September 29, 2025 • 25 mins
The snap, crackle, and pop of aging joints might not be what we expected in our forties, but as we navigate this season of life, we're finding both humor and wisdom in the journey.
Jess opens up about her recent knee replacement surgery and the humbling experience of buying a raised toilet seat and walking with a cane before she hit 50. Meanwhile, Steph shares her transition to progressive lenses and how her once-perfect vision took a sudden nosedive after 40. Together, we laugh about bodies that make Rice Krispies sounds when we stand up and how our children are both mortified and fascinated by these new developments.
But amid the physical challenges, we're discovering unexpected gifts. Our conversations with our Gen Z children have revealed important lessons about work-life balance and setting healthy boundaries—concepts our generation wasn't always taught to prioritize. We're learning to honor our limitations, like recognizing when our "social battery" is depleted or acknowledging that sometimes, when the sun goes down at 5 PM, we're just done for the day.
We take a nostalgic trip through technologies that have faded away, from encyclopedias sold door-to-door to mix tapes and AOL's iconic "You've got mail." These shared memories connect us to our past while reminding us how much we've adapted through the years.
While aging isn't always graceful (and certainly isn't for the weak), we're embracing this season with gratitude, perspective, and plenty of laughter. After all, what's the alternative? Join us for this honest, heartfelt conversation about finding joy in life's changing seasons.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jess (00:02):
Hey, welcome back, or welcome to the Jesus Fix it
podcast, the show where we talkabout life, the ups, the downs,
a little pop culture andeverything in between.
Steph (00:12):
I'm Jess and I'm Steph.
Every other week we dive intothe things we're asking Jesus to
fix.
And let's be real, there's alot.
You can always count on us tokeep it real.
Jess (00:24):
Share some laughs with us and maybe a few tears, as we
tackle the big and small stuffwith faith and honesty.
So grab your coffee and let'sget into it.
For everything there is aseason and a time for every
matter under heaven.
Steph (00:39):
Happy fall and gray hairs .
See why do you have to to ruinit?
I wasn't ruining it, aginggracefully.
Jess (00:48):
season changes we wanted to start off on a positive note
okay, that is positive.
There are some people who don'tmind gray hair.
Uh huh, I'm not one of them.
I am just gonna say it my grayhair, I just don't like it.
Steph (01:05):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it is definitely biblical, because in
Proverbs 16, 31, it says grayhair is a crown of glory.
It is gained by living a godlylife.
Trying to make me feel bad?
Well, I have a lot of gray hair, so maybe I'm just putting
myself on a pedestal.
Jess (01:23):
Nobody has ever told me gray hair is biblical.
It is In Proverbs.
Welcome back to Jesus, fix it.
By the way, we are talkingabout, I guess, aging gracefully
and changing of new seasons,and I don't know, just talking
today.
Yeah, and I don't know, justtalking today.
Steph (01:44):
Well, we have some cool things coming up planned for
during this not just season offall, but like season of
transition and season of renewalFix it yeah.
That we're in.
Yeah, so you know, asmiddle-aged women, that we are
actually.
Technically, we're both alittle more than middle-aged.
Jess (02:05):
Okay, girl, take it easy.
Sorry, take it easy.
Okay, calm down.
Steph (02:11):
We're both in the middle of perimenopause, okay, and so
that's a conversation with someexperts that we're going to have
coming up at some point in theJesus Fix it season.
Jess (02:21):
Yes, we are.
Steph (02:22):
So, on that note, we're also talking about aging,
gracefully.
Jess (02:26):
Guys, you can stick around too.
Steph (02:28):
You will probably learn something that can be very
helpful, whether you're marriedor not.
Jess (02:32):
Yeah, and we're going to have some things coming up for
you too hopefully soon too.
But today we're talking aboutaging gracefully and some fun
things dealing with age.
But first of all, coming backfrom having knee surgery and all
the things when we talk aboutage, this is something I never
thought I'd have to go throughat almost 48 years old, and
(02:54):
nothing humbles you than havingto go online and buy yourself a
tall or one of those high-risetoilet seats.
There is nothing more humblingthan that, let me tell you.
And then also, I got one ofthose little cards through the
mail that says that when I gothrough metal detectors at the
(03:17):
airport, that I have metalinside my body.
That was also another humblingexperience.
What else?
I had a walker with little pinktennis balls on it.
I only had to push that aroundfor about a week or so.
So, yeah, totally, you have acane, I do have a cane.
Yeah, very humbling experience.
(03:39):
So getting older is definitelynot for the weak.
Steph (03:46):
Yeah, you could say for the W-E-E-K also, Every W-E-E-K
that goes by.
I am feeling that I mean I haveto and I do say have to, but it
is.
I honestly understand that thisis a privilege that I get.
Yes, is to go for a massage.
(04:09):
Oh, I thought you meant gettingold.
Jess (04:11):
Well, that too, that is a privilege.
That is a privilege.
Steph (04:13):
Yes, it really is but to help my muscles and just the way
that I was built, I hold somuch tense tensity, ten Tenacity
, nope, I'm just tense, I'm notgood with my words.
Jess (04:27):
Believe it or not, I know.
I do this for a living, sodon't ask me if that's the right
thing to say Same, but I do.
Steph (04:35):
I just hold a lot of tension.
That's what I was trying tocome up with.
Oh yeah, so, mom, brain, thebrain fog, the aging, and you
can't remember literally wordsas they're happening.
Yes, so where was I Gettingmassages?
Yes, yes.
So I don't remember where I wasgoing with that, but I go for
(04:56):
them and they are helpful for mybody as I'm aging and I've
noticed, if I go more than likea month without getting one I
mean y'all getting up in themorning, getting out of bed I
totally sound like somebody justdecided to get a bunch of those
lights that you have to crackto get them to light up.
Jess (05:15):
That's my body.
I always say my body soundslike cereal, the snap, crackle
and pop.
