June 18, 2024 • 21 mins
What happens when relentless suffering makes you feel forsaken by God? In this deeply moving episode, we explore Kristen's poignant journey through severe health issues. Despite enduring constant pain, Kristen's unwavering commitment to praise God amidst her trials offers a compelling testament to the power of faith. She opens up about her battles with doubt and despair, reminding us that even in the depths of suffering, there's room for gratitude and hope for eventual healing.
Drawing inspiration from the biblical story of Job, we delve into how hardships can lead to a profound intimacy with God. This episode emphasizes shifting our perspective to recognize and be grateful for even the smallest blessings, and to understand that challenges do not negate God's promise or presence. We also discuss the enemy's tactics and encourage listeners to stay steadfast in their faith, surrendering their struggles to God for both physical and emotional healing. Concluding with a heartfelt prayer, this episode aims to renew your strength and belief that through God's power, any obstacle can be overcome. Tune in and share this message of hope with those who need it most.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, welcome to another edition of the Jordan
and Kristen Rickards show.
Today's topic why has Godforsaken me?
And this is for anybody who'sgone through a situation where
you feel like you're praying andyou're believing for a miracle
and, for whatever reason, youjust keep suffering and it seems
like you're just talking to thewall or talking to the ceiling
at night, laying in bed andnothing seems to be happening.
Well, if that's you, thismessage is for you, because this
(00:23):
is going to be from our lovelyKristen here, who's going to
share her own what we're goingto call in-progress testimony.
In other words, we're stillwaiting for the completion of
the miracle, but we're still inprogress.
All right so before we do that,Kristen, why don't you pray for
everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Well, thank you, lord .
I just pray that this messagetoday encourages myself included
and those listening, lord, thatthere may be questions, that we
have, god, but we don't gethung up on that.
We get hung up on the fact thatyou care about us and we hold
tight to your promises, and howthere is hope for a future, and
(00:58):
that you care about us right nowand that our future and our
present joy starts now, lord.
So I pray that over all of us,anyone who's listening, lord and
beyond, in Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Amen, all right, so I already introduced the topic.
Kristen, why don't you justtell us what's been going on in
your life the last six monthsand how you're dealing with it?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I love that you said it's a testimony in progress.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That's what it is.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You know, we thought about sharing this after the
testimony was finally, you know,done and the health my health
was 100%.
But I think there's more powerin praising God while I'm still
going through this and sharingthat at this moment, about six
months ago, I have always been avery healthy person, just very
(01:43):
active, very, very healthy.
Praise God.
About six months ago, I wentand got a test from an allergist
where they put these patcheschemical patches on your back to
see what you are allergic to,and they put 108 things on my
back, which I'm told by everyoneis too many to do, and for 48
(02:06):
hours that was on my back andtaken off.
Long story short, we don't knowthis to be true, but all I know
, putting the pieces together, Iwas totally, 100% healthy and
after that happened, so manythings happened in my body,
health wise.
I just started burning all overmy body and it wouldn't stop.
I felt like I had a fever 24-7and that went on for quite a
(02:28):
while, over months, and I got ona steroid and I felt like that
still wasn't working.
At the same time this washappening, I started developing
all this pressure in my headlike intense I'm not talking
just a little.
It's really hard to describe,but lots of weird feelings and
pressures in the head that arejust really hard to concentrate
on anything else, to be quitehonest.
(02:49):
So, praise God, the burningwent away after over a month on
a steroid and getting off ofthat and the adjustment Praise
God for the victory there.
The pressure in the headincreased and increased and
increased.
Went and saw a neurologist andthis and that and the other and
I'm in the process of physicaltherapy, which has helped me
greatly.
But I will tell you, you knowthis all started, like Jordan
(03:13):
said, like six months ago.
I'm still going through everyday.
I praise God for the littleimprovements.
I see little improvements, butI want to tell you it's the
cynic in me wants to say theflesh part of me oh, my gosh,
when is this ever going to endright?
And every day, oh, I've had mymoments of just total.
You know the enemy tries to comein with that doubt and despair
(03:34):
and just all the lies, because Ipray for the healing every day
and you know the pain and whenit gets really bad.
But I have reshifted and reallyfocused on praising God through
this storm and praising him andraising up a hallelujah and
saying God, there is purpose inthis pain, and I know it's not
(03:56):
forever.
And even while I'm goingthrough it, I'm not going to
wait till it's over to praiseyou.
I feel like that's so key notwaiting till it's over to
believe, but even while you'rein the midst of something like
this to praise him.
And I feel like I'm at thatplace, finally, where I'm
praising God while I'm goingthrough this and I'm getting to
a deeper place of intimacy withhim and I know he has something
(04:18):
very special in the midst ofthis.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I think you're underselling just how painful
this has been for you.
I mean, I remember, you know,some really bad moments in there
, um coming, uh being on theairplane to Florida.
That one time, um, when youknow you, you thought you were
going to have a seizure.
