#191 - What if your brain could learn to love better? We sat down with Dr. David Helfand—a therapist with a background in neuroscience—to unpack how neuroplasticity, meditation, and focused couples work can turn recurring fights into lasting repair. From breathwork that calms a spiraling argument to thought logs that retrain pessimism, David shows how small, repeatable practices change both your nervous system and your connection.
We dig into why so many “individual” problems live inside relationship dynamics: insomnia worsened by conflict, anxiety sparked by a partner’s withdrawal, intimacy dulled by routine. David explains his private couples retreats—three hours of intensive work per day over two to four days—built around four pillars: communication, regulation, prioritization, and intimacy. You’ll hear the picnic story that derailed a weekend and what actually sat beneath it, plus a powerful moment of trauma healing that helped a spouse finally understand where the anger was coming from.
If novelty bonded you at the start, lack of adventure can quietly pull you apart. We talk practical ways to bring it back: surprise reservations, trade-off date planning, tech-free walks, and playful intimacy that treats the bedroom as exploration, not performance. David also offers clear boundaries on who should attend a retreat and why consent and safety matter. Most of all, you’ll leave with a hopeful message: incompatibility is often just a lack of skill, and skills can be learned.
If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who could use a nudge toward connection, follow the show, and leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify. Your support is greatly appreciated.
To learn more about couples retreats and Dr. David Helfand please visit www.marriagequest.org.
Want to be a guest on Journey with Jake? Send me a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/journeywithjake
Visit LandPirate.com to get your gear that has you, the adventurer, in mind. Use the code "Journey with Jake" to get an additional 15% off at check out.
Visit geneticinsights.co and use the code "DISCOVER25" to enjoy a sweet 25% off your first purchase.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.