Steph (05:20):
You're Rice Krispie.
Jess (05:21):
Yeah, yeah.
I remember the first time mybody started sounding like that.
I was getting up from the couchand my son was so mortified
because he heard my bones popand he said Mom, what happened?
I said I just got up.
He said that's it.
I was like, yeah, just wait.
One day it's going to happen toyou too.
He was like, oh my word, how inthe world does that happen?
(05:45):
He was like, oh my word, how inthe world does that happen?
He still has no clue.
It's like just wait, all youhave to do is move.
One day it's going to happen.
Steph (05:51):
Stretch and your shoulder all of a sudden pops Right,
Like it just happens.
Jess (05:57):
I remember a couple of years ago when all of the aging
process started happening to me.
I say when it really got real,is I kid you not?
One week I went to the doctorand I got prescribed
(06:17):
progressives.
That was like on a Tuesday, andthen on a Thursday I had to go
to the doctor, and then that'swhen they told me I had
osteoarthritis.
That Friday I went to thedoctor and then something else
had happened with my back.
All of this was in one week.
Steph (06:31):
It's been one week.
Oh wait, never mind, yep, butthat'll aid you If you knew that
reference.
Well, yeah, you're in goodcompany.
Yep, it happens.
Speaking of your progressives,okay, so when I turned 40, I
started noticing my eyesighthaving some issues, always 20-20
.
Yes, I'm bragging about that.
Okay, well, I wear glasses nowand I didn't just go from no
(06:55):
glasses in 2020 to, you know,maybe, a reader.
Nope, I went straight intoprogressives.
Jess (07:01):
Oh, I know, oh see, mine was gradual.
Steph (07:03):
Yeah, no, well, that's what you get for bragging.
I know Exactly it really is.
And the doctor was just likeyeah, well, once you turn 40,
your eyesight really does startto go downhill.
I'm like you have to throw itat me like that.
Thanks, wow, just tell me howit really is.
Yeah, and now, a year later,after being into glasses, I'm
already into a new prescription.
It's really going downhill.
Jess (07:26):
It really is.
I try to look on the brightside, though.
All of these things that happento our bodies no, it is not fun
, but what's the alternative?
You know what I mean.
So I'm trying to think of thesethings as just little hurdles,
and it really is a blessing tooh, age.
Steph (07:48):
Well, with age, though, is a lot of wisdom yeah.
Jess (07:52):
I hope I have some wisdom to share.
Steph (07:55):
You raised two kids that are doing really well there is
some wisdom that had to be putin place there.
Jess (08:02):
They are kind of great.
I'm very proud of them.
I like to think I have a lot todo with that, but I'd like to
think that I am passing a littleknowledge on to them.
But I am trying to limit mycomplaining about age.
You know I'm human.
You know it's going to happen,the complaining, the grunts, the
(08:27):
moaning.
It's going to happen.
I'm human.
But again, what's thealternative?
You know what I'm saying so,but thankful to still be here.
Steph (08:40):
Yeah, I mean I do joke with my friends that are younger
than me or people that I knowthat are younger than me, like,
oh don't get old Zero out of 10,do not recommend Exactly.
Jess (08:50):
Yeah, don't get old zero out of 10, do not recommend
Exactly.
Steph (08:51):
Yeah, but again, with age does come life experiences.
You're able to take thatinformation, possibly instill it
on other people, help makedecisions, and if they respect
you and come to you for advice,I mean it does feel good.
(09:13):
But also that you've been ableto live through that, yeah, yeah
.
And now I will also fullyrecognize that some of the aches
and pains and the you know,strains and pops and whatever
that we're talking about canhappen to anybody at any point.
Yeah, you know, we just happento be in that little over the
middle age age and so we're verymuch living in it right now.
(09:35):
And that's why we are talkingabout it, because this is our
everyday right now.
Jess (09:39):
Right, and I have to admit this though I have become a
version of my mother.
I have found myself saying someof the things that she used to
say to me, or I've become thatperson who I try not to judge,
but I am that person who hasstarted to judge the younger
(10:01):
generation, and now I know thatI can learn a lot from the
younger generation and I try canlearn a lot from the younger
generation and I try, I do tryand I want to.
I want to learn because thisgeneration, oh, they know some
things.
I love some of the stuff, someof the things that I'm learning
(10:21):
from it's Gen Z, I think.
So, yes, gen Z, yeah, yeah,like they are good, yeah, I'm
learning some things.
I'm learning and there are somethings that I'm like okay calm
down.
I have two Gen Zs, so I can saythat, and we are learning a lot
(10:42):
from each other, and I love thatwhen there are some things that
I don't understand, I can callone of them up and say okay, son
, explain this to me.
Give me an example.
I'm trying to think.
I can't think of something offthe top of my head.
Most of the time it's terms andphrases.
Or, I have to admit, one of mysons is not heavy into some
(11:08):
political things, and one of mysons really is, and so he and I
will go back and forth overpolitical things, not
necessarily political things,but like trending topics.
We'll go back and forth aboutand, as you can imagine, the age
groups, our age gaps.
(11:28):
We have varying opinions, andso we'll go back and forth about
those.
I wish I could give you anexample.
I can't think of one right now,but I love to hear his
perspective and I love thathe'll actually listen to mine.
Oh, one thing I can tell youabout this, and if you've
listened to Jesus, Fix it before.
If you've listened to Jesus,fix it before.
(11:55):
One thing that both of my boyswe've gone back and forth about
is work ethic of Gen Z and workethic of Gen X.
Our generation is very muchwork hard, work hard, you get it
done.
And I'm not saying Gen Z is notwork hard, work hard, you work,
get it done.
And I'm not saying Gen Z is notwork hard, work hard.
But a lot of Gen Z is, you know, very strong and work-life
(12:18):
balance and you take breaks andyou, you know, do all the things
you know what I'm saying.
