I'm so thankful for that, andthat's another reason why I kind
(16:16):
of, during this time, I takeinventory of myself what do I
need to work on?
Because this whole season isjust it's a little emotional for
me, just like it is for a lot.
This is like the ChristianSuper Bowl, you're right.
Steph (16:39):
And the halftime show is the passion you know, Because I
mean it kind of is.
Jess (16:47):
I mean think about it.
I'm trying not to get emotional, thinking about it because it's
like I am such a mess and hedid this thing for me and it's
like, first of all, I love you,but I ain't giving up my son for
you, you know.
(17:10):
Yeah, you're not getting.
I wish you would.
You know what I mean.
Steph (17:15):
Yeah, I mean you think about it, oh my gosh, like, ah,
music Music's.
So I mean Spirit FM existsbecause of music, yeah, and we
had Winter Jam that came throughearlier in the year, and New
Song is the group that alwaysputs Winter Jam on.
(17:36):
They're the pinnacle of it andone of my favorite songs of
theirs is Arise my Love.
Yeah, and I just think aboutlike I'm very emotionally
attached to music and like I canjust listen to a piece of music
and just bawl my eyes out.
Yes, and thinking about thatsong and like really, yes, the
(17:58):
musicality of it.
But what they're saying arise,my love, arise.
No longer the grave has a holdon you.
And what does that do in ourlife?
Thinking about that, it makesme emotional.
Now it's like just think aboutno longer does the grave have a
hold on us, so give up what wedon't need to hang on to,
(18:22):
because God's already won.
He has the victory over all ofit.
Jess (18:26):
Yeah, Already.
So just think about that thingin your life that's holding you
back or not even you think it'snot holding you back.
Think about how many times yousay you know what.
That's it.
I'm done today.
I'm going to take this beer.
(18:48):
I'm going to take the cigarette.
I'm going to take all this foodI keep consuming.
I'm going to stop today.
I'm going to lay it at the footof Jesus.
I'm going to walk away from it.
And then you turn right backaround.
Whatever that addiction is,whatever, For me it's food, it's
food.
It's so many things, it's food,it's shopping, it's a lot of
things, so many things.
(19:09):
I lay at his feet, sitting downand just watching Netflix,
netflix.
I lay it at his feet and sayyou know what, not today I'm
going to read a book, not today.
I'm not going to shop today.
I'm not going to sit and eat myemotions Not today.
You know what, jesus, when Ifeel like eating a cookie, today
, I am going to read adevotional.
I'm doing it today.
(19:29):
What am I doing?
I'm standing at the cabinetlooking for another cookie.
It seems silly, but y'all, thisis how my mind works.
I lay all of those things athis feet and I turn right back
around and pick them up everysingle day, but then every
single day he's right there,grace and mercy.
Every single day I'm startingall over again and he never says
(19:52):
you know what you failed.
Again, it's over, it's over foryou.
Steph (19:56):
He never says that you know what you failed.
Again it's over.
It's over for you.
He never says that.
Jess (19:59):
Every day that he gives me breath in my lungs, I have a
chance to start over again, andso I'm so thankful for that.
So during the season, I'm justrenewal, renewal, renewal,
refresh, refresh, refresh, andso I'm so thankful for that
opportunity and I try my bestnot to squander it.
Sometimes I do, because everyMonday I'm trying all over again
(20:24):
.
But I'm so thankful that youknow that I have this chance,
and so that's where my mind isduring this season.
I'm just praying that you know,if you're listening, if you're
not already in that mindset thatyou'll be thinking about what
you can refresh and renew, oryou'll be thinking about that
(20:46):
situation in your life that justseems completely dead, whether
it's a relationship, whetherit's that book you started you
thought, hey, I want to write abook this year and you started
writing it.
And then you have all yournotes on a shelf and you're just
like you know what?
I'm no good.
That is a lie straight fromSatan.
You pick that book up.
(21:07):
If there's a project youthought was dead, you've been
wanting to do it and the enemytold you that you can't do that
project.
You know what?
You let Jesus breathe new lifeinto that project and you start
that project, Whatever situationthat you feel like needs to be
refreshed, I pray that you'lljust pray over it and let this
(21:29):
be the season for you.
This is your time.
This is your season For such atime as this.
I was going to look up thatother verse, but I like that
verse better.
Steph (21:41):
Can't give you the address.
Jess (21:47):
Find hope and inspiration with Jess's Daily Devotion.
Steph (21:51):
Check out jessdailydevocom or search
Jess's Daily Devotion whereveryou listen to podcasts.
