May 26, 2025 • 18 mins
Your mental health matters to God. This raw, heartfelt conversation peels back the layers of shame and stigma that often prevent Christians from seeking the help they desperately need.
Jess courageously shares her darkest moments as a newly divorced single mom—days spent hiding under covers, barely functioning, believing her depression was simply something to "get over." The turning point came through a song on Spirit FM that reminded her she was redeemed and deserving of more than endless days of despair. When she finally sought help, her pastor's affirming words—"Jesus and therapy go hand in hand"—opened the door to a decade-long healing journey.
Steph adds her perspective as someone who needed therapy to process sexual abuse trauma, highlighting how professional help enabled her to work through forgiveness and understand that her experience didn't diminish her worth. Together, they explore how biblical figures like Elijah, David, and even Jesus himself experienced profound emotional distress, proving that mental health struggles aren't evidence of spiritual failure.
Whether you're struggling yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers permission to embrace all the resources God provides for mental wellness. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that loving Jesus and seeing a therapist can absolutely go hand in hand.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jess (00:03):
Hey, welcome back, or welcome to the Jesus Fix it
podcast, the show where we talkabout life, the ups, the downs,
a little pop culture andeverything in between.
I'm Jess and I'm Steph.
Steph (00:15):
Every other week we dive into the things we're asking
Jesus to fix.
And let's be real, there's alot.
You can always count on us tokeep it real.
Jess (00:24):
Share some laughs with us, and maybe a few tears, as we
tackle the big and small stuffwith faith and honesty.
So grab your coffee and let'sget into it.
There are so many things tocelebrate during this time of
year.
Okay, you have moms,graduations, proms, summer Is it
summer?
Steph (00:43):
yet no, summer is June officially Okay, but the warm
weather for people like you,shade, yes.
Jess (00:55):
I love warm weather.
I love summer.
The person I'm sitting acrossfrom not at all Okay.
So so many things to celebratein May.
And another thing that you cancelebrate is taking care of your
mental health.
Oh, so important my mentalhealth.
(01:20):
I really I don't think I knewthat it was really a priority.
Or maybe I thought that if Iaddressed my mental health, I
was less spiritual or something.
I think that's kind of what Ithought the stigma was.
Okay, let me just give you alittle backstory about how my
(01:40):
mental health decline started.
I was a newly divorced singlemom and this is pretty much how
my days were before I startedworking at Spirit, which was
almost 11 or so years ago.
Wow, that's crazy to think.
But what I would do is rollmyself out of bed still in my
(02:05):
pajamas, take my kids to school.
I would muster up enough energyto care about what they were
eating for breakfast and, justto be real, I didn't really care
what they were eating long asthey ate something.
This was the best time for mykids because they could
literally have Skittles forbreakfast.
You know what I'm saying?
They were being fed.
(02:26):
They were being fed.
They were being fed.
It was okay.
So I take my kids to school,drop them off, come back home,
put my head under the covers,set my alarm to pick them up
from school, pick them up fromschool, stop and pick them up
some fast food, come, put myhead back under the covers.
I'd cry until bedtime.
Then I'd peek my head out mydoor, make sure they had a bath
(02:50):
and if they said yes, okay.
If they said no, okay, whateverstink I don't care, it's your
body.
Then I get right back in bed.
This was my day for months andmonths and months.
I didn't know that talking tosomebody about it was an option.
I thought, okay, being sad isnormal.
(03:11):
You're divorced, your life isdifferent now.
So I didn't really feel like,okay, this is not normal.
Do you know what I mean?
I just felt like I knewsomething was off, but I just
felt like, okay, you're just sadbecause you're not married
anymore and this is your newlife.
(03:32):
You just need to just get overit and deal with it.
It's your new normal Right.
Which is crazy because, metalking to somebody else who
felt like this, I would neverjust tell them to get over it.
You know what I mean.
I would just never.
If, like somebody I loved, if Iknew this was their day, I
would check in on them.
I would know that something waswrong with them.
(03:55):
But myself I felt like, okay,this is just something you're
going through.
Like this was terribly wrong.
Do you know what I mean?
Like there was a point where Ifelt so hopeless I didn't think
about hurting myself, but I didwonder do I have anything to
(04:16):
live for?
Like I felt like the onlyreason that I stuck around was
because I had kids.