And so we've had very in-depthconversations about that.
Steph (12:27):
It's interesting.
I mean you know talking aboutthat specifically.
That it's interesting, I meanyou know talking about that
specifically.
There's so much research outthere that says our generation's
way of working is not healthy,right.
Jess (12:37):
Yeah, and we've discussed that and they've had some really
good points about that and I'veeven because you know I, my
parents, taught me that you workreally, really hard to get what
you want and to provide foryour family, even if that means,
you know you putting in thoseextra hours and that may mean
sometimes you don't get to spendas much time with your family,
(13:00):
but you know what you have toprovide for them and you know
that's just.
You know how I was raised andI'm sure you were too.
And I'm sure you were too, andtalking to my sons, they had
some very valid points and Iunderstand a lot of that wasn't
healthy, and I'm not saying thatyou shouldn't work hard and you
(13:23):
shouldn't provide for yourfamily, but I do see the
importance in hey, it is veryhealthy to take breaks.
It is very healthy to set someboundaries at work, Very, very
healthy.
And it really took me likesitting down and listening to my
sons like say hey, listen,there is a such thing as
(13:46):
work-life balance.
Because at first I was like allright, this is something y'all
making up, just so y'all don'thave to work hard.
Steph (13:52):
Right, yeah, but okay, yeah, I mean.
So you're coming back from beenoff for a couple of weeks with
your knee surgery, your kneereplacement surgery, how, like,
from taking that time off, areyou seeing that like there's a
different pace for you, gettingback into work and you know,
(14:12):
with the aging gracefully andapplying that information, that
knowledge that you get you'regetting from your sons, like,
what does that process look likefor you now?
Oh, I'm exhausted.
Jess (14:24):
I am exhausted, first of all from like I've only as of
recording today, from like I'veonly as of recording today I've
only been back in the stationfive days.
This is my fifth day back andI'm exhausted from not being in
that routine.
But I also see the importanceof setting some boundaries and
(14:44):
restrictions because, I'm goingto be honest, by day two I was
like already not honoring mydoctor's restrictions that he
set, and by day two I was like,by five o'clock in the afternoon
I felt like my body was justdone for the entire week by day
(15:08):
two.
So I do see the importance ofmaking sure you set those
boundaries, yeah.
Steph (15:16):
Well, good, but I do also feel like you should work hard,
exactly, and so it is.
It's a thing to try and thinkabout and like, as you're aging
and your body just can't handlethat kind.
It's so funny.
My husband, Mike, and I havethis conversation often because
he goes out and does a lot ofhard work, works in the yard,
loves working in the yard.
(15:37):
I hate it, so I'm so thankfulfor him.
I know you, but he'll come inand he's exhausted.
He's like I have to rememberI'm 44, not 24.
I'm 40 and he chanced that andit is, as we are getting older,
you think that I mean gosh, mybrain sometimes thinks that I'm
still in my late 20s.
That's the thing, Mm-hmm,Mm-hmm.
(15:58):
You know, sometimes my humor is12, you know?
But my body?
sure isn't, and so it's like,how do you manage that?
So it's like, how do you managethat?
Like my social battery.
I've noticed as I've gottenolder my social battery goes
down and so being out withpeople it's exciting.
(16:20):
I love connecting with people,but by the time that Like
especially if there's a timeframe put on it, at the end of
that time frame I'm done Exactly.
I mean, I can give you a very,very specific example In the
summertime I was with Mike andwe were in Pennsylvania and I
had a whole weekend ofactivities From a friend's play
(16:42):
seeing some friends that Ihadn't seen in a while, going to
dinner with a variety of people, then to a wedding reception
All of this just within aweekend.
I mean so many activities.
And then we went to visit hisfamily, so middle of the
Pennsylvania over to Pittsburgh,so three and a half hour drive.
When we got in the car and thiswas after the wedding reception
(17:02):
I was silent for like 45minutes.
He knew he didn't even have tolike question, he just knew.
And then he did say to me afterabout an hour or so he goes,
your battery's done and I saidyes.
He said put the seat back, hewas driving.
He's like take a nap, recharge.
(17:24):
He understands and I appreciatethat so much.
So, guys, if you're listening,listening you got a female in
your life and she's in thismiddle age time frame.
There's just so much going onin our bodies that we don't even
understand.
But if it's someone like mewho's always been so super
social and loves and thrives onthat, but then all of a sudden
just shuts down it's not thatI'm trying to be mean, we're not
(17:48):
trying to be rude physically,we just can't help it.
When you're done, you're justdone, you're done, yeah, yeah.
Jess (17:55):
That's why when, like, if I'm with my sister or my mom or
just my girlfriends, if weplanned a trip or something, I
don't want an itinerary, let'sjust make it organic, like don't
plan a whole bunch of stuff forus to do.
Maybe have an idea of something.
Steph (18:15):
We have an idea.
Jess (18:15):
Yeah, yeah, because my battery is going to get drained.
You know what I mean.
Let's just see what happens.
I don't want to plan a wholebunch of stuff, especially if
it's supposed to be a relaxingtype of situation and also if
somebody can't.
I'm at the stage in my life ifyou cancel plans, or if you have
to cancel plans, it's okay, yep.
Steph (18:37):
Yep, you get home from work, you get yourself comfy.
Don't expect me to go out again.
Oh my gosh, like we're hostinga small group at our house, and
that was a purposeful decisionbecause once it's dark, the sun
goes down Stephanie's down, yeah, it's that season.
It is that season I don't wantto leave the house.
(18:57):
And so we are purposefully madethat intentional decision to
host at our house because thatforces me to be social and to
have small group community,which is so important, and I'm
so, so, so thankful that we cando that.
But it was a conscious decisionfor multiple reasons, and one
of them was because once I'mhome and it's dark out, mike
(19:21):
laughs at me so hard that it'slike I don't want to go out, and
it's five o'clock because thesun's down.
