Lessons From Loss, Hope, And Connection with Stephen Seidel

#192 - Some moments feel like they’re nudging us forward. Stephen Seidel’s life is full of those nudges: a favorite Eagles player on the flight to a funeral, a foggy window shaped like an eagle on the day of a tribute, a childhood hero literally saving him from choking. We unpack how he alchemized those signs, along with profound loss, into a mission centered on connection, courage, and story.

Stephen grew up a sports-obsessed kid in Philly, short but scrappy, learning early how shared rituals create belonging. After losing his stepdad and later his father, and while caring for his mother during the pandemic from a laundry-room office, he faced relentless pressure as a dad, husband, and founder. His response was to build Gents Journey, a men’s community where entrepreneurs and creatives meet weekly, ask bracing questions, and practice vulnerability. From that work came the Journey Deck, a toolkit that helps men open up with their partners, kids, and peers.

We dig into Steven’s G.R.E.A.T. framework—Grateful, Reflective, Empathetic, Accountable, Transformational—and how simple perspective shifts turn setbacks into momentum. He explains why “connection is your currency,” how the hero’s journey gives structure to personal change, and why storytelling is the fastest way to build trust in life, leadership, and brand. We also talk adventure as play and presence, including his “Survivor in a Day” experience that surfaced fear, grit, and unexpected joy.

You’ll leave with practical ways to reconnect to your purpose, rebuild with the right people, and reclaim your voice. If you’ve felt stuck, isolated, or unsure how to start, this conversation offers tools, language, and hope. Listen, share your biggest takeaway, and if it resonates, subscribe and leave a review so more people can find the show.

To learn more about Stephen and his mission check out his website www.stephenseidel.com and also gentsjourney.co.

To see clips from past, present, and future shows give me a follow on Instagram @journeywithjakepodcast.

Want to be a guest on Journey with Jake? Send me a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/journeywithjake 

Visit LandPirate.com to get your gear that has you, the adventurer, in mind.  Use the code "Journey with Jake" to get an additional 15% off at check out.

Visit geneticinsights.co and use the code "DISCOVER25" to enjoy a sweet 25% off your first purchase.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
From childhood lessons to life-changing loss,

(00:02):
Steven Seidel has learned thatevery chapter has something to
teach us.
In this conversation, we diveinto the importance of
connection, storytelling, andembracing life's adventures with
an open heart.
Welcome to Journey with Jake.
This is a podcast aboutadventure and how through our
adventures we can overcome thechallenges of life that come our
way.
While I expect you will learnsome things about different

(00:23):
adventures, this show willentertain you.
Each episode will feature adifferent guest or guest as they
share experiences and storiesfrom the different adventures
they have been on.
Not only will you beentertained, but you'll also
hear the failures and trialseach guest faces and what they
have done or are doing toovercome the hardships that come
their way.

(00:43):
My goal is to take each of us ona journey through the
experiences of my guests withthe hope that you'll be
entertained and inspired toovercome your day-to-day
challenges.
After all, it's not all aboutthe destination, as it is about
the journey.

(01:23):
And if you haven't already,please subscribe and leave a
rating or review.
It really helps others discoverthe show.
A huge thank you to the PodMatchPodcast Network for helping
connect incredible guests likeSteven to podcasts like this
one.
And if you enjoyed today'sepisode, go back and listen to
episode 50 with Mario Minert.
We talk about his incredibleexperience competing in the

(01:44):
Ultraman Florida, the physicaland mental battles that come
with it, and the deeper why thatkeeps him pushing forward.
All right, let's jump into myconversation with Steven Seidel.
All right, I'm excited today.
I've got Steven Seidel joiningme.
Steven, welcome to Journey withJake.

SPEAKER_00 (01:59):
Thank you so much for having me on, Jake.
Appreciate the opportunity.
It's an honor to be here.

SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
Absolutely.
I'm excited to kind of hear yourjourney, your story, who you
are.
I like what you're doing.
I know you're a you've spokenTEDx, you've done that.

SPEAKER_00 (02:12):
Yeah, of course.
The goal is we've got to inspirethe next generations to be the
best version of themselves.
Because I'm I'm getting I'm I'mI'm on the second, you know, I'm
on the second act, or maybe thethird act, so I've got to keep
it moving.

SPEAKER_01 (02:23):
Oh, I'm definitely heading in that direction.
Back nine, if you will.
The back nine, right, exactly.
Before we jump into kind of yourstory, I want just the
background where you're from,where you grew up.

SPEAKER_00 (02:33):
Yeah, thanks so much for asking.
So I was born in Utica, New Yorkwhen I was one.
So that's upstate New York.
My parents, uh my father workedfor the same company his whole
life.
It was initially called Univac,then it became Sperry, then it
became Unisys, and they wereheadquartered there.
When I was one, we moved uh justoutside of Philadelphia.
So I say Philly, and everybody'slike, Did you really grow up in

(02:54):
Philly?
I'm like, okay, it was thesuburbs, but it was the suburbs
of Philly.
Um my parents divorced, so mydad was in Norristown, and my
mom was in Doyle's town.
And so it was a greatupbringing.
I had a really wonderfulcul-de-sac.
I love the cul-de-sac life.
Right now, I live on a streetwhere the cars go zipping by,
and I want to get a cul-de-sacto be safe for those kids.
I have two kids, um, five andeleven.

(03:16):
But yeah, I grew up outside ofPhiladelphia.
You know, I was always I I don'twant to say slow.
I was very accomplished, but Iwas slow to grow.
I was five foot three when Igraduated high school.
So I was I was really talentedat sports and athletics and
academics, but I was always theshortest kid.
That weighed a lot on me as achild.
Like looking back, I think itwas really cool for me to be

(03:36):
able to navigate that's thosespaces.
You know, not growing until Ireached college.
I grew up, I think, eightinches.
But as a child, I grew up, Iloved sports, I loved
television, I loved shows, Iloved watching Pee Wee's
Playhouse.
I really enjoyed uh what isPunky Brewster.
And I ended up I ended upworking with both of those
individuals later on in life.

(03:57):
I worked with Soleiman Fry, Iworked with uh Paul Rubens, and
so it's fun to see a lot ofthese things in my childhood to
come full circle and end upworking with some of these
people.

SPEAKER_01 (04:06):
You've got to be close to my age then, because
you know, I know Pee-wee andPunky Brewing.

SPEAKER_00 (04:11):
Yeah, I'm pushing 50, brother.
I'm 48.

SPEAKER_01 (04:14):
Me too.
I'm 48, right on the nose.
There we go.