You were in that much pain andand and that much pressure in
your head.
I remember, uh, separate, aseparate trip.
(04:40):
We were um, the first day wewere at Disney World that one
time and I thought I was goingto have to take you to like
emergency services or something.
I mean there was just.
There have just been so manydays.
Even you know, the last week,you told me, whatever day it was
, you had some performance thatday and you said you were in
more pain than you've ever beenin your entire life.
And one of the things about youis that you tend to it's funny
(05:01):
you minimize your pain until itbecomes just intolerable or
until it just it's just like themost obvious thing in the world
.
And then you know, you realizeit's how much pain you've been
in, but you've been, just, youknow, in constant pain, you know
, for six months, and I thinkthis was an important, it's an
important thing to discuss.
Why has God forsaken me?
(05:21):
Remember that's that title,where I got that from.
That's from Jesus.
He's hanging on the cross andJesus says why has God forsaken
me?
And so you know, if Jesus saysthat, it's very natural for us
to say the same thing why am Igoing through this?
And it's not just the causalityof it like what have I done to
cause this?
That's not just the causalityof it, like what have I done to
cause this?
That's not what I mean, butmore like you have made a
certain promise, as God.
You say, for example, if anytwo of us are in agreement, that
(05:44):
it'll be done for us on earthas it's done in heaven.
And you and I have stood inprayer and agreed that you'd be
healed of this, and the healinghasn't really manifested itself.
I mean, you've had better days.
You seem improved, but you seemimproved.
But you know there have been.
Like I said, just this pastweek you had the worst day
you've ever had.
So you know the why is not justwhy is this happening, but why,
(06:05):
god, haven't you stopped it?
And I thought it was importantto do this message because you
know it's very easy to turn onsomeone like Osteen and I love
him.
Or you go to church and youhear people's testimonies about
how they've been healed andthey're praising God then and
that's great.
But I think it's also importantfor people to say, look, you
know, you got to praise God evenwhen you're not healed yet.
(06:25):
And this is what it looks likewhen you're going through it,
and it's not the easiest thingin the world.
It is difficult and you aregoing to suffer, but you still
have to.
You have to remain in yourfaith.
The worst thing you can doright, it's exactly what the
enemy wants.
The worst thing you can do is,at this point, abandon your
faith.
So then the enemy gets theglory out of it.
And then, and then you'reyou're completely hopeless at
that point.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
And I'm in just to be real.
I mean, I've, like you said,never stopped being out of pain.
I'm in pain right now as Ismile through it.
And, in fact, just a littlemoment of humor, before we got
on, I hit my leg on the coffeetable.
It's a black and blue and I got.
I got some ice on it, so I saidit as a joke.
Well, I guess this is the waythat God wants to take my um,
(07:05):
the coffee table definitely wonthat round.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Just looking at your toe now.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
So that's, it didn't even hit my toe, it's on my leg,
um, but, but you know, uh, butthat's just my point is that you
got it.
You got to laugh.
You have to laugh through it.
You know, every day I readhealing scriptures and before I
was going through this I alwaysthought, oh, that's wonderful
(07:30):
that God heals, and.
But when it's something real toyou, when you have to go
through it, it really reallybecomes.
You know, you get to a deeperplace in your walk.
That and I and I choose to lookat it that way and I have days,
have had days that I definitelyhave hit low points and just
been human.
And I, I, you know God does notlook at you and say, oh, you
(07:53):
doubted, or oh, you cried or ohyou, you know he does not
dismiss us.
He just wants to hold us in ourpain.
And whether that's a physicalpain or whether it's something
you're going through with griefor loss or you know any sort of
suffering, that I think thebiggest thing is to know that
there is a purpose in it andthat God will deliver you and
(08:16):
his promise is true.
And just keep reading, like Iread scripture every day,
healing scripture and all ofthat and I've really experienced
a deeper place with him and adeeper joy, in a bizarre sense,
than I could have otherwise.
And so you know, don't give up.
Hope, Don't.
That's the biggest thing isthat our minds are the
(08:39):
battlefield right, and so thephysical aspect is one thing,
but for me it's been more of theemotional aspect of like, oh my
gosh, is this ever going to end?
And getting my emotions andgetting my heart in the right
place and knowing beyond what Ifeel physically, getting alone
with God and getting thatsettled and just saying God, I
(09:00):
surrender, I surrender it all toyou.
Getting in that place has beenso beneficial, because that's
the only thing you can do is getin that place and say, god, I
don't understand why this ishappening, but I trust you and
I've gotten to that place and Ihave to say it's a great place
to be.
You know, one of the, I think,the worst things that place, and
I have to say it's a greatplace to be.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
You know one of the, I think, the worst things that
happens, and I understand thereason, the value behind it.
But you know you try to mimicwhat someone else has done, who
received their healing.
And so you know Joel Osteentells a story when his mother
was diagnosed with terminalcancer, how she decided well,
she was just going to go prayfor other people who are
terminally ill or who havesicknesses.
