Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Introduction (00:03):
Welcome to a place
of peace, hope, and divine
encouragement. This is Joy inEvery Step with your host,
beloved preacher, retiredteacher, and faithful through
(00:31):
the valleys or dancing on themountaintops, Sarita's voice
will guide you back to hispromises step by step. So open
your heart, settle your spirit,and take the next step in faith
with joy in every step.
Sarita Bernadette (00:54):
Hi. I'm
Sabrina Bernadette, and welcome
back to Joy in Every Step. I'mso glad you're here. We all have
something that we regret doingor saying. The memory or the
moment can live on in our mindslike a rude, uninvited guest if
we allow it.
I've been there. The words, theactions, they get replayed over
(01:19):
and over and over again. And wewish we could turn the clock
back to a time before themisstep happened. If only, if
only we could go back and changethe behavior or snatch the words
back. If only, if only we had agiant pink eraser and we could
(01:41):
magically make it go away.
Remember pink erasers? When Iwas a classroom teacher, my
first graders would fight tohave one of those close by as
they were writing. I thinkknowing they could erase their
mistakes enabled them to writewith a certain level of
confidence and freedom. Youknow, if I mess up, I can make
(02:05):
it go away and I can start allover again. I don't have to see
my mistakes anymore.
No regrets. That's powerful.Stay with me. We're going to
talk about quieting the noise ofregrets today. Regret is defined
as a feeling of sadness,repentance, or even
(02:26):
disappointment over somethingthat has happened or perhaps
been done.
And I would imagine that all ofus have something that we could
call a regret, Or maybe we havemore than one. It's plural,
regrets, right? We all havethem. It doesn't matter who we
are or where we come from. It'spart of the human condition.
(02:50):
None of us is perfect. There's aparaphrase of a quote that I
love. It's from Kierkegaard, andit goes something like this.
Life is lived going forward, butunderstood looking backwards. As
we move through our lives, wecan make choices and decisions
(03:11):
that affect outcomes, right?
We make those choices every dayand the importance of the
choices we make become cleareras we go. Many times we look
back and we realize we didn'thave the awareness that we have
now. In other words, we did thebest we could with the
information we had at that time.Some of you are familiar with
(03:35):
the old adage, If I knew then,like I know now, yes, if only.
Well, the positive side of thatstatement acknowledges growth
and progress.
Listen to that. It implies thatwe've gained some wisdom and
some experience over time andthat we know something about how
(03:57):
to apply that wisdom andexperience in the here and now.
As a result of that wisdom andexperience, we've made some
changes. So if that situationpresented itself again today,
things would be different,right? Yes.
Regrets can be noisy in ourminds, but there are ways to
(04:21):
quiet that noise and to move on.I want to share a scripture from
the book of second Corinthians.It's the seventh chapter where
Paul is writing to the church atCorinth again. From what I
understand, he wrote severalletters. A couple are recorded
in the word of God, but thereare others so scholars say.
(04:42):
Paul writes this letter to thechurch at Corinth and he's
reminding them in there thatthere are some, basic
understandings about the gospeland he also points out the
importance of how they should,address issues that are popping
up in the church. We know howthat happens. Specifically
(05:05):
though, Paul tells them thatthey are responsible for doing
the work of actually living outand sharing the gospel. Paul
encourages them to be sorrowfulabout what has taken place in
the past and he stirs them tocontinue to make changes, to
(05:26):
adjust their behavior as they goalong. And what's interesting to
me is the way he aims for theirhearts.
He knows if their hearts aren'topen, his letter or letters
plural will fall on deaf ears.So Paul writes in second
Corinthians, this is verseseight through 10 and this is the
(05:47):
message version that I'm readingfrom. He says, I know I
distressed you greatly with myletter. Although I felt awful at
the time, I don't feel at allbad now that I see how it's
turned out. The letter upsetyou, but only for a while.
Now I'm glad, not that you wereupset, but that you were jarred
(06:09):
into turning things around. Youlet the distress bring you to
God, not drive you from Him. Theresult was all gain, no loss.
Verse 10 says, Distress thatdrives us to God does that. It
turns us around.
(06:29):
It gets us back in the way ofsalvation. We never regret that
kind of pain. But those who letdistress drive them away from
God are full of regrets and endup on a deathbed of regrets.
That's some strong language.Those verses from Paul's letter
(06:53):
capture the importance ofreflecting on one's mistakes and
using the lessons to get back ontrack.
