August 13, 2025 • 28 mins
Send me a Text Message! I am Happy to Hear from You.
What would your life look like if you could finally release the weight of your past hurts?
Freedom begins with acknowledging a powerful truth: every obstacle and painful experience has shaped who you are today. But while these experiences matter, they don't have to dictate your future. In this deeply personal episode, I share a recent conversation that forced me to confront my own unresolved feelings and the valuable lessons it taught me about the letting go process.
The journey toward healing isn't about pretending everything is fine or simply "getting over it." Rather, it's a deliberate, multi-layered process requiring both courage and patience. Like peeling an onion, we often need to release the same pain multiple times before truly finding freedom. Through personal stories and practical insights, I guide you through the six transformative stages of emotional healing: self-reflection, commitment, acknowledgment, acceptance, releasing, and ultimately, forgiveness.
This episode explores how holding onto past hurts drains the energy you need for your present and future. Learn why creating healthy boundaries is essential, why your trauma can become a source of empathy and strength, and why forgiveness is ultimately a gift you give yourself. Discover practical strategies for transforming painful memories into stepping stones for growth rather than stumbling blocks.
Whether you're carrying the weight of choices others made that affected your path, or struggling with regrets about roads not taken, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap toward freedom. Your past may have shaped you, but your healing is what defines you. Take the first step today, and let's walk this journey together.
Warm regards,
Fabio Posca | Journey to Success
Join the Journey to Success Club Now!
Check out my Podcast
Collaboration: info@fabioposca.com
Listen to my latest episode, socials, and more right here!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
what would your life look like if you could let go of
all your past hearts?
A couple of weeks ago, guys, Ihad a conversation with someone
very important to me, and thisperson acknowledged how certain
choices made by othersdrastically changed her path in
(00:24):
life.
Or, to put it in another way,because of them, she thinks she
never had a chance to understandwhat she wanted to do.
Okay, so she expressed regret,of course, believing she would
have made different decisions if, given the opportunity, I told
her to let it go.
(00:44):
First of all, you know, when wetalk about barriers, it doesn't
matter if you have somethingyou enjoy doing or not, and it
doesn't matter if someone madecertain choices that blocked
your path or not.
The point is that obstacles arealways around the corner, are
always within you, and theseobstacles are going to shape you
(01:09):
into the person you are today.
Okay, so it is essential toacknowledge that it is okay to
feel that way.
Being human guys means beingpart of a full twister made of
obstacles, success and progress.
You cannot avoid it.
It doesn't matter where you areor where you want to be,
(01:32):
because all of this is part ofbeing a beautiful human being.
Also, it's not about beingearly or late.
The right time reflects theright moment in your life.
Okay, what is really importantin all of this story is that the
decisions we make right nowshape our future, and that's
(01:58):
what matters most.
And a second point secondly,everything that has happened in
our past is fundamental to whowe are today, guys.
So if we are happy with ourcurrent version of ourselves, we
should focus on the present andhow we can improve our future,
(02:22):
and if we're not satisfied withwho we are, we still need to
focus on the present and findways to improve in the future,
to improve in the future.
So in the end of the story, itis the same thing.
All right, it's the same story.
And here we finally understandthat our journey, the journey to
success, is a healing journey.
(02:44):
Hi guys, my name is Fabio fromJourney to Success, and welcome.
Today we're going to introducethis new concept, the concept of
transformation through healingand creating meaning in life,
emphasizing the importance ofletting go.
But before to go forward, asalways, please subscribe.
(03:07):
So I know this is the rightdirection to lead you guys, to
drive you, to guide you towardsyour journey to success.
Let's get started right.
This is going to be veryinteresting episode.
So, first of all, who is thereal you there?
You is someone who acknowledgedthat the past was important in
shaping the current version ofyourself, guys.
(03:28):
Then this version of yourself,the current one, inspires to be
better and better, optimizingits new identity.
And let's say you're happy withyour life right, let's say that
you are very glad with yourlife, but one day you decide you
(03:49):
want to reinvent yourself.
Okay, fair enough, you canstill do, as long as you know
your direction.
The only thing you need to dois fail, stand up and keep
progressing, all right.
So keep failing, standing upand progressing until you
achieve whatever you want toaccomplish.
Like crickets, guys, you know,as a cricket's body grows, it
(04:12):
clears its exoskeleton.
Also, another essential thing tonote is that if you had a
specific negative experience inthe past, you're more sensitive
in the present, and this is nota bad thing because it shapes us
to who we are, our trueidentity and what we can do with
(04:34):
it.
Maybe we can help someone elsewho has been less lucky than us
and anyway, in this case, youlet it go automatically, right?
So our trauma may still livewithin us, but we can use it to
empower our sensitivity andcreate a strong identity from it
(04:54):
.
So when you reflect on yourpast, guys, you can develop new
values that make you a moreauthentic person, you know.
So, if we look at this way,it's not so bad.
I should listen to this episodeanyway for my trauma.
Anyway, what is the challengehere?
(05:17):
For all of us, it's importantto use your past to your
advantage in the present.
