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June 27, 2025 20 mins

Discovering a slower, more intentional way of living wasn't something I planned—it found me in a tiny village in southern Italy. After growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, where success was measured by prestigious schools, expensive cars, and designer clothes, I always felt slightly out of alignment. Something deep inside told me there was more to life than the superficial values that seemed to dominate California culture.

That feeling led me on a winding path. First to Tennessee, which became home for nine years, and then—unexpectedly—to this small Italian town where my husband and I now own a home. The moment I first arrived here three years ago, my body responded with an unmistakable sense of rightness that I couldn't ignore. The Italians have a beautiful concept they live by called "Il Dolce Far Niente"—the sweetness of doing nothing. It's not about laziness but about the profound joy found in simply being present without the constant pressure to produce, achieve, or accumulate.

What I've discovered through this journey is how powerfully our environment shapes us. The places we live, the cultures we immerse ourselves in, and the values they prioritize can either nurture or hinder the life we truly want to create. As my husband and I prepare to split our time between Italy and Dubai (yes, another adventure awaits!), I invite you to consider your own environment. What do you genuinely value? How do you want to live? Does where you currently call home support those values? There's no need to make dramatic changes all at once, but staying open to possibilities—whether they're across town or across oceans—might lead to a life more aligned and fulfilling than you can currently imagine. After all, we have freedoms previous generations couldn't dream of. Why not explore them?

If something in this resonates, I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you're curious about life in Italy or our upcoming adventures abroad, you can follow my Substack below where I share more detailed reflections about living between cultures and the lessons they continue to teach me.

Mentioned in this episode:

Substack Post: The Life I’m Still Learning to Live

Podcast: A Voyage Through Pages and Places

Subscribe to my Substack HERE

Follow me on Instagram HERE


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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, loves, welcome to this week's episode.
I'm so happy to be here withyou this week.
I am still saying hello to youfrom this little town in Italy
that I mentioned in my lastepisode.
I actually wanted to talk alittle bit more about that with

(00:24):
you because it's a very realchange that's happening in my
life, or that has been happeningin the background for the last
couple of months almost a fewyears now actually and it's that
we have a home here, a smallhome in the southern part of

(00:46):
Italy, and I wanted to sharewith you kind of how that
happened and how that came intofruition, because it was
something that we weren'tactually planning on doing, but
it kind of just happenedplanning on doing, but it kind

(01:10):
of just happened.
And, yeah, it's officiallyhappened.
So we shipped our furniturefrom the US here, from our home
in the US, to our home in Italy,which we've had for the last
year and we've been renovatingand such.
So I wanted to talk about howthat happened.
Maybe it inspires some of you tothink about other places that

(01:32):
you might have been wanting toexplore or live in.
There are so many places out inthe world and I feel like
sometimes getting out of theplace that we call home.
What we've grown up in andaround.
You know our family and justour kind of day-to-day life can

(01:55):
be really hard for some of us tostep away from.
But there is such a whole bigworld out there that we're not
even aware of and there canactually be places that might
even be more supportive for you,that you don't even know of.
And for me it's kind of funnybecause I've always known, since

(02:18):
I was very young, that I didn'twant to live my whole life in
the US.
I grew up just outside of LA, inCalifornia, and for anyone that
has ever been to California, orparticularly to Los Angeles,
you'll know that that's a worldwithin itself.
It's such a big city, there'salways something going on, but

(02:44):
it wasn't always for me and Ifelt that pretty early on when I
was getting out of high schooland getting into college.
It's kind of when I felt it themost of knowing that I didn't
want to be there.
I was just always pretty awarethat what people valued in
California particularly in LAand the people that maybe I was

(03:08):
surrounded by, but it's justvery prevalent in LA it's that
the values that I had didn'treally align with the world
around me.
So I didn't want to be in thatsuperficial mentality of oh,
what school did you go to, orwhat car do you drive, or what

(03:30):
you wear, you know, that's kindof what people look at and care
about, it's.
You know, oh, I went to USC orUCLA and those are very great
things, but there's also so muchmore to life than the city that
we live in.
You know the clothes that wewear, the car that we drive, if
we went to a prestigious schoolor not.

(03:51):
So I felt that a lot growing upand I just knew that it wasn't
for me.
So I actually thought aboutdoing lots of different things
and all of them kind of involvedmoving to some degree.
I knew that I wanted toexperience something else.
I wanted to experience theworld.

(04:12):
I wanted to go exploredifferent places, countries.
I didn't get the opportunitywhen I was younger to really
travel, so I was so thirsty forthat to learn about the world.
I'm such a curious person and Iknew that travel was going to

(04:33):
be something that was importantto me in my life.
So I was thinking about, like,all the different things that
could bring that experience intomy life at that point.
So I thought about joining thePeace Corps.
I thought about going to schoolin the UK or somewhere else
abroad.