We should use the lessons torealign ourselves with God's
plan. He warns us about allowingthe pain of regret to separate
us from Him. That particularBible translation uses the word
(07:16):
distress distress, which meansextreme anxiety, sorrow, and
pain. Paul says the church atCorinth used their distress to
make some changes, and as aresult, they grew closer to God.
(07:36):
The NRS VUE uses the term godlygrief, godly grief.
And it goes on to reiterate thatkind of grief leads one out of
regret and into correction.Let's get into some life lessons
from some witnesses in the wordof God. First, David. David, I
(08:00):
don't know about you, but he'sone of my favorite witnesses in
the word. There's just so muchto learn from the life of David
and many of you are familiarwith him.
David was a prominent figure inthe Old Testament. When you read
the Psalms, when you readthrough the Psalms, you know
that he loved the Lord. Right?He loved the Lord, but he led a
(08:21):
complicated life. Right?
A complicated life. David was amere shepherd boy when God
anointed him, king over overJudah and then later Israel. God
had set a purpose for David'slife very, very early. David
began to gain a reputation whenhe killed a giant named Goliath
(08:43):
in the name of the Lord. Many ofus are very familiar with that
story.
David became a fierce warrior.He became a gifted musician and
an accomplished poet. And yes,he indeed became a powerful and
noteworthy king. Second Samuelfive and ten tells us, and David
(09:06):
went on and grew great, and theLord God of hosts was with him.
I love that verse.
And David went on and grewgreat, and the Lord God of hosts
was with him. Put your name inthere sometimes and repeat that
(09:27):
verse over yourself. And Saritawent on and grew great. And the
Lord God of hosts was with her.Put your name in there sometime
and read that verse and speakthat verse over yourself as you
walk with the Lord.
Back to David. David did muchthat pleased the Lord in his
(09:49):
life and God was there with him,right there with him the whole
time. His name can be found inthe ancestry of Jesus Christ.
But David also made somemistakes, some really big ones.
I won't list them all here.
Feel free to take some time toread about them if you wish to.
(10:09):
And if you do, I would suggestthat you focus on how David
dealt with the consequences ofhis actions and how he was able
to eventually move on. So onehuge sin that you might have
heard about, one huge sin thatDavid regretted was one recorded
in second Samuel eleven andtwelve, and that one involved
(10:34):
Uriah, the Hittite soldier inDavid's army. He happened to be
Uriah happened to be the husbandof Bathsheba, a woman that David
saw and wanted. He had an affairwith Bathsheba, and this all led
to Uriah's death.
God was watching and let Davidknow it through a prophet named
(10:58):
Nathan. Yes, David messed up,but we can learn a very
important lesson from him. Davidhad regrets, and some of the
Psalms spell those out. He wasvery specific and honest with
the Lord, but the word of Godlets us know that he was a man
(11:19):
after God's heart. And Ihonestly believe that David's
heart change, his heart posturewas what moved God.
David was not only remorseful,he was repentant. Throughout his
life, David appealed to God formercy. Here's an example from
Psalm 51. It's verse 10. Davidsays, create in me a clean
(11:44):
heart, oh God, and renew asteadfast spirit within me.
In this particular psalm, Davidconfessed his sin, he asked for
forgiveness, and thenrestoration. He knew his sin
separated him from God, andDavid wanted to avoid that cycle
(12:04):
of shame and fear surroundingwhat he had done. If David sat
in, if David remained in regret,he would not have been able to
accomplish all that God hadplanned for him. The brave
warrior wouldn't have conqueredcities and subdued tribes. The
(12:25):
sincere worshiper wouldn't havegiven us the phrase that oft
prose, rather, that often startsour worship services.
All those beautiful psalms, thegifted poet would not have
written the verses that help usexpress our deep love and
reverence for God. David wouldnever have become the noble king
(12:46):
if he had allowed the noise ofhis regrets to overtake him.
David knew how to quiet thenoise. He quieted the noise with
praise and worship. Davidexpressed his gratitude to the
Lord for his grace and hismercy.
This is something I love aboutKing David. This practice helped
(13:10):
David move on and do what theLord wanted him to do. In Psalm
30 verses four and five, Davidwrote, Sing to the Lord, all you
godly ones praise his holy name,for his anger lasts only for a
moment, but his favor lasts alifetime. Weeping may last
(13:31):
through the night, but joy comeswith the morning. David reminded
us that God is worthy of ourpraise and that even though
things get messy at times, evenuncomfortable at times, joy
still comes.
