November 23, 2025 • 66 mins
Some stories hit like a brick and still manage to open a door. This conversation with author and empowerment alchemist Rhonda Farrah walks straight into the hard places—federal prison, stage-three breast cancer, divorces—and shows how surrender, self-respect, and service can turn raw experience into real power. Rhonda doesn’t posture as a survivor; she thrives, and she teaches the rest of us how to do the same with practical tools that start in the mirror.
We unpack what “fix your reflection first” actually looks like: choosing self-love without the if-then conditions, detaching from the how, and shifting from frantic chasing to calm receiving. Rhonda’s core formula—gratitude plus forgiveness—comes alive through a two-letter practice you can do today: forgive yourself on paper, then forgive the person who hurt you, without ever mailing the letter. The result is lighter, clearer energy that frees you to assume the relationships, health, and work you truly want. Along the way, we talk about the Law of Assumption, how fear and love create different thoughts and outcomes, and why asking for a sign can move you from doubt to direction.
We also zoom out to timing and meaning. With numerology as a lens, Rhonda explains why this is a nine year of endings and how to enter the one year of beginnings with intention. The invitation is simple and brave: release what doesn’t serve you so you can receive what does. If you’re ready to rewrite the story you tell yourself, build community without the “it’s hard” script, and treat your life like the gift it is, this conversation meets you where you are and points you toward what’s next.
If this resonated, follow, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review. Want support? Reach out to Rhonda at helpmerondanow.com or rhonda@helpmerondanow.com, and tell us: what are you releasing before the new year?
Explore Rhonda's group coaching container: Fix Your Reflection First...And Live Your Best Life Ever! @ https://helpmerhondanow.com/group-coaching
Let's connect on social media! You can find me @ _journeytowell
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be well, my friend
xx Hannah
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (01:11):
Hello, and welcome back to the podcast Journey to
Well.
I am your host, Hannah, andtoday I am joined with Rhonda
Farah.
She is an author, she's anempowerment alchemist coach,
she's a speaker, she's anentrepreneur, a spiritual
teacher.
We have a very fun and I wouldhypothesize uplifting and
(01:34):
positive conversation andmessage to share today.
So uh Rhonda also is a 4-6sacral generator.
We were just kind of touching onhuman design.
So that might come up in ourconversation a little bit.
I like to teach human design ina more naturalistic kind of spur
of the moment, learn in littlechunks rather than have a huge
(01:56):
human design podcast every week.
So that's where human designcomes into play in the podcast.
But Rhonda, thank you so muchfor coming on.
Thank you for taking your time.
And I would love to give you themicrophone to introduce
yourself.
Who is Rhonda?
What hats do you want to put onfor today's introduction?
And then we'll get into ourconversation.
SPEAKER_02 (02:19):
Okay.
Well, first of all, Hannah, it'smy pleasure to be here.
Thank you for having me as yourguest.
And I would dare to guarantee avery inspiring and motivating
conversation between us for ourcommunities to view and listen.
(02:41):
Let me give you a littlepersonal background.
I'm the oldest of five, threebrothers and one sister.
And through oh, about thirdgrade, we all grew up in an
extended family.
Some people know what that is.
It's under one roof.
There were 13 people at anygiven time.
(03:03):
So there's five was five of us,my parents, grandparents, aunts,
great aunts.
And it was an environment ofprimarily women, and uh lots of
love and lots of discipline.
So I grew up in an environmentwhere not that men don't
(03:25):
nurture, but nurturing goes towomen primarily.
So I learned how to be anurturer, the oldest of five.
Um I was the role model, whetherI wanted to be so or not, um,
which was always a treat.
And um it paved the way for meto go into the field of
(03:51):
psychology, psychotherapy, to beof service to others,
educational counseling.
Um, and that's what I did.
I that's exactly what I did.
So I credit the way I grew upfrom a very young age that
instilled me with being anurturer, with nourishing
others.
(04:11):
We'll get to whether or not Iwas nourishing myself as we move
on here.
That's a little bit of the yeah,okay.
That's um that's some personalbackground.
Um, and while I have plenty ofeducational degrees and
certifications, my credentialsare really my life, which began
(04:35):
uh, well, on a subconsciouslevel, well before midlife, but
began with a series of somepeople call them crises, I call
them escapades and adventures.
Yes, adventures.
Okay, and they include umincarceration, breast cancer, uh
(04:55):
a minimum of two divorces, veryclose together, and financial
collapse.
So I learned I learned twothings.
First of all, I call it God, Iwas raised Judeo-Christian,
whether you call it universe,source, spirit, the divine, that
(05:16):
essence, that presence wastrying to get my attention early
on, and I just was notlistening.
And finally, um divine source,God put me in a major timeout
for nearly seven years in awoman's federal prison camp.
(05:37):
No bars, okay.
And I learned how to findthrough my subconscious mind,
primarily, the gift and theblessing in that, which served
me through the other adventuresthat I went through.
Um, so my attention wasdefinitely in the forefront now
(06:02):
because I found myself in anincredible situation that I
never thought I would be in, aperson who has never had uh a
speeding ticket, never took anydrugs.
Um, it's like, what am I doinghere?
And the thing to remember,because this is what I teach, is
whatever it is, we call itforward.
(06:25):
Whatever it is, and many peopledisagree with that and they
don't want to hear it.
No, we do call it forward.
Our subconscious mind, she'sworking over time, she knows
what we need better than whatour conscious mind knows.
So we call it forward, and thenwe get to decide what we're
going to do to learn whatever itis we have to learn.
(06:46):
Some people call them lessons,some people call them other
things, but we learn what wehave to learn.
So through these adventures, Iput the term on myself,
alchemist.
And many people say, What is analchemist?
What do you do?
Well, I help others, because I'mthe poster child, I help others
(07:11):
take all the joys and thesuccesses as well as the
challenges, the struggles, theadversity, the sorrow, that not
so good stuff, and make it workfor them rather than anything
less.
So that's where that comes from.
And when I say my credentialsare life, primarily, I have
plenty of tools,psychotherapist, alchemist
(07:32):
toolbox.
I draw from them on a regularbasis, and we can get into some
practical things for ourlisteners and our viewers as we
go on.
But that was when I becamededicated to awakening hearts,
minds, and most especiallyspirit, to our innate power from
(07:53):
within, our authentic power fromwithin, which is the power to
thrive rather than merelysurvive, regardless of
situation, circumstance,happenstance, regardless of
where we end up, regardless ofwhat we call forward.
Brief introduction.
SPEAKER_01 (08:12):
I could listen to you all day, Rhonda, honestly.
So thank you for that.
I love your choice of words inadventures because I know myself
included that we go throughsituations in our life, and
especially as we're goingthrough them, it's very
(08:34):
difficult to see this as anadventure, an escapade rather
than some terrible, horriblething or whatever, or a crisis,
like you worded it.
I like that um opposing word aswell.
I'm curious if this mindset wasseeded or planted before these
(08:57):
adventures began, or if that'sreally throughout the
incarceration, the cancer, thedivorces, is that really where
it was birthed?
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Um, I think it was birthed.
We all have our script.
It was birthed well before anyof my adventures.
Um, and it was looking to comeout, but it, you know, Rhonda
wasn't cooperating.
And that's why my attention hadto be gotten.
And I think everybody'sattention is gotten one way or
(09:30):
another.
It starts with little pebblesthat cause ripples, then maybe a
two by four has to come out.
And I got a brick, okay.
I got a brick because God,mother and father, God said, uh,
I won't use any expletives, butthe it's okay, this woman is not
listening, she's not getting it,she's going in a major timeout,
(09:53):
and I did.
And that began the journey offine-tuning tuning.
That began the alchemy versionof my life because alchemy is
the precursor chemistry.
So when you are are alchemizing,it's you like you take you take
these rough stones and they turnget turned into a gem, precious
(10:15):
metal or otherwise, and that'sexactly what happened.
Now, I didn't plan it again,subconscious mind, but I called
it forward.
I wasn't conscious of what I wasdoing, but I was calling forward
what I needed to be the bestversion of myself, which
everyone can do, and hencethat's when my brand changed
(10:39):
four or five years ago when Ireally got serious about this.
When you fix your reflectionfirst, your own reflection,
whether you look in the mirror,a pane of glass, your phone, uh
fix your reflection first andlive your best life ever,
(10:59):
because that's where it begins.
If and I talk a lot aboutself-love, liking yourself,
self-respect.
Oh, there's my God breath.
You'll hear that throughout thecourse of this uh conversation.
My God breath indicates this iswhat you should say, you're on
the right track, go for it.
People need to hear certainthings.
(11:21):
So I got real good at listeningfrom within, and I got real good
with learning how to appreciatemyself, with learning how to
love and appreciate myself justthe way I am now, just the way I
was.
Learning how to fall in lovewith who I am becoming, and that
(11:47):
is something that I think ourlisteners and viewers would like
to know how to do.
SPEAKER_01 (11:53):
Yeah, I would really like to dive into that because I
I first of all, I love thistagline, if you want to call it,
uh, your brand of fixerreflection first, and something
that I know that my communityand I think the world really
loves learning about my kind oflanguaging is learning how to
trust your intuition, learninghow to trust that inner voice.
(12:16):
And I use it through the lens ofhuman design, oftentimes, which
is a really beautiful tool.
But I am curious how you I thinkit's very easy for us to fall in
love with the version ofourselves that we feel would be
worthy, right?
(12:37):
So if I lose 10 pounds, thenI'll find my husband.
If I get this degree, then Iwill get my dream job.
If I buy this car, then myfriends will find me, you know,
more powerful, more attractive,whatever it is.
Oftentimes this if-thenstatement.
(13:00):
And to be able to fall in love,like you said, with exactly who
I am today.
And you said somethinginteresting and who I was, which
that's that's an interestingaddition to this statement.
That I would argue is is ourlife, is our life journey, is is
our life lesson, is falling inlove with who I am in this
(13:24):
moment and trusting and andbelieving that I'm going to be
in love with myself tomorrow andin the version of me a year from
now, which may or may not havethe things that are on my
manifestation list of taking thejob and getting the husband and
you know, moving to this newarea.
So, how and we can get practicalhere.
(13:46):
I I love tools.
Um, how do we begin this journeyof fixing our reflection first?
And really, what does that meanto you?
And and how has that shown up inyour life?
How did that alchemizethroughout your life?
SPEAKER_02 (14:02):
Well, I think the how it show has shown up in my
life is I may have thought it,but did I really and believed
it, but did I really know it?
So to know, know for me that Iwas whole, perfect, and
complete, even with theadventure of women's federal
prison camp, even with theadventure of breast cancer, uh,
(14:26):
even with the divorces, thefinancial collapse.
I'm still whole, perfect, andcomplete, just the way I am.
So maybe I was looking all thoseyears before my adventures,
yeah.
Every time I looked in themirror, I caught my reflection
in a pane of glass.
Oh my god, Rhonda, you are sobeautiful, you're intelligent,
(14:46):
you're articulate.
Geez, you love to cook, you loveto garden, you're athletic.
Um, I've been a distance runnerfor 50 years now, and it's like,
did I really know that?
Yeah, I was saying it, probablynot.
So I called forward somethingelse, lots of stuff that were
(15:09):
things that I've are proud ofthe not so good stuff I refer to
them.
I don't think anything is uhnegative.
I think it's not so good, it'snot what we expect.
But my point is I was getting inmy own way.
Now, the Mayans have aninteresting uh thing because um
(15:33):
I'm I can trip real easily.
Okay.
Three weeks ago I took a trip, Itook a fall, and a minute I
thought, oh, okay, well, how amI getting in my own way?
When I had these series ofadventures, those were what
others called failures.
Failures I fell.
