The Do's and Dont's of Joyful Wedding Planning

Planning a wedding is an anxiety inducing nightmare full of bridezillas and doom grooms so joyful wedding planning is impossible, right?

Bwahahahahahhahahahaha heck no!

I love bringing joy into people’s lives, to help them create moments and memories that they’ll cherish forever! And as I was thinking about starting my wedding planning business, I kept coming back to the idea that planning a wedding doesn’t have to be some sort of frustrating activity that ends in breakups and family fights, it can truly be joyful, despite all the decisions and the family pressures. So today I’m going to share with you my Do’s and Dont’s of joyful wedding planning to make your wedding planning process even more joyful!

Full list of Do's and Dont's here: https://joyfactorweddings.com/the-dos-and-donts-of-joyful-wedding-planning/

The wedding planning process can be anxiety inducing and stressful and hard - but remember, it’s your day, and there’s always a way to make the process more enjoyable!

Links:
Wedding Activities That Will Make Your Guests Go Wild! https://joyfactorweddings.com/wedding-activities-that-will-make-your-guests-go-wild
Creating a Perfect Wedding Itinerary: https://joyfactorweddings.com/creating-a-perfect-wedding-itinerary
The Dance of Anger by Harriet Learner: https://a.co/d/8PmWoUm

00:01 Intro
01:08 An un-joyful wedding planning story
01:50 The do’s and dont’s of joyful wedding planning

If you found this episode useful I’d be so grateful if you followed and shared this episode with a friend, or your fiance! If you have questions about staying present and I’d be happy to share what I know to help, drop me an email at [e-mail]! I’ll be back next Thursday with another wedding planning episode, so until then keep it joyful!

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Watch full videos on YouTube @joyfactorweddings

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
You're listening to Joyful Wedding Planning your
spot for de-stressing andrelaxing while you plan your
wedding.
You might be thinking is thateven possible?
Well, heck, yeah, it is.
I'm your host, emily DeCluv,founder of the Joy Factor
Weddings and Events, and I'mhere to help you plan the
wedding of your dreams joyfully.
Whether you're a DIYer or adelegator, this podcast will

(00:26):
help you find the Joy Factor asyou plan your wedding.
Planning a wedding is an anxietyinducing nightmare, full of
bright zillas and doom grooms,so it's impossible to have fun
while planning your wedding.
Right?
I beg to differ, but then again, I'm Emily DeCluv, founder of

(00:51):
the Joy Factor Weddings andEvents.
I'm based in Toronto and Iserve couples globally, and I
drop new wedding planning videosand podcasts every Thursday, so
make sure you are subscribed onYouTube and following me on
your favorite podcast app.
I love bringing joy intopeople's lives and helping them
to create moments that they willcherish forever.

(01:12):
That's why I'm so obsessed withwedding planning, and as I was
thinking about starting mybusiness, I kept coming back to
this idea that, like weddingplanning really doesn't have to
be all doom and gloom or end inbreakups or family fights or
anything.
It really can be joyful, and Iwant to show you some different
ways that you can make thathappen so that it is a fun

(01:34):
experience for you.
And today I'm going to sharewith you my do's and don'ts of
joyful wedding planning.
So a little while ago I wastalking to a bride about how
wedding planning was going.
She looked at me in the eye andshe was like I don't even think
there's going to be a weddingat this point of things.
I don't change, and that reallyhurt my soul because I wanted

(01:55):
her to have the best possibleday, like the day of her dreams.
But there was a lot of familydrama happening and she was
stressed out because her fiancewasn't helping as much as she
would have hoped, and so wechatted it through.
I gave her a little pep talk Ilike to think it helped a little
bit At least I hope it did andI gave her some of my tips for

(02:15):
keeping the whole process joyfuland keeping it moving, even
though I know it is and it canbe very stressful to plan a
wedding, especially with so manydifferent people's expectations
.
Okay, so let's get into the do'sand don'ts of planning your
wedding joyfully.
Do make it all about you.
Yeah, this is your moment to bea little bit selfish.

