Is It Really Possible To Plan The PERFECT Wedding?

Is any wedding truly perfect? When it comes down to it, no. Never. BUT, I’m going to tell you how you can have a perfect wedding despite it all!

I firmly believe that no event is perfect, technically. But I do believe we can change our perspective on what makes a wedding perfect. Why? Because we can plan all we want, but sometimes the dog gets into the cake. Or your maid of honour forgot her shoes. Or heck, maybe you even forgot your marriage license at home and you need to rush back to get it! Although I seriously hope that never happens for anyone. 

The point is, there’s always something wild and wacky that’s going to happen that you didn’t plan for, but you can’t let that take away from the true perfection that is your wedding.

So we need to adjust our outlooks on what “perfection” is. Perhaps it’s appreciating how your friend arranges your centrepieces differently than what you had expected, or going with the flow when something takes more time than you thought it would. No matter what happens, there’s a way to find perfection in your wedding day.

I used to be a perfectionist and now I call myself a recovering perfectionist, but this outlook didn’t come without some hard work to really be mindful of everything going on in my head - so I’m going to share with you my favourite ways to have a perfectly imperfect wedding. In this episode we’ll discuss:

• Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong
• Be open to the possibility of change
• People will do stuff their way
• Choose to see the imperfections as perfections
• Try your best to focus on all of the positive elements of the day

So, If you can choose to look past the quote “imperfect” elements of how your wedding played out, you’ll quickly see that your wedding day CAN be perfect.

If you found this video useful I’d be so grateful if you subscribed! Drop a comment below if you have questions about staying present and I’d be happy to share what I know to help! I’ll be back next Thursday with another wedding planning video, so until then keep it joyful!

Highlights

00:01 Intro

03:18 Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong

04:38 Be open to the possibility of change

05:56 People will do stuff their way

08:08 If things go REALLY wrong…

If you found this episode useful I’d be so grateful if you followed and shared this episode with a friend, or your fiance! If you have questions about staying present and I’d be happy to share what I know to help, drop me an email at [e-mail]! I’ll be back next Thursday with another wedding planning episode, so until then keep it joyful!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
You're listening to Joyful Wedding Planning your
spot for de-stressing andrelaxing while you plan your
wedding.
You might be thinking is thateven possible?
Well, heck, yeah, it is.
I'm your host, emily DeCluv,founder of the Joy Factor
Weddings and Events, and I'mhere to help you plan the
wedding of your dreams joyfully,whether you're a DIYer or a

(00:24):
delegator.
This podcast will help you findthe Joy Factor as you plan your
wedding.
Is any wedding truly perfect?
Well, when it comes down to it,no, but I'm going to show you
how you can have a perfectwedding despite it all.

(00:46):
Hey, I'm Emily DeCluv, founderof the Joy Factor, a wedding and
event planning company based inToronto serving couples
globally.
Today I'm wearing a very brightand shiny shirt and it makes a
funny sound, just in case youcan hear that oh so squeaky.
Anyway, I release new podcastsevery Thursday to bring the Joy
Factor back into your weddingplanning, so make sure to hit

(01:07):
the follow button wherever youget your podcasts.
So I firmly believe that noevent is ever perfect like
technically, but I firmlybelieve that we can change our
perspective on whether or notour wedding day was perfect.
Why?
Because we can plan all we want, but sometimes the dog gets in
the cake, or your maid of honourforgot her shoes, or heck.

(01:29):
Maybe you forgot your marriagelicense at home and you need to
rush back to get it, Although Iseriously hope that never
happens to anyone.
But the point is there's alwayssomething wild and wacky that's
going to happen.
But you cannot let that takeaway from the true perfection
that is your wedding.
From my DIY wedding, I musthave done like a zillion things
wrong, on top of friends andfamily who helped throughout the

(01:51):
day.
Like the thing is, people justdid things their way, not the
way that I was expecting, but bythe end of the night I still
felt like it was absolutelyperfect.
Why?
Because I chose to see it thatway.
I could have been upset that ourwalk down the aisle wasn't
perfect and we didn't get tohear enough of the song that my
uncle had spent monthspracticing on the piano.
So, like as soon as we got outthe little door to start walking