(15:54):
The purpose of falling is so youcan get up.
So how do you get up when youfall?
Okay, you get up, you get up,gather yourself and say, okay.
There is a gift and the and ablessing in women's federal
prison camp.
There is a gift and a blessingin breast cancer, nearly stay
(16:15):
stage three.
I had a lump on my breast 11months before I was released
from prison, and I was not doinganything about it until I got
home.
There is a gift and a blessingin divorce.
We'll get to that.
And there is a gift and theblessing and all that
not-so-good stuff that happensto us because it happens, and
(16:36):
I'm not immune to it at all.
And I love immediategratification as much as the
next person or more sometimes.
However, there is something tobe said about what we have in
our life that's long-lasting,reasons, seasons, and some are
longer than others.
(16:57):
When it takes a little longer toget where we think we want to
be, we may be getting in our ownway.
And it's but it's much morelong-lasting.
So when people say to me, Well,if you could have changed these
things in your life, I know Iwould have had everything just
(17:18):
the way it is.
Just the way it is, because Ilearned about myself.
So as I went through theseescapades, these adventures, I
noticed something about myself.
The very thing that I had lostway back when, my sense of self
with a capital S was nowemerging.
(17:39):
The onion skin was being peeledaway.
Okay.
When you peel an onion, thereare tears in most cases.
Through all of my adventures, Ihad tears and I had laughter,
and that's a sign of growth.
So anybody who's crying orlaughing, you're growing.
Yeah, like it.
(17:59):
Oh it may be sticky business foryou sometimes.
You just may not like it, butyou're growing.
And that's what we're meant todo: to grow and to evolve.
SPEAKER_01 (18:13):
I love the capital S, self and rediscovering
yourself.
Do you think that a lot of thisgrowth, this rediscovery, this
alchemy, I have found in my lifethat it often comes in the
really, I will swear, reallyshitty situations that you well,
(18:38):
yeah.
I was going to say that youdon't ask for, but I actually
really love your perspective ofyour subconscious calling it in
for a reason.
And I think that's a reallypowerful mindset shift.
But do you my question is do youfeel that this growth?
Do we ever grow when we'recomfortable when there's not
(18:59):
shit happening?
No, no.
SPEAKER_02 (19:02):
I'm glad you brought that up.
Is it I'm writing my memoirs andthey'll be done spring of 2026?
But the name of it, the workingtitle is Growing Where I Am
Planted.
My journey in conform inconsciousness to transformation,
my journey in my consciousnessto my transformation.
And you know how I came up aboutthat?
(19:23):
I'm in Colorado Springs rightnow, and I will be in
Connecticut before the end ofthe year, which is where I grew
up.
And I'm running around inColorado Springs about three
years ago, and here is veryweird weather.
It snows, but then it melts.
So it snowed, but it was thetime when things were blooming.
(19:44):
And here I am running along, andin between the curb and the
sidewalk, somewhere.
I was in the street, in betweenthe curb and the sidewalk, I
looked to my left, and there isa marigold coming up.
And I said, Oh my god, I took apicture of it.
And that hence growing where weare planted.
Now, those are pretty adverseconditions for the marigold to
(20:07):
say, Oh, good, spring is here,wherever that seed came from.
I mean, it's hard enough.
It's not, it's in this weirdsoil kind of, you know, sand
between the curb and thesidewalk, but it's still
beautiful, it's growing whereit's planted.
And the way when we all have theshit going through our lives,
because yeah, you said it veryprolifically, that's the what
(20:29):
happens.
Um, I help people take the joyas well as the shit and make it
work for them rather thananything less.
So to grow where one is planted,one must find the gift and
blessing in whatever they'regoing through.
And you're right, it's moretimes than not.
(20:50):
It's when it's shit, when it'snot, oh, things aren't really
going that well.
Uh and believe me, I'm noPollyanna.
I like immediate gratification.
Okay.
However, my sister says, Oh,Pollyanna's at it again.
And so I said, No.
Um, so when we take that, whenwe understand what the gift and
(21:13):
the blessing is, no matter whatwe're going through.
You want an example of my own?
SPEAKER_01 (21:18):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:20):
After about a year in women's federal prison camp,
I stopped banging the phoneagainst the wall, saying to
whoever I was talking to, get meout of here.
I don't belong in here.
I stopped.
I stopped, and what and whatended up happening is that's my
aha breath.
(21:40):
That's where that came from.
That was my point of surrender.
Whether I realized it or not,that was absolutely my point of
surrender.
I stopped that shit.
And I that's the subconsciousthat did that.
And I just said, there's the ahabreath.
Oh well.
That began my journey.
(22:01):
That I found the gift and theblessing, regardless of where I
was.
I began to write more, I beganto read more.
I was asked to teach wellnessclasses to my fellow inmates.
I was the only inmate teaching.
And it was part of this program.
Uh they called it the drugprogram.
Those people with drug charges,whether they were using, taking,
(22:26):
whatever they were doing withdrugs, could get a year off
their sentence if they took thiscareer curriculum.
So I was teaching and I lovedit.
I taught my own version ofwellness, had nothing to do with
drug addiction or anything elseor substance abuse, but I was
teaching how emotionally andthought-wise, cognitively, we
(22:47):
can what you said earlier, putourselves in the mindset to be
in well-being rather thanill-being.
After about a year of doingthat, I went to my counselor and
I said, Do you think I could geta year off my sentence?
Because I'm teaching.
(23:07):
Yeah.
And he said, Um, no, you don'thave a drug crime.
I didn't.
And so I'm nonviolent, no drugs,nothing like that.
As a matter of fact, after Iserved my time, my sentence was
expunged.
SPEAKER_01 (23:23):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (23:24):
Okay, but that's a that's another, that's another
episode.
So, but my point is that when Ithat was said to me, I didn't
say, what the hell do you mean?
You're an asshole.
I didn't say any of that.
I said, Oh, oh well, I did.
I can remember it like it wasyesterday.
I went on my way, and because Ihad surrendered, I was content
(23:48):
in taking the gift and theblessing that that particular
escapade had pivoted me rightback into being of service to
others.
Never in a million years did Idream it was going to be there.
SPEAKER_01 (24:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (24:00):
Never, never.
But it was.
So I could have been a victim, Icould have been disgruntled, I
could have been uh a lot ofthings, but you know,
victimhood, martyrdom, it'sreally not that attractive on
me.
So I went on, but there werestill possibly these things
underlying um that wereaffecting me, but I didn't
(24:24):
really know.
Yeah, you know, when you I missmy family, I had a daughter, I
have a daughter now, and wentthrough that and knew that
something else was coming downthe lane in 2005 for me.
Because when I was released, Iwent immediately to my own
doctors, and uh had a then Ithey scheduled me for a biopsy
(24:50):
and none other than breastcancer awareness month, October
of 2005.
I went and the once the phonecalls started, they kept coming.
What did what was the biopsy?
What's going on?
Well, my words were I rememberthem like it was yesterday.
Not the best news, but not theworst news.
(25:12):
My daughter had said to me, Whenare we gonna get a break?
You just came home, and I said,Dear, understand, I will be
dancing at your wedding and Iwill see my grandchildren.
And I was, and I did.
I don't know where that camefrom.
It was a God thing.
(25:33):
Things that I don't know wherethey come from, they're God
things for me.
So that all happened, but whatthe whole prison adventure
taught me was that I have thewherewithal.
This was more painful.
This is looking, I'm looking atmortality in nearly stage three
breast cancer, and I'm thinking,this is incredible.
(25:57):
I'm an athlete.
Why is this happening?
Okay, then I started to lookinto the research a little more.
Two things happen.
First of all, the research bearsthat when breast cancer in women
is because we do not know how tonourish or nurture ourselves.
(26:17):
We're good at it with everyoneelse.
But when it comes to us, notnecessarily, and I my hand goes
up for that.
Yeah, I wasn't nourishing andnurturing myself.
Yes, I was taking care ofmyself, I was in great health
and the whole thing.
But what was going on for me?
Maybe I felt less than, maybe Ifelt like I was not enough.
(26:38):
That's how, as women, we gothere.
Okay, we go there.
Yeah, now I got this thing on myhead, my forehead, this label.
I hate labels, by the way,called felon.
Okay, let's add that to the notenough.
Okay, let's add that.
So it was then that the alchemyhat really was put on.
(27:03):
And another thing happened.
I don't like hospitals, I don'tlike doctors.
And even though the surgeon saidthis can be chemically treated,
that meant chemo, uh, that wasstill music to my ears.
I don't want to do it.
Okay, I didn't want to do any ofthat stuff in the hospital and
(27:25):
the cutting and the radiation.
I don't want to do any of that.
Um, so a friend of mine camehome and gave me a card to a
medical Qigong practitioner.
More music to my ears.
I went to see him, and threeweeks it was a series of
chanting, uh prayer, somechanges in the diet.
(27:51):
And at the time I had dogs, sohere I am chanting in front of a
huge mirror, a whole wall ofmirrors, and the dogs are
howling.
That was the vibration that waswhat was happening, and that was
what was supposed to happen.
So, about three weeks, thisperson says, Go back to your
oncologist and have anotherultrasound, because Western
(28:17):
medicine has the best diagnostictechniques.
Went back, my daughter's withme, and my oncologist she says
to me, Rhonda, I don't know whatyou're doing, but you're
shrinking your tuber.
And my daughter's head spunaround on her neck, and she
said, You're buying this fuckingshit too.
(28:39):
Honest to God.
Sorry about the F-word, but no,I'm not sorry.
Um, so it was at that point Istill had this fear of the
hospital, of chemo, of all thatother stuff, and I made up my
mind.
No, I'm gonna go through Westernmedicine as I still continue to
(29:00):
do eastern medicine as well,which helped me with side
effects with what I was goingthrough, but I did it.
I I I needed to do it formyself, and I had I was again
the gift and the blessing andeverything.
The gift and the blessing inthat situation is I still had a
(29:22):
window of time even throughchemo.
Believe me, I wasn't runningvery fast, but I was jogging,
and I had a window.
Chemo was on Thursday, right upto chemo, and then I was down
and out by Saturday.
I was in bed, and that's okay.
(29:43):
Rest of time is good too.
Um, but my point is I I couldstill do some things, I had very
little side effects.
I lost my hair, but most peoplesaid you look like a prophet, so
I said, I'll take that, I'lltake that.
New style.
New style.
Okay, so uh that is over with.
(30:05):
I did have an adverse reactionto some of the chemo, but I was
ready to plow right through anddo it.
And my doctor said, Oh no,you're done for today.
We'll see you in two weeks.
And but I was I was ready, Iknew I had the power within me
to do this because I hadovercome the fear.
It's interesting.
I only believe in two emotions,fear and love.
(30:27):
This is how it works.
When we feel fear, right here,because this is where it begins
in our heart space.
And that's where the God of myunderstanding is, begins in our
heart space.
What we're feeling, whetherwe're feeling fear, we produce
these thoughts that produce ourexternal world.
Feeling love, we produce otherthoughts, which produces a
(30:50):
different external world.
I bring that up in this breadthe breast cancer escapade for
one very important reason,because it then came to my
attention that 45% of women withbreast cancer that were a lesser
degree than my stage three.
Don't make it.
(31:10):
They expire.
That's it.
They make their transitionearlier than they thought they
were going to because that's themindset.
I was never a victim.
I don't say battle, my battlewith cancer.
I had no battle with cancer.
I had an incidence of breastcancer.
I'm not a breast cancersurvivor.
(31:32):
I'm a breast cancer thriver.
And again, I began teaching tomy fellow people.
And I had to go in the hospitalto do that for group every week.
But I did.
Again, pivoted back right tobeing of service to others.