Past to your advantage in thepresent.
But you, you must be uhcautious not to let your past
self dominate your core andthoughts, words and actions,
otherwise you cannot let it go.
Okay, the truth is that lettinggo takes time, guys, and that
(05:41):
that's the reality.
I could give you an entirelecture on this episode, but the
truth is that letting go simplydemands time and patience.
But do you know what is it?
If you are listening to thisepisode, or you know reading
something related, or, let's say, you hear the right words from
(06:02):
the right person close to you,it will make this time shorter.
Just remember, as soon as youleave this grudge about your
past behind, the faster you canuse the same past to your
advantage.
Okay, and I have another examplefor you, anyway, based off
(06:24):
something that happened to mestill a couple of weeks ago it
was kind of the same day, if I'mnot wrong, it was the same day.
I know it happened a lot, but aperson from the past appeared
in the life of someone I'm closeto and, while the situation has
been handled well, theinvolvement of this third person
(06:48):
, the one I care about, as wellas how things evolved, left me
feeling hard, so I felt the needto have an honest conversation
about it.
As a result, guys, I felt theneed to talk to this person I
really care about, and theoutcome is that communication is
(07:09):
essential here.
So you can't just let go ofsomething.
If you have unresolved feelingsand things you want to express,
like in my case, you cannot dothat.
So letting go doesn't meanpretending that everything is
fine.
It means confronting thesituation with the right
attitude.
(07:29):
Another important point is howto create boundaries.
So creating boundaries issomething necessary because you
need to protect yourself and thepeople around you.
So you must protect yourwell-being from energies that
conflict with your own energy.
So you need your energy to beclear and vibrant so you can
(07:52):
work on your goals and futures.
You don't need garbagesituations around you don't need
at all, but when they happenlike it happened to me, like it
happens to you and they happenmore often than you think the
truth is that then you need toface them.
In Italy, we say there is thissaying ingoiare il rospo, which
(08:16):
means swallow the thought.
I believe the Englishequivalent is bite the bullet,
you know.
So it's not just aboutswallowing your feelings.
You must face the situation andlearn from it before letting go
.
Okay, now, did thisconversation that I had with
this person I care about resolveeverything and make me feel
(08:38):
good the next day?
Absolutely not, of course.
I woke up feeling devastated.
Absolutely not, of course.
I woke up feeling devastated.
However, if I kept quiet anddidn't address their arguments,
it would be worse, and Isincerely appreciate this person
being honest with me as well.
And what did I learn from thisexperience?
(08:59):
I don't know.
I don't know yet.
Time will tell, but still I'mconfident that I managed well,
and this bullet experience guys,let's call it in this way will
shape the next version of myself.
I know that you know, embracingthe letting go attitude with
(09:23):
knowledge and strength.
Now, the scenario I mentionedwas a positive one.
Instead, let's discuss theimpact of holding past hearts
and how it can slow personalgrowth and happiness.
First of all, it depends on theintensity of your pain, guys.
The more prominent the pain,the more often you need to let
(09:44):
it go, like layers of the sameonion.
Of course, you must face itfirst instead of swallowing it.
So we say it.
And letting go is not just aone-time event, guys.
It requires reflection andeffort.
It's a habit you you know, andyou need to make a conscious
effort to repeat it before itbecomes automatic.
(10:06):
And especially initially, theresponse to the discomfort to
let it go can be deep, but youneed to go forward, to let the
tension go and to heal the crackcompletely.
You know, it is like yourelease deeper layers of the
same material.
Like I said before, it's likean onion or, you know, like a
(10:27):
bad onion.
So if an onion starts to rot,you need to clean the first
layers, okay.
So it's kind of the same Again.
The purpose of letting go, guys,is not to erase emotions okay,
so I really want to be clearabout it but to acknowledge
their presence and transformyour relationship into something
(10:47):
beautiful and strong, likehelping others to do better than
your previous version ofyourself, for example.
So letting go is a mental stateof clarity, guys, where you no
longer generate extra sufferingfor yourself.
It is a state where you can useyour energy for something more
(11:08):
significant rather than beingpitiful, feeling like a victim
or crying all the time.
You know.
And lastly, holding on to pasthurts can slow personal growth
and happiness.
So it's very important to moveforward.
But how to do that?
Here, I'm going to show you sixof the most powerful ways to
(11:29):
stop holding on to the pain ofthe past and finally let it go.
So, number one we haveself-reflection, right.
Some may ask okay, fabio, okay,very enough, everything
beautiful.
But if I am the victim, right,if I am the one who is hurt, why
(11:49):
should I reflect on my actions?
Why should the other personreflect on theirs?
Trust me, guys, they do.
They reflect it, they doreflect it and they will reflect
it.
They don't need your help toreflect.
Okay, me guys, they do, they'vereflected, they do reflect that
and they will reflect that.
They know they don't need yourhelp to reflect.
Okay, but you should also engagein this process.
Whatever has happened aroundyou generates a response from
(12:10):
you.
All, right, it becomes like achessboard where one person
responds to another.