SPEAKER_00 (04:17):
There you go.
I love it.
So yeah, it was fun, you know,growing up with cartoons.
It's interesting because back inthe day, I used to tell people I
wanted to be like OJ.
I would sit in my room, I reallyloved announcing.
I love radios, broadcasting,athletes, all these different
types of entertainment.
Also love sports.
It was like, who's the guy doingall three of these?
OJ.
He's announcing, he's playingsports, he's acting a naked gun,

(04:40):
and then he went and killedsomebody.
So then I had to change, I hadto change my metaphor to Michael
Strahan.
So or some of these other, youknow, uh entrepreneurial.
And Michael Strahan even doesgame shows.
And I used I used to love gameshows, still do.
Every night we would sit downand we would watch Jeopardy and
and Family Feud at the dinnertable, and I would always say,
when Family Feud came on, Iwould always say, Kangaroo,

(05:01):
kangaroo, kangaroo, becausekangaroo, I was obsessed with
kangaroos.
Still am never been toAustralia.
But one time on the finalanswer, it came kangaroo, and my
whole family went wild.
You did it, finally.
Did it, you finally got thatright answer, Stevie.
They used to call me Stevie, andthen uh I couldn't say that, so
then they started calling me TT.
But nobody, uh and it's funny,like my old family members, like

(05:23):
my step, my stepbrother livedwith us for a while, and you
know, I my my father and mymother divorced.
And so that essentially put meon my journey of people
pleasing.
I'm I'm a recovering peoplepleaser because I was caught in
the middle.
My mom's over here, my dad'sover here, and I always was
stuck in the middle, and I feltthis need to try and keep them
together or keep some sense ofbalance, whether it was

(05:45):
financial, emotional.
And so that really put me on thepath of where I'm at, you know,
as a connector.
But it it took a little bit ofuh rewiring, if you will, to set
some boundaries and not putmyself in the middle of
everything, but I do feel likeit all happened for a reason,
and then my dream became to be agreat dad because my dad was
always traveling.
He worked for Unisys, he was inMinnesota, he was in Atlanta, he

(06:07):
would go to all the Braves gamesand he would come back with the
Tomahawk chops.
And it was funny because TNT,Ted, Ted started TNT and CNN,
and that was one of the fewstations where you could always
find sports.
Like this is right around theearly time of ESPN, and so I
love the Phillies growing up inPhil Philadelphia.
I'm a huge Philly sports fan.
I actually just got a tattooabout a month ago to honor my uh

(06:31):
my late father and my latestepfather.
I got the Eagles tattoo on myarm there.
Oh wow, there you go.
So yeah, I grew up watchingthat, but then we would watch
the Braves because it was on TNTand you could always find the
Braves.
And so I grew up loving theBraves, and it turns out there
was a second baseman on theteam, his name was Mark Lempke.
I don't know if you rememberthat name at all, but Mark
Lempke, he was from Utica, NewYork.

(06:53):
And so my grandmother knew hisgrandmother, and we, you know,
we would always cheer for MarkLempke, and then one time he
ended up ended up crushing it.
I think in one of the WorldSeries, he got like a you know
game-winning RBI or somethinglike that.
But it was all about sports, itwas all about movies and
entertainment, and that kind ofinstilled the vibe of me of
connection because when you'rewatching sports, when you're

(07:13):
listening to music, or you'rewatching movies, you know,
you're bringing people together.

SPEAKER_01 (07:17):
It's an interesting way to look at it, and it really
a lot of life is aboutconnection.
How old were you when yourparents were divorced, got
divorced?

SPEAKER_00 (07:25):
So my parents divorced when I was one.
I never knew my mom and dadtogether.
And I grew up with my father whowas in Norristown, and so he was
always traveling, and I it wasthat's what really created that
dream in me to be a wonderfulfather, and now I'm a dad to two
wonderful girls.
But also, it's my mission to bea champion and a pioneer and you

(07:45):
know a revolutionary leader forthe vulnerable children within
us and then future generations.
But I grew up with my stepfatheras well, and that's how I
started watching the Eagles.
Every Sunday we would sit downand watch the Philadelphia
Eagles.
He would drink a diape and wewould eat Fritos.
So every time I watched theEagles play, I'd get a Dia Pepsi
and some Fritos.
The craziest story is so lateron in the year 2000, my sister

(08:10):
ended up getting married, and itwas, I think, what was 9-11 in
2000?
Or was it 2001?

SPEAKER_01 (08:14):
2001.
2001 was 911.

SPEAKER_00 (08:16):
2001.
Okay, so it was 2001 when mysister, I graduated to college
in 2000.
2001, she was getting married,and it was 11 days after 9-11,
and we didn't know if she wasgonna have the wedding or not.
I mean, uh, we've gone throughso many major events of 9-11,
you look at the pandemic, but Isaid, I sorry, church, I say
church when I crush all my kids,but I said, I'm gonna do it.

(08:38):
And so I flew back to thewedding, and my mom's like, Tom,
he was my stepdad.
She said, Tom is sick.
So I'm driving out, I'm like,what do you mean he's sick?
And she says, he has cancer.
And I didn't I didn't have toomany encounters with cancer.
Obviously, I was aware of it,but I was too busy going to
college and doing my thing, andit's not as prevalent as it is
now.
And then six months later, hedied.
I was working at a companycalled Motorola out of college.

(09:00):
I I was really good at scienceand mathematics, so my parents
pushed me towards Penn State.
Um, my sister went to PennState.
I went to science andmathematics, but I had this love
of entertainment.
So I was at Motorola at thetime.
I could come back to it later,but I ended up getting involved
in entertainment later on.
But I had a dream that my momcalled me to tell me my stepdad

(09:20):
died, and it happened.
Exactly how I envisioned it.
And it was like Tom is sick, hedied, he passed away, and she's
crying.
So I said, Alright, I flew back,and on the airplane back, my
favorite player watching thePhiladelphia Eagles was Fred
Barnett.
Do you ever know Fred Barnett atall?

SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 (09:38):
He was number 86.
If you remember, uh RandallCunningham, he had a really
there was one great play wherehe avoided a sack, threw the
ball down the field.
It was like a 90-yard or 94-yardplay for the Eagles.
It's one of their biggest, likemost monumental plays in Eagles
history.
But anyway, he's my favoriteplayer.
I'm flying back to mystepfather's funeral.
And who's on the last row of theplane?
Fred Barnett.
On the way to his funeral.

(09:58):
And it was just that was onemoment.
I've had so many of theseserendipitous moments.
I talked a lot about it in myTEDx talk.
But if we really just take timeand reflect and realize that the
path that we're on, it'sunfolding as it as well as it
should the journey, like youspeak towards.
We might have an idea of wherewe're supposed to go, but you
know, they say, you know, Godlaughs when we have plans and

(10:21):
things happen.
But then these little momentsand these reminders are just
there to reiterate that, youknow, it's okay, just keep
moving forward, use this as anopportunity to grow.
And that's so he was in the backof the plane.
Flash forward to 2018.
My dad was sick for about fiveyears, and he had fallen and
fell asleep, and he had lostsome blood flow to his leg.
He had to have his legamputated.