And then you know this was 30years ago and she was cured and
(09:40):
she still lives.
And you think, okay, that's aticket, then If I just do what
Joel Osteen's mother did, thenI'll get the same healing.
Or, minister Derek Prince, youknow he would talk about how
well you're supposed to takemedicine three times a day.
So he received his healing byreading the word of God three
times a day with food, right,you know, breakfast, lunch and
dinner.
That's how you take medicine,so that's how he was taking the
(10:01):
Bible.
And you might think, okay, well, then that's the ticket right
there.
That's what I have to do.
Look, it's not about likethere's a certain spell, you
know, there's not like a certainformula for doing this you
mentioned God has a purpose.
He probably has an infinitenumber of purposes.
You may never even know them.
But if I had to kind of, youknow, pick out one word of
advice from the Bible, it wouldbe from the book of Job, which
(10:23):
is just a hard book to read, man.
I mean, you know, the book ofJob starts basically with God
handing Job over to Satan topretty much do whatever he
wanted.
And Satan not only takeseverything material from him, he
kills his wife and children andeverybody, everybody dies.
And at the end of Job, godgives Job a new wife and more
(10:43):
kids and everything like that.
And you say, well, that's great, but the other ones are also
still dead.
So it's not like replacing acar that was totaled.
You know what I mean.
But what is it that Job says inthe midst of all of this?
He says, though, my Redeemerslay me, yet I know that he
lives, and it's even though I'mgoing through the worst hell.
That is even something beyondwhat I can imagine.
(11:04):
Yet I know he still lives.
And if I had to say, you know,the commonality in any healing,
the commonality in any miracle,whether it's physical or
financial or whatever, is theperseverance to say the thing
I'm going through doesn't refuteGod, it doesn't refute his
promises for me?
Okay, that, even though I'mgoing through this, yet I know
(11:27):
he lives.
Yet I know he has a plan for me.
Yet I know he hasn't forgottenabout me.
Yet I know he is still real,and yet he is, even when he
feels the most distant.
Now he is even more real to methan ever.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, I really believe that there's this
special intimacy that God hasreserved for you if you're going
through something.
I know God doesn't playfavorites and that's not what I
mean, but it's a reshifting ofinstead of saying, why are you
putting me through this?
Whether it's a physical thinglike this or something else,
yeah, but instead it's like Godis bringing you to a special
(12:00):
place and he has somethingspecial just for you, and I know
that sounds really bizarre tobe happy about.
But what is that verse about?
Consider it pure joy when yougo through trials.
I always didn't.
You know that wasn't one of myfavorite verses.
But it is true, you have to takethat attitude because you have
no other alternative first ofall, take that attitude because
(12:25):
you have no other alternativefirst of all.
But it's God wants to bring youto that place of just total
surrender.
And you know, I think that'sthe thing.
I think again, the physical isone aspect, but it's really the
emotional.
I've experienced emotionalplaces that I felt just so I'm a
Christian and God why?
And then reframing that andsaying no, I know that you have
(12:47):
me.
And there's things that I'mgrateful for now that I never
thought I was always grateful.
I was always grateful kind ofperson, but really a new level
of gratitude.
I remember that one day youwere talking about the trip that
I experienced some difficultiesand I remember one day feeling
like I couldn't even get fooddown and thank God that passed
(13:09):
pretty quickly but I am grateful.
That taught me to be gratefulfor every bite of food.
I remember eating that laterthat day when I could get food
down, like oh my gosh, I'venever been so grateful for every
bite of food, I've never beenso grateful.
So there's like every littlestep of the way.
I mean, you know there's beenlittle things that have happened
and big things, and they'vecaused me to be so grateful.
(13:33):
I'm grateful when I feel onepart of my head or something
that's not hurting, or somethingthat's not burning.
I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful for what Godhas and it's concentrating on
that.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You know it's sometimes you mentioned hard to
know God's purpose in this, butit's not very difficult ever to
know the enemy's purpose in thisright.
What is it the enemy comes tosteal, kill and destroy.
And what is it in Job?
See, you and I talked about howit's important never to give
the enemy the microphone right.
Never let him take themicrophone and speak through
your mouth.
(14:05):
But what is it in Job that theenemy keeps wanting Job to say?
Keep saying curse God and die.
Curse God and curse God can meana lot of different things.
It could simply just mean youknow what?
I give up on this.
I give up on God.
You know he doesn't.
You know the plans I thought hehad for me.
He doesn't have.
It could be anything like that.
But if you know that that's theplan that the enemy has for you
, then it's a lot easier, Ithink, to rebuke it and say no,
(14:29):
I'm just going to double down onthis.
I'm going to do the opposite ofcursing God.
I'm going to go deeper into myfaith, deeper into the intimacy.
I love what you said, by the way, about how you feel like
there's a special relationshipwith God.
I kind of think of it as likesort of a family that has
multiple children but one issick or something.
You know who gets all theattention?