(02:36):
So if people are puttingunreasonable expectations on you
or your time, it's okay to sayI don't want to do that.
No is a full sentence.
So make it about you.
You won't come across as abridezilla or a doomgroom If you
explain to them matter offactly, without emotion.
This element that you aresuggesting doesn't feel right to

(02:58):
me and I need to do what'sright for my wedding.
I hope that you can understandthat we are planning a very
special day for us and we wantyou to be very much a part of it
.
However, this particular thingis not going to be happening on
our wedding day.
It feels like pretty heavy,like it's a lot to say and to
say it without emotion, butsometimes it's necessary and you

(03:20):
could kind of tweak this towhatever language you need to
use to communicate what yourneeds are effectively to the
person who is causing you dramaand angst.
Don't worry about what peopleare going to say or think.
People will have opinions.
That's fine.
It's not their wedding.
They can go have their ownwedding.

(03:40):
That's what I have to say.
So just again, make it aboutyou, about the things that you
want to have at your wedding.
If you want to have a mandressed up as a dinosaur, you
can have a man dressed up as adinosaur.
That's fun and it's goodbecause it's true to you and
actually most of your guests arereally going to love that man

(04:00):
dressed as a dinosaur and theone person who's like they
weren't going to have fun tobegin with.
So why does it matter what theythink?
Do consider that your guestswant to enjoy themselves.
So I made a video about funwedding activities that you can
plan for your guests so thatthey have a blast.
I will link to that.
But consider that your guestsare coming to celebrate you and

(04:23):
they want to have a good time.
If you give them nothing to do,it will be not a fun time for
everybody.
So check out my super duper,super long list of fun wedding
activities to keep your guestsentertained for the whole night.
Don't do something if you thinkyour guests will absolutely
hate it.
I mean you can if you want, butif you think that your guests

(04:45):
are going to really hate beingchased around by zombies, maybe
don't hire the zombie crew tocome and do the entertainment.
Maybe find something that willtick your box of zombie love,
but not necessarily terrify thepants off of your guests and
make them want to leave.
Do ask your parents if they'veset aside any money for your

(05:07):
wedding.
You'll want to know this inadvance because maybe that's
part of your budget andhopefully the conversation is a
relatively easy one.
It may not be, and they may bemore inclined to have that
discussion with you after thewedding.
However, if you have certainthings that you want to do for
your wedding, it might be goodto know in advance how much
money you have to work with.
On that note, don't have anyexpectations about how much your

(05:30):
parents can help you with yourwedding.
If they have some money tooffer, wonderful.
If they don't, also wonderful.
You will find a way to haveyour dream wedding, for sure.
Do create a budget for yourdream wedding and make sure that
you're really, really truthfulabout all of the things that you
want and then don't sacrificethe things that you want the
most.

(05:50):
There's going to be things thatyou have to cut out because of
budget considerations.
But think about is there aparticular dress that you really
want to have, thanks, or isthere a particular band that you
really want to hire?
You may need to makeadjustments in your budget, and
that's fine, because, at the endof the day, that non-negotiable
thing that you really, reallywant that is going to help you

(06:12):
feel like this is the best dayever.
Do create boundaries with yourfamily about who will and who
will not be invited.
Just because your mom wants youto invite a certain somebody
who you haven't spoken to in5,000 years doesn't mean that
you actually have to Stay firmwith your boundaries, even if
your mom is paying for thewedding, and this may be a

(06:34):
little bit stress inducing, butit might be a good time to have
a really important conversationabout boundaries too.
So look at it as a win-win.
And if you need help with thoseconversations, I can recommend
a great book.
It's called the Dance of Angerby Harriet Lerner.
Oh, my God changed my life.
It's so much easier to havehard conversations now, truly,

(06:55):
and don't invite people that youare uncomfortable with.
Just hard, stop.
Just don't even no.
If you don't like them, they'renot coming, they're not coming.
Forget it.
Do make space for fun during theplanning process.
Maybe, instead of sitting athome planning something with
your fiancee, you go out todinner and plan all of the
wedding activities.
Find different ways to make theactual process fun for you