It was a long serendipitousroute from prison to breast
(31:56):
cancer and then the rest of thestuff.
But my point is, I found thegift and the blessing.
I at least I was open to that.
I wasn't closed-minded.
I didn't like what washappening.
However, I knew I would not onlyovercome it, I would be better
for it.
And I was, and I am, and Icontinue to be.
(32:20):
And I finished my chemo, andthen comes to the day of
cleaning out margins.
Once again, my daughter was withme.
It's my right breast.
I have a wonderful uh incidenceof breast cancer scar there, and
no one's ever complained.
And I love her just as much as Ilove this one.
So I went, I'm in the surgicalcenter in beautiful Monterey,
(32:44):
California, and I have the bestbreast guy there is, my surgeon.
That's what he was referred toas in all of the Americas.
And I said, Okay, I'm lying inthe gurney and looking out this
window on a beautiful day.
Nurse comes over who would laterbe my OR nurse.
And she said, Rhonda, can I getyou something?
(33:05):
I go, No, I'm just having alittle talk with God.
I know everything's gonna be allright, but I just asked God for
a sign.
She's looking at my hair and shegoes, Oh, your peach fuzz coming
back, growing back fine.
She pulls her skull cap back.
This is my OR nurse, I foundout.
Pulls her skull cap back and shesays, Maybe your hair will grow
(33:27):
back like mine did.
She had gone through theincidence of breast cancer.
She was my sign.
You're gonna be all right,Rhonda, because there's more
work for you to do.
It's time, Rhonda, to take allyour messes and make them into a
message to help others.
(33:48):
That was a very explicit sign.
Very explicit sign.
And I remember her till today.
But and here's the other thing: don't be afraid to ask. (33:57):
undefined
I don't care who or what youbelieve in.
Ask and know that you're notalone.
You're not alone, ask, knock,and the door shall be open.
Ask, you shall receive.
You don't ask, well, whose faultis it that you didn't ask?
(34:21):
So it's it's very it this allgoes back to it's our
responsibility to go within.
It's our responsibility.
If we wish to live the life wedesire, perhaps the life we
dream about.
It's our responsibility.
Don't wait for the government,don't wait for your spouse,
don't wait for your boss, yourcolleagues.
(34:43):
It's you, it's you.
You cannot change anyone, butyou can change yourself and
watch when you change somethingabout yourself, even a small
thing, watch how everything andeveryone changes around you.
It's largely the psychotherapyhat came off as well because I
(35:04):
got tired of people saying tome, What why is it taking so
long?
I've had a very lucrativelucrative practice in
Connecticut.
Why is it taking so long?
Why can't you fix it?
And I remember one individual inparticular, and she said, after
two sessions, barely two, shesaid, This isn't working.
(35:27):
I go, well, how long did it takeyou to have this estranged
relationship with your daughter?
She looked me in the eye andsaid, Oh, it took me years.
Took me years, and to get thisway with my daughter.
And I go, you know, honey, I'mgood, but I'm not that good.
So I'm not your gal.
(35:48):
And we parted.
You see, it's not my right normy obligation to want for
someone what they do not wantfor themselves.
It's no one's right norobligation.
Work on yourself, put thespotlight on yourself and say,
shit, look in the mirror.
This sucks the way things aregoing.
(36:11):
So what is it?
And where that's where we start.
When I say to someone, what doyou want?
I don't know.
Well, what don't you want?
I'll give you a real lifeexample.
A woman said to me, I want arelationship that's not as bad
as the one I have.
About a year later, she gotexactly that.
(36:32):
It was bad, but not as bad, andnot as bad.
That's tough.
Understand what is it that youwant?
SPEAKER_01 (36:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:45):
Sometimes, and and some people are afraid, and I
used to be this way.
I used to be a people pleaser.
Yeah, that I shared that alone.
I don't care what people thinkabout me.
I really don't.
I care, but I don't care.
I care about what I think aboutmyself.
When people adopt that, what doyou think about yourself?
And what would you like tochange to think of yourself in a
(37:07):
better way?
Because that is the beginning.
It's not just attractive, it'sthe law of assumption.
You assume the goodness in yourlife.
I'm not just talking about apartner.
SPEAKER_01 (37:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:19):
If you respect yourself, if you like yourself,
if you love yourself, if youesteem yourself, if you
appreciate yourself, that's whatyou will assume back to you, not
just in a romantic relationship,other relationships in your
life, in your career, where youlive, who you keep company with.
(37:42):
It's so important, yet it's sooverlooked because in our
immediate gratification society,we want a wand waved over us.
And I have a Harry Potter wand,but I don't use it.
I just like to look at it, touchit because it's it takes work,
(38:03):
it takes work, and we must dothe work.
I can't do the work for ahundred people, even in the
groups I teach.
I can't do you got to do thework, and we're learning from
each other.
I learn as much from my studentsand participants, or maybe more,
(38:23):
than they learn from me.
Because I'm open.
I'm open.
SPEAKER_01 (38:28):
Yeah, I I say that all the time, that I learn so
much from the people that I workwith, and I really do feel that
the things that I have called inthe quickest, that law of
assumption, I love that.
It's it really does go back toour mindset and our belief
(38:50):
systems and the stories that wetell ourselves.
I always give the example of umthere's a moment in my life
where I found myself leaving aseven-year-long relationship in
a city that I had lived in forabout three years, but really
didn't have any community,didn't have any friends.
(39:10):
And um so I bought, I still wearthis necklace.
If you're watching the video,you can see it.
It's just a little, it's just alittle like tent, actually, with
a diamond in the middle.
SPEAKER_02 (39:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (39:20):
Um, but I bought this, it was it was from a
company and they send you alittle like write-up.
So the the title of thisnecklace is tribe, and it talks
about your tribe and how youcall in the people of your life.
And um, and I set the intentionthat I am going to build my
tribe here in in Jersey City atthat time.
(39:42):
I'm gonna build my tribe where Iam, a physical one because I
have beautiful, amazing friends,and they all tend to be in the
other areas of my life that I'velived.
So at that time, North Carolina,Georgia, New Hampshire.
And um, and I never once hadthis story in my mind that it's
hard to make friends.
(40:03):
And I know that that's a storythat a lot of adults, I'm gonna
say adult women, but but adultmen, just adults in general, a
lot of adults tell themselvesbecause it is work, right?
It's not, it's not, um, I don'teven want to say it's not easy.
It is work, but it was never thethe subscription that I paid for
(40:25):
to tell myself that it's hard tomake friends.
And I did.
I made beautiful friends, andthen I moved to different areas,
and now I'm in New Hampshire,and I continue to find these
beautiful, and I love thatassumption.
I assume these beautiful peoplein my life.
And all of the all of that tosay that all of the things that
(40:49):
have come most easefully to meare things that I never doubted
in my mind.
And it's the things that I doubtin my mind and the stories that
I get caught up in.
It's gonna take this amount oftime, or I need to get this
degree before I do this thing.
Those have been the mostcomplicated.
(41:10):
And I don't really know, kind oflike you, I don't know where
that came from of like it's notdifficult to make friends.
Um, whereas other things in mylife I know that I I overthink,
overcomplicate, and hold myselfback from.
But yeah, that's what I wasthinking about when you were
sharing your stories.
(41:30):
It's the things that that webelieve.
Um, and and we have to do thework sometimes to believe them
or work through the fear thatyou're assessing.
SPEAKER_02 (41:40):
To know, to know, to know.
You make an interesting point.
Um when you say you wereovercomplicating things, and you
know, we all do it, and this isbecause I know the people that
consult with me, that I coachaudiences that audiences that I
(42:04):
speak with and two are well,this is what I want, but I don't
have any idea how I would getit.
And the first thing I say isdon't worry about the how.
And the second thing I say isdetach from the outcome.
If this is what you want, writeit on a piece of paper.
Yeah, can be for your eyes only,but write it because 95% of us
(42:29):
learn visually.
Write it on a piece of paper,and don't worry about the how,
but listen because you are goingto receive.
They will then start calling in,receive.
You're not gonna chase.
There's a difference betweenchasing and receiving.
If you keep chasing, you'renever gonna receive.
(42:50):
It's like you're chasing itaway, you're chasing your
blessings away.
Listen, and you were going tobring in the resources, the
people, places, situations,circumstances, and events to get
you what you want.
And I recently wrote a post justyesterday life is a gift.
(43:18):
Sometimes gifts aren't wrappedwith a bow, but it's a gift.
So understand that yourfailures, relationships,
whatever you've been through,etc.
They're gifts.
I had a string whether it wasdivorce or failed relationships.
I needed to stop a pattern, andthat was about the time I was
(43:41):
looking in the mirror andsaying, Oh, I'm attracting, I'm
assuming that I'm not enough.
And this is who I'm attractingand assuming into my life.
This is what I'm receiving, andbelieve me, I'm very grateful
for all my failed relationships.
(44:02):
I get I am.
It's two of them are from women,and I learned, I thank them very
much because I learned how tolove, appreciate, esteem, like,
and respect myself.
Without that, it couldn't havehappened.
(44:25):
I'm leaving the state ofColorado.
I've been here for four years,and for about two years, my
friends, I was in California.
Another divorce brought me hereto a work project, and now I'm
going home.
But I'm often asked in person,and um hosts on shows, podcasts
(44:50):
have asked me, you know, youknow, you talk about love a lot.
Have you met anyone?
I said, I'm so glad you asked methat.
Yes, I have.
She's intelligent, she'sarticulate, um, she's a
knockout, a real catch, a realfind.
She loves to cook, she'sathletic, she loves to garden.
(45:15):
And her name is Rhonda Farrow.
Start there.
Start there, our listeners, ourviewers, start with you.
You know, I'm not saying I'm notopen to love, however, it's
gonna be a different versionthis time, and I will assume
(45:38):
into my life someone who lovesthemselves.
That's it, and I'll leave themalone to love themselves, and
they'll leave me alone to lovemyself, and then we'll come
together and fall again in lovewith ourselves and each other.
That's what that's how ithappens, that's what the
(45:58):
alchemist says, okay.
I I I want to there's a toolbecause not only am I asked,
what is an alchemist?
Who are you?
I'm asked, how you talk aboutliving an empowered lifestyle.
(46:18):
What is that?
How do I do that?
I said, Well, I'm an alchemist.
I have a formula for you.
Here's a formula gratitude plusforgiveness equals living an
empowered life, living the lifeyou desire, perhaps the life you
dream about.
Let's go back to the formulahere.
(46:38):
Okay, gratitude.
We we're all into that.
I write it every morning andevery evening, from the smallest
to the largest things.
You could say it, but okay,gratitude, everybody can go
along with that.
Sometimes not that easy to lookin the mirror and say, okay,
what do I like about myself?
What am I grateful for?
(47:01):
What in the what lately has haveI said to myself and has someone
said to me regarding howgrateful I am, regarding how
grateful they are for me to bein their life?
So gratitude's okay.
Now we get to the sticky bunhere: forgiveness.
(47:22):
Oh boy, forgiveness has got areal bad rap.
Have you ever heard someone sayI would never forgive them for
what they did to me?
I said, Well, you must if youwant to live an empowered life,
if you want to, that's yourchoice.
What do you mean?
I said, Let me give you a I'llgo into my toolbox and I'll ask
(47:48):
an audience or a client or agroup that I'm teaching, get out
a piece of paper.
That can be daunting for somepeople, and there's you're gonna
have two pieces of paper whenyou're done.
The first piece is write aletter to yourself and forgive
yourself, because again, that'swhere it begins.
SPEAKER_00 (48:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (48:11):
Oh, but it was so-and-so's.
Well, I said we're gonna get tothem in a minute, however, write
a letter to yourself.
