September 25, 2025 • 56 mins
#179 - Lesa Burgess never imagined that falling in love with a basketball player would lead her across nine countries over eleven years, building a family of seven while navigating cultural labyrinths few Americans ever experience. Her memoir "Behind the Bench" pulls back the curtain on what looks like a glamorous life to reveal something far more compelling—a story of resilience, adaptation, and finding yourself when everything familiar has been left behind.
From giving birth in Turkey with no pain medication (total hospital bill: $275) to teaching her 6'11" husband how to drive a stick shift in Ukraine while pregnant, Lisa's adventures defy conventional understanding. "People are kind of like, 'Oh, this sounds so glamorous and amazing,'" she explains, "and you're just like, 'You have no idea what this is.'" Her stories traverse the spectrum from terrifying (being locked out of her apartment with no way to communicate) to triumphant (surprising her husband at championship games despite seemingly impossible logistics).
What resonates most powerfully is Lesa's journey from college soccer player with a clear identity to finding purpose in a supporting role that often left her feeling invisible. "It was hard for me to feel seen when people were constantly asking me about Chris and his career," she admits. The transformation wasn't immediate—it took years of introspection to recognize the vital importance of her contributions. "I started feeling like his successes were also mine," she shares, a perspective that became crucial to navigating their unconventional life together.
Throughout these challenges, faith served as Lisa's anchor, especially during the many times Chris was traveling while she managed their growing family alone in foreign countries where she couldn't speak the language. Her experience offers wisdom for anyone facing unexpected turns: "You are strong enough... It's going to be messy, it's not going to look like the path that you see in your head, and that's okay."
Ready to experience this extraordinary journey for yourself? Grab Lesa's memoir "Behind the Bench" on Amazon or at BehindTheBenchBookstore.com and discover how adventure, when embraced with courage and faith, transforms challenges into the most meaningful chapters of our lives.
Visit LandPirate.com to get your gear that has you, the adventurer, in mind. Use the code "Journey with Jake" to get an additional 15% off at check out.
Visit geneticinsights.co and use the code "DISCOVER25" to enjoy a sweet 25% off your first purchase.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Burgess knows what it means to build a home
wherever life takes you.
As the wife of a professionalbasketball player and mom to
five kids, she's lived a journeyof love, resilience and
adventure.
In her book Behind the Bench,she brings to life the joys and
challenges that shaped herfamily story, and today she
shares it with us.
Welcome to Journey with Jake.
(00:22):
This is a podcast aboutadventure and how, through our
adventures, we can overcome thechallenges of life that come our
way.
While I expect you will learnsome things about different
adventures, this show willentertain you.
Each episode will feature adifferent guest or guests, as
they share experiences andstories from the different
adventures they have been on on.
(00:45):
Not only will you beentertained, but you will also
hear the failures and trialseach guest faces and what they
have done or are doing toovercome the hardships that come
their way.
My goal is to take each of us ona journey through the
experiences of my guests, withthe hope that you'll be
entertained and inspired toovercome your day-to-day
challenges.
After all, it's not about thedestination as it is about the
(01:19):
journey.
Be sure to follow along onInstagram and YouTube at Journey
with Jake podcast.
Hit that subscribe buttonwherever you're listening, so
you never miss an episode, don'tforget.
Journey with Jake is part ofthe Podmatch podcast network,
where you'll find even moreamazing shows to inspire your
journey.
(01:44):
Today's guest is Lisa Burgess,author of Behind the Bench Life.
As the Wife of a ProfessionalBasketball Player and Mama Five
Brought Plenty of Adventure, butit also came with real
challenges, moments that testedher strength and stretched her
faith.
Lisa opens up about how thoseexperiences shaped her and the
growth that came from them.
And if this episode speaks toyou, be sure to check out
episode 144 with Autumn Carolyn,where she shares her own
powerful journey of resilienceand adventure.
Okay, let's get to myconversation with Lisa Burgess.
(02:06):
I'm excited today I've got LisaBurgess joining me.
Lisa, welcome to Journey withJake.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Thanks, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, this is fun for me.
I saw your story through thenewspaper.
I think is how I kind of see it.
Or you know, online news Idon't know who, anybody who has
newspapers nowadays but I sawyour story and I thought it
struck me because journey withJake it's an adventure podcast,
but it's also kind of yourjourney and who you are and the
adventures.
You had your book.
You wrote a book called behindthe bench memoir of a basketball
(02:34):
wife.
Your husband was a professionalbasketball player and it's
mostly the stories abouttraveling around with him
through I mean, I think you werein nine different countries.
Just the cultural shocks theexperiences you had were intense
.
I had a guest once who told mehe said adventure.
It's not an adventure until aproblem happens or until a
challenge happens, and if that'sthe way to describe it, you had
(02:56):
years full of adventures withthis experience.
So I think it fits perfect.
Plus, I've always kind ofwanted to know about kind of
your role too, as you know,supporting your husband and and
you look at it and you'rethinking, your husband, I think
he's what 6'10".
I mean he's tall.
Yeah, 6'11" yeah 6'11", okay,6'11", so super tall.
(03:18):
He's kind of the one who getslike a lot of the attention, and
so I was happy to see that youwrote this book, because I kind
of want to hear your side of thestory and kind of what it was
like for you as well.
Before we dive into it, though,I want to know just kind of
your background when did yougrow up, kind of what was your
situation growing up and kind ofhow you met Chris.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah, I grew up outside of Logan, utah, up by
Utah State, small small towncalled Millville.
I have three older brothers soI was a tomboy through and
through.
I just wanted to be like mybrothers growing up, played all
the sports, fell in love withsoccer.
Soccer took me to theUniversity of Utah so I played
(03:55):
soccer there and then mysophomore.
At the beginning of mysophomore year, chris
transferred into Utah.
He was at Duke before thattransferred into Utah.
We met right away and then weended up dating the rest of the
time we were there together andthen we got married right after
we graduated.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And then the adventure begins.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah for sure, but you as a soccer player, what is
it about?
It seems like athletes attractother athletes.
I mean, it seems like I see alot of that Was that kind of
what how it was?
Cause he was an athlete, youwere an athlete.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I think that you just end up having a lot of
similarities.
You understand each other on alevel that, like non-athletes
wouldn't be able to.
Not that there's anything rightor wrong about that, but there
is something to being a tryingto be as elite athlete as you
can.
That takes a lot of sacrifice,determination.
(04:51):
You know whatever it is thatcomes in your way and I think,
fellow athletes, you understandthat without really having to
talk about it.
Right, you just get each other.
You understand, like, if you'retired, like I just want to go
to bed, okay, I get it.
You're exhausted, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
It probably worked out well, then, for you being
the support for him having thatbackground in sports.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, it was a huge advantage.
I am not sure that I would havebeen nearly as understanding
throughout his career if Ihadn't gone through some of the
stuff that I went through as anathlete.
I probably would have beenresentful and frustrated at a
lot of little things because ittakes to play professional
(05:37):
sports I mean to play in collegeis one level.
To play professional sports anddeal with the business side of
everything and like performanceson the line all the time, it's
the pressure is way more than alot of people realize.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So there's a lot that goes into making sure that you
know you're performing well,consistently yeah, I think it's
one thing to have, you know, alove of the game and a love of
the sport, but when on thatbusiness side, that's a whole
different pressure that's addedinto that.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, it's super tricky.
You don't really think about it.
I mean, especially overseas,you know we would see guys have
a couple bad games and getwaived.
They would just pick somebodyelse up.
You can't afford to have thisstretch of bad games, or else
you lose your job and then youknow you got to try and find
another one.
You might be out for the restof the year.
(06:30):
It's a lot.
So when you're supporting yourfamily that way, it's extra
pressure.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
What do you think the impact of having three older
brother was for you?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I just.
They just made me tough becausethey treated me like I was a
little brother.
Basically I was annoying littlesisters, but it was fun.
They beat me up.
I tried my best to beat them up.
I grew up rough and tumble.
Really.
One of my best friends was theyoungest of all girls and I
(07:01):
would go over to her house andbe like I don't understand what
is happening here.
Why are you all screaming ateach other?
Just like, hit each other andget on with it, right?
I think that it just helped mecoming into sports Like I just
was.
I was really tough and I didn'tcare how much I got beat up.
I just wanted to push throughit and be the best you know.
I do think that having threeolder brothers who who
(07:24):
challenged me all growing up hada lot to do with.
I think that it was inside ofme, but they really brought it
out of me.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Are you still close with your family, with your
brothers and your parents?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, we're close.
All my family lives up in CacheValley up there around Logan.
We're close.
Crash valley up there aroundLogan.
We're close, we get together.
You know it's tough to geteverybody's families together
and whatnot, but you do and youcan All right Behind the bench
again.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I'm right in the middle of it.
I'm probably three quarters ofthe way done.
I love it.
It's been a lot of fun.
What was the inspiration behindit?
Why did you say, hey, I want totell my story?
Did you say, hey, I want totell my story?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
It started just as a way to write down my stories,
our stories, for our kids, causeChris, my husband, played
overseas for 11 years and westarted having kids right away.
So we had all five of our kidsduring those 11 years.
I wasn't very good atjournaling, I mean, I was
(08:26):
surviving motherhood andtraveling all over the place, so
I one day realized there's thismassive chunk of their
childhood that we talk about alittle bit, but they just don't.
They'll never know what it waslike.
So I really wanted to write thestories down so that they could
have them.
So that's how it started.
(08:50):
I didn't have really intentionson writing a book, but I just
wanted to write stories down.
But as I was talking about itespecially with friends they
would always they would theywere like you have to write a
book, like I want to read it, Iwant to read it, please write a
book.
And so I think that they kindof planted a seed that I was
like maybe I could turn thisinto a book.
I started out just being like,okay, I'll write a book, but I'm
not going to worry about, youknow, making it good or anything
(09:12):
.
I just want again, I just wantthe stories down and it just
kind of eventually morphed intolike oh, I think this could be
something that other peoplewould enjoy, or even get you
know fellow wives ofprofessional athletes,
especially those going overseas.
You know we've been connectedby people and they'll ask me for
(09:34):
advice or like, how do youhandle this situation?
Or that you know, and I'm likeit's really hard to feel seen,
and so I really loved the ideaof this book helping someone
going through that situation tofeel seen.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
It's a good way to do it.
So it kind of almost like alegacy thing for your, for your
family, like here's what we didbut then it became a published
book.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Kind of morphed into published book, yeah, but the
the main goal was always to haveit for my family, for my kids
especially, and then there justkind of became added benefits to
to it.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I've noticed as I've read through it, it's it's not
like just chronological, it'skind of you know, you kind of
jump around to different things.
What was kind of the ideabehind that?
Was it cause, I think youdivided into parts of when I was
taken?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, yep, so my very first draft was chronological.
I went year by year and triedto just spit out all everything
that I could remember, causethat's another reason why I
wanted to write a book because Inoticed that some of my
memories were starting to.
You know, I couldn't quiteremember this detail or why this
happened, or like you know, andso I was like I want to get
(10:43):
these down before I reallyforget them.
My first draft waschronological, but when I
decided to make it a full-blownmemoir, I decided to read a
whole bunch of memoirs to get anidea of how they flowed, what
they sounded like, what thestructure was, so that I felt a
little bit more because I don'tconsider myself an author Like
(11:05):
this is not what I studied oranything like that.
So I needed to find out what itshould look like, and so I read
a ton of memoirs.
I found a couple that I lovedthe most, and I really kind of
structured my book after thatand I read some.
I listened to some podcasts andthey literally said don't,
(11:27):
don't do it chronologically,create themes, skip around, so
that things.
So I did kind of do six parts,kind of tried to like talk about
stories that were in this kindof you know umbrella of this
theme for this part, for thispart, for this part, and then
kind of end with the end of hisplaying career.