Like I don't.
I love being with people.
Jess (19:29):
I love being out with people I love doing things, but
it's just you reach a point.
When you're done, you're done.
Steph (19:35):
Yeah, I call myself an extroverted introvert yeah,
there's some kind of new phraseout there like ambivert or
something, not ambivert, butlike I don't even know it is
something like that.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
That's me.
Steph (19:47):
Yeah, it's fancy yeah, you know, and it's somebody who
is that an introvert but also anextrovert, okay, yeah we'll
take that.
Jess (19:56):
I probably should look it up first before I just call
myself something.
Well, you know, make sure it'sappropriate.
I'm trusting you right now.
Thank you, I appreciate that?
Steph (20:09):
How about?
Since we're talking about aginggracefully, we talk about some
things that may or may not haveaged so gracefully in our worlds
.
Okay, have you ever sent a fax?
Of course you get a point.
Oh, is this a?
Jess (20:25):
game we're playing now.
Okay.
Steph (20:28):
Used a typewriter.
Yeah, I took a whole typingclass, remember you used to have
we're playing now.
Jess (20:30):
Okay, oh, okay.
You used to typewriter.
Yeah, I took a whole typingclass, remember?
You used to have to do that inhigh school.
Did you ever have to do that inyour high school?
Steph (20:39):
Oh, typing classes.
But we had computers.
Oh yeah, we didn't havetypewriters.
Jess (20:43):
Oh I forget, I'm a few years older than you, it's so
funny because we are actuallydifferent generations.
Steph (20:47):
You are truly an ex.
I am a geriatric millennial.
Oh, Because I am the very firstyear of millennials.
Oh well, I am.
Jess (20:55):
Okay.
Steph (20:55):
Yeah.
Jess (20:56):
I'm an actual gen Xer, but there's so much of my
generation.
Steph (21:00):
Being the geriatric one, you could do a crossover
situation.
I definitely crossover, yeah.
Jess (21:05):
Well, okay, well, yes, I actually had to take a typing
class on an actual typewriter,and when I was in high school,
we actually called it homeeconomics.
Steph (21:15):
Oh, I remember home ec.
Jess (21:17):
Yeah, we had to learn how to sew Yep embroider and cook.
Steph (21:23):
Yes, we had to do all the things.
I enjoyed home ec, but that'sbecause it was more on the
crafty side of things for us.
Jess (21:30):
You know I don't like crafts.
You guys should see Justin'sface right now.
Steph (21:36):
Anyway, moving on, yes, okay, have you ever had a CD
collection?
Yeah, do you still?
Jess (21:41):
Do you still?
I do.
It's actually I think I havepart of it in the trunk of my
car.
I don't even know why.
I think because when I switchedcars I just moved it into the
trunk of my current car, becauseI don't have a CD player in my
current car, but the CDs are inthere.
Steph (21:57):
Okay yeah.
How about making a mixtape?
Jess (22:01):
Yes, oh my goodness, yep, just waiting for the DJs to stop
talking.
Yes, yes, yes, so I couldunpause.
Yeah, the dual player.
Steph (22:17):
Yes, oh my gosh.
Okay, now here's one.
How about have you ever playedan Atari?
Yes, I had an Atari.
Yes, I was in the nextgeneration, so we had the
original.
We still have Mike and I stillplay on our original Nintendo
system.
Okay, mario Brothers.
Yes, I was in the nextgeneration, so we had the
original.
We still have Mike and I stillplay on our original Nintendo
system.
Jess (22:33):
Okay, mario Brothers, yes, oh, okay, yes, super.
Steph (22:36):
Mario.
Now, this one's a bit of athrowback.
A little more Okay, used arecord player.
Jess (22:43):
Yes, okay, my mom still has all of her records.
She had so many records.
I think her collection probablyin the hundreds.
Yeah, so many records.
Steph (22:56):
Yep, that's really cool.
Jess (22:58):
We were introduced to every genre of music because of
my mom's record collection.
As a matter of fact, I almostdidn't like records because
that's how we cleaned up onSaturday morning.
Oh no, it was a game until wefigured out what she was doing,
because every Saturday werotated who got to pick a record
(23:21):
and that was our music to cleanup to.
Okay, it's your turn to pickwhich record we listen to to
clean.
And then we were like wait aminute, hold up, you're making
it seem to to clean.
And then we were like wait aminute, hold up, you're making
it seem fun to clean.
This isn't fun just because weget to pick the music, but
anyway.
Steph (23:39):
All right, how about?
This will be the last one I'llask you.
Okay, did you have at yourhouse an encyclopedia?
Jess (23:45):
We had a whole, a whole Box set.
Yes, a whole set.
I think my mom still has themyes, now did she.
Steph (23:55):
Okay, I said that was the last question, but this is a
follow-up to that same question.
She buy it from somebody whocame door-to-door, I think.
So, yeah, like legit.
If you didn't know, that was athing.
People sold encyclopedias bygoing door to door.
That's how we got our vacuumcleaner as well.
Boom.
Jess (24:14):
Yes.
Steph (24:15):
And our Tupperware.
Oh man, the good old TupperwareOlive green or avocado green,
that is mustard colors.
Jess (24:22):
That is how we got our encyclopedias.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
And.
Jess (24:26):
I remember I could not stand that.
I think it was some dude thatcame to our door.
Because I could not stand thatman for the longest time?
Because every time I asked mymom about something, she
referred us to the encyclopedia.
We had to look it up.
Steph (24:43):
Love it.
Jess (24:45):
No, kids, we did not have cell phones that told us
everything.
Steph (24:49):
No, we did not have cell phones that told us everything.
No, we did not have AOL thattold us everything.
Actually, speaking of AOL,after 34 years, that dial is
finally hanging up.
It's a wrap.
It's a wrap, yeah, I mean, theydid away with the AOL emails a
while ago.
