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August 6, 2025 20 mins

Turning 31 marks a profound homecoming to myself that I never expected. Last August, I recorded my 30th birthday episode while processing grief over unrealized expectations. Now, just one year later, everything has shifted internally, though outwardly my life might look similar.

What remains beautifully constant are my people—the friends and family who have been my true home when physical spaces felt unstable. They've shown me what unconditional love looks like, celebrating me in my highest moments and supporting me through my darkest times. Their acceptance has taught me to accept myself. As I've grown more comfortable in my own skin, I've stopped collecting opinions from people who don't matter and stopped shape-shifting for rooms that were too small anyway.

My birthday wish for you is simple yet profound: may you find people who love you so deeply that it teaches you to love yourself just as powerfully. And if you're currently feeling untethered, remember that not everything lasts forever. You'll find your way home too. The beauty of this journey is watching everything shift, including ourselves, until one day we realize we're exactly where we need to be.

Let's connect on social media! You can find me @ _journeytowell
Be sure to reach out and say hello 🤍

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be well, my friend
xx Hannah

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
31.
Not a milestone by numbers, butdamn if it doesn't feel like
one, because this time last yearI was still stitching myself
back together again with athread made of maybe buttons, of
not yet a hemline, that didn'tquite fit the shape of who I was
becoming.
But now, now I wear my skinlike it was made for me, because

(00:25):
it was.
I'm 31 today and I am finallyhome, not just the roof kind,
not just four walls and thecolor I chose for the living
room.
I mean the deep cellular bones,sigh and relief kind of home,
the kind where my breath doesn'tapologize and my laugh takes up
the space it wants.
The kind where my breathdoesn't apologize and my laugh

(00:46):
takes up the space it wants.
Where silence is sacred, notscary, where I don't second
guess my reflection or the way Ishow up in a room when I walk
in and my soul says we belonghere.
This is the year I stoppedshape-shifting for rooms that
were too small for me anyway,stopped shrinking so others
could feel tall.
I care, but only where itcounts, only for the ones who

(01:12):
know my heart, in full color,not just the highlight reel.
I stopped collecting opinionslike souvenirs from people who
don't even send postcards back.
I used to carry the weight ofbeing misunderstood like it was
my fault.
Now I let it slide off likerain, blessing the earth but not
soaking me anymore.
Let them misunderstand, letthem wonder.
I've got better things to tendto like joy, like quiet mornings

(01:33):
with coffee and no chaos, likeconversations that feel like
soul mirrors, like finallyknowing what enough feels like
31.
And I feel soft again, notfragile, but gentle in my power.
I feel rooted, like the soilknows my name, and I'm no longer

(01:56):
searching for somewhere to land.
Today I don't need balloons ora banner, I don't need the loud
to prove I'm alive because peace.
Peace is loud in its own way.
It hums in the background likea song I forgot, I loved, and
I'm dancing to it now, barefootand unbothered.
So here's to this year to methat bloomed in private, that

(02:19):
healed without applause, thatchose herself over and over
again until choosing becamesecond nature.
31 and I am home in every senseof the word, and I'm not going
anywhere.
All right, welcome back to thepodcast Journey to Well.

(02:41):
That was written by chat gbt andI didn't actually read it
before I hit record.
So, uh, your girl got a littlecaught off guard a little
emotional halfway through.
I gave it specific prompts and,um, I asked wild to have these

(03:09):
milestones to reflect on my life, where I've come from and what
happened witness versions ofHannah.

(03:30):
And last year I didn't go backand listen to the podcast I
really should, because I didrecord a 30th birthday podcast
episode and I remember exactlywhere I was sitting.
I remember recording theepisode.
I do remember what I talkedabout.
I just didn't.
I didn't listen to it, so Idon't recall every single thing

(03:50):
that I talked about.
But I was in New Jersey.
August was a wild month for melast year.
I was working in New Jersey andthen New York and then I drove
home and I think, like threedays later, my best friends came
and we drove to my family'slake house and celebrated with

(04:12):
them.
And I mean, if you know me, youknow that I'm a Leo and I
celebrate all month longregardless.
But last year, I mean, it was abig milestone too, so I tried
to make it as big andcelebratory as I could and it
was perfect.
I loved my birthday.