Morning comes. What a way toquiet the noise of regret.
(13:56):
Worship will do it every time.Worship moves regret out of the
way so that we can get up andget moving. Now let me be clear,
not every mistake we make risesto the level of the sin that
David committed with Bathshebaand Uriah.
I understand that and I hope youdo too. We can agree that David
(14:19):
needed to pause to reflect andto ask God for forgiveness and
restoration. Sometimes mistakesthat we make are unintentional.
Something might happen that wedon't even plan. It's not
calculated.
Perhaps we had something elseplanned and things just went
(14:41):
awry. However, it caused someregret, right? Some pain even.
Even though we didn't intend forit to happen, it did and it can
linger. The pain of that regret,the pain of that event can
linger if we allow it to.
Romans eight and one reminds us,therefore, there is now no
(15:04):
condemnation for those who arein Christ Jesus. You have to
grab that truth and believe it.We are hardest on ourselves.
Often God has forgiven us, andpeople have forgotten all about
it. They've moved on.
God has moved on. But yet we'reholding on to it, unable to
(15:26):
forgive ourselves. That thought,that thought led me to Judas. I
know that's a hard left turn,isn't it? But just go with me
for a moment.
I wondered why his situationturned out the way it did when I
compared him to Peter, thedisciple. I mean, they they both
(15:47):
betrayed Jesus. Right? Well,full circle moment here. Judas
betrayed Jesus and regretted hisactions so deeply, he couldn't
even ask for forgiveness really,and repent.
He took his regret off alone inhis darkness and he sank into
(16:12):
despair. Look, he was sorryenough to return the money he
was paid to turn Jesus into theauthorities, but was that true
repentance? Was it reallyheartfelt? Peter, on the other
hand, remembered that Jesuspredicted he would deny him
(16:34):
three times. And the word letsus know that he cried bitter
tears.
He expressed godly grief. Andwhen he saw the resurrected
Jesus, Peter told him he lovedhim each time Jesus asked the
question. Three times he said,yes, Lord. I love you. You know
(16:57):
I love you.
True repentance. Peter was ableto forgive himself and accept
his mission to help spread thegospel. So yes, you can quiet
the noise by forgiving yourself.Go to God in prayer and after
(17:17):
you've asked Him to forgive you,ask Him to guide you through the
process of self forgiveness. Itmay take some time and the
process may require you to findsomeone safe to confide in.
That might be a relative, itmight be a friend, or even a
licensed therapist. Yes, Ibelieve in Jesus and therapy. So
(17:42):
to wrap up, quieting the noiseof regret is doable. Remember,
ask forgiveness if you need to.Then repent, that is turn away
from what you did, and doeverything in your power not to
repeat that behavior again.
Ask for restoration. Spend timein worship. There's nothing like
(18:05):
it to take your focus off theregret and turn it to what
really matters. Work onforgiving yourself. Give
yourself some grace.
Talk it over with someone youtrust. And journal about it.
Take some time to write somethings down. We know that
(18:26):
writing down what's on ourminds, what's in our hearts has
been shown to be helpful withprocessing our emotions and
reducing stress and anxiety.It's also, it's also a way for
us to create space for intimatetime with God.
Lastly, but most importantly,get into that word of God. Study
(18:51):
the scriptures that addressthinking and how to change it.
That's how you can maintain amindset that allows you to move
forward. Joyce Meyer used tosay, think about what you're
thinking about. So I'm closingwith this scripture.
It's from Philippians four andeight and I'm reading from the
NRSVUE. It goes like this,Finally, and sisters, whatever
(19:16):
is true, whatever is honorable,whatever is just, whatever is
pure, whatever is pleasing,whatever is commendable, if
there is any excellence and ifthere is anything worthy of
praise, think about thesethings. Quiet the noise of
(19:37):
regret by replacing thosethoughts with the thoughts that
are worth your time. You've beenlistening to Joy in Every Step.
I'm Sarita Bernadette and I'mgrateful you chose to spend just
a little bit of your time herewith me.
You can find Joy in Every Stepwherever you listen to your
podcasts and please give us afollow there. Do check out the
(20:00):
website at joyineverystep.org.