So, whatever you say, saywhatever you think, you must
always be thoughtful andreasonable, because you know
everything you say, think or dodefines who you are, and you
(12:32):
want to be proud of that person.
Like, hey, you know, I was abadass.
In these circumstances, andwhen you learn to master this
skill, guys and unfortunately Ihaven't mastered it yet you will
feel as if no one can trulyaffect you.
Okay, of course, we're human.
We're human beings withemotions and hearts that beat in
the same rhythm as the ocean'swaves, right, but sometimes,
(12:56):
when the waves are rough, theycan be less enjoyable to dive
into the water, and it is thesame for our emotions.
So, if you maintain a sense ofcalm and consider how much you
can learn from a good attitude,you know, based on
self-reflection, trigger, bypass, heart, the experience can be
completely different, guys, in apositive way, of course.
(13:17):
Number two with commitment.
Of course, number two withcommitment.
So when we are hard, our firstinstinct is often to build a
wall or barrier around ourselves, but when we do this, we limit
our ability to see from theother side, guys.
And of course, if we cannot seethe other side, we miss the
(13:40):
opportunity to learn about whycertain things happen to us or
around us.
I understand that it is okay tobuild a wall, especially if you
are not ready to confront thepast.
It's okay, it's part of oursubconscious, you know, that
wants to protect us, so it makessense.
But it is essential to makesure that you can break this
(14:03):
wall right.
So make sure the wall you buildis not reinforced concrete,
basically.
Otherwise you may never learnand grow.
So remember to heal from thepast, guys.
We must be willing to pushthrough the pain, as pain is
where personal growth andhealing leave.
And once you make thiscommitment, you may feel
(14:26):
disappointment, you can cry,probably, or get angry, but here
is where the healing processbegins.
Okay, number three acknowledgethe pain.
There is a beautiful statementby Paolo Coelho, the writer of
the Alchemist.
He said I don't regret thedifficulties I experienced.
(14:49):
I think they helped me becausethe person I'm today, I feel the
way a warrior must feel afteryears of training.
He doesn't remember the detailsof everything he learned, but
he knows how to strike when thetime is right.
Now, if you acknowledge let'smake a food example, I love food
(15:10):
examples If you acknowledgethat your food is not good,
simply, you'll do better nexttime.
Okay Again, if you recognizethat you are frustrated, you
understand that you need a breakor you want to start meditating
, okay.
So when you acknowledge painand gain a better perspective on
(15:30):
what happened basically, likeyou know, an eagle fly above the
ground you could learn totransform your pain into
something beautiful.
Guys, I'm going to make anextreme example for you.
If your best friend hurt youinitially, you might build, you
know, a wall around yourself, abarrier.
(15:50):
However, if you take a stepback and reflect properly, right
, you may discover reasons forthe conflict that you hadn't
considered before.
You may have done somethingthat wasn't great either, or you
(16:11):
may have done something thatwasn't totally right, and this
highlights the importance ofself-reflection in this context
as well.
It's very important toself-reflect about what happened
around you so you might realizethat your ex-best friend is not
such a bad person after all.
It's just that you haddifferent perspectives.
(16:32):
As you move forward let'scontinue with this example you
might find people in the futurewho align better with your
behavior, right, leading tobeautiful friendships,
sisterhoods, brotherhoods oreven relationships that can last
forever.
But if something goes wrongagain, you know how to deal with
(16:53):
it.
Why?
What is the reason?
Because you have already gonethrough something similar and
painful.
Because you have already gonethrough something similar and
painful and in this case, youalready learned valuable lessons
.
You can still learn morelessons from it, okay, so you
(17:13):
can still learn how to live afulfilled life with the right
people in the future.
Number four acceptance.
You have to accept the pain toshape yourself into something
beautiful.
That's it.
Otherwise, there is no change.
It's simply how it works.
Do you know how a pearl becomesa pearl, guys?
(17:36):
Usually, a stone gets stuckunder the tongue of an oyster,
so the oyster, to remove thestone, tries to smooth it out,
you know, to make it less sharp,and this process is a metaphor
for life for me.
So you need to embrace the painto create something beautiful.
And still talking aboutacceptance, inner damage can
(18:01):
also be dangerous for the brain,leading to negative thought
patterns like I must deservethis or I'll never be good
enough.
So this way of thinking keepspeople trapped in a state of
unworthiness, and that is alsothe reason it is essential to
accept the pain in a way you canfinally let go.
(18:24):
I'm going to tell you a storyabout myself.
So there was a time in my life,guys, as mentioned in my values
well, on Substack, when Imanaged clients' money as an
account manager in the tradingindustry.
I used trading bots, butunfortunately they didn't work
as I expected.
So instead of helping them, itdrained the funds of my clients
(18:49):
and when I realized what hadhappened, I stopped everything,
returned all the money and feltimmense guilt.
Real story Even if the clientswere kind and understanding, I
was very pissed.
I was ashamed of my actions, ofcourse.
So for years I was stuck in amindset where I believed I
(19:12):
didn't deserve success.