(11:49):
That kind of you know meltedinto his now coaching career.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I love it.
Yeah, it's, it's like I said,it's been good.
I'm not quite through it allyet, but there's been some just
fantastic stories and adventures.
And if you think about the wordadventure, so to you, to you,
Lisa, what does adventure meanto you?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I mean to me.
I think that my definition hasa lot to do with not really
knowing what's going to happenor how it's going to go, or even
how it's going to end.
Right, You're jumping intosomething and you're just like,
hey, let's see, having to figureit out, having to stumble over
hurdles, and then at the end,you have this story that you can
(12:30):
tell and you're like look atwhat I did, look at how much I
grew, look at how much fun wehad, look at how hard that was.
That's kind of how I've alwaysI don't know that I would have
defined it that way beforelooking back and talking about
all of the adventures everysingle one is okay.
Well, we did this thing, had noidea how it was going to go,
(12:52):
Stumbled, end up with thisamazing adventure in the end
that you grow from and learnfrom.
Who knew that it was going tobe?
So like terrible, hard,beautiful, amazing, right, All
the things.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
That's what's so amazing about.
When I hear people's differentstories and the different
adventures, the things you gothrough, sometimes you're like
this was awful, but then youlook back and like, but I
learned this from it.
All right, it's just, it'samazing what you do.
You start having kids rightaway.
So you have all these kids inthese 11 years that Chris was
playing overseas five kids.
(13:30):
I think he had three girls andtwo boys, in that order I think
it was three girls were off thebat, I think, if I mess up, the
name correct me, is it Ava?
Was the first one born out ofthe U S yes.
Do you mind kind of sharing thatstory a little bit, Because I
was kind of I was kind oftouched by that whole.
First of all, I think you werein Ukraine and you were trying
to maybe, and then ended upsomewhere else.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, so the story actually begins, and I didn't
really talk about this part inthe book, but the story really
begins.
I'm pregnant, we're home forthe summer and we're looking at,
we're talking to his agent.
His agent has severalopportunities for him and
there's one in Germany, there'sone in Ukraine, I can't remember
(14:09):
there was another one, I don'teven remember where it was, and
I was pregnant and so I was likeGermany, let's go to Germany.
The contract for Ukraine wasmuch better, it was a much
bigger job.
So he's like I just feel likewe need to do this and I was
(14:30):
like okay, I guess we'll see howthis goes Right.
So we go to the Ukraine.
And that was a whole story initself, because whenever we
would go to a foreign country,the club would provide Chris
with a translator.
Some countries, like a lot ofhis teammates, would speak
English, some countries theywouldn't, and he would just be
with a translator the whole time, right, and he would learn a
(14:51):
lot of the language prettyquickly because he's around it
so much.
I had to find a doctor in theUkraine and nobody was speaking
English.
His translator, his name wasKonstantin, he would take me to
go find.
Okay, here I set up thisdoctor's appointment, let's go
and meet the doctor.
And we would go meet the doctor.
And I mean, the city that welived in was not a capital city.
(15:15):
Right, it wasn't a big city.
If you know, if you've traveledoverseas, you can always tell
the difference between being ina major city versus not being in
a major city.
Right, there's huge differenceslanguage, culture, groceries,
everything.
We tried going to doctor'sappointments and I mean I felt
like I went back in time 50years.
(15:35):
There was one time where a catran down the hallway, there was
spider webs in corners, it wasfreezing cold.
It felt like there was no heatin the clinic.
There was one where we walkedin and the whole room was filled
with smoke because the doctorwas just sitting there smoking.
I was just like where am I?
(15:56):
So I was not feeling supergreat about this whole situation
.
I was trying to figure out, butat the very beginning of
Chris's career we had kind ofmade this promise to each other
we're staying together, right,we're sticking together because,
honestly, a lot of guys that goplay overseas, their families,
stay back home.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I've noticed that.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
And that's okay.
Whatever works for each coupleis what works, but for us we
didn't want to do that.
We wanted to stay together.
So I really didn't feel goodabout coming back home.
I didn't want to come back home.
I didn't feel good aboutleaving Chris.
We wanted to stay together.
We were trying to make it work.
But the longer we were there,the more I was starting to get
(16:37):
really nervous because I wasgetting.
I mean, at this point I waslike six months along and I was
just like, is this really whatwe're doing?
I was like six months along andI was just like, is this really
what we're doing?
It just so happened that theirteam ended up dropping out of
the EuroLeague.
This whole thing kind ofhappened.
They stopped kind of payingsome of their players and
(16:57):
Chris's agent came in and madethis deal with the team to waive
Chris, give him his money thathe was owed.
I mean, they gave him part andlike right away he was picked up
by a team in Turkey.
He literally called me.
I was home, he was not.
He called me and was just likehey, we're moving to Turkey, we
(17:18):
have a flight in three hours andwe had two little kids and a
dog, our dog.
We took our dog everywhere withus and she was a big dog.
She was a Weimaraner, not somelittle dog, right.
So I have to.
I am scurrying around ourapartment just throwing
everything in our suitcases,getting our kids ready, and he's
(17:39):
just like we have to leave,like right when I get home.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
How old were your daughters at this point?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
They were four and two yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Four-year-old, a toddler, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And you're pregnant and you have a dog.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, yeah.
But luckily it all worked out.
We got to the airport on time.
We just bribed the workers tolet our dog through because she
had no paperwork right?
You're supposed to getpaperwork from the vet and all
this stuff, and luckily theydidn't care.
We gave them some money andthey didn't care, let us on
through.
So we ended up in Turkey Again.
(18:15):
We were in a small city, so itwas about three hours outside of
Istanbul, and Istanbul has likesome pretty decent medical
facilities.
But I was too nervous to havethat be my kind of doctor home
base, because if Chris were tobe out of town while I went into
(18:36):
labor, that means like what,I'm driving three hours to the
hospital myself, right, Icouldn't do that.
Luckily one of his teammateshad a wife who spoke English and
she became my best friend, soshe took me to, she helped me
find a doctor, she took me tolike my first few doctor's
appointments.
She attended them with me.
So that cause you think thatit's easy, like here, you just
(18:59):
like go to the office, you checkin, like they call you back
Overseas.
It just doesn't work like that.
Like there's always like stophere and do this and then go
over here and do this.
There's always these steps,it's just more complicated.
I don't know why.
Maybe it's not like thatanymore, but that's how it used
to be.
Anyways, we finally found adoctor.
His teammates were like Baba,you're crazy.
(19:20):
They couldn't believe that Iwas giving birth in that town.
His Turkish teammates that arefrom there they were like what
are you doing?
But I did feel good about itand I was just like everything's
going to be okay, I just knowit.
This is kind of like our answerto all the prayers that I was
(19:42):
saying.
Right, that's what I felt.
Luckily, chris was in town whenI went into labor.
He was at practice, so I tookmy two older girls and dropped
them off with my friend anddrove myself to the little
hospital clinic.
The doctor didn't believe thatI was in labor and it was a
(20:02):
whole thing.
Anyways, they finally realizedthat I was and when Chris got
done with practice, he ran overand met me at the hospital.
It was the middle of the night.
He had been there.
It was like maybe a couplehours of labor and then it was
like okay, it's time to push.
I had had no pain medicine.
They gave me no pain medicinefor anything.
(20:23):
They wanted him to leave theroom because it's Islamic
country, right?
And it's kind of like what theyabide by.
And luckily my Turkish friendwas there at the time.
She had dropped our kids offwith a different teammate's wife
and came to the hospital tohelp me because she knew that
none of the nurses spoke English.
The doctor spoke English, buthe wasn't around a lot around a
(20:54):
lot as we were walking to thedelivery room.
I didn't realize this untillater, but Chris saw my doctor
at the end of the hall smoking.
So Chris Reisen gets in frontof me and walks in front of me
and then we go into the deliveryroom.
So he told me this like whenyou go home it's later, so we're
in there.
Anyways, niloufer, who's myTurkish friend, she talked them
into allowing Chris in the room.
(21:16):
She's like look, it's themiddle of the night, no one else
is here.
This is their culture, this istheir tradition.
Please allow him in the room.
And so they did.
Thankfully he was able to be inthere, and so they did.
(21:49):
Thankfully he was able to be inthere, gave birth.
The doctor had to stitch me upa little bit and again, nothing,
know they did?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
they had no diapers.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
They had no blankets, they hadn't like we had to
bring everything ourselves.
We did stay.
I well I should say I stayedthere for the rest of the night
so I had her just after midnight.
So they had me stay in a roomthere was like no nursery or
anything like that that likejust me and my baby stayed in
that little room.
Chris went home because he hada big game the next day, so he
(22:14):
was just like good job, love you.
Congratulations Good night, I'llsee you tomorrow.
So he went home so that hecould sleep and Milford actually
ended up coming back to thehospital and staying the night
with me helping me, which youknow.
I had been up for so long, Iwas exhausted, she was having
(22:34):
sent.
And then so the next morningthey, chris, came back.
We left the hospital.
We had to pay the bill beforebefore we could go.
It had to be paid in full.
So Chris is like asking Milfordcan I use like a couple
different credit cards?
You know we didn't haveinsurance or anything like that.
She's like yeah, no problem.
So we went down to the officeon our way out to pay the bill
(22:58):
and, yeah, it's this much.
It ended up being like $275total for everything.
Chris is like we should havemore kids.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
You're like wait a minute?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
No, but yeah.
And then I had to go get atetanus shot just in case you
know, things weren't sterile.
So, wow, I was really supergrateful that it was my.
She was my third baby, Cause ifthat would have been my
experience on my first, I wouldhave been like, I know, Because
if that would have been myexperience on my first, I would
have been like I'm done.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, no more kids for us, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
But luckily I knew what was going on.
I'd been living overseas longenough to know.
Yeah, there's a lot ofdifferences and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
And that was Turkey.
I think that was your second orthird time in Turkey too, so
you kind of knew.
Turkey culture a little bit too, which was probably helpful.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Super helpful.
Yeah, turkey too.
So you kind of knew, yes,turkey culture a little bit too,
which is probably helpful,super helpful.
Yeah, it was super helpful tolike understand turkish culture
and know that.
Yeah, it was really helpful.
I'm not sure that it would havebeen again as comfortable if we
had never been in turkey, butwhen we right, when we got to
turkey, it was like, okay, Ifeel good, I would have felt
better if we were in likeistanbul, like, yeah sure yeah,
but it probably still feltbetter if we were in like
Istanbul.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yeah, sure, yeah, but it probably still felt better
than what you were experiencingin Ukraine.
Yeah, totally.
Answer to prayer, but immediate.
That's crazy, too, that we'reour flights in three hours and,
wow, I just don't know how youprocessed all that.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, you know, it just became something that you
get used to.
You get used to like phonecalls, changing everything at
any moment and just having tolike, learn, you know, adapt
right now.
There's no time to process allthese.
I am very much a type A person.
I am like I want a plan, I wantto know what's going on.
(24:42):
I I want all of my questionsanswered Right.
And so I struggled the firstfew years of his career because
I was so outside my comfort zonewhen it came to that stuff.
Like even with you know,hearing from his agent, I'd be
like, well, what's going on?
Like what are the options andwhat is he saying about this,
this, this, this, this?
(25:02):
And he was just like Lise, whenhe has something, he'll call me
and I'm like, oh my gosh, likewe just have to sit here and
wait for a phone call.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I think I liked that about your book was the, the
combination of the both of you,two of your husband, cause he's
kind of I don't want to say dry,but like his, like you said at
the hospital.
Well, I got to go Good job Like, and I'm at, you know just he's
super.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
he's super laid back, easygoing, very flexible.
Yeah, we balance each other alot.