It's the one who needs it atthat moment and you know it's
kind of a weird thing to thinkwell, god allows me to be sick,
(14:49):
how could God love me?
And I don't pretend tounderstand that.
I think one of the mistakes wemake is we sometimes try to
understand too many things andother people try to explain too
many things.
This isn't about explaining it.
This isn't about understandingwhat you're going through.
What you're going through isindividual to you.
That's right.
That's between you and God,okay.
This is simply aboutunderstanding that this is not
(15:09):
something that refutes aChristian life.
The Bible says that in thislife, you know, we will have
troubles Many are theafflictions of the righteous but
the Lord delivers them from all.
So the point of this messageisn't to give you sort of a
magic potion and, you know, justread these Bible verses and
you'll be healed.
There are plenty of good onesabout healing.
You know, one of my favoritesdeath and life is in the power
of the tongue.
(15:30):
That's in Proverbs, okay, andthat goes back to what we were
saying.
But this isn't about that.
Yes, stay in the word.
Yes, pray for other people.
You know, yes, absolutely whatKristen said.
You so, yes, absolutely whatKristen said.
Double down and just get closerand more intimate with God.
But, more important than that,understand that if you're going
through something, even when youdon't see the end, when you're
going through something, itdoesn't mean that God doesn't
(15:51):
exist.
It doesn't mean that Goddoesn't care about you anymore.
It doesn't even have to meananything at that moment.
It's just something that youhave to go through, and that's
the time when you really have tojust lean into your faith
instead of reject what you'regoing through as evidence that
your faith is misplaced.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
That's what I'm trying to say and if I was kind
of a run on sentence, I reallyfeel like if you're going
through, you know the physicalor emotional and you need
healing.
Just open the Bible app andtype in the word healing and all
the scripture verses that'llpop up that have to do with
healing.
I've always read them, but ithits you different when you're
going through it.
It really hits you differentand you start to see things that
(16:33):
you never saw before in thereand just the way God cares for
you and the way he loves you.
And you have a testimony.
You have a powerful testimonyand that's the thing is that God
hasn't forsaken you.
He'll never leave you and he'sexperienced suffering, you know.
Think about all the sufferinghe went through for us.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
My final thought on that just build off of that.
You know, the Bible says surelyChrist bore our sicknesses and
our infirmities on the cross,and the cross is what he used to
overcome everything.
So he didn't just bearsicknesses and infirmities, he
overcame them.
And don't forget what happenswhen he's on the cross he dies
and he actually descends intohell.
And when you're going throughsomething like this, it's like
(17:16):
we're in our own personal hell.
But Jesus rose from the dead,he rose from hell, he defeated
hell.
And the same way, even thoughyou can't see it sometimes and
maybe even the outcome isn'twhat you want, maybe you pray
for a loved one and that lovedone doesn't recover and it's
hard to understand how that'sconsistent with God's will.
And all I can say to encourageyou is you don't always have to
understand it, but you do haveto do if you want to get through
(17:40):
it.
If you want to prosper, is youjust have to do.
If you want to get through it,if you want to prosper, is you
just have to double down withGod and use that time to get
even closer rather than furtheraway.
Any final thoughts, beautifulwoman.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You can't do it on your own.
You are a stunning woman, bythe way, thank you.
You are not hard to look at,thank you.
You can't do it on your ownstrength.
It's God's strength.
You know, if I think about, forme, my personal, like Jordan
said, everybody has a story.
So if I think about my personal, we're not here to compare like
, oh well, maybe you havesomething that's worse or
(18:10):
whatever.
For me it's been the hardestthing I've gone through in my
life.
But I think about it and I'mlike well, how am I going
through this?
Because I'm not going throughit alone, I'm not doing it on my
own strength, I can't.
You have to give it up to God.
You just say here, help me, Ijust need you to come in.
You don't try to do it on yourown strength.
(18:32):
Don't try to take this on yourown.
Don't try to prove that you'retough and you know God wants to
take it for you, and that has todo with everything, not just
physical healing.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
By the way, if you see this bruise on Kristen's arm
here, this isn't from me, likegrabbing her.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Look at this you are just yeah, I just kind of have
things that just happen.
I told you ever since you knowit's just for six months, just
wacko little things here andthere.
That's a side note.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Anyway, all right, sweetie, you want to just pray
for everybody here?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yes, well, lord, we thank you that your power works
best in our weakness, god, thereis hope, there is joy, there is
a special place that you havenot forsaken us and, in fact, if
we are going through somethingright now that you are bringing
(19:24):
us to this beautiful, there's apurpose in the pain and there's
beauty for the ashes and thereis something that you have for
us.
There is hope, god.
That's what we need, lord.
We need your hope, we need you,god.
We can't do it alone, we can'tdo it at all, but in you we can
conquer.
You have already conquereddeath.
You have conquered sickness,lord, and you've conquered all
(19:47):
things.
They've trampled them underyour foot.