For years I told myself that Ihad to face more difficulties,
troubles, before I could achieveanything, sticking to the idea
that I simply wasn't worthy.
Yet you know like I look, likeI put myself in a jail, in a
mental jail.
So that's the kind of damageour minds can inflict on us when
(19:42):
we don't accept what happenedto us and, in a way, to let it
go.
So, when you constantly focus onyour past wounds, guys, you
become a victim also, and thissituation shifts your focus away
from dealing with the actualpain inside.
See, look, look at how muchdamage a lack of self-acceptance
(20:04):
can do if you don't accept painsoon.
So accept pain, accept it, ok.
Number five, releasing.
So, after you engage inself-reflection, make a
commitment, acknowledge yourpain and, lastly, accept it.
So the next step is to releasethose feelings.
(20:25):
Okay, remember that all thesetoxic emotions can manifest as a
physical pain, guys, it's notjust my thought.
Many doctors have documentedhow emotions can lead to various
physical symptoms in the body.
So, if you find it challengingto navigate, you know this
process on your own.
Ask for help, guys, not fromeveryone, but especially from a
(20:52):
qualified professional whospecializes in emotional healing
.
Okay, so it's essential to workwith someone knowledgeable,
rather than just a random personwithout the necessary expertise
.
Knowledgeable, rather than justa random person without the
necessary expertise.
So a skilled professional willapproach each situation
individually, guys, as someindividuals may carry, you know,
deeper emotional wounds,particularly if they have
(21:14):
experienced physical abuse aswell.
So by going through this stage,you may eventually evolve into
something capable of helpingothers.
All right, many spiritualleaders, guys, have faced
physical or mental abuse and nowdedicate their lives to
assisting others.
For example, a person who Ifollow personally on Spotify is
(21:36):
Luis Hoz, host of the School ofGreatness.
Luis Hoz was abused as a child,but today is a great leader.
So these individuals, like youknow, like Louis Hose and
similars, have experienced acomplete healing process, guys,
permitting these leaders toguide others.
(21:58):
But before doing that, we mustaddress the final stage of this
process.
What is the final stage of thisprocess?
What is the final stage of thisprocess?
Of course, forgiveness.
Ah, forgiveness.
It is so hard to forgive.
First of all, you need to gothrough all these previous
stages.
(22:18):
Secondly, forgiveness is theultimate act.
You know that the moment youforgive is the moment you truly
let go.
It is a moment when a part ofyou will leave you forever, a
part that has comforted you forso long, because holding on to
toxic emotions or negativefeelings at the end of the story
(22:44):
, you know, makes them a part ofyou and you become kind of
sorry to let them go.
Okay, I know it's weird,probably it is weird, but I'm
sure you relate to me.
Anyway, the faster you let go,the easier your transformation
(23:05):
into something better becomes.
It's also important tounderstand that when you forgive
guys, when you forgive someone,you do it not only for the
person who caused the heart, butespecially for yourself.
So the moment you forgive pastsituations is the moment you
start living more in the present, and the present is where you
(23:28):
should focus your energy tocreate beautiful things in the
future.
So, if you expand your energyon thinking about the past, so
think about the past, thinkabout what happened Trust me,
you will not have enough energyleft to invest in your present,
okay, which is very importantfor shaping your future.
(23:53):
Now, before wrapping up in thisepisode, what did we do?
We explored the power ofletting go and how past hurts
can affect us, guys.
Okay, we looked at how many ofus carry pain from choices made
by others, or regrets over pathswe couldn't take, for example.
(24:14):
And yet true healing beginswhen we stop blaming the past
and start taking ownership ofour present.
Guys, we discussed howobstacles are not just setbacks.
They're part of what shapes us.
So every challenge you know,every moment of confusion or art
(24:34):
shapes the person we'rebecoming, and while we can't
change what happened, we canchange our relationship to it.
What else?
We discussed the emotionalstages of letting go.
So, self-reflection, commitment, acknowledgement, acceptance,
(24:55):
release and, at the end,forgiveness.
All right, the last act andeach step helps reduce the grip
of the past and brings us closerto who we are.
Okay, people who can grow frompain, not just survive it.
We also acknowledge thatletting go doesn't mean
(25:17):
pretending everything is fine.
Everything is no, it's not likethat.
So sometimes it means havinghard conversations, guys,
setting boundaries and givingyourself time to heal,
especially A process that canshape into a habit or skill that
can be very useful for yourfuture.
(25:37):
And, most importantly, weexplore how self-acceptance is
not a finish line.
It's a daily decision toembrace your truth, to release
what no longer serves you and tobecome someone you are proud of
, because you know your past mayhave shaped you, but your
(25:58):
healing is what defines you.
Now I want to hear from youwhat change are you starting to
embrace when it comes to lettinggo of the past or accepting the
person you are becoming?
Drop a comment below.
Let's open up an honestconversation about healing
identity and the courage ittakes to move forward.
(26:21):
And if this episode spoke to you, guys, don't keep it to
yourself.