(04:53):
I was looking at, you know,going to Oxford or even a school
in France, or I even thoughtabout doing culinary school in
France as well.
That was something else that Iwas really interested in.
So that deep desire to want toexplore a different country, a

(05:15):
different culture, have new lifeexperiences, that was always
very much there.
Now, at that age, when I wasyounger, it didn't really end up
playing out that way.
I did end up moving, but notacross the world.
It was to Tennessee, which hasbeen my home for the last nine

(05:36):
years or so, and that's alsochanging and that's a story for
another time.
And this is part of that story.
This is one of the two pieces.
So when this opportunity cameup to buy something here, it was
a very easy yes, because thisplace that we found this tiny

(06:01):
little city, it's really avillage in the southern part of
Italy felt more like home to methan almost any other place that
I had lived in my life.
It was just something that Iimmediately felt.
Being here, this felt morecomfortable to me, it was the

(06:23):
pace of life.
You know what people valued.
It was the quaintness of it.
It was so many different things.
It was a richness of theculture and you know, thankfully
, this was something that myhusband and I both shared and
felt.
You know equally strongly aboutand I've talked about this in

(06:47):
other episodes but the spacethat you live in, I've talked
about environment, andenvironment can look like the
home that you live in, the citythat you live in, the people
that you surround yourself withwith.
But environment as a whole hasso much power over our life.

(07:07):
It can either support you tolive a life that is more aligned
with you and your values, or itcan make it harder for you, it
can deter you away from youactually living a life that is
more fulfilling for you.
So environment is so importantand I'm very conscious about

(07:29):
that.
So when we came to visit thisplace for the first time almost
three years ago four years agoactually it immediately stood
out to me.
I just felt it in my body.
My body felt so different beinghere.
It felt so calm, centered,aligned.

(07:51):
It felt so many things that itdidn't necessarily feel 100%
being in Tennessee, even thoughthat's still a very different
way of life, and I've talkedabout in another episode, too,
why I love Italy so much, andthis place has become more and

(08:14):
more important.
It's a place that I've fallenin love with more as time has
gone on.
There's so many reasons why itholds a special place in my
heart.
It holds a special place in myheart, but one of them is this
more softer and slower way oflife that the Italians seem to

(08:34):
have and that's something that Ihave been consciously making an
effort to do in my life is tolive my life in this way, and
I've discussed that as well.
You know in the past of how thisis a journey that I am
continuously on, and it'ssomething that you just see so

(08:57):
much here.
You know, no one is rushingthrough their life or worried
about the material things thatultimately don't matter.
Everyone is very much livingday-to-day in the moment,
focused on what they're doing,the people that are with what's

(09:18):
going on around them and justenjoying their life and living
it so fully and with intention.
They're finding joy in theirevery day.
They're finding time forconnection, for their family and
work, unlike so many othercountries around the world,
especially the US, where it canshadow every other aspect of our

(09:44):
life.
It's only one aspect of lifehere.
It is not the main thing.
That is, on the contrary, justenjoying life and spending time
with people that you enjoy andspending time doing things that
you enjoy.
That's actually more importanthere than what you do for work

(10:07):
and what you do as a living.
Life is really the maincharacter here, every aspect of
it.
It's just as equally important.
I think even here, just havingwork that is slightly more
fulfilling is more important.
Feeling like you have a sense ofpurpose important Feeling like

(10:32):
you have a sense of purpose anddoing something that you love,
even if it doesn't make youloads amount of money or you
only work a couple of hours aweek, something that still
contributes to your overallwell-being.
These are very real differencesto so many places and cultures
around the world that we know.
So what's really highlightedhere is that slowness, that

(10:55):
presence, that ease that theItalians are always striving to
live with, and they don't reallystrive, they kind of just do it
.
It is so embedded in them.
I feel especially more in theSouth.
I mean, if you go anywhere inItaly you are so going to feel

(11:16):
it, but in the South, I feellike life is even slower.
They have a name for it too it'scalled Il Dolce Farniente,
dolce far niente, which kind ofmeans the sweetness of doing
nothing, and they just learn howto enjoy and indulge in just

(11:38):
being and not worrying so muchabout doing.
It's literally about enjoyingthose moments in your life of
just not doing anything at alland not being afraid to do
anything at all, and I actuallywrote a Substack post about this
that I'm going to link below ifyou want to follow me there.