He helped me learn how to beflexible and adaptable a lot
more.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
That's great, I'm sure, and I know he learned a
lot from you as well, so I thinkthat's good.
I like that combo that you bothhad.
Okay.
So we said we mentioned Ukraine, we mentioned Turkey.
What were the other countriesthat you both had?
Okay?
So we said we mentioned Ukraine, we mentioned Turkey.
What were the other countriesthat you were in?
Speaker 2 (25:51):
We were in Australia, so we spent a couple seasons in
Australia, two and a halfactually.
We spent some time in PuertoRico, Philippines.
Let's see Poland, a coupledifferent cities in Poland, the
UAE so he spent a season inDubai and then one in Abu Dhabi
and then South Korea.
(26:13):
I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
That's it right.
Okay, when you look back to allthe different countries, I
think was Turkey the first placeyou went.
I think that was the first.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yes, so we went to Izmir, turkey, okay, very first,
very first.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
So when you look back and you, I mean you got, I
think at the time.
Was it just you and chris atthat time, or did you have a?
Did you have your oldestdaughter yet?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
just you and chris ismere.
It was just us okay, just you,yep.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
But then over the years, you know, you know, you
blossom into a family of sevenhere.
What was some of, what weresome of the biggest cultural
adjustments?
Speaker 2 (26:44):
yeah, I think that you know, I feel like here in
America like big families.
Even though there are someareas where big families might
not be as common, or like youhave five kids and people are
like, holy cow, five kids,whatever it's still decently
normal.
Big families are normal.
Most places we lived overseasit was not normal at all, and so
(27:06):
when we had our first couplekids it wasn't that big of a
deal.
But once we started having moreit was actually pretty
challenging to live somewherewith that many kids.
You just were so different.
It was hard to People kind of goto the market every day and
just get a few things here andthere.
So I would go and just get thisload of stuff and people would
(27:30):
just be like, what are you doing?
So it's like it kind of waslittle things that you wouldn't
really think of.
But of course, living indifferent countries like when
your kid gets sick and you'regoing to a doctor that you don't
a hundred percent trust youknow you're hoping that they're
giving you the right advice andyou're just having to kind of
(27:52):
put your trust in people.
Like in South Korea we had adoctor like he didn't speak
English at all and so I wouldhave to go there with my kid and
then use, you know, on my phone, talk in my phone and then give
my phone to the doctor and thenthe interpreter, chris's
interpreter would be on theother side talking my phone and
then give my phone to the doctorand then the interpreter,
chris's interpreter, would be onthe other side of the phone and
(28:12):
he would interpret ourconversation through the phone
and then you would leave andpick up this.
You know they do medicinedifferent, right?
Like everything's crushed andlike crushed pills instead of
like liquid, and so then you'rejust like what is this Like?
There's so many things that youwouldn't really think about
until you like live there.
(28:32):
I feel like visiting somewhereis a completely different
experience than living somewhere.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Definitely, and I've talked to a lot of people who
travel and they're like oh,we're going to experience the
culture.
But I think it is a totallydifferent thing, especially
after reading your book, of whenyou're actually living in it.
It's kind of a differentscenario for sure.
I love the fact that youblended a lot of the challenging
things, and there were someparts where I was shaking my
head.
I'm like I don't know how youdid it, let alone you know, I
(28:59):
was just like wow, I was justamazed.
But there was also you.
There were some funny thingstoo, some humorous things.
Can you give me one or two youknow examples of something?
Maybe that was kind of funnyjust with.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
You know the culture, just you know your experiences
as a family, any of thosesituations.
Yeah, I, I do think you knowit's funny.
So when we're in south korea,age is a huge thing.
You speak differently tosomeone who's older than you,
then you speak to someone who'syounger than you, and so this is
just a little.
This isn't really a story, butit was so hilarious to me that,
like when normal day to day lifehere, like one of the first I
(29:34):
mean you can imagine, with Chrisbeing 6'11", one of the very
first questions that anybodyever asks is how tall are you?
Or how tall is he?
Right, like always.
But in South Korea it wasalways how old is he, how old
are you?
Always, but in South Korea itwas always how old is he, how
old are you?
And it was just it would crackus up because we're just like
(29:55):
only here do people care moreabout my age than my height.
I'm sure that that was thesecond question, but there were
just little things you know, andone of the funny story is
overseas, they're real.
I mean, maybe it's more commonnow, but it's not super common
to have automatic cars.
A lot of them are still manualtransmissions.
(30:17):
I learned how to drive on amanual transmission.
I was really good at drivingthem, but Chris didn't.
He didn't know how, he didn'tknow how.
And so when we're in theukraine, they gave us a car with
a manual transmission and I washaving to like drive him to
practice and like wake my kidsup from their naps just to drive
him to practice, or go pick himup or all these things.
And again I was pregnant and sohis teammates started giving
(30:40):
him a really hard time aboutlike what are you going to do?
Have your wife drive you to thehospital when she's in labor?
Right, like come on, like learnhow to drive a stick.
And so we had to go to aparking lot little kids in the
back like laughing teachingchris how to drive a stick shift
.
He got on.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
He got on pretty quickly but, yeah I'm imagining
too, just someone who's 6 11just seeing them in a car.
It's got to be.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
It's got to be interesting having to adjust a
lot of his a lot of his heightis his legs.
He has really long legs, soit's not like driving a stick is
like super easy, right, likehe's worrying about his knees
hitting the dashboard and it wastricky but it was funny.
But it was one of those thingswhere you're just like only here
would you be forced to do this.
Right, you're not doing thisback home.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
I love it because you have that memory now.
Yeah, you know, that's thestuff that you can look back on.
And then there was also thosemoments that were difficult and
you had some of those momentswhere you're probably just
questioning what am I doing?
How's this going to work?
I think even right off the bat,in Turkey, I think, you locked
yourself out of your apartment,don't know how to talk to people
(31:47):
when you're in those momentsand if you want to share a
moment or whatever, how do youget over that?
How do you overcome that?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
I do think that my history of being an athlete,
having to go through injuries,having to go through all kinds
of setbacks, powering throughthat stuff, does help.
I think it did really help mehave this like resolve of well,
(32:16):
this is not a great situation,this is never what I would want,
but gonna have to figure outhow to get through it Right.
And so, yeah, I did.
Is mirror when we're in ismirror.
It was our first.
Luckily it didn't have any kidsfor this story.
But our apartment building, thedoor was like a hotel, Like the
outside was just automatic.
It was always locked.
And we had our dog, who wasjust a brand new puppy, and so
(32:40):
Chris was out of town on a roadtrip, and yep, of course, and so
I was taking the dog out onelast time before, like we were
going to go to bed.
I don't know why, but I grabbedmy phone instead of grabbing
the keys, and back then, like wedidn't use our phone.
Like now you're like, well,yeah, it's normal to grab your
phone, but like this is way backbefore, cell phones were really
(33:04):
that great, right, like it wasthis old brick Nokia, like the
only thing that was on there waslike to call people or like
play snake right, like that wasit.
And so it was a phone that theclub had provided because it
still wasn't like international.
Like you couldn't take a cellphone from here and use it
internationally.
You had to get a cell phonethere with a SIM card from there
(33:25):
, and it's a whole thing.
I grab my phone and take Django,our dog, out, come back and I
don't realize that I don't havethe keys until I go to get in my
apartment and I don't have mykeys, and so I'm just sitting
there like, oh my gosh, what doI do?
And so I was like, okay, beforeChris left, this is like our
(33:47):
one phone, but before we, beforehe left, he's like okay, if you
need anything, if there'ssomething that comes up and like
you need to get ahold of me,call this guy.
They called him Cap because hewas the captain of the team.
He's like call Cap, here's hisnumber.
Like, call him him, he can geta hold of me and you know figure
stuff out.
So I went I was like, okay, well, I guess I'll call cap, talk to
(34:10):
Chris, maybe they can havesomebody come and help me in.
And so I went to dial and I hadthe dog leash wrapped around my
wrist and right when I was likegoing to like dial, django like
lurched towards something andit pulled my hand and the phone
fell to the ground and thebattery popped off.
(34:32):
You know, because those oldNokia's you could just take the
battery right off.
And so when I put the batteryback on, it wanted a code.
You had to put in this code forthe phone to actually turn on.
And the code was on a piece ofpaper in our apartment.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I was like perfect.
And so I literally just stoodthere and was like what am I
supposed to do?
I'm by myself.
I know no one.
I know Chris.
I know his driver.
His driver doesn't even speakEnglish, so even if his driver
was here, it wouldn't help me.
You're just in this moment ofwhat am I supposed to do?
(35:12):
I don't know what to do.
You don't really have any otheroption but to try and just
figure out how to get through it.
You can say like, oh, I couldnever do that, or I would never
be tough enough to do that, butat the end of the day it's just
like well, what are the options?
Speaker 1 (35:26):
You have.
Yeah, you had to, I would have.
I mean, was there a moment ofpanic, you know, like when that
phone smashed?
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Definitely.
I definitely panic Like therewas definitely this.
I'm screwed, what am I supposedto do?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
But I mean I go through it pretty quickly Cause
you're just kind of like okay,well, I've got to figure this
out.
I mean I ended up going andknocking on this door on the on
the first level because onerandom day in passing Chris was
like this but like thisapartment is kind of like the
landlord ish, like they're notthe landlord, it's almost like
(36:02):
an RA of like, okay, like themanager, or something.
Yeah, yeah, and he had kind ofmentioned that, and so I was
like, well, I guess I'll gothere.
I don't know where else to go,I have no one else to talk to, I
have no phone to call anyone,and so I knocked on his door.
I don't even know what time itwas, it was late in the evening,
so he kind of peeked it open,right.
(36:32):
It was like who the heck isbothering us?
And I tried to speak to him inEnglish because I didn't know
Turkish at this time, and hejust was like I don't know, like
close the door, just closed itin my face and like at this
moment I was just like I reallyam, I have no other option.
I have to knock on this guy'sdoor again because I literally
don't know what else to do.
And so I just knocked again andI just begged him for help.
(36:53):
I tried to use a couple Turkishwords, tried to like mime, that
I was like locked out of myapartment.
How are you even supposed to dothat when you don't know any of
the language?
I did know like yes, no, I knewthe word dog and please wait, I
knew a few words, that was it.
(37:15):
And so I was just trying tomime everything and literally in
the process of doing this, justbegging him for help.
I'm thinking about sticking myfoot in the door in case he
tries to close it on me again,because I was just like you
can't close it on me.
You're my only hope.
You're all I have.
Anyways, eventually he calledone of the other residents that
(37:38):
lived in the apartment buildingwho spoke English, and she came
down and she was basically likewhat do you need?
Who are you?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
What is going on?
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Yeah, I explained to her the situation and of course,
the guy's like what am Isupposed to do?
I can't do anything to help her.
And I was like look, I don'tknow.
I don't know what I am askingof you, I don't know what you're
supposed to do, but I just knowthat I need your help.
And so, luckily, they ended upcalling someone.
I don't even know who he was,right, was he some sort of
(38:09):
locksmith, did he?
Just?
I don't know.
They called someone.
She took me up to her apartment.
I had to sit out in the hallbecause she didn't want the dog
in her apartment.
I just sat there for like ahalf an hour on the hallway
floor just waiting for thismysterious guy to hopefully show
up.
He shows up, he's able to likeJimmy into my apartment building
(38:33):
.
You know, I basically gave himall the money that I had in my
wallet.
He wanted more and I was like Idon't have more, I'm sorry,
he's like to mom.
And he walks out like he's likeokay, fine, it was absolutely
terrifying.
But only when I really got backin my apartment I like let all
of those emotions come, becauseI do think there's a part of you
(38:54):
.
That's okay.
I have to figure this out andright now I don't have time to
cry about it and I don't havetime to, like you know, panic.