I'll use myself as a and exit asan example, if I may, for our
viewers and our listeners.
Dear Rhonda, I've been meaningto write to you for some time.
(48:33):
First of all, how are you?
Okay, there's the aha breath.
Rhonda, you know when you wentto prison, when you never did
your due diligence and you youwere so stupid you got left
holding the bag.
Do you uh when uh you got breastcancer?
(48:56):
When you got breast cancer,Rhonda.
Rhonda, when you had multipledivorces or failed
relationships, I know you didnot mean to hurt me.
I'm writing to myself.
No, you did not mean to hurt me.
And I forgive you.
That's it.
Do what you want to do with theletter.
(49:18):
Rip it up, put it down thegarbage disposal, flush it down
the toilet, burn it, do whateveryou want.
Let it go into the wind, rip itup, though.
And that's that.
Now you have forgiven yourself.
It's done and over with.
Next, letter number two.
This causes massive shifting inseats, although no one has ever
(49:40):
walked out of a room, but theyhave cut me off on the zoom and
say, get the letter.
Here's the letter.
I want you to write to someonewho has harmed you, who has hurt
you.
I want you to forgive them.
unknown (49:56):
Can't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (49:58):
Well, wait a minute, you don't have to mail the
letter.
I really okay.
A sigh comes over me.
Let's write a letter.
Dear person who has hurt me.
Remember when you betrayed me,you cheated on me, you caused my
financial collapse, youdisrespected me.
(50:20):
See, you've come it's all right,it's good.
I know you did not mean to hurtme, and I forgive you.
Boom.
See, forgiveness need not have abad rap because what people
assume is that if you forgivethem, you're letting them off
the hook.
(50:42):
Non-forgiveness is likeingesting poison and expecting
the other person to die.
It's just not gonna happen,okay?
It's not gonna happen.
So this is non-forgiveness isthe emotional, it's the
cognitive link to either toill-being, to dis-ease.
(51:07):
I guarantee you forgive yourselfand you forgive someone else
with this method, this thesepractical tips.
I don't want it on your phone oron your computer.
Get a letter out and write inyour handwriting.
Okay, you will feel so muchlighter.
Yeah, that's the paving.
That's the pain.
Why would you foster fornon-forgiveness?
(51:30):
Why would you ingest poison?
Do you want to be physicallyill, mentally ill?
Because that's what it causes.
Resentment, disappointment.
I'm no stranger or immune to anyof that.
SPEAKER_01 (51:47):
That's powerful.
That's really powerful.
Thank you for sharing thatexercise.
You're welcome.
And it's it's hard, it is, but Ilove the simplicity of just
writing a letter and not mailingit and not, I mean, we hear a
lot.
Well, I'm sorry, I hear a lot.
(52:07):
Maybe, maybe this is resonatingprofoundly with others because
they haven't heard this before,but I've definitely heard a lot
about the power of forgivenessand and the importance of it.
And I think kind of like you'resaying earlier, of yeah, I like
myself.
I I appreciate myself, and butI'm not sure that I really knew
(52:30):
it.
I think this also ties into theforgiveness thing.
We hear, we hear about theimportance of forgiveness, but
are we actually practicing itand to practice it with that
person?
You know, maybe we forgivecertain people, but we haven't
forgave that one person.
And to do this exercise, topractice this exercise and to
(52:51):
walk through it, that's gonna bereally powerful for for someone
listening.
So thank you for that.
I appreciate you.
Thank you.
I want to um, I I know thatwe're almost out of time.
And the last thing that I hadwritten on our notes from our
original call was that you areinto numerology, that you know
(53:12):
about numerology.
So I'm wondering if we can closewith that.
But before we close, obviously Iwould like people to hear, of
course, everything's written inthe description, but hear where
they can continue to learn fromyou and soak in your wisdom.
I know you have a program comingup in January, so you can
definitely share that here andjust know that everything is
(53:34):
linked in the description belowfor uh as well.
SPEAKER_02 (53:37):
Okay.
Um what was the question?
Where can people where canpeople say all right?
Okay, I guess that is important.
The easiest question.
The easiest one.
Um first of all, I welcomecomments, questions, whether
it's this broadcast or of me ingeneral, write to me directly.
(53:59):
My email is rhonda r-h-o-n-d-aat helpme rhondanow.com.
Rhonda at helpmerondanow.com.
And I welcome your insights,your questions, and your
comments.
Um, you will see all my socialmedia links.
(54:21):
I post, I do reels, I you know,lots of information going back
and forth.
My website ishelpmerondanow.com.
And yes, I do have uh the nextcohort of my group coaching
course um is uh coming up the12th of January.
(54:43):
Um, I don't do I don't believein New Year's resolutions.
I believe in every day is a newbeginning.
Um we don't set resolutions andwe don't talk about things for
that we want for 12 months.
We do it in bite-sized pieces,12 weeks.
So the link will be in thedescription.
(55:03):
Go there, peruse that.
If you'd like to register, getin.
I usually only take 15.
Uh, if I get more, then I willstart another one at the same
time.
But you will see the link in thedescription box.
And um, again, there's a placeto reach me if you have any
questions about that.
I deal with it directly withwhoever's asking questions.
(55:27):
And before we get to thenumerology, because it's
absolutely one of my favoritethings, um, I would like to uh
leave our viewers and listenerswith a couple things.
May I?
SPEAKER_01 (55:40):
Yeah, absolutely, please.
SPEAKER_02 (55:42):
First of all, we've talked about a lot here.
Whatever it is you're goingthrough, understand that you are
not alone.
Reach out.
Whether it's to me, whether it'sto someone else, a confidant, a
practitioner, reach out.
You are not alone.
(56:03):
The choice is yours, but you arenot alone.
And whatever you're goingthrough, and whatever tunnel you
happen to be traveling throughon this journey, we've all been
graciously placed on together.
Understand that that light atthe end of the tunnel is not a
train.
(56:24):
That light is the light, theguidance, the way, the truth to
be the best version of yourselfif you choose to be.
And finally, my invitation toeveryone, whether I'm uh hosting
or guesting, is to treat life asif it were ice cream and enjoy
(56:47):
it before it melts.
SPEAKER_01 (56:52):
That's probably the best analogy.
I might have to steal that fromyou, Rhonda.
SPEAKER_02 (56:56):
Please, yes, please come on to it from me.
SPEAKER_01 (57:00):
I will quote you though.
I won't steal it.
SPEAKER_02 (57:03):
Please, I now feel like I'm definitely a member of
your tribe.
Yes, you are independent.
Yes, you may uh take whateveryou'd like.
SPEAKER_01 (57:12):
Thank you.
Oh my gosh, beautiful lessons.
Thank you so much for coming on.
Let's take a couple minutes fornumerology.
This is something that, youknow, I have like a life cycles
book.
I've been interested innumerology, but haven't ever
really dove straight into it.
And what I kind of want to talkabout, not necessarily, I mean,
not necessarily the history andall of that, but I know that you
(57:36):
said this year is a nine year.
So if we can just chat a littlebit about what that means, are
we going into a nine year in2026 or this like the next year?
This is the nine years.
Okay, and then we're going intoa one year.
SPEAKER_02 (57:49):
Yes, we are.
SPEAKER_01 (57:49):
All right.
So let's, yeah, whatever youfeel like sharing.
I just feel like for some reasonwe have to talk about this.
So there's something, somethingthat you have to share.
SPEAKER_02 (57:58):
My biggest takeaway and my biggest message for those
listening and viewing nineyears.
Nine is endings, so that newbeginnings.
Okay, we have less than 60 daysleft in 2025.
It's still time, okay.
My suggestion and invitation isthat to release whatever is not
(58:23):
serving you.
I'm not saying to go get adivorce or anything like that,
but start with yourself.
Do you have some habits, themindset, things that are not
healthy for you?
It's different for everyone.
Okay.
Begin to release those.
Set an intention to release it.
(58:44):
When you release it, alsoaccompanying it with what you
want to receive.
Releasing, we must get off ourproverbial plate what is not
serving us.
It's like going to a buffet,okay.
No stranger to buffets.
I grew up on these in NewEngland.
Okay, so you load your platewith all the stuff that's not
(59:07):
that healthy.
Okay, so how can you fit thehealthy stuff?
I'm a sushi gal, I'm a rawclams, oysters, things like
that.
And what's gonna happen isbefore you get back to the
table, you got no room, and yougot this balancing act of stuff
that's really not gonna serveyou.
It's different for everyone.
I'm not looking down at anyonethat doesn't eat raw clams,
(59:32):
okay?
Not at all.
People are probably looking downat me saying she's nuts.
And but my that you get mypoint, remove that which is not
serving you.
It may be a little tough.
Yeah, start.
I removed the news in thenewspaper a long time ago.
(59:52):
Okay, I hey, I love people, butI'm a very private person.
Yeah, some people see me oncamera, they wouldn't guess that
in a million years.
I'm a very private person, andyou see by the words I speak,
speak things that arefacilitative of healthy changes
(01:00:13):
for myself.
If you've heard them all here,or some of them anyway, a lot of
them, and for others, so removefrom your plate.
And I have this rule, somepeople think it's silly.
Okay, New Year's Eve.
Yep, I'll have a couple glassesof champagne, but I'm not taking
(01:00:35):
into 2026 what I don't want toput into 2026.
If I'm still doing things that Iwant to get rid of, at least
make an intention to get rid ofthem, they're coming with me
into 2026.
Again, I use myself as anexample.
I never ask of an audience orclients or groups, never give
(01:00:57):
them a suggestion that I wouldnot use for myself.
Yeah, so that's my take on 2025,moving into number one new
beginnings.
Your take?
Talk to us about that.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:11):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I totally agree with youwith the New Year's thing.
I'm not a big uh traditional setall the intentions and bite off
more than you can chew, but I doI tie in a lot of like astrology
too, and I always think ofScorpio is is really the um
(01:01:34):
astrological sign that I thinkof because Scorpio really
represents that death andrebirth cycle, and thinking of
it as that death and rebirth,which is really actually a lot
of what we think of kind of inthat new year energy is what am
I?
Well, that's the invitation,right?
(01:01:55):
Because we don't always think ofit this way, but what am I
letting go of?
What am I ready to let go of?
And I love your analogy of thebuffet.
It's that analogy that if we'reholding something in our hands
and we're gripping it so tightin our fist and we're asking, I
want this new thing, I want thisnew thing.
Well, you don't have thecapacity, you don't have the
(01:02:16):
free hand to accept that newthing.
So what am I ready to let go ofto then open my hand, open my
palm to receive whatever I'mcalling in?
And it is that death cycle canbe painful, it can be this
release, it can also be verycathartic and it can be very um
(01:02:42):
profound, honestly, to releasethese things to then, and I love
what you said.
I don't I don't keep what Idon't want to carry into 2026.
So this is a really poignanttime to have this this podcast
episode, actually.
I'm really appreciating this.
Um that we that our higherselves guided us to record at
(01:03:04):
this time, and that's a reallybeautiful invitation for the
next 60-ish days, sick mine and60 days.
What am I wanting to, what am Inot wanting to carry into 2026?
And that goes back to somethingthat you said.
What do don't you want?
What don't I want to carry into2026?
And what do I need to let go of?
(01:03:25):
And maybe that's maybe that'sjust where we leave it, right?
Yeah.
Like maybe we don't know exactlywhat we want to carry in, or
maybe we don't know how or whenwe're gonna carry this new thing
in.
But what do I want to let go of?
What don't I want to carry intothis new year and and this new
season, this one year?
And that feels a little bitbigger than a traditional new
(01:03:51):
year, is we're us moving fromthat nine year to the one year
and and the new beginnings.
It's yeah, it's it'll be it'llbe interesting.