You've got mail, yeah, oh, butthat movie One of the best
Speaking of fall and seasons itis that's like.
(25:12):
That's like the end of an era.
Yeah, I know, yeah oh, okay.
Jess (25:17):
Well, I guess we've talked long enough today.
Anything you want jesus to?
Steph (25:21):
fix, uh, the aches and pains.
Yes, like seriously, I jokeabout that, but seriously it is
very difficult sometimes to getout of bed when you've got some
of these aches and pains, andyou and I fully recognize it.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Yes, Laughter with good friends, no matter how
bumpy the road gets.
That's what's waiting for youwith every episode of another
great podcast, quirks, bumps andbruises With Melody and Candy.
Subscribe today, wherever youlisten.
Hey, welcome back, or welcome to the Jesus Fix it
podcast, the show where we talkabout life, the ups, the downs,
a little pop culture andeverything in between.
Steph (00:12):
I'm Jess and I'm Steph.
Every other week we dive intothe things we're asking Jesus to
fix.
And let's be real, there's alot.
You can always count on us tokeep it real.
Jess (00:24):
Share some laughs with us and maybe a few tears, as we
tackle the big and small stuffwith faith and honesty.
So grab your coffee and let'sget into it.
For everything there is aseason and a time for every
matter under heaven.
Steph (00:39):
Happy fall and gray hairs .
See why do you have to to ruinit?
I wasn't ruining it, aginggracefully.
Jess (00:48):
season changes we wanted to start off on a positive note
okay, that is positive.
There are some people who don'tmind gray hair.
Uh huh, I'm not one of them.
I am just gonna say it my grayhair, I just don't like it.
Steph (01:05):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it is definitely biblical, because in
Proverbs 16, 31, it says grayhair is a crown of glory.
It is gained by living a godlylife.
Trying to make me feel bad?
Well, I have a lot of gray hair, so maybe I'm just putting
myself on a pedestal.
Jess (01:23):
Nobody has ever told me gray hair is biblical.
It is In Proverbs.
Welcome back to Jesus, fix it.
By the way, we are talkingabout, I guess, aging gracefully
and changing of new seasons,and I don't know, just talking
today.
Yeah, and I don't know, justtalking today.
Steph (01:44):
Well, we have some cool things coming up planned for
during this not just season offall, but like season of
transition and season of renewalFix it yeah.
That we're in.
Yeah, so you know, asmiddle-aged women, that we are
actually.
Technically, we're both alittle more than middle-aged.
Jess (02:05):
Okay, girl, take it easy.
Sorry, take it easy.
Okay, calm down.
Steph (02:11):
We're both in the middle of perimenopause, okay, and so
that's a conversation with someexperts that we're going to have
coming up at some point in theJesus Fix it season.
Jess (02:21):
Yes, we are.
Steph (02:22):
So, on that note, we're also talking about aging,
gracefully.
Jess (02:26):
Guys, you can stick around too.
Steph (02:28):
You will probably learn something that can be very
helpful, whether you're marriedor not.
Jess (02:32):
Yeah, and we're going to have some things coming up for
you too hopefully soon too.
But today we're talking aboutaging gracefully and some fun
things dealing with age.
But first of all, coming backfrom having knee surgery and all
the things when we talk aboutage, this is something I never
thought I'd have to go throughat almost 48 years old, and
(02:54):
nothing humbles you than havingto go online and buy yourself a
tall or one of those high-risetoilet seats.
There is nothing more humblingthan that, let me tell you.
And then also, I got one ofthose little cards through the
mail that says that when I gothrough metal detectors at the
(03:17):
airport, that I have metalinside my body.
That was also another humblingexperience.
What else?
I had a walker with little pinktennis balls on it.
I only had to push that aroundfor about a week or so.
So, yeah, totally, you have acane, I do have a cane.
Yeah, very humbling experience.
(03:39):
So getting older is definitelynot for the weak.
Steph (03:46):
Yeah, you could say for the W-E-E-K also, Every W-E-E-K
that goes by.
I am feeling that I mean I haveto and I do say have to, but it
is.
I honestly understand that thisis a privilege that I get.
Yes, is to go for a massage.
(04:09):
Oh, I thought you meant gettingold.
Jess (04:11):
Well, that too, that is a privilege.
That is a privilege.
Steph (04:13):
Yes, it really is but to help my muscles and just the way
that I was built, I hold somuch tense tensity, ten Tenacity
, nope, I'm just tense, I'm notgood with my words.
Jess (04:27):
Believe it or not, I know.
I do this for a living, sodon't ask me if that's the right
thing to say Same, but I do.
Steph (04:35):
I just hold a lot of tension.
That's what I was trying tocome up with.
Oh yeah, so, mom, brain, thebrain fog, the aging, and you
can't remember literally wordsas they're happening.
Yes, so where was I Gettingmassages?
Yes, yes.
So I don't remember where I wasgoing with that, but I go for
(04:56):
them and they are helpful for mybody as I'm aging and I've
noticed, if I go more than likea month without getting one I
mean y'all getting up in themorning, getting out of bed I
totally sound like somebody justdecided to get a bunch of those
lights that you have to crackto get them to light up.
Jess (05:15):
That's my body.
I always say my body soundslike cereal, the snap, crackle
and pop.
Steph (05:20):
You're Rice Krispie.
Jess (05:21):
Yeah, yeah.
I remember the first time mybody started sounding like that.
I was getting up from the couchand my son was so mortified
because he heard my bones popand he said Mom, what happened?
I said I just got up.
He said that's it.
I was like, yeah, just wait.
One day it's going to happen toyou too.
He was like, oh my word, how inthe world does that happen?
(05:45):
He was like, oh my word, how inthe world does that happen?
He still has no clue.
It's like just wait, all youhave to do is move.
One day it's going to happen.
Steph (05:51):
Stretch and your shoulder all of a sudden pops Right,
Like it just happens.