I just have to figure it outand then, once I was safe, then
I was like okay now I can crybecause that was terrifying.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Well, good for you.
So you held it together justbecause you were focused.
You're like I got to dosomething.
But then, yeah, once the okay,I'm back, I'm in my apartment,
I'm safe, then you kind of, justbecause I was I mean some of
your stories I'm like I want tocry, like I'm like this is so
hard.
You know, just the panickyfeeling of you know.
But, like you said, I think inthat situation, what else are
you going to do?
I mean, there's you know, causeI was sitting there saying that
(39:34):
, like you said, there's no wayI can deal with that and I
couldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
But if you had to do it, what do you do if you have
to?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
I'm just amazed at at these experiences and that it
continues.
You know it continued for youthroughout the exactly.
You've had so many experiences.
I wanted to ask about kind ofthat, that role that you have as
and I love the name of the book, you know behind the bench
because Chris is like the focus.
You know he's kind of.
You know he's the big, tall,six foot 11 professional
basketball player and you havethat role as the support and
(40:10):
which is a super important role.
That's why I'm glad I got totalk to you, because I love the
fact that you're out telling,telling your story about this,
and I think I read a chapterthere.
You had a few moments whereyou're kind of like it was a
little bit hard that you knowChris was kind of the focus of
everything.
Little bit hard that you knowChris was kind of the focus of
everything.
People always want to ask aboutChris and this and that and you
know that sort of thing.
Kind of.
Tell me a little bit about thatand how you kind of evolved
(40:32):
from that and kind of whatyou're doing about that.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Sure, I think that you know, I grew up being a part
of a team.
My whole childhood I was a partof a team.
I had an important role in ourteam succeeding, and you always
would get this validation, evenif it's just from teammates,
right.
Even if it doesn't come fromoutside like rewards or you know
(40:56):
awards or championships oranything like that, you still
always have this like validationof you know your teammates or
fellow athletes or the school orwhatever it is Like.
You're kind of constantlygetting this like validation of
you know your teammates orfellow athletes or the school or
whatever it is like.
You're kind of constantlygetting this like attention and
validation.
That's just what I was used to.
It just all changed so quickly,like at once.
(41:17):
I, you know, I graduated, so nolonger part of the team.
I am now married, living awayfrom all of my family and
friends, everybody that I know,and then we started having kids,
so then I'm a mom, which anymom can attest that just
becoming a mom throws you for aloop of is this all I am now?
(41:41):
Is this who I am?
And I also think that mostathletes go through a period of
time, especially, you know, onceyou devote your whole life to
the sport, to becoming good atthe sport and to become really
good.
As much as you don't want toput your whole identity into the
(42:01):
sport, you kind of do becauseyou have to work on it so much.
It becomes such a huge part ofyour life that it is a huge part
of your identity All of asudden.
I was not a soccer player, Iwas married, I was a mom that in
itself.
And then you live on the otherside of the country where you
(42:22):
have no support group.
That was so hard.
But then, on top of that,nobody really seems to see me.
They just want to ask aboutChris, which is I loved talking
about Chris.
Chris is my favorite person.
I still love talking aboutChris.
But it was really hard for me tohave this new identity and try
(42:44):
and find who I was and feelstrong and capable and all of
these things that I used to feelin this new role when a lot of
people would not.
It was hard for me to feel seenwhen people were constantly
asking me about Chris and hiscareer and stuff.
I will say that it probablytook a few years.
(43:08):
I didn't resent him.
I didn't resent the questions.
I wasn't upset at people forasking those questions.
I understood why they wereasking those questions.
I understood why people were sofocused on him.
But it definitely took somedeep diving into myself
understanding, okay, what is myrole?
(43:28):
How can I be the strong andcapable in this role?
How can I, you know, feelconfident in this role, even if
I don't feel seen from anybodyelse?
I think the lifestyle in itselfis incredibly hard for people to
understand because they havenothing to relate to, right,
(43:49):
like you can't relate to, likethat lifestyle on the other side
of the world, when you knownone of that world, right, like
a lot of people don't understandwhat it's like to be in that,
in that, and so you tell storiesand whatnot, and they would
kind of just be like, oh, that'sso cool, whatever, like.
And people are kind of like, oh, this sounds so glamorous and
like amazing, and like just thiseasy, fluffy life, right, and
(44:12):
you're just like you have noidea what this is.
So it was like all of thosethings together, trying to
figure out who I was and beingproud of my role now just as
proud as my role now as I usedto be of saying I'm a soccer
player.
Right, I'm a mom, I'm a wife.
(44:33):
How can I make those things,how can I do them in the best
way that I can, to be proud ofthem?
And I started to see howimportant my role of supporting
Chris was in his success, likewe kind of mentioned in the
beginning, like I understood hisgame day routine and I
(44:53):
understood how important thatwas for him.
I understood that in the middleof the day he needed to take a
nap and I needed to keep thekids quiet so that he could
perform well that night and Iwasn't like upset about it.
It was something that I becamereally proud of that.
I knew how well that night andI wasn't like upset about it it
was.
It was something that I becamereally proud of that.
I knew how to support him and Iknew how to.
I knew what he needed to besuccessful and I started feeling
(45:16):
like his successes were alsomine.
And I think that was the key tofeeling really together, really
strong in my role, and howimportant it was.
Even if nobody else saw howimportant it was, I knew how
important it was and Chris knewhow important it was and he saw
(45:40):
how much I was.
Helping.
Right was helping right.
It was a process, but it wasdefinitely something that was
crucial to being able to doingit for so many years and getting
through and having all of thoseadventures.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, no doubt.
And one of the stories that youshared and it kind of makes I
kind of feel like you're kind oftalking about this a little bit
is when you surprised him in Ithink it was in Korea and
surprised him, showed up withyou and your two daughters and
at a championship game.
I think he lost the first gamebut won the next game, but
anyway, when they werecelebrating and there's graffiti
coming down, I felt like youwere able to celebrate that too,
(46:13):
like it was your championshipas well, even though Chris was
the player.
I kind of got that sense.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Absolutely, and that's absolutely how I felt.
I mean, I definitely took ahuge piece of his successes and
felt like I had an importantrole in that and I felt like it
was, you know, especiallyshowing up that year because
South Korea was a really, really, really difficult season.
(46:40):
Chris was the way they do itand where we lived, he was gone
well over 50% of the time.
I would say maybe even 75, 70%of the time he was gone, and so
it was just me, my two littlekids, and South Korea was one of
those places.
Not a lot of adults spokeEnglish yet, and so it was
(47:03):
incredibly challenging and I wasat.
It was at the end of the season, you know, you go and you don't
think about it too Like we'reliving there for what nine
months of the year or somethinglike that.
I don't have babysitters, Idon't have neighbors, I don't
have family, right we're.
We don't go on, we're not goingon dates, I am just in it that
whole time with like no breaks.
(47:25):
My parents did come out, usuallyalmost every year to visit, so
we would get like a minute whereI had a little bit of help,
which was always just the best,but it was the very end of the
season and I was exhausted and Ihad our youngest.
I had a three-year-old and aone-year-old and if anybody has
(47:47):
had kids they know one-year-oldsare impossible to take them
places.
It is so they don't want to sitstill for two seconds.
They don't understand why theycan't run around, no matter
where you are right, chris hadsaid, like just stay home, it's
okay, because his home court waslike a six hour drive away and
so it was at home.
(48:07):
But you know that's it's likefrom Salt Lake city to like
Vegas or something.
The plan was for me to stay home, but the more I thought about
it, the more I was like I can'tnot be there.
I want to be there for himbecause it always meant so much
to him to have us in the stands.
(48:28):
That's really why he wasplaying.
Right, he loved the sport, heloved his career, but he really
was playing for our family.
He loved having us there in thestands and even if the kids were
really small and they couldn'tfully understand everything that
was going on or like thebrilliance of like his career,
(48:49):
like he still wanted them thereand I knew that.
I knew that this would be animportant moment and he knew
that he would want us there.
He was just trying to be nicebecause he knew that I was
exhausted and ready to go home,but I worked it out so that I
was able to fly down andsurprise him.
It was one of the best momentsbecause, like you said, it was
(49:11):
just one of those moments whereI was like this is my
championship, this is my joy isbeing able to be here and have
our family together with histeam and all celebrate together.
And the fact that they won thechampionship that year it was,
it was incredible.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
It's amazing.
I love it throughout this wholejourney.
I know I've been talking to youfor quite a while here, so I
appreciate your time.
I don't want to keep you toolong.
I did want to ask about yourthe role of a faith in all of
this Cause I know that'simportant to you and to Chris.
How did that play outthroughout this whole time?
Speaker 2 (49:44):
It was a very important piece.
I touch on it a little bit inmy book.
I do think that it's a part ofus staying together.
We just believed that if wewere together we could get
through anything and if we weretogether in faith we really
(50:04):
could bust through mountains.
It took a lot.
I think we had faith together.
I think that we knew that wewere living the best lives that
we could.
But when he was gone, I a lot oftimes wouldn't have anyone to
rely on.
And I was a mom and I was goingthrough lots of hard things
with little kids to rely on.
(50:25):
And I was a mom and I was goingthrough lots of hard things
with little kids.
And I think that my faithreally pulled me through a lot
of those times where I'm like,can I really do this?
Can I continue to live this way?
It was just really, really hardand I think that, knowing I was
never truly alone, I always feltlike, you know, I had
(50:54):
companionship through all ofthese trials.
You know I could pray and Icould feel and I could teach my
kids faith through all of these.
It was a huge part of the wholeexperience and, again, it's a
part of why I wanted to writethe book is to show my kids like
, look at these crazy,challenging things that you were
a part of and we had faithgoing through all of them.
(51:16):
And I do believe that a hugereason why I was able to you
know, be successful, able to youknow, be successful, continue
to support him, raise my kids,was because of the faith that I
had.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
I love that.
Thank you for sharing that.
And my final question to youyou're I'm not going to say your
age, cause I know that'sinappropriate, but you're Lisa
now and you look at Lisa, youngLisa Burgess, who's about to hop
on that plane to go to Turkeyto meet up with her husband.
What would you tell her now,young Lisa Burgess, who's about
to hop on that plane to go toTurkey to meet up with her
husband?
What would you tell her now,knowing what you know now?
What would you tell that youngLisa if you had a minute or two
(51:53):
to talk to her?
Speaker 2 (51:54):
Well, first I would laugh and be like you have no
idea what you're getting into,and then I think that I would
just say look, whatever happens,you're strong enough, because
there isn't a lot that you cantell someone.
It's like trying to give adviceto someone who's about to have
a baby, right, like there's nota lot you can say.
You just have to go through it.
(52:14):
And then you're like dang, likeI get why other people are
saying this, or now I understandwhy I felt this way.
So there's not a lot you cansay.
But I do think that and againit's a message that I wanted to
give to my kids through thisbook is you are enough, you are
strong enough, you are capable.
It's going to be messy, it'snot going to look like the path
(52:35):
that you see in your head.
Right, you don't know what isgoing to happen, and that's okay
.
You don't need to know.
Just be who you are, be good,you know, have faith and it can
all be beautiful, even thoughit's really messy and crazy, and
you know lots of twists andturns, but you're strong enough
(52:56):
and you can.
You know you can do this.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Lisa, you and Chris.
You have a beautiful family.
I love what you're doing.
I love your book.
Thank you for sharing that.
If someone wants to get thebook, where can they find the
book?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
Easiest Place is on Amazon.
The hardcover is not quiteavailable on Amazon yet, but the
ebook and the paperback are onAmazon.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Perfect.
Yeah, go out and get that bookYep.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Behind the Bench Looks like this Great book.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Thank you so much for coming on Journey with Jake.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Thank you so much for coming on Journey with Jake.