Hey, welcome back, or welcome to the Jesus Fix it
podcast, the show where we talkabout life, the ups, the downs,
a little pop culture andeverything in between.
Steph (00:12):
I'm Jess and I'm Steph.
Every other week we dive intothe things we're asking Jesus to
fix.
And let's be real, there's alot.
You can always count on us tokeep it real.
Jess (00:24):
Share some laughs with us and maybe a few tears, as we
tackle the big and small stuffwith faith and honesty.
So grab your coffee and let'sget into it.
I'm so glad it's Easter season.
I'm so glad it's spring.
I am the biggest winter Grinch.
Yes, you are.
I had to enunciate all of that.
Steph (00:45):
You really are.
Jess (00:47):
Wow, okay, tell me how you really feel.
Steph (00:50):
I mean, we did a reel about it.
Let's be honest.
Jess (00:54):
Not everybody sees our social media who's listening to
the podcast?
Okay, just to let you know.
So we did this reel just rightwhen the weather started to
break a little bit.
It was what a 70 degree day.
It was a nice warm day.
Steph (01:10):
You had legs out, yep, toes out toes out and everything
I had on a sweater, yep, andyour jeans and your boots or
something I mean you were likeyou yes you were just covered
because my grandma would havesaid that's pneumonia weather.
Jess (01:27):
Oh my goodness what.
It's not really safe to likestart breaking out like your
warm weather things until likeMay what.
Steph (01:43):
What, like, may, what, what?
I'm already in the mindset ofevery day.
I go into my closet and I'mlike, dang it, I don't have
anything to wear because I'mgonna be dying, it's gonna be so
hot.
I've got to change over myspring wardrobe and my fall and
winter wardrobe, like I havetubs of clothes that I have too
many clothes, but I have tubs ofclothes of spring and summer
(02:03):
and those need to come out andeverything that's in my closet
that's fall and winter needs togo away.
It is yeah, no, mm-mm, yeah.
Why are you so dramatic?
I'm not dramatic.
Jess (02:15):
Oh, my goodness, so dramatic.
Y'all literally freeze me inhere.
I know you are roasting rightnow in the studio.
Steph (02:23):
Freeze me in here, I know you're roasting right now in
the studio.
Jess (02:24):
First of all, I have to apologize because normally when
you come in here for us torecord, I drop the temp like two
or three degrees and I forgotand I appreciate that you do
think about that.
I actually forgot today, I justyou know, I put on extra
deodorant this morning, so we'regood and I appreciate that,
yeah, it's give and take, okay,but I love, love spring, not
(02:45):
just because the weather isgetting warmer, but I love the
whole season of renewal.
I love the refresh.
Fall and spring are sobeautiful, but I just love just
the newness of it, because okay,I know this is going to sound
super sappy, okay.
Steph (03:02):
I'm ready.
Jess (03:03):
Okay, you're already giving me like okay, here she
goes.
But this is the thing.
Okay, when I think about springand if you listen to Good
(03:29):
Morning Radio, if you've lifethat are beyond repair, but I
keep trying to give life to andthey're just gone, and I like to
think about those things that Ineed to hand over to Jesus and
let Him breathe new life into,because I'm obviously not doing
anything for them, but I need tohand them over to Jesus and let
(03:50):
him renew them.
What you're doing is you'reholding on to them.
I'm holding on to things.
This is the season to thinkabout those things in your life
that you need to let go of, thatyou need to let Jesus breathe
new life into, or let him justrenew.
What's that verse?
Is it Isaiah?
I'm so bad at rememberingverses.
(04:12):
It's like I need to go back to awand.
Steph (04:14):
Yes, I'll wear the badges with you, I know.
Jess (04:20):
Let me renew.
I'm going to look that verse upin a little bit, but you know
what I'm saying.
This is the season to let himdo that new thing within you,
and so I think about that.
During this new season, isthere a relationship that I need
to let him restore or that Ineed to just let go?
No bitterness, no anger, that Ijust need to say you know what.
(04:43):
It's run its course, it had itsseason.
There's no bitterness, it'sjust.
You know, there's somerelationships that the season is
just it, yeah, or is there atime of restoration?
I just need to let Jesus dothat, or is there something else
that I need to let Jesus renew?
Steph (05:02):
You know what I mean.
I mean, let me just talk for asecond about that relationship
thing.
It has been on my heart andthis is one of those things
holding on tight.
I am so holding on tight tothis of a family relationship
that it's been, I think, 10years that we had a squabble.
There was lots that went intothis and my cousin and I have
(05:24):
not talked in about 10 years andit has been since the beginning
of the year that God has beenputting on my heart.
You need to let go of this.