Please share it with someonewho might need a reminder that
they're not alone in theirjourney.
Okay, someone ready to releasewhat is holding them back and
step into who they truly are.
Following, as always, guys, isexcellent.
(26:43):
That's okay, that's fine, it'sperfect.
As always, however, sharing iswhat sparks real connection, so
just share this episode.
I'm just happy that together wecreate a space where growth,
honesty and self-acceptance arenot just words, guys, but lived
(27:04):
experiences, in a communitywhere you can always count on
your favorite streaming audioservice or soup stack.
Thank you for being here andfor listening to Journey to
Success and remember every stepyou take to let it go of what no
longer serves you, brings youcloser to the freedom and
(27:25):
clarity you deserve.
I appreciate you all and nexttime stay grounded, stay open
and persist in your growthCheers.
what would your life look like if you could let go of
all your past hearts?
A couple of weeks ago, guys, Ihad a conversation with someone
very important to me, and thisperson acknowledged how certain
choices made by othersdrastically changed her path in
(00:24):
life.
Or, to put it in another way,because of them, she thinks she
never had a chance to understandwhat she wanted to do.
Okay, so she expressed regret,of course, believing she would
have made different decisions if, given the opportunity, I told
her to let it go.
(00:44):
First of all, you know, when wetalk about barriers, it doesn't
matter if you have somethingyou enjoy doing or not, and it
doesn't matter if someone madecertain choices that blocked
your path or not.
The point is that obstacles arealways around the corner, are
always within you, and theseobstacles are going to shape you
(01:09):
into the person you are today.
Okay, so it is essential toacknowledge that it is okay to
feel that way.
Being human guys means beingpart of a full twister made of
obstacles, success and progress.
You cannot avoid it.
It doesn't matter where you areor where you want to be,
(01:32):
because all of this is part ofbeing a beautiful human being.
Also, it's not about beingearly or late.
The right time reflects theright moment in your life.
Okay, what is really importantin all of this story is that the
decisions we make right nowshape our future, and that's
(01:58):
what matters most.
And a second point secondly,everything that has happened in
our past is fundamental to whowe are today, guys.
So if we are happy with ourcurrent version of ourselves, we
should focus on the present andhow we can improve our future,
(02:22):
and if we're not satisfied withwho we are, we still need to
focus on the present and findways to improve in the future,
to improve in the future.
So in the end of the story, itis the same thing.
All right, it's the same story.
And here we finally understandthat our journey, the journey to
success, is a healing journey.
(02:44):
Hi guys, my name is Fabio fromJourney to Success, and welcome.
Today we're going to introducethis new concept, the concept of
transformation through healingand creating meaning in life,
emphasizing the importance ofletting go.
But before to go forward, asalways, please subscribe.
(03:07):
So I know this is the rightdirection to lead you guys, to
drive you, to guide you towardsyour journey to success.
Let's get started right.
This is going to be veryinteresting episode.
So, first of all, who is thereal you there?
You is someone who acknowledgedthat the past was important in
shaping the current version ofyourself, guys.
(03:28):
Then this version of yourself,the current one, inspires to be
better and better, optimizingits new identity.
And let's say you're happy withyour life right, let's say that
you are very glad with yourlife, but one day you decide you
(03:49):
want to reinvent yourself.
Okay, fair enough, you canstill do, as long as you know
your direction.
The only thing you need to dois fail, stand up and keep
progressing, all right.
So keep failing, standing upand progressing until you
achieve whatever you want toaccomplish.
Like crickets, guys, you know,as a cricket's body grows, it
(04:12):
clears its exoskeleton.
Also, another essential thing tonote is that if you had a
specific negative experience inthe past, you're more sensitive
in the present, and this is nota bad thing because it shapes us
to who we are, our trueidentity and what we can do with
(04:34):
it.
Maybe we can help someone elsewho has been less lucky than us
and anyway, in this case, youlet it go automatically, right?
So our trauma may still livewithin us, but we can use it to
empower our sensitivity andcreate a strong identity from it
(04:54):
.
So when you reflect on yourpast, guys, you can develop new
values that make you a moreauthentic person, you know.
So, if we look at this way,it's not so bad.
I should listen to this episodeanyway for my trauma.
Anyway, what is the challengehere?
(05:17):
For all of us, it's importantto use your past to your
advantage in the present.
Past to your advantage in thepresent.
But you, you must be uhcautious not to let your past
self dominate your core andthoughts, words and actions,
otherwise you cannot let it go.
Okay, the truth is that lettinggo takes time, guys, and that
(05:41):
that's the reality.
I could give you an entirelecture on this episode, but the
truth is that letting go simplydemands time and patience.
But do you know what is it?
If you are listening to thisepisode, or you know reading
something related, or, let's say, you hear the right words from
(06:02):
the right person close to you,it will make this time shorter.
Just remember, as soon as youleave this grudge about your
past behind, the faster you canuse the same past to your
advantage.
Okay, and I have another examplefor you, anyway, based off
(06:24):
something that happened to mestill a couple of weeks ago it
was kind of the same day, if I'mnot wrong, it was the same day.