It'll be an interesting year,but that definitely resonates a
lot with me.
This nine year has been a lot ofletting go and shedding and
releasing, and some of that waskicking and screaming and not
very gracefully.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:12):
Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:13):
Well, I'm excited for the one year, I'll tell you
that much.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:16):
Me too.
unknown (01:04:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:19):
Oh, thank you so much.
I I could talk to you forever.
I really appreciate your wisdom.
You remind me a little bit ofLouise Hay, and I feel like you
speak like her.
I'm sure that yeah.
The I have all her minutes youwere talking.
I'm like, she she is exactlylike Louise Hay.
So thank you so much for thisbeautiful energy that you bring
(01:04:40):
to the world.
Thank you for your light thatyou shine, and thank you for
guidance and inspiration thatyou brought me and my community,
and anyone listening today.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:50):
Thank you.
My pleasure.
Thank you.
Hello, and welcome back to the podcast Journey to
Well.
I am your host, Hannah, andtoday I am joined with Rhonda
Farah.
She is an author, she's anempowerment alchemist coach,
she's a speaker, she's anentrepreneur, a spiritual
teacher.
We have a very fun and I wouldhypothesize uplifting and
(01:34):
positive conversation andmessage to share today.
So uh Rhonda also is a 4-6sacral generator.
We were just kind of touching onhuman design.
So that might come up in ourconversation a little bit.
I like to teach human design ina more naturalistic kind of spur
of the moment, learn in littlechunks rather than have a huge
(01:56):
human design podcast every week.
So that's where human designcomes into play in the podcast.
But Rhonda, thank you so muchfor coming on.
Thank you for taking your time.
And I would love to give you themicrophone to introduce
yourself.
Who is Rhonda?
What hats do you want to put onfor today's introduction?
And then we'll get into ourconversation.
SPEAKER_02 (02:19):
Okay.
Well, first of all, Hannah, it'smy pleasure to be here.
Thank you for having me as yourguest.
And I would dare to guarantee avery inspiring and motivating
conversation between us for ourcommunities to view and listen.
(02:41):
Let me give you a littlepersonal background.
I'm the oldest of five, threebrothers and one sister.
And through oh, about thirdgrade, we all grew up in an
extended family.
Some people know what that is.
It's under one roof.
There were 13 people at anygiven time.
(03:03):
So there's five was five of us,my parents, grandparents, aunts,
great aunts.
And it was an environment ofprimarily women, and uh lots of
love and lots of discipline.
So I grew up in an environmentwhere not that men don't
(03:25):
nurture, but nurturing goes towomen primarily.
So I learned how to be anurturer, the oldest of five.
Um I was the role model, whetherI wanted to be so or not, um,
which was always a treat.
And um it paved the way for meto go into the field of
(03:51):
psychology, psychotherapy, to beof service to others,
educational counseling.
Um, and that's what I did.
I that's exactly what I did.
So I credit the way I grew upfrom a very young age that
instilled me with being anurturer, with nourishing
others.
(04:11):
We'll get to whether or not Iwas nourishing myself as we move
on here.
That's a little bit of the yeah,okay.
That's um that's some personalbackground.
Um, and while I have plenty ofeducational degrees and
certifications, my credentialsare really my life, which began
(04:35):
uh, well, on a subconsciouslevel, well before midlife, but
began with a series of somepeople call them crises, I call
them escapades and adventures.
Yes, adventures.
Okay, and they include umincarceration, breast cancer, uh
(04:55):
a minimum of two divorces, veryclose together, and financial
collapse.
So I learned I learned twothings.
First of all, I call it God, Iwas raised Judeo-Christian,
whether you call it universe,source, spirit, the divine, that
(05:16):
essence, that presence wastrying to get my attention early
on, and I just was notlistening.
And finally, um divine source,God put me in a major timeout
for nearly seven years in awoman's federal prison camp.
(05:37):
No bars, okay.
And I learned how to findthrough my subconscious mind,
primarily, the gift and theblessing in that, which served
me through the other adventuresthat I went through.
Um, so my attention wasdefinitely in the forefront now
(06:02):
because I found myself in anincredible situation that I
never thought I would be in, aperson who has never had uh a
speeding ticket, never took anydrugs.
Um, it's like, what am I doinghere?
And the thing to remember,because this is what I teach, is
whatever it is, we call itforward.
(06:25):
Whatever it is, and many peopledisagree with that and they
don't want to hear it.
No, we do call it forward.
Our subconscious mind, she'sworking over time, she knows
what we need better than whatour conscious mind knows.
So we call it forward, and thenwe get to decide what we're
going to do to learn whatever itis we have to learn.
(06:46):
Some people call them lessons,some people call them other
things, but we learn what wehave to learn.
So through these adventures, Iput the term on myself,
alchemist.
And many people say, What is analchemist?
What do you do?
Well, I help others, because I'mthe poster child, I help others
(07:11):
take all the joys and thesuccesses as well as the
challenges, the struggles, theadversity, the sorrow, that not
so good stuff, and make it workfor them rather than anything
less.
So that's where that comes from.
And when I say my credentialsare life, primarily, I have
plenty of tools,psychotherapist, alchemist
(07:32):
toolbox.
I draw from them on a regularbasis, and we can get into some
practical things for ourlisteners and our viewers as we
go on.
But that was when I becamededicated to awakening hearts,
minds, and most especiallyspirit, to our innate power from
(07:53):
within, our authentic power fromwithin, which is the power to
thrive rather than merelysurvive, regardless of
situation, circumstance,happenstance, regardless of
where we end up, regardless ofwhat we call forward.
Brief introduction.
SPEAKER_01 (08:12):
I could listen to you all day, Rhonda, honestly.
So thank you for that.
I love your choice of words inadventures because I know myself
included that we go throughsituations in our life, and
especially as we're goingthrough them, it's very
(08:34):
difficult to see this as anadventure, an escapade rather
than some terrible, horriblething or whatever, or a crisis,
like you worded it.
I like that um opposing word aswell.
I'm curious if this mindset wasseeded or planted before these
(08:57):
adventures began, or if that'sreally throughout the
incarceration, the cancer, thedivorces, is that really where
it was birthed?
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Um, I think it was birthed.
We all have our script.
It was birthed well before anyof my adventures.
Um, and it was looking to comeout, but it, you know, Rhonda
wasn't cooperating.
And that's why my attention hadto be gotten.
And I think everybody'sattention is gotten one way or
(09:30):
another.
It starts with little pebblesthat cause ripples, then maybe a
two by four has to come out.
And I got a brick, okay.
I got a brick because God,mother and father, God said, uh,
I won't use any expletives, butthe it's okay, this woman is not
listening, she's not getting it,she's going in a major timeout,
(09:53):
and I did.
And that began the journey offine-tuning tuning.
That began the alchemy versionof my life because alchemy is
the precursor chemistry.
So when you are are alchemizing,it's you like you take you take
these rough stones and they turnget turned into a gem, precious
(10:15):
metal or otherwise, and that'sexactly what happened.
Now, I didn't plan it again,subconscious mind, but I called
it forward.
I wasn't conscious of what I wasdoing, but I was calling forward
what I needed to be the bestversion of myself, which
everyone can do, and hencethat's when my brand changed
(10:39):
four or five years ago when Ireally got serious about this.
When you fix your reflectionfirst, your own reflection,
whether you look in the mirror,a pane of glass, your phone, uh
fix your reflection first andlive your best life ever,
(10:59):
because that's where it begins.
If and I talk a lot aboutself-love, liking yourself,
self-respect.
Oh, there's my God breath.
You'll hear that throughout thecourse of this uh conversation.
My God breath indicates this iswhat you should say, you're on
the right track, go for it.
People need to hear certainthings.
(11:21):
So I got real good at listeningfrom within, and I got real good
with learning how to appreciatemyself, with learning how to
love and appreciate myself justthe way I am now, just the way I
was.
Learning how to fall in lovewith who I am becoming, and that
(11:47):
is something that I think ourlisteners and viewers would like
to know how to do.
SPEAKER_01 (11:53):
Yeah, I would really like to dive into that because I
I first of all, I love thistagline, if you want to call it,
uh, your brand of fixerreflection first, and something
that I know that my communityand I think the world really
loves learning about my kind oflanguaging is learning how to
trust your intuition, learninghow to trust that inner voice.
(12:16):
And I use it through the lens ofhuman design, oftentimes, which
is a really beautiful tool.
But I am curious how you I thinkit's very easy for us to fall in
love with the version ofourselves that we feel would be
worthy, right?
(12:37):
So if I lose 10 pounds, thenI'll find my husband.
If I get this degree, then Iwill get my dream job.
If I buy this car, then myfriends will find me, you know,
more powerful, more attractive,whatever it is.
Oftentimes this if-thenstatement.
(13:00):
And to be able to fall in love,like you said, with exactly who
I am today.
And you said somethinginteresting and who I was, which
that's that's an interestingaddition to this statement.
That I would argue is is ourlife, is our life journey, is is
our life lesson, is falling inlove with who I am in this
(13:24):
moment and trusting and andbelieving that I'm going to be
in love with myself tomorrow andin the version of me a year from
now, which may or may not havethe things that are on my
manifestation list of taking thejob and getting the husband and
you know, moving to this newarea.
So, how and we can get practicalhere.
(13:46):
I I love tools.
Um, how do we begin this journeyof fixing our reflection first?
And really, what does that meanto you?
And and how has that shown up inyour life?
How did that alchemizethroughout your life?
SPEAKER_02 (14:02):
Well, I think the how it show has shown up in my
life is I may have thought it,but did I really and believed
it, but did I really know it?
So to know, know for me that Iwas whole, perfect, and
complete, even with theadventure of women's federal
prison camp, even with theadventure of breast cancer, uh,
(14:26):
even with the divorces, thefinancial collapse.
I'm still whole, perfect, andcomplete, just the way I am.
So maybe I was looking all thoseyears before my adventures,
yeah.
Every time I looked in themirror, I caught my reflection
in a pane of glass.
Oh my god, Rhonda, you are sobeautiful, you're intelligent,
(14:46):
you're articulate.
Geez, you love to cook, you loveto garden, you're athletic.
Um, I've been a distance runnerfor 50 years now, and it's like,
did I really know that?
Yeah, I was saying it, probablynot.
So I called forward somethingelse, lots of stuff that were
(15:09):
things that I've are proud ofthe not so good stuff I refer to
them.
I don't think anything is uhnegative.
I think it's not so good, it'snot what we expect.
But my point is I was getting inmy own way.
Now, the Mayans have aninteresting uh thing because um
(15:33):
I'm I can trip real easily.
Okay.
Three weeks ago I took a trip, Itook a fall, and a minute I
thought, oh, okay, well, how amI getting in my own way?
When I had these series ofadventures, those were what
others called failures.
Failures I fell.
(15:54):
The purpose of falling is so youcan get up.
So how do you get up when youfall?
Okay, you get up, you get up,gather yourself and say, okay.
There is a gift and the and ablessing in women's federal
prison camp.
There is a gift and a blessingin breast cancer, nearly stay
(16:15):
stage three.
I had a lump on my breast 11months before I was released
from prison, and I was not doinganything about it until I got
home.
There is a gift and a blessingin divorce.
We'll get to that.
And there is a gift and theblessing and all that
not-so-good stuff that happensto us because it happens, and
(16:36):
I'm not immune to it at all.
And I love immediategratification as much as the
next person or more sometimes.
However, there is something tobe said about what we have in
our life that's long-lasting,reasons, seasons, and some are
longer than others.
(16:57):
When it takes a little longer toget where we think we want to
be, we may be getting in our ownway.
And it's but it's much morelong-lasting.