(10:42):
And I was living in California,and my mom called me and said,
Look, you should probably gocheck out your dad.
I don't know how this is gonnafare.
So I flew from California toPennsylvania where my dad was
at.
He had just had his legamputated.
I have two half-brothers,they're much younger than me.
So they were like 18 or 19.
I went and met with them and Isaid, Look, dad, it's gonna be

(11:02):
all right.
We're gonna take care of Skylarin Dakota, it's gonna be okay.
And then he died the nextmorning.
And it just blew my mind thatthese people can be taken from
you so so quickly.
But the reason I bring thatstory up is a friend of mine
that I had met previously at astartup works for the Eagles,
and she knew I was an Eaglessuper fan because of my

(11:23):
stepfather and watching with mydad.
And she said, Look, we're gonnaroll out the red carpet for your
dad.
We're gonna do all the thingsthat we can.
She literally sent a video fromMeryl Reese.
If you know anything aboutannouncers, he's one of the most
infamous announcers for the NFLfilms.
Meryl Reese sent him a video andsaid, Hey, I hope you feel
better.
And this is right when theEagles drafted Jalen Hurts.
And my dad wrote a video backand said, uh, FaceTime video

(11:44):
said, pick a good one.
They ended up drafting JalenHurts, but they were gonna roll
out the green carpet for my dadand he didn't make it.
The day we were getting ready togo down to Lincoln Financial to
roll out the green carpet andcelebrate my dad.
Somebody had taken a shower andthe windows were all foggy.
And then if you look in thewindows, there was a little
eagle that just like that looksexactly like the one on my

(12:05):
forearm.
And so again, it's anotherreminder of these moments in
life, the journey that we're on.
Things happen, we're growing,we're using it as opportunity,
the resilience, or failing forit.
And so that's where I ultimatelygot this tattoo with them and
their names on it.
But to go back to where I wasraised, I was right raised in
Philly.
I'm an underdog, I love Phillysports, and uh, you're only as

(12:28):
good as your word.

SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
Your story includes a lot about you know turning
pain into purpose.
And I know you have you spent alot of time caring for your mom.
And I know you talk about thisin your in your TEDx talk quite
a bit, but how did thatexperience transform the way you
view connection?

SPEAKER_00 (12:45):
Thank you for asking me that, by the way.
I think as we grow older, you're48, I'm 48, you know, we start
to lose people that are close inour lives, and we realize that
everything that we have is anopportunity.
Every day live is a goldenopportunity.
There's uh you could go back toif I could give you a million
dollars and you could go back tothe day before my mom passed

(13:07):
away, would you do that?
Yes.
So why wouldn't you live everyday like it's your last or like
it's worth a million dollars?
But you know, she ended upgetting I was I was doing a
coaching call with Tony Robbins,and she called me and said,
look, they found something inme.
They found something in her limpnode.
And so I had just relocated mybusiness.
She ended up moving into ourspare bedroom.

(13:27):
It was right during thepandemic, man.
And you know the pandemic, weall know the pandemic.
I'm not gonna beat a dead horse,but it was the total epitome of
disconnection.
And like we were disconnectedfrom our families, we were
disconnected from our jobs, itwas just so challenging.
And so I put my wife and kids onan airplane.
We were living in LA.
I have a doomsday preppingfriend who was like, You better
get out of there, bro.
You better get out of there.

(13:48):
He's like, I know you're gonnathink you were thinking of
moving.
So we left, at which point I'min a new city, no friends, all
my my company's virtual, so Ihave no colleagues.
I have a one-month-old baby.
We're living in a pandemic.
My mom has cancer, she's movingin with me, and now the extra
spare bedroom that I was workingout of is now her room.
So I had to run my business outof my laundry room.

(14:10):
And dude, it was the mostchallenging time ever because
there were so many peoplerelying on me.
My children, my wife, my mom, mybusiness, my clients.
And it was an excruciatingamount of pressure.
And I knew that there was no wayout but up, and I had to take
where I was at, turn that messinto my message.
And so I started a men's groupwhere I just needed a space.

(14:33):
And there's podcasts and thingswhere you can share your story,
but I feel like you're not justgonna throw it out there.
You needed a safe community offriends or individuals or people
that you could share with.
So I created a men's group.
It's called Jets Journey, and Iknew if I found the right
people, it would work.
And so I marinated and said,Look, who are my growth friends?
Who are the people that aregonna help me grow?

(14:54):
Because what we go through, wegrow through.
And so I I landed on myentrepreneurial friends,
flexible schedules, they knowhow to take risks.
I wanted them to be a dadbecause I was a dad, because
they're probably having the sameproblems.
Ideally, they're married or beenthrough relationships, and so I
found you know, five friendslike that, and we started just
meeting every Monday and sharingour stories.

(15:16):
And for me, it was losing mymom.
Another guy lost his job, hewent bankrupt.
Another guy, you know, lost ahuge client from a litigation
where there was some IPinvolved, another guy lost his
child at a custody battle.
So we were all dealing withdifferent types of loss.
For me, it was apparent thenthat I had to work through
losing my mom.
It was she was gonna pass away,and she did pass away, and there

(15:39):
was a lot of serendipitousmoments to that as well.
Driving away from the momentthat I was I was the last person
to see my mom and my dad alive.
And sometimes I think aboutthat, and and it's a blessing in
hindsight, I believe, becausethey were spending those last
moments.
But jumping in the car, firstsong that I hear is Stairway to
Heaven.
My mom loved classical rock, anddude, it was the most wild

(16:03):
experience because I spent thelast three hours watching my mom
struggle to breathe, and and youknow, FaceTime, I FaceTime every
single member of my familybecause I wanted them to be able
to say their goodbye.
My sister was there and it wasshe was crying, like, just go to
the light, you can do thesethings.
And then finally she left one ofthe final songs that we played.

(16:25):
She used to love uh SomewhereOver the Rainbow.
She I saw her look at me.
I didn't, you know, she wasn'treally responding much, but I
saw her eye look at me, andsomewhere the rainbow came on,
and like a single tear just camedown her face, and it was that
was a moment where it wasobviously to me, she went to the

(16:47):
next level or wherever you go inlife.
But jumping in the car, thefirst song after that, I turned
on the radio, it was stairway toheaven.
They talk about buying herstair, and she's buying the
stairway to heaven, and it wasjust um these are all just
teaching moments for me.
Everything in life, I startedtaking these meetings and
realizing that things happen inlife to teach us things.

(17:08):
And she had always talked to beto me about being a coach, being
a therapist.
You're so good, you workwonderful people, and I had been
doing my agency PR and media.
I think in passing, I had alwayswanted to do a TEDx talk.
I think she gave me that gift,and it it took me 20 years, just
like when I talked a lot aboutPee-Wee Harmon and uh Punky
Brewster, uh Soleiman Fry.

(17:29):
I went to LA and about 20 yearsafter I watched their TV shows,
I ran into them and I startedworking with them.
So all these major moments in mylife I've noticed have taken
taken around 20 years to takeshape, and so just being
patient, running the course,going on the journey, taking
what you're given, and figuringout how can I use this to my

(17:49):
advantage.
And we don't have to go to work,we get to go to work.
I struggled a lot.
I was I was trying to go forhappiness, and when it working
with my friends and some othergroups, they're like, no, you
need to come from happiness.
And when we come from happinessand we accept happiness and we
make that choice in our life,that's when all the wonderful
things can come around and andpresent themselves.

SPEAKER_01 (18:11):
I was just loving what you're saying there.
It makes me think, okay, arethose little lessons, those
things that are out there, howcome it's so hard for people to
find them or see them if they'reall around us like that?

SPEAKER_00 (18:22):
Yeah, that's a great question.
I think we talk a lot, and whenI coach with uh like C-suite and
executives and things, there'sjust store, there's it to me at
the end of the day, it's allabout stories.
And that's where growing up as aconnection piece, it's about
connection.
You can talk about influence,you can talk about marketing,
you can talk about sales,whatever you do.
At the end of the day, it'sabout connection.
If you don't connect withpeople, then they're not gonna

(18:44):
trust you.
And if they don't trust you,then they're not gonna be
willing to spend their time orspend their money or the clicks
or however you want to do that.
But in order for them to do so,the connective tissue there is
story.
And because story gets to theheart of emotion, and that
allows people to be empathetic,that allows people to experience
you.
At the end of the day, MichaelCain used to say, I don't want
to hold up a screen and say,look at me while I'm acting.