Jess (05:57):
I remember a couple of years ago when all of the aging
process started happening to me.
I say when it really got real,is I kid you not?
One week I went to the doctorand I got prescribed
(06:17):
progressives.
That was like on a Tuesday, andthen on a Thursday I had to go
to the doctor, and then that'swhen they told me I had
osteoarthritis.
That Friday I went to thedoctor and then something else
had happened with my back.
All of this was in one week.
Steph (06:31):
It's been one week.
Oh wait, never mind, yep, butthat'll aid you If you knew that
reference.
Well, yeah, you're in goodcompany.
Yep, it happens.
Speaking of your progressives,okay, so when I turned 40, I
started noticing my eyesighthaving some issues, always 20-20
.
Yes, I'm bragging about that.
Okay, well, I wear glasses nowand I didn't just go from no
(06:55):
glasses in 2020 to, you know,maybe, a reader.
Nope, I went straight intoprogressives.
Jess (07:01):
Oh, I know, oh see, mine was gradual.
Steph (07:03):
Yeah, no, well, that's what you get for bragging.
I know Exactly it really is.
And the doctor was just likeyeah, well, once you turn 40,
your eyesight really does startto go downhill.
I'm like you have to throw itat me like that.
Thanks, wow, just tell me howit really is.
Yeah, and now, a year later,after being into glasses, I'm
already into a new prescription.
It's really going downhill.
Jess (07:26):
It really is.
I try to look on the brightside, though.
All of these things that happento our bodies no, it is not fun
, but what's the alternative?
You know what I mean.
So I'm trying to think of thesethings as just little hurdles,
and it really is a blessing tooh, age.
Steph (07:48):
Well, with age, though, is a lot of wisdom yeah.
Jess (07:52):
I hope I have some wisdom to share.
Steph (07:55):
You raised two kids that are doing really well there is
some wisdom that had to be putin place there.
Jess (08:02):
They are kind of great.
I'm very proud of them.
I like to think I have a lot todo with that, but I'd like to
think that I am passing a littleknowledge on to them.
But I am trying to limit mycomplaining about age.
You know I'm human.
You know it's going to happen,the complaining, the grunts, the
(08:27):
moaning.
It's going to happen.
I'm human.
But again, what's thealternative?
You know what I'm saying so,but thankful to still be here.
Steph (08:40):
Yeah, I mean I do joke with my friends that are younger
than me or people that I knowthat are younger than me, like,
oh don't get old Zero out of 10,do not recommend Exactly.
Jess (08:50):
Yeah, don't get old zero out of 10, do not recommend
Exactly.
Steph (08:51):
Yeah, but again, with age does come life experiences.
You're able to take thatinformation, possibly instill it
on other people, help makedecisions, and if they respect
you and come to you for advice,I mean it does feel good.
(09:13):
But also that you've been ableto live through that, yeah, yeah
.
And now I will also fullyrecognize that some of the aches
and pains and the you know,strains and pops and whatever
that we're talking about canhappen to anybody at any point.
Yeah, you know, we just happento be in that little over the
middle age age and so we're verymuch living in it right now.
(09:35):
And that's why we are talkingabout it, because this is our
everyday right now.
Jess (09:39):
Right, and I have to admit this though I have become a
version of my mother.
I have found myself saying someof the things that she used to
say to me, or I've become thatperson who I try not to judge,
but I am that person who hasstarted to judge the younger
(10:01):
generation, and now I know thatI can learn a lot from the
younger generation and I try canlearn a lot from the younger
generation and I try, I do tryand I want to.
I want to learn because thisgeneration, oh, they know some
things.
I love some of the stuff, someof the things that I'm learning
(10:21):
from it's Gen Z, I think.
So, yes, gen Z, yeah, yeah,like they are good, yeah, I'm
learning some things.
I'm learning and there are somethings that I'm like okay calm
down.
I have two Gen Zs, so I can saythat, and we are learning a lot
(10:42):
from each other, and I love thatwhen there are some things that
I don't understand, I can callone of them up and say okay, son
, explain this to me.
Give me an example.
I'm trying to think.
I can't think of something offthe top of my head.
Most of the time it's terms andphrases.
Or, I have to admit, one of mysons is not heavy into some
(11:08):
political things, and one of mysons really is, and so he and I
will go back and forth overpolitical things, not
necessarily political things,but like trending topics.
We'll go back and forth aboutand, as you can imagine, the age
groups, our age gaps.
(11:28):
We have varying opinions, andso we'll go back and forth about
those.
I wish I could give you anexample.
I can't think of one right now,but I love to hear his
perspective and I love thathe'll actually listen to mine.
Oh, one thing I can tell youabout this, and if you've
listened to Jesus, Fix it before.
If you've listened to Jesus,fix it before.
(11:55):
One thing that both of my boyswe've gone back and forth about
is work ethic of Gen Z and workethic of Gen X.
Our generation is very muchwork hard, work hard, you get it
done.
And I'm not saying Gen Z is notwork hard, work hard, you work,
get it done.
And I'm not saying Gen Z is notwork hard, work hard.
But a lot of Gen Z is, you know, very strong and work-life
(12:18):
balance and you take breaks andyou, you know, do all the things
you know what I'm saying.
And so we've had very in-depthconversations about that.
Steph (12:27):
It's interesting.
I mean you know talking aboutthat specifically.
That it's interesting, I meanyou know talking about that
specifically.
There's so much research outthere that says our generation's
way of working is not healthy,right.
Jess (12:37):
Yeah, and we've discussed that and they've had some really
good points about that and I'veeven because you know I, my
parents, taught me that you workreally, really hard to get what
you want and to provide foryour family, even if that means,
you know you putting in thoseextra hours and that may mean
sometimes you don't get to spendas much time with your family,
(13:00):
but you know what you have toprovide for them and you know
that's just.
You know how I was raised andI'm sure you were too.