So when people say to me, Well,if you could have changed these
things in your life, I know Iwould have had everything just
(17:18):
the way it is.
Just the way it is, because Ilearned about myself.
So as I went through theseescapades, these adventures, I
noticed something about myself.
The very thing that I had lostway back when, my sense of self
with a capital S was nowemerging.
(17:39):
The onion skin was being peeledaway.
Okay.
When you peel an onion, thereare tears in most cases.
Through all of my adventures, Ihad tears and I had laughter,
and that's a sign of growth.
So anybody who's crying orlaughing, you're growing.
Yeah, like it.
(17:59):
Oh it may be sticky business foryou sometimes.
You just may not like it, butyou're growing.
And that's what we're meant todo: to grow and to evolve.
SPEAKER_01 (18:13):
I love the capital S, self and rediscovering
yourself.
Do you think that a lot of thisgrowth, this rediscovery, this
alchemy, I have found in my lifethat it often comes in the
really, I will swear, reallyshitty situations that you well,
(18:38):
yeah.
I was going to say that youdon't ask for, but I actually
really love your perspective ofyour subconscious calling it in
for a reason.
And I think that's a reallypowerful mindset shift.
But do you my question is do youfeel that this growth?
Do we ever grow when we'recomfortable when there's not
(18:59):
shit happening?
No, no.
SPEAKER_02 (19:02):
I'm glad you brought that up.
Is it I'm writing my memoirs andthey'll be done spring of 2026?
But the name of it, the workingtitle is Growing Where I Am
Planted.
My journey in conform inconsciousness to transformation,
my journey in my consciousnessto my transformation.
And you know how I came up aboutthat?
(19:23):
I'm in Colorado Springs rightnow, and I will be in
Connecticut before the end ofthe year, which is where I grew
up.
And I'm running around inColorado Springs about three
years ago, and here is veryweird weather.
It snows, but then it melts.
So it snowed, but it was thetime when things were blooming.
(19:44):
And here I am running along, andin between the curb and the
sidewalk, somewhere.
I was in the street, in betweenthe curb and the sidewalk, I
looked to my left, and there isa marigold coming up.
And I said, Oh my god, I took apicture of it.
And that hence growing where weare planted.
Now, those are pretty adverseconditions for the marigold to
(20:07):
say, Oh, good, spring is here,wherever that seed came from.
I mean, it's hard enough.
It's not, it's in this weirdsoil kind of, you know, sand
between the curb and thesidewalk, but it's still
beautiful, it's growing whereit's planted.
And the way when we all have theshit going through our lives,
because yeah, you said it veryprolifically, that's the what
(20:29):
happens.
Um, I help people take the joyas well as the shit and make it
work for them rather thananything less.
So to grow where one is planted,one must find the gift and
blessing in whatever they'regoing through.
And you're right, it's moretimes than not.
(20:50):
It's when it's shit, when it'snot, oh, things aren't really
going that well.
Uh and believe me, I'm noPollyanna.
I like immediate gratification.
Okay.
However, my sister says, Oh,Pollyanna's at it again.
And so I said, No.
Um, so when we take that, whenwe understand what the gift and
(21:13):
the blessing is, no matter whatwe're going through.
You want an example of my own?
SPEAKER_01 (21:18):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:20):
After about a year in women's federal prison camp,
I stopped banging the phoneagainst the wall, saying to
whoever I was talking to, get meout of here.
I don't belong in here.
I stopped.
I stopped, and what and whatended up happening is that's my
aha breath.
(21:40):
That's where that came from.
That was my point of surrender.
Whether I realized it or not,that was absolutely my point of
surrender.
I stopped that shit.
And I that's the subconsciousthat did that.
And I just said, there's the ahabreath.
Oh well.
That began my journey.
(22:01):
That I found the gift and theblessing, regardless of where I
was.
I began to write more, I beganto read more.
I was asked to teach wellnessclasses to my fellow inmates.
I was the only inmate teaching.
And it was part of this program.
Uh they called it the drugprogram.
Those people with drug charges,whether they were using, taking,
(22:26):
whatever they were doing withdrugs, could get a year off
their sentence if they took thiscareer curriculum.
So I was teaching and I lovedit.
I taught my own version ofwellness, had nothing to do with
drug addiction or anything elseor substance abuse, but I was
teaching how emotionally andthought-wise, cognitively, we
(22:47):
can what you said earlier, putourselves in the mindset to be
in well-being rather thanill-being.
After about a year of doingthat, I went to my counselor and
I said, Do you think I could geta year off my sentence?
Because I'm teaching.
(23:07):
Yeah.
And he said, Um, no, you don'thave a drug crime.
I didn't.
And so I'm nonviolent, no drugs,nothing like that.
As a matter of fact, after Iserved my time, my sentence was
expunged.
SPEAKER_01 (23:23):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (23:24):
Okay, but that's a that's another, that's another
episode.
So, but my point is that when Ithat was said to me, I didn't
say, what the hell do you mean?
You're an asshole.
I didn't say any of that.
I said, Oh, oh well, I did.
I can remember it like it wasyesterday.
I went on my way, and because Ihad surrendered, I was content
(23:48):
in taking the gift and theblessing that that particular
escapade had pivoted me rightback into being of service to
others.
Never in a million years did Idream it was going to be there.
SPEAKER_01 (24:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (24:00):
Never, never.
But it was.
So I could have been a victim, Icould have been disgruntled, I
could have been uh a lot ofthings, but you know,
victimhood, martyrdom, it'sreally not that attractive on
me.
So I went on, but there werestill possibly these things
underlying um that wereaffecting me, but I didn't
(24:24):
really know.
Yeah, you know, when you I missmy family, I had a daughter, I
have a daughter now, and wentthrough that and knew that
something else was coming downthe lane in 2005 for me.
Because when I was released, Iwent immediately to my own
doctors, and uh had a then Ithey scheduled me for a biopsy
(24:50):
and none other than breastcancer awareness month, October
of 2005.
I went and the once the phonecalls started, they kept coming.
What did what was the biopsy?
What's going on?
Well, my words were I rememberthem like it was yesterday.
Not the best news, but not theworst news.
(25:12):
My daughter had said to me, Whenare we gonna get a break?
You just came home, and I said,Dear, understand, I will be
dancing at your wedding and Iwill see my grandchildren.
And I was, and I did.
I don't know where that camefrom.
It was a God thing.
(25:33):
Things that I don't know wherethey come from, they're God
things for me.
So that all happened, but whatthe whole prison adventure
taught me was that I have thewherewithal.
This was more painful.
This is looking, I'm looking atmortality in nearly stage three
breast cancer, and I'm thinking,this is incredible.
(25:57):
I'm an athlete.
Why is this happening?
Okay, then I started to lookinto the research a little more.
Two things happen.
First of all, the research bearsthat when breast cancer in women
is because we do not know how tonourish or nurture ourselves.
(26:17):
We're good at it with everyoneelse.
But when it comes to us, notnecessarily, and I my hand goes
up for that.
Yeah, I wasn't nourishing andnurturing myself.
Yes, I was taking care ofmyself, I was in great health
and the whole thing.
But what was going on for me?
Maybe I felt less than, maybe Ifelt like I was not enough.
(26:38):
That's how, as women, we gothere.
Okay, we go there.
Yeah, now I got this thing on myhead, my forehead, this label.
I hate labels, by the way,called felon.
Okay, let's add that to the notenough.
Okay, let's add that.
So it was then that the alchemyhat really was put on.
(27:03):
And another thing happened.
I don't like hospitals, I don'tlike doctors.
And even though the surgeon saidthis can be chemically treated,
that meant chemo, uh, that wasstill music to my ears.
I don't want to do it.
Okay, I didn't want to do any ofthat stuff in the hospital and
(27:25):
the cutting and the radiation.
I don't want to do any of that.
Um, so a friend of mine camehome and gave me a card to a
medical Qigong practitioner.
More music to my ears.
I went to see him, and threeweeks it was a series of
chanting, uh prayer, somechanges in the diet.
(27:51):
And at the time I had dogs, sohere I am chanting in front of a
huge mirror, a whole wall ofmirrors, and the dogs are
howling.
That was the vibration that waswhat was happening, and that was
what was supposed to happen.
So, about three weeks, thisperson says, Go back to your
oncologist and have anotherultrasound, because Western
(28:17):
medicine has the best diagnostictechniques.
Went back, my daughter's withme, and my oncologist she says
to me, Rhonda, I don't know whatyou're doing, but you're
shrinking your tuber.
And my daughter's head spunaround on her neck, and she
said, You're buying this fuckingshit too.
(28:39):
Honest to God.
Sorry about the F-word, but no,I'm not sorry.
Um, so it was at that point Istill had this fear of the
hospital, of chemo, of all thatother stuff, and I made up my
mind.
No, I'm gonna go through Westernmedicine as I still continue to
(29:00):
do eastern medicine as well,which helped me with side
effects with what I was goingthrough, but I did it.
I I I needed to do it formyself, and I had I was again
the gift and the blessing andeverything.
The gift and the blessing inthat situation is I still had a
(29:22):
window of time even throughchemo.
Believe me, I wasn't runningvery fast, but I was jogging,
and I had a window.
Chemo was on Thursday, right upto chemo, and then I was down
and out by Saturday.
I was in bed, and that's okay.
(29:43):
Rest of time is good too.
Um, but my point is I I couldstill do some things, I had very
little side effects.
I lost my hair, but most peoplesaid you look like a prophet, so
I said, I'll take that, I'lltake that.
New style.
New style.
Okay, so uh that is over with.
(30:05):
I did have an adverse reactionto some of the chemo, but I was
ready to plow right through anddo it.
And my doctor said, Oh no,you're done for today.
We'll see you in two weeks.
And but I was I was ready, Iknew I had the power within me
to do this because I hadovercome the fear.
It's interesting.
I only believe in two emotions,fear and love.
(30:27):
This is how it works.
When we feel fear, right here,because this is where it begins
in our heart space.
And that's where the God of myunderstanding is, begins in our
heart space.
What we're feeling, whetherwe're feeling fear, we produce
these thoughts that produce ourexternal world.
Feeling love, we produce otherthoughts, which produces a
(30:50):
different external world.
I bring that up in this breadthe breast cancer escapade for
one very important reason,because it then came to my
attention that 45% of women withbreast cancer that were a lesser
degree than my stage three.
Don't make it.
(31:10):
They expire.
That's it.
They make their transitionearlier than they thought they
were going to because that's themindset.
I was never a victim.
I don't say battle, my battlewith cancer.
I had no battle with cancer.
I had an incidence of breastcancer.
I'm not a breast cancersurvivor.
(31:32):
I'm a breast cancer thriver.
And again, I began teaching tomy fellow people.
And I had to go in the hospitalto do that for group every week.
But I did.
Again, pivoted back right tobeing of service to others.
It was a long serendipitousroute from prison to breast
(31:56):
cancer and then the rest of thestuff.
But my point is, I found thegift and the blessing.
I at least I was open to that.
I wasn't closed-minded.
I didn't like what washappening.
However, I knew I would not onlyovercome it, I would be better
for it.
And I was, and I am, and Icontinue to be.
(32:20):
And I finished my chemo, andthen comes to the day of
cleaning out margins.
Once again, my daughter was withme.
It's my right breast.
I have a wonderful uh incidenceof breast cancer scar there, and
no one's ever complained.
And I love her just as much as Ilove this one.
So I went, I'm in the surgicalcenter in beautiful Monterey,
(32:44):
California, and I have the bestbreast guy there is, my surgeon.
That's what he was referred toas in all of the Americas.
And I said, Okay, I'm lying inthe gurney and looking out this
window on a beautiful day.
Nurse comes over who would laterbe my OR nurse.