To be honest, I felt like, okay, I can't take my life, because
who's going to take care of mykids?
Sure, they have a dad.
They have a great dad.
He doesn't want me anymore, buthe's still a great dad.
But he can't do things like Ican do.
Come on, I'm mom.
(04:37):
I may not be the best mom rightnow, but I'm still their mom.
So, hey, I got to stick around.
So I honestly think actually Iknow that's the reason I'm still
here probably is because of mykids.
(05:03):
And it really wasn't until Iheard a song on Spirit FM,
really called Redeemed, thatmade me realize, okay, you're
more than this.
I was actually on my way topick up my kids from school and
I heard that song on the radioand I was like, wait a minute,
you're more than what you'redoing right now.
And hearing that song made merealize that, okay, you need to
go talk to somebody, becausewhat you're doing to yourself,
(05:25):
what you're doing to your kids,you're more than that.
But I can honestly say, beforeI actually pulled over and
listened I was almost late forgetting my kids, by the way,
because I had to pull over andlisten to that song but before I
stopped and actually listenedto the words of that song and
(05:46):
before I sat and thought abouthow my days were going, I can
honestly say one of the thingsthat stopped me from seeking
help is because I thought Icould just pray away what I was
going through.
So fast forward a little bit, Iget some help.
And this is something aChristian counselor reminded me
(06:09):
of Struggling mentally doesn'tmake you less spiritual.
There are so many Christianswho struggle and who don't get
help.
Even biblical figures dealt withmental and emotional strain.
Elijah was exhausted and wantedto die.
(06:29):
Actually said I want to die.
David wrote about deep despairin the Psalms.
I want to die.
David wrote about deep despairin the Psalms.
Jesus himself wept andexperienced anguish in
Gethsemane.
I can never say that.
So just hearing those thingsthings I already knew but just
(06:50):
hearing somebody else say thatreally helped me through that
time, and so I just pray thatsomebody listening right now is
encouraged to take care of yourmental health and to know that
it's okay to have Jesus andtherapy.
Steph (07:06):
Oh, talk about Jess, a little bit about.
You heard that song.
You pulled over.
You're almost late picking upyour kids.
What was that moment,specifically, though, that you
said, okay, I need to callsomeone and talk to someone.
What did that look like?
How did you actually handlethat?
Jess (07:26):
I think first of all I had been struggling with okay, if
you're a Christian, you're notpraying strong enough to get
through this.
So that was one.
But then also, I think my otherstruggle was the shame of
(07:46):
actually being a divorcedChristian.
But then, hearing those lyrics,you are redeemed.
And then I was struggling withso many other things.
It wasn't just being divorced,I was somebody who found my
identity in being a mom.
I found my identity in otherthings and so listening to that
song, just hearing that, I'mredeemed.
(08:08):
I've been set free, justhearing that chorus over and
over again, and I'd heard thatsong before, but there was just
something about hearing it thatparticular day.
God just used that song toencourage me in that moment.
God just told me to pull thecar over and listen to those
lyrics and I did.
(08:28):
And it's just like that songjust spoke to me and said I'm
redeemed, I'm set free and goget help.
Now in that song it saysnothing about go see a therapist
.
It says nothing.
It doesn't say here's the phonenumber.
There is nothing in that songthat says that.
(08:49):
But me listening to that songafter that song was over, I knew
that the way I was spending mydays it wasn't right.
I knew my kids deserved better.
I knew I deserved better.
I knew I needed to take care ofmy mental health.
Steph (09:04):
So you then sought out somebody, a therapist, and you
had what one session andeverything was peachy.
First I talked to my pastor.
Jess (09:14):
Okay, and let me tell you that was the most nerve wracking
thing, because I thought, okay,I know I need to see a
counselor, but the first thingI'm going to do is go talk to my
pastor, because I felt like Ineeded to get in with somebody
immediately.
And, you know, I had access tomy pastor and my pastor is there
(09:36):
for us so.
But I was nervous becausehere's, you know, a man of God.
He's going to tell me to prayabout it and I was like I've
been praying, so if he, if I,get in his office, and he tells
me to pray some more and I knowI need some.
I know I need some help.
I might even need somemedication, because that's how
bad it was.
If I get up in this man'soffice and he tells me to pray
(09:58):
and I've already been praying Imight just go off on the past.
I don't want to.