Thank you, thanks for having methis was great.
Speaker 1 (53:24):
A huge thank you to Lisa Burgess for sharing her
heart and her story with ustoday.
If you'd like to dive deeper,be sure to grab a copy of her
book atBehindTheBenchBookstorecom, or
you can look up Lisa Burgess onAmazon and get the book.
Fantastic book, it's beenawesome to read, so check it out
.
Thank you so much, Lisa, forjoining me today.
I really appreciate it.
(53:45):
And to you, my listeners, Ican't thank you enough for
tuning in each week.
Your support means the world tome.
If you've been inspired byLisa's journey, I'd love for you
to share journey with Jake,with a friend or family member
who could use a little adventureand encouragement in their life
.
Be sure to join me next week asI sit down with John Leonard.
We'll talk about his love forIreland, the sport of rugby and
(54:11):
his unique fiction book seriesthat weaves in the Bible.
It's going to be another greatjourney you won't want to miss.
And just remember, it's notalways about the destination as
it is about the journey.
Take care everybody.
Thank you.
Lisa Burgess knows what it means to build a home
wherever life takes you.
As the wife of a professionalbasketball player and mom to
five kids, she's lived a journeyof love, resilience and
adventure.
In her book Behind the Bench,she brings to life the joys and
challenges that shaped herfamily story, and today she
shares it with us.
Welcome to Journey with Jake.
(00:22):
This is a podcast aboutadventure and how, through our
adventures, we can overcome thechallenges of life that come our
way.
While I expect you will learnsome things about different
adventures, this show willentertain you.
Each episode will feature adifferent guest or guests, as
they share experiences andstories from the different
adventures they have been on on.
(00:45):
Not only will you beentertained, but you will also
hear the failures and trialseach guest faces and what they
have done or are doing toovercome the hardships that come
their way.
My goal is to take each of us ona journey through the
experiences of my guests, withthe hope that you'll be
entertained and inspired toovercome your day-to-day
challenges.
After all, it's not about thedestination as it is about the
(01:19):
journey.
Be sure to follow along onInstagram and YouTube at Journey
with Jake podcast.
Hit that subscribe buttonwherever you're listening, so
you never miss an episode, don'tforget.
Journey with Jake is part ofthe Podmatch podcast network,
where you'll find even moreamazing shows to inspire your
journey.
(01:44):
Today's guest is Lisa Burgess,author of Behind the Bench Life.
As the Wife of a ProfessionalBasketball Player and Mama Five
Brought Plenty of Adventure, butit also came with real
challenges, moments that testedher strength and stretched her
faith.
Lisa opens up about how thoseexperiences shaped her and the
growth that came from them.
And if this episode speaks toyou, be sure to check out
episode 144 with Autumn Carolyn,where she shares her own
powerful journey of resilienceand adventure.
Okay, let's get to myconversation with Lisa Burgess.
(02:06):
I'm excited today I've got LisaBurgess joining me.
Lisa, welcome to Journey withJake.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Thanks, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, this is fun for me.
I saw your story through thenewspaper.
I think is how I kind of see it.
Or you know, online news Idon't know who, anybody who has
newspapers nowadays but I sawyour story and I thought it
struck me because journey withJake it's an adventure podcast,
but it's also kind of yourjourney and who you are and the
adventures.
You had your book.
You wrote a book called behindthe bench memoir of a basketball
(02:34):
wife.
Your husband was a professionalbasketball player and it's
mostly the stories abouttraveling around with him
through I mean, I think you werein nine different countries.
Just the cultural shocks theexperiences you had were intense
.
I had a guest once who told mehe said adventure.
It's not an adventure until aproblem happens or until a
challenge happens, and if that'sthe way to describe it, you had
(02:56):
years full of adventures withthis experience.
So I think it fits perfect.
Plus, I've always kind ofwanted to know about kind of
your role too, as you know,supporting your husband and and
you look at it and you'rethinking, your husband, I think
he's what 6'10".
I mean he's tall.
Yeah, 6'11" yeah 6'11", okay,6'11", so super tall.
(03:18):
He's kind of the one who getslike a lot of the attention, and
so I was happy to see that youwrote this book, because I kind
of want to hear your side of thestory and kind of what it was
like for you as well.
Before we dive into it, though,I want to know just kind of
your background when did yougrow up, kind of what was your
situation growing up and kind ofhow you met Chris.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah, I grew up outside of Logan, utah, up by
Utah State, small small towncalled Millville.
I have three older brothers soI was a tomboy through and
through.
I just wanted to be like mybrothers growing up, played all
the sports, fell in love withsoccer.
Soccer took me to theUniversity of Utah so I played
(03:55):
soccer there and then mysophomore.
At the beginning of mysophomore year, chris
transferred into Utah.
He was at Duke before thattransferred into Utah.
We met right away and then weended up dating the rest of the
time we were there together andthen we got married right after
we graduated.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And then the adventure begins.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah for sure, but you as a soccer player, what is
it about?
It seems like athletes attractother athletes.
I mean, it seems like I see alot of that Was that kind of
what how it was?
Cause he was an athlete, youwere an athlete.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I think that you just end up having a lot of
similarities.
You understand each other on alevel that, like non-athletes
wouldn't be able to.
Not that there's anything rightor wrong about that, but there
is something to being a tryingto be as elite athlete as you
can.
That takes a lot of sacrifice,determination.
(04:51):
You know whatever it is thatcomes in your way and I think,
fellow athletes, you understandthat without really having to
talk about it.
Right, you just get each other.
You understand, like, if you'retired, like I just want to go
to bed, okay, I get it.
You're exhausted, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
It probably worked out well, then, for you being
the support for him having thatbackground in sports.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, it was a huge advantage.
I am not sure that I would havebeen nearly as understanding
throughout his career if Ihadn't gone through some of the
stuff that I went through as anathlete.
I probably would have beenresentful and frustrated at a
lot of little things because ittakes to play professional
(05:37):
sports I mean to play in collegeis one level.
To play professional sports anddeal with the business side of
everything and like performanceson the line all the time, it's
the pressure is way more than alot of people realize.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So there's a lot that goes into making sure that you
know you're performing well,consistently yeah, I think it's
one thing to have, you know, alove of the game and a love of
the sport, but when on thatbusiness side, that's a whole
different pressure that's addedinto that.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, it's super tricky.
You don't really think about it.
I mean, especially overseas,you know we would see guys have
a couple bad games and getwaived.
They would just pick somebodyelse up.
You can't afford to have thisstretch of bad games, or else
you lose your job and then youknow you got to try and find
another one.
You might be out for the restof the year.
(06:30):
It's a lot.
So when you're supporting yourfamily that way, it's extra
pressure.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
What do you think the impact of having three older
brother was for you?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I just.
They just made me tough becausethey treated me like I was a
little brother.
Basically I was annoying littlesisters, but it was fun.
They beat me up.
I tried my best to beat them up.
I grew up rough and tumble.
Really.
One of my best friends was theyoungest of all girls and I
(07:01):
would go over to her house andbe like I don't understand what
is happening here.
Why are you all screaming ateach other?
Just like, hit each other andget on with it, right?
I think that it just helped mecoming into sports Like I just
was.
I was really tough and I didn'tcare how much I got beat up.
I just wanted to push throughit and be the best you know.
I do think that having threeolder brothers who who
(07:24):
challenged me all growing up hada lot to do with.
I think that it was inside ofme, but they really brought it
out of me.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Are you still close with your family, with your
brothers and your parents?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, we're close.
All my family lives up in CacheValley up there around Logan.
We're close.
Crash valley up there aroundLogan.
We're close, we get together.
You know it's tough to geteverybody's families together
and whatnot, but you do and youcan All right Behind the bench
again.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I'm right in the middle of it.
I'm probably three quarters ofthe way done.
I love it.
It's been a lot of fun.
What was the inspiration behindit?
Why did you say, hey, I want totell my story?
Did you say, hey, I want totell my story?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
It started just as a way to write down my stories,
our stories, for our kids, causeChris, my husband, played
overseas for 11 years and westarted having kids right away.
So we had all five of our kidsduring those 11 years.
I wasn't very good atjournaling, I mean, I was
(08:26):
surviving motherhood andtraveling all over the place, so
I one day realized there's thismassive chunk of their
childhood that we talk about alittle bit, but they just don't.
They'll never know what it waslike.
So I really wanted to write thestories down so that they could
have them.
So that's how it started.
(08:50):
I didn't have really intentionson writing a book, but I just
wanted to write stories down.
But as I was talking about itespecially with friends they
would always they would theywere like you have to write a
book, like I want to read it, Iwant to read it, please write a
book.
And so I think that they kindof planted a seed that I was
like maybe I could turn thisinto a book.
I started out just being like,okay, I'll write a book, but I'm
not going to worry about, youknow, making it good or anything
(09:12):
.
I just want again, I just wantthe stories down and it just
kind of eventually morphed intolike oh, I think this could be
something that other peoplewould enjoy, or even get you
know fellow wives ofprofessional athletes,
especially those going overseas.
You know we've been connectedby people and they'll ask me for
(09:34):
advice or like, how do youhandle this situation?
Or that you know, and I'm likeit's really hard to feel seen,
and so I really loved the ideaof this book helping someone
going through that situation tofeel seen.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
It's a good way to do it.
So it kind of almost like alegacy thing for your, for your
family, like here's what we didbut then it became a published
book.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Kind of morphed into published book, yeah, but the
the main goal was always to haveit for my family, for my kids
especially, and then there justkind of became added benefits to
to it.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I've noticed as I've read through it, it's it's not
like just chronological, it'skind of you know, you kind of
jump around to different things.
What was kind of the ideabehind that?
Was it cause, I think youdivided into parts of when I was
taken?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, yep, so my very first draft was chronological.
I went year by year and triedto just spit out all everything
that I could remember, causethat's another reason why I
wanted to write a book because Inoticed that some of my
memories were starting to.
You know, I couldn't quiteremember this detail or why this
happened, or like you know, andso I was like I want to get
(10:43):
these down before I reallyforget them.
My first draft waschronological, but when I
decided to make it a full-blownmemoir, I decided to read a
whole bunch of memoirs to get anidea of how they flowed, what
they sounded like, what thestructure was, so that I felt a
little bit more because I don'tconsider myself an author Like
(11:05):
this is not what I studied oranything like that.
So I needed to find out what itshould look like, and so I read
a ton of memoirs.
I found a couple that I lovedthe most, and I really kind of
structured my book after thatand I read some.
I listened to some podcasts andthey literally said don't,
(11:27):
don't do it chronologically,create themes, skip around, so
that things.
So I did kind of do six parts,kind of tried to like talk about
stories that were in this kindof you know umbrella of this
theme for this part, for thispart, for this part, and then
kind of end with the end of hisplaying career.
(11:49):
That kind of you know meltedinto his now coaching career.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I love it.
Yeah, it's, it's like I said,it's been good.
I'm not quite through it allyet, but there's been some just
fantastic stories and adventures.
And if you think about the wordadventure, so to you, to you,
Lisa, what does adventure meanto you?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I mean to me.
I think that my definition hasa lot to do with not really
knowing what's going to happenor how it's going to go, or even
how it's going to end.
Right, You're jumping intosomething and you're just like,
hey, let's see, having to figureit out, having to stumble over
hurdles, and then at the end,you have this story that you can
(12:30):
tell and you're like look atwhat I did, look at how much I
grew, look at how much fun wehad, look at how hard that was.
That's kind of how I've alwaysI don't know that I would have
defined it that way beforelooking back and talking about
all of the adventures everysingle one is okay.
Well, we did this thing, had noidea how it was going to go,
(12:52):
Stumbled, end up with thisamazing adventure in the end
that you grow from and learnfrom.
Who knew that it was going tobe?