(19:06):
I want to hold up a mirror andsay, look at you.
But the only real way to dothat, I think, is by leveraging
your story.
And so there's the movie of methat one of my mentors, Pat
Croce, says, We all have thismovie of me or the stories that
we tell ourselves.
Woe is me, I'm a victim.
So, as men or as an individual,what we talk a lot about in
Gen's Journey, my group, is youknow, you can be the gentleman

(19:29):
who is has is given hard timesand just says, Okay, I'm given
hard times.
You can be the man that says,you know, that's given hard
times, and you could say it'sbecause of that person.
You point at one person, threepoint back at you.
You can be given a hard time andsay, Okay, what can I do with
this?
And how am I going to overcomethat?
And so I think part of that isthe story that we tell ourselves
and the story that has beeningrained in our head, like I

(19:51):
talked about being a peoplepleaser at a young age.
There's nature versus nurture.
There's some of the DNA that mayhave, you know, been passed on
from a hereditary perspective,but how can we reframe that
story so we eliminate thoselimiting beliefs and we say,
look, achieving my dream ispossible.
I don't know how it's possible,but just taking the first step
is going to get me closer tothat.

(20:12):
And I think it's start it workswith having that awareness.
And one of the things that wetalk a lot about is about being
great.
And so these moments arehappening around us, but if
you're great, then you willrecognize them.
And great is an acronym.
I'm a huge fan of acronyms.
So being great is beinggrateful.
And one of the ways that you canbe grateful is being aware, you
can have a journal.

(20:33):
The second part of great isreflective, it's thinking about
your day.
Okay, how did that go?
How can I respond differently?
We do another thing called thesacred shift.
Instead of responding orreacting right away, and all
that ingrained behavior justcomes out and you yell or you
flip out, take a beat andreflect on that.
And then the E in great standsfor empathetic.

(20:54):
Everybody has something elsegoing on in our lives.
You know, they might have losttheir dad, they might have lost
their dog, they may have beendiagnosed with cancer, who
knows?
We all have baggets, and themore empathetic that we can be,
and the more that we can connectheart to heart, as opposed to
getting in our head, the betterthat we'll be, and the more
we'll recognize some of thesemoments.
And then the A stands foraccountable.
And so if we say we're going todo something, do it.

(21:17):
And then the T istransformational.
And to me, that's where you cantransform.
And there's a couple of likesimple shifts that we talked
about.
You know, you don't have to goto work, you get to go to work.
Just by living in America, ifyou're listening to this in
America, you won the lottery,man.
Like you have the ability,you're not in a third world
country or somewhere else wherethere's tyranny or communists,

(21:38):
or I know there's some issueswith the country, obviously.
But for somebody who's listeningto this, to me, it's take notice
of some of these things that arehappening.
And a lot of it is theserendipity.
When you think it's acoincidence, it's really not a
coincidence.
And those are the moments whereif you just take a step back,
write it down in your journal,and figure out how I can use

(22:00):
this to become better, how is itworking for me?
Why is it happening for me, notto me?
Just simple shifts like thatwhere we can be aware of these
things that are happening.

SPEAKER_01 (22:09):
And it's, you know, as a as a man and me and you
are, you know, we're the sameage, 48 years old.
You know, growing up, it was,you know, men didn't cry and men
didn't show their feelings, andyou, you know, you kind of you
be tough and that sort of thing.
And it wasn't, you know, thepandemic for me was that moment
where I mean I broke down.
I had a moment where I brokedown because I lost my job.
Uh, you know, I'm in the tradeshow live events industry and

(22:30):
it's gone overnight, you know,like no more.
So when you get those five ofyou guys together and you're
telling these things, how is it,how do you make it like a safe
place for that?
Because it's it's hard to kindof overcome that, what we've
grown up with.

SPEAKER_00 (22:45):
That's a that's a great question.
I will say I was very selectivein the process because I knew
these individuals were going toI I I just knew them, and that's
why I hand selected them andbrought them together.
And I said, look, if you guyswant to bring in friends, you
can.
One gentleman brought somebodyin, he came in for like a
meeting and then they tipped.
But with that, I I knew thatI've worked with these, they had
a great heart.

(23:05):
I'd had various projects whereone of them was a fraternity
member of mine, he was thepresident, and he he lost his
dad in 9-11.
His dad was holding the door forhis we spoke about 9-11.
His dad was last scene holdingthe door for his colleagues, and
they never found him.
And so he created a can hecreated it was called uh Hold
the Door Foundation, and hecreated this foundation so that

(23:27):
people could learn from thisresilience.
And for somebody like that, Iknew he had gone through some
things and had he has a PhD,he's extremely smart, he's a
psychologist, so he was in thegroup.
Another buddy of mine used tocreate content.
Uh, I was in I talk about beingan engineer in mathematics, then
I went the other way, you know,creating media and shows.
We had sold a show, and and hehad the biggest kahunes I've

(23:50):
ever seen.
He would do the most amazingthings, but his heart was huge.
And then another gentleman, hehe runs a podcast called The
Meaningful Show, and so he wasall about self-help.
And he knew every pioneer in theuh self-help or nonfiction
space.
He had this thing calledflashbooks, where he takes
self-help books, distills themdown into 10 minutes or 10-page
PDFs.

(24:10):
So if you want somebody who hasa resource of all the things
that you can do to overcome it,so I knew with those gentlemen
in the group, another gentlemanwas uh his name was Chris, he
had started a company calledSeedles, and it was all about
spreading wildflowers and makingsure that we could help overcome
the bees.
And as uh he's builtmulti-million dollar companies,
but the safe space to share, itall came down to just simply

(24:32):
asking the questions andbuilding that bond.
And it doesn't happen overnight,but you have to be courageous
enough to share and and have thegrit.
So for me, I say uh grit again,gratitude is always a part of
it, resilience, integrity, andtrust.
We started asking questions, andI was running the meetings, but
then gentlemen suggested, hey,can we switch it a little bit?

(24:53):
Can other people run themeetings?
So we would start it with aquestion.
So one of the questions was,What does masculinity mean to
you?
And to your point, masculinitynow is ten times different than
it was back in the day.
And we talked about our dads.
You know, my dad was a firstsergeant.
He's I got my ears pierced.
He's like, I'm gonna rip thosethings out.
Of course he never did.
That was all up front.
His heart was huge.

(25:14):
He was a very kind man, but youknow, he had the the only time I
think I saw him cry was when hismom died.
But that's not how it isnowadays.
We want to be there, we want tobe present, we want to love our
children, we want to show themthat we created the seven
pillars of manhood.
So there's family, friends,faith, finances, fitness, fun.
There's one more that I'mmissing, but we have those

(25:34):
pillars that we would buildaround.
And so we would ask thesequestions.
So we created this journey deckhere.
We talk a lot about the journey.
So this is our journey deck.
We we tried to create anothermeeting with other gentlemen,
and it it was a little bitchallenging because we weren't
able to really build thatcamaraderie right out of the
gate.
So we felt as if if we createdthis journey deck and took the

(25:56):
most pertinent questions fromour meetings, it could help
other men open up with theirloved ones, with their wives,
with their children, and withwith us in advance in an
icebreaker mentality, with theexpectation that then you'll
realize that this can this toocould be a safe space.
So I would love to ask you oneof these questions.
Hey, all right, yeah, let's dothis.