You need to let go of the hurtand give forgiveness, and
there's boundaries that stillcan be set, but I just keep
(05:44):
holding on to it.
I mean the fact that here we arein April and it's been now four
months, three and a half, andI'm just like, okay, lord, I
hear you.
I know that I need to do this.
I've put into place plans inorder to have this conversation
with my cousin and apologize forthe bratty actions that I had
(06:06):
and what I had that I did withthis relationship to make it be
at this point.
It was not a one-way street, itwas communication, both ways,
but I just struggle and I'm justholding on to it so tight.
So when you say that I'm like,okay, okay, lord, like you're
coming at me since the beginningof the year, you're speaking to
me through Jess and saying, yes, steph, you need to let go of
(06:30):
this and you need to ask forforgiveness and have this
relationship's one that needsthe restoration.
Yeah, but I understand wherethere's relationships where
you're just like okay, thatperson was in my life for a
chapter.
That chapter is now done and itis fine that that person's no
longer in my life for a chapter.
That chapter is now done and itis fine that that person is no
longer.
Jess (06:46):
This one is one of those restorations, or a reason or a
season, is what they say yeah,why do you feel like you hold on
to that thing?
Like, why do you feel likeyou're holding on?
Sometimes I'll hold on becauseit's like I'm right, I know I
was right and I'm waiting onthat person to tell me I was
right and I'm not going to moveaway from it until they just
acknowledge that I was right.
If they just say I was rightabout the thing, then we can
(07:09):
just go on.
Sometimes I just need thatvalidation.
And do I really need it?
Is that my own pride?
Pride?
Steph (07:16):
Yeah, that was the word that came into my head.
Why can I not?
What is that that is holding meback from writing this letter
to my cousin?
And apologizing is my own pride, and it's because there's so
much where I'm like.
It was a frustrating situation.
We were both put into with lackof communication and because of
it, on both sides, we both hadpride and neither one of us want
(07:38):
to give that up.
Yeah, even though it's been solong, and it's like, yes, time
heals all wounds quote unquote,as it says, but you still have
to go through those steps of thepruning.
Talking about spring things, Idon't garden.
I'm like I can grow weeds andthat's it, but you got to cut
the weeds down.
(07:58):
So it's like I need to gothrough this and we both need to
have a time of pruning, andGod's been working in my heart
and I truly just believe he'sbeen working in her heart too.
She been working in my heartand I truly just believe he's
been working in her heart too.
She is a Christian, we're bothbelievers and I need to be the
one that steps out and says okay, here we go, we need the
restoration.
Whatever this looks like, it'snot something.
(08:19):
She lives in Germany.
Oh, my word, we're not evenclose like physically,
geographically, we're not close.
Y'all have had the time and thespace.
Yes, exactly, exactly.
And so, yes, god, I hear you,yes, jess, I hear you saying
this and god speaking throughyou.
Jess (08:36):
It's tough somebody once told me sometimes you have to
feel the hurt in order to healand I so get that like.
I don't like it.
It's not easy, but sometimesyou have to feel that you have
to feel all the things and Idon't know why that's true.
Sometimes I don't want to feelthe hurt, to heal.
I don't want it to have to hurt,but sometimes I really do feel
(08:59):
like that's true, even though Idon't want to feel it.
I don't want that to be true,but I do see why that has to
happen, because sometimes youhave to feel what that other
person may be to happen.
Because sometimes you have tofeel what that other person may
be feeling, and sometimes youhave to feel that hurt to see
okay, maybe I wasn't alwaysright in this situation.
Sometimes I am prideful, Idon't have to always be the one
(09:20):
that's right and then you haveto take a step back and realize
okay, I've let a lot of timepass by because I'm holding on
to something that I just need tolet go of.
Think of the time that's beenlost because I'm just holding on
to this thing because of my ownpride.
Life is so short.
(09:42):
That's time that could havebeen spent building that
relationship, the laughter thatcould have happened, the time
spent together that could havehappened, the memories that
could have happened.
But we hold in grudges.
Steph (09:54):
I was being a brat, I mean, and like I did need some
of this time in order to growand understand where I was in
the wrong.
Yeah, it wasn't something thatcame immediate, but yes, I was
being a brat that's the bestword that I can come up with for
(10:15):
it.
You know, you do grow a lot in10 years if you're willing to
allow it.
And that's where I needed to be, at that place where I said,
okay, I'm surrendering this now,okay, so this is weird for me
to say I don't like the sideeffects of growing old.
Jess (10:33):
I like growing old because what's the alternative?
But one thing I like aboutgrowing older is the wisdom and
what happens.
Because the Jess 10 years agowould never admit when she was
wrong.