So, god, we honor you, wepraise you and we pray and I do
pray for total healing foranyone who's suffering, complete
healing mentally, physicallyand emotionally.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
All right guys.
Thanks for joining us.
I hope this has been a blessingto you.
You know we don't reallypromote ourselves enough, but if
you got something out of thisvideo and you're still watching
20 minutes into it and accordingto our data you're probably not
but if you are, go ahead andjust share this video with
anybody who you think might needit and who might be encouraged
by it.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
That's.
All right, welcome to another edition of the Jordan
and Kristen Rickards show.
Today's topic why has Godforsaken me?
And this is for anybody who'sgone through a situation where
you feel like you're praying andyou're believing for a miracle
and, for whatever reason, youjust keep suffering and it seems
like you're just talking to thewall or talking to the ceiling
at night, laying in bed andnothing seems to be happening.
Well, if that's you, thismessage is for you, because this
(00:23):
is going to be from our lovelyKristen here, who's going to
share her own what we're goingto call in-progress testimony.
In other words, we're stillwaiting for the completion of
the miracle, but we're still inprogress.
All right so before we do that,Kristen, why don't you pray for
everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Well, thank you, lord .
I just pray that this messagetoday encourages myself included
and those listening, lord, thatthere may be questions, that we
have, god, but we don't gethung up on that.
We get hung up on the fact thatyou care about us and we hold
tight to your promises, and howthere is hope for a future, and
(00:58):
that you care about us right nowand that our future and our
present joy starts now, lord.
So I pray that over all of us,anyone who's listening, lord and
beyond, in Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Amen, all right, so I already introduced the topic.
Kristen, why don't you justtell us what's been going on in
your life the last six monthsand how you're dealing with it?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I love that you said it's a testimony in progress.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That's what it is.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
You know, we thought about sharing this after the
testimony was finally, you know,done and the health my health
was 100%.
But I think there's more powerin praising God while I'm still
going through this and sharingthat at this moment, about six
months ago, I have always been avery healthy person, just very
(01:43):
active, very, very healthy.
Praise God.
About six months ago, I wentand got a test from an allergist
where they put these patcheschemical patches on your back to
see what you are allergic to,and they put 108 things on my
back, which I'm told by everyoneis too many to do, and for 48
(02:06):
hours that was on my back andtaken off.
Long story short, we don't knowthis to be true, but all I know
, putting the pieces together, Iwas totally, 100% healthy and
after that happened, so manythings happened in my body,
health wise.
I just started burning all overmy body and it wouldn't stop.
I felt like I had a fever 24-7and that went on for quite a
(02:28):
while, over months, and I got ona steroid and I felt like that
still wasn't working.
At the same time this washappening, I started developing
all this pressure in my headlike intense I'm not talking
just a little.
It's really hard to describe,but lots of weird feelings and
pressures in the head that arejust really hard to concentrate
on anything else, to be quitehonest.
(02:49):
So, praise God, the burningwent away after over a month on
a steroid and getting off ofthat and the adjustment Praise
God for the victory there.
The pressure in the headincreased and increased and
increased.
Went and saw a neurologist andthis and that and the other and
I'm in the process of physicaltherapy, which has helped me
greatly.
But I will tell you, you knowthis all started, like Jordan
(03:13):
said, like six months ago.
I'm still going through everyday.
I praise God for the littleimprovements.
I see little improvements, butI want to tell you it's the
cynic in me wants to say theflesh part of me oh, my gosh,
when is this ever going to endright?
And every day, oh, I've had mymoments of just total.
You know the enemy tries to comein with that doubt and despair
(03:34):
and just all the lies, because Ipray for the healing every day
and you know the pain and whenit gets really bad.
But I have reshifted and reallyfocused on praising God through
this storm and praising him andraising up a hallelujah and
saying God, there is purpose inthis pain, and I know it's not
(03:56):
forever.
And even while I'm goingthrough it, I'm not going to
wait till it's over to praiseyou.
I feel like that's so key notwaiting till it's over to
believe, but even while you'rein the midst of something like
this to praise him.
And I feel like I'm at thatplace, finally, where I'm
praising God while I'm goingthrough this and I'm getting to
a deeper place of intimacy withhim and I know he has something
(04:18):
very special in the midst ofthis.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I think you're underselling just how painful
this has been for you.
I mean, I remember, you know,some really bad moments in there
, um coming, uh being on theairplane to Florida.
That one time, um, when youknow you, you thought you were
going to have a seizure.
You were in that much pain andand and that much pressure in
your head.
I remember, uh, separate, aseparate trip.
(04:40):
We were um, the first day wewere at Disney World that one
time and I thought I was goingto have to take you to like
emergency services or something.
I mean there was just.
There have just been so manydays.
Even you know, the last week,you told me, whatever day it was
, you had some performance thatday and you said you were in
more pain than you've ever beenin your entire life.