And she said, Rhonda, can I getyou something?
(33:05):
I go, No, I'm just having alittle talk with God.
I know everything's gonna be allright, but I just asked God for
a sign.
She's looking at my hair and shegoes, Oh, your peach fuzz coming
back, growing back fine.
She pulls her skull cap back.
This is my OR nurse, I foundout.
Pulls her skull cap back and shesays, Maybe your hair will grow
(33:27):
back like mine did.
She had gone through theincidence of breast cancer.
She was my sign.
You're gonna be all right,Rhonda, because there's more
work for you to do.
It's time, Rhonda, to take allyour messes and make them into a
message to help others.
(33:48):
That was a very explicit sign.
Very explicit sign.
And I remember her till today.
But and here's the other thing: don't be afraid to ask. (33:57):
undefined
I don't care who or what youbelieve in.
Ask and know that you're notalone.
You're not alone, ask, knock,and the door shall be open.
Ask, you shall receive.
You don't ask, well, whose faultis it that you didn't ask?
(34:21):
So it's it's very it this allgoes back to it's our
responsibility to go within.
It's our responsibility.
If we wish to live the life wedesire, perhaps the life we
dream about.
It's our responsibility.
Don't wait for the government,don't wait for your spouse,
don't wait for your boss, yourcolleagues.
(34:43):
It's you, it's you.
You cannot change anyone, butyou can change yourself and
watch when you change somethingabout yourself, even a small
thing, watch how everything andeveryone changes around you.
It's largely the psychotherapyhat came off as well because I
(35:04):
got tired of people saying tome, What why is it taking so
long?
I've had a very lucrativelucrative practice in
Connecticut.
Why is it taking so long?
Why can't you fix it?
And I remember one individual inparticular, and she said, after
two sessions, barely two, shesaid, This isn't working.
(35:27):
I go, well, how long did it takeyou to have this estranged
relationship with your daughter?
She looked me in the eye andsaid, Oh, it took me years.
Took me years, and to get thisway with my daughter.
And I go, you know, honey, I'mgood, but I'm not that good.
So I'm not your gal.
(35:48):
And we parted.
You see, it's not my right normy obligation to want for
someone what they do not wantfor themselves.
It's no one's right norobligation.
Work on yourself, put thespotlight on yourself and say,
shit, look in the mirror.
This sucks the way things aregoing.
(36:11):
So what is it?
And where that's where we start.
When I say to someone, what doyou want?
I don't know.
Well, what don't you want?
I'll give you a real lifeexample.
A woman said to me, I want arelationship that's not as bad
as the one I have.
About a year later, she gotexactly that.
(36:32):
It was bad, but not as bad, andnot as bad.
That's tough.
Understand what is it that youwant?
SPEAKER_01 (36:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:45):
Sometimes, and and some people are afraid, and I
used to be this way.
I used to be a people pleaser.
Yeah, that I shared that alone.
I don't care what people thinkabout me.
I really don't.
I care, but I don't care.
I care about what I think aboutmyself.
When people adopt that, what doyou think about yourself?
And what would you like tochange to think of yourself in a
(37:07):
better way?
Because that is the beginning.
It's not just attractive, it'sthe law of assumption.
You assume the goodness in yourlife.
I'm not just talking about apartner.
SPEAKER_01 (37:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:19):
If you respect yourself, if you like yourself,
if you love yourself, if youesteem yourself, if you
appreciate yourself, that's whatyou will assume back to you, not
just in a romantic relationship,other relationships in your
life, in your career, where youlive, who you keep company with.
(37:42):
It's so important, yet it's sooverlooked because in our
immediate gratification society,we want a wand waved over us.
And I have a Harry Potter wand,but I don't use it.
I just like to look at it, touchit because it's it takes work,
(38:03):
it takes work, and we must dothe work.
I can't do the work for ahundred people, even in the
groups I teach.
I can't do you got to do thework, and we're learning from
each other.
I learn as much from my studentsand participants, or maybe more,
(38:23):
than they learn from me.
Because I'm open.
I'm open.
SPEAKER_01 (38:28):
Yeah, I I say that all the time, that I learn so
much from the people that I workwith, and I really do feel that
the things that I have called inthe quickest, that law of
assumption, I love that.
It's it really does go back toour mindset and our belief
(38:50):
systems and the stories that wetell ourselves.
I always give the example of umthere's a moment in my life
where I found myself leaving aseven-year-long relationship in
a city that I had lived in forabout three years, but really
didn't have any community,didn't have any friends.
(39:10):
And um so I bought, I still wearthis necklace.
If you're watching the video,you can see it.
It's just a little, it's just alittle like tent, actually, with
a diamond in the middle.
SPEAKER_02 (39:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (39:20):
Um, but I bought this, it was it was from a
company and they send you alittle like write-up.
So the the title of thisnecklace is tribe, and it talks
about your tribe and how youcall in the people of your life.
And um, and I set the intentionthat I am going to build my
tribe here in in Jersey City atthat time.
(39:42):
I'm gonna build my tribe where Iam, a physical one because I
have beautiful, amazing friends,and they all tend to be in the
other areas of my life that I'velived.
So at that time, North Carolina,Georgia, New Hampshire.
And um, and I never once hadthis story in my mind that it's
hard to make friends.
(40:03):
And I know that that's a storythat a lot of adults, I'm gonna
say adult women, but but adultmen, just adults in general, a
lot of adults tell themselvesbecause it is work, right?
It's not, it's not, um, I don'teven want to say it's not easy.
It is work, but it was never thethe subscription that I paid for
(40:25):
to tell myself that it's hard tomake friends.
And I did.
I made beautiful friends, andthen I moved to different areas,
and now I'm in New Hampshire,and I continue to find these
beautiful, and I love thatassumption.
I assume these beautiful peoplein my life.
And all of the all of that tosay that all of the things that
(40:49):
have come most easefully to meare things that I never doubted
in my mind.
And it's the things that I doubtin my mind and the stories that
I get caught up in.
It's gonna take this amount oftime, or I need to get this
degree before I do this thing.
Those have been the mostcomplicated.
(41:10):
And I don't really know, kind oflike you, I don't know where
that came from of like it's notdifficult to make friends.
Um, whereas other things in mylife I know that I I overthink,
overcomplicate, and hold myselfback from.
But yeah, that's what I wasthinking about when you were
sharing your stories.
(41:30):
It's the things that that webelieve.
Um, and and we have to do thework sometimes to believe them
or work through the fear thatyou're assessing.
SPEAKER_02 (41:40):
To know, to know, to know.
You make an interesting point.
Um when you say you wereovercomplicating things, and you
know, we all do it, and this isbecause I know the people that
consult with me, that I coachaudiences that audiences that I
(42:04):
speak with and two are well,this is what I want, but I don't
have any idea how I would getit.
And the first thing I say isdon't worry about the how.
And the second thing I say isdetach from the outcome.
If this is what you want, writeit on a piece of paper.
Yeah, can be for your eyes only,but write it because 95% of us
(42:29):
learn visually.
Write it on a piece of paper,and don't worry about the how,
but listen because you are goingto receive.
They will then start calling in,receive.
You're not gonna chase.
There's a difference betweenchasing and receiving.
If you keep chasing, you'renever gonna receive.
(42:50):
It's like you're chasing itaway, you're chasing your
blessings away.
Listen, and you were going tobring in the resources, the
people, places, situations,circumstances, and events to get
you what you want.
And I recently wrote a post justyesterday life is a gift.
(43:18):
Sometimes gifts aren't wrappedwith a bow, but it's a gift.
So understand that yourfailures, relationships,
whatever you've been through,etc.
They're gifts.
I had a string whether it wasdivorce or failed relationships.
I needed to stop a pattern, andthat was about the time I was
(43:41):
looking in the mirror andsaying, Oh, I'm attracting, I'm
assuming that I'm not enough.
And this is who I'm attractingand assuming into my life.
This is what I'm receiving, andbelieve me, I'm very grateful
for all my failed relationships.
(44:02):
I get I am.
It's two of them are from women,and I learned, I thank them very
much because I learned how tolove, appreciate, esteem, like,
and respect myself.
Without that, it couldn't havehappened.
(44:25):
I'm leaving the state ofColorado.
I've been here for four years,and for about two years, my
friends, I was in California.
Another divorce brought me hereto a work project, and now I'm
going home.
But I'm often asked in person,and um hosts on shows, podcasts
(44:50):
have asked me, you know, youknow, you talk about love a lot.
Have you met anyone?
I said, I'm so glad you asked methat.
Yes, I have.
She's intelligent, she'sarticulate, um, she's a
knockout, a real catch, a realfind.
She loves to cook, she'sathletic, she loves to garden.
(45:15):
And her name is Rhonda Farrow.
Start there.
Start there, our listeners, ourviewers, start with you.
You know, I'm not saying I'm notopen to love, however, it's
gonna be a different versionthis time, and I will assume
(45:38):
into my life someone who lovesthemselves.
That's it, and I'll leave themalone to love themselves, and
they'll leave me alone to lovemyself, and then we'll come
together and fall again in lovewith ourselves and each other.
That's what that's how ithappens, that's what the
(45:58):
alchemist says, okay.
I I I want to there's a toolbecause not only am I asked,
what is an alchemist?
Who are you?
I'm asked, how you talk aboutliving an empowered lifestyle.
(46:18):
What is that?
How do I do that?
I said, Well, I'm an alchemist.
I have a formula for you.
Here's a formula gratitude plusforgiveness equals living an
empowered life, living the lifeyou desire, perhaps the life you
dream about.
Let's go back to the formulahere.
(46:38):
Okay, gratitude.
We we're all into that.
I write it every morning andevery evening, from the smallest
to the largest things.
You could say it, but okay,gratitude, everybody can go
along with that.
Sometimes not that easy to lookin the mirror and say, okay,
what do I like about myself?
What am I grateful for?
(47:01):
What in the what lately has haveI said to myself and has someone
said to me regarding howgrateful I am, regarding how
grateful they are for me to bein their life?
So gratitude's okay.
Now we get to the sticky bunhere: forgiveness.
(47:22):
Oh boy, forgiveness has got areal bad rap.
Have you ever heard someone sayI would never forgive them for
what they did to me?
I said, Well, you must if youwant to live an empowered life,
if you want to, that's yourchoice.
What do you mean?
I said, Let me give you a I'llgo into my toolbox and I'll ask
(47:48):
an audience or a client or agroup that I'm teaching, get out
a piece of paper.
That can be daunting for somepeople, and there's you're gonna
have two pieces of paper whenyou're done.
The first piece is write aletter to yourself and forgive
yourself, because again, that'swhere it begins.
SPEAKER_00 (48:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (48:11):
Oh, but it was so-and-so's.
Well, I said we're gonna get tothem in a minute, however, write
a letter to yourself.
I'll use myself as a and exit asan example, if I may, for our
viewers and our listeners.
Dear Rhonda, I've been meaningto write to you for some time.
(48:33):
First of all, how are you?
Okay, there's the aha breath.
Rhonda, you know when you wentto prison, when you never did
your due diligence and you youwere so stupid you got left
holding the bag.
Do you uh when uh you got breastcancer?
(48:56):
When you got breast cancer,Rhonda.
Rhonda, when you had multipledivorces or failed
relationships, I know you didnot mean to hurt me.
I'm writing to myself.
No, you did not mean to hurt me.
And I forgive you.
That's it.
Do what you want to do with theletter.
(49:18):
Rip it up, put it down thegarbage disposal, flush it down
the toilet, burn it, do whateveryou want.
Let it go into the wind, rip itup, though.
And that's that.
Now you have forgiven yourself.
It's done and over with.
Next, letter number two.