I know it happened a lot, but aperson from the past appeared
in the life of someone I'm closeto and, while the situation has
been handled well, theinvolvement of this third person
(06:48):
, the one I care about, as wellas how things evolved, left me
feeling hard, so I felt the needto have an honest conversation
about it.
As a result, guys, I felt theneed to talk to this person I
really care about, and theoutcome is that communication is
(07:09):
essential here.
So you can't just let go ofsomething.
If you have unresolved feelingsand things you want to express,
like in my case, you cannot dothat.
So letting go doesn't meanpretending that everything is
fine.
It means confronting thesituation with the right
attitude.
(07:29):
Another important point is howto create boundaries.
So creating boundaries issomething necessary because you
need to protect yourself and thepeople around you.
So you must protect yourwell-being from energies that
conflict with your own energy.
So you need your energy to beclear and vibrant so you can
(07:52):
work on your goals and futures.
You don't need garbagesituations around you don't need
at all, but when they happenlike it happened to me, like it
happens to you and they happenmore often than you think the
truth is that then you need toface them.
In Italy, we say there is thissaying ingoiare il rospo, which
(08:16):
means swallow the thought.
I believe the Englishequivalent is bite the bullet,
you know.
So it's not just aboutswallowing your feelings.
You must face the situation andlearn from it before letting go
.
Okay, now, did thisconversation that I had with
this person I care about resolveeverything and make me feel
(08:38):
good the next day?
Absolutely not, of course.
I woke up feeling devastated.
Absolutely not, of course.
I woke up feeling devastated.
However, if I kept quiet anddidn't address their arguments,
it would be worse, and Isincerely appreciate this person
being honest with me as well.
And what did I learn from thisexperience?
(08:59):
I don't know.
I don't know yet.
Time will tell, but still I'mconfident that I managed well,
and this bullet experience guys,let's call it in this way will
shape the next version of myself.
I know that you know, embracingthe letting go attitude with
(09:23):
knowledge and strength.
Now, the scenario I mentionedwas a positive one.
Instead, let's discuss theimpact of holding past hearts
and how it can slow personalgrowth and happiness.
First of all, it depends on theintensity of your pain, guys.
The more prominent the pain,the more often you need to let
(09:44):
it go, like layers of the sameonion.
Of course, you must face itfirst instead of swallowing it.
So we say it.
And letting go is not just aone-time event, guys.
It requires reflection andeffort.
It's a habit you you know, andyou need to make a conscious
effort to repeat it before itbecomes automatic.
(10:06):
And especially initially, theresponse to the discomfort to
let it go can be deep, but youneed to go forward, to let the
tension go and to heal the crackcompletely.
You know, it is like yourelease deeper layers of the
same material.
Like I said before, it's likean onion or, you know, like a
(10:27):
bad onion.
So if an onion starts to rot,you need to clean the first
layers, okay.
So it's kind of the same Again.
The purpose of letting go, guys,is not to erase emotions okay,
so I really want to be clearabout it but to acknowledge
their presence and transformyour relationship into something
(10:47):
beautiful and strong, likehelping others to do better than
your previous version ofyourself, for example.
So letting go is a mental stateof clarity, guys, where you no
longer generate extra sufferingfor yourself.
It is a state where you can useyour energy for something more
(11:08):
significant rather than beingpitiful, feeling like a victim
or crying all the time.
You know.
And lastly, holding on to pasthurts can slow personal growth
and happiness.
So it's very important to moveforward.
But how to do that?
Here, I'm going to show you sixof the most powerful ways to
(11:29):
stop holding on to the pain ofthe past and finally let it go.
So, number one we haveself-reflection, right.
Some may ask okay, fabio, okay,very enough, everything
beautiful.
But if I am the victim, right,if I am the one who is hurt, why
(11:49):
should I reflect on my actions?
Why should the other personreflect on theirs?
Trust me, guys, they do.
They reflect it, they doreflect it and they will reflect
it.
They don't need your help toreflect.
Okay, me guys, they do, they'vereflected, they do reflect that
and they will reflect that.
They know they don't need yourhelp to reflect.
Okay, but you should also engagein this process.
Whatever has happened aroundyou generates a response from
(12:10):
you.
All, right, it becomes like achessboard where one person
responds to another.
So, whatever you say, saywhatever you think, you must
always be thoughtful andreasonable, because you know
everything you say, think or dodefines who you are, and you
(12:32):
want to be proud of that person.
Like, hey, you know, I was abadass.
In these circumstances, andwhen you learn to master this
skill, guys and unfortunately Ihaven't mastered it yet you will
feel as if no one can trulyaffect you.
Okay, of course, we're human.
We're human beings withemotions and hearts that beat in
the same rhythm as the ocean'swaves, right, but sometimes,
(12:56):
when the waves are rough, theycan be less enjoyable to dive
into the water, and it is thesame for our emotions.
So, if you maintain a sense ofcalm and consider how much you
can learn from a good attitude,you know, based on
self-reflection, trigger, bypass, heart, the experience can be
completely different, guys, in apositive way, of course.