Steph (10:02):
But I'm just telling you honestly, that's where I was.
Jess (10:06):
But when I tell you, my pastor was like you are making
the best decision, knowing thatyou need Jesus and therapy and
they go hand in hand.
Do you know how refreshing thatwas to have your pastor say
it's okay, it's okay, Jesusworks through anything and
(10:26):
anybody.
To have my pastor say that.
And I'm like, wait a minute,for six months I've been here
stressing, thinking that Iwasn't praying enough or that I
wouldn't be spiritual enough.
If I go seek counseling ormedication and he's like, oh
honey, no, you should have beenhere sooner.
(10:47):
Let me give you a list ofChristian counselors.
Steph (10:50):
Like oh my, goodness, eye-opening, you felt seen.
Jess (10:55):
I did Because I know, sadly, not all pastors feel that
way and I think that's probablyhow naive was it to think that
my pastor would think that youknow what I mean.
So I was very blessed to have apastor that did not think that
way, yeah, so you had theconversation with your pastor.
(11:16):
Had the conversation with mypastor.
He talked to me, prayed with me, and then I just started seeing
a therapist on a weekly basis.
At first, we met twice a weekand then once a week and then,
after meeting once a week for along time, once a month.
Steph (11:37):
Yeah, and then is it something that's just kind of
one of those like, once you getinto the chiropractor, you have
a bunch of visits and eventuallyit's just as maintenance and
when you need it Pretty much,yeah, yeah.
So talk about how your journeyhas been.
From how many years ago wasthat when you first were like I
need to get in and talk withsomeone, to where you are now?
Jess (11:58):
That was, oh my goodness, that was about, about.
That was about 10 years ago,okay.
But I have been seeing atherapist continually for the
last 10 years, not every week,not every month but yeah me I
would say therapy, maintenance,therapy that's a thing we'll
(12:20):
make it a thing, but I stillhate that sometimes it's still
such a stigma to be a Christian.
Steph (12:27):
Yeah.
Jess (12:28):
And there are still Christians out there that feel
like, okay, if you have Jesus,that's all you need.
Jesus is enough.
Steph (12:38):
Jesus and therapy, and sometimes medication.
Jess (12:41):
Yes, go hand in hand.
Yes, jesus works throughanything and anyone.
Steph (12:47):
I have a dear friend of mine crippling anxiety.
I mean crippling, and anyonewho's ever dealt with any aspect
of anxiety you can understandthat it's difficult.
And then when you're somebodywho just very introverted until
you get to know her and then shewon't stop talking, one of
(13:09):
those kind of people.
Bless her, love her.
But I remember probably eight,nine years ago, walking through
this journey with her and I saidI encouraged, you need to talk
with someone.
It was the point where any kindof social situation like she
could barely leave her house.
The anxiety was that bad and itwas just a strong Christian.
(13:30):
But she just felt likeeverybody's going to judge me
for, fill in the blank, whateverit was the church that we went
to actually the pastor's wife isa certified counselor whatever
the doctor, whatever all thoseAll the initials, all the
initials, and she was on staffand that's how much the church
we went to believed in helpingpeople with their mental health,
(13:52):
that they had a counselor onstaff.
So she started meeting with herand then she said okay, this is
great and I'm very thankful tosit and talk with you.
You also need to get into somemedication because this is the
next step of being therapeuticand getting you to a healthy
place.
Therapeutic and getting you toa healthy place.
(14:15):
And now, this many years later,I can see how this friend has
gone through these steps and shedoes still.
She's like I'm always going tobe on medicine, but I don't need
to be on such a high doseanymore, and she was like I
can't just pray it away.
Yes, we know, our God is theGod of miracles and in an
instant he can absolutely takeit away.
Absolutely, but there are timeswhere he says no.
(14:35):
These are things that I haveempowered others with.
The ability to have the abilityto talk with someone, to help
somebody work this out, to givethem medicine, because I have
trained these people and giventhem the right mentality to
understand what medicines help.
With all this, I've given himthe gifts to make these things.
Yes, these are all from God,and so he will use whatever it
(14:58):
is that God wants to use inorder to help you overcome your
anxiety, your depression, justthe feelings of inadequacy,
whatever, fill in the blank.
We all go through it For me.
I'll be very, perfectly honest.
And, jess, you don't know thissexual abuse and I was in
therapy for that.