So like terrible, hard,beautiful, amazing, right, All
the things.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
That's what's so amazing about.
When I hear people's differentstories and the different
adventures, the things you gothrough, sometimes you're like
this was awful, but then youlook back and like, but I
learned this from it.
All right, it's just, it'samazing what you do.
You start having kids rightaway.
So you have all these kids inthese 11 years that Chris was
playing overseas five kids.
(13:30):
I think he had three girls andtwo boys, in that order I think
it was three girls were off thebat, I think, if I mess up, the
name correct me, is it Ava?
Was the first one born out ofthe U S yes.
Do you mind kind of sharing thatstory a little bit, Because I
was kind of I was kind oftouched by that whole.
First of all, I think you werein Ukraine and you were trying
to maybe, and then ended upsomewhere else.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, so the story actually begins, and I didn't
really talk about this part inthe book, but the story really
begins.
I'm pregnant, we're home forthe summer and we're looking at,
we're talking to his agent.
His agent has severalopportunities for him and
there's one in Germany, there'sone in Ukraine, I can't remember
(14:09):
there was another one, I don'teven remember where it was, and
I was pregnant and so I was likeGermany, let's go to Germany.
The contract for Ukraine wasmuch better, it was a much
bigger job.
So he's like I just feel likewe need to do this and I was
(14:30):
like okay, I guess we'll see howthis goes Right.
So we go to the Ukraine.
And that was a whole story initself, because whenever we
would go to a foreign country,the club would provide Chris
with a translator.
Some countries, like a lot ofhis teammates, would speak
English, some countries theywouldn't, and he would just be
with a translator the whole time, right, and he would learn a
(14:51):
lot of the language prettyquickly because he's around it
so much.
I had to find a doctor in theUkraine and nobody was speaking
English.
His translator, his name wasKonstantin, he would take me to
go find.
Okay, here I set up thisdoctor's appointment, let's go
and meet the doctor.
And we would go meet the doctor.
And I mean, the city that welived in was not a capital city.
(15:15):
Right, it wasn't a big city.
If you know, if you've traveledoverseas, you can always tell
the difference between being ina major city versus not being in
a major city.
Right, there's huge differenceslanguage, culture, groceries,
everything.
We tried going to doctor'sappointments and I mean I felt
like I went back in time 50years.
(15:35):
There was one time where a catran down the hallway, there was
spider webs in corners, it wasfreezing cold.
It felt like there was no heatin the clinic.
There was one where we walkedin and the whole room was filled
with smoke because the doctorwas just sitting there smoking.
I was just like where am I?
(15:56):
So I was not feeling supergreat about this whole situation
.
I was trying to figure out, butat the very beginning of
Chris's career we had kind ofmade this promise to each other
we're staying together, right,we're sticking together because,
honestly, a lot of guys that goplay overseas, their families,
stay back home.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I've noticed that.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
And that's okay.
Whatever works for each coupleis what works, but for us we
didn't want to do that.
We wanted to stay together.
So I really didn't feel goodabout coming back home.
I didn't want to come back home.
I didn't feel good aboutleaving Chris.
We wanted to stay together.
We were trying to make it work.
But the longer we were there,the more I was starting to get
(16:37):
really nervous because I wasgetting.
I mean, at this point I waslike six months along and I was
just like, is this really whatwe're doing?
I was like six months along andI was just like, is this really
what we're doing?
It just so happened that theirteam ended up dropping out of
the EuroLeague.
This whole thing kind ofhappened.
They stopped kind of payingsome of their players and
(16:57):
Chris's agent came in and madethis deal with the team to waive
Chris, give him his money thathe was owed.
I mean, they gave him part andlike right away he was picked up
by a team in Turkey.
He literally called me.
I was home, he was not.
He called me and was just likehey, we're moving to Turkey, we
(17:18):
have a flight in three hours andwe had two little kids and a
dog, our dog.
We took our dog everywhere withus and she was a big dog.
She was a Weimaraner, not somelittle dog, right.
So I have to.
I am scurrying around ourapartment just throwing
everything in our suitcases,getting our kids ready, and he's
(17:39):
just like we have to leave,like right when I get home.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
How old were your daughters at this point?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
They were four and two yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Four-year-old, a toddler, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And you're pregnant and you have a dog.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, yeah.
But luckily it all worked out.
We got to the airport on time.
We just bribed the workers tolet our dog through because she
had no paperwork right?
You're supposed to getpaperwork from the vet and all
this stuff, and luckily theydidn't care.
We gave them some money andthey didn't care, let us on
through.
So we ended up in Turkey Again.
(18:15):
We were in a small city, so itwas about three hours outside of
Istanbul, and Istanbul has likesome pretty decent medical
facilities.
But I was too nervous to havethat be my kind of doctor home
base, because if Chris were tobe out of town while I went into
(18:36):
labor, that means like what,I'm driving three hours to the
hospital myself, right, Icouldn't do that.
Luckily one of his teammateshad a wife who spoke English and
she became my best friend, soshe took me to, she helped me
find a doctor, she took me tolike my first few doctor's
appointments.
She attended them with me.
So that cause you think thatit's easy, like here, you just
(18:59):
like go to the office, you checkin, like they call you back
Overseas.
It just doesn't work like that.
Like there's always like stophere and do this and then go
over here and do this.
There's always these steps,it's just more complicated.
I don't know why.
Maybe it's not like thatanymore, but that's how it used
to be.
Anyways, we finally found adoctor.
His teammates were like Baba,you're crazy.
(19:20):
They couldn't believe that Iwas giving birth in that town.
His Turkish teammates that arefrom there they were like what
are you doing?
But I did feel good about itand I was just like everything's
going to be okay, I just knowit.
This is kind of like our answerto all the prayers that I was
(19:42):
saying.
Right, that's what I felt.
Luckily, chris was in town whenI went into labor.
He was at practice, so I tookmy two older girls and dropped
them off with my friend anddrove myself to the little
hospital clinic.
The doctor didn't believe thatI was in labor and it was a
(20:02):
whole thing.
Anyways, they finally realizedthat I was and when Chris got
done with practice, he ran overand met me at the hospital.
It was the middle of the night.
He had been there.
It was like maybe a couplehours of labor and then it was
like okay, it's time to push.
I had had no pain medicine.
They gave me no pain medicinefor anything.
(20:23):
They wanted him to leave theroom because it's Islamic
country, right?
And it's kind of like what theyabide by.
And luckily my Turkish friendwas there at the time.
She had dropped our kids offwith a different teammate's wife
and came to the hospital tohelp me because she knew that
none of the nurses spoke English.
The doctor spoke English, buthe wasn't around a lot around a
(20:54):
lot as we were walking to thedelivery room.
I didn't realize this untillater, but Chris saw my doctor
at the end of the hall smoking.
So Chris Reisen gets in frontof me and walks in front of me
and then we go into the deliveryroom.
So he told me this like whenyou go home it's later, so we're
in there.
Anyways, niloufer, who's myTurkish friend, she talked them
into allowing Chris in the room.
(21:16):
She's like look, it's themiddle of the night, no one else
is here.
This is their culture, this istheir tradition.
Please allow him in the room.
And so they did.
Thankfully he was able to be inthere, and so they did.
(21:49):
Thankfully he was able to be inthere, gave birth.
The doctor had to stitch me upa little bit and again, nothing,
know they did?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
they had no diapers.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
They had no blankets, they hadn't like we had to
bring everything ourselves.
We did stay.
I well I should say I stayedthere for the rest of the night
so I had her just after midnight.
So they had me stay in a roomthere was like no nursery or
anything like that that likejust me and my baby stayed in
that little room.
Chris went home because he hada big game the next day, so he
(22:14):
was just like good job, love you.
Congratulations Good night, I'llsee you tomorrow.
So he went home so that hecould sleep and Milford actually
ended up coming back to thehospital and staying the night
with me helping me, which youknow.
I had been up for so long, Iwas exhausted, she was having
(22:34):
sent.
And then so the next morningthey, chris, came back.
We left the hospital.
We had to pay the bill beforebefore we could go.
It had to be paid in full.
So Chris is like asking Milfordcan I use like a couple
different credit cards?
You know we didn't haveinsurance or anything like that.
She's like yeah, no problem.
So we went down to the officeon our way out to pay the bill
(22:58):
and, yeah, it's this much.
It ended up being like $275total for everything.
Chris is like we should havemore kids.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
You're like wait a minute?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
No, but yeah.
And then I had to go get atetanus shot just in case you
know, things weren't sterile.
So, wow, I was really supergrateful that it was my.
She was my third baby, Cause ifthat would have been my
experience on my first, I wouldhave been like, I know, Because
if that would have been myexperience on my first, I would
have been like I'm done.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, no more kids for us, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
But luckily I knew what was going on.
I'd been living overseas longenough to know.
Yeah, there's a lot ofdifferences and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
And that was Turkey.
I think that was your second orthird time in Turkey too, so
you kind of knew.
Turkey culture a little bit too, which was probably helpful.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Super helpful.
Yeah, turkey too.
So you kind of knew, yes,turkey culture a little bit too,
which is probably helpful,super helpful.
Yeah, it was super helpful tolike understand turkish culture
and know that.
Yeah, it was really helpful.
I'm not sure that it would havebeen again as comfortable if we
had never been in turkey, butwhen we right, when we got to
turkey, it was like, okay, Ifeel good, I would have felt
better if we were in likeistanbul, like, yeah sure yeah,
but it probably still feltbetter if we were in like
Istanbul.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yeah, sure, yeah, but it probably still felt better
than what you were experiencingin Ukraine.
Yeah, totally.
Answer to prayer, but immediate.
That's crazy, too, that we'reour flights in three hours and,
wow, I just don't know how youprocessed all that.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, you know, it just became something that you
get used to.
You get used to like phonecalls, changing everything at
any moment and just having tolike, learn, you know, adapt
right now.
There's no time to process allthese.
I am very much a type A person.
I am like I want a plan, I wantto know what's going on.
(24:42):
I I want all of my questionsanswered Right.
And so I struggled the firstfew years of his career because
I was so outside my comfort zonewhen it came to that stuff.
Like even with you know,hearing from his agent, I'd be
like, well, what's going on?
Like what are the options andwhat is he saying about this,
this, this, this, this?
(25:02):
And he was just like Lise, whenhe has something, he'll call me
and I'm like, oh my gosh, likewe just have to sit here and
wait for a phone call.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I think I liked that about your book was the, the
combination of the both of you,two of your husband, cause he's
kind of I don't want to say dry,but like his, like you said at
the hospital.
Well, I got to go Good job Like, and I'm at, you know just he's
super.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
he's super laid back, easygoing, very flexible.
Yeah, we balance each other alot.
He helped me learn how to beflexible and adaptable a lot
more.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
That's great, I'm sure, and I know he learned a
lot from you as well, so I thinkthat's good.
I like that combo that you bothhad.
Okay.
So we said we mentioned Ukraine, we mentioned Turkey.
What were the other countriesthat you both had?
Okay?
So we said we mentioned Ukraine, we mentioned Turkey.
What were the other countriesthat you were in?
Speaker 2 (25:51):
We were in Australia, so we spent a couple seasons in
Australia, two and a halfactually.
We spent some time in PuertoRico, Philippines.
Let's see Poland, a coupledifferent cities in Poland, the
UAE so he spent a season inDubai and then one in Abu Dhabi
and then South Korea.
(26:13):
I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
That's it right.
Okay, when you look back to allthe different countries, I
think was Turkey the first placeyou went.
I think that was the first.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yes, so we went to Izmir, turkey, okay, very first,
very first.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
So when you look back and you, I mean you got, I
think at the time.
Was it just you and chris atthat time, or did you have a?
Did you have your oldestdaughter yet?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
just you and chris ismere.