Same Hello, just 10 years agowould never admit when she was
wrong.
Same Hello.
The just 10 years ago wouldnever admit the pride issues.
The just 10 years ago wouldnever admit okay, god needed to
(10:59):
do some work within me.
The just you know, probablyfive years ago, would never
admit.
You know what I need?
Steph (11:10):
forgiveness myself or I had trouble forgiving people or
you know what maybe it's me, I'mthe problem, it's them.
It's always them, it's never me.
Jess (11:19):
But being able to admit sometimes, no, first of all, I'm
not always the problem, let'sjust get that.
I will still admit that I'm theproblem sometimes, but not all
the time.
But at least being able to saysometimes it is me, sometimes I
am the problem, I think that'sgrowth.
And I think, when you can admitthat you are the problem, and
(11:42):
even sometimes, when you knowyou're not the problem but
you're willing to take a stepback and show grace, and that is
only God.
Because there are times andthis is not me being prideful in
this moment but there are timeswhen I know for a fact that I'm
not the problem, but I amwilling to step aside and act
like I am, that is only God.
(12:03):
That is only God Because youknow that feeling.
When you know that, you knowthat, you know that you are not
the problem, but you just wantto say, okay, all right, then,
then have it your way.
Steph (12:17):
I mean, that's one of those let go and let God I know.
Jess (12:20):
And that's hard.
That would not have been just10 years ago.
Steph (12:24):
Yeah, I mean I think like three years ago, getting
married a month ago, thank you,lord.
I mean that's one thing, thatmarriage for me.
Marriage has taught for me alot of let it putting myself
aside, yeah, and I mean bless myhusband's heart.
(12:47):
I love Mike.
There's a lot of times whereI'm like okay yeah, go ahead
uh-huh okay.
Jess (12:53):
I'm just gonna let go and let God social media has helped
me a lot with that too.
Yeah, because they're likesometimes I want to be a crusade
, a keyboard crusader.
Sometimes I want to get onsocial media and be like you
know what.
You just cuss somebody out andthen you just now put Jeremiah
(13:14):
2911 on there as your profilepicture or whatever.
I want to get on there and tellthem about themselves.
So bad.
But I'm like you know what?
You don't got to do that.
Steph (13:29):
Literally yesterday.
Yesterday I was dealing withthis situation because there's a
restaurant that I like andthey're hosting a non-Christian
event.
We'll leave it at that, Okay.
And a lot of people in thecommunity are like, yay, I'm so
proud of you.
And then other people are like,oh, how dare you?
You've just lost all mybusiness.
(13:50):
I'll never go back.
Jess (13:51):
Like shame on you for blah , blah, blah.
Steph (13:53):
Well then, don't go.
Jess (13:54):
Literally, that's what I had to stop myself from saying
Then don't go.
Steph (13:58):
I'm not going to go to the restaurant on the day
they're hosting that, becausethat's not something.
But I like the restaurant, Ilike the people that are there,
and what if I'm the only lightof Jesus that they're seeing?
Exactly, then don't go.
Yeah, I had to stop myself from.
Jess (14:16):
It's like this and look, if you choose not to listen
after I say this, I'llunderstand.
I'll still love you.
I'm probably going to talkabout you, but OK.
But it's just like during SuperBowl time, when people complain
about the halftime show thatit's not Christian.
Turn the channel.
Don't watch, then don't watchit.
Yeah, I love Jesus with all myheart, but if I don't agree with
(14:42):
something I'm seeing thatdoesn't align with what I
believe, I'm not going to sitthere and entertain it.
It's that simple, yeah.
Steph (14:51):
It's just that simple.
Jess (14:52):
It's just that simple, and so I just I don't understand.
And it happens every year, youknow Every year.
Steph (15:01):
The Super Bowl halftime show is coming around and
chances are it's not going to beLauren Daigle.
Jess (15:06):
It's not going to be Lauren Daigle.
It's not going to be LaurenDaigle.
Steph (15:09):
Or Mercy Me, or Casting Crowns.
Jess (15:12):
But and you know, I just I get it we want more Jesus in
the world, we want to be thelight, but we've got to also
show grace and we've got to alsolet people see Jesus through us
.
So I just, I don't know, but atthe same time I've got to
(15:38):
refrain from, you know, tryingnot to act like they're acting
as well.
So I know I have work to domyself.
I see that, I know.
Steph (15:50):
So, and that's wisdom, and that's growth, and that's
aging.
Jess (15:53):
I try, but look, he is still working on this heart too.
He knows my heart and I knowsometimes he's probably shaking
his head at me like, oh girl, ohgirl, like I get this, and I'm
so thankful that he works in meevery single day.