(02:13):
down the aisle, my husbandstarted going pretty quickly and
I pulled back and I was like,wait, you're going way too fast.
And then I looked up and I saweverybody in front of me and I
immediately panicked.
I was like, oh, everyone'slooking at me and then I started
rushing down the aisle.
I have not yet lived thatmoment down, but it was pretty
funny.
Like you have to look at thesethings as like oh, that was a

(02:35):
funny, silly moment instead oflike, oh, my God, I ruined that
moment.
And now for me that's like theperfect moment for us as a
couple, even though it reallywasn't that perfect in the
moment.
Right, I could have been liketotally worried about the fact
that the chairs had been stackedto the side of the room after
the ceremony.
I thought that they were goingto be a little bit more like
spread out around the venue, butthe reality was there actually

(02:58):
wasn't enough space to have themall spread out around the
entire venue and my friends hadstacked them to make it easier
for us, to make it easier forall of the guests.
So in my perfect plan, all thechairs are around the perimeter
of the room, but in realitythere's no way that would have
worked and my friends justjumped into action to make that
part of the wedding more perfectfor me so that I didn't have to

(03:20):
think about it.
It also made it a lot easier toget the chairs out at the end
of the night, and if you haven'tlistened to the episode where I
talk about how stressful it wasto rent those chairs, I will
link to that in the show notes.
But this outlook didn't comewithout some really hard work to
be very mindful of everythingthat's going on in my head.
So that's why today I want toshare with you my tips for
having an absolutely perfectwedding.

(03:42):
No matter how perfect orimperfect it is, it is totally
possible to have a perfectwedding.
Number one whatever can gowrong will go wrong.
It's Murphy's Law.
When I grew up, I used to watchthat show, murphy Brown a lot
and I thought that it was herlaw, nothing to do with her.
But I digress Things will justgo wrong.

(04:02):
The sooner that you can acceptthat, the easier your wedding is
going to be overall and themore perfect it's going to be.
Like you're going to find stuff, like I did at the end of the
night, where you're like wow,that is 100% not what I was
expecting that to go like.
But if you can have the mindsetand start cultivating the

(04:23):
mindset that things are going togo differently than what you
are expecting, you mightsurprise yourself.
You might be like, wow, I'mactually really okay with this
outcome and if this thing hadn'thappened like the chairs for me
I would have been like what thehell are we doing?
We're swimming in chairs.
You know what I mean.
So are there things in yourdaily life where you could be

(04:44):
like okay, I made a plan to goto the gym but I didn't get to
stay for as long as I wanted.
Can you like be okay with that?
And like can you find a way totranslate that into your wedding
day?
The more you practice beingmindful about this now, when it
gets to your wedding day, it'sgoing to be so much easier, and
then you'll have a perfectlyimperfect wedding day.

(05:06):
Number two be open to thepossibility of change.
This kind of dovetails reallynicely from my previous point.
Dovetails Releasing doves.
Is that a humane thing to do?
That's something I shouldGoogle.
If, for some reason, ascheduled event isn't happening
at the time that you expected itto, is there a way to like be

(05:27):
okay with it happening a littlebit later in the night?
Like maybe you planned for yourcake cutting at 8pm, but people
are having a really good timeon the dance floor and you want
to give them some time to justenjoy themselves.
Can you like switch that up alittle bit, or can you make that
an intimate moment between youand your new spouse?
And maybe the whole entirewedding doesn't have to be a

(05:50):
part of your cake cutting?
I don't know.
Maybe that's like reallyimportant to you and maybe the
first option is the betteroption.
Where you just like switch itto a slightly later time, can
you be open to the possibilityof change in the middle of the
wedding, just so that you can goa little bit more with the flow
?
Could that make your weddingactually be perfect?
And I'm just posing thesequestions to you because, like

(06:12):
In the back of your mind on yourwedding day, one random things
come up.
I hope that these little tipsare going to help you just like
reframe and see just how magicalyour actual wedding day is.
In that moment, number three,people are going to be doing
things their way, which meansthey won't be doing it your way,
but you really don't want to bein charge of everything, right?