And one of the things about youis that you tend to it's funny
(05:01):
you minimize your pain until itbecomes just intolerable or
until it just it's just like themost obvious thing in the world
.
And then you know, you realizeit's how much pain you've been
in, but you've been, just, youknow, in constant pain, you know
, for six months, and I thinkthis was an important, it's an
important thing to discuss.
Why has God forsaken me?
(05:21):
Remember that's that title,where I got that from.
That's from Jesus.
He's hanging on the cross andJesus says why has God forsaken
me?
And so you know, if Jesus saysthat, it's very natural for us
to say the same thing why am Igoing through this?
And it's not just the causalityof it like what have I done to
cause this?
That's not just the causalityof it, like what have I done to
cause this?
That's not what I mean, butmore like you have made a
certain promise, as God.
You say, for example, if anytwo of us are in agreement, that
(05:44):
it'll be done for us on earthas it's done in heaven.
And you and I have stood inprayer and agreed that you'd be
healed of this, and the healinghasn't really manifested itself.
I mean, you've had better days.
You seem improved, but you seemimproved.
But you know there have been.
Like I said, just this pastweek you had the worst day
you've ever had.
So you know the why is not justwhy is this happening, but why,
(06:05):
god, haven't you stopped it?
And I thought it was importantto do this message because you
know it's very easy to turn onsomeone like Osteen and I love
him.
Or you go to church and youhear people's testimonies about
how they've been healed andthey're praising God then and
that's great.
But I think it's also importantfor people to say, look, you
know, you got to praise God evenwhen you're not healed yet.
(06:25):
And this is what it looks likewhen you're going through it,
and it's not the easiest thingin the world.
It is difficult and you aregoing to suffer, but you still
have to.
You have to remain in yourfaith.
The worst thing you can doright, it's exactly what the
enemy wants.
The worst thing you can do is,at this point, abandon your
faith.
So then the enemy gets theglory out of it.
And then, and then you'reyou're completely hopeless at
that point.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
And I'm in just to be real.
I mean, I've, like you said,never stopped being out of pain.
I'm in pain right now as Ismile through it.
And, in fact, just a littlemoment of humor, before we got
on, I hit my leg on the coffeetable.
It's a black and blue and I got.
I got some ice on it, so I saidit as a joke.
Well, I guess this is the waythat God wants to take my um,
(07:05):
the coffee table definitely wonthat round.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Just looking at your toe now.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
So that's, it didn't even hit my toe, it's on my leg,
um, but, but you know, uh, butthat's just my point is that you
got it.
You got to laugh.
You have to laugh through it.
You know, every day I readhealing scriptures and before I
was going through this I alwaysthought, oh, that's wonderful
(07:30):
that God heals, and.
But when it's something real toyou, when you have to go
through it, it really reallybecomes.
You know, you get to a deeperplace in your walk.
That and I and I choose to lookat it that way and I have days,
have had days that I definitelyhave hit low points and just
been human.
And I, I, you know God does notlook at you and say, oh, you
(07:53):
doubted, or oh, you cried or ohyou, you know he does not
dismiss us.
He just wants to hold us in ourpain.
And whether that's a physicalpain or whether it's something
you're going through with griefor loss or you know any sort of
suffering, that I think thebiggest thing is to know that
there is a purpose in it andthat God will deliver you and
(08:16):
his promise is true.
And just keep reading, like Iread scripture every day,
healing scripture and all ofthat and I've really experienced
a deeper place with him and adeeper joy, in a bizarre sense,
than I could have otherwise.
And so you know, don't give up.
Hope, Don't.
That's the biggest thing isthat our minds are the
(08:39):
battlefield right, and so thephysical aspect is one thing,
but for me it's been more of theemotional aspect of like, oh my
gosh, is this ever going to end?
And getting my emotions andgetting my heart in the right
place and knowing beyond what Ifeel physically, getting alone
with God and getting thatsettled and just saying God, I
(09:00):
surrender, I surrender it all toyou.
Getting in that place has beenso beneficial, because that's
the only thing you can do is getin that place and say, god, I
don't understand why this ishappening, but I trust you and
I've gotten to that place and Ihave to say it's a great place
to be.
You know, one of the, I think,the worst things that place, and
I have to say it's a greatplace to be.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
You know one of the, I think, the worst things that
happens, and I understand thereason, the value behind it.
But you know you try to mimicwhat someone else has done, who
received their healing.
And so you know Joel Osteentells a story when his mother
was diagnosed with terminalcancer, how she decided well,
she was just going to go prayfor other people who are
terminally ill or who havesicknesses.
And then you know this was 30years ago and she was cured and
(09:40):
she still lives.
And you think, okay, that's aticket, then If I just do what
Joel Osteen's mother did, thenI'll get the same healing.
Or, minister Derek Prince, youknow he would talk about how
well you're supposed to takemedicine three times a day.
So he received his healing byreading the word of God three
times a day with food, right,you know, breakfast, lunch and
dinner.
That's how you take medicine,so that's how he was taking the
(10:01):
Bible.