(15:19):
Yeah, as a survivor of that, Idon't need it anymore.
I don't have to.
It was needing to forgive theperson who did that to me and I
was in therapy for a while, butit was.
I can't just pray this away.
It was affecting my whole lifeand everything I was going
(15:39):
through and definitely themental health aspect of it, so
huge.
And I can look back on thattime of my life when it clicked
Because I didn't realize itgrowing up.
I did not realize not just thatI was mentally being affected
by it, but that the abuse washappening.
I didn't realize that that'swhat it actually was called.
And so when it finally clickedand I finally needed to talk to
(16:04):
somebody to work through it andrealize that I am not less than
because this happened and Godloves me, and it's not that.
God let this happened and Godloves me, and it's not that God
let this happen to me.
That is something that peoplestruggle with.
Why did God let that happen?
Jess (16:20):
Yes, sometimes people need to hear that in therapy Because
people hold on to that.
And sometimes that makes peoplewalk away from Jesus, because
they're holding on to that verythought.
Yep.
Steph (16:34):
Yeah, so therapy, talking with someone.
I didn't need to get on anykind of medication.
That wasn't where my mentalhealth journey was.
Everybody's different andeverybody's different?
Jess (16:45):
Exactly, yeah, and just hear us.
Well, we're not sitting heresaying, okay, go see a therapist
to get you some medicine.
We're not saying that.
We're just advocating forwhatever your journey is, we're
just advocating for you and yourmental health, whatever that
looks like for you, For you andfor you.
Steph (17:03):
Jess, you knew that you needed that so that your day
wasn't under the covers.
Wake up, get the kids some kindof food, take them to school.
Go back under the covers, getout of bed, get the kids go back
under the covers, realizing,yes, there is so much more to
that and you needed that personto help you walk through that
journey.
And I needed the person to helpme walk through the journey to
(17:26):
say you are more than thissituation that happened to you,
yes.
Jess (17:30):
I actually wrote this down .
These are when I stepped intothe therapist's office for the
first time a Christian therapist.
These are some of the thingsshe first said to me.
Therapy isn't a replacement forJesus.
First and foremost.
What we're going to do is prayand process worship and work
(17:52):
through it, journal and setboundaries.
I love that and that's what wedid, and that's what I continue
to do through my therapy.
Your process may be different,but this is what my process was
and I love that.
And that's the beauty of atleast being open to having Jesus
(18:14):
and therapy.
You can figure out what type ofprocess is going to work for
you, but nothing is going towork if you don't try.
Steph (18:24):
Plain and simple, that's just what it is.
Jess (18:27):
You can love Jesus and still need help.
Steph (18:29):
Yeah, love Jesus and have a therapist.
Hey, welcome back, or welcome to the Jesus Fix it
podcast, the show where we talkabout life, the ups, the downs,
a little pop culture andeverything in between.
I'm Jess and I'm Steph.
Steph (00:15):
Every other week we dive into the things we're asking
Jesus to fix.
And let's be real, there's alot.
You can always count on us tokeep it real.
Jess (00:24):
Share some laughs with us, and maybe a few tears, as we
tackle the big and small stuffwith faith and honesty.
So grab your coffee and let'sget into it.
There are so many things tocelebrate during this time of
year.
Okay, you have moms,graduations, proms, summer Is it
summer?
Steph (00:43):
yet no, summer is June officially Okay, but the warm
weather for people like you,shade, yes.
Jess (00:55):
I love warm weather.
I love summer.
The person I'm sitting acrossfrom not at all Okay.
So so many things to celebratein May.
And another thing that you cancelebrate is taking care of your
mental health.
Oh, so important my mentalhealth.
(01:20):
I really I don't think I knewthat it was really a priority.
Or maybe I thought that if Iaddressed my mental health, I
was less spiritual or something.
I think that's kind of what Ithought the stigma was.
Okay, let me just give you alittle backstory about how my
(01:40):
mental health decline started.
I was a newly divorced singlemom and this is pretty much how
my days were before I startedworking at Spirit, which was
almost 11 or so years ago.
Wow, that's crazy to think.
But what I would do is rollmyself out of bed still in my
(02:05):
pajamas, take my kids to school.
I would muster up enough energyto care about what they were
eating for breakfast and, justto be real, I didn't really care
what they were eating long asthey ate something.