(26:18):
Tell me when it stopped.

SPEAKER_01 (26:19):
All right.

SPEAKER_00 (26:20):
Stop.
Okay.
So this one is this is a this isa lighter one.
What does your perfect weekendlook like?

SPEAKER_01 (26:27):
The perfect weekend.
All right, and this is my timeto answer that, right?
This is what the point of thisis.
I love it.

SPEAKER_00 (26:32):
100%.
And so when we answer these, itall goes back to connection.
You open up.
We're not talking about yourcell phone or what the weather's
like.
We're sharing our experience.
And so, yeah, tell us what yourperfect weekend looks like.

SPEAKER_01 (27:15):
The perfect weekend is an early out at work.
I'm talking early afternoon, oneor two, and it's maybe getting a
little nap in before theevening.
And then that evening, Fridayevening, going out to eat
somewhere with my wife, and thenshe and I going and doing
something together.
We like to hike on a trail thatkind of up in the base of the
mountains.
I'm in Utah, so that's gotmountains around here.

(27:36):
Nice.
So that's just Friday, but thenSaturday, maybe sleeping in a
bit.
I like to get up and exercise inthe morning, so I'll get up very
you know before she does.
But I'll get up and and exercisea little bit.
Maybe I'll work on the podcast alittle bit just to kind of
because I love doing that.
I love just this connection Ihave.
Do that, and then hopefully, myI'll see my sons.

(27:57):
I got two older sons who areboth married and have little
girls, so I got a couplegranddaughters.

SPEAKER_00 (28:02):
So wow, you're a grandfather.
Look at you.

SPEAKER_01 (28:04):
I am a grand, yeah.
You're right behind me.
It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 (28:07):
My girls are five and eleven, they're not gonna
be.

SPEAKER_01 (28:09):
You got a few years, but yeah.
So hopefully, yeah, I couldspend time with them.
And I I have two other kids whoare I have a daughter who's 15.
She's usually performing in adance of some sort.
I'd love to watch her dance.
So for me, it's just it's doingthe things with those I love,
those that I'm close to.
That would be the ideal weekendfor me, would be doing that.

SPEAKER_00 (28:29):
That's awesome, man.
I'm gonna do a follow-upquestion.
I have a phone.
So that's what it is.
We open up, and so I took thesecards to the Fatherhood
Initiative locally in Lexington,and they're people coming out of
prison penitentiaries, and Ifacilitated a whole meeting.
I get goosebumps every time Italk about it because that's the
work.
Like I can go and help companiesmarket, which you know, work
with Coca-Cola, Amazon, allthat.
Like, we can put your stuff onbillboards and get you the

(28:51):
highest status, but to see thesegentlemen show the courage.
One of these guys was asked, Whodo you have to forgive?
That one of the questions waswho do you have to forgive?
And he said, I have to forgivemyself.
He's like, you know, in orderfor me to move past all of this,
I need to forgive myself, andthen I can have a closer
relationship with my childrenwho I'm trying to rebuild.
And to he's tatted from head totoe, crying in and out of jail.

(29:13):
He had a really raspy voice fromBoston, and I was like, Man,
this is all that work and allthese meetings that we have.
We put down a card, he'sanswering the question in the
card, and he's trulytransforming his life just by
answering that.
And yours was great too.
The perfect weekend.
What I would love to know is asa grandfather, what would you
tell your grandkids if you couldleave them a message?

(29:34):
Let's say, God forbid you're nothere tomorrow and you wanted to
leave them a message, what wouldyou tell them?

SPEAKER_01 (29:38):
I think I would tell them to believe in themselves,
to have faith in themselves,that they can do anything they
want.
I think that's somethingpersonally I've struggled with
is can I do things?
Can I make things happen?
And I want them to know thatthey can and that they are
important and that they can makethings happen.

SPEAKER_00 (29:56):
I love that.
Yeah, and so that's essentiallywhat we do in our group is we
talk about you know, maritalissues, finance, whatever.
To go back to my mom, she wasthe catalyst for me starting
this group.
And so you think, oh, I wishthis thing would have never
happened.
But uh, you know, at the end ofthe day, it did happen, and how
can I leverage it to continue togrow and impact more people?
And so that's our mission at mycompany is to do good, get back,

(30:18):
make an impact.
But as a result of my mompassing, you know, I spent two
years with her living in myhouse, would have never
experienced that.
Did a TEDx talk, I built thismen's group, I helped this guy
who was crying, you know, fromtatted.
From head to toe, and nowhelping, we have a group of
6,000 people on Substack.
There was something that washanging in her kitchen that I
talk a lot about.
It was a quote, I I can'tremember who says it, but I talk

(30:42):
a lot about it.
We talk a lot about it in ourgroup.
And the quote was to the world,you might be one person.
But to one person, you might bethe world.
And so anybody who's listeningthat's in a tough spot or feels
like my story doesn't matter,your story does matter.
And that's really what mymission is, is to help make
dreams a reality.
And the way that we do that isby truly just sharing our story.

(31:03):
And in my TEDx talk, I I talkabout you know being down and
out and creating a three-stepprocess.
We need to reconnect.
What are we reconnecting to?
Reconnect to yourself, yourpurpose.
Be the whole, you know, be theuh the hole that the Christ
breast flows through, like thatmusic that comes through the
flute.
But when you reconnect, then youcan rebuild.
And if you don't have thoseright people around you, then

(31:23):
find the right people around youso that they empower you to be
the best version.
And then lastly, you're gonnareclaim.
You're gonna reclaim yourpurpose, you're gonna reclaim
your story, and you're gonnareclaim that outcome.

SPEAKER_01 (31:33):
You have so many great sayings, so many, you
know, great and what thedifferent, you know, each each
letter means.
You have a lot of thesefantastic things that I'm I'm
glad I've this is being recordedbecause now I can you know tap
back into this again and againand again.
Yeah, no, this is this isawesome.
One thing I want to talk about,you you mentioned, you know, the
story.
We have a story to tell.

(31:53):
Storytelling then.
Why is storytelling soimportant?

SPEAKER_00 (31:56):
Storytelling is extremely important because we
are all on our own journey.
I mean, we're talking about thejourney with uh Jake.
We're all on our journey, right?
And who is the protagonist inour journey?
We are, right?
So, in order for us to be ableto make an impact, to find some
sense of purpose, like I talkedabout, connect to rebuild, to

(32:17):
reclaim, to find that purpose inour life.
In my company, we do PR, butit's purpose relations, and it
talk it starts with connection.
And to me, connection is yourcurrency.
And like I talked about before,stories are the tissue that
connects within the connection.
So I want for the listeners, youknow, connect to your calling,
connect to your purpose, connectto what you're here on this

(32:37):
earth to do.
It's different for each of us.
And it oftentimes people arelike, oh, I don't know, I don't
know what my purpose is.
That's fine.
What do you love to do?
What keeps you up at night?
Like, what do you do 15 hoursand then you don't even realize
that the time is gone?
Or what do you really dislike?
You know, maybe you don't likeanimals that are mistreated, and
then maybe PETA or you know,standing up for these animals

(32:58):
that aren't able to do so.
It could be any of those things,and it can change too, but
connecting to your calling andthen connecting to your
community, so the people aroundyou, like we talked about,
making sure that you'reconnected with your husband,
your wife, your family.
Too often we just go about ourday and we don't have that sense
of connection.
And then lastly, we want toconnect to our company, the
company that we keep or thecompany that we work for.