(07:20):
instead of making it feel like achore Cause.
Sometimes you know it's gonnafeel like a chore, but at the
end of the day, if you can findways to make it fun and
interesting for both of you,you'll have a much better time.
Don't let planning get in theway of your relationship.
If you're like stuck onsomething, a decision that has
to be made, and neither of youwants to compromise in any way,

(07:45):
find a third-party mediator.
Hey, a wedding planner is agreat third-party mediator to
help you make those bigdecisions.
But at the end of the day, thewedding is just a day.
The marriage is a lifetime, asthey say.
So don't let one day get in theway of your entire future.
Do make a point to appreciatethe small things, like when you

(08:06):
get your Amazon deliveries ofall of your little honey dippers
that you're gonna be puttinginto your charcuterie table.
Yay, now you have honey dippers, like.
Just find ways to appreciatehow nice those things are.
Don't let yourself stress orpanic more than you need to.
I did a whole episode about howto have a stress-free wedding
and in it I say that you canchoose what stresses you out.

(08:29):
And yeah, there is going to besome stress, there will be some
panic moments and it's reallygood actually to let some of
that out, because if you bottleit all up, it's just gonna
fester and you're gonna explodeand that might not be a pretty
picture on your wedding day.
So that's why I say don't letyourself stress or panic more
than you need to, because we doneed to let off that little

(08:50):
steam valve every once in awhile.
Just take it out on somethinglike an old TV with an axe.
You know dealer's choice, butalways come back to remembering
what the day is truly about Love.
Do wear something that makes youfeel amazing and don't pick a
dress or outfit just becausesomebody else says that they
like it and they want you towear it and they're paying for

(09:12):
it for you.
Choose what you feel absolutelyamazing in.
Do show gratitude to all ofyour vendors and don't forget to
thank all of your friends andfamily for helping you on your
special day.
Do incorporate elements thatare special to you and your
fiancee.
That could be a video gamecharacter you both love, or
maybe it's tickets to the firstconcert you went to.

(09:33):
Find little special things toincorporate to make it that much
more meaningful for the both ofyou.
However, don't let themes oractivities overshadow you and
your fiancee.
If you want everyone to comedressed up as a particular
character, that's great, butwill it steal the show in your
wedding photos?
That's all I'm saying.

(09:55):
That's all I'm saying.
Find a way to incorporate it,but don't let it overshadow you.
Do have a solid plan for what'sgonna happen on your wedding
day.
I have an episode on planningyour wedding itinerary.
I will link to that here.
And don't leave things tochance, unless it's a controlled
chance, like maybe you wannaroll the dice on having open
speeches.
I tried it.

(10:16):
Nobody wanted to do an openspeech at my wedding.
That's why I had to coercepeople into doing speeches, but
I liked it.
They were really good speeches.
And finally, do find a way tomake the wedding planning
process more joyful, whateverthat means for you, because you
only really get to do it once ora couple of times in your life
and you want to make it fun.
And all that to say, I knowthis process can feel stressful

(10:39):
and anxiety inducing, but thereare ways to make it more joyful.
And hey, if I can help withthat.
Please send me an email, emilyat joyfactorweddingscom, and
we'll find a way that I can helpyou to plan your wedding more
joyfully.
If you liked this episode, Iwould be so honored if you
shared it with a friend or yourfiancee.

(11:01):
And make sure you hit thesubscribe button or follow
wherever you listen to yourpodcasts, because I drop new
wedding videos every singleThursday so that you can plan
your wedding more joyfully.
I'll be back next Thursday withanother wedding planning video,
so until then, keep it joyful.
Thanks for listening to joyfulwedding planning.

(11:23):
I hope you got something out ofthis episode.
And hey, if you did, leave me areview wherever you listen to
your podcasts.
It helps me to find morelisteners just like you, so that
we can take all the stress outof wedding planning and go from
panic to joy filled moments.
Need help to plan your weddingBook?
A call with me atjoyfactorweddingscom.
I can't wait to help you planthe wedding of your dreams.
Yeah, this podcast was producedby the ultimate creative.

(11:56):
Learn more about producing yourown podcast at
theultimatecreativecom.