(13:17):
Number two with commitment.
Of course, number two withcommitment.
So when we are hard, our firstinstinct is often to build a
wall or barrier around ourselves, but when we do this, we limit
our ability to see from theother side, guys.
And of course, if we cannot seethe other side, we miss the
(13:40):
opportunity to learn about whycertain things happen to us or
around us.
I understand that it is okay tobuild a wall, especially if you
are not ready to confront thepast.
It's okay, it's part of oursubconscious, you know, that
wants to protect us, so it makessense.
But it is essential to makesure that you can break this
(14:03):
wall right.
So make sure the wall you buildis not reinforced concrete,
basically.
Otherwise you may never learnand grow.
So remember to heal from thepast, guys.
We must be willing to pushthrough the pain, as pain is
where personal growth andhealing leave.
And once you make thiscommitment, you may feel
(14:26):
disappointment, you can cry,probably, or get angry, but here
is where the healing processbegins.
Okay, number three acknowledgethe pain.
There is a beautiful statementby Paolo Coelho, the writer of
the Alchemist.
He said I don't regret thedifficulties I experienced.
(14:49):
I think they helped me becausethe person I'm today, I feel the
way a warrior must feel afteryears of training.
He doesn't remember the detailsof everything he learned, but
he knows how to strike when thetime is right.
Now, if you acknowledge let'smake a food example, I love food
(15:10):
examples If you acknowledgethat your food is not good,
simply, you'll do better nexttime.
Okay Again, if you recognizethat you are frustrated, you
understand that you need a breakor you want to start meditating
, okay.
So when you acknowledge painand gain a better perspective on
(15:30):
what happened basically, likeyou know, an eagle fly above the
ground you could learn totransform your pain into
something beautiful.
Guys, I'm going to make anextreme example for you.
If your best friend hurt youinitially, you might build, you
know, a wall around yourself, abarrier.
(15:50):
However, if you take a stepback and reflect properly, right
, you may discover reasons forthe conflict that you hadn't
considered before.
You may have done somethingthat wasn't great either, or you
(16:11):
may have done something thatwasn't totally right, and this
highlights the importance ofself-reflection in this context
as well.
It's very important toself-reflect about what happened
around you so you might realizethat your ex-best friend is not
such a bad person after all.
It's just that you haddifferent perspectives.
(16:32):
As you move forward let'scontinue with this example you
might find people in the futurewho align better with your
behavior, right, leading tobeautiful friendships,
sisterhoods, brotherhoods oreven relationships that can last
forever.
But if something goes wrongagain, you know how to deal with
(16:53):
it.
Why?
What is the reason?
Because you have already gonethrough something similar and
painful.
Because you have already gonethrough something similar and
painful and in this case, youalready learned valuable lessons
.
You can still learn morelessons from it, okay, so you
(17:13):
can still learn how to live afulfilled life with the right
people in the future.
Number four acceptance.
You have to accept the pain toshape yourself into something
beautiful.
That's it.
Otherwise, there is no change.
It's simply how it works.
Do you know how a pearl becomesa pearl, guys?
(17:36):
Usually, a stone gets stuckunder the tongue of an oyster,
so the oyster, to remove thestone, tries to smooth it out,
you know, to make it less sharp,and this process is a metaphor
for life for me.
So you need to embrace the painto create something beautiful.
And still talking aboutacceptance, inner damage can
(18:01):
also be dangerous for the brain,leading to negative thought
patterns like I must deservethis or I'll never be good
enough.
So this way of thinking keepspeople trapped in a state of
unworthiness, and that is alsothe reason it is essential to
accept the pain in a way you canfinally let go.
(18:24):
I'm going to tell you a storyabout myself.
So there was a time in my life,guys, as mentioned in my values
well, on Substack, when Imanaged clients' money as an
account manager in the tradingindustry.
I used trading bots, butunfortunately they didn't work
as I expected.
So instead of helping them, itdrained the funds of my clients
(18:49):
and when I realized what hadhappened, I stopped everything,
returned all the money and feltimmense guilt.
Real story Even if the clientswere kind and understanding, I
was very pissed.
I was ashamed of my actions, ofcourse.
So for years I was stuck in amindset where I believed I
(19:12):
didn't deserve success.
For years I told myself that Ihad to face more difficulties,
troubles, before I could achieveanything, sticking to the idea
that I simply wasn't worthy.
Yet you know like I look, likeI put myself in a jail, in a
mental jail.
So that's the kind of damageour minds can inflict on us when
(19:42):
we don't accept what happenedto us and, in a way, to let it
go.
So, when you constantly focus onyour past wounds, guys, you
become a victim also, and thissituation shifts your focus away
from dealing with the actualpain inside.
See, look, look at how muchdamage a lack of self-acceptance
(20:04):
can do if you don't accept painsoon.
So accept pain, accept it, ok.
Number five, releasing.
So, after you engage inself-reflection, make a
commitment, acknowledge yourpain and, lastly, accept it.