And you might think, okay, well, then that's the ticket right
there.
That's what I have to do.
Look, it's not about likethere's a certain spell, you
know, there's not like a certainformula for doing this you
mentioned God has a purpose.
He probably has an infinitenumber of purposes.
You may never even know them.
But if I had to kind of, youknow, pick out one word of
advice from the Bible, it wouldbe from the book of Job, which
(10:23):
is just a hard book to read, man.
I mean, you know, the book ofJob starts basically with God
handing Job over to Satan topretty much do whatever he
wanted.
And Satan not only takeseverything material from him, he
kills his wife and children andeverybody, everybody dies.
And at the end of Job, godgives Job a new wife and more
(10:43):
kids and everything like that.
And you say, well, that's great, but the other ones are also
still dead.
So it's not like replacing acar that was totaled.
You know what I mean.
But what is it that Job says inthe midst of all of this?
He says, though, my Redeemerslay me, yet I know that he
lives, and it's even though I'mgoing through the worst hell.
That is even something beyondwhat I can imagine.
(11:04):
Yet I know he still lives.
And if I had to say, you know,the commonality in any healing,
the commonality in any miracle,whether it's physical or
financial or whatever, is theperseverance to say the thing
I'm going through doesn't refuteGod, it doesn't refute his
promises for me?
Okay, that, even though I'mgoing through this, yet I know
(11:27):
he lives.
Yet I know he has a plan for me.
Yet I know he hasn't forgottenabout me.
Yet I know he is still real,and yet he is, even when he
feels the most distant.
Now he is even more real to methan ever.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, I really believe that there's this
special intimacy that God hasreserved for you if you're going
through something.
I know God doesn't playfavorites and that's not what I
mean, but it's a reshifting ofinstead of saying, why are you
putting me through this?
Whether it's a physical thinglike this or something else,
yeah, but instead it's like Godis bringing you to a special
(12:00):
place and he has somethingspecial just for you, and I know
that sounds really bizarre tobe happy about.
But what is that verse about?
Consider it pure joy when yougo through trials.
I always didn't.
You know that wasn't one of myfavorite verses.
But it is true, you have to takethat attitude because you have
no other alternative first ofall, take that attitude because
(12:25):
you have no other alternativefirst of all.
But it's God wants to bring youto that place of just total
surrender.
And you know, I think that'sthe thing.
I think again, the physical isone aspect, but it's really the
emotional.
I've experienced emotionalplaces that I felt just so I'm a
Christian and God why?
And then reframing that andsaying no, I know that you have
(12:47):
me.
And there's things that I'mgrateful for now that I never
thought I was always grateful.
I was always grateful kind ofperson, but really a new level
of gratitude.
I remember that one day youwere talking about the trip that
I experienced some difficultiesand I remember one day feeling
like I couldn't even get fooddown and thank God that passed
(13:09):
pretty quickly but I am grateful.
That taught me to be gratefulfor every bite of food.
I remember eating that laterthat day when I could get food
down, like oh my gosh, I'venever been so grateful for every
bite of food, I've never beenso grateful.
So there's like every littlestep of the way.
I mean, you know there's beenlittle things that have happened
and big things, and they'vecaused me to be so grateful.
(13:33):
I'm grateful when I feel onepart of my head or something
that's not hurting, or somethingthat's not burning.
I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful for what Godhas and it's concentrating on
that.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You know it's sometimes you mentioned hard to
know God's purpose in this, butit's not very difficult ever to
know the enemy's purpose in thisright.
What is it the enemy comes tosteal, kill and destroy.
And what is it in Job?
See, you and I talked about howit's important never to give
the enemy the microphone right.
Never let him take themicrophone and speak through
your mouth.
(14:05):
But what is it in Job that theenemy keeps wanting Job to say?
Keep saying curse God and die.
Curse God and curse God can meana lot of different things.
It could simply just mean youknow what?
I give up on this.
I give up on God.
You know he doesn't.
You know the plans I thought hehad for me.
He doesn't have.
It could be anything like that.
But if you know that that's theplan that the enemy has for you
, then it's a lot easier, Ithink, to rebuke it and say no,
(14:29):
I'm just going to double down onthis.
I'm going to do the opposite ofcursing God.
I'm going to go deeper into myfaith, deeper into the intimacy.
I love what you said, by the way, about how you feel like
there's a special relationshipwith God.
I kind of think of it as likesort of a family that has
multiple children but one issick or something.
You know who gets all theattention?
It's the one who needs it atthat moment and you know it's
kind of a weird thing to thinkwell, god allows me to be sick,
(14:49):
how could God love me?
And I don't pretend tounderstand that.
I think one of the mistakes wemake is we sometimes try to
understand too many things andother people try to explain too
many things.
This isn't about explaining it.
This isn't about understandingwhat you're going through.
What you're going through isindividual to you.
That's right.
That's between you and God,okay.