I'm so thankful for that, andthat's another reason why I kind
(16:16):
of, during this time, I takeinventory of myself what do I
need to work on?
Because this whole season isjust it's a little emotional for
me, just like it is for a lot.
This is like the ChristianSuper Bowl, you're right.
Steph (16:39):
And the halftime show is the passion you know, Because I
mean it kind of is.
Jess (16:47):
I mean think about it.
I'm trying not to get emotional, thinking about it because it's
like I am such a mess and hedid this thing for me and it's
like, first of all, I love you,but I ain't giving up my son for
you, you know.
(17:10):
Yeah, you're not getting.
I wish you would.
You know what I mean.
Steph (17:15):
Yeah, I mean you think about it, oh my gosh, like, ah,
music Music's.
So I mean Spirit FM existsbecause of music, yeah, and we
had Winter Jam that came throughearlier in the year, and New
Song is the group that alwaysputs Winter Jam on.
(17:36):
They're the pinnacle of it andone of my favorite songs of
theirs is Arise my Love.
Yeah, and I just think aboutlike I'm very emotionally
attached to music and like I canjust listen to a piece of music
and just bawl my eyes out.
Yes, and thinking about thatsong and like really, yes, the
(17:58):
musicality of it.
But what they're saying arise,my love, arise.
No longer the grave has a holdon you.
And what does that do in ourlife?
Thinking about that, it makesme emotional.
Now it's like just think aboutno longer does the grave have a
hold on us, so give up what wedon't need to hang on to,
(18:22):
because God's already won.
He has the victory over all ofit.
Jess (18:26):
Yeah, Already.
So just think about that thingin your life that's holding you
back or not even you think it'snot holding you back.
Think about how many times yousay you know what.
That's it.
I'm done today.
I'm going to take this beer.
(18:48):
I'm going to take the cigarette.
I'm going to take all this foodI keep consuming.
I'm going to stop today.
I'm going to lay it at the footof Jesus.
I'm going to walk away from it.
And then you turn right backaround.
Whatever that addiction is,whatever, For me it's food, it's
food.
It's so many things, it's food,it's shopping, it's a lot of
things, so many things.
(19:09):
I lay at his feet, sitting downand just watching Netflix,
netflix.
I lay it at his feet and sayyou know what, not today I'm
going to read a book, not today.
I'm not going to shop today.
I'm not going to sit and eat myemotions Not today.
You know what, jesus, when Ifeel like eating a cookie, today
, I am going to read adevotional.
I'm doing it today.
(19:29):
What am I doing?
I'm standing at the cabinetlooking for another cookie.
It seems silly, but y'all, thisis how my mind works.
I lay all of those things athis feet and I turn right back
around and pick them up everysingle day, but then every
single day he's right there,grace and mercy.
Every single day I'm startingall over again and he never says
(19:52):
you know what you failed.
Again, it's over, it's over foryou.
Steph (19:56):
He never says that you know what you failed.
Again it's over.
It's over for you.
He never says that.
Jess (19:59):
Every day that he gives me breath in my lungs, I have a
chance to start over again, andso I'm so thankful for that.
So during the season, I'm justrenewal, renewal, renewal,
refresh, refresh, refresh, andso I'm so thankful for that
opportunity and I try my bestnot to squander it.
Sometimes I do, because everyMonday I'm trying all over again
(20:24):
.
But I'm so thankful that youknow that I have this chance,
and so that's where my mind isduring this season.
I'm just praying that you know,if you're listening, if you're
not already in that mindset thatyou'll be thinking about what
you can refresh and renew, oryou'll be thinking about that
(20:46):
situation in your life that justseems completely dead, whether
it's a relationship, whetherit's that book you started you
thought, hey, I want to write abook this year and you started
writing it.
And then you have all yournotes on a shelf and you're just
like you know what?
I'm no good.
That is a lie straight fromSatan.
You pick that book up.
(21:07):
If there's a project youthought was dead, you've been
wanting to do it and the enemytold you that you can't do that
project.
You know what?
You let Jesus breathe new lifeinto that project and you start
that project, Whatever situationthat you feel like needs to be
refreshed, I pray that you'lljust pray over it and let this
(21:29):
be the season for you.
This is your time.
This is your season For such atime as this.
I was going to look up thatother verse, but I like that
verse better.
Steph (21:41):
Can't give you the address.
Jess (21:47):
Find hope and inspiration with Jess's Daily Devotion.
Steph (21:51):
Check out jessdailydevocom or search
Jess's Daily Devotion whereveryou listen to podcasts.
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