This was the best time for mykids because they could
literally have Skittles forbreakfast.
You know what I'm saying?
They were being fed.
(02:26):
They were being fed.
They were being fed.
It was okay.
So I take my kids to school,drop them off, come back home,
put my head under the covers,set my alarm to pick them up
from school, pick them up fromschool, stop and pick them up
some fast food, come, put myhead back under the covers.
I'd cry until bedtime.
Then I'd peek my head out mydoor, make sure they had a bath
(02:50):
and if they said yes, okay.
If they said no, okay, whateverstink I don't care, it's your
body.
Then I get right back in bed.
This was my day for months andmonths and months.
I didn't know that talking tosomebody about it was an option.
I thought, okay, being sad isnormal.
(03:11):
You're divorced, your life isdifferent now.
So I didn't really feel like,okay, this is not normal.
Do you know what I mean?
I just felt like I knewsomething was off, but I just
felt like, okay, you're just sadbecause you're not married
anymore and this is your newlife.
(03:32):
You just need to just get overit and deal with it.
It's your new normal Right.
Which is crazy because, metalking to somebody else who
felt like this, I would neverjust tell them to get over it.
You know what I mean.
I would just never.
If, like somebody I loved, if Iknew this was their day, I
would check in on them.
I would know that something waswrong with them.
(03:55):
But myself I felt like, okay,this is just something you're
going through.
Like this was terribly wrong.
Do you know what I mean?
Like there was a point where Ifelt so hopeless I didn't think
about hurting myself, but I didwonder do I have anything to
(04:16):
live for?
Like I felt like the onlyreason that I stuck around was
because I had kids.
To be honest, I felt like, okay, I can't take my life, because
who's going to take care of mykids?
Sure, they have a dad.
They have a great dad.
He doesn't want me anymore, buthe's still a great dad.
But he can't do things like Ican do.
Come on, I'm mom.
(04:37):
I may not be the best mom rightnow, but I'm still their mom.
So, hey, I got to stick around.
So I honestly think actually Iknow that's the reason I'm still
here probably is because of mykids.
(05:03):
And it really wasn't until Iheard a song on Spirit FM,
really called Redeemed, thatmade me realize, okay, you're
more than this.
I was actually on my way topick up my kids from school and
I heard that song on the radioand I was like, wait a minute,
you're more than what you'redoing right now.
And hearing that song made merealize that, okay, you need to
go talk to somebody, becausewhat you're doing to yourself,
(05:25):
what you're doing to your kids,you're more than that.
But I can honestly say, beforeI actually pulled over and
listened I was almost late forgetting my kids, by the way,
because I had to pull over andlisten to that song but before I
stopped and actually listenedto the words of that song and
(05:46):
before I sat and thought abouthow my days were going, I can
honestly say one of the thingsthat stopped me from seeking
help is because I thought Icould just pray away what I was
going through.
So fast forward a little bit, Iget some help.
And this is something aChristian counselor reminded me
(06:09):
of Struggling mentally doesn'tmake you less spiritual.
There are so many Christianswho struggle and who don't get
help.
Even biblical figures dealt withmental and emotional strain.
Elijah was exhausted and wantedto die.
(06:29):
Actually said I want to die.
David wrote about deep despairin the Psalms.
I want to die.
David wrote about deep despairin the Psalms.
Jesus himself wept andexperienced anguish in
Gethsemane.
I can never say that.
So just hearing those thingsthings I already knew but just
(06:50):
hearing somebody else say thatreally helped me through that
time, and so I just pray thatsomebody listening right now is
encouraged to take care of yourmental health and to know that
it's okay to have Jesus andtherapy.
Steph (07:06):
Oh, talk about Jess, a little bit about.
You heard that song.
You pulled over.
You're almost late picking upyour kids.
What was that moment,specifically, though, that you
said, okay, I need to callsomeone and talk to someone.
What did that look like?
How did you actually handlethat?
Jess (07:26):
I think first of all I had been struggling with okay, if
you're a Christian, you're notpraying strong enough to get
through this.
So that was one.
But then also, I think my otherstruggle was the shame of
(07:46):
actually being a divorcedChristian.
But then, hearing those lyrics,you are redeemed.
And then I was struggling withso many other things.
It wasn't just being divorced,I was somebody who found my
identity in being a mom.