It was just us okay, just you,yep.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
But then over the years, you know, you know, you
blossom into a family of sevenhere.
What was some of, what weresome of the biggest cultural
adjustments?
Speaker 2 (26:44):
yeah, I think that you know, I feel like here in
America like big families.
Even though there are someareas where big families might
not be as common, or like youhave five kids and people are
like, holy cow, five kids,whatever it's still decently
normal.
Big families are normal.
Most places we lived overseasit was not normal at all, and so
(27:06):
when we had our first couplekids it wasn't that big of a
deal.
But once we started having moreit was actually pretty
challenging to live somewherewith that many kids.
You just were so different.
It was hard to People kind of goto the market every day and
just get a few things here andthere.
So I would go and just get thisload of stuff and people would
(27:30):
just be like, what are you doing?
So it's like it kind of waslittle things that you wouldn't
really think of.
But of course, living indifferent countries like when
your kid gets sick and you'regoing to a doctor that you don't
a hundred percent trust youknow you're hoping that they're
giving you the right advice andyou're just having to kind of
(27:52):
put your trust in people.
Like in South Korea we had adoctor like he didn't speak
English at all and so I wouldhave to go there with my kid and
then use, you know, on my phone, talk in my phone and then give
my phone to the doctor and thenthe interpreter, chris's
interpreter would be on theother side talking my phone and
then give my phone to the doctorand then the interpreter,
chris's interpreter, would be onthe other side of the phone and
(28:12):
he would interpret ourconversation through the phone
and then you would leave andpick up this.
You know they do medicinedifferent, right?
Like everything's crushed andlike crushed pills instead of
like liquid, and so then you'rejust like what is this Like?
There's so many things that youwouldn't really think about
until you like live there.
(28:32):
I feel like visiting somewhereis a completely different
experience than living somewhere.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Definitely, and I've talked to a lot of people who
travel and they're like oh,we're going to experience the
culture.
But I think it is a totallydifferent thing, especially
after reading your book, of whenyou're actually living in it.
It's kind of a differentscenario for sure.
I love the fact that youblended a lot of the challenging
things, and there were someparts where I was shaking my
head.
I'm like I don't know how youdid it, let alone you know, I
(28:59):
was just like wow, I was justamazed.
But there was also you.
There were some funny thingstoo, some humorous things.
Can you give me one or two youknow examples of something?
Maybe that was kind of funnyjust with.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
You know the culture, just you know your experiences
as a family, any of thosesituations.
Yeah, I, I do think you knowit's funny.
So when we're in south korea,age is a huge thing.
You speak differently tosomeone who's older than you,
then you speak to someone who'syounger than you, and so this is
just a little.
This isn't really a story, butit was so hilarious to me that,
like when normal day to day lifehere, like one of the first I
(29:34):
mean you can imagine, with Chrisbeing 6'11", one of the very
first questions that anybodyever asks is how tall are you?
Or how tall is he?
Right, like always.
But in South Korea it wasalways how old is he, how old
are you?
Always, but in South Korea itwas always how old is he, how
old are you?
And it was just it would crackus up because we're just like
(29:55):
only here do people care moreabout my age than my height.
I'm sure that that was thesecond question, but there were
just little things you know, andone of the funny story is
overseas, they're real.
I mean, maybe it's more commonnow, but it's not super common
to have automatic cars.
A lot of them are still manualtransmissions.
(30:17):
I learned how to drive on amanual transmission.
I was really good at drivingthem, but Chris didn't.
He didn't know how, he didn'tknow how.
And so when we're in theukraine, they gave us a car with
a manual transmission and I washaving to like drive him to
practice and like wake my kidsup from their naps just to drive
him to practice, or go pick himup or all these things.
And again I was pregnant and sohis teammates started giving
(30:40):
him a really hard time aboutlike what are you going to do?
Have your wife drive you to thehospital when she's in labor?
Right, like come on, like learnhow to drive a stick.
And so we had to go to aparking lot little kids in the
back like laughing teachingchris how to drive a stick shift
.
He got on.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
He got on pretty quickly but, yeah I'm imagining
too, just someone who's 6 11just seeing them in a car.
It's got to be.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
It's got to be interesting having to adjust a
lot of his a lot of his heightis his legs.
He has really long legs, soit's not like driving a stick is
like super easy, right, likehe's worrying about his knees
hitting the dashboard and it wastricky but it was funny.
But it was one of those thingswhere you're just like only here
would you be forced to do this.
Right, you're not doing thisback home.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
I love it because you have that memory now.
Yeah, you know, that's thestuff that you can look back on.
And then there was also thosemoments that were difficult and
you had some of those momentswhere you're probably just
questioning what am I doing?
How's this going to work?
I think even right off the bat,in Turkey, I think, you locked
yourself out of your apartment,don't know how to talk to people
(31:47):
when you're in those momentsand if you want to share a
moment or whatever, how do youget over that?
How do you overcome that?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
I do think that my history of being an athlete,
having to go through injuries,having to go through all kinds
of setbacks, powering throughthat stuff, does help.
I think it did really help mehave this like resolve of well,
(32:16):
this is not a great situation,this is never what I would want,
but gonna have to figure outhow to get through it Right.
And so, yeah, I did.
Is mirror when we're in ismirror.
It was our first.
Luckily it didn't have any kidsfor this story.
But our apartment building, thedoor was like a hotel, Like the
outside was just automatic.
It was always locked.
And we had our dog, who wasjust a brand new puppy, and so
(32:40):
Chris was out of town on a roadtrip, and yep, of course, and so
I was taking the dog out onelast time before, like we were
going to go to bed.
I don't know why, but I grabbedmy phone instead of grabbing
the keys, and back then, like wedidn't use our phone.
Like now you're like, well,yeah, it's normal to grab your
phone, but like this is way backbefore, cell phones were really
(33:04):
that great, right, like it wasthis old brick Nokia, like the
only thing that was on there waslike to call people or like
play snake right, like that wasit.
And so it was a phone that theclub had provided because it
still wasn't like international.
Like you couldn't take a cellphone from here and use it
internationally.
You had to get a cell phonethere with a SIM card from there
(33:25):
, and it's a whole thing.
I grab my phone and take Django,our dog, out, come back and I
don't realize that I don't havethe keys until I go to get in my
apartment and I don't have mykeys, and so I'm just sitting
there like, oh my gosh, what doI do?
And so I was like, okay, beforeChris left, this is like our
(33:47):
one phone, but before we, beforehe left, he's like okay, if you
need anything, if there'ssomething that comes up and like
you need to get ahold of me,call this guy.
They called him Cap because hewas the captain of the team.
He's like call Cap, here's hisnumber.
Like, call him him, he can geta hold of me and you know figure
stuff out.
So I went I was like, okay, well, I guess I'll call cap, talk to
(34:10):
Chris, maybe they can havesomebody come and help me in.
And so I went to dial and I hadthe dog leash wrapped around my
wrist and right when I was likegoing to like dial, django like
lurched towards something andit pulled my hand and the phone
fell to the ground and thebattery popped off.
(34:32):
You know, because those oldNokia's you could just take the
battery right off.
And so when I put the batteryback on, it wanted a code.
You had to put in this code forthe phone to actually turn on.
And the code was on a piece ofpaper in our apartment.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I was like perfect.
And so I literally just stoodthere and was like what am I
supposed to do?
I'm by myself.
I know no one.
I know Chris.
I know his driver.
His driver doesn't even speakEnglish, so even if his driver
was here, it wouldn't help me.
You're just in this moment ofwhat am I supposed to do?
(35:12):
I don't know what to do.
You don't really have any otheroption but to try and just
figure out how to get through it.
You can say like, oh, I couldnever do that, or I would never
be tough enough to do that, butat the end of the day it's just
like well, what are the options?
Speaker 1 (35:26):
You have.
Yeah, you had to, I would have.
I mean, was there a moment ofpanic, you know, like when that
phone smashed?
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Definitely.
I definitely panic Like therewas definitely this.
I'm screwed, what am I supposedto do?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
But I mean I go through it pretty quickly Cause
you're just kind of like okay,well, I've got to figure this
out.
I mean I ended up going andknocking on this door on the on
the first level because onerandom day in passing Chris was
like this but like thisapartment is kind of like the
landlord ish, like they're notthe landlord, it's almost like
(36:02):
an RA of like, okay, like themanager, or something.
Yeah, yeah, and he had kind ofmentioned that, and so I was
like, well, I guess I'll gothere.
I don't know where else to go,I have no one else to talk to, I
have no phone to call anyone,and so I knocked on his door.
I don't even know what time itwas, it was late in the evening,
so he kind of peeked it open,right.
(36:32):
It was like who the heck isbothering us?
And I tried to speak to him inEnglish because I didn't know
Turkish at this time, and hejust was like I don't know, like
close the door, just closed itin my face and like at this
moment I was just like I reallyam, I have no other option.
I have to knock on this guy'sdoor again because I literally
don't know what else to do.
And so I just knocked again andI just begged him for help.
(36:53):
I tried to use a couple Turkishwords, tried to like mime, that
I was like locked out of myapartment.
How are you even supposed to dothat when you don't know any of
the language?
I did know like yes, no, I knewthe word dog and please wait, I
knew a few words, that was it.
(37:15):
And so I was just trying tomime everything and literally in
the process of doing this, justbegging him for help.
I'm thinking about sticking myfoot in the door in case he
tries to close it on me again,because I was just like you
can't close it on me.
You're my only hope.
You're all I have.
Anyways, eventually he calledone of the other residents that
(37:38):
lived in the apartment buildingwho spoke English, and she came
down and she was basically likewhat do you need?
Who are you?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
What is going on?
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Yeah, I explained to her the situation and of course,
the guy's like what am Isupposed to do?
I can't do anything to help her.
And I was like look, I don'tknow.
I don't know what I am askingof you, I don't know what you're
supposed to do, but I just knowthat I need your help.
And so, luckily, they ended upcalling someone.
I don't even know who he was,right, was he some sort of
(38:09):
locksmith, did he?
Just?
I don't know.
They called someone.
She took me up to her apartment.
I had to sit out in the hallbecause she didn't want the dog
in her apartment.
I just sat there for like ahalf an hour on the hallway
floor just waiting for thismysterious guy to hopefully show
up.
He shows up, he's able to likeJimmy into my apartment building
(38:33):
.
You know, I basically gave himall the money that I had in my
wallet.
He wanted more and I was like Idon't have more, I'm sorry,
he's like to mom.
And he walks out like he's likeokay, fine, it was absolutely
terrifying.
But only when I really got backin my apartment I like let all
of those emotions come, becauseI do think there's a part of you
(38:54):
.
That's okay.
I have to figure this out andright now I don't have time to
cry about it and I don't havetime to, like you know, panic.
I just have to figure it outand then, once I was safe, then
I was like okay now I can crybecause that was terrifying.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Well, good for you.
So you held it together justbecause you were focused.
You're like I got to dosomething.
But then, yeah, once the okay,I'm back, I'm in my apartment,
I'm safe, then you kind of, justbecause I was I mean some of
your stories I'm like I want tocry, like I'm like this is so
hard.
You know, just the panickyfeeling of you know.
But, like you said, I think inthat situation, what else are
you going to do?
I mean, there's you know, causeI was sitting there saying that
(39:34):
, like you said, there's no wayI can deal with that and I
couldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
But if you had to do it, what do you do if you have
to?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
I'm just amazed at at these experiences and that it
continues.
You know it continued for youthroughout the exactly.
You've had so many experiences.
I wanted to ask about kind ofthat, that role that you have as
and I love the name of the book, you know behind the bench
because Chris is like the focus.
You know he's kind of.
You know he's the big, tall,six foot 11 professional
basketball player and you havethat role as the support and
(40:10):
which is a super important role.