(04:33):
But I do remember the podcastepisode that I recorded was
mostly sharing about all of thegrief that I was moving through
30 is a huge milestone.
Grief that I was moving through30 is a huge milestone, and I
was really working throughreleasing all of these
expectations that I had and allof the plans that I thought were

(04:56):
going to come to fruition bythe time I was 30.
It's not a surprise, it's not asecret.
I think I've probably sharedthis with everyone in my life
but I want to be a mom, I wantto have a family.
When I was little, my people,people would ask me like what do
you want to be?
When you grew up, hannah?
And I would always say I wantto be a mom.

(05:16):
And I did, I do, I still do,and really grieving oh my God,
I'm 30.
I still do.
And really grieving oh my God,I'm 30.
Now I'm 31.
But it's so wild to feelviscerally the difference in my
body, in my mindset, in my lifeoutlook.

(05:38):
Somewhere over this past year Ireleased all expectations.
I know that I'm going to getmarried.
I know that I'm going to findmy person.
I know that I'm going to have akid I don't need to know when
and I'm okay with not knowingwhen and truly I have not felt

(06:01):
more at home, more at peace,more rooted, more grounded than
I do right now in this season ofmy life, and I think I said
this in the last solo podcastepisode.
But maybe outwardly, my summerdoesn't look that different.
Maybe outwardly my life doesn'tlook that different, but so

(06:21):
much has changed inwardly andit's a really, really, really
beautiful place to be.
I assume this just keeps gettingbetter and better the older you
get.
I mean every person that I'vemet.
They're like just wait tillyour 40s.
You care, you give even lessbucks, just wait till your 50s,

(06:42):
wait till your 60s.
And part of that, part of thatspoken word that I really wanted
to touch on was not caring whatother people think, and even I
mean even just my birthday, evenreflecting, like I, when you're
little, when you're young, youwant to hop on Facebook and hop

(07:05):
on your phone and how manypeople said happy birthday to me
and how many people are wishingme well, and you want all of
that external validation.
You crave it and not that it'snot nice, right, like we all
love a compliment and I lovegiving compliments.
I love getting compliments allof I don't crave it anymore and

(07:29):
what I really crave is love andaffirmation from the people that
I love, from the people that Iaffirm, from my people.
I care about the opinions of mymom and my sister and my best
friends and I really don't careabout the opinions of people
that don't even know me anyway.

(07:50):
And that is a really wild.
I mean, I don't even know thatI have the correct verbiage to
convey, because I feel likethese are all very cliche things
to say but to actuallyexperience it viscerally in your
body, other level, so 31, I do.

(08:12):
I finally feel home.
I was sharing with my familythis past week, week and a half
we went to my family's lakehouse, like I did for my
birthday last year, and I waspacking and getting ready and I

(08:35):
just felt myself kind of likedragging, like found what I
eventually figured out was likeI don't really know that, like I
want to go and I do want to go.
I mean I did want to go and Iand I had such a fun time.
My, my stepsisters came, myfamily was all together and like
that's really important.
Family is the most importantthing to me.
So I did want to go, but what Ifigured out was for years, for

(08:57):
the past, like four or fiveyears I have wanted to be
anywhere, but where my head waslaying at night I did not feel
like I was at home.
I didn't feel that I was athome with people that I was with

(09:18):
, with partners that I was with.
I didn't feel that I was homejust with the house that I was
in, like for whatever reason.
There was just misalignment andit was probably very much where
I was just at in my life too.
It's not blaming like locationsor people or or whatever, or
circumstances, it's just thatamalgam, amalgamation is that a

(09:41):
word?
Amalgamation, culmination,either way, either way.
So I had this moment, thisrealization, where I was like,
oh my gosh, actually I love mylife right now.
I want to be exactly where I am, and I haven't felt this way in
a long time.