(12:02):
I'm starting to write onSubstack, and a lot of it is
going to be about my life abroad, between living in Italy and
soon, our life in Dubai, butalso just travels and how that
teaches me things all the time.
So I am going to leave a linkto the Substack that I just

(12:27):
published about this,particularly talking about y
dulce forniente and just somereflections that I've had about
that.
But they truly have a word forit, because it is such a central
part of their being, of theirculture, and it's so amazing to
see.
I feel like there is so muchthat we can learn by watching

(12:49):
people live in this way, becauseyou come to realize that the
things that you thought thattruly mattered don't, and you
also just learn to lean intothat.
So I'm super excited to sharethis journey that I am on with
my life here, but also just thetransition that my husband and I

(13:13):
are making right now, which isultimately spending more time in
our home in Italy, here, butalso the move that we are making
in the next couple of months toDubai, so the US will no longer
be our home, and I am sofreaking excited about that.
I can't even tell you we willbe coming and visiting family

(13:36):
and all of those things, but I'mso excited to go on another
adventure and go learn.
You know, being with othercultures, another way of being.
There is so much that we canlearn about ourselves, about
other people.
I feel like that is one sureway to build compassion is to

(14:00):
expose yourself to other peopleand other ways of life.
Even though we think that we'redoing it right, that's actually
not true.
There is no one way to do life.
So opening yourself up to that,to be a student of the universe
, to learn from those around you, even if they live life a

(14:20):
different way.
I think that if we actually didthat more, everyone, our world
would be a bit more peacefulbecause there's space for
everyone and more or lesseveryone's beliefs, as long as
they're not harming anyone.
So it's just a way to open thatdoor up to compassion and being

(14:42):
more open to everyone else inthe world.
So I'm really excited to sharethat all with you.
But for today, I just want youto think about what do you value
in your life?
This is something that Iconstantly come back to because
it, honestly, is the anchor toevery other aspect of your life.

(15:02):
How do you want to live yourlife and do you feel like the
place that you're living in, theplace that you called home?
Is that actually supportingthose two questions what you
value and how you want to liveyour life?
And if not, is there anotherplace that can possibly best

(15:26):
support that and you can makeslow progress with that?
It doesn't have to be sodrastic like moving to another
country, but it could simply beyou living in another city.
In the state that you live in,it can be moving to a completely
different country.

(15:46):
If that feels good to you, youcan make baby steps towards
something like this if you feellike your environment is not
aligned with whatever it is thatyou want?
And if you do want to move, doa bigger move if that is to
another country or to anotherstate within your country.

(16:07):
How can you do that slowly, ina more grounded way that maybe
isn't as scary as moving in thenext month or two, even though
that's going to work for some ofus.
I know when I made the decisionto move to Tennessee, it was, I
think, like a month betweencoming back home from visiting

(16:31):
Tennessee for the first time andmaking the move.
It was very quick for me, butthat doesn't mean that's how it
needs to be.
Sometimes the more gradualapproach is what works and just
being open and really honestwith yourself If you feel like
you desire something else foryourself in this realm, if you

(16:52):
want to actually live anotherlife.
You know we don't need to betied to one place.
That's a very old way ofthinking.
Maybe our previous generationsthey very much did have to do
that.
You know mom, dad, grandparentswere more tied, but us more
than ever.
I'm talking about my generation.

(17:13):
You know the millennials, orGen Z, gen X, you know all
future generations to come, butI think millennials really
changed that and it's that wedon't need to be tied into one
place to work or to be or tolive, and that really should be
something that fills us with somuch joy and the thought and the

(17:37):
ability that we can call someother place that maybe wasn't as
easily accessible before homenow.
It should fill us with just somuch joy and elation that we get
to experience that if we wantto.
So if there has been a placethat you have been wanting to
explore whether it is a wholeother city, a whole other state,

(18:03):
a whole other country writedown, just journal after this
episode, why you feel called tothat place.
What do you think that placecan offer you that wherever you
are right now might not beoffering you?
What do you think that thatplace is going to allow you to

(18:26):
experience and just sit withthat for a while?
You don't need to make anydecisions, but know that those
things that come up and that youwrite about and that you think
about, that you dream about,they're not by accident.
So if there is something thatmaybe came up that you're like,

(18:47):
whoa, this is very big, I can'timagine ever doing something
like that, don't limit yourselfA.
You don't have to make adecision right now, but just be
open to the possibility, even ifyou're not making any decisions
right now, because life cantruly blow you away in ways that

(19:11):
you could not even imagine.
And what if your life in anotherstate or another country was
exactly what you needed?
And it could be even moreincredible than your life where
you are now.
And it's just about us beingopen to those possibilities, to

(19:31):
that potential.
So be open.
Life is so incredible.
There are so many places thatyou can experience in the world.
It really is such an incredibletime to be alive, to be able to
do these things, to just get ona plane and, if you are in

(19:52):
Europe, to, in two hours, be ina completely different place,
immersed in a completelydifferent culture, and there is
so much that we can learn fromall of these places, and I'm
excited to share that part of myjourney with you here in Italy
and all the other places that Iam so thankful that I get to

(20:16):
experience, and our life in theUAE too.
So I look forward to talking toyou all in my next episode.
I am sending you so much loveUntil then.
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