(33:20):
Is there cultural alignmentthere?
Making sure these values andbeliefs are the same.
But the fastest way to connectto them is through story.
And I'll use Joseph Campbell asan example.
He wrote The Hero's Journey.
And so we all have that in ourlife.
We have the inciting incidentwhere we're in a tough moment
where we feel like we can't dosomething.

(33:40):
For me, I talked about my momgetting cancer.
And then if you pay attention toany movie or any story that
happens, there's always somebodythat partners with the hero,
whether or not it's a person, aplace that they go back to, or
an animal.
Usually it's a best friend or alove life, uh, a love interest.
I'm sorry.
That's the B story.

(34:00):
But so the hero's on their path.
They have somebody thatreinstils a sense of purpose, a
sense of hope, gets them torealize the story you've been
telling yourself that you're notgood enough, that you can't do
it is wrong because you can.
And then the hero goes on thejourney and they get to the
point where it's the end of ActTwo, where all is lost.
Again, any movie, you think, oh,they're not gonna be able to

(34:21):
make it.
Something else happens becauselife is cyclical, it goes up and
it goes down.
And then again, they starttelling themselves all of these
things.
At this point, the friendsometimes drifts away and it's
up to the hero to make the finaldecision and say, Yes, I can do
this.
And they bring us to thehomeland.
Without that story that we aretelling ourselves and the story
that we're telling others, it'sjust uh almost impossible to

(34:44):
connect because uh we need tosee ourselves in you as a
mirror.
And in order for us to do so,there has to be a story because
if I stand up here and talkabout you know statistics and
analytics and such and suchsaid, then people really can't
connect with that.
So I think without the story,it's next to impossible to
connect with these individualsand hopefully move forward.

SPEAKER_01 (35:05):
And it's amazing too, and I think this podcast
for me, Journey with Jake, hasreally made me realize that I
have a story to tell myself.
I I used to just sit and listento people's stories and think
everyone has a story to say, andthat's why I'm doing this
because I can hear people'sstories and live through them.
But then it made me realize thatI've got my own story, and I
appreciate that, and Iappreciate the things I've

(35:25):
learned from people like you,guests like you, have really
made me think, like, yeah, youknow, I've got my own story to
tell, and it's important to tellas well, which I love.
I want to ask you about againthat you mentioned the journey
deck cards and how you know theguy from prison, from Gent's
journey, any just maybe anexample, and obviously you don't
need a name or anything, butmaybe an example of someone

(35:46):
who's been in the group or justan example of how it's helped
somebody or just a story fromthat.

SPEAKER_00 (35:51):
Yeah.
So one of the gentlemen whojoined our group, uh, his name's
Matt, Matt McManus, a closefriend of mine.
Him and I created a show a whileback.
So to go back to story, we wereboth actors in LA, and he met a
gentleman who he connected with,connection as currency.
And this guy became somewhat ofa father figure for him.
And he said, Hey, you need tocome down.

(36:12):
They were opening up arestaurant.
He said, Look, you're gonna workhere at this restaurant.
You need to come down here rightnow because we need to have a
staff for this weight staff bynine o'clock at night, and you
need to put out a Craigslist ad.
And he was like, Oh, okay.
And so he put out a Craigslistad where they were looking for
weight staff.
And I was in LA at the time, Iwas, you know, an actor.
I basically found any job that Icould.

(36:32):
I did everything under the sun.
And so I saw this ad, I waslike, Oh, they needed weight
stuff.
I went down there and I met thisguy, Matt.
This is uh 2008, maybe, I don'tknow, 15, 20 years ago.
And I met him and we got totalking, and it turned out that
we both shared this, we both haddone the Disney's College
program.
So Disney goes around todifferent colleges and they hand

(36:53):
select students.
My sister did it before.
She told me about it.
She was like, Look, you need todo it.
They come to Penn State, youneed to do it.
I was like, Okay, great.
I get to go down to Disney,wonderful.
So this gentleman, Matt, washiring people, and he I talked
about the Disney's Collegeprogram, and he said, Look, I
did that.
And then it was that sharedexperience.
Again, going back to story andconnection.

(37:15):
And had I not mentioned that orput that on my resume, and then
we didn't, and then we startedtalking about where we worked,
and all and so right away we hada connection.
He ultimately hired me becausewe had a shared experience.
We had a story in common.
We ran that nightclub for awhile, then we found out we both
made content.
So we we made a show, we endedup selling a show for a while,
and then we became really closefriends.
But it all came back to thatshared experience where we

(37:37):
connected over a similar story.
And when you can connect andshare these stories that people
can see themselves in you or yousee themselves in them, that
really builds that rapport sothat you can move forward.
Flash forward later on, he'sstill in LA and I knew of him.
He was a close friend of mine.
He came into the group and hesaid, Look, I don't feel right
being in this group because allyou guys are entrepreneurs, but
I'm not.

(37:58):
And I said to him, Look, why areyou not an entrepreneur?
You've sold a TV show, nowyou're auditioning.
He's like, I'm just a creativetype, I'm an actor, and I'm just
sort of pursuing things that Ifeel as if maybe I shouldn't be
here because you know, you'rerunning a PR agency.
Dean's running multiplecompanies, he's doing the book
recaps.
My other friend Chris was, youknow, doing the Seagulls company

(38:18):
with the seatballs.
My friend Rob was there doingsome other things.
And so after all these meetings,he found the strength and the
perseverance, and he had a storyto tell, and he created a video
training series called TheCartoon, and how you could take
your own experiences and yourown stories and create your own
character, and how when youleave the room, your character

(38:40):
is ultimately what people sayabout you when you've left the
room.
And he has all these reallyamazing experiences that he came
up with.
Basically, designing your ownsneakers was one of them because
he's a big sneaker head.
But think about the sneaker thatyou've always wanted, and it's
symbolic, it's a metaphor fromthe life that you've always
wanted.
Think about the sneakers thatyou've always wanted, design
them, and then think about youknow how you would feel wearing

(39:02):
them.
And then he eventually says, NowI want you to go out and buy
them and then wear them.
And when you go into thesemeetings or when you go out on
the street, feel that sense ofcourage or feel that sense of
you know empowerment and how itfeels.
And so by him coming into ourmeeting, he learned from us and
he also experienced all of ourenergy.
We talked about overcomingcertain things, and he put

(39:24):
together this course, did reallywell, and now he's creating
amazing content for Gent'sjourney.
He just created one calledPacking for Purpose, very
similar, where you're recappingwho you are and all the things
that you can take on a trip.
And one of the exercises, thinkabout all things that you want
to take on a trip, you know, oris it going to be if you if you

(39:44):
had to go on a trip and packeverything in one bag, what
would you bring in that bag?
And some of these items and someof these accessories are clued
to your ultimate purpose.
But by working with us in GentsJourney, he rewrote the story in
his head that he wasn't anentrepreneur, he took risks, he
created the course, and now he'sbringing all that and all the
amazing content to the othergents in the Gents Journey

(40:05):
community.

