Erick Cloward was raised in the Mormon Church in Utah, in a not-always-happy home. He talks about it a lot on his podcast, The Stoic Coffee Break (which is an absolute must-subscribe, by the way) and the parts of that culture that eventually led him to leave the church, and Utah altogether. In episode 181 of his show, he digs into "asking" vs. "guessing" culture, and the contrast between what was the norm in his lived experience in the Church of Latter-day Saints, and cultures—dare I say, like Judaism??—that normalize directness. I immediately saw myself, and reflections of a million little skirmishes I've had over the years in that episode, and naturally had a million things to ask, got cheeky, and emailed him. Our conversation reflects on what "asking" vs "guessing" culture means, how it manifests, different approaches and why such things might exist. And of course, I peppered him with a bunch of questions he should not have been tasked with answering, but graciously did anyway. Thank you so much, Erick, for giving this wee podcast a bit of your Big Deal Podcaster time!
Make sure you also check out his episode on being a people pleaser, which we also talk about in this episode!
GLOSSARY:
Glasnost Perestroika: meaning “openness” and “restructuring,” this was a period of reforms at the end of the Soviet era initiated by Mikhail Gorbachev after becoming head of the Communist Party in 1985.
Midrash: both a noun and a verb, midrash means commentary (or commenting) on aspects of Jewish law or scripture. Interpretations from rabbis over the centuries have been gathered into a collection of writings often referenced to help understand or give depth of meaning to readings in the Torah or Jewish law.
Pesach: the Hebrew name for Passover, the ritual meal which commemorates the Exodus from Egypt, when Jews followed Moses out of slavery after the Ten Plagues.
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