This causes massive shifting inseats, although no one has ever
(49:40):
walked out of a room, but theyhave cut me off on the zoom and
say, get the letter.
Here's the letter.
I want you to write to someonewho has harmed you, who has hurt
you.
I want you to forgive them.
unknown (49:56):
Can't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (49:58):
Well, wait a minute, you don't have to mail the
letter.
I really okay.
A sigh comes over me.
Let's write a letter.
Dear person who has hurt me.
Remember when you betrayed me,you cheated on me, you caused my
financial collapse, youdisrespected me.
(50:20):
See, you've come it's all right,it's good.
I know you did not mean to hurtme, and I forgive you.
Boom.
See, forgiveness need not have abad rap because what people
assume is that if you forgivethem, you're letting them off
the hook.
(50:42):
Non-forgiveness is likeingesting poison and expecting
the other person to die.
It's just not gonna happen,okay?
It's not gonna happen.
So this is non-forgiveness isthe emotional, it's the
cognitive link to either toill-being, to dis-ease.
(51:07):
I guarantee you forgive yourselfand you forgive someone else
with this method, this thesepractical tips.
I don't want it on your phone oron your computer.
Get a letter out and write inyour handwriting.
Okay, you will feel so muchlighter.
Yeah, that's the paving.
That's the pain.
Why would you foster fornon-forgiveness?
(51:30):
Why would you ingest poison?
Do you want to be physicallyill, mentally ill?
Because that's what it causes.
Resentment, disappointment.
I'm no stranger or immune to anyof that.
SPEAKER_01 (51:47):
That's powerful.
That's really powerful.
Thank you for sharing thatexercise.
You're welcome.
And it's it's hard, it is, but Ilove the simplicity of just
writing a letter and not mailingit and not, I mean, we hear a
lot.
Well, I'm sorry, I hear a lot.
(52:07):
Maybe, maybe this is resonatingprofoundly with others because
they haven't heard this before,but I've definitely heard a lot
about the power of forgivenessand and the importance of it.
And I think kind of like you'resaying earlier, of yeah, I like
myself.
I I appreciate myself, and butI'm not sure that I really knew
(52:30):
it.
I think this also ties into theforgiveness thing.
We hear, we hear about theimportance of forgiveness, but
are we actually practicing itand to practice it with that
person?
You know, maybe we forgivecertain people, but we haven't
forgave that one person.
And to do this exercise, topractice this exercise and to
(52:51):
walk through it, that's gonna bereally powerful for for someone
listening.
So thank you for that.
I appreciate you.
Thank you.
I want to um, I I know thatwe're almost out of time.
And the last thing that I hadwritten on our notes from our
original call was that you areinto numerology, that you know
(53:12):
about numerology.
So I'm wondering if we can closewith that.
But before we close, obviously Iwould like people to hear, of
course, everything's written inthe description, but hear where
they can continue to learn fromyou and soak in your wisdom.
I know you have a program comingup in January, so you can
definitely share that here andjust know that everything is
(53:34):
linked in the description belowfor uh as well.
SPEAKER_02 (53:37):
Okay.
Um what was the question?
Where can people where canpeople say all right?
Okay, I guess that is important.
The easiest question.
The easiest one.
Um first of all, I welcomecomments, questions, whether
it's this broadcast or of me ingeneral, write to me directly.
(53:59):
My email is rhonda r-h-o-n-d-aat helpme rhondanow.com.
Rhonda at helpmerondanow.com.
And I welcome your insights,your questions, and your
comments.
Um, you will see all my socialmedia links.
(54:21):
I post, I do reels, I you know,lots of information going back
and forth.
My website ishelpmerondanow.com.
And yes, I do have uh the nextcohort of my group coaching
course um is uh coming up the12th of January.
(54:43):
Um, I don't do I don't believein New Year's resolutions.
I believe in every day is a newbeginning.
Um we don't set resolutions andwe don't talk about things for
that we want for 12 months.
We do it in bite-sized pieces,12 weeks.
So the link will be in thedescription.
(55:03):
Go there, peruse that.
If you'd like to register, getin.
I usually only take 15.
Uh, if I get more, then I willstart another one at the same
time.
But you will see the link in thedescription box.
And um, again, there's a placeto reach me if you have any
questions about that.
I deal with it directly withwhoever's asking questions.
(55:27):
And before we get to thenumerology, because it's
absolutely one of my favoritethings, um, I would like to uh
leave our viewers and listenerswith a couple things.
May I?
SPEAKER_01 (55:40):
Yeah, absolutely, please.
SPEAKER_02 (55:42):
First of all, we've talked about a lot here.
Whatever it is you're goingthrough, understand that you are
not alone.
Reach out.
Whether it's to me, whether it'sto someone else, a confidant, a
practitioner, reach out.
You are not alone.
(56:03):
The choice is yours, but you arenot alone.
And whatever you're goingthrough, and whatever tunnel you
happen to be traveling throughon this journey, we've all been
graciously placed on together.
Understand that that light atthe end of the tunnel is not a
train.
(56:24):
That light is the light, theguidance, the way, the truth to
be the best version of yourselfif you choose to be.
And finally, my invitation toeveryone, whether I'm uh hosting
or guesting, is to treat life asif it were ice cream and enjoy
(56:47):
it before it melts.
SPEAKER_01 (56:52):
That's probably the best analogy.
I might have to steal that fromyou, Rhonda.
SPEAKER_02 (56:56):
Please, yes, please come on to it from me.
SPEAKER_01 (57:00):
I will quote you though.
I won't steal it.
SPEAKER_02 (57:03):
Please, I now feel like I'm definitely a member of
your tribe.
Yes, you are independent.
Yes, you may uh take whateveryou'd like.
SPEAKER_01 (57:12):
Thank you.
Oh my gosh, beautiful lessons.
Thank you so much for coming on.
Let's take a couple minutes fornumerology.
This is something that, youknow, I have like a life cycles
book.
I've been interested innumerology, but haven't ever
really dove straight into it.
And what I kind of want to talkabout, not necessarily, I mean,
not necessarily the history andall of that, but I know that you
(57:36):
said this year is a nine year.
So if we can just chat a littlebit about what that means, are
we going into a nine year in2026 or this like the next year?
This is the nine years.
Okay, and then we're going intoa one year.
SPEAKER_02 (57:49):
Yes, we are.
SPEAKER_01 (57:49):
All right.
So let's, yeah, whatever youfeel like sharing.
I just feel like for some reasonwe have to talk about this.
So there's something, somethingthat you have to share.
SPEAKER_02 (57:58):
My biggest takeaway and my biggest message for those
listening and viewing nineyears.
Nine is endings, so that newbeginnings.
Okay, we have less than 60 daysleft in 2025.
It's still time, okay.
My suggestion and invitation isthat to release whatever is not
(58:23):
serving you.
I'm not saying to go get adivorce or anything like that,
but start with yourself.
Do you have some habits, themindset, things that are not
healthy for you?
It's different for everyone.
Okay.
Begin to release those.
Set an intention to release it.
(58:44):
When you release it, alsoaccompanying it with what you
want to receive.
Releasing, we must get off ourproverbial plate what is not
serving us.
It's like going to a buffet,okay.
No stranger to buffets.
I grew up on these in NewEngland.
Okay, so you load your platewith all the stuff that's not
(59:07):
that healthy.
Okay, so how can you fit thehealthy stuff?
I'm a sushi gal, I'm a rawclams, oysters, things like
that.
And what's gonna happen isbefore you get back to the
table, you got no room, and yougot this balancing act of stuff
that's really not gonna serveyou.
It's different for everyone.
I'm not looking down at anyonethat doesn't eat raw clams,
(59:32):
okay?
Not at all.
People are probably looking downat me saying she's nuts.
And but my that you get mypoint, remove that which is not
serving you.
It may be a little tough.
Yeah, start.
I removed the news in thenewspaper a long time ago.
(59:52):
Okay, I hey, I love people, butI'm a very private person.
Yeah, some people see me oncamera, they wouldn't guess that
in a million years.
I'm a very private person, andyou see by the words I speak,
speak things that arefacilitative of healthy changes
(01:00:13):
for myself.
If you've heard them all here,or some of them anyway, a lot of
them, and for others, so removefrom your plate.
And I have this rule, somepeople think it's silly.
Okay, New Year's Eve.
Yep, I'll have a couple glassesof champagne, but I'm not taking
(01:00:35):
into 2026 what I don't want toput into 2026.
If I'm still doing things that Iwant to get rid of, at least
make an intention to get rid ofthem, they're coming with me
into 2026.
Again, I use myself as anexample.
I never ask of an audience orclients or groups, never give
(01:00:57):
them a suggestion that I wouldnot use for myself.
Yeah, so that's my take on 2025,moving into number one new
beginnings.
Your take?
Talk to us about that.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:11):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I totally agree with youwith the New Year's thing.
I'm not a big uh traditional setall the intentions and bite off
more than you can chew, but I doI tie in a lot of like astrology
too, and I always think ofScorpio is is really the um
(01:01:34):
astrological sign that I thinkof because Scorpio really
represents that death andrebirth cycle, and thinking of
it as that death and rebirth,which is really actually a lot
of what we think of kind of inthat new year energy is what am
I?
Well, that's the invitation,right?
(01:01:55):
Because we don't always think ofit this way, but what am I
letting go of?
What am I ready to let go of?
And I love your analogy of thebuffet.
It's that analogy that if we'reholding something in our hands
and we're gripping it so tightin our fist and we're asking, I
want this new thing, I want thisnew thing.
Well, you don't have thecapacity, you don't have the
(01:02:16):
free hand to accept that newthing.
So what am I ready to let go ofto then open my hand, open my
palm to receive whatever I'mcalling in?
And it is that death cycle canbe painful, it can be this
release, it can also be verycathartic and it can be very um
(01:02:42):
profound, honestly, to releasethese things to then, and I love
what you said.
I don't I don't keep what Idon't want to carry into 2026.
So this is a really poignanttime to have this this podcast
episode, actually.
I'm really appreciating this.
Um that we that our higherselves guided us to record at
(01:03:04):
this time, and that's a reallybeautiful invitation for the
next 60-ish days, sick mine and60 days.
What am I wanting to, what am Inot wanting to carry into 2026?
And that goes back to somethingthat you said.
What do don't you want?
What don't I want to carry into2026?
And what do I need to let go of?
(01:03:25):
And maybe that's maybe that'sjust where we leave it, right?
Yeah.
Like maybe we don't know exactlywhat we want to carry in, or
maybe we don't know how or whenwe're gonna carry this new thing
in.
But what do I want to let go of?
What don't I want to carry intothis new year and and this new
season, this one year?
And that feels a little bitbigger than a traditional new
(01:03:51):
year, is we're us moving fromthat nine year to the one year
and and the new beginnings.
It's yeah, it's it'll be it'llbe interesting.
It'll be an interesting year,but that definitely resonates a
lot with me.
This nine year has been a lot ofletting go and shedding and
releasing, and some of that waskicking and screaming and not
very gracefully.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:12):
Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:13):
Well, I'm excited for the one year, I'll tell you
that much.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:16):
Me too.
unknown (01:04:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:19):
Oh, thank you so much.
I I could talk to you forever.
I really appreciate your wisdom.
You remind me a little bit ofLouise Hay, and I feel like you
speak like her.
I'm sure that yeah.
The I have all her minutes youwere talking.
I'm like, she she is exactlylike Louise Hay.
So thank you so much for thisbeautiful energy that you bring
(01:04:40):
to the world.
Thank you for your light thatyou shine, and thank you for
guidance and inspiration thatyou brought me and my community,
and anyone listening today.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:50):
Thank you.
My pleasure.
Thank you.
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My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com