(10:03):
And if you are listening to thisand you feel this of not
feeling fully at home, whetherit's fully at home in your body,
maybe you just had a baby andyou feel like your body is
foreign to you.
Maybe you just moved and so youdon't feel at home yet in your
town.
Maybe you just got in or out ofa relationship and you feel

(10:24):
kind of unstable and unsteadyLet this be your reminder that
not everything lasts forever,and let this be your reminder

(10:47):
that not everything lastsforever and it will shift.
Everything shifts.
We were supposed to go up toMaine for my birthday again with
my best friends and I decidedyou know what, let's just stay.
Let's just stay home.
My hometown is bomb.
I never thought I would say thatI moved away in college for
college because I didn't likethe cold and I was like I don't

(11:10):
want to stay in New Hampshire.
And here I am back and feelingmore comfortable and more in
love with it than I ever havebefore.
But we're going to stay andwe're going to do little day
celebrations, truly what mattersthe most to me, and, as I was
thinking about recording thispodcast, this is really what I

(11:30):
want to nail home For me.
Maybe this isn't the same forevery person, although I would
argue that it could be or it is,but I digress it's the people
you choose to surround yourselfwith you choose to surround

(11:53):
yourself with.
So much has changed in my lifein the past year, and the one
thing that looks exactly thesame with my 30th birthday and
my 31st birthday celebration isI'm celebrating with the people
that are my home and I made thebest new friend this year, so

(12:13):
there's new faces to actually.
But I've made morerelationships and I've deepened
my relationships with the OG,best friends and family members,
but it's your friends, it'syour relationships that make all

(12:36):
of the difference.
People have always been my home, especially over the past few
years where my physicallocations haven't felt safe or
stable or like home to me.
It's been my people, my tribe,that have been my home and

(12:58):
that's what hasn't shifted atall.
It's actually grown andexpanded, but it hasn't changed.
My people are my home.
I read this.
I actually I was listening tothis reel on Instagram the other
day and it was like this bigpoem about how important it is

(13:18):
to keep your friends, even afteryou get married.
It was like this poem thatsomeone read to their like the
maid of honor read to the brideon her wedding day or something
like that, and she was sayingyour partner is great, your
husband is great and now thatyou're a wife, you have all of
these new responsibilities andall of this excitement.

(13:40):
But keep your friends.
Make sure that you keep yourfriends, because your friends
are going to be the ones thatshow up in the darkest of times.
Your friends are going to bethe one that show up when your
baby is crying and it won't stopand you feel like you're
falling apart.
Your friends are going to bethe ones that show up when you
switch jobs or when you loseyour job and you feel like your

(14:00):
world is ending.
Your friends are going to bethe ones that show up when
they're here to celebrate whensomething good happens.
Your friends are going to bethe ones that celebrate you the
hardest and the loudest andcheer you on on every single
step of your life the hardestand the loudest, and cheer you
on on every single step of yourlife, and without getting too

(14:24):
emotional, although you knowthat I love, I love crying, but
my people, my friends, that'sthat's the most humbling
experience of a lifetime is tobe loved by them and to be
celebrated by them and to beaccepted by them, and I hope
that you find people like that.

(14:46):
That's my I don't know birthdaywish.
My birthday wish is that I hopethat you find people that love
you so deeply that they acceptyou so powerfully that it
invites you to love yourselfeven as deeply, that it invites

(15:09):
you to accept yourself as deeplyand as powerfully, and that's
really what my best friends havetaught me.
That's really what they haveshown me.
I have this tattoo.
It says on my forearm and itsays the beauty of grace is and

(15:30):
that's part of that message thebeauty of grace is the people
show up for you.
That people show up for youexactly when you need them, and
it's the most humbling thing togo through situations in your
life where you feel like youcan't reciprocate.
I'm a very reciprocal person, soif somebody does something for

(15:50):
me, I want to do something forthem.
If somebody compliments me, I'mgoing to compliment them.
If somebody buys me something,I want to buy them something
right, like maybe not right back, but that's.
That's kind of this.
I guess the life that we livein too like the world that we
live in, and it's the mosthumbling thing to just accept,

(16:26):
just accept their love.
Yeah, I hope you find thatsomeday.
That is my birthday wish to allof you Hold your friends close,
hold your family members if yourfamily members are your friends
.
I know not everyone's lifesituation is exactly like mine,
but my family members are mybest friends as well, so hold

(16:47):
them close.
This is such a celebratory 31stbirthday and it's not a huge
milestone like the poem at thebeginning, it's just 31, but in
a lot of ways it feels like thebeginning of something big.
So I love you all.
Thank you so much for being onthis journey with me.

(17:08):
You humble me, you light me up,you make me smile.
When I get DMs, when I getmessages, when I hear responses
of this really shifted somethingin me, or I loved this guest
that you had on.
I truly, truly love and amhumbled by this community that

(17:30):
we are building together, thistribe that we are building
together.
So much love to you all.
Happy Leo season, be well.
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