And I'm sure you were too, andtalking to my sons, they had
some very valid points and Iunderstand a lot of that wasn't
healthy, and I'm not saying thatyou shouldn't work hard and you
(13:23):
shouldn't provide for yourfamily, but I do see the
importance in hey, it is veryhealthy to take breaks.
It is very healthy to set someboundaries at work, Very, very
healthy.
And it really took me likesitting down and listening to my
sons like say hey, listen,there is a such thing as
(13:46):
work-life balance.
Because at first I was like allright, this is something y'all
making up, just so y'all don'thave to work hard.
Steph (13:52):
Right, yeah, but okay, yeah, I mean.
So you're coming back from beenoff for a couple of weeks with
your knee surgery, your kneereplacement surgery, how, like,
from taking that time off, areyou seeing that like there's a
different pace for you, gettingback into work and you know,
(14:12):
with the aging gracefully andapplying that information, that
knowledge that you get you'regetting from your sons, like,
what does that process look likefor you now?
Oh, I'm exhausted.
Jess (14:24):
I am exhausted, first of all from like I've only as of
recording today, from like I'veonly as of recording today I've
only been back in the stationfive days.
This is my fifth day back andI'm exhausted from not being in
that routine.
But I also see the importanceof setting some boundaries and
(14:44):
restrictions because, I'm goingto be honest, by day two I was
like already not honoring mydoctor's restrictions that he
set, and by day two I was like,by five o'clock in the afternoon
I felt like my body was justdone for the entire week by day
(15:08):
two.
So I do see the importance ofmaking sure you set those
boundaries, yeah.
Steph (15:16):
Well, good, but I do also feel like you should work hard,
exactly, and so it is.
It's a thing to try and thinkabout and like, as you're aging
and your body just can't handlethat kind.
It's so funny.
My husband, Mike, and I havethis conversation often because
he goes out and does a lot ofhard work, works in the yard,
loves working in the yard.
(15:37):
I hate it, so I'm so thankfulfor him.
I know you, but he'll come inand he's exhausted.
He's like I have to rememberI'm 44, not 24.
I'm 40 and he chanced that andit is, as we are getting older,
you think that I mean gosh, mybrain sometimes thinks that I'm
still in my late 20s.
That's the thing, Mm-hmm,Mm-hmm.
(15:58):
You know, sometimes my humor is12, you know?
But my body?
sure isn't, and so it's like,how do you manage that?
So it's like, how do you managethat?
Like my social battery.
I've noticed as I've gottenolder my social battery goes
down and so being out withpeople it's exciting.
(16:20):
I love connecting with people,but by the time that Like
especially if there's a timeframe put on it, at the end of
that time frame I'm done Exactly.
I mean, I can give you a very,very specific example In the
summertime I was with Mike andwe were in Pennsylvania and I
had a whole weekend ofactivities From a friend's play
(16:42):
seeing some friends that Ihadn't seen in a while, going to
dinner with a variety of people, then to a wedding reception
All of this just within aweekend.
I mean so many activities.
And then we went to visit hisfamily, so middle of the
Pennsylvania over to Pittsburgh,so three and a half hour drive.
When we got in the car and thiswas after the wedding reception
(17:02):
I was silent for like 45minutes.
He knew he didn't even have tolike question, he just knew.
And then he did say to me afterabout an hour or so he goes,
your battery's done and I saidyes.
He said put the seat back, hewas driving.
He's like take a nap, recharge.
(17:24):
He understands and I appreciatethat so much.
So, guys, if you're listening,listening you got a female in
your life and she's in thismiddle age time frame.
There's just so much going onin our bodies that we don't even
understand.
But if it's someone like mewho's always been so super
social and loves and thrives onthat, but then all of a sudden
just shuts down it's not thatI'm trying to be mean, we're not
(17:48):
trying to be rude physically,we just can't help it.
When you're done, you're justdone, you're done, yeah, yeah.
Jess (17:55):
That's why when, like, if I'm with my sister or my mom or
just my girlfriends, if weplanned a trip or something, I
don't want an itinerary, let'sjust make it organic, like don't
plan a whole bunch of stuff forus to do.
Maybe have an idea of something.
Steph (18:15):
We have an idea.
Jess (18:15):
Yeah, yeah, because my battery is going to get drained.
You know what I mean.
Let's just see what happens.
I don't want to plan a wholebunch of stuff, especially if
it's supposed to be a relaxingtype of situation and also if
somebody can't.
I'm at the stage in my life ifyou cancel plans, or if you have
to cancel plans, it's okay, yep.
Steph (18:37):
Yep, you get home from work, you get yourself comfy.
Don't expect me to go out again.
Oh my gosh, like we're hostinga small group at our house, and
that was a purposeful decisionbecause once it's dark, the sun
goes down Stephanie's down, yeah, it's that season.
It is that season I don't wantto leave the house.
(18:57):
And so we are purposefully madethat intentional decision to
host at our house because thatforces me to be social and to
have small group community,which is so important, and I'm
so, so, so thankful that we cando that.
But it was a conscious decisionfor multiple reasons, and one
of them was because once I'mhome and it's dark out, mike
(19:21):
laughs at me so hard that it'slike I don't want to go out, and
it's five o'clock because thesun's down.
Like I don't.
I love being with people.
Jess (19:29):
I love being out with people I love doing things, but
it's just you reach a point.
When you're done, you're done.
Steph (19:35):
Yeah, I call myself an extroverted introvert yeah,
there's some kind of new phraseout there like ambivert or
something, not ambivert, butlike I don't even know it is
something like that.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
That's me.
Steph (19:47):
Yeah, it's fancy yeah, you know, and it's somebody who
is that an introvert but also anextrovert, okay, yeah we'll
take that.
Jess (19:56):
I probably should look it up first before I just call
myself something.
Well, you know, make sure it'sappropriate.
I'm trusting you right now.
Thank you, I appreciate that?