That's why I'm glad I got totalk to you, because I love the
fact that you're out telling,telling your story about this,
and I think I read a chapterthere.
You had a few moments whereyou're kind of like it was a
little bit hard that you knowChris was kind of the focus of
everything.
Little bit hard that you knowChris was kind of the focus of
everything.
People always want to ask aboutChris and this and that and you
know that sort of thing.
Kind of.
Tell me a little bit about thatand how you kind of evolved
(40:32):
from that and kind of whatyou're doing about that.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Sure, I think that you know, I grew up being a part
of a team.
My whole childhood I was a partof a team.
I had an important role in ourteam succeeding, and you always
would get this validation, evenif it's just from teammates,
right.
Even if it doesn't come fromoutside like rewards or you know
(40:56):
awards or championships oranything like that, you still
always have this like validationof you know your teammates or
fellow athletes or the school orwhatever it is Like.
You're kind of constantlygetting this like validation of
you know your teammates orfellow athletes or the school or
whatever it is like.
You're kind of constantlygetting this like attention and
validation.
That's just what I was used to.
It just all changed so quickly,like at once.
(41:17):
I, you know, I graduated, so nolonger part of the team.
I am now married, living awayfrom all of my family and
friends, everybody that I know,and then we started having kids,
so then I'm a mom, which anymom can attest that just
becoming a mom throws you for aloop of is this all I am now?
(41:41):
Is this who I am?
And I also think that mostathletes go through a period of
time, especially, you know, onceyou devote your whole life to
the sport, to becoming good atthe sport and to become really
good.
As much as you don't want toput your whole identity into the
(42:01):
sport, you kind of do becauseyou have to work on it so much.
It becomes such a huge part ofyour life that it is a huge part
of your identity All of asudden.
I was not a soccer player, Iwas married, I was a mom that in
itself.
And then you live on the otherside of the country where you
(42:22):
have no support group.
That was so hard.
But then, on top of that,nobody really seems to see me.
They just want to ask aboutChris, which is I loved talking
about Chris.
Chris is my favorite person.
I still love talking aboutChris.
But it was really hard for me tohave this new identity and try
(42:44):
and find who I was and feelstrong and capable and all of
these things that I used to feelin this new role when a lot of
people would not.
It was hard for me to feel seenwhen people were constantly
asking me about Chris and hiscareer and stuff.
I will say that it probablytook a few years.
(43:08):
I didn't resent him.
I didn't resent the questions.
I wasn't upset at people forasking those questions.
I understood why they wereasking those questions.
I understood why people were sofocused on him.
But it definitely took somedeep diving into myself
understanding, okay, what is myrole?
(43:28):
How can I be the strong andcapable in this role?
How can I, you know, feelconfident in this role, even if
I don't feel seen from anybodyelse?
I think the lifestyle in itselfis incredibly hard for people to
understand because they havenothing to relate to, right,
(43:49):
like you can't relate to, likethat lifestyle on the other side
of the world, when you knownone of that world, right, like
a lot of people don't understandwhat it's like to be in that,
in that, and so you tell storiesand whatnot, and they would
kind of just be like, oh, that'sso cool, whatever, like.
And people are kind of like, oh, this sounds so glamorous and
like amazing, and like just thiseasy, fluffy life, right, and
(44:12):
you're just like you have noidea what this is.
So it was like all of thosethings together, trying to
figure out who I was and beingproud of my role now just as
proud as my role now as I usedto be of saying I'm a soccer
player.
Right, I'm a mom, I'm a wife.
(44:33):
How can I make those things,how can I do them in the best
way that I can, to be proud ofthem?
And I started to see howimportant my role of supporting
Chris was in his success, likewe kind of mentioned in the
beginning, like I understood hisgame day routine and I
(44:53):
understood how important thatwas for him.
I understood that in the middleof the day he needed to take a
nap and I needed to keep thekids quiet so that he could
perform well that night and Iwasn't like upset about it.
It was something that I becamereally proud of that.
I knew how well that night andI wasn't like upset about it it
was.
It was something that I becamereally proud of that.
I knew how to support him and Iknew how to.
I knew what he needed to besuccessful and I started feeling
(45:16):
like his successes were alsomine.
And I think that was the key tofeeling really together, really
strong in my role, and howimportant it was.
Even if nobody else saw howimportant it was, I knew how
important it was and Chris knewhow important it was and he saw
(45:40):
how much I was.
Helping.
Right was helping right.
It was a process, but it wasdefinitely something that was
crucial to being able to doingit for so many years and getting
through and having all of thoseadventures.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, no doubt.
And one of the stories that youshared and it kind of makes I
kind of feel like you're kind oftalking about this a little bit
is when you surprised him in Ithink it was in Korea and
surprised him, showed up withyou and your two daughters and
at a championship game.
I think he lost the first gamebut won the next game, but
anyway, when they werecelebrating and there's graffiti
coming down, I felt like youwere able to celebrate that too,
(46:13):
like it was your championshipas well, even though Chris was
the player.
I kind of got that sense.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Absolutely, and that's absolutely how I felt.
I mean, I definitely took ahuge piece of his successes and
felt like I had an importantrole in that and I felt like it
was, you know, especiallyshowing up that year because
South Korea was a really, really, really difficult season.
(46:40):
Chris was the way they do itand where we lived, he was gone
well over 50% of the time.
I would say maybe even 75, 70%of the time he was gone, and so
it was just me, my two littlekids, and South Korea was one of
those places.
Not a lot of adults spokeEnglish yet, and so it was
(47:03):
incredibly challenging and I wasat.
It was at the end of the season, you know, you go and you don't
think about it too Like we'reliving there for what nine
months of the year or somethinglike that.
I don't have babysitters, Idon't have neighbors, I don't
have family, right we're.
We don't go on, we're not goingon dates, I am just in it that
whole time with like no breaks.
(47:25):
My parents did come out, usuallyalmost every year to visit, so
we would get like a minute whereI had a little bit of help,
which was always just the best,but it was the very end of the
season and I was exhausted and Ihad our youngest.
I had a three-year-old and aone-year-old and if anybody has
(47:47):
had kids they know one-year-oldsare impossible to take them
places.
It is so they don't want to sitstill for two seconds.
They don't understand why theycan't run around, no matter
where you are right, chris hadsaid, like just stay home, it's
okay, because his home court waslike a six hour drive away and
so it was at home.
(48:07):
But you know that's it's likefrom Salt Lake city to like
Vegas or something.
The plan was for me to stay home, but the more I thought about
it, the more I was like I can'tnot be there.
I want to be there for himbecause it always meant so much
to him to have us in the stands.
(48:28):
That's really why he wasplaying.
Right, he loved the sport, heloved his career, but he really
was playing for our family.
He loved having us there in thestands and even if the kids were
really small and they couldn'tfully understand everything that
was going on or like thebrilliance of like his career,
(48:49):
like he still wanted them thereand I knew that.
I knew that this would be animportant moment and he knew
that he would want us there.
He was just trying to be nicebecause he knew that I was
exhausted and ready to go home,but I worked it out so that I
was able to fly down andsurprise him.
It was one of the best momentsbecause, like you said, it was
(49:11):
just one of those moments whereI was like this is my
championship, this is my joy isbeing able to be here and have
our family together with histeam and all celebrate together.
And the fact that they won thechampionship that year it was,
it was incredible.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
It's amazing.
I love it throughout this wholejourney.
I know I've been talking to youfor quite a while here, so I
appreciate your time.
I don't want to keep you toolong.
I did want to ask about yourthe role of a faith in all of
this Cause I know that'simportant to you and to Chris.
How did that play outthroughout this whole time?
Speaker 2 (49:44):
It was a very important piece.
I touch on it a little bit inmy book.
I do think that it's a part ofus staying together.
We just believed that if wewere together we could get
through anything and if we weretogether in faith we really
(50:04):
could bust through mountains.
It took a lot.
I think we had faith together.
I think that we knew that wewere living the best lives that
we could.
But when he was gone, I a lot oftimes wouldn't have anyone to
rely on.
And I was a mom and I was goingthrough lots of hard things
with little kids to rely on.
(50:25):
And I was a mom and I was goingthrough lots of hard things
with little kids.
And I think that my faithreally pulled me through a lot
of those times where I'm like,can I really do this?
Can I continue to live this way?
It was just really, really hardand I think that, knowing I was
never truly alone, I always feltlike, you know, I had
(50:54):
companionship through all ofthese trials.
You know I could pray and Icould feel and I could teach my
kids faith through all of these.
It was a huge part of the wholeexperience and, again, it's a
part of why I wanted to writethe book is to show my kids like
, look at these crazy,challenging things that you were
a part of and we had faithgoing through all of them.
(51:16):
And I do believe that a hugereason why I was able to you
know, be successful, able to youknow, be successful, continue
to support him, raise my kids,was because of the faith that I
had.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
I love that.
Thank you for sharing that.
And my final question to youyou're I'm not going to say your
age, cause I know that'sinappropriate, but you're Lisa
now and you look at Lisa, youngLisa Burgess, who's about to hop
on that plane to go to Turkeyto meet up with her husband.
What would you tell her now,young Lisa Burgess, who's about
to hop on that plane to go toTurkey to meet up with her
husband?
What would you tell her now,knowing what you know now?
What would you tell that youngLisa if you had a minute or two
(51:53):
to talk to her?
Speaker 2 (51:54):
Well, first I would laugh and be like you have no
idea what you're getting into,and then I think that I would
just say look, whatever happens,you're strong enough, because
there isn't a lot that you cantell someone.
It's like trying to give adviceto someone who's about to have
a baby, right, like there's nota lot you can say.
You just have to go through it.
(52:14):
And then you're like dang, likeI get why other people are
saying this, or now I understandwhy I felt this way.
So there's not a lot you cansay.
But I do think that and againit's a message that I wanted to
give to my kids through thisbook is you are enough, you are
strong enough, you are capable.
It's going to be messy, it'snot going to look like the path
(52:35):
that you see in your head.
Right, you don't know what isgoing to happen, and that's okay
.
You don't need to know.
Just be who you are, be good,you know, have faith and it can
all be beautiful, even thoughit's really messy and crazy, and
you know lots of twists andturns, but you're strong enough
(52:56):
and you can.
You know you can do this.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Lisa, you and Chris.
You have a beautiful family.
I love what you're doing.
I love your book.
Thank you for sharing that.
If someone wants to get thebook, where can they find the
book?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
Easiest Place is on Amazon.
The hardcover is not quiteavailable on Amazon yet, but the
ebook and the paperback are onAmazon.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Perfect.
Yeah, go out and get that bookYep.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Behind the Bench Looks like this Great book.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Thank you so much for coming on Journey with Jake.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Thank you so much for coming on Journey with Jake.
Thank you, thanks for having methis was great.
Speaker 1 (53:24):
A huge thank you to Lisa Burgess for sharing her
heart and her story with ustoday.
If you'd like to dive deeper,be sure to grab a copy of her
book atBehindTheBenchBookstorecom, or
you can look up Lisa Burgess onAmazon and get the book.
Fantastic book, it's beenawesome to read, so check it out
.
Thank you so much, Lisa, forjoining me today.
I really appreciate it.
(53:45):
And to you, my listeners, Ican't thank you enough for
tuning in each week.
Your support means the world tome.
If you've been inspired byLisa's journey, I'd love for you
to share journey with Jake,with a friend or family member
who could use a little adventureand encouragement in their life
.
Be sure to join me next week asI sit down with John Leonard.
We'll talk about his love forIreland, the sport of rugby and
(54:11):
his unique fiction book seriesthat weaves in the Bible.
It's going to be another greatjourney you won't want to miss.
And just remember, it's notalways about the destination as
it is about the journey.
Take care everybody.
Thank you.
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