SPEAKER_01 (40:06):
I've got a few more questions.
I'm gonna kind of ask a littlebit about adventure, but before
I do that, I did want to ask youbecause you kind of left a
little teaser, you know, in theemail that you sent me about Lu
Feringno and choking you orsomething like that.
I gotta hear that story.
So tell me that story.

SPEAKER_00 (40:20):
Sure.
So growing up, I was a bigsuperhero fan.
I had incredible Hulk underwear.
Remember Frugalum Hulkunderwear?
I had those too.
I had those.
Yeah, we all had those.
That was like that was a rite ofpassage.
Yeah.
It was just every a thousanddifferent types of underwear,
but I was a big Hulk fan.
And we went to see him, and Iwas, I don't even know, four or

(40:41):
five or something around that.
And we went to a mall becauseLou Ferrigno plays the Hulk.
He he wasn't the original one,he was the one who like turned
into the crazy guy at his painttrip.
So he was in the mall.
I used to love lifesavers.
So we were waiting in line, andI was sucking on a lifesaver,
and then I started choking onit, and I couldn't breathe.
And they like my mom was tryingto help me, and my my
grandmother, I grew up around alot of a lot, like my dad was

(41:04):
off in travel because I wasaround a lot of women, and they
couldn't figure out what to do,and then he shook me upside
down, and then the lifesavercame out.
So we essentially saved my lifefrom my lifesaver.
So he was literally a superherowho saved my life from a
lifesaver and my favoritesuperhero character.
And to go back to all theseindividual moments, it it's just

(41:24):
and then when my mom passedaway, my sister was looking
through all of the paperwork,and I was I'm working on putting
together my keynote and talkingabout some of these cool moments
that essentially just take shapeor visualize.
You know, sometimes it'sconscious, sometimes it's
subconscious, sometimes I set anintention and it happens.
But just like we talked aboutearlier, having this awareness

(41:46):
of some of these things thattake shape, knowing that we're
on the right path.
And I was working on my keynote,and the Lou Ferigno story is one
piece of that, and she found thepiece of paper from when they
took me to the doctor afterwardsto like check me to make sure
that I was okay and didn't haveany like scarring or anything.
But it was it was literallyright around the time that I was
writing my keynote, and so yeah,he saved my life.

SPEAKER_01 (42:08):
That's what a what a story.
That's fantastic.
I love that.
Now, so Journey with Jake, uh,you know, I say it's an
adventure podcast, and I have alot of crazy adventures, but
even just people's journeys, youknow, can be an adventure.
But for you, it's gonna be atwo-part question.
But the first question is foryou, what does adventure mean to
you?

SPEAKER_00 (42:25):
So I I say this a lot.
If it's fun, it gets done.
And so with everything that wedo, I want it to be a sense of
play.
And as we get older, societybeats us down, or you have
businesses, and we lose thesense of play.
And so, like, that's where Italk about we don't have to go
to work, we get to go to work.
But for me, it's finding a senseof play, and with that, losing
losing all sense of time.

(42:46):
And one of the things that I'veworked a lot on, I have a lot of
like neurospiciness with anxietyand sleep and all that is really
doing my best to stay in thepresent moment.
Because if we start worryingabout what happened in the past
or how we can change that, Imean, what good does that do?
Or like Michael J.
Fox says, when we worry aboutwhat's going to happen in the
future, our body fullyexperiences it.
And if it happens again, thenyou experience it again.

(43:06):
So cross that bridge when youcome to it.
But for me, adventure would befinding that sense of play,
finding that sense of presence,and finding that sense of peace.
I'm a big fan of the rule ofthree.
And when I moved to Kentuckyfrom LA, a lot of that started
to take shape because it's justvery peaceful, it was positive.

(43:27):
But I think if you're you'refinding that play, and usually,
like we talked about earlier,it'll be some of these things
that you love.
I tell all my clients, makelists of all the things that you
love, make lists of the shows,figure out why you like those
shows and deconstruct them.
But within them, when you crackthem open, is that sense of
adventure.
A close friend of mine, he usedto write on the neighborhood.

(43:48):
He's a writer out in LA.
He does this thing, it's calledSurvivor in a Day.
And my guilty pleasure right nowis Survivor, the TV show.
Because when I was younger backin the 2000s, I I worked at uh
Motorola.
Like I think I talked about youearlier when I flew back to my
uh stepfather's funeral.
I was working at Motorola.
I was an engineer, and I didn'thave very many friends, so I

(44:08):
would sit down and watchSurvivor, and that was my friend
every night.
I'd be like, tune into Survivor,Richard Hatch, all that stuff.
And and then I I went throughlife, and then I got to Kentucky
again, and it was a lot morequieter.
There weren't like nightlife andthings like that.
Then I started investing inSurvivor again, and I loved it
because there was that sense ofconnection, there was that sense
of play, there was that gameshow element, there's just the
cinematography on it, it'sbrilliant.

(44:29):
Jeff Propes is an is an amazinghost, and I like hosting and
talking, and just he's just somany positive things in that
show.
For me, I connected with that.
My friend does this thing calledSurvivor in a day, where he does
it in his backyard in Tarzana,just outside LA, and I just did
it like two weeks ago because Itimed it up with fall break and
I said, look, we're staying inan extra day and we're gonna do
it.
And for me, it was one of themost satisfying adventures in my

(44:53):
life because, like I talkedabout, it was fun.
I was playing, it was like asense of peace.
I conquered some fears toobecause of some issues with my
ears, and I was always worriedabout not being on the real
survivor because I can't gounderwater.
But I said, you know what, I'mgonna put it in my earplugs and
put on swim caps and just go forit.
And I was this close to winningit, dude.

(45:13):
I got to the final four people.
If I had won one of thechallenges, I would have been in
the journey and I hadeverybody's vote because I was a
likable dad and all that, andthen it went to the next
challenge where the ball comesdown and you have to catch the
golf ball and you add more.
And then I I dropped that one,so I ended up fourth.
But everybody that I spoke tosaid, look, you had my vote, and

(45:34):
I won an immunity that saved me.
I did another another guy playedhis immunity idol on me, and
then he got voted out.
That like I was right there, andit was the most enjoyable time
of my life, and that to me wasadventure.
That's fantastic.
I love that, and I loveSurvivor.
So hearing that story, justdoing all the channels, like the
all of the channels that you seeon the show, they were all on
it, man.

(45:54):
Check it out.
It's Survivor in a Day, it's onthe Survivor in a Day.

SPEAKER_01 (45:57):
That is cool.
You should submit.

SPEAKER_00 (45:58):
If you want to submit, I'll let my buddy's name
is Ryan Noggle.
He's a brilliant, brilliant man.
He's a writer.
He also wrote a writer, uh, amusical about Pete Rose.
Like, he's just anything hedoes, another one of those
people, like your product, thefive closest people around.
He's just a very brilliant man,and I knew that he was going to
do it well, and he did.

SPEAKER_01 (46:16):
Staying on that subject of adventure.
So if you had to describe yourlife right now as an adventure,
what chapter would you be in?

SPEAKER_00 (46:24):
So we talk a lot about that in our men's group.
How, you know, when we gothrough our life, it's uh you're
closing one chapter, you'reopening another chapter.
Or, you know, I mentioned I'mprobably in a second to third
act of a play.
In the chapter of my life, areyou looking for, you know, a
word or description?