Steph (20:09):
How about?
Since we're talking about aginggracefully, we talk about some
things that may or may not haveaged so gracefully in our worlds
.
Okay, have you ever sent a fax?
Of course you get a point.
Oh, is this a?
Jess (20:25):
game we're playing now.
Okay.
Steph (20:28):
Used a typewriter.
Yeah, I took a whole typingclass, remember you used to have
we're playing now.
Jess (20:30):
Okay, oh, okay.
You used to typewriter.
Yeah, I took a whole typingclass, remember?
You used to have to do that inhigh school.
Did you ever have to do that inyour high school?
Steph (20:39):
Oh, typing classes.
But we had computers.
Oh yeah, we didn't havetypewriters.
Jess (20:43):
Oh I forget, I'm a few years older than you, it's so
funny because we are actuallydifferent generations.
Steph (20:47):
You are truly an ex.
I am a geriatric millennial.
Oh, Because I am the very firstyear of millennials.
Oh well, I am.
Jess (20:55):
Okay.
Steph (20:55):
Yeah.
Jess (20:56):
I'm an actual gen Xer, but there's so much of my
generation.
Steph (21:00):
Being the geriatric one, you could do a crossover
situation.
I definitely crossover, yeah.
Jess (21:05):
Well, okay, well, yes, I actually had to take a typing
class on an actual typewriter,and when I was in high school,
we actually called it homeeconomics.
Steph (21:15):
Oh, I remember home ec.
Jess (21:17):
Yeah, we had to learn how to sew Yep embroider and cook.
Steph (21:23):
Yes, we had to do all the things.
I enjoyed home ec, but that'sbecause it was more on the
crafty side of things for us.
Jess (21:30):
You know I don't like crafts.
You guys should see Justin'sface right now.
Steph (21:36):
Anyway, moving on, yes, okay, have you ever had a CD
collection?
Yeah, do you still?
Jess (21:41):
Do you still?
I do.
It's actually I think I havepart of it in the trunk of my
car.
I don't even know why.
I think because when I switchedcars I just moved it into the
trunk of my current car, becauseI don't have a CD player in my
current car, but the CDs are inthere.
Steph (21:57):
Okay yeah.
How about making a mixtape?
Jess (22:01):
Yes, oh my goodness, yep, just waiting for the DJs to stop
talking.
Yes, yes, yes, so I couldunpause.
Yeah, the dual player.
Steph (22:17):
Yes, oh my gosh.
Okay, now here's one.
How about have you ever playedan Atari?
Yes, I had an Atari.
Yes, I was in the nextgeneration, so we had the
original.
We still have Mike and I stillplay on our original Nintendo
system.
Okay, mario Brothers.
Yes, I was in the nextgeneration, so we had the
original.
We still have Mike and I stillplay on our original Nintendo
system.
Jess (22:33):
Okay, mario Brothers, yes, oh, okay, yes, super.
Steph (22:36):
Mario.
Now, this one's a bit of athrowback.
A little more Okay, used arecord player.
Jess (22:43):
Yes, okay, my mom still has all of her records.
She had so many records.
I think her collection probablyin the hundreds.
Yeah, so many records.
Steph (22:56):
Yep, that's really cool.
Jess (22:58):
We were introduced to every genre of music because of
my mom's record collection.
As a matter of fact, I almostdidn't like records because
that's how we cleaned up onSaturday morning.
Oh no, it was a game until wefigured out what she was doing,
because every Saturday werotated who got to pick a record
(23:21):
and that was our music to cleanup to.
Okay, it's your turn to pickwhich record we listen to to
clean.
And then we were like wait aminute, hold up, you're making
it seem to to clean.
And then we were like wait aminute, hold up, you're making
it seem fun to clean.
This isn't fun just because weget to pick the music, but
anyway.
Steph (23:39):
All right, how about?
This will be the last one I'llask you.
Okay, did you have at yourhouse an encyclopedia?
Jess (23:45):
We had a whole, a whole Box set.
Yes, a whole set.
I think my mom still has themyes, now did she.
Steph (23:55):
Okay, I said that was the last question, but this is a
follow-up to that same question.
She buy it from somebody whocame door-to-door, I think.
So, yeah, like legit.
If you didn't know, that was athing.
People sold encyclopedias bygoing door to door.
That's how we got our vacuumcleaner as well.
Boom.
Jess (24:14):
Yes.
Steph (24:15):
And our Tupperware.
Oh man, the good old TupperwareOlive green or avocado green,
that is mustard colors.
Jess (24:22):
That is how we got our encyclopedias.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
And.
Jess (24:26):
I remember I could not stand that.
I think it was some dude thatcame to our door.
Because I could not stand thatman for the longest time?
Because every time I asked mymom about something, she
referred us to the encyclopedia.
We had to look it up.
Steph (24:43):
Love it.
Jess (24:45):
No, kids, we did not have cell phones that told us
everything.
Steph (24:49):
No, we did not have cell phones that told us everything.
No, we did not have AOL thattold us everything.
Actually, speaking of AOL,after 34 years, that dial is
finally hanging up.
It's a wrap.
It's a wrap, yeah, I mean, theydid away with the AOL emails a
while ago.
You've got mail, yeah, oh, butthat movie One of the best
Speaking of fall and seasons itis that's like.
(25:12):
That's like the end of an era.
Yeah, I know, yeah oh, okay.
Jess (25:17):
Well, I guess we've talked long enough today.
Anything you want jesus to?
Steph (25:21):
fix, uh, the aches and pains.
Yes, like seriously, I jokeabout that, but seriously it is
very difficult sometimes to getout of bed when you've got some
of these aches and pains, andyou and I fully recognize it.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Yes, Laughter with good friends, no matter how
bumpy the road gets.
That's what's waiting for youwith every episode of another
great podcast, quirks, bumps andbruises With Melody and Candy.
Subscribe today, wherever youlisten.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!