(06:33):
For those of us who love to bein control I myself am I
recovering control freak it isreally hard to let go and let
other people take over certaintasks for you, like like setting
up the catering table at mywedding.
I was like, oh, I'm just goingto continue to put all of this
stuff out and I'm going to likemake sure that the these squares

(06:56):
are in the right place andthese truffles are over here in
the correct place.
And my mom yelled at me.
She didn't yell at me, she waslike Emily, it's time for you to
go get ready.
And I had to like just likehands down, just like let go of
it all and just be okay with howeverybody else was setting up
the catering tables.
Was it how I would have done it?
No, absolutely not.

(07:17):
But it was done perfectly towhat their expectations were,
and my expectations were thatthey would do things perfectly.
So, technically to me it wasperfect.
But again, it's that mindsetelement that you have to be okay
with the possibility of changeto your plans and you have to be
okay with, like letting peopledo the things that they do and
let them do it well, becauseeverybody is really good at

(07:41):
their jobs, especially if youspent enough time thinking about
who am I going to assign on theday to take care of these
things.
Of course, I'm going to choosemy mom to do the catering,
because she used to do catering,so, like her stuff was perfect,
I would have done a much worsejob, and I know that to be true.
I assigned my mother-in-law totake care of making sure that we
had everything packed up,because I knew that I didn't

(08:02):
want to have any of that stress.
So so I made her a huge, longchecklist and I said you need to
make sure that all of thesethings get into the car, and I
had to just like relax and chill, and for me, relaxing and
chilling was doing my brother'shair, and that was very helpful
for me, and if I hadn't assignedthat to her, then I would have

(08:23):
been totally stressed out.
Now she did it in a way that Ireally wasn't expecting, because
everybody does stuff in theirown ways, but the important
thing was that I practicedletting go and delegating and
just letting people takeownership of what I had assigned
to them.
Okay, number five this one is atricky one If something goes
really, really, really wrong,like really terribly, terribly

(08:46):
wrong, like maybe a fight breaksout or the rings have been lost
in transit, or I don't know,like there's so many different
elements that could go wrong andtrust me, with so many
different moving pieces,something wild is probably going
to happen.
Try your best to focus on all ofthe things that did go right.

(09:08):
And it's always, like you know,we get all in our heads about
like, oh, there's one thing, ifI could just change this one
thing.
But like, is changing one thingreally going to make the entire
difference of the entire day?
No, the thing that makes thedifference for the entire day is
how well everything else wentright and like it sucks when
someone comes in and maybethey've had a bit too much to

(09:29):
drink and they kind of like ruinwhat, what would have been like
the quote on quote perfect day.
And I know that sucks and I'mnot trying to diminish that at
all, but if it happens, is therea way for you to look at
everything else and be like, wow, like this ceremony was perfect
, or wow, my mom did a great jobof helping me get into my dress

(09:52):
, or you know, just try to tryto hold on to the perfect
moments, and I have actuallyanother video, another episode,
about staying present in themoment During your wedding day,
so I will link that here.
The thing is, if something goeswrong because of somebody's
selfish acts Like you can't.
You can't let that Haunt youfor the rest of your life and

(10:16):
you have to be able to choose tofocus on all of the joyful
moments that happened insteadand it's tough, but I know you
can do it.
So if you can choose to lookpast all of the quote-unquote
Imperfect things that happenedon your wedding day, you'll
quickly see that your weddingday actually can be perfect.
If you found this episodeuseful, I'd be so grateful if
you followed and shared thisepisode with a friend or your

(10:38):
fiancee.
If you have any questions aboutplanning your Perfect or
imperfect wedding, drop me aline at Emily at Joy Fractor
weddings calm.
I will be back next Thursdaywith another wedding planning
episode, so until then, keep itjoyful.

(10:59):
Thanks for listening to joyfulwedding planning.
I hope you got something out ofthis episode and hey, if you
did leave me a review.
Wherever you listen to yourpodcast, it helps me to find
more listeners just like you, sothat we can take all the stress
out of wedding planning and gofrom panic to joy filled moments
.
Need help to plan your weddingBook a call with me at
JoyFactorWeddingscom.
I can't wait to help you planthe wedding of your dreams.

(11:21):
This podcast was produced bythe ultimate creative.
Learn more about producing yourown podcast at
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