SPEAKER_01 (46:40):
Or description's good.
Yeah.
Well, maybe description of whatyou think.

SPEAKER_00 (46:44):
So when I talked about my mom, I often refer to
it as the perfect storm becausethere was just so many pieces
that were happening.
It's my sister and I ended upbecoming estranged for a period
of time because of like talkingabout the house and a multitude
of things.
So there was just a lot ofdiscomfort, dis-ease, a lot of

(47:05):
things in my life that were veryrocky and very bumpy.
I think right now I'm uh youknow, at the calm after the
storm.
There's a lot of reallywonderful things that are
happening, and I'm allowingmyself to settle into them.
And even with that, there are alot of things that are maybe not
going as planned.
Or in my journey deck, there's aquestion of when did something

(47:25):
bad turn out to be good?
Like we put a label on thingsthat it's bad, but really it's
paving the way or opening up adoor towards another
opportunity.
So right now, I think things arereally going tremendously, and
sure, there's going to be loss,there's going to be suffering,
there's going to be pain.
But I'm in a good space nowwhere I'm able to really work
towards who I am.

(47:47):
You know, working with atherapist on some of my
neurodiversity, trying to workand get my sleep in order.
I had like three more weeks onmy braces.
I've been working out, eatingspinach every day.
I eat spinach every morning.
I feel like Popeye.
To me, it's the calm after thestorm, and I feel probably the
most healthiest or thehealthiest I've ever been, but

(48:08):
just the most clear andintentional.
And so right now is a greatplace.

SPEAKER_01 (48:12):
This has been amazing.
Uh just hearing who you are,learning some things.
I love it because I can I walkaway from here and who knows how
many listeners will takesomething from this, but I took
something from it.
So for me, it's it's fantastic.
So I appreciate it.
If someone's interested, maybeyou know, there because for me
as a man, you know, it's toughsometimes.
And the you mentioned pressureearlier, just the amount of

(48:34):
pressure you're under.
If someone needs some some helpor wants to get involved with
Gent's Journey, like what's howdo people find you?
What's the best way?

SPEAKER_00 (48:42):
Sure.
Thanks so much for asking.
So if you go to gentsjourney.co,there's no M on that.
So that's gentsjourney.co slashjoin.
It's going to take you to ourSubstack.
And we have some, like I talkedabout, packing for purpose.
We have uh relationship courses,we have workout videos.
Uh Matt, the gentleman who Ireferred to, he's an amazing uh

(49:03):
full-body workout.
We have you know meetings wherewe're getting ready to interview
somebody in terms of financesand you know retirement
planning.
So we have tons of resourcesthere.
It's totally free.
If you want to come in on someof the meetings and meet some of
the experts, you know, you cando that as well.
But if you go to gentsjourney.coslash join, you can join there.
And then if you want to go over,if you want to learn more about

(49:24):
you know myself, you can go tostepensidel.com.
So that's s t-e-p-h-en-se-i-d el dot com.
I would love to speak.
My mission is to inspire youknow children of all ages,
including the vulnerablechildren.
So I I volunteer at likePartners for Youth, Penn State,
a lot of NIL programs, but atthe end of the day, I'm just

(49:46):
here to be of service tohopefully have allow you guys to
live your best life.
So you can check me out overthere.
Um and if there's businessowners and you want to go to
stevensidel.com/slash media, Ihave a really cool one sheet
that gives you four platformswhere there's experts and
journalists that are looking forexperts.
So if you're an expert, whateverfield that you may be in, you

(50:06):
may be an expert journeyman likeJake or you know, some of these
other things, like a live eventspecialist or just somebody
who's really good at juggling.
I don't know.
But if you go tostevensidale.com/slash media,
you can find four differentsites where you can get
opportunities to really shareyour own story, like we talked
about, and get listed on youknow bigger stages.

SPEAKER_01 (50:27):
Fantastic.
Appreciate you sharing that.
Then lastly, you're looking backat, you know, what'd you say you
were five foot three when yougraduated high school?

SPEAKER_00 (50:35):
Five three, man.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (50:36):
Five three.
So you look at back look at fivefoot three Steven and your
48-year-old Steven now.
What would you tell five footthree Steven as he's about to
graduate?

SPEAKER_00 (50:44):
So, first thing I would say is make sure to reach
out to Alicia because I went tohigh school with Pink.
I play tennis with her brother,Jason Moore.
I'd be like, make sure you reachout to Alicia and you know, let
her know that she's a reallygood singer.
Secondly, don't be so scared.
Don't be so scared.
Like too often in this world,and I tell my daughter this all
the time, and we talk about I'min a meditation group where it's

(51:06):
just about like enlightenment oryou know, if you believe in God,
Buddha, whomever, whatever itis.
But it's about living in themoment.
It's run by Pat Croce.
He's a former Sixers uh generalmanager.
But he says this, I don't, I'mborrowing it from him.
Your thoughts are not true, yourthoughts are not you.
Let them flow through.
And he's like, the moment youcan control the weather, you can

(51:27):
control your thoughts.
And too often we have thesethoughts in our head.
And as a people pleaser, I builtso much of my foundation, my
sense of self-worth onvalidation and acceptance as a
young child.
And so, like, I would stay homeon Friday nights with my mom and
watch 2020, and I was ashamed ofthat.
And I was scared, you know, willthey make fun of you?

(51:49):
Or, you know, are you gonna dosomething wrong?
Or you know, how are you gonnaget to whatever?
It doesn't even matter.
Figure out what you like andjust go for it.
And if they're not cool with it,then that's their problem.

SPEAKER_01 (51:59):
Thank you so much, Steven, for coming on Journey
with Jake.

SPEAKER_00 (52:02):
Yeah, I appreciate it.
And for anybody out there, ifyou've been wanting to say
something to anybody, friend,family, fellow coworker, just
tell them, be honest, go heartto heart and share something
because it may you never knowwhen it may be too late.
And in my TEDx talk, I'm gonnaleave you guys with this roomy
quote.
Oftentimes we've lost people,our pets, our loved ones.
Goodbyes are only for those wholove with their eyes, because

(52:24):
for those who love with theirheart and soul, there's no such
thing as separation.
They're still with us.

SPEAKER_01 (52:30):
I love it.
Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 (52:32):
Thanks, Jay.

SPEAKER_01 (52:33):
What an inspiring conversation with Steven Seidel.
I love how he reminds us thatevery chapter in life has
something to teach us, and thatconnection truly is one of our
greatest adventures.
If you'd like to learn moreabout Steven and the incredible
work he's doing to create safespaces for men, visit
StevensSidel.com andgentsjourney.co.
Both are great places to divedeeper into his message and

(52:55):
community.
As always, thank you for tuningin and for being part of the
Journey with Jake community.
Your support, your shares, yourreviews truly make a difference.
And they help the show continueto grow and reach even more
people with stories just likeStevens.
And make sure to join metomorrow, Thanksgiving, for a
special bonus episode with myformer guest Rand Timmerman.

(53:19):
We'll dive deeper into hisharrowing experience as a
soldier in Vietnam.
It's one of those powerful,heartfelt conversations.
Ah, you won't want to miss it.
Just remember, it's not alwaysabout the destination, as it is
about the journey.
Take care, everybody.