This is simply aboutunderstanding that this is not
(15:09):
something that refutes aChristian life.
The Bible says that in thislife, you know, we will have
troubles Many are theafflictions of the righteous but
the Lord delivers them from all.
So the point of this messageisn't to give you sort of a
magic potion and, you know, justread these Bible verses and
you'll be healed.
There are plenty of good onesabout healing.
You know, one of my favoritesdeath and life is in the power
of the tongue.
(15:30):
That's in Proverbs, okay, andthat goes back to what we were
saying.
But this isn't about that.
Yes, stay in the word.
Yes, pray for other people.
You know, yes, absolutely whatKristen said.
You so, yes, absolutely whatKristen said.
Double down and just get closerand more intimate with God.
But, more important than that,understand that if you're going
through something, even when youdon't see the end, when you're
going through something, itdoesn't mean that God doesn't
(15:51):
exist.
It doesn't mean that Goddoesn't care about you anymore.
It doesn't even have to meananything at that moment.
It's just something that youhave to go through, and that's
the time when you really have tojust lean into your faith
instead of reject what you'regoing through as evidence that
your faith is misplaced.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
That's what I'm trying to say and if I was kind
of a run on sentence, I reallyfeel like if you're going
through, you know the physicalor emotional and you need
healing.
Just open the Bible app andtype in the word healing and all
the scripture verses that'llpop up that have to do with
healing.
I've always read them, but ithits you different when you're
going through it.
It really hits you differentand you start to see things that
(16:33):
you never saw before in thereand just the way God cares for
you and the way he loves you.
And you have a testimony.
You have a powerful testimonyand that's the thing is that God
hasn't forsaken you.
He'll never leave you and he'sexperienced suffering, you know.
Think about all the sufferinghe went through for us.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
My final thought on that just build off of that.
You know, the Bible says surelyChrist bore our sicknesses and
our infirmities on the cross,and the cross is what he used to
overcome everything.
So he didn't just bearsicknesses and infirmities, he
overcame them.
And don't forget what happenswhen he's on the cross he dies
and he actually descends intohell.
And when you're going throughsomething like this, it's like
(17:16):
we're in our own personal hell.
But Jesus rose from the dead,he rose from hell, he defeated
hell.
And the same way, even thoughyou can't see it sometimes and
maybe even the outcome isn'twhat you want, maybe you pray
for a loved one and that lovedone doesn't recover and it's
hard to understand how that'sconsistent with God's will.
And all I can say to encourageyou is you don't always have to
understand it, but you do haveto do if you want to get through
(17:40):
it.
If you want to prosper, is youjust have to do.
If you want to get through it,if you want to prosper, is you
just have to double down withGod and use that time to get
even closer rather than furtheraway.
Any final thoughts, beautifulwoman.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You can't do it on your own.
You are a stunning woman, bythe way, thank you.
You are not hard to look at,thank you.
You can't do it on your ownstrength.
It's God's strength.
You know, if I think about, forme, my personal, like Jordan
said, everybody has a story.
So if I think about my personal, we're not here to compare like
, oh well, maybe you havesomething that's worse or
(18:10):
whatever.
For me it's been the hardestthing I've gone through in my
life.
But I think about it and I'mlike well, how am I going
through this?
Because I'm not going throughit alone, I'm not doing it on my
own strength, I can't.
You have to give it up to God.
You just say here, help me, Ijust need you to come in.
You don't try to do it on yourown strength.
(18:32):
Don't try to take this on yourown.
Don't try to prove that you'retough and you know God wants to
take it for you, and that has todo with everything, not just
physical healing.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
By the way, if you see this bruise on Kristen's arm
here, this isn't from me, likegrabbing her.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Look at this you are just yeah, I just kind of have
things that just happen.
I told you ever since you knowit's just for six months, just
wacko little things here andthere.
That's a side note.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Anyway, all right, sweetie, you want to just pray
for everybody here?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yes, well, lord, we thank you that your power works
best in our weakness, god, thereis hope, there is joy, there is
a special place that you havenot forsaken us and, in fact, if
we are going through somethingright now that you are bringing
(19:24):
us to this beautiful, there's apurpose in the pain and there's
beauty for the ashes and thereis something that you have for
us.
There is hope, god.
That's what we need, lord.
We need your hope, we need you,god.
We can't do it alone, we can'tdo it at all, but in you we can
conquer.
You have already conquereddeath.
You have conquered sickness,lord, and you've conquered all
(19:47):
things.
They've trampled them underyour foot.
So, god, we honor you, wepraise you and we pray and I do
pray for total healing foranyone who's suffering, complete
healing mentally, physicallyand emotionally.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
All right guys.
Thanks for joining us.
I hope this has been a blessingto you.
You know we don't reallypromote ourselves enough, but if
you got something out of thisvideo and you're still watching
20 minutes into it and accordingto our data you're probably not
but if you are, go ahead andjust share this video with
anybody who you think might needit and who might be encouraged
by it.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
That's.
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