So the next step is to releasethose feelings.
(20:25):
Okay, remember that all thesetoxic emotions can manifest as a
physical pain, guys, it's notjust my thought.
Many doctors have documentedhow emotions can lead to various
physical symptoms in the body.
So, if you find it challengingto navigate, you know this
process on your own.
Ask for help, guys, not fromeveryone, but especially from a
(20:52):
qualified professional whospecializes in emotional healing
.
Okay, so it's essential to workwith someone knowledgeable,
rather than just a random personwithout the necessary expertise
.
Knowledgeable, rather than justa random person without the
necessary expertise.
So a skilled professional willapproach each situation
individually, guys, as someindividuals may carry, you know,
deeper emotional wounds,particularly if they have
(21:14):
experienced physical abuse aswell.
So by going through this stage,you may eventually evolve into
something capable of helpingothers.
All right, many spiritualleaders, guys, have faced
physical or mental abuse and nowdedicate their lives to
assisting others.
For example, a person who Ifollow personally on Spotify is
(21:36):
Luis Hoz, host of the School ofGreatness.
Luis Hoz was abused as a child,but today is a great leader.
So these individuals, like youknow, like Louis Hose and
similars, have experienced acomplete healing process, guys,
permitting these leaders toguide others.
(21:58):
But before doing that, we mustaddress the final stage of this
process.
What is the final stage of thisprocess?
What is the final stage of thisprocess?
Of course, forgiveness.
Ah, forgiveness.
It is so hard to forgive.
First of all, you need to gothrough all these previous
stages.
(22:18):
Secondly, forgiveness is theultimate act.
You know that the moment youforgive is the moment you truly
let go.
It is a moment when a part ofyou will leave you forever, a
part that has comforted you forso long, because holding on to
toxic emotions or negativefeelings at the end of the story
(22:44):
, you know, makes them a part ofyou and you become kind of
sorry to let them go.
Okay, I know it's weird,probably it is weird, but I'm
sure you relate to me.
Anyway, the faster you let go,the easier your transformation
(23:05):
into something better becomes.
It's also important tounderstand that when you forgive
guys, when you forgive someone,you do it not only for the
person who caused the heart, butespecially for yourself.
So the moment you forgive pastsituations is the moment you
start living more in the present, and the present is where you
(23:28):
should focus your energy tocreate beautiful things in the
future.
So, if you expand your energyon thinking about the past, so
think about the past, thinkabout what happened Trust me,
you will not have enough energyleft to invest in your present,
okay, which is very importantfor shaping your future.
(23:53):
Now, before wrapping up in thisepisode, what did we do?
We explored the power ofletting go and how past hurts
can affect us, guys.
Okay, we looked at how many ofus carry pain from choices made
by others, or regrets over pathswe couldn't take, for example.
(24:14):
And yet true healing beginswhen we stop blaming the past
and start taking ownership ofour present.
Guys, we discussed howobstacles are not just setbacks.
They're part of what shapes us.
So every challenge you know,every moment of confusion or art
(24:34):
shapes the person we'rebecoming, and while we can't
change what happened, we canchange our relationship to it.
What else?
We discussed the emotionalstages of letting go.
So, self-reflection, commitment, acknowledgement, acceptance,
(24:55):
release and, at the end,forgiveness.
All right, the last act andeach step helps reduce the grip
of the past and brings us closerto who we are.
Okay, people who can grow frompain, not just survive it.
We also acknowledge thatletting go doesn't mean
(25:17):
pretending everything is fine.
Everything is no, it's not likethat.
So sometimes it means havinghard conversations, guys,
setting boundaries and givingyourself time to heal,
especially A process that canshape into a habit or skill that
can be very useful for yourfuture.
(25:37):
And, most importantly, weexplore how self-acceptance is
not a finish line.
It's a daily decision toembrace your truth, to release
what no longer serves you and tobecome someone you are proud of
, because you know your past mayhave shaped you, but your
(25:58):
healing is what defines you.
Now I want to hear from youwhat change are you starting to
embrace when it comes to lettinggo of the past or accepting the
person you are becoming?
Drop a comment below.
Let's open up an honestconversation about healing
identity and the courage ittakes to move forward.
(26:21):
And if this episode spoke to you, guys, don't keep it to
yourself.
Please share it with someonewho might need a reminder that
they're not alone in theirjourney.
Okay, someone ready to releasewhat is holding them back and
step into who they truly are.
Following, as always, guys, isexcellent.
(26:43):
That's okay, that's fine, it'sperfect.
As always, however, sharing iswhat sparks real connection, so
just share this episode.
I'm just happy that together wecreate a space where growth,
honesty and self-acceptance arenot just words, guys, but lived
(27:04):
experiences, in a communitywhere you can always count on
your favorite streaming audioservice or soup stack.
Thank you for being here andfor listening to Journey to
Success and remember every stepyou take to let it go of what no
longer serves you, brings youcloser to the freedom and
(27:25):
clarity you deserve.
I appreciate you all and nexttime stay grounded, stay open
and persist in your growthCheers.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!