I found my identity in otherthings and so listening to that
song, just hearing that, I'mredeemed.
(08:08):
I've been set free, justhearing that chorus over and
over again, and I'd heard thatsong before, but there was just
something about hearing it thatparticular day.
God just used that song toencourage me in that moment.
God just told me to pull thecar over and listen to those
lyrics and I did.
(08:28):
And it's just like that songjust spoke to me and said I'm
redeemed, I'm set free and goget help.
Now in that song it saysnothing about go see a therapist
.
It says nothing.
It doesn't say here's the phonenumber.
There is nothing in that songthat says that.
(08:49):
But me listening to that songafter that song was over, I knew
that the way I was spending mydays it wasn't right.
I knew my kids deserved better.
I knew I deserved better.
I knew I needed to take care ofmy mental health.
Steph (09:04):
So you then sought out somebody, a therapist, and you
had what one session andeverything was peachy.
First I talked to my pastor.
Jess (09:14):
Okay, and let me tell you that was the most nerve wracking
thing, because I thought, okay,I know I need to see a
counselor, but the first thingI'm going to do is go talk to my
pastor, because I felt like Ineeded to get in with somebody
immediately.
And, you know, I had access tomy pastor and my pastor is there
(09:36):
for us so.
But I was nervous becausehere's, you know, a man of God.
He's going to tell me to prayabout it and I was like I've
been praying, so if he, if I,get in his office, and he tells
me to pray some more and I knowI need some.
I know I need some help.
I might even need somemedication, because that's how
bad it was.
If I get up in this man'soffice and he tells me to pray
(09:58):
and I've already been praying Imight just go off on the past.
I don't want to.
Steph (10:02):
But I'm just telling you honestly, that's where I was.
Jess (10:06):
But when I tell you, my pastor was like you are making
the best decision, knowing thatyou need Jesus and therapy and
they go hand in hand.
Do you know how refreshing thatwas to have your pastor say
it's okay, it's okay, Jesusworks through anything and
(10:26):
anybody.
To have my pastor say that.
And I'm like, wait a minute,for six months I've been here
stressing, thinking that Iwasn't praying enough or that I
wouldn't be spiritual enough.
If I go seek counseling ormedication and he's like, oh
honey, no, you should have beenhere sooner.
(10:47):
Let me give you a list ofChristian counselors.
Steph (10:50):
Like oh my, goodness, eye-opening, you felt seen.
Jess (10:55):
I did Because I know, sadly, not all pastors feel that
way and I think that's probablyhow naive was it to think that
my pastor would think that youknow what I mean.
So I was very blessed to have apastor that did not think that
way, yeah, so you had theconversation with your pastor.
(11:16):
Had the conversation with mypastor.
He talked to me, prayed with me, and then I just started seeing
a therapist on a weekly basis.
At first, we met twice a weekand then once a week and then,
after meeting once a week for along time, once a month.
Steph (11:37):
Yeah, and then is it something that's just kind of
one of those like, once you getinto the chiropractor, you have
a bunch of visits and eventuallyit's just as maintenance and
when you need it Pretty much,yeah, yeah.
So talk about how your journeyhas been.
From how many years ago wasthat when you first were like I
need to get in and talk withsomeone, to where you are now?
Jess (11:58):
That was, oh my goodness, that was about, about.
That was about 10 years ago,okay.
But I have been seeing atherapist continually for the
last 10 years, not every week,not every month but yeah me I
would say therapy, maintenance,therapy that's a thing we'll
(12:20):
make it a thing, but I stillhate that sometimes it's still
such a stigma to be a Christian.
Steph (12:27):
Yeah.
Jess (12:28):
And there are still Christians out there that feel
like, okay, if you have Jesus,that's all you need.
Jesus is enough.
Steph (12:38):
Jesus and therapy, and sometimes medication.
Jess (12:41):
Yes, go hand in hand.
Yes, jesus works throughanything and anyone.
Steph (12:47):
I have a dear friend of mine crippling anxiety.
I mean crippling, and anyonewho's ever dealt with any aspect
of anxiety you can understandthat it's difficult.
And then when you're somebodywho just very introverted until
you get to know her and then shewon't stop talking, one of
(13:09):
those kind of people.
Bless her, love her.
But I remember probably eight,nine years ago, walking through
this journey with her and I saidI encouraged, you need to talk
with someone.
It was the point where any kindof social situation like she
could barely leave her house.
The anxiety was that bad and itwas just a strong Christian.
(13:30):
But she just felt likeeverybody's going to judge me
for, fill in the blank, whateverit was the church that we went
to actually the pastor's wife isa certified counselor whatever
the doctor, whatever all thoseAll the initials, all the
initials, and she was on staffand that's how much the church
we went to believed in helpingpeople with their mental health,
(13:52):
that they had a counselor onstaff.
So she started meeting with herand then she said okay, this is
great and I'm very thankful tosit and talk with you.
You also need to get into somemedication because this is the
next step of being therapeuticand getting you to a healthy
place.
Therapeutic and getting you toa healthy place.
(14:15):
And now, this many years later,I can see how this friend has
gone through these steps and shedoes still.
She's like I'm always going tobe on medicine, but I don't need
to be on such a high doseanymore, and she was like I
can't just pray it away.
Yes, we know, our God is theGod of miracles and in an
instant he can absolutely takeit away.
Absolutely, but there are timeswhere he says no.
(14:35):
These are things that I haveempowered others with.
The ability to have the abilityto talk with someone, to help
somebody work this out, to givethem medicine, because I have
trained these people and giventhem the right mentality to
understand what medicines help.
With all this, I've given himthe gifts to make these things.
Yes, these are all from God,and so he will use whatever it
(14:58):
is that God wants to use inorder to help you overcome your
anxiety, your depression, justthe feelings of inadequacy,
whatever, fill in the blank.
We all go through it For me.
I'll be very, perfectly honest.
And, jess, you don't know thissexual abuse and I was in
therapy for that.
(15:19):
Yeah, as a survivor of that, Idon't need it anymore.
I don't have to.
It was needing to forgive theperson who did that to me and I
was in therapy for a while, butit was.
I can't just pray this away.
It was affecting my whole lifeand everything I was going
(15:39):
through and definitely themental health aspect of it, so
huge.
And I can look back on thattime of my life when it clicked
Because I didn't realize itgrowing up.
I did not realize not just thatI was mentally being affected
by it, but that the abuse washappening.
I didn't realize that that'swhat it actually was called.
And so when it finally clickedand I finally needed to talk to
(16:04):
somebody to work through it andrealize that I am not less than
because this happened and Godloves me, and it's not that.
God let this happened and Godloves me, and it's not that God
let this happen to me.
That is something that peoplestruggle with.
Why did God let that happen?
Jess (16:20):
Yes, sometimes people need to hear that in therapy Because
people hold on to that.
And sometimes that makes peoplewalk away from Jesus, because
they're holding on to that verythought.
Yep.
Steph (16:34):
Yeah, so therapy, talking with someone.
I didn't need to get on anykind of medication.
That wasn't where my mentalhealth journey was.
Everybody's different andeverybody's different?
Jess (16:45):
Exactly, yeah, and just hear us.
Well, we're not sitting heresaying, okay, go see a therapist
to get you some medicine.
We're not saying that.
We're just advocating forwhatever your journey is, we're
just advocating for you and yourmental health, whatever that
looks like for you, For you andfor you.
Steph (17:03):
Jess, you knew that you needed that so that your day
wasn't under the covers.
Wake up, get the kids some kindof food, take them to school.
Go back under the covers, getout of bed, get the kids go back
under the covers, realizing,yes, there is so much more to
that and you needed that personto help you walk through that
journey.
And I needed the person to helpme walk through the journey to
(17:26):
say you are more than thissituation that happened to you,
yes.
Jess (17:30):
I actually wrote this down .
These are when I stepped intothe therapist's office for the
first time a Christian therapist.
These are some of the thingsshe first said to me.
Therapy isn't a replacement forJesus.
First and foremost.
What we're going to do is prayand process worship and work
(17:52):
through it, journal and setboundaries.
I love that and that's what wedid, and that's what I continue
to do through my therapy.
Your process may be different,but this is what my process was
and I love that.
And that's the beauty of atleast being open to having Jesus
(18:14):
and therapy.
You can figure out what type ofprocess is going to work for
you, but nothing is going towork if you don't try.
Steph (18:24):
Plain and simple, that's just what it is.
Jess (18:27):
You can love Jesus and still need help.
Steph (18:29):
Yeah, love Jesus and have a therapist.
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